The Tale of Two Neighbors

I'm good friends with two people, but I don't think either of them knows I'm friends with the other. These two individuals are both business owners, and as luck would have it, their retail locations are adjacent to one another. They share a wall!

During one of our recent conversations, one of these friends was expressing excitement about how amazing business has been lately. The business is hitting record numbers and has new customers coming out of their ears. 2025 was the most profitable year ever, and by the looks of the first two months of 2026, this year will crush those records. Every conversation revolves around their team culture and its customer experience.

During a recent conversation with the other friend, the theme of the conversation revolved around the idea that nobody supports small businesses anymore. Everyone just wants to eat at chain restaurants, shop at big-box stores, and order their goods from Amazon. In other words, people suck, and the stupid actions of these sucky people are driving all small businesses into the ground. Closure seems imminent, which I suppose is the natural outcome when people stop "supporting local." It's always a pity party, and this person (and their business) is always the victim of the situation.

You'd think these businesses are located on different planets, but remember, they share a wall! Same street, same foot traffic, same weather patterns, same landlord, same everything. One thing sets them apart, though. The first business is laser-focused on being excellent, offering a fantastic product, practicing unreasonable hospitality, and serving those whom they have the privilege of serving. They have a posture of gratitude and constantly have their foot on the gas.

The second business operates with a sense of entitlement, constantly asking people to come support them. They don't operate with excellence, and the staff treats people poorly. They don't have a keen sense of the numbers and are always looking for a novelty idea to get people in the door. Further, they are known to spout off about political topics.....which is likely driving away 50% of their prospective customers.

It's never really about "supporting" small business or not. People naturally gravitate toward excellence.....period. People are largely agnostic about big vs. small, national vs. local. If anything, I'd say people naturally bend toward small and local, but said small and local businesses must earn it through excellence.

Whatever you're doing today, whether you run a business or not, focus on excellence. Excellence always wins....always. Yes, there are many forces and factors at play. There's no doubt that externalities play a role in our lives, finances, careers, and businesses. However, at the same time, we must control what we can control. And today, we can control our pursuit of excellence.

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Don’t Forget to Look Down

I was recently working on a project for a client when one of the senior executives blurted out, "I can't believe you know how to do that. That's insane!"

"Well, I didn't know how to do this a year ago."

He laughed. I wasn't kidding. The truth is, some of the things I'm working on today are miles above what I could accomplish just one year ago. Think about that! At 44, much of my work involves skills that 43-year-old me had zero chance of executing......never mind 33-year-old me!

It's moments like this that remind me how important it is we look down. We're often so busy climbing this proverbial mountain of growth that we lose sight of just how far we've come. Sometimes, we need to take a little peek down the mountain to jar ourselves back to reality of just how far we've actually come.

In a world that consistently tells us we're not good enough and encourages us to unfairly compare ourselves to others, perhaps we need to start (fairly) comparing ourselves to where we've come from. I don't want to be the next xyz. I want to be the best me I can be. Therefore, instead of comparing myself to someone else, I need to compare myself to where I've come from.

Am I more skilled at x than I used to be?

Am I wiser than I used to be?

Am I a better decision-maker than I used to be?

Is my emotional intelligence better than it used to be?

Are my blog posts and podcast episodes sharper than when I first began?

Am I more effective in my coaching than I was in the past?

Are my speaking skills better honed than in my earlier talks?

These should be the measuring sticks I use to assess myself, not some celebrity version of what I do on social media. As for you, you need to create your own measuring sticks. You need to look down that proverbial mountain and see just how dang far you've come. Go ahead, take a peek. Be honest with yourself. How far have you come in the past year? 5 years? What about 10 years!?!?

Great, now just imagine how cool and awesome it's going to be 10 years from now! That version of you is really going to move the needle. Keep moving forward.

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(Un)Limited Digital Footprint

A few days ago, one of my buddies made a declaration to me that caught me somewhat offguard. What seemed out of nowhere, he definitively said, "I'm trying to leave a limited digital footprint." The heart of his message was that he is trying to stay relatively off the radar, with the intended goal of having as little about him as possible findable on the internet.

I have old high school friends with ZERO digital footprint. Seriously. I was trying to find a few people recently, and to my shock, they were digital ghosts. How is that even possible?!?!

Everyone can navigate this digital footprint however they choose, but today, I want to share my perspective. Here's how I responded when my buddy said he wanted to leave a limited digital footprint. "I'm trying to leave an UNlimited digital footprint!" I laughed. He laughed. We laughed.

Seriously, though, I mean it. I want to leave the largest digital footprint possible. Perhaps we need to define the term "digital footprint." The entire concept has morphed over the years.

In 2008, a digital footprint looked something like this on Facebook: "Travis Shelton is taking a poop and hitting the gym. It's gonna be a great day!" Yes, very insightful!

Over time, we got more serious (and gross) about this whole digital footprint idea. Here's what it looks like in 2026. "Trump is evil!" or "I love Trump!"

Again, very compelling! To most people, this is what a digital footprint consists of. It's a collection of random thoughts, gut reactions, and potshots. This is not what I'm talking about when referring to my aspiration for an "unlimited digital footprint."

Instead, what I'm shooting for, and advocating others similarly pursue, is a tangible legacy that will linger long after we're gone. Photos, video, wisdom, art, and impact. That can take many different forms, but the results are similar. When we're no longer here, we're creating the opportunity to continue making a difference in other people's lives. It's a simple, but profound idea.

My family recently watched the new Twenty One Pilots movie, More Than We Ever Imagined, at the theater. I was blown away. It touched me at a very deep level, and I've been thinking about it ever since. But I keep thinking about this concept of a digital footprint. If bandmates Tyler or Josh were to pass away today, this gem would remain with us forever. This film is a masterpiece representation of their brilliance and craft. They spent their time, energy, resources, and creativity to put it together, then shipped it to the world to enjoy. It’s here permanently….forever.

To me, this is a perfect representation of this idea of leaving an unlimited digital footprint. If I get hit by a bus today, I will leave a massive digital footprint. Not some ridiculous political potshots that will be loved by half and hated by half, but sincere, authentic, (hopefully) value-add content that will make a difference in other people's lives for years to come. Will it make an impact? Hard to say, but the opportunity is there. That’s all I’m asking for.

I hope everyone takes advantage of this same opportunity. Those who come after you deserve to maintain a piece of you after you're gone. What a gift!

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Allergic to Numbers

Allergies are common in today's society. Some people are allergic to food. Some people are allergic to pollen. Some people are allergic to medications. My wife, Sarah, is allergic to numbers. Strange, I know! If it involves numbers, counting, dollars, or math, she's out. She's been this way since the day I met her, and I suspect will be the same until the day she dies.

Yesterday, I received the following text from her:

That's right. Numbers. Math. Dollars. This text was her first communication for the negotiation of March's budget. Each month, for the last 200 months, Sarah and I have negotiated a budget for our household. Yes, she's allergic to numbers, but that doesn't exclude her from the process. Yes, I make 99% of our family's income, but that doesn't exclude her from the process. Yes, I'm a professional in this area, but that doesn't exclude her from the process.

I create a draft budget, she reviews it, she provides initial feedback, and then we negotiate. Once the budget is final, we both commit to honoring said budget until the completion of the month. Then, we do it again next month. This is what a team looks like. We each have roles in the process, but we both must be accountable and engaged.

One of my clients recently said they have no idea how they even lived their lives before budgeting became a fixture in their marriage. That resonated with me. If it weren't for Sarah and I's discipline in this area of our lives, there's zero chance we'd be anywhere close to where we are now. Frankly, I'm not sure we'd even have a marriage. The tension that finances have on marriages is massive. In fact, financial tension is the number one cause of divorce in America. That's wild....and sad! My running joke (not joke) with clients is that "Sarah and I have enough issues that we can't afford money to be one of them."

How long does it take me to create the first draft of the budget? Probably 10 minutes. How long does it take for Sarah and me to negotiate the final budget? Probably another 10 minutes. How long does it take me to track our budget each month? Probably 30-40 total minutes throughout the month. Therefore, approximately 60 minutes per month is the difference between living in constant tension, friction, and unknown vs. watching all our dreams come true, with unity.

It's a small price to pay for unquestionable, uncapped upside.

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An Open Postcard, Revisited

During a recent speaking event, someone in the audience asked me, "What's your origin story?" Such an intriguing question! Mere hours after that talk, I received one of those Facebook notifications about past posts "on this day." This particular post caught my eye. It was a blog post I published six years prior. In fact, it was one of the first things I ever published on my website, nearly three years before The Daily Meaning was born.

As I read that post last night, it seemed, in and of itself, the heart of my origin story. It was framed through the lens of a postcard I wrote to my then-toddler kids on the eve of resigning from my 15-year career and starting over. I was scared, excited, and queasy.....did I mention scared?!?!

As I re-read the words I wrote to my kids all those years ago, I don't think I would change a thing. I encourage you to read it, and I hope those scared words add value to you today just as I hope they someday add value to my grown kids. You can find it HERE.

Have a great day!

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Master Mechanic

I was talking to one of our Northern Vessel baristas yesterday morning when the topic of income taxes on tips came up. I gave her a short answer, then added, "But you should definitely ask your tax professional about this."

Her: ............

Me: "You don't have a trusted tax professional?"

Her: "No, I just do my own taxes. I always have."

Me: "Why don't you have someone you trust?"

Her: "I don't want to throw away $300 for something I can just do myself."

Me: "Would you swap out the engine in your car yourself to save a few hundred bucks?"

Her (tongue in cheek): "Of course!"

This is a hot take, and one I share often, but I don't believe any American should be doing their own taxes. Unless we have professional experience as a tax accountant, I think every single person should have a trusted tax professional in their camp.

Yes, it's going to cost some money. Let's say it costs a few hundred bucks. I would argue that you'll experience far more upside than what it costs. At worst, you have someone in your corner if/when the IRS comes knocking. At best, your trusted professional will help save you thousands of dollars on nuances you never even thought about.

To be clear, I'm not talking about walking into a brick-and-mortar tax shop in early April for 60 minutes to have someone crank out your tax return. I'm talking about a true professional that you can build a relationship with over time. Someone who is available to contact during the year when you have life changes. Someone who will help you make decisions BEFORE the year ends to best take advantage of any tax benefits. Someone who will explain changes in the tax code. Someone who can answer all your dumb questions to make this ridiculous tax code more approachable. Someone who will look out for your best interest 12 months of the year, not just on a singular day.

Sure, I could try to save a few hundred bucks by replacing the engine in my car myself. However, I'd probably end up royally screwing something up, ultimately costing me far more than it would have had I just paid an expert to help me in the first place. I'm not a master mechanic, though, and I don't play one on TV. The same goes for taxes. I'm not an expert, and I'll never claim to be. That's why I have someone I trust to walk alongside me to ensure I maximize that area of my life. Trust me, it's so worth having!

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Playing How We Practice

I once had a basketball coach say something that forever stuck with me. It happened on the heels of a horrible practice; a practice which we were goofing off, playing at half speed, and not focusing on the nuances of the sets. He came into the locker room and screamed, "We play how we practice, and if today's practice was any indication, we're about to get our a**'s kicked tomorrow night."

Ouch! Turns out, he was right. We got steamrolled by a conference rival the following day. That principle, though, has always stuck with me. The intensity at which we practice has a direct correlation with how we'll show up in the games. Michael Jordan was famous for this. He specifically engineered the Chicago Bulls' practices to be so brutal and intense that their games felt easy. Did it work? Well, they have six championship rings, suggesting it did.

This principle carries over into my financial coaching world. When I'm working with couples, I watch closely how they handle the little things. For example, one of my clients received a $2,000 tax refund. It's not a huge amount of money, but it's something with heft to it. It matters. Despite being deeply in debt and desirous to gain firmer footing, they elected to blow this cash on pure wants. This was the proverbial practice, and they sluffed off. They had an opportunity to show discipline and wisdom with a smaller sum of money.....and blew it. This informed me that they would soon make even worse decisions with larger sums of money (the proverbial game). Fast forward through the next year, and that's exactly what happened. Their behavior in practice carried over directly to their performance during the games.

I see the opposite happen, too. When I watch a couple make wise choices with the smaller things, it gives me confidence that they will make similarly wise choices with the bigger moments. Like clockwork, it happens just like that. They play how they practice, and in their personal situation, it looks like Michael Jordan out there.

The same applies to you and me. We play how we practice. Let's be wise with the smaller moments, as those same behaviors and practices will soon transcend into the bigger moments. If we treat every practice like a game, we’ll be wearing those championship rings soon enough!

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Reckless, I Guess

One of my friends recently blasted me in a one-on-one conversation. Well, not me, specifically, but some of my content. He said that I "teach reckless principles" when it comes to investing. To summarize, I regularly talk about the simplicity, power, and effectiveness of investing in broad U.S. stock market index funds (such as VTI, VTSAX, FSKAX, VOO, or SPY).

My friend believes this advice is beyond risky. In his words, I'm "gambling" my life savings away.....and telling others to gamble, too. He's not alone in this sentiment, which is why I spend a large chunk of my professional and teaching life educating people about the truths of investing.

Did you know people owned stocks while they were still riding around on horses? Yeah, the U.S. stock market has been around since before the automobile was invented. We're talking Abraham Lincoln and the Civil War. That's what kind of track record we're talking about here.

During that nearly 160-year stretch, from the late 1800s until today, the U.S. stock market has NEVER lost money over a 15-year period of time. Ever. Sure, history tells us that we could lose half of our life savings (on paper) over a five-year window. That's happened in the past (1928-1932)... so there is precedent. But never in nearly 160 years has the market lost money over a 15-year period of time. The worst 15 years of all time were from 1929-1943, when the market delivered a total 19% gain over that stretch of time (1.15% per year). Considering what was happening in the world during that stretch (two World Wars!!!!), that's a pretty remarkable outcome!

One last number. The WORST 25-year period since the late 1800s saw the stock market increase by 3.3x (4.92% per year). Think about that. The WORST 25 years ever resulted in your investments more than tripling. Most people reading this article will be alive in 25 years. Historically speaking, your WORST outcome over that stretch will be tripling whatever you have today if you simply invest in a broad, cheap U.S. stock market index. It boggles the mind to even think about, and I don't think "reckless" feels like the right word to describe it.

This post isn't investment advice, but I did want to address this topic head-on while there's so much crazy noise spouting off all around us. We don't have to be scared. We don't have to play games with our investments. We don't have to take hot stock tips from Uncle Chuck at Thanksgiving or crazy Billy at work. Chances are, they will both be broke in due time. Instead, trust history, be patient, and don't lose sleep at night. It's always been a roller coaster and always will be a roller coaster, but if history tells us one thing, the roller coaster somehow finds its way uphill in the long run.

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A Little Accountability Goes a Long Way

One of my clients was having a heck of a time. Over and over and over again, it seemed like circumstances were stackedagainst them. A misfortune here, some bad luck there. As they described it, this was a recurring theme for the entirety oftheir adult lives. Simply put, they were the victims of bad luck and unfortunate circumstances.

However, there seemed to be a continuous theme for each of these seasons of life: them. At some point, as circumstances continue to repeat themselves, we need to look in the mirror and ask ourselves if perhaps we're part of the problem. In this couple's situation, it was obvious to me (but not to them) that perhaps their decisions (or lack thereof) were fueling the madness.

At the heart and soul of the issues, there wasn't much accountability around their finances. Everything felt reactive and chaotic, shooting from the hip. You don't need to be a subject-matter expert to know that's a terrible way to approach money.

The solution? Create accountability from the rubble of chaos. To their credit, they were willing to entertain my ideas for a while. Here's how we intentionally created accountability in an arena where it had not previously existed:

• At the end of each month, they would write down the balances of all their financial accounts and debts. How much did they have, and how much did they owe? Every single month.

• Every single month, they negotiated a budget and endeavored to follow it. Not a sucky budget where they weren't allowed to spend on things they cared about, but a budget that specifically gave them margin to do what they felt was important to them.

• They got rid of the credit cards and streamlined everything to only their joint checking account. Every dollar came into that account, and every dollar left from that account. No side quests.

• Speaking of every dollar, every single dollar of income, regardless of the source, was included in the plan. Thisincluded gifts, bonuses, tax refunds, etc.

• Each month, they reviewed how they did. They were forced to inspect their mistakes and recognize their wins. They had to actually see the consequences of their decisions, for better or worse.

This actually happened seven years ago. That couple who had spent decades dealing with bad luck and misfortune has since transformed themselves into a family that seems to have a lot more good luck and positive fortune. They no longer have debt. They know exactly what's happening with the finances. They are pursuing their aspirations.....and making progress! They don't fight about money anymore. They are living such an amazing life!

This isn't a story about my coaching. This is a story about the power of taking accountability and deciding enough is enough. It's a story about redemption, second chances, and the power of discipline. It's a story about two grown adults who shed generations of financial and behavioral baggage. A little accountability goes a long way!

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Tell Me They Only Care About Money

Yesterday, on the 46th anniversary of The Miracle (USA's iconic Olympic hockey underdog victory against the Soviet Union), the American Olympic men's hockey team did it again. This time, though, it was against Canada. 46 years, another gold medal. It was a historic moment, and one I don't think I'll ever forget.

The game was a nail-biter from start to finish, culminating in a golden goal just a few minutes into overtime. In an instant, everyone in the arena was crying. The US players (and their fans) were crying tears of joy. The Canadian players (and their fans) were crying tears of sorrow. Even the NBC commentators were choking up as they were trying to put into words what this moment meant. It was pure ecstasy......and pure agony.

Here's something interesting, though. Every single player on both the US and Canadian rosters plays in the NHL, the world's most prominent hockey league. These players play with each other and against each other multiple times per week, year after year. Yet, this moment was so profoundly important to everyone on the ice.

It would be so easy to talk about how these rich professional athletes just do it for the money. Tell that to my TV yesterday. What I saw was pure emotion. Yeah, money is cool, but whether we like to admit it or not, money is far from the ultimate driver. The world might run on money, but at our core, we humans run on meaning. Watching those players yesterday, I don't think money was on their minds.

Let's talk about the money, though, as it's very, very real. After doing a little research, I found that these two teams have 50 rostered NHL players. Combined, their annual salaries (not including any sponsorships or outside income) total approximately $390 million. That means, on average, the players representing USA and Canada in yesterday's game make approximately $8 million per year.

Yet, in the postgame interview, the hero player for the US squad was crying, bleeding (from getting his front teeth knocked out), and talking about how much he loves his country.

It's so easy to point our fingers and accuse professional athletes, celebrities, and large business owners of only caring about money. I think we have it backwards. The presence of money and fame isn't the tell that they only care about money. Rather, the presence of money and fame is oftentimes the byproduct of pouring their blood, sweat, tears, and passions into something they deeply care about.....and succeeding.

I'll end with this. I think we would all be much more successful in our endeavors and pursuits if we cared as much as those 40-50 players on the ice yesterday. Yes, they are rich. Yes, they are famous. But I don't think that's what fuels them. I think they have meaning filled to the brim. That's something worth fighting for.

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More Doesn’t Mean Growth

I recently found myself in a conversation with a coffee shop owner. He knew I was a business consultant, so he wanted to ask me a few questions and get some feedback on the inner workings of his business. However, what he didn't know during the first half of this conversation is that I also own a coffee company. The relevance of this detail will become apparent shortly.

In short, this business owner is trying to grow revenue, which, in turn, should increase profit. His solution? More product offerings. Specifically, more food options and more specialty drink options. In his mind, more options = more sales. Here's the lay of the land. After adding new drinks, they now have 26 specialty drink options. Not only that, but these 26 specialty drinks come in three different sizes......and each can be served hot or cold. If you do the math, that means their specialty drink menu has 156 different variations! This doesn't even include their non-specialty drinks.

Since he asked my opinion, I shared it. Growth doesn't happen from doing more, but by pursuing excellence. Doing more, but not being excellent, is a great way to drive yourself crazy while standing still. Excellence, on the other hand, is a great way to scale. Or, contextual to his world, excellent drink quality, excellent culture, excellent processes, excellent consistency, excellent workflow, and excellent hospitality.

This man couldn't have disagreed more with my principle, adding that while my ideas might work in other industries, it doesn't apply to coffee. That's when I shared about my coffee company, Northern Vessel. I explained that we carry six specialty drinks. All come in just one size, and three of them are served hot or cold. Therefore, in total, we have just 9 specialty drink variations (compared to his 156). On top of that, we only serve one food item: donuts from a local donut shop.

"Well, that idea sounds good in theory, but how do you plan to scale that? We're serving 150-200 cups per day and think we can grow it to 300. Offering only six specialties and not giving people size options won't cut it. How many cups are you at?"

"500-700 per day."

"..........."

The truth is, I used to believe the same myths as this man. When we launched our brick-and-mortar shop just over three years ago, we had several more drink options and many different food options. As we increased our focus on excellence, we grew. As we simplified our offerings, we grew. As we thought less about growth and more about getting better, we ironically grew. Excellence always wins.

I know all this coffee talk probably isn't relevant to your life. HOWEVER, this is a universal principle. Excellence is the best way to grow, always. Even when every ounce of our being says that more options and more offerings are the answer, it's not. Everything comes back to excellence....period.

I'm not saying Northern Vessel is excellent or I'm excellent. Rather, Northern Vessel is trying to be more excellent today than it was yesterday....and the same goes for myself. I don't know where we land on the overall excellence spectrum, but hopefully it's a perpetual up-and-to-the-right trajectory. No matter the industry or discipline, it's a winning formula.

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“Why Not Us?”

A 30-something couple was sitting across from me. They looked like a perfect mix of tired, stressed, and demoralized. While several parts of their life were going well, secretly, their finances were a mess. From the outside, everything looked somewhere between average and good. However, the truth is they were drowning from the weight of debt and other past financial decisions.

Despite all that, they seemed hopeful. Several of their friends had worked with me in the past, and, due to whatever stories they had been told, they felt a glimmer of encouragement. I walked them through the concepts and explained what it would take to get on the other side of this stressful mess. After about five minutes of me explaining a difficult yet simple plan, the wife looked at the husband and confidently exclaimed, "Well, why not us!?!?"

"Why not us?" Having a healthy (and positive!) relationship with money isn't reserved for the few people over there. It's open to all, and the only prerequisite is that we handle ourselves with discipline, determination, and focus. "Why not us?!?!" Gaining traction and building positive momentum is no small feat, and it requires much more than a little good fortune and a few good decisions. It takes intentionality, discipline, and the compounding effect of thousands of small decisions.

This couple is going to crush it. Do you want to know why I know that? Because they believe it. Sometimes, that's the spark that ignites the whole thing. On the flip side, the most surefire way to know someone won't win is because they don't believe they will win. It sounds silly, but it's true.

I've walked alongside countless families on this financial journey. Some have won.....some haven't. The common thread, more often than not, is if the couple (or person) sincerely believes winning is possible.

"Why not us?!?!" I think this should be our new rallying cry. In our work, in our families, in our money, in our hobbies, in our passions, and in our relationships.

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Just Ship It

I don't know why this caught my eye, but once it did, I couldn't ignore it. Immediately upon opening the app on my phone that helps me control my website, I saw something strange. It was a website visit to a page I didn't recognize. I clicked the link. Ohhhhhh, yeah, now I remember. It was a blog post that I wrote more than three years ago. I clicked "back."

Wait, what?!?! In total, 37 different blog posts were read on the website yesterday from eight different countries. I can't even begin to describe how weird that feels. People from all over the world are still reading pieces I wrote years ago. Were the pieces good? Not sure. Were these people positively impacted by what they saw? I hope so, I may never know. However, the fact that I somehow earned the opportunity to play a role in the life of a faraway stranger is something I never take for granted.

I know I say this a lot, but I can't encourage people enough to create. Just create. Whatever it is, bring it to life and send it into the world. Is it good? Who cares. Will it make an impact? There's only one way to find out.

Here's one thing I know. Regardless of how much impact I make with my creative endeavors during my life, it's going to make one heck of a treasure trove for my kids someday when I'm gone. By my math, there is somewhere in the range of 650,000 words of writing and 150 hours of podcasts floating around cyberspace. I don't know what my legacy will be from all that, but those who come after me can decide that.

Whatever your thing is, please don't hesitate to put it into the world. Share it. Someone out there needs and/or wants what you have to offer. Your good work might be the linchpin to someone else's next step. Without even knowing it, your idea, your inspiration, your gift, your art might be the gasoline to someone else's flickering flame.

It took me nearly 40 years to finally gain the courage to ship my art. I regret not doing it sooner, but now, with the benefit of hindsight after these past five years, I can confidently say it's the best thing I've ever done. I wish the same for you.

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Yeah, Definitely Didn't "Need" This

I have twin nine-year-old sons. One of them is a miniature version of me. We have a 99% overlap in interests, and as such, we naturally bond over these similarities. My other son? Well, if I'm being honest, we probably only have a 10% overlap in interests. He couldn't be more different from me, which can make bonding difficult at times. I love that little man to death, but we don't naturally gravitate toward each other.

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In a talk I gave earlier this week, I attempted to debunk the cultural myth that we shouldn't spend money on things "we don't need." It's a pervasive narrative hovering over us, causing shame, guilt, regret, and anxiety whenever we buy things that are simply wants. In other words, it sucks some of the joy out of life. I personally believe that spending some of our resources on wants is a critical part of the journey in creating a healthy relationship with money. Yes, we need to take care of our needs. Yes, we need to save. Yes, we need to give. Yes, we need to invest. But we also need to spend money on things that add value to our lives.

The truth is, I don't spend much of my personal spending money each month. A few books here, a couple coffees there, and maybe a few lunches with friends. However, in the spirit of making sure I don't become a hoarder incapable of spending on wants, I often bank mine for a period of time before purchasing a larger item.

Yesterday was my day! In an effort to find new ways to bond with my son while simultaneously utilizing my saved-up personal spending money, I purchased a 3D printer. $850! The kids' heads practically exploded when we picked it up from the store. I'll go out on a limb and say there's no "need" for an $850 3D printer…..or any 3D printer for that matter. However, that's what makes this money journey so much fun. It's not about need or not a need. It's about adding value to our lives, keeping everything in context with the broader plan.

Seeing the joy and wonder on my son's face, followed by the endless conversation and dreaming about what we can design and build together, is further affirmation that this financial expenditure will add so much value to our lives. I'm grateful for the opportunity to purchase this "want," and I look forward to much bonding time with my little guy.

Buck the myth. It's not irresponsible to spend money on things you don't need. Don't fall for the lie. Don't let shame, guilt, regret, and anxiety take hold of you. We can't have all the wants, but we can have some. Make sure your some includes things that truly add value to your life.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a life-size Lego head to print.

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Two Scared Little Boys

What comes to mind when you hear the word "Trees"?

For me, this word brings a rush of emotion. Funny, I know. Trees is the title of an iconic Twenty One Pilots song. For the past 15 years, nearly every live show has ended with this song. It's one of the most iconic endings to one of the most iconic live shows performed by (what I believe) is one of the most iconic bands in the world.

It's not just the song itself that makes it iconic, but how it's performed. There's a moment, right at the very end of the song, where both band members (Tyler and Josh) navigate into the crowd and perform dual drums. Then, right as the end nears, confetti rains from the sky. It's a euphoric ending to a breathtaking show.

Check out this image:

This is a photo from a live show approximately 15 years ago, in what appears to be someone's living room. You can see the dual drums of the Trees performance. I'd like to imagine that the dozen people in that room were as mesmerized then as I am now.

Now, check out this next image.

Same song. Same moment. Same dual drums. This time, though, they are in the midst of 65,000 loyal fans in a sold-out Mexico City stadium.

The juxtaposition of these two images gives me chills. 15 years, same song, same moment, same dual drums. It's the same, but at the same time, it might as well be on a different planet.

A movie is coming to theaters next weekend about this Mexico City show. Our family is eagerly awaiting its release, and we have an entire night planned around it. Yesterday, I stumbled upon a short video clip of the two band members explaining the movie. Josh was explaining everything you can expect to see. Then, suddenly, Tyler interrupts: "Let's be honest, the movie is about two scared little boys."

"Two scared little boys." That's a pretty wild thing to say for being one of the most successful bands of all time. They've performed thousands of shows worldwide, released eight albums, produced more than 50 music videos, and earned the trust of millions of fans. Yet, as they describe the show featured in the movie, they use the phrase "two scared little boys."

The fear doesn't go away. Fear shouldn't be the barometer by which we gauge our "yes" and "no" decisions. Rather, the presence of fear is a telltale sign that we're growing and making an impact.

The world says to pursue comfort, but I believe we should aggressively pursue discomfort. Not only discomfort, but pushing it far enough that we allow fear to be the sidekick I mentioned the last few days (HERE and HERE). I'll go out on a limb and say that Twenty One Pilots probably wouldn't have progressed much further than a house show with a dozen people if they let fear be the boundary of their decisions. Instead, they leaned into the fear, for 15 years and counting, to the point they are "two scared little boys" ripping out an iconic show in front of 65,000 fans whose lives have been impacted by their courage.

That's a story worth living, and we each have the opportunity to live our own version of it today.

Oh yeah, one last thing. If you want to see what all this Trees talk is about, below is an excellent version of the song performed at a live show. It’s one of my favorite music videos of all time.

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The Best Version of Ourselves

Yesterday's talk was a ton of fun! I thoroughly enjoyed my time with that organization, and I pray I made an impact on some of the people in attendance. During the post-talk Q&A, a woman asked me a profoundly deep question. "You mentioned in your talk that you fear regret. What else are you scared of? What keeps you up at night?"

That question surprised me, but I loved it! I told her (and the group) that one of my other fears, and something that occasionally keeps me up at night, is the fear of not being good enough. The fear of letting people down. The fear of not making the impact I'm called to make. It sounds an awful lot like yesterday's post. The deep anxiety I feel before public speaking can be directly tied back to my desire to do a great job. It's never that I lack confidence or feel unprepared, but a nervousness about whether I'll maximize my opportunity to make an impact.

Since yesterday's talk was virtual, I jumped into the group call about 10 minutes ahead of my scheduled slot. The group was finishing up another session. I didn't arrive soon enough to get the full context (nor could I share it here even if I had), but one gentleman said something profoundly important: "We need to be the best version of ourselves."

It's so dang easy (and unfair) to compare ourselves to the people ahead of us. I could easily (and unfairly) compare myself to the greatest entrepreneurs of our generation. I could easily (and unfairly) compare Northern Vessel to the top 10 coffee shops in the world. I could easily (and unfairly) compare my income with xyz ultra-wealthy friends. Those are easy comparisons to make, but to what end?

Notice how we rarely compare ourselves to people at or below our level, with less experience, or in a context that's relevant to our journey? Instead, we pick the highest possible comparison point......then feel like crap. It's the equivalent of a high school girl comparing herself to whichever TikTok influencer is hot right now. It's easy to do.....and oh so unfair.

Instead, the mission is clear. We simply need to be the best version of ourselves. Or, as we say at Northern Vessel, one percent better every day. I used to want to be this author or that podcaster, but as time has passed, I realized I just want to be the best version of me possible.

I'll take this entire idea one step further, and I'll die on this hill. We'll all be far more successful endeavoring to be the best version of ourselves than we'll ever be by trying to become someone else. The world doesn't need another that person. Instead, it needs the best version of you, the best version of me, and the best version of everyone else. I feel encouraged by that today, and I hope you do, too!

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Fear as a Sidekick

I'll be speaking at a company later this morning. Right on cue, the fear is creeping in. I knew it was coming, as it always comes right about now. And by "fear," I mean something that resembles absolute terror. Many people don't know this, but my professional speaking career began with my desire to overcome my overly dramatic fear of public speaking. While I still get nerves leading up to my speaking events, at least it no longer involves profuse vomiting into whatever trash can is nearby.

I don't know about you, but I live in some level of fear most weeks. Fear of failure. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of letting the other person down. Fear of not living up to my potential. The fear of not making the impact I'm called to make.

To be honest, I don't think there's anything weird or bad about this. In fact, I'll take it one more step. I think fear is a common ingredient for impact. If we look around and see all the progress, innovation, and productivity around us, most of it was created in the shadow of fear. Creation is scary. Impact is scary. Progress is scary. Thus, fear is often an organic sidekick when we go about our business.

I hope you're scared this week. I hope you endeavor to do something that scares the living daylights out of you. I hope you pursue fear in a way that will make a deep and meaningful impact on someone. Maybe it's a bit pitch at work. Maybe it's an important prospect meeting. Maybe it's a one-on-one with one of your direct reports (or your boss). Maybe it's a big test at school. Maybe it's a job interview. Maybe it's the next step in something you're trying to build. Whatever it is, lean into the fear headfirst and know it's not only normal, but natural. It means you care. It means you're pushing yourself. It means you're trying to make an impact in this world. Embrace the fear…it means you’re on the right track.

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The Value of a Pizza

"Dad, can we have pizza tonight?"

Ah, the common words of a nine-year-old. The boys were craving pizza last night. Since I, too, was kinda craving pizza, I wasn't about to fight the idea. "What should we get?" I asked.

Lots of ideas were tossed around, ranging from frozen pizza, to national chain to-go pizza, to local pizza shops. Ultimately, we (unsurprisingly) landed on our favorite local pizza shop. Additionally, there was one more request: "No pick-up. Let's eat there." Deal!

Pizza is one of those things that has a wide range of styles, quality, and prices. For example, we could have gotten a decent frozen pizza for $5-$7 or grabbed a national chain pizza for $10-$12. Instead, we paid $20 (plus tip) for a pizza....around $26 total. Was the local pizza 4-5x better than a frozen pizza? Was the local pizza 2.5x better than the national chain pizza? Probably not. It's pretty good pizza, don't get me wrong! We love this pizza. But 2.5-5x better than the alternatives? Not exactly.

It's not really about the pizza, though. Sure, we were there to eat a pizza. However, what we were really there for was an experience. We wanted to go to our spot, enjoy our time together, engage with the familiar staff, and create memories. We didn't pay $25 for a pizza......we paid $25 for an experience that happened to include a pizza.

We had a blast. We talked about all the fun things we did earlier in the day, and looked forward to the week ahead. It was a good time. The pizza was fantastic as well, but that wasn't the heart of the story.

Memories, experiences, adventure, and time with those we care most about. That's always worth investing in.

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She Time, Me Time

Sarah leaves for a cruise today. Yeah, just Sarah. The boys and I will be at home living our normal lives while Sarah and her friend bask in the Caribbean sun.

"It's really nice you let your wife do something like that," said one friend.

Another friend mentioned to me, "Zero chance this would fly in our house."

A third friend exclaimed, "I can't believe you’re okay with her going on vacation without you!"

These comments felt odd to me. I think it's amazing that Sarah is taking a week to get some rest and relaxation with a friend. She needs it. We all need time away! I also know that when the tables are turned, she will be just as supportive of me stepping away to get some rest.

Some people dwell on the financial aspect. After all, I make 99.9% of our family's income. And here Sarah is spending our travel money on herself while I'm stuck at home?!?! The keyword there is "our" travel money. We're a team. We do this together. The fact that we're able to afford her a fun trip with a friend is a blessing I don't take for granted. Further, I hold zero jealousy or resentment toward her for spending money on this. That's what the money is for!

I think it's critically important that we all find time to get away. It doesn't have to be a cruise. Often, my time away looks like a short 1-2 night trip to a nearby city for a personal retreat. I get lots of sleep, eat good food, watch movies, and write. I find this time to be a beautiful reset amidst an otherwise chaotic life.

I think we each need to find our own rhythm. However, the biggest obstacle standing in our way is often our spouse. Spouses, help your partner get some time. Not only should you not discourage it, but you should champion it. Initiate the idea. In many cases, our partners feel guilty leaving, and our encouragement is what's needed to give them the freedom to go.

I hope Sarah has a blast on her trip! In the meantime, the boys and I will have a great week here at home. Hope you have a great day!

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God Bless, Mr. Van Der Beek

I was floored. I opened Twitter a few days ago, only to discover that James Van Der Beek had passed away after a brief battle with cancer. As a '90s kid, Van Der Beek was everywhere. From Varsity Blues to Dawson's Creek to countless appearances everywhere else, James was a fixture of the time. Every girl wanted to date him, and every guy wanted to be him. He seemed invincible.

Maybe it's because of his position in my life during those formative years, or perhaps because he's only four years older than me, but his passing has sat heavily on me these past few days. It's yet another reminder of our mortality and the fragility of life. Also, as a father, it feels like a gut punch knowing he left behind six children ranging from 4 to 15 years old.

James hasn't played a meaningful role in my life for more than 20 years, but when I learned of his cancer battle a few years ago, I started watching his content. He's a sweet, introspective, and wise man. In just a short video clip, James has the ability to cut through the noise and offer insights that seem truly valuable. Today, I want to share one clip that has stuck with me for a few years. It's only fitting that I share his words today in celebration of his life.

I'm not going to provide any context or follow-up commentary, as I think James communicates it so eloquently. HERE’S THE VIDEO CLIP…..ENJOY!

Life is short. Pursue wins that matter. Don't lose sight of what's important. Have a great day.

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