It Cuts Both Ways

Whenever we think about budgeting, we tend to view it through the lens of "spend less." Sure, sometimes that can be true, but that's not the true intent of budgeting. At its best, budgeting is far less about spending less and more about spending better. It's creating a plan, executing said plan, and tracking how we did with said plan.

However, it always seems to come back to the idea that spending less is a win and spending more is a fail. I couldn't disagree more with this sentiment. If a client comes in $1,000 under budget, I tell them they failed. Why? Because they didn't honor their plan. If the plan is to spend $x, they need to spend $x. Therefore, my gauge of how successful someone is with their budget is how close they came to zero. I'd rather someone overspend on their budget by $200 than underspend by $1,000. It's like darts: the closest to the center wins.

Here's how it looks in my household. Last weekend, Sarah asked if we should go out to eat. "Let's look at the budget and find out," I replied. It turns out, for whatever reason, we still had $125 left in our dining out budget for the month. "Let's go out to eat tonight AND tomorrow!" That was great news for us, and the boys were doubly excited.

This is what it looks like to honor a budget. It's not about spending less; it's about spending better. If we negotiate that we are going to spend a certain amount on dining out, then we owe it to ourselves to make good on that promise. We can't blow past that amount, but we also can't fall way short of that amount, either.

It cuts both ways! Think about this idea next month as you create your monthly budget and attempt to execute the plan. Please don't look at your budget as some legalistic, fun-stealing rain cloud that hovers over your life, telling you "no." Instead, use it as the mechanism to bring your goals, aspirations, and motives to life......then live accordingly.

I promise you, if you commit to viewing your money through this it-cuts-both-ways lens, it will change your relationship with personal finance forever.

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Failure Is Our Friend

I'll start with the obvious: I'm beyond excited that my Iowa State Cyclones advanced to the Sweet 16 yesterday. I'm looking forward to Friday's game against Tennessee!

Since last Wednesday, 52 teams have experienced the pain, suffering, and embarrassment, on a national stage, nonetheless, of having their seasons come to a sudden end. All of their hopes, dreams, and aspirations came crashing down in a matter of minutes. Many of these players played in their very last collegiate game.....or last game, period. So much heartbreak.

At the same time, it's exactly what they signed up for. Achieving our dreams ALWAYS involves the risk of failure. There's nothing worth doing that doesn't require us to experience the pain, suffering, and embarrassment of failure. Ultimately, I think that's what makes March Madness so beautiful.

That goes for sport, but it's also what makes life so beautiful. Each day, when we get out of bed and step into the world, we should be pursuing something that involves the risk of failure. Two cars crashed through our storefront

Despite Northern Vessel appearing from the outside as a stunning success story, we've experienced so many failures since opening the shop more than three years ago:

• Two cars crashed through our storefront in a nine-month span.

• Our original bottle subscription program never lived up to our expectations and was eventually axed.

• The mobile app we spent so much time and money developing was discontinued.

• We failed on multiple in-store product offerings.

• Our canning operation was a complete failure, resulting in huge financial losses.

• There were stretches when our finances weren't as locked in (low margins, higher-than-expected overhead, extraordinary expenditures).

These things weren't just minor inconveniences. There was a stretch in early 2024 when there was a legitimate possibility we wouldn't make it as a company. Some of it was our fault, some was circumstantial, all of it was embarrassing! Ultimately, though, we needed to use our failures to make ourselves better. We never would have gotten to where we are today had we not been exposed to those failures. Learn, iterate, grow.

Failure is part of success. Without failure, there is no success. Without failure, there is no iteration. Without failure, there is no growth. Without failure, there is no better. While I'd prefer not to re-live or repeat those failures, in hindsight, they made us who we are today. I'll always appreciate it for that.

Please don't be scared of failure. Pursue it. Tease it. Live each day with the very real possibility that failure might stare you in the face. That's where the beauty unfolds.

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A Packed House

We celebrated the life and mourned the passing of my friend Chuck yesterday. It was one of the most beautiful services I've ever attended.

Typically, large funeral services are reserved for the young, the tragic, and dignitaries. At nearly 70 years old, my friend Chuck was none of those. However, as Sarah and I walked into the sanctuary, we were met with a packed house. I don't mean to sound hyperbolic, but attendance was closer to 1,000 than not. Anyone and everyone was there. As I scanned the crowd, I saw so many people that I never would have guessed even knew Chuck. People from all different areas of my life, gathering for a common purpose: To honor, celebrate, and say goodbye to an amazing man.

The irony of yesterday's service is that Chuck never lived in the spotlight. He was best known for his behind-the-scenes work, or, as I often think of it, leading from behind. He was the epitome of humility and God-honoring integrity, modeling it in every area of his life. One of the biggest lessons I've ever learned from him is that you don't need to be the loudest voice to make an impact. All that's required of us is to use whatever we have to serve those around us.

For Chuck, impact was the result of one conversation, one interaction, one act of service, one relationship at a time. For decades, he quietly moved the needle in people's lives. The result? Thousands of people mourn his loss. Thousands of people celebrate having known him. Thousands of people are better off for having learned from him. Thousands of people laugh as they share stories about him.

Chuck taught me one more thing yesterday. I want to live a life that warrants a packed house. I want to use whatever I have to serve others well. I want to live with humility and know that moving the needle in small ways can yield a large impact. I won't soon forget what I saw and experienced yesterday, and that's a great thing.

Chuck, you will be missed. Chuck, you will be remembered. Chuck, we will continue to share stories and laugh. Chuck, your impact will be felt for generations. Well done, good and faithful servant.

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$28 Ice Cream

"The biggest risk of racing to the bottom," says famed marketer Seth Godin, "is that you might win. Or worse, come in second."

Our family went on an ice cream run last night. We had several options to choose from, but ultimately, we selected one of the best shops in our city. Three of us got single scoops of ice cream in a cup, and one got a single scoop of ice cream in a standard cake cone. $28.

$28 for four scoops of ice cream?!?! Yeah, it was pretty awesome. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. The product was predictably phenomenal. The staff was patient with my kids and extraordinarily kind. The space was clean. We felt welcome. The vibe was fantastic.

We could have spent less money virtually any other place in our city, yet we willingly went there. Why? It's not about a race to the bottom......it's a race to excellence. This place practices excellence, and in return, people are willing to pay a premium price.

As you probably know, I think about this topic a lot. Northern Vessel is probably one of the highest-priced coffee shops in the entire state. Despite that, we were blessed yesterday with the opportunity to serve nearly 700 drinks. People surely don't come to NV for our unbeatable prices. I don't want to put words in people's mouths, but I hope they would say they come for some combination of world-class hospitality, consistently well-crafted drinks, some innovative practices, and high-energy vibes. It's not a race to the bottom....it's a race to excellence.

There are two ways businesses can create value for their customers and clients:

1. Reduce the price, thereby widening the gap between price and value.

2. Add more value, thereby widening the gap between price and value.

Both lead to the same theoretical place, but in practice, they couldn't be further apart. It takes no amount of excellence to cut prices or offer huge discounts. Even the worst product or service can be sold at a rock-bottom price. On the flip side, adding value requires that we inject excellence at some level (or levels) in the customer experience.

This message is two-fold. First, business owners, I hope you wholeheartedly reject the idea of racing to the bottom. You might just win, or worse, come in second. That race is a fast track to spinning your tires and burning out. Instead, add value, add value, add value. That can only be done through excellence.

Second, to the consumers (that's all of us!). Don't fall for the race to the bottom. Don't obsess about price. Yes, price matters, but it's not the be-all and end-all. Focus on value, and most often, the value that's created through excellence is where the real magic happens. That's the value that makes you smile, feel appreciated, gain confidence in your purchase decision, and know you're doing business with the right people. Seek out those interactions; turn them into relationships. It makes life richer!

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A Different Kind of Success

A theme has taken shape in my coaching over the last few weeks. Several families have recently endured a ton of "life." Yeah, let's call it "life." Job losses, medical emergencies, HVAC breakdowns, car problems, unexpected vet bills.....the list goes on. We're talking about thousands or tens of thousands of dollars worth of "life."

Needless to say, these couples are discouraged. They had so many goals. Debt payoff goals. Savings goals. Investing goals. Purchase goals. Giving goals. Whatever their goals were, using that money to absorb emergency after emergency wasn't on their wish list.

Despite all that, I view each of these couples as financially successful. Not successful in their established goals, but a different kind of success. In the past, each of these couples would have immediately resorted to debt to pay for these emergencies. The credit cards come out to play. The HELOC takes on a chunk. A new car loan would be in order. Not this time! Today, each of these couples can (and should!) hold their heads high and recognize the fact that they've experienced the brutal realities of life without incurring debt. That's a massive win in my book!!!

I pray each of these families gets back to some form of normal soon, but in the meantime, I will celebrate this massive success of taking multiple punches without punishing their future selves with the burden of debt.

Maybe you're in a season of achieving all the goals you set for yourself. But if not, and like these families, you're experiencing all the bluntness life has to offer, I hope you can create and celebrate a different kind of success. All wins are worth celebrating, even when winning means surviving the onslaught.

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One Number

Whenever someone asks me for financial advice, there's one number I immediately try to get from them to help me understand their approach to life and potential tension level. Want to guess what it is? Nope, not income. Nope, not debt balance. Nope, not retirement portfolio.

Their house payment as a percentage of their take-home income. Here's an example. If a family has a $2,200 housing payment (rent or mortgage) and a $7,000 take-home income, their number is approximately 31%. For me, that's the magic number. That number alone tells me most of what I need to know.

The higher that number is, the couple has fewer options, less margin, and probably a lot of stress/tension. The lower that number is, the couple has more options, improved margin, and probably a lot less stress/tension. Ideally, this magic number would be less than 25%, but in higher cost-of-living cities, it could be a bit higher.

If I meet with a couple who want to get right with money, but their number is 45%, that's a tough hill to climb. It's going to be awfully tough to pay off debt, set aside money for savings, give, and contribute to retirement. If one single category of life costs almost half of one's take-home income, it puts immense pressure on all the other areas of life. Some would call that being "house poor."

Conversely, if I meet with a different couple who want to get right with money, but their number is 15%, they have a multitude of options! With that level of margin on their largest expense, there's likely money to spare for other, more important categories. Debts can get repaid. Savings can be built. Investments can gain momentum. Generosity can flow. So many options!

I regularly have people tell me that this number isn't a choice. Rather, it's just a reflection of an uncontrollable reality. Never before has that myth been as front and center as it was a few weeks ago, when I met with two couples on the same day. Both couples live in the same town and have similar household incomes (approximately $9,000/month take-home income). One couple's monthly housing payment is $1,800 (20%), and the other's is $4,200 (47%).

Same income, same town! Here's the kicker. The couple with the $4,200 payment, which equates to 47% of their take-home income, was insistent that they are merely a victim of the times. There's nothing they can do to lighten the load, they claim. The other couple, with an $1,800 house payment that accounts for 20% of their take-home income, shared that they intentionally chose to live below their means so they could build a strong financial foundation and follow their callings.

One final thought. Nothing is permanent. If you're in one living situation, there's no law on the books that says you must stay there. Often, this single (weighty) decision can be the inflection point for so much amazing life change. Don't let the world convince you that you're merely a victim of circumstance. Yes, crap happens. Yes, we might be on the receiving end of some negative outcomes. However, that doesn't have to cement your fate.

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Presents vs. Presence

One of my good friends, a sincerely good man, is facing a quandary. He doesn't see it that way, but I do. Here's the short version of the story. He's in the midst of a multi-year work assignment that's crushing him. 80-hour weeks, endless travel, and a stress level that boggles the mind. But does he enjoy the work or find meaning in it? Nope, none whatsoever. Well, then, why in the world is he subjecting himself (and his family) to this ongoing reality?

"I want to be able to give my kids ______." His tone immediately shifted from work and back to his kids. He wants to provide his kids with the good life. Material possessions, a high standard of living, and story-worthy trips. He wants his kids to have the childhood he never had. In other words, he wants to take society's idealized version of the American dream and transplant it into his kids.

After much ranting, he asked me what I thought about the topic (knowing that I have these kinds of conversations with people every day). "Your kids want presence, not presents."

I'm sorry, parents, but your kids don't give a crap about the material trappings of this world. They may say things that lead you to believe they do, but ultimately, they just want you present in their lives. Period.

As a culture, we need to start asking ourselves what's really important. Do we really want to train our children to believe that the be-all and end-all is money, stuff, and status? People's immediate reaction to that question is probably, "Of course not, idiot!" However, if those same people were to look in the mirror and ask themselves what their actions are saying (and modeling to their kids), they might be communicating a different message than desired.

I recently turned down a ridiculous financial windfall. It was an opportunity to do really cool work for a LOT of money. It was flattering. My ego kinda enjoyed it. It sounded sexy. A tiny materialistic piece of me desperately wanted to say yes. The answer was a resounding "no." Presence over presents. I can't allow myself to deviate from the mission, and one of those missions is to be a present and engaged father.

Everyone is dealing with their own realities and situations. Nothing is simple. Nothing is black-and-white. You might face financial pressures. You might feel the tension. Other considerations might be in play. Regardless of where you're at and what's on the table for you, if you're a parent, please don't believe the lie that presents are more important than presence. Presence will win every single time.

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The Perils of Mental Segregation

About six years ago, one of my close friends asked me for some high-level financial advice. As they explained the structure of their household finances, the wife said, "His income is used to pay the bills, and my income is used for travel and fun stuff."

This is the world's biggest red flag in my book. Whenever we start attributing specific purposes to specific income streams, we've set ourselves up to fail (both financially and relationally). No, his income isn't used to pay the bills. No, her income isn't used for travel and fun. Their collective income is used to pay the bills, travel, and do fun things.

Now, you might say that I'm parsing words here, but please track with me for a second. What happens if he loses his job or takes a meaningful pay cut? The weight of keeping the household afloat rests solely on his shoulders. Conversely, what if she loses her job or takes a meaningful pay cut? The weight of the family's financial enjoyment rests solely on her shoulders.

There's one more factor at play. What if she one day desires to stay at home with her kids? They both brushed off that notion, definitively stating that it would never happen. Can you guess where this story is going? Recently, she decided that she has a deep desire to stay at home with their young children. Unfortunately, they never recalibrated their perspective on income allocation, and they are in a bind.

If she quits her job, all wants will be wiped from their budget. Why? "His income is used to pay the bills, and my income is used for travel and fun stuff." They've maintained that mindset up to the present, and it's biting them hard. At some point in the journey, it also transcends from a mindset to an actual reality. If they believe his income is used to pay for the bills (which they have), then they will structure their basic needs to run all the way up to his income. Therefore, there's little margin remaining to absorb the wants if her income decreases.

Tension. Fighting. Tears. Broken dreams. Talks of the D-word. They are in such a tough spot right now, all for something that could have been righted years ago. They specifically asked if I would write about this so "at least some good might come from it." Request granted.

Where do they go from here? In my mind, they have two paths:

1. She gives up her dream and calling. This option sucks.

2. They completely recalibrate their view of income. From now on, all there is is money in and money out. "Our income, our expenses." Then, they must make some major sacrifices to free up cashflow on their basic needs (to allow at least a marginal level of wants). This option sucks, too, but they will one day look back and thank their younger selves for doing it.

Please heed their cautionary tale. Any time you find yourself thinking something along the lines of "this income will be used for _____," you're barking up the wrong tree. Instead, add that income to the pot, then make a holistic decision for the entire pot that's best for the family.

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Tell the Others

One of my friends recently reached out to me. It was an unexpected, but fun conversation. In short, this individual wanted to thank me for being such a strong advocate for their business. Contextually, this person said I'm responsible for them making "hundreds of thousands of dollars over the years" (a fact I wasn't previously aware of). After a huge statement of gratitude was made, they added the following: "We feel bad that you haven't made anything from all of this. You deserve so much, and haven't received a thing in return for all you've done."

They couldn't be more wrong. They don't realize it, but I've received so much from them. No, not actual compensation. Not financial rewards. Not some tangible signal that I've done something. Rather, I've received an even better reward. The people I care about have been served well, with excellence, and their lives are better for having been introduced to this amazing business. That IS the reward.

That's what makes the relentless pursuit of excellence so powerful. Ultimately, people don't want to "support small business." They want to be served excellently, and if it happens to be from a small business, great! When push comes to shove, people are agnostic with their own money and patronage. They'll spout platitudes on social media about "supporting small" and "supporting local," but their money eventually gravitates toward excellence.

Is it true my friend has made hundreds of thousands of dollars from my advocacy? I'll take them at their word that it's true. That's not my fault, nor do I deserve credit. Their excellence deserves the credit. Their excellence drew me in, then their continued excellence caused me to tell the people in my life about them. That's how excellence works: it spreads, it multiplies, it overpowers everything else.

People don't need compensation to be advocates of excellence. Watching their people receive excellence IS the reward. We shouldn't need to be guilted into patronizing businesses. We shouldn't feel bad about spending money at national companies. What should (and does) make us feel like crap is spending our hard-earned money on companies that don't practice excellence (whether the smallest of small businesses or the largest of large).

Here's my challenge for you today. If you've found excellence in your life (excellent services, excellent products, excellent brands, excellent restaurants, etc.), tell the others. Let people know about your discovery. The most selfish thing we can do is keep the good news to ourselves, and the most generous thing we can do is tell the others. Therefore, tell the others!

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Alternatives

My son Pax has been dead set on buying a pair of $125 Oakley sunglasses. I've been careful not to poop on his aspirations, but I've secretly been hoping he would eventually change his mind. $125 for a pair of sunglasses is a lot for an adult, never mind a third grader. The good news is that it takes a 9-year-old a long time to save up $125. As of this weekend, he was sitting on about $102.....close but not close enough.

Without explicitly saying it, I think he's been feeling the weight of this prospective purchase. He's experiencing just how much work is involved in saving for a single pair of $125 sunglasses. Then, yesterday happened. As we walked through Dick's Sporting Goods, he caught sight of a cool pair of sunglasses. He beelined it to the display and hurried to try on a few pairs.

Just a few minutes later, he decided to pull the trigger. $45. Just like that, he had an awesome pair of sunglasses he loved, plus $57 of cash leftover from his sunglasses fund. He found the perfect alternative, and it beautifully propelled him forward.

Not the style I would have chosen, but he loves them!

This is such an important topic for each of us to confront. Often, we get locked into a particular plan. We concede that something will cost a certain amount of money, time, energy, or sacrifice. For whatever reason, we develop tunnel vision and build our reality around this way being the absolute unyielding truth.

What are the alternatives, though? I recently met with a couple who are having brutal car issues. Their current vehicle is starting to absorb large chunks of repair money. What should they do? In their minds, there is only one option: purchase a new vehicle, which will cost between $55,000-$65,000. That's it. That's their fate.

What about alternatives? There are no alternatives, they exclaimed! Continue eating big repair bills, or buy a new car. In their situation, said new car would require a huge loan with a huge monthly payment. Oh well, they thought, it's their new reality. Tunnel vision set in.

It took a few conversations, but fortunately, they started to see some alternatives taking shape. After a few months had passed, they elected to purchase a reliable used vehicle that a) eliminates the repair issues they were dealing with, and b) avoids the painful cost of the debt that a new vehicle would surely create. They had the same look on their faces as Pax had yesterday when he purchased his alternative sunglasses: Relief, contentment, and peace.

Life is filled with alternatives.....if we're willing to look. When I look back at my adult life, some of the best purchases and decisions I've made were actually alternatives to the primary plan I set for myself. Whether knowingly or unknowingly, my eyes were opened to a better, more effective alternative. Each time that happens, I could feel my life propel forward. Relief, contentment, peace.

Always look for the alternatives.

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You Don’t Have to Play Their Game

One of my favorite subgenres on social media is the one where people whine and cry about how much businesses rip them off. Chipotle is probably my favorite. A jacked dude is sitting in his car, saucing up the fat burrito he just purchased. As he's preparing to take his first bite, he's complaining about how it's absurd that two burritos cost $37. Chipotle never used to cost this much, he exclaims. It's highway robbery! He takes a giant bite into his juicy burrito, then complains some more.

Chipotle, Five Guys, Disney World, new cars, airport restaurants, drinks in clubs, Ticketmaster, etc. There's no end to the complaining people do for decisions they voluntarily and willingly make.

One of my friends was recently lamenting the fees charged by Ticketmaster. He goes on and on and on about it. "Did you enjoy the show?" I asked. "Yeah, it was amazing!!!" "Would you do it again?" "Yeah, in a heartbeat." So, what's the problem?

Here's a little encouragement. You don't have to play their game. If you don't like the price of Chipotle, don't go. Simple as that. If it's really that big of a ripoff, then don't go. Go to one of the hundreds of dining alternatives. But if you're still going to go, own it. If you're willingly going to pay $18 for a fast-food burrito, embrace it. Enjoy it; savor it. Don't whine about it.

This is a wild part of behavioral science that I'm increasingly fascinated by. In a world where we have near-unlimited choices, we're intentionally (and repeatedly) choosing to go to XYZ businesses, then continuously whining about how big a ripoff they are. It's bonkers!

You don't have to play their game. If I think somewhere is a ripoff, I don't go. If I think something is a ripoff, I don't buy it. In the event I do willingly purchase something that's questionably a ripoff, I own it. I made that choice. There was no gun to my head. We look awfully ridiculous when we make a choice to do something, then become a victim of said choice.

If you want to slam that burrito, slam that burrito. If you want to avoid that place, avoid that place. In the words of a wise mentor, "Let your yes be yes, and your no be no."

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Someone Else’s Dream

Do you ever find yourself wishing to be in someone else's shoes? Sure, life is fine, but if only I had that person's life! I can think of so many times these sorts of thoughts have gone through my head. I think about my friend in Dubai who parks his Lamborghini in his kitchen (professionally washed and waxed each night, of course). Or my former colleague in Los Angeles County who hates Los LA traffic so much that whenever we left his house, it was via his private rooftop helipad. Or my friends who, when we go to a restaurant together, don't even look at the right side of the menu!

It's so easy to look at our own life, then look at someone else's, and wish we could step into their shoes. There's no shortage of jealousy in this world, and it doesn't take much to ignite it in us, does it?

Last night, while in a coaching meeting, one of my clients said something that stopped me in my tracks. We were talking about the sacrifices this couple has made over the years to get them to where they are today. It hasn't been easy, but it was oh so worth it. Then, she dropped this bomb:

"We are living someone else's dream."

Read that again. She is living someone else's dream. I'm living someone else's dream. You're living someone else's dream. Regardless of where we're at in life, we're living someone else's dream. By definition, that means we're blessed.

I can meet with a couple who says, "Our lives would be so much better if we could get there!"

Then during my next meeting, I'll be with a couple who is already there. "Our lives would be so much better if we could get THERE!"

Then during my next meeting, I'll be with a couple who is already THERE. "Our lives would be so much better if we could get THERE!!!!!!!!!"

See, each one of these couples is already living someone else's dream, but at the same time, they take it for granted because they just want to get to that next rung on the proverbial ladder.

You're living someone else's dream. I encourage you to spend a few minutes pondering that idea today.

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Focus, In Practice

Crush one thing, then move on to the next. That was the subject of yesterday's post. Focus is a weird thing, and often difficult for us humans to execute. After all, there are many things vying for our time, attention, energy, and resources. However, whether we like it or not, there's simply not enough time, attention, energy, or resources to attack everything.

Today, I want to share some real-life examples of how this concept works through the lens of personal finance. The most common and notable version of this concept I see people shortchanging themselves is debt. Specifically, the payoff of debt. When we try to pay all our debts off at once, we'll likely pay none of them off.

Here's an example of what this looks like, using some nice round numbers for simplicity's sake. A family has ten $1,000 debts, totaling $10,000. This couple determines that it can afford to pay $1,000/month extra toward the debt (above the minimum payments).

Conventional wisdom says that if they pay $100/month toward each debt, they can have their debt paid off after 10 months! That's exciting!!! Here's what that looks like in practice, though:

• After 1 month: 0 debts paid off

• After 2 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 3 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 4 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 5 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 6 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 7 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 8 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 9 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 10 months (if everything went perfectly): 10 debts paid off

The gap between month zero and month 10 feels massive. Grinding month after month after month without feeling a tangible win is terrible. Inevitably, life happens, expenses pop up, or they get sidetracked. Failure is likely. Not because they didn't have it in them, but because they lacked focus. Discouragement sets in. A sense of defeat saturates them. Quitting is on the table.

Let's try this again, but with focus as the primary objective. Instead of paying $100/month toward 10 different debts, they decide to focus all $1,000/month on one debt each month. Here's what that strategy looks like:

• After 1 month: 1 debt paid off

• After 2 months: 2 debts paid off

• After 3 months: 3 debts paid off

• After 4 months: 4 debts paid off

• After 5 months: 5 debts paid off

• After 6 months: 6 debts paid off

• After 7 months: 7 debts paid off

• After 8 months: 8 debts paid off

• After 9 months: 9 debts paid off

• After 10 months: 10 debts paid off

Will life still get in the way? Probably. However, look at those wins! Almost immediately, this family would experience and benefit from wins. From a psychological perspective, wins matter. Getting a win provides much-needed encouragement, confidence, and motivation to not only keep going, but even step on the gas harder.

This one small shift in perspective can be the difference between complete failure and world domination. Same dollars, same timeline, same commitment. Different focus, different results.

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Crush One Before Another

Our Northern Vessel ownership team recently decided that I need to take on a larger role within the company. I was already active behind the scenes and had a part-time, finance and operations role for the last 15 months. However, as the business grows and evolves, we need more of many things. After much convincing from TJ (our founder), I agreed to step in deeper.

Younger me would have thought the best course of action was the full implementation of all the great ideas on day one. Full bore, 100% force on everything from the get-go. However, after much experience (and the harshest of hard lessons), I've wisely learned that's a terrible approach. Instead, my best advice to the team (and to TJ) is to ease our way into the first initiative.

In our particular situation, given the sheer number of people we serve each day, inventory management is critical. However, we purchase hundreds of different items for our shop. Old me would have attempted to gain control of each of these products at the same time.....ouch. What's about the transpire is a staging. First, the big rocks of our business: coffee beans, milk, and serving containers (cups/cans/bottles). These three items are critical to our operation, and failure to manage these well will result in product outages, waste, warehouse storage shortages, or destructive margins, all of which are harmful to the business.

Dozens of initiatives need to be completed, yet we're focusing 100% of our attention on getting better control of coffee, milk, and containers. That's it. If done well, just that will have a transformative impact on the business. Once we gain traction, we'll take the newly learned best practices and incorporate our other inventory items. Then, once that's knocked out, we'll move on to another important initiative.

No, the entire point of this piece isn't to wax about coffee inputs. We need to focus! I often meet with clients who think the best idea is to implement every idea from the start. Many of my coaching concepts are counter-cultural in and of themselves, so trying to completely shift how we're viewing and handling finances in every single way, all at once, is a wildly terrible idea.

This month, we'll incorporate this. If successful, we'll add something next month. If all continues smoothly, we'll add the next piece. Before long, ten new ideas have been successfully implemented. On the flip side, if we try to implement all ten of these ideas right away, we might strike out completely.

Make one change today. Just one. Commit to it. Give yourself grace, but keep at it. AFTER you've locked it in, add another. Repeat. This applies to personal finances, for sure, but also to so many other areas of our lives.

To be continued....

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Simplify, Simplify, Simplify

One of the biggest myths in the personal finance space is the idea that in order to be financially successful, one must have sophisticated or complex finances. In most cases, the opposite is true. Simple wins.

I recently sat down with a couple to help them understand their financial structure. However, it took me a while to understand it before I could even help them understand it. Money was coming and going every which way, and they had bank accounts coming out of their ears. They practically needed a treasure map to adequately interpret the lay of the land.

When I explained to this couple how I structure my personal finances and how I coach other families to do it, they looked shocked. How in the world can it be that simple?!?! After having a similar conversation with two more people yesterday, I thought I'd share it with a wider audience. Want to know just how simple this can be? I'll show you the base structure for day-to-day finances that works fantastically for most couples:

• ONE Joint Checking Account. This is the account to which all income flows in, and all expenses flow out. Each person has a debit card tied to this checking account.

• ONE Emergency Fund. This is a savings account tied to the above checking account. The purpose of this money is to save us in the event of an emergency. It may not earn much interest, but the money can be accessed at a moment's notice, when life punches.

• Sinking Funds. A few named savings accounts are used to save for specific categories. Car, house, travel, and medical are common categories. These are future expenditures that cannot always be absorbed via the monthly budget (such as the $1,600 car repair bill I experienced yesterday). Sinking funds can be housed at the same institution as the two accounts above, but they don't have to be.

That's it. Seriously, if all you have are those accounts, you're positioned to be more successful than 90% of people out there. It's the introduction of credit cards, multiple checking accounts, and random, unpurposeful savings accounts that complicate things. In my professional experience, every layer of complexity that gets stripped away brings people closer to their money.....and ultimately, their goals.

I suspect I'll take some heat for this one, but after working with hundreds of families and diving into the behavioral science of these concepts, I'll die on this hill. Simplify, simplify, simplify. There's no way to outsmart simple. When we spend less time thinking about what goes where and more time on trying to live a meaningful life, the finances become the easiest thing in the world.

You don't have to fully buy into this idea, but I challenge you to simplify one thing in your finances this month. If it makes your life better or easier, simplify one more next month. Repeat. I don't think you'll regret it.

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Don’t Wait

One of our close friends has been sick. Due to life's many circumstances, we haven't seen them much in the past year. Then, as a result of my neck/cognitive injury, it felt like two months of my life were stripped away from me. Recently, while I was out of state for work, I learned that my friend's condition had worsened. I was excited to connect with my friend upon my return.

Yesterday's plan was to spend time with my kids at Northern Vessel, then text my friend to see if we could come visit later in the day. However, while sitting with my kids at NV, I was stunned by the news that my friend had passed away. I sat there, stunned. Sarah broke out in tears. I tried to keep my composure for the kids, but the truth is, I felt broken.

It's well-documented on this blog over the years that I have one specific fear in life: regret. Above all other things, I fear regret. I'm not sure there's any other way to say this, but I'm probably going to take this regret to the grave with me. This one feels soul-crushing.

Yes, life happens. Yes, tragedy lurks around every corner. Yes, circumstances in and around our lives make things complicated. Yes, we're all too busy. All that is true, but don't wait. Never wait. I waited. I waited too long. I will forever carry that one with me.

Despite the gut-wrenching regret I feel, a new season is upon us. Self-loathing won't cut it. A pity party does no good. I have a friend who just lost the love of her life. My prayer is that she is loved and cared for, and that I can be the friend she deserves.

There is much to say about my friend and the legacy he leaves behind, but that shall wait for a future, more celebratory post. He lived a beautiful, God-honoring life, and while I wish I had said goodbye face-to-face, I hope he knows just how much he impacted me over these past 15 years.

Don't wait. Please don't wait.

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The Minions Learned the Hard Way

Like every spring, the tornadoes are upon us here in the Midwest. When the crazy storms hit the other night, and the kids experienced their predictable freak-out, we gathered in the basement to ease their fears. I took advantage of that time by snuggling with them in the guest bedroom and watching a movie on the portable projector: Minions!

I hadn't seen that movie in ages, and as expected, it was silly. Something stood out to me, though. In the opening scene, the Minions bounced from serving one evil entity to the next. From the T-Rex, to ancient Egypt, to Napoleon. Then, while between evil masters, they found refuge in this little utopic ice den. They created a sanctuary for themselves, built beautiful shelters, and lived their lives in comfort and safety.

Then, something happened. They got depressed. Too much of a good thing became a very not good thing. Endless fun, games, relaxation, and safety lost their luster, and they literally became depressed. The narrator stated, "Without a master, they had no purpose." In their world, a master represented a boss, and through the boss, they had work. Without work, they had no purpose. They didn't need money. It wasn't a necessary evil (no pun intended). Work wasn't a means to an end. The work, in and of itself, was the meaning.

I think this is such a beautiful metaphor for what we talk about on this blog and on the podcast. Work has meaning; it matters. We weren't created to be idle, living our little lives of leisure. We were created to be productive, add value, and pursue purpose. Sure, we're probably not all called to serve evil villains, but we're called to serve someone. We're probably not called to steal the British Royal Family's Crown Jewels, but we are called to be productive in some other ways.

Leisure is great, in doses. Comfort is great, in doses. Relaxation is great, in doses. All of these things are tremendously valuable, and equally important......in doses. However, when they become THE pillars of our lives, we lose meaning and purpose.

The Minions learned the hard way, but luckily, we don't have to. Meaning and purpose can take a million different shapes, but I guarantee it looks different than the endless pursuit of leisure, comfort, and relaxation.

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To What End?

I wrote two other pieces this morning, neither of which may ever see the light of day. Ultimately, they seemed a little too spicy. While I'm not opposed to pushing a little harder and risking a mini wave of unsubscribes, I always try to ask myself an important question: "To what end?"

We live in a culture that tells us to say anything and everything we want. Say it like it is. Be honest, even if it hurts. Say what needs to be said. Stand up for what you believe in. Draw a line in the sand. We've taken those sentiments and ratcheted them to an entirely new level. We'll verbally bludgeon someone into the dirt if we disagree with their opinion about Taco Bell's newest menu item! There's no limit to the amount of spouting off we do these days. But to what end?

Yes, I like to challenge people. Yes, I regularly push against our culture. Yes, I'm constantly trying to bend the needle for what we consider normal. However, it doesn't do any good for me (or anyone!) to just spout off with any and every comment imaginable.

Here's a rhetorical question. How many people do you think have completely changed their minds about a topic after seeing a loved one write a long, scathing social media post about how terrible someone or something else is? Very few, I'd suspect. Why, then, are we all so quick to burn all the bridges in the name of "standing up for what we believe in?"

Yes, we should stand up for what we believe in. There are some versions of that taking shape every day when I write this blog and record the podcast. But just lighting a torch on people isn't an effective approach. Sure, it might feel good for a few hours, but then we have to clean up the pieces from the damage we caused. Or, in some situations, mourn the loss of relationships, influence, and impact.

To what end? For me, this is a critical question to answer each day. I so badly want to bend the needle in people's lives and constantly push back against our prevailing culture. There's a dignified (effective) way, and a gross (tremendously ineffective) way.

I hope I continue earning the right each day to challenge you and make you think. You might not always agree with me (and that's okay!), but I hope you see a sincerity and dignity in my approach. I don't always get that part right, but I sure try. I hope you do the same. People need your relationships, influence, and impact. Please don't throw it away or burn it to the ground. It's not worth losing all that trust and goodwill for a few moments of dopamine-inducing, anger-filled rantings.

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Reminder

I gotta admit, I rarely feel like I have this whole life thing figured out. I wake up, try to make whatever impact I can, squeeze every ounce of meaning out of the moment I can, then repeat. I live an amazing life, and I'm grateful for every single bit of it, but I sometimes go to bed wondering if I actually moved the needle today.

Finn, one of my third graders, has a dress-up day today with the following theme: "Who or what you want to be when you grow up." What do you think he chose? A firefighter? A "mowin' man"? A professional athlete? Nope, he's dressing as me. He’s going to school dressed as his Dad! Wow, just wow! That pulled on the heartstrings, for sure! What does dressing up as Dad entail? Well, according to Sarah, he's wearing a Northern Vessel hat, a shacket, casual boots, and a Chicago Bears shirt. Not bad!!!

I still don't know what impact I've made recently, but Finn really put me in my place there. It's a reminder that while I'm out there in the world trying to move the needle in people's lives, I'm still investing in those two little lives at home, too. And oddly enough, it's working!

I'm not sure if Finn will try to accessorize with a podcast mic or a cold brew latte in hand, but it will be interesting to find out! I'll try to share a pic one of these days. In the meantime, don't miss those little reminders that you are, in fact, moving the needle in people's lives.....especially those living under your roof. Wake up, make a difference, find meaning, repeat. Enjoy!

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Ridiculous or Not

One of my friends caught wind of something "ridiculous" my wife spent money on. I'm not sure whether he heard it from his wife or from me, but he's right: Sarah's purchase did fall into my definition of "ridiculous."

"Why would you let her spend money on x thing that you don't even agree with? I would have just said no."

Are any spouses seething yet? Good, let the anger soak in for a moment.

Here was my two-fold response:

First, I don't "let" her do anything. Our financial decisions are joint, and she has just as much say as I do. I don't give her an allowance like a child. She negotiates for what she believes is important when we construct our monthly budget.

Which brings me to my second point. If it's important to her, it's important to me......period. Even if I think something is ridiculous (and I often do with Sarah!), that doesn't matter. If it moves the needle for her, I must support her in that. Therefore, when it's important to her, it's important to me. Something fun happens when we take that posture: It gets reciprocated. I promise I spend money on things that Sarah thinks are absolutely ridiculous, too. But just like me, she supports my ridiculousness because it's important to me.

Yes, we should have financial unity in marriage. I'll 100% die on that hill. It's critical to a successful marriage and to successful household finances. That doesn't mean both spouses will value every expenditure equally. Some expenditures will be more your thing, and others will be more your partner's thing. That's okay! That's what makes you a team, and that's what it looks like to sacrifice for each other.

So, yes, I suspect Sarah will continue to desire "ridiculous" purchases. I'll support her every step of the way. If it's important to her, it's important to me.

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