10 Months For the Rest of Your Life

Imagine this. You're 27 and newly married. Up until now, your entire adult life has been somewhat shadowed by the consumer debt hanging above you: student loans and vehicles. It hasn't felt crippling, but it's an ever-present elephant in the room. Things are going fairly well, but there's a constant suspicion that this whole life thing would be much simpler (and better!) without the debt hovering and constantly absorbing a chunk of your monthly cashflow.

One more detail. With focus and intentionality, this debt could be 100% paid off by the end of this year. In a matter of months, you could forever free yourself from the financial burden you've spent your entire adult life living with. Paying off this debt will be simple, but difficult. It will take discipline, persistence, and sacrifice, but it's very doable.

One of my clients is living in this exact reality. Here's how I recently framed this opportunity to them: "It's 10 months for the rest of your life!"

10 months from now, at the ripe old age of 28, they could put themselves in a position to never again have to deal with the debt. Student loans and car debt gone.....forever! It's a line in the sand moment that will forever be cemented in their story.

Should they do it? Would you do it if you were in their shoes? Speaking as someone who has been in their shoes, and walked alongside dozens of families in similar shoes, I can wholeheartedly testify that it's worth it in every single way. I'm 14 years past the moment Sarah and I paid off ours, and life has never been the same since. It literally changed everything for us.

I think they are going to do it—10 months for the rest of their lives. It won't be easy, but it will be something they will never forget. If you're in a similar situation, I'd give you the same exuberant encouragement I gave them. Run the race, enjoy the fruits: margin, peace, confidence, discipline, and freedom. It's a priceless reward for a job well done.

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Money Can’t Buy Happiness, But….

There are two groups of people in the world. The first, which is the vast majority, believes that money 100% buys happiness. The second, a small minority, believes money cannot, in any shape or form, buy happiness. What's the truth? Both are right and both are wrong, kinda.

Over and over again, the studies have shown that money largely cannot make us happy. HOWEVER, there's one caveat to this that needs attention. Money can't make us happy after our basic needs are met (plus a little bit more for wants). Before our needs are met, though, is a different story.

Think of it this way. It's the 20th of the month. Rent is due in 10 days. You have $500 in your bank account, but you somehow need at least $1,500 in there by the first. It doesn't take Captain Obvious to know that another $1,000-$2,000 of income is going to make you significantly happier. Perhaps "happy" is the wrong word here. The weight of not having our basic needs met is tremendous. It's like putting a heavy weight on your chest. It hurts, but the cumulative effect of it sitting there, compressing down on your chest, making it harder and harder to breathe, is what makes it feel even scarier. That's what life can feel like in the absence of having our basic needs met. Some call it the four walls: housing, food, transportation, and clothing.

If you regularly read this blog, in some form of life stage where your needs aren’t being met, and you scoff when you hear me say that money can't buy happiness, know that I'm thinking about you, too. Sure, once our basic needs are met, money isn't going to make you all that much happier. I'll die on that hill. However, whatever financial upside you need to get your basic needs met will absolutely increase your quality of life, reduce mind-boggling stress, and improve your well-being. There's no doubt about that!

If this resonates with you, know you're not alone! One step at a time. Find ways to increase your income. Find ways to reduce housing and transportation costs. Ask for help, and leverage that help to get a better footing. Get intentional. Know this is a season; a hard season, but a season, nonetheless.

Wherever you're at on this financial journey, just know it's not the final chapter. It's just the latest chapter, and the best is yet to come. Embrace the journey and continue to point your eyes (and your decisions) to a better tomorrow. You got this!

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A Life You Don’t Want to Retire From

I had a difficult message to communicate. One of my clients, due to their own procrastination and other financial decisions, had put themselves in a tough spot regarding retirement investing. Translation: There's almost zero chance they will be able to retire at the (early) age they want to. They can still absolutely get this retirement thing right (eventually), but probably not in the timeframe they dreamed about.

I, being anti-retirement by nature, communicated a different message. "Create a life you don't want to retire from." That's it. That's the message. Do you know how much we all screw up our lives in the pursuit of this 20th-century man-made concept of "retirement"? Step by step, we optimize our finances to (hopefully) retire as soon as we can, and every time we optimize, we impair our life just a bit more, ratcheting up our internal desire to race to this finish line called retirement. In other words, the more steps we take in our careers and financial lives to race to retirement, the greater the demand for retirement grows.

My solution is simple, albeit countercultural: Create a life you don't want to retire from. If we wake up every day excited for what we're about to do, we would never have any reason to leave it. Sure, that might shift over time as our skills, endurance, and interests evolve. However, that's the entire point of this exercise. We have to continually look at ourselves in the mirror and decide if the life we're living is a life we want to retire from. If so, then we need to make a shift. What needs to change in order for me to again feel like I'm living a life I never want to retire from?

I like how I framed this concept in my pinned Tweet: "Early retirement isn't a dream. It's the consolation prize for not having a dream." Someday, I'll probably retire. It will likely correspond to health-related limitations beyond my control. My prayer is that it doesn't come until my 80s. Until then, my continual pursuit will be to create (and recreate) a life that I never want to retire from.

I know this is a controversial perspective, but perhaps it will give you something to ponder this week. Cheers!

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Managing the Puzzle Pieces

A few days ago, Sarah and the boys came home from a shopping trip. They went to the store to pick up a fun item that, in my opinion, would cost around $25. However, when they came home, they immediately said it had cost $110 instead. Whoa. That's a big delta between expectation and reality.

Sarah must have picked up on my lack of a good poker face. Translation: I had the look of disgust on my face. That wasn't my intention, but the cat was out of the bag. She immediately began throwing out next steps:

• Take it back.

• Subsidize this unnecessary purchase with her own personal spending money.

• Make the kids save up and pay for a portion of it.

I quickly refused all of these options. Instead, I said we should keep this item and manage the monthly Kids spending category accordingly. This purchase, in and of itself, isn't a bad thing. Rather, what happens next will dictate that. That's the beauty of budgeting. Sarah can spend whatever she wants on whatever category she wants......as long as we don't overspend the categories. Therefore, even though she spent a TON on this item, it can still fit within the broader context of our budget. There's a cost. There's a consequence. Perhaps it means not buying the kids a pair of shoes. Perhaps itmeans we do a few less extra treats. Perhaps we go to one less kid's event. It's not about refraining from spending on "wants," but managing the puzzle pieces well.

Every category should be managed this way. Set a dollar amount, then live. Don't guilt yourself. Don't starve yourself of a purchase. Don't live in constant regret. Don't second-guess your partner. Set the budget, then manage the puzzle pieces accordingly. One of the best gifts I can give my wife is to entrust her to manage the pieces however she feels best. I don't question her purchases. I don't criticize her purchases. If she's managing the pieces well and we're staying on track, she's winning; we're winning.

Spouses, this might be what the doctor ordered to reduce financial tension in your marriage. We don't have to look over each other's shoulders. We don't have to question. We don't have to criticize. We don't have to live in fear every time an Amazon box shows up at the door.

1. Negotiate the budget each month. Set category-by-category targets.

2. Live your life.

3. Manage the pieces to fit life within the parameters you set.

4. Trust each other.

5. Track your spending along the way.

6. Know where you landed.

7. Repeat.

There's a freedom in not having to care about every expenditure our partner makes, trusting that by the end of the month, the targets set in the original budget have been honored.

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Your Values, Not Mine

One of my clients asked me what I think about a particular decision they are making. Here's how I responded (paraphrased, as I definitely don't remember word for word):

"On a personal level, you don't want or need my opinion. We are on totally opposite sides of this decision; we couldn't be further apart from each other. However, what I think doesn't matter. This decision clearly aligns with your values and what's most important to you, and therefore, that's most important to me. It doesn't matter what I or anyone else thinks of this decision. This is your life, your journey."

The topic? They are considering buying a very, very, very, very nice house. And with that many "very"s, I'm talking about one of the nicest houses I've ever seen in my life. Considering I'm content living in this 80-year-old, one-bathroom house we currently rent, we couldn't be further apart.

This is where nuance MUST come into play. Do you know how successful I'd be walking alongside people if all I did was try to jam my values down their throats? When it comes to money and work, very few things are black-and-white. Instead, it's all different shades through different lenses. What's right for one is wrong for another. What's wise for someone is dumb for another.

This is the problem with most people's financial advice: It's portrayed through their personal lens as right and wrong. You shouldn't buy coffee. You should only buy the nicest coffee. You shouldn't go out to eat. You should only eat at fancy steakhouses. You shouldn't drive a nice car. You shouldn't drive a used car. You shouldn't travel. You shouldn't care about anything other than travel. You should, should, should, should.

Whenever we try to tell other people what to value, we've lost the plot. Instead, it should be about ideas. There are ideas, principles, practices, and habits that are proven to work well. Once we're able to digest those things, we can pursue our values through those lenses.

To my client who is considering buying a tremendously nice house, that's cool. It's not my type of cool, but it is theirs! After walking alongside them, seeing their heart, and understanding what moves their needle, it's probably the right decision for them. Context matters. It always matters.

Therefore, don't listen when other people tell you what you should or shouldn't value. They are them; you are you. We're all different. Embrace your uniqueness, and approach your work and finances accordingly.

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Blood Money

Have you ever had a decision in front of you that you knew in your heart the correct answer would result in you losing a ton of money? Here's an extreme example. You have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make $50,000 for a single day's work......but it's the day of your kid's high school graduation. $50,000 is a lot of money! But it's also your kid's graduation! Is a single one-hour ceremony really worth losing $50,000?

These are the types of scenarios I refer to as "blood money." It's money for the sake of money, even at the expense of something even more important or meaningful (perhaps our dignity). Over the course of my adult life, I've encountered maybe a dozen of these opportunities. A high-paying job/project that I should say "no" to because it would surely steal my job. A financial windfall that would come with major strings attached. Work that needed to be done at the expense of attending an important life event.

I wish I could tell you I always made the right choices in these scenarios, but unfortunately, I haven't. The pain of my regret is where I coined the term "blood money." I looked at the financial reward for x decision and felt disgusted in myself. The financial rewards I received might as well been drenched in blood. I ripped meaning from my life for the benefit of dollars. It's the antithesis of what I believe in, yet I've fallen for it more than once.

There are several families in my coaching going through similar situations. Blood money is on the table. The culturally right decision is to say yes to this money, but the consequences could be dire. What will they choose? Only time will tell. My strongest encouragement to them is to remember what their purpose is. If they are honoring that, they will (usually) make the right choices.

Always choose wisely, as everything is connected to everything.

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Crazy Enough to Believe

I received the most wonderful text a few days ago. Instead of telling you about it, I'll paste a screenshot for you:

Whoa! Talk about an amazing way to start the day, receiving a dramatically positive life update from a former client. However, I think more context is in order. I haven't seen this client in more than two years. After doing a lot of coaching work, this couple decided they had the tools they needed to win....then promptly kicked me to the curb (which is the goal!). I was grateful for the opportunity to work with them, and firmly believed they would take the reins and crush it going forward.

I knew they were well-positioned to succeed the last time we met, but since I haven't been meeting with them, I really didn't know what was happening behind the curtain. After receiving that text, I immediately opened their file to refresh my memory. I knew they had a TON of debt, but I didn't remember how much. Here's what I discovered. My last meeting with them was 28 months ago, when they were sitting on about $118,000 in student loan debt. Ouch!

Seeing the numbers on that spreadsheet took me back to those coaching meetings. $118,000 of student loan debt seems overwhelming because, well, it is. It was intense! However, at the same time, this couple didn't seem rattled. Instead, they were surprisingly optimistic. They were crazy enough to believe they could pay it off. Frankly, that's the secret. The only way to attack $118,000 of student loan debt is to violently attack $118,000 of student loan debt, month by month. This couple had faith, discipline, unity, and perseverance. They were also crazy enough to believe they could do it!

Of all the principles I've learned from watching families (including my own) get out of large amounts of debt, the power of being crazy enough to believe is often the make-or-break factor of success. Conventional wisdom says we'll never be able to pay off $118,000 in student loan debt. If you believe that's true, you surely won't. However, if you're even a fraction as crazy as this couple to actually believe it's possible, not only will it be possible, but inevitable.

I couldn't be happier for this family. They are needle-mover world-changers, and I have a feeling there's about to be a wave of generosity and impact in their wake. They deserve to live in this reality, not because of entitlement, but because of the work they put into making it happen. $118,000 of debt, 28 months. Unreal!

Whatever absurd goal you're carrying with you today, there are a lot of factors in play that will determine whether or not you achieve it. Are you crazy enough to believe you can? The answer to that question will speak volumes about what's about to happen.

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The Little Things Are the Big Things

Growing up in the 90s west of Chicago, I was obsessed with the Chicago Cubs. In fact, I made at least one trip to Wrigley Field per year for 20 consecutive years. I love that place. And in the 90s, there was no better place to sit than the right field bleachers. There was nothing like the moment Sammy Sosa made his dramatic run-out to start the game. The fans, including me, would lose their minds.

Despite being a huge Sammy Sosa fan, he always drove me nuts. He wanted to hit a home run on every pitch. Without fail, every single swing was an attempt to club the ball 500 feet, which resulted in so many strikeouts. It's hard to blame him, though, as he was one of the best long-ball hitters ever. However, I couldn't help but think that maybe his swing-for-the-fences-on-every-pitch approach did more harm than good.

A blog reader recently shared a story about how someone in his life wanted “a big plan." Caveat: No budget. A budget is too small. He was looking for something bigger. Budgets are like singles or doubles......he wanted to hit that home run (or maybe a grand slam!).

This resonated with me, as I've seen this play out with clients before. The budget can seem so small, so insignificant. But just like in the case of Sammy Sosa, I can't help but think how much more effective people could be by focusing on the small things, too. I'll take it a step further. Sometimes, the small things are the big things.

A while back, I started working with a couple that made $500,000+ per year. The income was rolling in! When we started working together, they requested that we skip the entire budgeting component of my coaching. And by "requested," I mean they insisted. Reluctantly, but with warning, I obliged.

Fast forward six months, and the couple was displeased with their progress. They set some big goals (home run swings) and went into it with a lot of confidence, yet six months in, they hadn't achieved much (several strikeouts). That's when I reintroduced the budgeting idea to them. In their minds (and words), budgeting was something "poor people had to do." I laughed and explained that not only is budgeting for high earners, but it's actually more important for high earners to budget than lower earners.

Fortunately, and probably for a lack of alternatives, they decided to trust the process for a season. In just the first month, they made more progress toward their very large goal than in the six prior months combined. Why? Because they focused on the little things. Sometimes, the little things are the big things.

I know I beat a dead horse on this topic, but it's so, so important. When we do the small things well, it unlocks the big things. When we focus on getting singles and doubles, we'll score far more runs (and incur far fewer strikeouts) than had we just swung for the fences every pitch.

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Plumbers and Alyssas

Every week, my assistant Alyssa sends me an e-mail that breaks down what she worked on, what she's working on, and how much time she logged. My contract with her is an hourly rate with a minimum number of hours per month, so she's continually clocking her time.

Yesterday, when I opened her weekly e-mail, I was startled to learn that she had logged only 40% of the hours I paid her for in January. Oops! Conventional wisdom would say that I overpaid her; I got ripped off. After all, if she only worked 40% of the hours she was paid for, that means she technically made 2.5x our billable hourly rate. Know what I think of that? Excellent!

While our contract is based on a specific hourly rate (with a minimum of x hours), I don't actually pay her for her time. Instead, I pay her for her impact. I'm better because of her. While she might have logged fewer hours than anticipated, which was primarily because my month was jam-packed with consulting work, I can still look back at the month and say she did a phenomenal job at helping me keep my proverbial train on the tracks. And if she made more per hour for doing so, great for her!

Even if she only logged 10% of the hours I'm paying her for, that's still a win for me. The impact she's having on my work life is tremendous. If I'm measuring her fee based on the number of hours she worked, it appears I grossly overpaid. However, if I'm measuring her fee based on the impact she had on me and my business, I underpaid her! Perspective matters.

It reminds me of the old business parable about the plumber:

"You were only here for 15 minutes! Why are you charging me $200?!?!"

"You weren't paying me for my time. You were paying to have an unclogged toilet. Your toilet is now unclogged."

A job well done is a job well done, regardless of how much time it takes. Why should someone be rewarded for taking too much time and punished for taking too little time? While Alyssa logged fewer hours than anticipated last month, it was enough to achieve the mission. I call that a giant win! I’m so grateful for her and what she brings to my work life.

It's amazing how different the world looks when we look at life through this lens. Pay for impact.....period. Life-altering stuff.

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Our Bellies (and Minds) Deceive Us

In the middle of a client meeting, I brought up the couple's rampant overspending on dining out. To provide some context, for the past few months, this couple had overspent their monthly dining out budget by hundreds of dollars. In fact, just the prior month, the couple spent $1,000 on this category (vs. their $500 budget). Considering the couple was struggling to meet their financial goals, this category was clearly becoming an elephant in the room. When I mentioned the overspending, one spouse jumped in: "What do you mean we overspent on dining out?!?! We hardly ever go out to eat!"

The second spouse added, "Yeah, we maybe go out to eat once per week. And when we do, it's usually just fast food."

"If that's true, how do you explain the $1,000 you spent last week?" I asked.

"We didn't. No way. Zero chance."

That's when I pulled out the transaction log. 42 transactions were allocated to dining out. I don't know about you, but 42 card swipes at restaurants over a 30-day window doesn't feel like "hardly ever go out to eat."

They were stunned. 42 times!?!? We scanned the list. Yep, yep, yep, yep. All those happened......it just didn't feel like it in the moment. A quick meal here. A pit stop on the way home from practice there. It doesn't take much for a $500 dining out budget to accidentally balloon to $1,000, or $1,500, or even $2,000. The moment we lose intentionality and discipline, all bets are off.

I told this couple not to feel guilty; it happens to the best of us! I think we've all been there before. The important part isn't feeling bad about it, but rather developing an awareness of our gaps.

Want to know what happened next? The couple became quite aware of their dining out spending. Month after month, they locked in on the desired number. With fewer trips out to eat, they made sure to enjoy them more. They chose wisely, carefully. And they started meeting some of their other financial goals! Huge win!

Our bellies (and our minds) can deceive us. I'm the world's biggest fan of dining out, but we must be intentional and practice discipline. The same goes for all the areas in our monthly budget. It's never about spending less, but spending better. Find your better.

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Yeah, I Don’t Know

I used to love keeping up with technological innovations: the newest TVs, stereos, cellphones, gadgets, and all things electronics. However, as my time became more limited and my skill set in this area fell behind, I eventually conceded that it's not my lane. And as I often write about, I believe in knowing what our lanes are.....and what they aren't.

I have a handshake deal with my friend Ryan. Technology IS his lane. Technology to him is what work and money are to me. People trust him for his expertise and guidance. Here's my handshake deal with him. Whenever I need to purchase technology for my personal or professional life, he will send me a link. He doesn't explain this benefit, that feature, or xyz risk to me. I can't handle all that. Instead, he sends me a link. I explain roughly what I'm trying to accomplish, and he sends me a link. That's it.

For the past few months, we've been in the market for a new living room TV. As always, I explained my situation to Ryan and waited for a link. Well, I'm pleased to announce that yesterday was the day! He texted me a Best Buy link and said it was less than half the retail price. I immediately opened the link and purchased the TV. The entire thing took four-and-a-half minutes. A few moments later, Pax asked me about it:

"Dad, what brand is it?"

"I don't know."

"What size is it?"

"I don't know."

"What kind of screen is it?"

"I don't know."

"What makes it good?"

"No idea."

"Why did you buy it without knowing anything about it?"

"Because I trust Ryan."

This is one of my favorite things in life! I know a few things really, really well. Then, to fill in all my gaps, I attempt to recruit people around me who specialize in said things. The fact that I just purchased a new TV in less than five minutes without knowing anything about it, yet trusting it's going to be awesome, is a wonderful feeling! I'm pumped, and the family is, too.

I know I've tried to make this point multiple times recently, but hopefully this example illustrates it well. We don't have to be an expert in everything. We don't have to have strong opinions about everything. We don't need to be a know-it-all. Sometimes, we need to simply stay in our lane and trust people who run in their lanes. It makes life so much richer.....and simpler!

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What a Privilege

I recently stumbled upon a quote that stopped me in my tracks:

"What a privilege to be tired from the work that you once prayed for."

I've had quite the month. I'm utterly exhausted. Some days were fun, many were a grind, and a handful excruciating. All the while, though, I kept thinking about that quote. What a privilege it is, indeed, to be tired from the work I once prayed for.

It's so easy to lose sight of how blessed we are. I'm immensely grateful for every opportunity on my plate. Nearly seven years ago, with two toddlers and Sarah locked into her stay-at-home mom role, I left my prior career, and our family took a 90% pay cut. Overnight, we went from having plenty to not having nearly enough. Every month was a struggle. The budget was cut down to about nothing, and we had to be tediously careful with every dollar spent. Month after month, we struggled to build the business and get our legs under us. Fast forward to today, and there's no other word to use than "grateful."

I'll never take for granted how this journey has played out. We've experienced the worst of the worst and the best of the best. Though I have some scars from along the way, I'm not sure I'd undo any of it if I had the chance. Instead, I think those scars will continuously help remind me what a privilege it is to be tired from the work (and life) I once prayed for.

I hope this resonates today. Have a blessed day!

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It’s Okay

Have you been on social media lately? Wow, it's a crazy world out there. If a Hollywood blockbuster apocalyptic thriller came to life and lived in the digital world, that would be today's social media environment. Every single time I open any single one of my social media apps, I'm instantly met with a barrage of unhinged humanity.

Today, I want to share a little life hack with you. Some of you already practice this, which might be where I picked up on the habit. Alright, here goes: We don't have to have an opinion about everything. Do you know how emotionally, mentally, and spiritually draining it is to have a strong opinion about each and every topic? It's exhausting!

Sure, there are events, situations, and developments in our lives that naturally elicit feelings. However, I'm not sure we humans were meant to have strong opinions about everything, especially things that are five standard deviations beyond our purview, our understanding, and our expertise. "I don't know" is a perfectly acceptable answer. In fact, I think I use the phrase "I don't know" more than any other phrase. I'd actually take it one step further. If we never admit that we "don't know," it brings into question whether we know anything.

What does this have to do with the overarching topic of this blog? Here's how. It's nearly impossible to live a meaningful life if we let ourselves be spread razor-thin by everything going on around us. Sometimes, we need to practice humility and not know something. After all, if we truly want to be masters of our crafts, our lives, our influence, and our relationships, we must not allow ourselves to be consumed by all the world has to offer (er, shoved down our throats). This isn’t me saying that we shouldn’t care what’s going on around us. I think we should care deeply. However, there’s something brutally unhealthy about having steadfast, unwavering opinions about every single thing. It can drive us into the ground.

I'll probably have a lot of opinions today, but I'm going to try to focus them on things that actually fall within my purview, influence, passions, and skillsets.

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No Right Time

A young couple was hurting. Deeply in debt, tension in the marriage, and jobs they loathed. They felt stuck. They wanted a better life, but it felt utterly unattainable. After about 30 minutes, we visually mapped on the whiteboard how they could simply (but not easily) free themselves from this debt and the life they feel stuck in. All it would take is 15 months, a ton of intentionality, a dose of humility, and a bunch of discipline.

"This isn't the right time."

What do you mean this isn't the right time?!?! You are broke, miserable, and relationally hanging on by a thread. Doesn't this time seem as good as any?

"We have too much going on right now. Maybe in a year or two when things line up a little better."

That's when I had to break the news to them. There is no right time. The right time will never come. Their lives will absolutely not get easier. Nothing will line up better. This needle they are hoping to thread doesn't exist.

Literally every month of their life from here until they die will be the wrong time. If that's true, then there's no better time than now! Seriously! Regardless of what you're hoping to accomplish, there is no right time. It might seem like a better time might, possibly, perhaps, maybe be on the horizon......but it's not. There's no such thing. As such, there's no better time than the present!

This is the #1 rule when engaging in our goals, financial or otherwise. If we recognize there really isn't ever going to be a good time, then we might as well start now. Yes, today is a bad day to start; so is tomorrow. So we should probably just get started today.

I can read your mind. You have something you want to do. It's been itching at you. You desperately want to get going, but now's not the right time. I agree, it's not......but no right time will ever exist. Therefore, let's get started.

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The Wrong Question

I've seen countless machinations of this question on social media over the past few years, but here's how someone framed it on a post I stumbled upon a few days ago:

"What would you rather have, an in-person job that pays $150,000 or a work-from-home job that pays $125,000?"

I see what they are doing here. They are trying to establish the monetary value of being able to work from home, or the monetary value of not having to go into an office. When I read this, though, I feel like they are asking the wrong question.

Is working from home inherently better than working in person? Some say yes, some say no. What if one job is a soul-sucking, outside of our competencies, void of meaning (to us) job? What if one job checks every box we could possibly have when it comes to awesome work, such as values, culture, skills, meaning, and trajectory?

This takes me back to the infamous statistic showing that 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. One of the contributing factors to this phenomenon is the fact that we look at work as a necessary evil, and are willing to sell ourselves to the highest (and/or least sucky) bidder.

If we could get over the hump of treating work like a necessary evil, we would make different choices. If we would make different choices, we would end up in different places. If we would end up in different places, we would find much higher levels of meaning, satisfaction, and fulfillment in our work.

Some people may think I'm being hyperbolic here, but I've noticed a common theme over the course of hundreds of conversations with people who are weighing job options. The compensation is almost always, and oftentimes, the only factor that gets put on the table for consideration when making decisions. I always find that to be fascinating! That's when I start asking the other questions. What about the specific role? What about the values and culture of the organization? What about the upward mobility? What about the meaning you find in this opportunity?

I strongly believe that if we start asking better questions, we'll end up in better places. We can't undo all the questionable decisions we made in the past, but the next decision opportunity is right around the corner!

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Back Against The Wall

Over the last week, I've encountered several challenges in my client work where it felt like my back was against the wall. The issue was unique, material, and complex. It also required me to figure it out.....with no Plan B available. These were true back-against-the-wall, "or else" moments. To be honest, sometimes it feels like it would be easier to just throw my hands in the air and admit defeat. However, something interesting happens when our backs are against the proverbial wall: We figure it out. Somehow, some way, we work through it. I hate to admit it, but if my back wasn't against the wall, I'm not sure I would have found the way. But once I do figure it out, I will forever possess that skill for later use. Over and over and over I encounter these types of scenarios in my work.

Last night, as I was reflecting on the onslaught of back-against-the-wall challenges I've recently tackled, I thought back to when Sarah and I first got married. I had just been involuntarily relocated to a different state, and we had $236,000 of debt. The easiest path would have been to give up and succumb to the terrors in front of us. However, since our backs were against the wall and it felt like a red-alert-lockdown-type of moment, we were forced to figure it out. 4.5 years later, we were debt-free. As much as I would love to take credit for being so wise (though I clearly wasn't, as evidenced by the $236,000 of debt), it was the back-against-the-wall nature of our situation that forced us to figure it out.

No, I'm not a big fan of having my back against the wall. It sucks. It sucks on a macro level, and it sucks on a micro level. However, there's no better way to figure something out than to have no other options. While I don't wish your back to be against the wall, if you ever find yourself in that situation (or are there today!), I encourage you to use it! Use that pressure to fuel you into a better reality. Use it to aid you in your "figuring it out" stage. It's often a messy process, but it will be worth it. Also, as an added bonus, once you have figured it out, you'll possess that skill for the rest of your life! That's pretty dang cool.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some more back-against-the-wall client challenges facing me today. Wish me luck, and good luck to you as well.

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Respecting Lanes

About 15 years ago, Sarah and I were watching Netflix on the couch when I received an urgent text. It was about 1 AM, and the text was from one of my youth group kids, a 16-year-old girl. After making a few questionable decisions, she found herself in an uncomfortable position at a house party. She was somewhere between not wanting to make poor choices, scared of getting hurt, and nervous that she would end up in the car with an impaired driver. Needless to say, she was freaking out. One of my policies as a youth group leader was that if the kids ever found themselves in a tough spot, I would pick them up, no questions asked. On this particular night, she was nervous about calling her parents, so she texted me. Sarah and I jumped into the car, picked her up, and took her home.

Fast forward 15 years, I recently reached out to this young lady for advice. Yes, I was her youth group leader. Yes, I'm nearly twice her age. Yes, I walked alongside her during some of her most difficult teenage moments. But today, I need her wisdom, insights, and expertise. She works in a field that falls outside my purview, and today, I need her help.

I spent my entire life being disregarded and dismissed by the generation ahead of me. I was constantly treated like my wisdom, insights, and expertise didn't count. After all, these people were decades older than me. I was just a kid to them. What could some young dude have to offer them?!?! They were worse off for having this short-sighted perspective. I always promised myself that one day, when the roles reversed, I wouldn't do the same.

Well, as Father Time would have it, I'm no longer the youngest guy in most rooms. I now regularly find myself being on the older end of the age range in conversations. How am I doing with the promise I made myself? I suppose I need to let others answer that question for me, but considering I'm actively seeking advice from a woman whom I walked alongside during her teenage years, I'd like to think I'm succeeding.

We all have lanes. I have lanes, and you have lanes. Some of my strongest lanes revolve around the intersection of meaning, work, and money. I can help move the needle in this area of people's lives. Another lane is helping businesses gain greater clarity and control over the inner workings of their financial operations. Those are lanes I specialize in. Simultaneously, I need to recognize all the things in life that aren't my lane.

Enter my young friend. Despite being half my age, she has a wealth of knowledge in a lane where I desperately need help. I'm not going to her for career, financial, or business advice. I'm not going to her for parenting advice. I'm not going to her for marriage advice. I deeply respect her lane, and as such, I need to have the humility to allow her to speak into that area of my life.

This is a dynamic that most of us confront on a daily basis. In and out of the workplace, we constantly interact with other generations. If we simply get over ourselves and respect people's lanes, we can open ourselves up to so many wonderful things. It's not always easy, but it's always the right (and best!) thing to do.

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Silver Lining to the Memory Loss

I discovered something wild yesterday while I was working in my home office. I stumbled upon a random and mysterious yellow envelope. It had been sent through the Postal Service, but I didn't recognize it. I eagerly but nervously opened it, only to discover it housed 13 handwritten cards addressed to me.

Unreal! The cards were from high school students who attended a talk I gave on December 4th. Turns out, I received this package of cards during the stretch when I was suffering cognitive function decline and short-term memory loss as a result of a neck injury. In fact, I didn't piece this together until yesterday, but I actually gave this talk the morning of the day when my cognitive function deteriorated. I remember this talk well, but I don't recall much about a family event I attended later that evening.

As I read through the cards yesterday, I couldn't help but think how this was such beautiful timing. I've had an absolutely brutal week. It was the kind of week where one can start questioning if they are actually in the right place. Is this where I belong? Am I doing the right things? Is this where I'm meant to be?

As I opened the first card and read the generous words, those doubts I had been carrying were immediately swept away. In an instant, I was jolted back to reality, a reality where I recognize I'm exactly where I'm called to be. Following meaning is a treacherous endeavor. It sometimes means turning our backs on comfort, status, material gain, and an easier path. In its place can be uncertainty, risk, pain, frustration, and heartache.

I've been on all sides of this coin: the good, the bad, and the ugly. I've experienced comfort, status, material gain, and an easier path. I've also performed a drastic 180-degree turn and ran headfirst into uncertainty, risk, pain, frustration, and heartache. I don't claim to be a know-it-all here, but I can confidently testify that despite being the hardest seven years of my life, it's been the most rewarding, fulfilling, and impactful seven years of my life. Knowing what I know now, I'd never go back to "the old way."

I hope some of you have similar stories. If so, please share them with others. In a world that pushes one way to see the world, these stories can be powerful. On the flip side, if you don't have any of these stories, perhaps now is a great time to create them. It's not supposed to be easy, but it is supposed to be rewarding.

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If It Bleeds, It Leads

I received a text from a buddy yesterday. I haven't interacted with him much over the past six months, so he kinda caught me off guard:

"Any thoughts on why the stock market is struggling so much right now? Do you think it will continue to be bad?"

I stared at my screen for at least two minutes, trying to think of an adequate response. What in the world is he talking about?!?! My response:

"As of the closing bell last a few hours ago, the stock market is at the 12th highest price it's ever been in 155 years. What makes you think things are going so bad?"

"I've been seeing things about it on Twitter, TikTok and also the news. Everyone says it's bad and will keep being bad."

There's an old saying that's as relevant today as it was when originally coined: "If it bleeds, it leads." Fear sells. Fear triggers emotion. Emotion triggers reaction. Reaction triggers engagement. Engagement triggers revenue. Revenue triggers $. Translation: Fear = $.

We live in a fear-based society, and nowhere is this more true than in the reporting of financial markets. After all, it's really easy to report how bad things are when the market has a bad day. It's fun for the media to blast big red numbers on the screen, alongside a curated short-term graph that shows a jagged line moving in a down-and-to-the-right trajectory. Fear!

Truth is, the stock market returned 17.7% in 2025 and is up approximately 1% in this young year. The 12 best day-end stock market prices in history have all occurred in the last 31 days. Here, let me show a picture:

This is what the U.S. stock market has looked like over the past five years, yet at the same time, a huge portion of our society thinks we're in the middle of a crash. It’s literally lingering at the peak of the best price in human history, yet many people think we’re in the toilet. If it bleeds, it leads. Fear = $.

My biggest encouragement is to simply ignore the noise. We're not going to stop the media or people around us from using fear to manipulate our emotions. Therefore, we must insulate ourselves from the madness. I find it best to simply ignore it. Period. Live a meaningful life, make an impact on others, give generously, and enjoy some good food.

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E

As I sit here, my brain is completely blank. I've gotten 6 hours of sleep, combined, over the past two nights. I'm absolutely fried. The tank is on E. I have so many ideas, yet at the same time, nothing is coming out. All I can seem to think about is how important sleep is and how detrimental a lack of it can be.

The word we always use is "balance." Balance, balance, balance. Everything is about balance. I used to aggressively pursue balance, but eventually, after years and years of failure, I realized balance is a myth. Balance is something that works well on paper, but terribly in real life.

Now, I can admit that getting 6 hours of sleep over two nights is never a good thing. You got me on that one. However, setting my extreme example aside, it never feels like life is balanced. Rather, it's a perpetual swinging of the pendulum from one side to the other. We're either unbalanced one way, or unbalanced the other way.

There's nothing wrong with this. In fact, I'd argue it's a healthy and normal rhythm of life. It doesn't mean we shouldn't try to maintain a healthy lifestyle; instead, it means we should simply give ourselves more grace while we try to figure it out. Every day, week, month, and season is different, and each deserves its own rhythm. We should try to embrace it for whatever it is, wherever that pendulum falls.

I'm sure my life will be perpetually unbalanced one way or another, but I hope to go easy on myself as I navigate that journey the best I can. For now, though, I'm gonna try to get some shut-eye.

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