Outgrowing Your Structure

I recently met with a couple who are becoming progressively more frustrated with their finances. This seems counterintuitive, though, as they are making far more money than they ever have before. Why, then, are they getting frustrated? It's pretty simple: The current complexity of their life has outgrown their financial structure.

Translation: The way they used to handle finances worked well then, but not so much anymore. It was easy to wing it and be more casual when there was less income and fewer obligations. However, life is getting more complicated, and the old way of doing things seems inadequate at best, destructive at worst.

It reminds me of a similar situation we're having at Northern Vessel. Nearly four years in, it's safe to say our business looks a little different than it once did. During a recent team dinner (celebrating one of our team members who left to pursue a new dream), it was time to pay the bill. TJ couldn't be there, so it was on me to pay. Unfortunately, I forgot to ask TJ for the debit card. At the last second, Jack swooped in to pay the bill, somehow having TJ's card in his wallet.

That's right, we literally have only one debit card. The entire company has been operating with one debit card and one checkbook. We have tens of thousands of dollars in monthly expenses, yet the entire operation rests on one debit card and one checkbook. We've outgrown our structure, and we're experiencing the consequences.

Whether it's the family I mentioned above or a company like Northern Vessel, we must iterate on the structure as we grow. What once worked might not be adequate in the new season of being. Taking the "this is the way we've always done it" approach is a surefire way to end up in a bad place. Therefore, we need to give ourselves permission to evolve, adjust, and continue to find better ways to handle ourselves.

Some of you are handling your family's finances the same way you did when you were young, single, broke, and fresh out of college. Except now, you have a spouse, kids, a house, and multiple incomes. It might be time to update the structure! For some of you, simply upgrading the way you do things might be the ticket to significantly better outcomes. It doesn't matter if you've done it the same way for 20 years.....it might be time to adjust.

Never be scared to make changes. As life becomes more complicated, find ways to simplify and find order amidst the chaos. You'll thank yourself later!

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What’s Your Weird?

People frequently tell me that I'm "weird" in how I spend money. I never take offense to these comments. In fact, I love them! I wear them as a badge of honor, and in some ways, they tell me I'm right where I need to be. Here are some examples of things people have told me I'm weird for doing:

• When it comes to my personal residence, I'm a perpetual renter. I've owned two houses in my adult life, but I much prefer renting over owning.

• The biggest category in our household budget is giving. This is non-negotiable.

• Our second-largest category is travel. This is also a non-negotiable.

• I will gleefully spend a few hundred dollars on a first-class meal. I've had $25 dinners that felt expensive and $250 dinners that felt cheap. An amazing meal is worth its weight in gold.

• There's no amount of money too much when it comes to creating once-in-a-lifetime memories.

• When I'm at a coffee shop, restaurant, or bar with someone, I almost always offer to pay for them.

• If someone offers to buy my coffee, meal, or drink, I accept.....always. No exceptions.

• When eating at a sit-down restaurant, the minimum I’ll tip is 20%, but it’s usually closer to 40%-50% if the server demonstrates excellence. It’s one of the few areas of life where people will gratefully accept generosity, so I love to lean into it as much as possible.

• I will never purchase a new vehicle. In fact, I've never purchased a new vehicle. At best, any vehicle I purchase is probably at least 3-4 years old.

• I will always pay for services that save me time, sanity, or stress.

What say you? Do you find these weird? I hope so, as you're different than me. That's what makes this money stuff so fascinating. We're all wired differently, heavily influenced by our experiences, values, upbringing, and circumstances.

I want to know what weird money habits you have. Please hit reply to this e-mail if you're a subscriber, or comment below if you're on the website. Please share your quirks with me. If enough people reply, I'll put together a fun little list and share it in a future post. Have an awesome (and weird!) day.

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There Are No Secrets

After a recent public speaking engagement, during the customary Q&A session, someone asked an interesting question: "I heard you've written and published your writing more than twelve hundred days in a row. First, is that true? If so, what are your secrets?"

Every day since November 14th, 2022. Pushing nearly 1,400 days now. It hurts my head to think about that. It doesn't feel real; it doesn't feel possible.

The secret is there are no secrets. As I've learned about writing, and the same goes for almost any discipline, the only way to write is to write. The only way to publish is to publish. What is required of me is to sit down in front of a screen and create.

Follow-up question: "Do you write a bunch at once and batch it for the next several days?"

No batching. One piece of writing per day, every day, no exceptions. There's something wild that happens inside us when we eliminate the excuses and just commit to the craft. It strips away any and all shortcuts and shortcircuits that could potentially sabotage the habits we're trying to create. I write because I write because I write. At some point, these habits become as normalized and as common as brushing our teeth or tying our shoes. It's just what we do.

Here's another way to think about it, back to my comment above about how it doesn't feel real or possible to write nearly 1,400 days in a row. The good news is I didn't have to write 1,400 pieces. I just had to write one. Then another one. Then another. I'm writing one today. Then tomorrow, I'll write one, too. The only one that matters is the next one. There's a freedom in that! Whatever we're trying to accomplish, just worry about the next one. After that one is done, we can worry about what lies on the other side of that one.

So many people have so many dreams. But those dreams seem daunting, maybe even impossible. You don't need to accomplish all those dreams in one fell swoop. You only need to accomplish the next thing that's sitting in front of you. Then, move on to the next.

I recently had a buddy run a marathon. Running 26.2 miles boggles my mind, so I asked him how he approaches it. "It usually takes me about 40,000 steps to complete it. It's too overwhelming to think about 40,000 steps, so I just try to focus on the next step. If I can stay focused and use good technique for the next step, eventually, the next step will be the 40,000th step. It just kinda happens."

The next step. The next step is all that matters. That's the secret. There are no secrets. Just one foot in front of the other, whether literally or figuratively. Have a great day!

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The 20-Year Reverse Age Gap

One of my friends retired two years ago at 53. He's one of those men who always seemed younger than his age. He had a little extra pep in his step; another gear. Perhaps that's what made him so successful in his career, leading him to a point where he could afford to retire at age 53. Boy, was he ever dreaming for that day to come!!! He couldn't wait to peace out and stop working. For the past two years, he's lived his dream of pursuing a life of leisure. Lots of golf, lots of relaxation, lots of time in his shop.

He and I recently reconnected. I say this with the utmost respect, and he gave me permission to write about it, but he looks terrible! He looks like he has aged two decades in the past two years. No health issues. From all accounts, he's a generally healthy dude. When we talk, that spark he used to have is gone. That extra pep in his step is missing. He admitted that retirement life wasn't what he was expecting. There's something missing, but he can't quite put his finger on it.

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I recently chatted with another friend. She's 75 years old and still fully engaged in her career. She's one of the most joyful, energetic people I know. When it comes to peps in steps and extra gears, she's the definition. I've known her for about a decade, and all I've known is joy, energy, passion, and purpose. The world tells her she should retire to "finally enjoy life," all the while, all she's doing is enjoying life! She and I regularly talk about work. She speaks so highly of her career, proud of what she's built. The little meaning in her day-to-day. The joy of serving her clients well. Getting up in the morning and knowing there's a purpose to the day. Yeah, she enjoys her family, friends, and travel, but her work still provides purpose.

This friend redefines our culture's perspective on "enjoying life." She could be sitting on a beach, yet here she is, making more of an impact than ever before. Not at the expense of her happiness and enjoyment, but as one of the primary contributors to her happiness and enjoyment. I never want to use the word "hero" lightly, but she's a hero of mine. I watch how she handles herself, and I aspire to be more like her.

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These two friends have a 20-year age gap, but their ages might as well be reversed. Is it luck? Is it health? Is it genetics? I can't prove it, but I can't help but think about how much their career choices have influenced this counterintuitive discrepancy. Someday, I'd like to conduct a study on this topic, but in the meantime, the overwhelming anecdotal evidence I witness day in and day out continues to affirm that work matters far more than we give it credit for.

A tip of my cap to you, my friend. You inspire me and countless others!

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Enjoy the Suck

If all goes well, by year-end, one of my clients will have paid off approximately $50,000 of consumer debt in about 18 months. Two vehicles and a collection of student loans; normal stuff! They don't realize it yet, but their lives are about ready to shift into an exciting and unprecedented new realm. Nothing will ever be the same.

Whenever I bring up the idea of paying off debt to couples, most people say some variation of, "I don't want to throw away x years of my life." Translation: the only way to pay off debt is to not spend money on fun, and not spending money on fun is akin to wasting life and living in misery. Therefore, the juice isn't worth the squeeze. They would rather just enjoy life while they can, and kick the can down the road.

I've watched dozens (or hundreds) of families turn their backs on a significantly better life simply because they don't want to endure a season of sacrifice. The long-term implications of those decisions are catastrophic.

I have a little secret for you. Making sacrifices for a season to achieve a goal doesn't have to be a soul-sucking, fun-hating, misery-inducing journey. Sarah and I spent 4.5 years paying off $236,000 of crappy debt. It was the first 4.5 years of our marriage. And to be honest, the life we lived was pretty dang awesome. Did we make sacrifices? Oh yeah, brutal sacrifices. However, those sacrifices didn't define our quality of life or the meaning we experienced. Our standard of living sure suffered, but the quality of life was outstanding. We enjoyed the suck!

Today, when I look at young couples like my client mentioned above, I can't help but smile, knowing something they don't yet know. What lies on the other side of cleaning up this debt mess is a life they never knew existed. I can testify that this young couple hasn't stopped living life. In fact, I think they enjoy the suck, too! They have threaded the needle of making massive sacrifices while also enjoying their young marriage. In a few years, they will thank their former selves for paying the price for their freedom.

Enjoy the suck! Whatever sacrifice current you needs to make for future you to have a better life, do it! Don't wait. Life can be hard now or life can be hard later.......choose your hard. Sarah and I chose to enjoy the suck early. My young friends chose to enjoy the suck early. What will you choose? There's no better time to go for it than today.

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The Want-to-Need Migration

Much discourse centers around the idea that life is so much more expensive today than it used to be. We blame inflation, capitalism, Boomers, politicians, and the systemic structure of our modern-day society. In other words, we love to blame everyone except the person in the mirror. Has life gotten more expensive? Sure. It always does. That's how inflation and the time value of money work. In all of this discourse, I think we've missed the biggest culprit of all: the want-to-need migration.

Over the past 25 years, I've personally witnessed a slow and steady cultural shift from what was once a want to now a need. Houses are a great example. When I was a kid, young families lived in small, conservative houses. However, over time, the average square footage of houses in America grew, as did the expectations of younger homeowners. Houses we now consider "starter homes" would have been mini-mansions 25 years ago. What about those small, conservative houses people used to live in? It would be unthinkable to live there!!!! Out of the question! Our expectations for the houses we choose have migrated from a want to a need.

Dining out is another great example. I recently met with a family who said a $600/month dining out budget is a "need." They didn't want a $600 dining out budget; it was a basic human need for their survival. Conversely, 30 years ago, dining out was more of a luxury. In my house, it felt more like a twice-per-month event. Taco Bell was a treat, Pizza Hut was a splurge, and Golden Corral was fancy. Our dining out habits have migrated from a want to a need.

Off the top of my head, I can think of countless items we now call needs that would have been wants 20+ years ago, including:

• Streaming services (many people didn't even have basic cable in the 80s and 90s).

• Cell phones (not in most people's budgets).

• Internet service (also scarce).

• Plane tickets (air travel used to be rare; today it's the norm).

• Coffee shops (as the 90s kids ask, "What's a coffee shop and why would anyone go there?")

• Online shopping (it was much harder to spend money in the pre-internet days, when you used to have to drive to the store. Today, click, click, click....delivery in an hour).

I'm not saying there's anything wrong here. In fact, I enjoy all of those things I just listed. They are part of my budget and part of my family's rhythm of life. I'm grateful for them. However, we ought not forget what's really a need and what's really a want. Sometimes, we need to get back to basics: food, clothing, transportation, and shelter. Let our needs be needs, then address our needs head-on. Once we've accomplished that, then we can move on to the wants. But let's let wants be wants. View them as such. Treat them as such. Enjoy them as such. Don't let your wants migrate into needs.....that's the gateway drug to much stress and bad outcomes.

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Exhibit #975

I talk often about the hidden psychological forces that influence our daily habits and decision-making. These hidden forces play a much larger role in our lives than we'd like to admit, and most people won't admit it. Today, I'd like to talk about Exhibit #975. Is it really #975? Not sure....I'm just guessing at this point!

I recently stumbled upon a social media video in which a woman asked, "If you were offered a free vacation, but you weren't allowed to post any photos of the vacation on social media, would you still go?" She continued by saying that she would feel that a trip without social media photos would be "a waste," and thus would decline.

My first reaction to her question was, "Of course I’d go! In fact, I'd prefer not to share a single photo of my trip! Double win!"

I saw lots of similar remarks in her comments. However, the vast majority of people agreed with her. If you can't post photos of your trip on social media, what's the point? Thousands of people chimed in, arguing that there's not much of a point in going on a vacation if you can't share content from it. Many people said they'd rather pay to go on the same trip so they can post whatever they want.

Depending on the study, 45%-55% of Millennials and Gen Z care about their vacations looking good on social media. Some even select their travel destinations solely for the aesthetics of the soon-to-be social media posts. In other surveys, approximately 20% of people admit to posting photos to boast, while another 10% admit to posting photos to incite jealousy from their friends, family, and colleagues. Here’s another fun one. 75% of people say they get annoyed when friends and family post vacation photos, yet even so, 75% of those annoyed people will do the same by posting their own photos. It’s a social media arms race of vacation photos!

We, humans, are a weird bunch. Now, regardless of what side of the aisle you land on with this question, this is another piece of evidence illustrating just how much we're being influenced by culture. You and I might not be struck by this particular ridiculous affliction, but we're struck by some other, equally ridiculous afflictions. Somewhere, deep down in our psyche, we're being manipulated by a combination of our culture and our subconscious.

Maybe it's the vehicles we're buying. Maybe it's the houses we're living in. Maybe it's the clothes we're wearing. Maybe it's the clubs we're joining. Maybe it's the technology we're using. I'm not suggesting that we ought to stop being impacted by these forces. If we're human, it's inescapable. Instead, what I'm suggesting is that we become aware of it in our own lives. Once we have awareness, we can take it into account in our decision-making process and make better choices.

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An Accidental Insult

I recently ran into an acquaintance at a local bookstore near my house. To be more specific, I ran into this acquaintance at the local bookstore twice within a month. During our second encounter, this person said to me, "Thanks for supporting this small business." Ugh!

I couldn't hate that phrase any more. "Support." The mere idea that I "support" that bookstore would be an insult to the shop's owner. I don't go to that bookstore to "support" them. I go there because they are excellent at what they do. The shop has a great vibe, the selection is always vast and ever-changing, the owner treats me like family, and the prices are too appealing to pass up. I've purchased hundreds of books from them, and God willing, I'll purchase several hundred more.

The mere idea that I "support" them is an insult, an accidental insult. They don't get my business out of pity, guilt, or some sense that if I don't go there, they won't make it. Instead, they served me extraordinarily well and earned the right for me to come back. Each time I visit, they re-earn the right again. That's how excellence works. They don't lather the pity, guilt, or emotional heartstrings on social media to get people in the door. They just pursue excellence in what they do and let the experiences speak for themselves.

Please remember this when you consider telling someone to "support" a small business. In that message is the presumption that their business isn't good enough without you or other people going there out of pity or guilt. Here's an alternative. If you know a small business that practices excellence, tell that to people. Shout from the rooftops how amazing a business is and how their lives will be better if they engage with said businesses. That's beautiful. It's pure, honest, and deserving. Always point back toward excellence, then let those businesses earn the right for your friends and family to go back again.

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Pax: Make Good Choices

It's the middle of the night. We had a marathon night with the kids (and our nieces). An awesome night, full of fresh memories and new experiences. I'm dead tired; the brain is shutting down. Pax is lying next to me. "Dad, you still need to write your blog, don't you?"

"Yeah, bud, I do. Any ideas?"

"I've never written a blog before, so I don't know what to write about."

"Well, I want to help people and encourage them."

"Tell them to have a good day and make good choices. You always tell me to make good choices, so maybe you can tell them that."

Make good choices. Such a simple, yet difficult idea. None of us ventures into our days planning to make poor choices. We don't wake up in the morning looking to sabotage our lives or impair our futures. Yet, we regularly find ourselves doing just that. Why? I think much of this stems from our human desire for instant gratification. We willfully do things to get what we want now, at the expense of what we want most.

I'm sure you can relate. You have a list of things that are important to you, yet through the course of life, you make little decisions in the present that push those important things further into the future.

Make good choices. I love that it was the first idea that came to his little mind when he thought about the blog. Ironic, though, as he frequently makes bad choices. I guess that makes him just like you and just like me. Despite wanting to make good choices, he can't help himself at times. None of us is ever going to get it fully right, but perhaps we can endeavor to make more good choices than poor ones today. Here's my rule of thumb for good choices: Would 10 years from now me approve of this choice? If so, it's probably a good choice. If not, well, perhaps I should reconsider.

Have a good day and make good choices, as Pax would say.

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26 and Dreaming

I recently met with a young 26-year-old man who was interested in having me review his finances and give him a few pointers. Early in the conversation, I asked the same question I always ask: "How about your work? Tell me about your work."

He danced around the point for a few minutes, sharing little details about all the compensation and benefits he receives from his employer. He never really answered my question, so I asked again. "How do you really feel about your work?"

"Honestly, I dream about retirement every day." He continued to share about how he doesn't find any meaning in his job, but it pays well and feels secure, so if he just sticks with it, he'll probably be able to retire by 60 at the latest.

This young guy is just three years into his career, and he's already dreaming about quitting work 34 years from now?!?! As much as I'd like to say this guy is weird, his sentiment is shared by millions. He's already conceded that he's going to hate work for the next 3+ decades, but his longing for an eventual life of leisure will hopefully pull him through.

He asked me if his math about how he can retire by age 60 is wrong. It wasn't. The math is fine. Sure, he can absolutely follow this plan and "finally" quit working by age 60, but I had something else to add: "I think you deserve far better than this plan. I think you deserve to wake up every day for the next 34 years excited for what you're about to do."

He thought that was an absurd idea. He had never considered that to be a viable option. It's interesting what our culture tells us. What will he do? Only time will tell. He can absolutely retire by his mid-to-late 50s if he really wants, but I think burning the next 30 years of his life would be a shame.

I think he deserves better. I think you deserve better. I think I deserve better. The only question is whether each of us will pursue that better.

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If Everything Is Important…..

I received a half-dozen messages yesterday in defense of the family I discussed in yesterday’s post. In short, people defended this family's actions by saying that all of these things were important. Thus, this family was simply a victim of having all these important things stacked on them.

Here's a general truth. If everything is important, nothing is important. Let's say there are 50 different things vying for our time or money, and all of them are deemed "important." If they all occupy the same plane of importance, then none of them are actually important. In a world of relativity, none of them win.

This is the curse that strikes so many of us. Our budgets are living testimonies of this. For example, I'll regularly meet people who are actively saving for 15 different things—$ 25 here, $30 there. When I do the math, I point out to them that it will take years to knock out any of them. That becomes immensely frustrating, eventually defeating.

For this reason, we need to truly prioritize. Are some of these things in our lives needs and wants? Yes. That's totally cool. Allow them to live in our hearts and minds. However, we need to be honest with ourselves when setting priorities. Once we have our list of upcoming needs and wants, do whatever it takes to prioritize them so your values can be lived out.

If everything is important, nothing is important. Therefore, keep it simple, prioritize, and execute. Confidently knock out the most important goal, then move on to the next.

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There’s Always Something

A couple I know has some big aspirations. Their values and goals are clear, and they know what it will take to achieve them financially. One problem: something came up. An unexpected need arose, and they must delay this goal until they address it.

Here's another problem: this is only the most recent in a string of unexpected needs. Truth be told, they've been putting off this big, important dream for more than six years! Why? There's always something!

I'll illustrate for you.

• First, they decided that buying a new vehicle was an immediate need. $27,000 of saving, 15 months of time, and another $35,000 of vehicle debt later, they had their new vehicle and were ready to achieve their dream.

• Second, they decided that buying a house was an immediate need. $20,000 of saving and 12 months of time later, they had their house and were ready to achieve their dream.

• Third, they decided that a dream Disney vacation was an immediate need. $18,000 of saving and 11 months of time later, they took their trip and were ready to achieve their dream.

• Fourth, they decided that finishing their basement was an immediate need. $40,000 of saving and 18 months of time later, they had their new basement and were ready to achieve their dream.

• Fifth, they decided that buying the other spouse a new vehicle is an immediate need. They are currently saving for this. But once they have this new vehicle, they will be ready to achieve their dream......

There's always something! When asked why they haven't pursued their huge dream yet, they will cite not being able to afford it. But when you look at the items above and how many resources they put toward them, it's easy to see that they could have done some amazing things over these past six years......they just chose to do something else instead.

Just remember, there's always something. Some things are in our control, and some aren't. However, far more is in our control than we'd like to believe. Please don't allow yourself to be a victim of your own life. Seize control of these decisions and prioritize your time, resources, and actions in accordance with your true values. Future you deserves it.

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Pursue Failure?!?!

In yesterday’s post, I talked about the concept of “pursuing failure.” I think about this idea so much that I forget how weird and controversial this topic is. First, let me clarify. I don’t advocate pursuing intentional, known failure. That would run afoul of another frequently discussed concept on this blog: the relentless pursuit of excellence.

We should strive to be excellent at everything we do. We should strive to achieve every dream, goal, and objective we aspire to. Here’s where the failure part comes into play. If we’re willing to shoot higher, dream bigger, and get uncomfortable, failure is inevitable. Anyone can avoid failure. The only prerequisite for avoiding failure is to refrain from doing difficult things. Therefore, if we never fail at anything, it’s likely a sign that we’re not pushing ourselves hard or far enough.

I’m leaning into things that are so ridiculous and audacious that failure is almost inevitable. Even if I’m as excellent as I can possibly be, there’s almost no way to fully avoid failure. Sometimes, soul-crushing, publicly embarrassing failure. It’s a tremendously uncomfortable concept to wrestle with, but once we come to terms with that reality, it presents us a critical fork in the road: play it safe or go for it. After years of basking in the play-it-safe camp, I took a hard turn and realized life is better lived in the go-for-it camp. Does it always go well? No, not at all. Sometimes, it feels like a big ball of flames. Other times, however, it’s glorious.

The bigger question we have to ask ourselves is what regrets our future selves will or will not have. When I look back on some of my biggest failures over the past decade, I definitely wish I could get some do-overs or second chances. However, I don’t think I’ll look back with regret. Conversely, I have some deep regrets for the things I was too scared, too safe, too timid to pursue. I’ll never get those opportunities back, but I don’t have to make those same lame decisions in the future.

Therefore, when I talk about pursuing failure, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. Pursue big things with a posture of excellence, and let the cards fall how they may. Sometimes we will achieve glorious wins, and sometimes we’ll suffer humiliating failures. We can’t have one without the other.

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Humiliation Ritual

Two nights ago, many of us witnessed a humiliation ritual known as the World Cup. Team USA was publicly and brutally embarrassed by Belgium on the world's grandest stage. For the rest of their lives, those players will forever be associated with the frustrating and unforgettable events that unfolded that night.

They aren't alone, though. For the past few weeks, hundreds of players representing their countries have subjected themselves to a similar humiliation ritual on equally grand stages. The World Cup isn't for the weak of heart. It brings the greatest joys and the darkest lows.

Why would players put themselves in those positions? The "greatest joys" part! The only way to attain the grandest of achievements is by risking failure. As I love to say, failure is the admission price to success. Almost nobody who wins the trophy has done so without first being subjected to soul-crushing humiliation. It comes with the gig.

Despite that, most of us non-footballers will spend our entire lives trying to avoid failure at all costs. Why? Because failure sucks. It's easier to live a life without risking failure than to put ourselves out there and ultimately be subjected to that twisted ritual.

If failure and embarrassment are terrible things and we ought to avoid them at all costs, why do soccer players spend their entire lives trying to make a team that will likely cause much pain and suffering? Because the pursuit of meaning MUST involve the risk of failure. It's a prerequisite.

Last time I checked, none of us will get out alive. Therefore, let's live. Be uncomfortable. Pursue failure. Stretch in ways that will most certainly result in some form of pain or embarrassment. It never feels good in the moment, but one day, we'll be talking about how it was all worth it.

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Don’t Let the Sequence Fool You

A young man asked me to look over his finances and help him get some control. Included in this conversation was a review of his most recent bank statement.

"Dude, you spent $700 more than you made last month!" I exclaimed.

"I had to buy groceries at the end of the month. What, you expect me just not to eat?"

"No, I expect you not to implode your finances by plunging yourself into debt."

"I had no choice, Travis! Either I buy groceries, or I don't eat."

"The sequence of your purchases isn't what matters here. That $700 of overspend doesn't just get credited to the last $700 you spent in the month."

"Again, I HAD to buy groceries."

"Did you need the other $1,200 of impulse purchases you made before that?"

“……….”

This young guy fell into the same trap so many do. Instead of viewing his money as a giant puzzle, he viewed it as a sequence of transactions. Then, when he had known and tangible needs, he acted (even though he had already exceeded his budgeted income for the month). This is how we end up in debt. This is how we never have funds for wants. This is how we can't afford to invest. This is how we justify not giving. We spend, spend, spend, then when a NEED arises, we flippantly meet that need without regard for the consequences.

It's a psychological phenomenon that often strikes us humans. If you're human, you're subject to it. What's the solution? Have a plan for the month. The WHOLE month. We know we need groceries. We know the rent or mortgage has to get paid. We know we'll need to put fuel in the vehicles. These are known expenses. Therefore, plan accordingly. While we're planning, we should also plan for the fun stuff. Plan for the dining out. Plan for the date nights. Plan for the concerts. Plan for the plane tickets. Plan for the new clothing. The keyword is "plan."

Let's remove the bias toward sequence and replace it with a bias toward intentionality. Oh, you really, really want a new Blackstone grill? Great! Is it in your plan? If not, then don't do it. Put it in your plan next month. Then buy it! The goal here isn't to demonize spending, but to demonize unplanned, impulsive, destructive spending. Let your plan be your plan, then execute. If it includes a fun trip or a Blackstone grill, go for it! But we can't constantly buy things that aren't in the plan, blow past our budget on buying true needs, then blame the needs.

We can do better! We deserve better. We'll thank ourselves for giving ourselves better!

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The Fork After the Fork After the Fork

While having coffee with a buddy last week, he brought up an interesting idea. He was talking about one of his college student sons. This particular son is still trying to determine where/how he will start his career. My friend mentioned that he's at a fork in the road. Several options are on the table. None of those will likely be THE option, but once he decides on this fork, another fork will open.

I thought that was such a beautiful metaphor for life. If we think about it, every aspect of life offers us forks in the road. Then, after we make a decision, we're presented with another series of forks to choose from. Where we are now at x area of life (whether it be career, school, relationships, parenting, etc.) is the product of each fork we chose. Some forks produce positive results, some neutral results, and some disastrous results.

Whether it's my financial situation or current career setup, I can trace my path backward through each decision at each fork. For the most part, I'm pleased with the decisions I made. However, there are most certainly forks I chose that were harmful to my life. Purchases I made. Debts I accepted. Investments I made out of pride. Clients I said "no" to. Clients I said "yes" to.

When I look back at my forks and watch others work through their forks, I don't think the goal is to completely avoid missteps. Rather, when we misstep, we have the level-headedness and wherewithal to make a wise choice at the next fork. It's so easy to compound mistakes. The compounding can happen for a number of reasons, whether it's that we're in a heightened state of stress, chasing to get on the other side of the ledger, or denying we made a poor choice to begin with. Needless to say, it's imperative that we approach each fork for whatever it offers. Reality on reality's terms.

In a way, I think viewing life through the lens of forks makes it easier, more approachable. Instead of having a million options before us, we can narrow it down to a handful of key options. Then, after confidently making a decision, we can move on to the next. Approaching our decisions this way allows us to act with intentionality and under control.

I'm currently at a fork in the road on many fronts, and perhaps you are, too. If so, I hope you embrace each opportunity for whatever it is. Then, once you do, you approach the next fork in the same way. Let's get back to basics and simplify the tasks before us.

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A Different Kind of Independence Day

I received a fun message yesterday. One of our blog readers wanted to wish me a happy Independence Day, but "a different kind of Independence Day."

Beginning next week, her husband starts a new job. Beginning next week, they are proclaiming independence from "work that sucks their soul." Not independence from work, but independence from work that lacks meaning.

She shared in her message that there will be consequences. Most notably, this job switch will delay their retirement by 5-7 years. However, as she noted, this brings to mind two different thoughts:

1. It's worth giving up 5-7 years of retirement if those 5-7 years can actually bring meaning, joy, and fulfillment.

2. If this work is as meaningful as they believe it will be, it will be a better life than any life of leisure can bring.

Amazing! Sometimes, when I look in the mirror and ask myself why I spend hundreds of hours per year writing this blog and recording the podcast, stories like this remind me exactly why we do what we do. Our sole objective is to bend the needle for how our culture views work and money. When we hear these types of stories, it gives us a glimpse into the progress being made. Today, I celebrate them. Their lives will never be the same, and for that, I'm grateful.

"A different kind of Independence Day." It has a nice ring to it.

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Not Perfect, But….

One of my favorite parts of this World Cup season is seeing all the international fans experiencing America for the first time. The TikTok videos are amazing, and I thoroughly enjoy each one. There is discourse about the food, the people, the cultures, the geography, the freedoms, the scale, and the quirks. One overarching message is clear: America isn't like what they've been told all these years. People are viewing America through the lens of curiosity, wonder, and openness.....and they love it!

America isn't perfect, but it's pretty great. We have our failures, shortcomings, and baggage. You know who else does, too? Everyone! Every country carries failures, shortcomings, and baggage. I've been to nearly 40 countries over the past 20 years. Every country has amazing qualities. Every time I experience a new place, I revel in the little nuances that make it different, special. Whether it's the food, culture, people, or sights, I try to capture in my soul what makes it special.

There's a mourning that happens every time I leave a country. I know I'll miss it. I know I'll leave a piece of me there. I know that for decades, I'll have flashbacks to memories, moments, tastes, people, and sights. At the same time, though, it's always so good to return to U.S. soil. Each time I experience this cycle, I'm reminded that while America isn't perfect, it's pretty great.

I wish we could see America as these international fans have over the past few weeks. I wish we could take a step back and see our home with the same childlike wonder and awe. It's a pretty amazing place that we too often take for granted. Here's my encouragement to you. Leave America. Go see another culture. Embrace it, savor it, enjoy it. Soak up the food, the culture, and the awesomeness. Then, through that process, be reminded of what makes America great as well.

Happy 250th birthday, America!

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Choose Your Waste

I recently had an interesting conversation with an early 30-something. Through the course of the discussion, he confessed that he hates his job. This isn't surprising considering 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. Here's the surprising part, though. He said he knew he was going to hate it BEFORE he started his career 10 years ago! That's right. Coming out of college, he knew he was going to hate what was about to unfold.

"Why didn't you do something different?" I asked.

"I paid tens of thousands for my degree. I didn't want to waste it."

Many of you can relate to this sentiment. It's something I hear all the time in my work. Who we are at 28, 38, and 48 is usually different from who we were when we were 18-year-old kids. Life changes.....we change. Therefore, this feeling of not wanting to "waste" our degree hits close to home for many.

Here's what I told him. First, nothing is wasted. While a degree might list a major, it's more than a piece of paper with an industry title. It's the culmination of years of classes, relationships, experiences, failures, and growth. Much of what happened during that season of life will absolutely be repurposed in subsequent seasons of life, even if in different fields.

Second, let's pretend what I said above is dead wrong and a career change would result in my friend "wasting" his degree. Would he rather waste his degree or waste his life? Waste four years of his life that happened a decade ago, or waste the next four decades of his life?

It's an idea worth pondering today. Millions of people are sitting on degrees, tenure, and industry experience they are afraid to "waste." However, we need to choose our waste carefully. Life is far too precious to allow a decision from years past to sabotage our future.

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Two People to Make Proud

I recently stumbled upon a quote that lives rent-free in my head: "There are only two people you should strive to make proud: 10-year-old you and 80-year-old you." Let that sink in. See, it messes with your head!

When I read the quote, I didn't see any other context. It was thrown at me completely unfiltered and without additional structure. Here's how I interpret it:

• To make 10-year-old you proud, go for it. Don't lose that childlike wonder, curiosity, and dreams. When we're finally of age to actually do something about it, do something about it!

• To make 80-year-old you proud, don't leave regrets on the table. None of us will sit there at 80 years old thinking about how we should have played it safer, taken fewer risks, or pursued more comfort. Don't let yourself sit in regret when you're old, wrinkly, and grey.

Is this true? I wonder. I've been thinking about this a lot. After all, this totally seems like something I would think. Do I agree? After much contemplation, I couldn't agree more.

Here's where the rubber meets the road. Assess your life. Take stock of your journey. What would 10-year-old and 80-year-old you think of the journey you've lived so far? Would they be proud? Would they be disappointed? Don't answer me, answer the person in the mirror.

I still need to think about my answer, but today, I encourage you to think about yours. Have a great day; for current you, 10-year-old you, and 80-year-old you.

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