Discontentment can be measured as the gap between what we have and what we want. The larger the gap between what we have and what we want, the more discontentment that brews within us.
There are two ways to close this gap. The first is society's prescription: do whatever it takes to get more so that you can narrow the gap between what you have and what you want.
Let's apply numbers to this scenario. Let's say you have 25 units, and you want to get to 100 units. That's a gap of 75 units....you have a LOT of discontentment. If you work really, really hard and hoard all those units for yourself, you can slowly ratchet upwards. First, you'll claw up to 40 units, then 50, 60, and possibly even 70 units. You'll celebrate, knowing you may possibly get to your goal of 100 units and (finally) be content.
There's a problem with society's way of handling this math equation, though. The 100-unit measuring stick is a moving target. As you get closer to your goal, you'll move the goalpost, and what you once desired will be elevated. By the time you get to 70 units, you'll realize there's more to be had. Therefore, instead of your original goal of 100 units, you'll increase the target to 150 units. As such, you're back to having a large gap. In fact, you now have a gap of 80 units.....even more than when you started! This is how we humans often become more discontent as we improve our standards of living. It's a never-ending race, and we'll always be on the losing end.
Here's the second way to close this gap: find ways to decrease the desired target. Let's use the same example as before. You start at 25 units and want to reach 100 units. However, instead of engaging in the pursuit of more, you find ways to decrease the number of units you want. Over time, through the natural course of life, you go from 25 units to 50 units. You could have had more units, but living with a generous spirit is important to you. At the same time, your desired target decreases from 100 to 50. Since you now have 50 units and your target is 50 units, you feel a deep sense of contentment. You don't have an underlying sense of want. You don't envy. You don't crave.
The first person has 60 units and feels more discontented than ever. The second person has 50 units (less than the first) and lives with a deep sense of contentment.
The second person is me, deeply content. The first person is who I was trending toward becoming in my 20s and early 30s: deeply discontent. Much of our society operates in the deeply discontent camp. It’s woven into our values, our perspectives, our practices, and our behaviors. We need to give ourselves heart surgery. We need to recognize the gap is real, know there are theoretically two ways to close the gap, but only one way to actually close it.
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