An Actually Positive TikTok Challenge

Whenever the phrase "TikTok challenge" is mentioned, anything that comes next is going to be disgusting. Two cars crashing through our Northern Vessel shop doors is great evidence of that.

Today, however, I want to share an actually positive TikTok challenge with you. As I was scrolling through my feed recently, I stumbled upon an awesome little clip. A parent, on the backside of the camera, asked their child, in camera view, a simple question: "What did you get for Christmas last year?"

The kid had a deer-in-headlights look. You could see his little brain working overtime to process this question. After about five seconds, nothing. He couldn't think of a single gift he received last Christmas.

The parent then asked another question: "Where did we go on vacation this year?"

The boy's eyes lit up, and he quickly started listing off all the adventures they went on and memories they made. His little mouth couldn't keep up with his brain. It was almost like he was reliving those memories in real time.

Interesting, isn't it? I've now seen dozens of these videos pop up in my feed, each with similar results. Kid after kid after kid went blank when asked about receiving physical gifts, but then immediately lit up with excitement when asked about experiences and memories.

Experiences over things. This is one of the hallmark principles of living a meaningful life. There's certainly nothing wrong with stuff. We all have some stuff in our lives. Cool stuff. But the stuff isn't what will ultimately provide us with meaning. It's the experiences and memories that add a richness to life that's unparalleled. Yeah, the science proves this to be true. Over and over, science has proven this. However, I'm not asking you to even trust the science. Trust the faces of your kids. They will tell you everything you need to know.

Happy shopping!

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Gambling vs. Investing

I recently went on a tirade against sports gambling amongst a group of friends. I firmly believe that we will look back 20 years from now and realize that sports gambling took down an entire generation. It's literally crippling people. Not rare, random people who are far removed from us. I'm talking about our friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors. Behind closed doors, sports gambling is pilaging families of their resources all around us......perhaps even in your home.

Something happened immediately after this recent tirade, though. My friend essentially called me a hypocrite. Why? Not because I gamble.....I won't even put a penny into a slot machine. I'm a hypocrite because, in his words, I "talk so much about investing on my podcast and blog."

Everyone at the table agreed with him, too. Whoa. That's wild to me. I had to catch my breath after that one.

They explained that investing is 100% gambling. The same principles are at play, but I'm just gambling on companies instead of sports teams. In their minds, whenever we invest money into the stock market, we're gambling, and there's a very real chance we'll lose money.....just like when they throw money at the sports books.

What do the numbers say? First, sports betting. Based on available data, 94%-95% of sports bettors lose money. Remember when Uncle Johnny crushed that four-team parlay and did shirtless victory laps around the house? Yeah, that was a short-term win amongst a longer-term loss....he just conveniently failed to volunteer that little tidbit with you. The data shows that almost every single person will lose money over time. It's the rare 1 out of 20 people who can perpetually pull profits from their betting app.

Now, the stock market. In the 155 years of stock market existence (almost back to the Civil War), there has NEVER been a 15-year window when the stock market lost money. Never. In other words, over a span of 15+ years, 100% of investors who invested the right way would have turned a profit. To further add salt to the investing vs. gambling wound, the worst 30-year window in stock market history provided a 4.4x return. Yes, you would have quadrupled your money over the worst 30 years in U.S. history. That doesn't sound like gambling to me!

Is investing like gambling? They couldn't be more different. Gamblers are nearly guaranteed to lose money, while investors are historically guaranteed to make money. If that doesn't paint the picture, I don't know what will.

Seriously, though, if there's gambling happening in your house, I implore you to reconsider. I'm watching families and marriages melt before my eyes over this stuff. I'm witnessing households get further and further behind on their finances, at the mercy of gambling activity. I'm seeing cash get pushed into gambling apps instead of into 401(k) plans and IRAs. It will eventually catch up with people, and by the time that happens, it will be far too late to remedy it.

Investing (the right way!) has proven again and again to be a safe, reliable, and powerful part of every family's long-term journey. Please don't let that opportunity pass you by.

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I’ll Show You, But….

About a decade ago, a casual friend approached me and asked if I would help him and his wife "build wealth" so they could retire in their 40s and "finally enjoy life."

"I'll show you, but that's not the solution to your problem."

He hated his job, and his wife similarly hated hers. They were running the race and wanted it to end as quickly as possible. In their minds, having a ton of money and quitting work as soon as they could was the answer.

After much coaxing, I agreed to help them. I showed them the principles that would undoubtedly help them accomplish their financial goals. I knew it wasn't the answer they were looking for, but they wanted to learn the hard way.

Two years ago, they retired in their late forties. They had millions of dollars, and financially, they could afford it. However, as I warned them all those years earlier, the other side of the equation took hold. Without work or a replacement pursuit, they had no meaning or purpose. The life of leisure quickly grew boring, and the vigor for life started to wane. They began fighting more. Tensions arose. They felt like a boat without a rudder, randomly drifting in the sea. Despite having everything they thought they wanted, they were hurting.....more than ever.

They recently divorced. It's been a mess for everyone involved. After much soul-searching, both spouses went back to the workforce. This time, however, they are trying to approach it through the lens of finding some form of meaning or satisfaction in their day-to-day work. Despite the divorce, there's a scenario in which they could stay retired and make it work financially. But they've now realized that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Work does matter, after all.

I'm not glad they had to go through all this mess, but I'm grateful both of them seem to have landed in a spot where they've realized meaning doesn't come from leisure. Rather, meaning comes from meaning. Understanding that can change everything, and luckily for them, it is. I pray for them and wish them nothing but the best. It's a rough story to tell, and I'm thankful they allowed me to share it here today.

Life is messy no matter what. It's never going to be pain-free. Even the best-laid plans will surely cause tension and suffering. However, the pursuit of meaning in all that we do helps keep us grounded and content.

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Different Planets, or Not

Isn't it crazy how separated we are in today's culture? It almost feels like we live in factions, constantly droning on about how different we are from "those people." And the funny thing is that "those people" are our co-workers, neighbors, friends, and even family. Everything is so divisive. We've been conditioned to believe that the other side is dumb at best, evil at worst, and we should hate them for it.

It reminds me of a story from back in my commercial real estate investment days. I was in one of the Middle East countries, enjoying a meal with one of my clients. There were several people from each party at the dinner, and I had the privilege of sitting directly across from a man about my age.

This man did similar work as me, but we may have been from different planets. He was part of the royal family of that country. He was a billionaire, literally royalty. He lived in a compound. Every member of his family (he, his wife, and their three small children) had their own full-time, live-in helpers. Additionally, his family had three dedicated drivers who were at the ready 24 hours a day to take any of them wherever they wanted. Did I mention private chefs and live-in doctors? Rolls-Royces, Ferraris, Lamborghinis. His cars were professionally washed and waxed daily. When traveling abroad, private jets.....always private jets. He was a devout Muslim. He dressed in the customary all-white Middle Eastern garb. The Middle East and Europe was his playground; he had never lived in America. Arabic was his primary language.

We couldn't have been more different, yet at the same time, we had far more in common than we had differences. We both loved our family. We enjoyed being fathers. We loved sports. We saw the world through an entrepreneurial perspective. We cared about our faith. We wanted to make an impact in the world. Man to man. We just enjoyed our time together, learning about one another and bonding over a shared meal.

If I felt like that (and vice versa) about someone literally from a different world from me, why shouldn't I feel like that about the people around me who have different beliefs and perspectives? I'm flat-out tired of this narrative that we should hate anyone who doesn't vote for who we voted for, doesn't think xzy policy is the right approach, or doesn't share our faith.

There is nothing more zapping of meaning than a life that involves active hatred and disgust toward the people around us. You know how much energy and creativity we lose from active opposition? Too much!

I firmly believe that 40 years from now, there will be studies performed that show how mentally and emotionally unhealthy our world was "back in the 2020s." We'll point toward the divisiveness and shake our heads at how brutal that time in our culture was.

While none of us can wave a magic wand and change this culture we're living in, we can opt out of it. We can elect to live a different life. Instead of attacking differences, we can seek out similarities. Interaction by interaction, perhaps we can slowly bend the needle and help this culture get back on track. There's so much more meaning in that than the alternative.

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The $10 Fast-Food Burger

$10 for a fast-food burger?!?!

As I was on my way home from the cattle ranch last night, I knew I needed to stop somewhere for food. I had decision fatigue after a long week, so my brain wasn't working very well. Then, I saw it. There was a Hardee's approaching on my right. I hadn't been to Hardee's in more than a decade, so it seemed like a decent opportunity to break that sad streak.

"I'll have a Frisco burger. A double, please."

As I processed my payment and collected my receipt, it dawned on me that I had just purchased a fast-food burger for $10. $10? What in the world!

A few minutes later, I hopped back in my car with my overpriced fast-food burger. Probably not a wise decision on my part, but it was quick and it was food. Oh well, I can't win 'em all. Then, something changed. I opened the wrapper and took a bite. Whoa! For being a fast-food burger, that's one heck of a fast-food burger! It was delicious.

In a matter of 30 seconds, my posture shifted from "I just made a bad choice" to "Please, take my money, Hardee's."

It was a classic case of price vs. value. On the surface, the price seemed expensive. However, once I was able to rationally compare the price to the value, it felt fair.....more than fair.

For as often as I write about the importance of always comparing cost vs. value, I almost fell into the trap of judging something solely based on price. That delicious cheeseburger was a fantastic reminder to always keep this concept in perspective.

It's a small and silly example, but that cheeseburger is a great metaphor for our day-to-day lives. We come and go, making decision after decision. If we're not careful, we can easily make choices based on price, ignoring the value. I'm guilty of it, and I'm sure you are, too. So, this weekend, as you venture out into the world, always remember to weigh the value as you're making decisions; you'll thank yourself for doing so.

Oh yeah, and maybe swing into Hardee's for a Frisco burger!

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Less Is More

I've found myself gravitating toward the concepts of minimalism over the last few years. When I say I've been gravitating, I mean in spirit.....not in action. I can feel in my soul that my life would improve if I had less stuff, less clutter. I haven't put that feeling into motion just yet, but I've been sitting on this idea for months now.

Over time, I've found myself honing in on certain aspects of my life and drastically streamlining my behavior. Instead of wearing five different pairs of shoes, it's two (but primarily just my main pair of boots). Instead of wearing a number of different watches, it's just one. Instead of meandering through a vast wardrobe, I find myself (to Sarah's chagrin) wearing a handful of items over and over.

There's something evermore appealing about less. When we create a life of less, it feels like more. It's weird to say it that way, but this type of "more" is a byproduct of reducing decision fatigue and clutter. I have so many things going on in life that I wholeheartedly welcome simplification wherever I can find it. I need it. I crave it.

I've also found that I'm tremendously impacted by my environment. If I'm surrounded by a lot of chaos and clutter, I feel chaotic and cluttered. If I'm surrounded by peace and organization, I feel peaceful and organized.

I don't know how far down the minimalism rabbit hole I'll go, but I know going deeper down that road will only benefit me in the long run. I've known this for a while now, but for whatever reason, this feels like the right time to put one foot in front of the other. In some odd way, this feels like a missing link toward living a more meaningful and fulfilling life. I'll keep you apprised as it unfolds, but I thought it would be an interesting topic to put on your radar for consideration.

Can you relate to any of this? Does this resonate with you? I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on this topic.

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You Aren’t For Everyone…And That’s Okay

I'll never forget it. About a year ago, I met with a prospective coaching client who was interested in hiring me to help them with their finances. The consultation went fine, but the real fireworks happened the following week. I sent the couple an e-mail outlining pricing options. I had a lengthy waiting list, but if they are interested in proceeding, I'd be happy to add them to the queue.

The husband responded via e-mail: "Your pricing might be the biggest bunch of horses*** I've ever seen. There's no way I'd ever pay that. I'm surprised anyone does."

Turns out I wasn't for him....and that's okay. I wasn't offended. I didn't get upset. The truth is, I need some people to look at what I offer, what it costs, and to respond with disgust. After all, I already had a waiting list. If we're for everyone, we're actually for no one.

That's the beautiful part about business. We don't need everyone to value us, which is a good thing, because many won't. We can choose to get upset by that, or we can double down on our efforts to pour into those who do value us. There are an estimated 133 million households in the United States. Of that, I only need about 30 to value my coaching services.

Northern Vessel is the same way. I recently spoke with a fellow business owner. He pointed out that, in his opinion, we might be nearing the top end of our growth. He's nervous about our future and believes we've already saturated our exposure (in part because of our recent growth trajectory and in part because of our high prices). The truth? In a metro of 750,000 people, we serve approximately 3,000-4,000 different people each month. That's 1/2 of 1% of the population. Think about that! Having the privilege of serving 1 out of every 200 people in our city makes us an overwhelming success. Northern Vessel isn't for everyone....and that's okay. But when we look at it through a different lens, we realize the upside is practically unlimited.

The same applies to you. You aren't for everyone. Did you recently get rejected by a potential love interest? You weren't for them. Did you recently get turned down for a job? You weren't for them. Did you recently strike out in a pitch at work? You weren't for them. Did someone insult your business? You weren't for them. Did you get turned away by a prospective college? You weren't for them.

It's so easy to get bogged down by all the "no's" and forget about the "yes's." When we do that, we inadvertently focus more of our attention on the people who aren't for us than the people who are.

Whoever you are and whatever you're about to do today, you aren't for everyone. Some people will roll their eyes at you or disregard what you have to offer. It sucks, but you aren't for everyone.....and that's okay.

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Impact, Not Features

I was talking to a friend about her business. She has a unique business model and sells an even more unique product. On the surface, it's not really my jam. I'm not particularly interested in this field, and it doesn't resonate with me on any emotional level. However, my role wasn't to love her product, but rather to add value to her business in helping her see things more clearly. 

I asked her to explain the product. She began sharing about all the features and what a customer would get for the money. Interesting, indeed, but how much does it cost? When she told me the price, I immediately grimaced. Ouch, that feels expensive! I asked her to shift gears. Instead of telling me what a customer would get, I wanted her to explain how it would impact someone's life. Oh, now I was interested! She shared some really interesting perspectives about how a customer's life would improve because of this product. Then, she added, "And they will be able to use it for the rest of their lives." 

In that moment, her product's questionable price felt like the world's biggest bargain. You mean to tell me that for only $____, my life will be positively impacted in XYZ ways and it will be so for the rest of my life?!?!? Sold! Where do I sign up? I was hooked. In just five minutes, this went from a product I have no genuine interest in to one I NEED in my life. I’m completely enthralled by what she’s doing!

If you're a business owner, take note of this paradigm shift. However, I don't want to expound on this from a seller's perspective. Instead, I want to flip the script and focus on the buyer's experience. As consumers, we too often get bogged down by the features and benefits of a product. We look at the price and compare it to the features, then walk away. If we were wise, we would instead look at products and services through the lens of impact. 

How will this product or service impact my life? What difference will it make in my journey? How will it make my life easier? How will it make me more productive? How will it improve my health? How will it increase my longevity? What joy will it add to my day-to-day life? 

My experience is that when we look at prospective purchases through this lens, it completely transforms how we measure cost/benefit. What might have otherwise felt expensive can quickly become a bargain. Conversely, what might have otherwise felt cheap can quickly become a ripoff. 

I feel like most of my personal purchases fall into what culture would classify as "wasteful." However, each one is specifically curated to maximize the impact on my life. I don't buy much for myself, but when I do, the value it adds to my life far outweighs the cost.....even if the cost might seem higher. 

As consumers, we should focus far more on impact, and much less on features. If we can make that mental shift, we can begin playing an entirely different game. 

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This Is Life

Life isn't awesome because it's full of rainbows and sunshine. Life is awesome because it's awesome, warts and all. Social media is notorious for portraying everyone else's lives as perfect. The perfect marriage. The perfect kids. The perfect clothes. The perfect house. The perfect car. The perfect trips. It's all a facade, though. It's a curation of people's highlight reels. Underneath the mask of perfection is real life. Pain. Stress. Tension. Struggle. Loss. Brokenness. This is life. These things don't make life less awesome, but rather, they are what make life so awesome.

For the record, I'm not some masochist who revels in pain and suffering. Instead, what I see more times than not, is that pain is where the beauty comes from. Pain is oftentimes the trigger for some of the most powerful and profound moments of our lives. Having to endure the pain is what makes the sweet moments that much sweeter.

I've vaguely alluded to this story a few times in the past few months, but it wasn't my story to tell. Today, fortunately, I get to let them tell it themselves. Below is a short video that shares the story of one of my friends/clients. It's such a tragic story, yet is simultaneously the most beautiful story. I tear up even as I write this. If you only engage with one thing I post all month, please make it this powerful five-minute video.

I have no idea what the future holds for this family, but this tragic event will no doubt play a meaningful role in what happens next. I can already testify that much good has already come from this, and you get a glimpse of it in this video. This is life. It's full of joy, sorrow, love, pain, gratitude, suffering, and generosity. It doesn't make for a sexy and jealousy-worthy social media feed, but it's real; it's genuine. If I were a betting man, I’d bet my life savings that all four members of this family use this experience to make a positive impact on others, and probably change the world along the way. I’m humbled by their courage, perseverance, and positivity. They are better people than me, and I admire them so much.

Many of you are hurting today. Many of you are suffering in silence. Many of you are dealing with something that you have no idea how you'll get through. I'm so sorry. It's what makes life so hard, but at the same time, it's what makes life so beautiful. What you see on social media each day isn't real. This is real. This is life. You got this.

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Depends

Let's play a little trivia. In your opinion, which of the following people is the most successful?

• CEO of a medium-sized company

• High school teacher

• Owner of a well-known local company

• Barista at a coffee shop

• HVAC technician

• Stay-at-home mom

• Middle management in a corporate setting

• NFL player

Do you have a strong opinion on this? Which one is more successful? Or, if you need a little wiggle room, which few are the most successful?

Here's my answer: Depends. Absolutely nothing above gives me any sense of how successful or unsuccessful someone is. Rather, it just tells me what they do for a living.....and to some degree, how much money they make.

This tells me nothing about success, as I don't think success should be defined by status or income. Here's a question I'd ask each of these people: How do you feel about your upcoming day when you wake up in the morning?

• Are you dreading what you're about to do?

• Are you going to merely tolerate what you're about to do?

• Are you excited for what you're about to do?

The answer to that question tells me everything I need to know about how successful a person is. I know CEOs and small business owners who are failures, and I know teachers, baristas, servers, and blue-collar workers who are some of the most successful people I know.

When we wake up each day excited for what's about to happen - not because it's fun, but because it matters - we've already achieved a level of success that 90% of the world would die to have. That's success!

I feel so bad for people when they measure their own success (or the success of those around them) via money, stuff, and status. True success doesn't always look good, but it sure feels good. When we get to wake up and know that what we're about to do is tremendously meaningful, there's no amount of money, stuff, or status that could ever satiate us to that degree.

Outside of my children's faith, there's nothing more important to me as a father than to teach them this principle. I don't care if my kids go to college. I don't care if they make a lot of money. I don't care if they become "successful" in the eyes of the world. My biggest desire for them is that they wake up each day excited for what's about to happen. Not fun work, but meaningful work. Impactful work. Work that allows them to put their head on a pillow each night and know they gave this world all they had to offer today.

That's my definition of success. What's yours?

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Reverse Engineering Your Obituary

Several prominent people in my life have passed away in the past month. Some I knew well, and others I only knew from a distance. Regardless of my proximity to them, though, they influenced my life in some way. It was a bit surreal reading the obituaries of these folks. It's a weird text to read about people we assume will always be with us. It's a stark reminder of how the end of our lives will be here soon enough.

What will your obituary say? What do you want your obituary to say? I've thought about this topic far too much over the years. Wanna hear about a morbid (yet cool) idea? Try writing your own obituary. Seriously. Someone once asked me to perform this gory task. Write my own obituary as if I'm dead. I found this exercise to be cathartic, but productive. It forced me to really think about how I want to be remembered when I'm gone.

Reading our own obituary is like skipping to the last page of a good book. You see how the story ends, but you don't know how the character got there. And if our obituary is the last page of the story, today is the first page; everything in between is yet to be written.

Here's what struck me about this exercise. If I know what the last page of the story says and what the first page says, I get to be the author of everything in between. The only way to properly author the rest of the story is to reverse engineer the ending. If we're serious about the words we wrote in our obituary, we need to work our way backwards to ensure we get to that place between now and our last breath.

If we want to be known as a loving person, we ought to do loving things.

If we want to be known as a generous person, we ought to be generous.

If we want to be known as great parents, we ought to do things that make us great parents.

I have so much more to say about this topic, including possibly sharing my obituary. But today, I want to leave space for this idea to breathe and allow people to ponder this in their own lives. To be continued.....

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The Cost of Being Human

I received dozens of messages on the heels of my recent credit card article. In the post, I highlighted how 46% of credit card holders (approximately 100 million people in America) don't pay off their balance every month. In other words, nearly half of the people who use credit cards carry debt due to the use of said credit cards. This is a pretty shocking statistic considering every single person who uses a credit card claims they never carry a balance.

I have to admit, though, that if 46% of people carry a credit card balance, it means that 54% of people don't carry a credit card balance. If you live in this camp, chances are you're more than happy to throw that fact in my face right about now. I've written about this topic before and podcasted extensively about it, but there's a sneaky little behavioral science quirk that plays a bigger role in our lives than we'd like to admit.

Even if we never pay a single penny of interest or carry a balance from month to month, we're still subject to the psychological consequences of disconnecting the purchase from the payment. When we buy something today that we don't actually pay for until upwards of a month from now, it impairs our decision-making. This is a scientifically proven concept. In fact, studies have shown that we spend 10%-30% more when using a credit card than we would have if we used cash. Further, we're more apt to make purchases that we wouldn't have made at all. Ouch!

Here's an interesting note I received from a blog reader who has successfully managed to use a credit card for many decades without carrying a balance or accruing any interest:

"I always thought I was using our one credit card responsibly because we paid it off every month. That is, until my wise daughter suggested I look at my list of credit card purchases and see how many I would have made if I had to pay cash for them. I realized I made a lot more impulsive purchases when I use a credit card, even though I never carry over a balance from month to month."

This. This right here. She's so, so right. I applaud her humility and vulnerability in this statement. You know how I know it's true? She's human, and we humans have this psychological quirk. That doesn't mean we're dumb or irresponsible......we're human. It doesn't mean we're being reckless or foolish.....we're human.

I'm not mad at people for using credit cards. I don't look down upon them. Yes, people can still be successful when using them. At the same time, my mission here is to open people's eyes to the unseen costs and hidden psychological forces of utilizing this little piece of plastic technology. Nothing is free, as they say.

I, for one, will continue to live a life free from the behavioral and financial consequences of credit cards, and I'd encourage you to do the same. Either way, press on and have a great weekend!

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Three Years?!?!

This blog turns three years old today. Three years!?!? It's hard to believe I've posted for nearly 1,100 consecutive days. That first post was sent to a handful of people, and three years later, we have nearly 1,000 daily readers.

As I reflect on the journey, I thought it would be fun to answer some of the most common questions I receive about The Daily Meaning:

"Do you ever run out of ideas?"

• No. In fact, the longer I've done this, the more ideas I come up with. At any given point in time, I'm bouncing around 5-10 different writing ideas in my brain.

"Are there ever days you don't want to write?"

• Occasionally, which usually strike when I'm tired or stressed. Even when I don't have the mojo to write, it feels therapeutic to think through an idea and get it onto paper.

"Why do you spend so much time doing something that drives zero revenue?"

• This is one of the biggest blessings of my life, for a few reasons. First, it has opened the door to so many new and fun relationships. I cherish every interaction I have with readers, and some of those interactions have blossomed into friendships. Second, serving people and adding value to their lives is compensation in and of itself. We are called to serve others, and this is one of the ways I'm honored to serve. Third, it's a true joy to practice the art of writing.

"How long do you plan to keep writing daily?"

• As long as I'm mentally and physically able. Sincerely, it's such a blessing in my life.

"Are you ever going to write about other topics, like politics and current events?"

• People don't follow me for political commentary. That's not where my trust has been earned. As much fun as it would be to spout off on all sorts of random topics, I believe I can add the most value to people's lives by sticking to the intersection of work, money, and meaning.

"Do you think I should start my own blog?"

• Heck yeah! It will rock your world and change you from the inside out. This doesn't apply just to blogs, either. Start that podcast. Write that book. Record that song. Paint that canvas. Just create......and ship it to the world. It will add a richness unlike anything you can fathom.

"What's your end goal?"

• I want to make an impact on this world, both while I'm here and long after I'm gone. If this blog can serve as one avenue to make a difference, awesome! If even just one person is positively impacted by any given day's post, it was a win!

"Knowing what you now know, what would you do differently if you had a chance?"

• I would have started earlier. If I could wave my magic wand and get a do-over, I would have started this daily blog 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, or 20 years earlier. I so badly wish I could go back and read about how 24-year-old Travis perceived the world.

"I don't have ideas like you do."

• Yes, you do, you just don't realize it yet. Life is nothing but ideas, inspiration, and content. Once you decide you're here to create, you'll find inspiration in everything.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and engage with me these past three years. I never take that for granted, and I hope to continue earning the opportunity to add value to your life in the years to come!

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Running Out of Excuses

Twenty years ago, it seemed like the entire world was a barrier to entry. Lines of communication were closed (or unknown), information was locked (or expensive), and tools were available to only those with particular access.

Today, however, the world looks different. We can pull a device out of our pocket and have immediate access to almost every person on the planet, some of the best information in the world is free, and tools are abundant.

In just the past 24 hours, here's what I was able to do at zero cost:

• Reached out to a major celebrity via IG to ask for a moment of their time.

• Watched a YouTube video about how to fix something on my car.

• Downloaded and played an audiobook for my kids at bedtime.

• Found a free Excel tool that will help me solve a fairly complex problem I'm helping a client battle.

• Received some tax insights from ChatGPT ahead of a conversation I'll be having with my accountant.

We're running out of excuses. The barriers to entry are shrinking. The cost of doing business is eroding. The gatekeepers are dying. The communication gaps are closing. "I don't know how to do that" is an excuse that carries far less water than it used to.

I'm watching creative and motivated people all around me build meaningful and sustainable businesses with little to no cost. They simply have no excuses.....and they don't want any.

I don't come from the YouTube generation, but I learned a valuable lesson from my business partner, Cole, a few years ago while we officed together. Every time he got stumped, he simply opened YouTube and searched his question. Within five seconds, he was watching a video that addressed his exact question. Equipment issue? YouTube. QuickBooks confusion? YouTube. Marketing predicament? YouTube. A lack of communication skills? YouTube. He was a kid with big dreams, and YouTube was his playground.

We're running out of excuses. Part of me hates this, as it gives me nowhere to hide. If I'm perpetually stuck on something, that's on me. Everything I need to succeed in xyz area of my life/business is at my fingertips for little to no cost. I kinda liked it better when I could just make an excuse for not doing something. Today, though, it's put up or shut up. The days of excuses are passing us by.

Despite part of me hating this, the other part of me looks at this and says to myself, "There's nothing that can stop us!" If that's true, what are we waiting for?!?! We're running out of excuses, so we might as well get creative and put our foot on the gas.

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Small Gifts, Huge Punch

I was blessed with a massively thoughtful gift yesterday. It's the kind of gift that blindsides you and may seem small on the surface, but it packs a punch. It's one of those gifts that remind us how intentionality, creativity, and thoughtfulness carry far more weight than dollars ever could.

To set the table, two nights ago I received an out-of-the-blue text from a friend: "I just left something for you at {your office}. Enjoy." Oh, interesting. I'm excited to see what this is!

The following morning, upon walking into the office, I was handed a little box. Inside was a beautiful note affixed to a unique little surprise. It wasn't necessarily an expensive surprise. It wasn't acquired through privilege, status, or wealth. It was assembled purely out of thoughtfulness and creativity. Ah, the best kind of gifts!

I texted her my deepest gratitude, to which she responded with something that stabbed me right in the heart (if that saying can be used in a positive tone):

"You are very welcome. You have blessed me in so many profound ways that you are probably not even aware of. My life is significantly better because of some fundamental things I've learned from you over the years. It brings me immense joy to have been presented with an opportunity to do something unexpected for you."

Just her text meant more to me than anyone will ever understand. It knocked me right off my feet. All I want to do is be generous to others. I rarely know the impact, if any, I'm having along the way. So when I receive something like this, it's like hooking an IV directly to my soul.

Small gifts, huge punch. Between her texts and thoughtful gift, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I think that's the opportunity each of us has every morning when we get out of bed and step into the world. The only thing standing between us and world-changing impact is a little intentionality, creativity, and thoughtfulness. It doesn't have to break the bank. It doesn't require us to possess a certain status. It's not reserved for the wealthy.

No matter who you are, where you are, or what you are, you already possess the tools to alter this world for good, one interaction at a time. That's the most encouraging thought I'll share all week, but at the same time, it's also the scariest; what a responsibility! Seize yours today.

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What Am I Missing?

Sarah and I have been creating, following, and tracking monthly budgets since we got married. Given we've been married for 15 years, that means we've done this 180 times now!

I'll die on the hill that BOTH spouses need to be involved in the budgeting process. However, that doesn't mean both spouses need to create and track it. Oftentimes, one spouse will be more inclined (interest-wise or skill-wise) to do the heavy lifting. In the case of my household, I married someone who is allergic to numbers. Therefore, in order to protect Sarah's health, I take the lead on all things numbers-related.

With that said, this doesn't give her an out from dealing with the finances. Rather, it just means she plays a different role. When it comes time to create our monthly budget, I never dictate it to her. It's never, "Hey Sarah, here's our budget for the month." That would be a terrible way to do it (though it's how most marriages work, unfortunately).

Instead, I always create the first draft of the budget and give it to her for feedback. Early in our marriage, I'd ask her, "How does this look?" This type of question typically led to a natural answer: "Good." Shoot, that's not what I needed!

Then, I quickly realized I needed to take a different approach. For the last 14+ years, I've asked a different question: "What am I missing?" Sarah loves telling me what I missed! Thus, I get lots of feedback from her. She's getting her hair done, we have family member birthdays, turns out the kids keep growing and need new clothes, what about that appliance we agreed to buy a few weeks ago?!? A simple question with a handful of responses can turn a good budget into a great one. We don't always have a great budget, but more often than not we do.

Just a slight tweak in our framing can change the entire dynamic of the conversation. Sarah will never claim to be interested in finances or strong with numbers, but she's been a great partner in our effort to create, follow, and track our monthly budgets. It hasn't been perfect, but it's been good. And oftentimes, good is the gateway to unlocking our hopes, dreams, aspirations, and callings.

I can't stress enough how powerful budgeting can be in a marriage. Powerful for the relationship, powerful for the finances, and powerful for the journey. After doing this for 15 years together, I can confidently testify that we would be nowhere near where we are today without these practices.

What about you? Is it time to get your spouse involved? If your spouse is the one already doing it all, perhaps it's time for you to get involved? Marriage is meant to be a team, finances included. Please allow money to be a unifying force in your marriage, not a source of tension as is often the case. You deserve better!

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No Room For Hypocrisy

One of our longtime readers posed an interesting question to me after my recent rant about credit cards. I'll paraphrase her thoughtful question. How can I be so disciplined with budgeting but can't be so with a credit card? In other words, what's preventing me from properly handling credit cards like I handle all the other areas of personal finance?

In short, I have a one-word answer for this: hypocrisy. Hypocrisy prevents me from using credit cards. If I'm publicly and privately criticizing the use of credit cards, warning of the risks, in what world would it make sense for me to use one myself?

Approximately 15 years ago, Sarah and I were at dinner together. When the bill arrived at our table, I whipped out my credit card and slid it into the little black folio. As the waitress walked away with my card, Sarah looked at me and said, "You know you're the world's biggest hypocrite, right?"

Uhhhhhhhh, what?!?! "You tell everyone they shouldn't use a credit card, and here you are using a credit card."

Pot, meet kettle. Ouch. I could use a credit card because I understood the perils, pitfalls, and behavioral science implications. Yet, at the same time, my actions only proved that I was a hypocrite. The moment we got home, I pulled out a pair of scissors and cut up the card. Sarah was right, I was a giant hypocrite. Never again, though. I have no room in my life for hypocrisy, and if I believe in what I teach, I should eat my own cooking.

Can people use credit cards responsibly? Yeah, some can; very few can. A rare minority can. It reminds me of the famous Jeff Goldblum quote from Jurassic Park: "Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."

Could vs. should is an interesting topic to think about. There are a lot of things I CAN do, but it doesn't mean I SHOULD do them. If we want to hold people to higher standards, we need to hold ourselves to a higher standard. This has become one of the biggest principles in my coaching. I will NEVER ask someone to do something that I'm not already doing in my own life. When I teach people how to invest, it's exactly how I invest. When I help people get life insurance, it's the exact principle I follow. When I show people how to give, it's exactly how I practice giving. When I teach people how to prepare for their children's college, it's exactly how I think through my own children's education.

I never tell people what to think, but I teach them how to think. Regardless of each family's individual values, beliefs, and aspirations, these concepts and principles allow them to implement wise and thoughtful decisions in their own lives. That begins with building trust, and trust is built on a lack of hypocrisy.

Just because we can, it doesn't mean we should. This applies to so many areas of life, so today I'll let you extrapolate it to wherever it needs to be implemented in your life. Have an awesome day!

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Midlife Crisis: Year 2

Today is a sad day in the Shelton household. Today is the day when my 350Z (aka my midlife crisis, as my friend Emma calls it) gets stored away for the winter. This was my second full season owning this car, and it was a fun one! I've written about this car a handful of times, but here’s my original post about buying this car after a 17-year wait.

I thought it would be fun to take stock of my experience so far. As I often write about, it's not about spending less, but spending better. In the case of buying a fun car, it's certainly not "spending less." However, does it fall into the category of "spending better?" The best way to do that is to assess the value it adds to my life and contrast it with the cost.

First, the value. It's safe to say that owning a fun little stick-shift convertible has added a tremendous amount of richness to my life. I love using this car as my daily commuter for about half the year. Road trips are a blast. Going on little crank-up-the-music around-town cruises with the boys is an amazing experience. I so much enjoy having this car in my life.

Now, the cost. This is always the wild card, and one area where most people will self-sabotage. When it comes to fun things we WANT, never underestimate our human ability to squint at the cost and justify anything (even the most insanely destructive decisions).

I paid $9,000 for this car. It was 18 years old with approximately 70,000 miles on it. Fantastic deal! However, there are lots of other costs to operate a vehicle. Here's a full breakdown of my first two years of costs:

• Sales Tax: $450

• Tags: $250

• Tows: $220

• Repairs & Maintenance: $3,079

• Insurance: $1,584

• Winter Storage: $1,000

This means my total operating costs over my first 24 months were $6,583 (or $274/month).

Lastly, we need to take depreciation into consideration. Every time drive our vehicles, we're eroding the value. We can generally assume we'll lose 15% of a vehicle's value each year. I had two things going in my favor when I purchased this car. I was buying a used car that had already experienced significant depreciation ($9,000 purchase price on a car that originally sold for $30,000+). I also bought it at a great price. The $9,000 price felt a little light compared to what I thought I would need to pay.

Today, Kelly Blue Book says the estimated private party value of my car is approximately $8,800, meaning I've lost approximately $200 of value from my original purchase price.

Let's put the two pieces together:

• 24 months of operating costs: $6,583

• 24 months of depreciation: $200

• Total 24-month cost of ownership: $6,783 ($283/month)

So, I'll ask myself that question again. Was it worth it? So much richness added to our lives, and it costs us $283/month for the privilege. Yeah, this might be the greatest bargain of my lifetime. It's not about spending less, but spending better. Turns out, this is one version of my better.

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The Oz Next Door

Oh man, I took some HEAT heat after yesterday's post. Yes, some productive feedback, for sure. But the heat was hot. One particular criticism caught my eye:

"You throw around all these statistics, but there's literally not one person in my life who is struggling with credit card debt."

I'm sure you've seen The Wizard of Oz; it's a classic! My favorite scene in the movie is after 93 minutes of being made to believe Oz is so great and powerful, the curtain is pulled back to expose him as a fraud. It turns out he used smoke and mirrors to portray himself as this great and powerful wizard, when the truth was he was a frail old man.

This might come as a shock to some, but you probably have an Oz living next door to you. You probably have an Oz in the cubicle next to you at work. You probably have an Oz in your family. That fancy-looking couple at church? Possibly an Oz. The "rich" person you tend to get jealous of? Possibly an Oz.

In my work, I have the privilege of seeing behind the curtain of hundreds of households. The world sees what it sees, and in many cases, they see a great and powerful wizard. Unfortunately, what's really behind the curtain is a proverbial frail old man.

What appears to be wealth is really debt.

What appears to be freedom is really slavery.

What appears to be success is really destruction.

What appears to be wisdom is really tomfoolery.

What appears to be sturdy is really fragile.

I could tell you story after story after story of wealthy-looking people who appear to be the definition of success, but are on the brink of utter destruction.

I've witnessed so many tears from people who make $500,000+ per year, live in mansions, drive luxury vehicles, have a social media timeline full of exotic travel pictures, and have status in their community.

In many of these cases, credit cards aren't what directly propelled them into a financial spiral. Their car loans, lifestyle creep, and hefty mortgages did the initial damage. However, almost every one of these situations eventually results in brutal credit card debt. The credit cards become the symptoms of destruction, and the boat anchor that prevents the ship from ever floating again. They can always sell a car or a house, but there are only two ways out of credit card debt: grind it out or file for bankruptcy. It's the silent killer that's draining the hopes and dreams of an entire generation.

You absolutely know dozens of people who are deeply impacted by credit card debt; you just don't know which ones. They are hiding behind their curtains, hoping to maintain their appearance of being a great and powerful wizard.

Moral of the story: Never be jealous of the people around us. They might be an Oz. Instead, live with a posture of contentment and humility, pursue meaning, and never allow the desire for more to pollute your peace.

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Just Pay It Off Each Month, They Say

Credit cards are our best friends... until they become our worst enemies. Unfortunately, we never know when that tipping point will come. One minute we're fine, and next our financial life is ruined. I've been on a crusade against credit cards for nearly 15 years, and there's no better topic to stir up the hate train than to discuss my disdain for them.

First, no, I don't use a credit card. I used one from age 18 to 30. Then, after much research about the cold, hard data, the predatory nature of the product, and the behavioral science implications, I drew a line in the sand and decided to permanently ban them from my life.

A quick FAQ:

• What do you use if you don't have a credit card? We use debit cards.

• What about the risk of your card getting stolen? Our cards have been stolen multiple times. It's annoying, but you aren't liable for loss.

• What about travel? You NEED a credit card for travel. I've traveled to more than 30 countries with only a debit card. It works great.

• Don't you need a credit card to book a hotel room? No.

• Don't you need a credit card to rent a car? Some companies, yes; other companies, no.

• You use your debit card for online shopping?!?! Haha, yes. Every single day of my life.

• Don't you want to build credit? No. I haven't had a credit score since 2015.

Here's one of the primary arguments FOR using a credit card (primarily to collect those sweet, sweet points): "Just put everything on a credit card and pay it off every month. Just be responsible!"

The truth is, that's not what people do. In theory, yes, that's a great idea. However, in practice, the data shows something much different. My coaching experience already tells me this is true, but data recently released by the Federal Reserve paints a clearer picture.

• There are currently an estimated 268 million adults living in the United States.

• 81% of those adults, or 217 million people, own a credit card.

• Of the people who own a credit card, 46% (100 million people) carry a balance each month.

"Just put everything on a credit card and pay it off every month. Just be responsible!"

This principle works really, really well......until it doesn't. And today, unfortunately, 100 million adults in the U.S. are (secretly) living in the "until it doesn't" reality. This is ripping families and lives apart!

"Well, it must be the young, irresponsible people who are being stupid with their credit cards."

• The demographic most affected by carrying credit card balances is 45-59-year-olds, with 54% of cardholders carrying a balance from month to month. "Only" 44% of 18-29-year-olds carry a balance.

"Well, if people made more money, they would pay off their credit cards instead of carrying a balance."

• Even in households earning $100,000 or more per year, 38% of cardholders carry a balance from month to month.

Credit cards aren't a math problem; they are a human problem. Credit cards aren't a responsibility problem; they are a psychological problem.

Something to think about today.

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