No Clue

A few days ago, one of my business partners asked me for my guidance on an important topic. "No clue," I responded. I wasn't trying to be dismissive, but I literally had no clue. "I have no value to add to this conversation." I wasn't trying to play stupid.....I was stupid. However, I think this is the way we all should handle more things in life.

We aren't - can't - be experts in all things. If we're experts in all things, then we're likely experts in nothing. The reason I'm able to speak with such conviction in xyz areas of life, finances, or business is that I'm equally as willing to admit shortcomings in others. I know what I know, and I don't know what I don't know. The key is being willing and able to recognize what we don't know. And on the topic at hand with my business partners, I had no true value to add.

If we're being pure with this concept, it should apply to all areas of life: business, work, friendships, and even marriage. My wife asks me dozens of questions per day. Either I have a convicted answer for her.....or I don't. "I don't know" is a perfectly acceptable answer, and Sarah has grown accustomed to me shooting her straight, one way or another. Sometimes, she's surprised by the things I say "I don't know" to, and vice versa. But as a husband, I owe it to her to be honest not only with her, but with myself. If she and I collectively don't know the answer to a question, it's our responsibility to seek outside counsel.

Following this process, regardless of the topic, allows us to grow and succeed. The alternative approach can lead to some pretty harsh realities. I can't even fairly convey how many people I meet who live with sincere conviction on all sorts of topics they have no business being convicted about. When that happens, poor, questionable, and dangerous decisions get made. Decisions that have far-reaching and long-lasting implications.

It's a pretty simple takeaway today. Be willing to say "no clue." Have the humility to admit you don't know something, then the added humility to seek out the answer from someone who does. The most successful people I know don't know all the answers; they have the humility and wherewithal to know when they don't.

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….So You Don’t Have To

I ran into a blog reader at a coffee shop yesterday. He said he felt conflicted about my recent post revolving around my preparations to ensure my family is financially cared for if I meet an untimely death. On one hand, he respects the fact that I'm trying to make sure my family is taken care of if/when I’m gone. On the flip side, though, he doesn't like that I "always think about money."

In a lot of ways, I get it. If one of our loved ones passes away, there's a deep and profound pain from the loss. Money doesn't matter. In fact, we'd happily give away every single cent we have if it meant we could bring that person back. But we can't. What's done is done. Then, after the initial shock, pain, and horror of loss starts to subside, the next wave of pain hits us: the financial consequences. The loss of income. The funeral expenses. The medical bills. The unknowns about where the money is, what's owed to who, and what ongoing bills need to be addressed. This is a level of stress that only those who have been through it can properly put into context just how heavy it can be.

Back to my friend's comment about me always thinking about money. I actually don't think about money all that much. I don't advise people to think about money all that much. Instead, I'm an advocate for thinking about the money.....so we don't have to think about the money. We address the needs and elephants in the room before life happens; then we can simply live and enjoy life.

This isn't about obsessing about money. Actually, the opposite. It's putting ourselves in a position that we never have to obsess about money. Think about it. The people who are locked in with their finances generally aren't constantly thinking, talking, or obsessing about money. Conversely, the people who don't take the reins on money are often the ones who are constantly thinking, talking, and obsessing about money.....for all the wrong reasons. It gets stressful. The pressure builds. They can cut the tension with a knife! When we don't think about money to some degree, we eventually land in a place where money is all we can think about.

I don't want you to think about money all the time. Heck, I don't even want you to think about it much at all. But in order to get there, we need to think about it and get it right now.....so you don't have to then.

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Threading the B-Dubs Needle

One of the recent developments of my physical health journey is the introduction of macro tracking into my diet. I've written multiple pieces about the importance of staging and stacking habits, and tracking macros is the most recent step in my own journey. I recently had an experience at Buffalo Wild Wings that shed light on a crazy dynamic in nutrition.

Picture this. We're on the back end of a long traveling lacrosse day. We haven't eaten much, and the boys are getting hangry. Someone suggests we hit a BWW establishment on the way home. I open my food-tracking app to see what good options might be for me. Ultimately, I chose a great option that isn't exactly what I would have normally ordered, but it would be tasty. Meanwhile, the family orders the bottomless apps special. Chips and queso, onion rings, mozzarella sticks....it keeps on coming.

I did a good job! By the time I walked out of there, I had limited myself to about 1,200 calories with good protein. Here's what struck me as interesting. Had I eaten what I normally would have, that would have easily exceeded 3,000 calories. More than my daily calorie needs, in one meal, without even trying!!! Wow, that's amazing!

Over the past few days, my eating has been so clean that it's actually been difficult to eat enough food to meet my targets. I eat, eat, and eat more, but since the food is so clean, it's hard to even eat enough.

What a weird dynamic. When we just eat whatever we want, we easily blow past what we should consume, and if we're eating well, it's hard to eat enough. That's a hard needle to thread!

I think much of life operates this way. Without even knowing it, our casual actions are sabotaging our journey right under our nose. One decision here, another decision there. They aren't big deals, we tell ourselves. Yet, these decisions are silently crippling us day by day. And similar to my little macro tracking experiment, tracking our behavior is a great way to catch these little hidden nuances.

When we give ourselves clarity, we collect information. When we collect information, we make better choices. When we make better choices, we unlock better outcomes. It's the circle of life. My best encouragement for you today is to give yourself some much-needed clarity. Get the information you can use. Make choices that push yourself forward. Unlock the outcomes you deserve.

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If Something Happens

I try not to bring it up to Sarah too often, but sometimes it's necessary. If something terrible happens to me, what are her next steps? This is a relevant topic in our household right now due to some potentially risky travel on my calendar this summer. We don't want to live scared, yet at the same time, we can't live naively.

If something happens to me, Sarah needs to be fully equipped with the information, skills, and game plan to enter that new season of life. Frankly, I hate working on this stuff. It gives me a queasy feeling every time I do. However, it's one of the ways I say "I love you" to Sarah and the boys. I owe it to them to be financially prepared for that outcome. They will already have enough hurt on their plates, so we can at least take the financial piece out of the equation.

Today, I want to share a few important components that I believe all families should work through as part of this process. You know, just in case.....

1. An archive of all online passwords. We use an encrypted password app.

2. Securing adequate life insurance coverage that will effectively replace the deceased spouse's income and allow the family to stay afloat. So many people are underinsured.

3. A list of dollar amounts and institution names for all financial assets (and debts). Checking, savings, investments, etc.

4. A repository of all key physical documents (car titles, property deeds, birth certificates, etc.). In our case, it's a safe deposit box at a bank.

5. A collection of other financial documents/policies, such as life insurance, home/auto insurance, disability insurance, wills, etc.

6. Instructions for how the surviving spouse should attack the situation if something were to happen. Having an established roadmap is a huge step. Here's an example from mine. Step 1: Call the life insurance company. Step 2: Deposit the life insurance proceeds *here*. Step 3: Start taking monthly withdrawals of $x from this pool of money to provide for the family.

7. Bring in a trusted friend or family member who will help the surviving spouse get this sorted. Our loved ones don't need to do it alone! I already notified my person and gave him a heads up.

8. Recommendations for companies that might be good resources to help walk alongside the family to manage some of these financial pieces.

These types of actions aren't the product of paranoia or fear, but rather responsibility and care. I won't be here forever, and while I hope I have many more decades on this planet, I want my family to be okay if it happens too soon. I love them so much.

There's no need to get all morbid about this, but it's worth discussing with your spouse. Make a plan, set it aside, live a meaningful life, and hope you don't have to use it for a long time.

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Blind Spots: Pet Edition

I love dogs. I grew up with a dog and never pass up an opportunity to pet a random dog on the street. If the boys keep asking hard enough, we might actually get one for our household soon, too.

Buddy, my childhood friend, showing off part of his Michael Jordan jersey collection.

In my 10+ years of coaching, though, I've realized that pets are one of the biggest financial blind spots for families. It never fails. When I'm going through the initial budget with a new client, and we get to the pet category, the answer is always some form of, "Oh, we spend almost nothing on pets. Probably just a $50 bag of food every few months."

That's when my eyes get really, really big. Pet expenses are secretly crushing people's finances from right under their noses. Yeah, that bag of dog food might only cost $50, but all the other things we don't think about cost hundreds.....or thousands. And the vet expenses!!!! Here's what a typical vet expense monthly rhythm looks like: $0, $0, $0, $0, oh crap! That "oh crap!" moment is where the wheels fall off, and where the math works against us. Pets get sick. Pets get hurt. Pets make poor choices.

I didn't want this piece to be merely anecdotal, so I dug into my client files to find some real-world data. I looked up 8 active clients who have 2+ years of pet data. Here's what it looks like (in order of my research discovery):

• $9,130 over 51 months = $179/month

• $5,860 over 21 months = $279/month

• $6,815 over 47 months = $145/month

• $5,850 over 45 months = $130/month

• $11,730 over 24 months = $489/month

• $15,744 over 24 months = $656/month

• $4,320 over 36 months = $120/month

• $16,482 over 41 months = $402/month

In total, these eight randomized clients had an average monthly pet spend of just over $260/month. I don't know about you, but that's a tad bit different than a $50 bag of food every other month. These families range anywhere from $120/month to $656/month, with unexpected vet bills being the key driver of how high this category can get.

Pets are also one of the main culprits of credit card debt, as there's a deeply emotional component to this. When faced with a life-or-death decision regarding our beloved pets, it's hard to emotionally look ourselves in the mirror and put a rational price tag on our go/no-go decision. Thus, we simply act now and sort it out later. This is having some pretty harsh consequences for families.

Again, this isn't an indictment of pets or pet ownership. Rather, this is my encouragement to make decisions with our eyes wide open. It's totally okay to financially prioritize pets, but we ought to understand what we're really getting into from a financial perspective. The same goes for other categories, too! Eyes wide open is always the best approach. That way, our cute little pets (and all the other choices we make) can truly be blessings in our lives, and not pain points.

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70-Year-Old Travis

A blog reader recently reached out with a thought-provoking question. It's in reference to my repeated insistence that I don't believe in the traditional American retirement. The question was quite lengthy, so I'll paraphrase it: "Do you really expect to be working at 70 years old? What does that even look like?"

It's difficult to project what my life might look like 25 years from now, but I'll share some thoughts on this topic. Interestingly, many blog readers are even better qualified to answer, as they are living this reality of pursuing meaningful work in their 70s as we speak. In any event, I'll start. What does work look like for 70-year-old Travis?

I don't suspect I'll be ripping out endless 10-hour days, but the work will probably resemble full-time. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. How I describe this to others is the idea of shifting. Sometimes we upshift, increasing the intensity. Sometimes we make a lateral shift, merely refocusing our energies. Sometimes we downshift, decreasing the intensity. I suspect work in my 70s will be some form of a downshift from my current rhythm.

• Slower mornings, allowing me to enjoy more coffee time with Sarah, get more reading in, and stay physically active.

• A less regimented schedule. The lines between work days and weekend days get a bit blurrier. A day is a day. Life becomes more fluid. I'll work more when I have more energy and more inspiration, and less when I have less.

• More frequent travel. 4 days here, a couple of weeks there. Much of my work is probably mobile.

In terms of what work I'll be doing, it's hard to say. I don't even know what type of work I'll be doing next year, never mind 2+ decades from now. However, if I had to guess, I suspect it will be a combination of a few things:

• Pouring into the next generation of leaders.

• Building or iterating whatever enterprise I'm called to engage in.

• Serving those who wish to be served, at whatever level they wish to be served.

• Creating content and resources that will remain on earth after I depart.

I'm tremendously curious about what that stage will look like, but I don't want to rush to get there. Life is amazing now. The kids are young, I have tons of energy, and my present work matters so much to me. That future will unfold in due time, and when it does, I hope I still have the same level of conviction about always pursuing meaning and work that matters. I think future me will have a blast navigating that journey.

If you're in your 70s and living some parallel life to future me, I'd love to hear from you. What's changed with your work life since your 40s or 50s?

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Parable of the Oat Milk

We have an oat milk problem at Northern Vessel. For the past four years, we've continually experienced these sharp little moments when we've simply run out of it (or nearly ran out). Considering this ingredient is the base of our most famous and best-selling drink (oat milk cold brew latte), running out of oat milk is a disastrous scenario. As recently as a month ago, TJ and I spent one Saturday afternoon driving to every single Target in the metro, hoping to scoop up as many oat milk cartons as possible. With a lot of time and a little luck, we barely scraped together enough to finish our batch of cold brew lattes.

As I continue to grow into my new role inventory management and vendor relationships, I realize that what we've done in the past is some version of white-knuckling. We see we're running low on product, factor in all the supply-and-demand variables we can think of, mathematically calculate how much end product we'll need, mathematically calculate how much oat milk that necessitates, place an order, and hope the delivery timing is in our favor. There are about 10 factors that go into these calculations, each allowing for the possibility of error, and many of which are contextual guesses. That doesn't even include the delivery timing implications.

In comes me. I have a different idea. A simpler idea. After all, simpler is better......always! Here's the new math:

1. How many cases of oat milk can we store at any given time? 56 (about 168 gallons worth). This is approximately three days' worth of need for us.

2. How many cases of oat milk do we have left today? At the end of each business day, someone counts how manycases we have remaining and reports it to our inventory management Slack channel. Let's say the answer is 20. We have 20 cases left.

3. How many cases are needed to restock us fully? 56 cases - 20 cases = 36 cases. 36 cases would fully stock us again.

4. By 9PM, we place our order for next-day delivery of 36 cases of oat milk. If we are perfect in our execution and our supplier is also perfect, there's 0% chance we ever run out again. If we forget to order or our supplier has an issue, this process still makes it very likely we never run out. No messy math, no brain damage, no forgotten factors.

Simple always wins! It's funny, as I received some pushback on these types of processes internally. Some say it's too simple, lacking the context of all the craziness happening around us. My response to these types of critiques: "Even more reason to keep it simple! We can't afford to let all the changing variables jeopardize our supply chain!"

This really isn't about oat milk. This is a parable for everything in our lives. Our gut instinct is to always make things more complicated, more complex, and more sophisticated. This is ironic, as simpler almost always beats complex. Simple allows us to keep our heads on straight, removes brain damage from all the mental math, and allows for repetition. It's one thing to get something right once, and an entirely other thing to need to repeat it over and over. Find a way to make your life simpler. Then, after executing, find another! Such a great way to approach this crazy life of ours.

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Define “Actually Enjoy Life”

I received split feedback about the recent post titled A Middle Finger to Our Future Selves. Specifically, it was about the following excerpt:

"...the idea that we don't know whether we'll even be alive when we're older, so we might as well "enjoy life" while we're young. And by "enjoy life," he meant spend, spend, spend. He hated the idea of saving, or heaven forbid, investing. If he had it, he was going to blow it on something fun."

One blog reader replied to this post and said the following: "Your friend is right you know. We should actually enjoy life while we're young and healthy."

I think this comment gets to the heart of a really important decision. How do we define "actually enjoy life"? The friend in my previous post, this blog reader, and countless others tend to define "actually enjoy life" as some combination of spending money on wants and not working. Those seem to be our two cultural measuring sticks of "actually enjoying life."

What if enjoying life is so much more than how much we can spend and how little we can work? I tend to look at life through the lens of meaning. Am I living my most meaningful life? If the answer is yes, then there's a strong probability that I'm "actually enjoying life." If the answer is no, then I may have some issues. But how much money I can spend on wants is not a real driver in that discussion.

This is why contentment is so important. If we define our enjoyment by how much money we can spend on wants, then our ability to enjoy life is essentially capped by our income and resources. If we have many resources, we can be happy. If we don't, we can't. That's a really depressing proposition. Fortunately, it's a lie.

Contentment, on the other hand, disconnects the two altogether. The people I know who are the most content live tremendously enjoyable lives despite having limited resources. They don't allow stuff and leisure to define happiness. This disconnect in definitions is also one of the reasons there are so many people unhappy, fantasizing about retirement, while others are still working in their 70s, happy as a clam. This group of positive and optimistic people aren't defining themselves by how much they can spend or how little they can work. They are merely soaking up every bit of meaning they can find in this life.

Yes, we should "actually enjoy life." Amen to that! However, I don't think it's as simple as deciding to spend as much money on wants as possible. Instead, I believe it comes from pursuing meaning each and every day. Meaning in our home life. Meaning in our work life. Meaning in our generosity. Meaning.....period. The rest will sort itself out.

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It’s Kinda Like a Blog

Over the past few months, Sarah and I have found random pieces of paper and notebooks scattered around the house containing notes from the kids. The notes are generally around 2-3 sentences each, detailing some part of their day. Many of them are dated.

When we asked the boys about them, they answered very matter-of-factly: "Those are our journals. It's kinda like a blog." Hmmm, where would they get the idea of writing blogs?!?! I'd by lying if I said I wasn't completely touched by this little detail. It's fun to know they see what I do, and in some ways, want to emulate it. Moral of the story: kids are always watching.

It gets more interesting. Without divulging full "blog posts," I'll share a few excerpts I've seen:

• "We played football after Dad got home."

• "Dad took us camping."

• "Dad came to our game."

In a journal entry that may only be 2-3 sentences, it's wild that my mere presence in their lives makes the short list of notable events in their day. Again, I was touched, and again, kids are always watching!

I'm on record of saying I don't care what my kids decide to do in life. I will support, celebrate, and encourage any path they feel called to pursue. However, in the meantime, it feels great knowing that they are watching, taking mental notes, and using what they see as launching points to try new things. I'm so proud of them for that, and it makes me even more convinced that setting these positive examples needs to be one of the most important things in my life right now.

Kids are always watching. Words to live by....in so many different ways. If that's true, and the kids are sincerely watching, please go live a life today that you're proud for them to witness. I will endeavor to do the same.

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Remembered For

One of my friends is nearing the end of his life. We've had some interesting conversations recently. As you can imagine, he's been quite introspective lately. He recently asked me a question that I've been thinking about: "What will I be remembered for?"

It's a fascinating question. In many ways, it's the culmination, aggregation, and consolidation of 70+ years of life. What will I be remembered for?

I'm a big believer in reverse engineering. We take the desired outcome and work backward to determine the steps needed today, tomorrow, and the next day to get there. For my friend, much of his cake is baked. The work is done, and now he's trying to discern how the cards are stacked. For many of us (hopefully), there's so much work yet to be done.

What do I want to be remembered for? I'm not going to answer that yet, as I want to give you time to ponder your own answer. But perhaps today is a great day to reflect on the implications of this question.

Here's an alternative way to look at this question. If you were to die today, how would you be remembered? Do you like your answer? If so, you might be on the right track. If not, it might be time for some major soul-searching. Again, I'll save my answer for later.

Here's one thing I know. I DO want to be remembered, and I DO want those memories to be of the positive and impactful variety. Today, I hope my decisions, words, and actions make that more likely, not less. I hope you do the same.

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A Middle Finger To Our Future Selves

I remember speaking to a colleague nearly 20 years ago. He was probably in his early 30s at the time, several years ahead of me in his career. While I wasn't necessarily the wisest steward with my financial resources back then, he and I shared many conversations that stopped me in my tracks. These conversations usually centered on the idea that we don't know whether we'll even be alive when we're older, so we might as well "enjoy life" while we're young. And by "enjoy life," he meant spend, spend, spend. He hated the idea of saving, or heaven forbid, investing. If he had it, he was going to blow it on something fun.

Fast forward 20 years, and I recently ran into him. He's now in his 50s, visibly older than when we last connected (as a few decades of life will do). This time, though, his attitude was different. He was asking me about retirement, investing ideas, and the worry about likely not having enough.

To his detriment, he lived out the principles he preached way back then. He spent, spent, and spent, giving little regard for his future self. In fact, I'd argue he gave his future self a hefty middle finger. It turns out, though, that one day, our present self becomes that future self. Today, he's the future self that younger him so blatantly disrespected.

He's scared....as he should be. His options are limited.....as expected. He feels trapped.....which is understandable. Now, his 50-something self is wondering how to navigate not only the present, but the future. He lived a lot of life in his younger days, but his current and future quality of life are very much in question.

This is a tough situation. I have so much empathy for people who face these realities. Unfortunately, I don't have a magic wand to wave for them. I can't undo their past mistakes. There's no magic pill or secret strategy to bridge decades of gaps.

No matter how old you are today, future you is depending on current you to make wise choices. Sacrificial choices. Loving choices. Be a good steward, not only with your finances, but with your body, relationships, children, marriage, and mental health. Future us is pleading for us to be better and do better. Their livelihood depends on it, and soon enough, that will be our present self. Be good to him/her.

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The “Dumbest” Person In the Room

There are a few people in my life who share a few similar traits:

1. They continually surround themselves with people they believe are smarter than they are.

2. They position themselves as the dumbest person in the room.

3. They ask countless questions, ridiculous or otherwise.

These are interesting people to me. There's a quiet confidence that comes from someone who intentionally surrounds themselves with rock stars. There's also a humility that comes from not having to say the smartest thing or act impressively. They are comfortable in their own skin, willing to ask any and all questions without fear of embarrassment.

All of these people share a fourth common trait. Want to know what it is? They are actually the smartest people in the room. Perhaps not by education, or pedigree, or title. Rather, they are the smartest people in the room by the sheer fact that they are willing to ask ALL the questions, surround themselves with rock stars, and absorb all context that comes their way. Through experience, curiosity, and a willingness to be humble, they've quietly ratcheted up the wisdom totem pole and now sit above most people. They are the "dumbest" people in the room, yet at the same time, are easily the smartest people in the room.

I love these types of people so much, and hope to one day be more like them. I have a lot of work to do, but over time, I'd like to work my way there. I'm probably better at this than I used to be, but when I see how some of these people approach life and people, I am humbly reminded of how much work I have to do.

Whatever you're doing today, I hope you're the "dumbest" person in the room. Soak it up. Enjoy the process. Absorb it like a sponge. That's how we get better, and in turn, make a larger impact.

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What Is a Memory Worth?

For the past 25 years, I promised myself that if I ever had a chance to attend a World Cup game, I would. Well, we are nearing the fulfillment of my wish and a referendum on my promise to myself. The World Cup is hitting the U.S. this summer, and one of the host cities is three hours from my house (and 30 minutes from my sister-in-law's). Will I do it? Will I follow through on the dream of younger me? We shall see.

Looking at the calendar, I have the opportunity to watch two teams I have no affinity for or allegiance toward. But it's the freaking World Cup!!!! The get-in price is currently $313 per person. That's the worst seat in the stadium.....for $313.

But what is a memory worth? No matter what happens or how the game goes, going to that game will be a lifelong memory. No question about that. Therefore, if this is something I'll remember for my entire life, is it worth at least $313? I think that's a resounding yes.

Will I actually do it? Only time will tell. Perhaps that's one of the reasons I'm writing this post: So hundreds of people will hold me accountable to my own principles!

I think it's an interesting idea, though. It's so easy to get hung up on prices for things that, on the surface, should cost far less than they do. We look at these prospective transactions and try to view them objectively. We put our logical caps on and attempt to do a little cost-benefit analysis in our heads. Ultimately, though, we sometimes have to throw out the normal playbook and understand we're talking about a lifelong memory. That, in my opinion, can trump the normal decision-making process.

What about you? What's something that might not make much sense on paper, but in the long run, you believe is a steal of a deal, no-brainer?

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The Power of Good Work

I don't know if this resonates with you, but there's something profoundly refreshing about a week of good, productive, and mentally grueling work. I'll be at the cattle ranch this week, and I'm ready for an onslaught of 12-hour days filled with challenges, wins, brain stumpers, and needle-moving accomplishments. That excites me so much!

Will this week be fun? Uhhhh, probably not. I'm sure there will be some fun moments, but this really isn't about fun. It's about making a difference, finding meaning, and adding value to others. That's what we so often get wrong about this idea of work that matters. "Work that matters" doesn't mean "fun" work, or "enjoyable" work, or "relaxing" work. It means that by doing the work, it fills something inside us that would otherwise remain empty.

Every time I talk about the importance of work in our lives, there's one particular argument that gets thrown at me. Someone tells me the story of their Uncle Joey, who, after working until the "old" age of 65, died a year after he retired. This story becomes Exhibit A for why Uncle Joey should have retired years earlier so that he could have actually "enjoyed life."

Someday, I'd like to conduct a study to possibly prove this argument, but I think the story of the Uncle Joeys of the world is backward. Passing away shortly after retirement isn't the consequence of tragic luck, but rather, the consequence of lost purpose. Work (the act of adding value to others) is vitally important to our journey. It's far more than a necessary evil. It's far more than a simple exchange of effort for money. Work checks a box deep within us that we don't always even know is there.

No, this won't be an easy week. No, it probably won't be a fun week. But man, I'm excited to be productive, serve my client well, and add value to a wonderful team that values my service. I'll never take that for granted. I hope you feel the same about what you're about to do.

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Two Families, Two Perspectives

I had a few interesting conversations last week that showcase an important concept. It's about two different families. Both families live in the same town. Both families have two kids under the age of 12.

Family 1:

• The husband has a monthly take-home income of approximately $10,000.

• The wife has a monthly take-home income of approximately $5,000

• The total monthly take-home income is about $15,000

This family endures constant financial stress. There's rarely anything left over. The credit cards often come out to play. Most purchases are made with debt. There's very little savings, and giving seems like a pipe dream. Marital tensions are running high. Their overall sentiment is that if they just made a little more money, all of this financial stress would go away.

Family 2:

• The husband has a monthly take-home income of approximately $5,000.

• The wife stays at home with their two small children.

• The total monthly take-home income is about $5,000.

This family's entire monthly income stream approximates the lower-income earner in Family 1. Their total take-home income is 1/3 of the other family's! Yet, they don't feel financial stress. No, there isn't a ton of extra each month, and they need to be diligent with the dollars they do have, but life is good! They consider themselves blessed, save for the future, and ensure giving is part of their monthly rhythm.

Would more money help? Yeah, it probably would. However, more isn't the answer. More isn't what defines our success. More isn't some magic pill that solves all of life's problems. This is a phenomenon I see over and over. Yes, more income can help, but 90% of our problems are the person staring back at us in the mirror, not the dollar amount on our paycheck. The sooner we realize this, the sooner we can take steps actually to improve our quality of life.

Final thought. Just imagine if we could do both. First, we get right with our relationship with money. We have a healthy mindset. We establish solid practices. We make the best use of every dollar we're blessed with.

Then, second, we find ways to increase our income along the way. We put in the work. We practice excellence. We pay our dues. We meet people's needs. We add value to the organization. When we do these things, additional income is a natural byproduct.

Combining these two ideas can literally revolutionize our lives. When we get right with money and put in the work, it's amazing what can happen!

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One Thing We Owe Them

During a recent group conversation, someone said something that surprised me. "My company doesn't pay me enough for me to give my best effort."

I tried not to let my eyeballs pop out of my skull, and assumed others were doing the same. Turns out, I was wrong. Instead, everyone else in the group affirmed this person's perspective. The general consensus was that if a company expects us to work hard, they should pay us more. What does "more" mean? Not sure, but it's more than whatever we're being paid today!

The last time I checked, employment is a two-way agreement. We agree to do our job, and in exchange, the company agrees to compensate us to whatever level agreed upon. Both parties have the freedom to exit the relationship, but there's an inherent understanding.

We don't owe our employers loyalty. We don't owe them our dignity. We don't owe them a boundaryless relationship. We don't owe them the right to abuse us. We don't owe them perpetual employment. But we DO owe them our best work. No matter what we're being paid, we owe the person or entity that pays us our best work in exchange for whatever compensation we've agreed on.

We might not like the compensation structure. That's fair....and valid. We have every right to pursue other opportunities. To go find an employer who will pay us more, treat us better, and/or offer a healthier culture. All of that is great, and I 100% encourage it. However, in the meantime, we still owe them that one thing: Our best work while we're being compensated.

I don't feel like this is a spicy take, but I could be surprised. Let me know. What do you think? Please hit "reply" to this e-mail or drop a comment on the webpage below. We don't owe them much, but I do believe we owe them that one thing. Let's be excellent! Let's honor these relationships.

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Taking It For Granted

A few days ago, I had a question about a project I was working on. It was a question better suited for a conversation than an e-mail or text. As such, I requested a quick meeting. Four hours later, the four of us jumped on a video call to hash through the issue. In 2026, we take for granted just how crazy this is. 25 years ago me would have thought it to be the most insane concept in the world.

One other wrinkle. All four of us were from four different countries in four different time zones. For some of us, it was night, and for others, morning. Again, we live in wild times! With a few clicks on a touch screen, people from all around the world are instantly connected....for free! Again, amazing!!

Yet, we take it for granted. In 2026, this is just called life. Even though I often take it for granted, too, I try to stop and recognize just how special these times are. Sure, modern times present many new, intense, and profound challenges. I never want to gloss over that. At the same time, though, never before have the opportunities been this rich, deep, and wide. We're literally a few clicks from every single person on the planet.

Think about a living person you'd most like to meet one day. Could be a celebrity, or an author, or an entertainer, or a politician, or an entrepreneur. Anyone. Think of that person. Now, think about the reality we're living in, where if you had the courage and gumption, you could essentially reach out to this person today. Send a DM, leave a comment on their post, write them a note, share a story with them, ask for a meeting. Everything is on the table.

I once had a youth group kid who obsessed over a particular music artist. One of the biggest names in the world. His songs were constantly on the radio. Millions of followers. This kid often talked about how he dreamed that one day he could meet this artist. "Why don't you just message him?" I asked. This young man looked at me like I had arms growing out of my ears. That idea was absurd! But I keep pushing him. "Do it!" "Just send the message!" "Quit being scared." "What's the worst that could happen!?!"

Tired of my prodding, he actually did it! About three days later, this massive celebrity responded to him with a thoughtful and contextual message, thanking this young man for listening and reaching out. They've periodically messaged back and forth over the years.

Everything is on the table. Nothing is impossible. That means something different for each of us, but please don't take our opportunities or technologies for granted. Everything is on the table, so we ought to act like it.

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Nothing Left Over

I had a wonderful chat with a young couple yesterday. They are an awesome young couple, but I'm biased. One of the spouses is a former youth group kid; I've known her since she was 15. Therefore, it's safe to say I'm tremendously honored to spend time with her now that she and her husband are living their full-on adult lives.

It was a similar conversation I've had with hundreds of couples. And just like every other time I have this chat, there's one part that stands out like a sore thumb: When I discuss the concept of having no income left over at the end of the month. If a couple starts the month with $4,000 of cash sitting in their checking account and has $7,000 of income coming in, they should end the month with $4,000 of cash sitting in their checking account. None of their income should be left over. All of it should be gone.

Here's why. We humans don't do well with "extra." Extra either gets squandered or hoarded, rarely an in-between. If there's extra, we'll impulsively spend it somewhere we didn't intend, or we'll squirrel it away for no specific purpose (which subconsciously incentivizes us to repeat and grow that behavior next time).

Here's how this could/should manifest itself in our monthly finances. Every dollar should have a home. We spend it, give it, or save it. If we get to the end of our budget and there's $500 left, we must go back up and find a place to spend it, give it, or save it. No dollar left behind!

I don't even care what people do with this extra money, so long as they are intentional about its destination. This one principle can revolutionize the way we perceive and handle money. Every bit of our income now has a purpose. Intentionality runs through our entire budget. The most important categories get love, not the most impulsive ones. This allows our personal values to shine through and become truly prioritized in our monthly finances. Things that should get funded actually get funded. Things that shouldn't, don't. It's simple. It's pure.

I started following this principle more than 20 years ago, and after teaching it to hundreds of families, I can positively testify that it's a real game-changer. Something to consider adding to your arsenal. Have an awesome day!

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Once You See It

I recently found out that one of my friends is taking her family abroad this summer. Not some fancy adventure to Europe, but a deeply cultural experience in a place most Americans will ever see. "This will change your kids' lives forever!" I exclaimed. She wholeheartedly agreed.

Something powerful happens when we see parts of the world that are extremely foreign to us. When we leave our little bubble and get a glimpse of the bigger picture, it has the potential to melt our minds. Everything we know and believe can be turned upside down in a matter of days.

I didn't have one of these experiences until my 30s, but when I did, it permanently shifted my life forever. It's one of the reasons my family lives in a one-bathroom house and drives aging vehicles. No matter how we live here in our bubble, we're rich. Period. There's no way around it. Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

People are hurting. People are sick. People are hungry. People are cold. People are hot. People are unsafe. Yet, here we are, whining that our house isn't big enough, our cars not new enough, our clothes not sylish enough, and our technology not fast enough.

Here's a thought that often crosses my mind. If I had the choice between improving my family's standard of living and helping hundreds (possibly thousands) of people attain a livable standard of living, which would I choose? It turns out, we have that choice every day of our lives. It's easy to think we don't actually make that choice, but not making a choice is still making a choice.

This isn't meant to elicit guilt. Guilt is a terrible master. Rather, this is my encouragement for each family to seek out new perspectives. Let's step out of our bubbles and truly see what's going on around us. Let's get uncomfortable. Let's challenge ourselves to open our eyes. Let's get an up-close view of how the rest of the world lives. Then, and only then, can we be in a position to make some of these difficult choices (without guilt!).

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Lessons From the Dodgeball Court

Do you remember playing dodgeball when you were a kid? I loved P.E. class dodgeball oh so much! I have vivid memories of epic competitions in my old, tiny elementary school gymnasium. The games were ruthless! I recently attended a father-kid event in which old-school dodgeball was heavily featured. Hours of ruthless, chaotic dodgeball!!! It was like jumping into a DeLorean and going back to my elementary school days.

I remember thinking this 35 years ago, but the idea sat clearer on my mind as adult me dove back into the art, science, and madness of dodgeball. You can tell a lot about a person by how they play dodgeball.

With dozens of people on the court, along with another dozen-plus balls whizzing around the room, dodgeball relies on the integrity of its participants to run smoothly. It's a game of inches, angles, and reflexes. Did that ball graze my shirt? Did it make contact with the ball in my hand, or my arm? Did it hit the ground before striking my foot? Did I make a clean catch, or did I trap it before it hit the ground?

During my recent game, I watched kid after kid after kid cheat their little brains out. They would take a 70mph fastball to the chest, then brush it off as if it missed them completely. Other people would get frustrated, tensions would rise, and then they would cheat again. As I watched this unfold, it spoke volumes to me about that person's character.

They were just kids, though! Cut them some slack! Just kids being kids. The little voice on my other shoulder encouraged me to give them grace. After all, my kids aren't perfect, either. I kept watching......

Since it was a father-kid event, dads and their kids often occupied the same space. The kid would float just behind his dad. Dad would feed balls to his son. That's when I noticed something else. The kids who were rampantly cheating had one thing in common. Their dads also had a proclivity to cheat. That's right! Grown men acting with the same lack of integrity. "That ball didn't hit me!" exclaimed one dad who got smoked in the hip.

You can tell a lot about someone by watching them play dodgeball. Character matters so much, even when there aren't refs present to blow their whistles. How we play this game of life matters. Conducting ourselves with high character and integrity is essential for a smooth society, healthy relationships, and living with meaning. And as the cherry on top, the next generation is watching. Every time we act, whether in public or in private, those around us see how we conduct ourselves.

I've always thought about these ideas, but as a father, I can't stop thinking about them. Most of society tells our children the best way to win is to bend the rules, find loopholes, or flat-out cheat. Every ounce of me wants to combat that in my own kids, and that starts with the guy I see in the mirror. We gotta do better; be better; model better. They're all watching.

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