A New Gear

It was just another Zoom chat, or so I thought. I recently spent some time with a couple of buddies on a Zoom chat. Sure, I'd prefer spending time in person, but Zoom is the best we can do when thousands of miles separate us. Right in the middle of our time together, these two men challenged me in a way that I wasn't expecting. It surprised me, but at the same time, it also pushed my limits in ways I never thought possible. Before that call, I thought one thing about myself and my capacities. Then, by the time we wrapped up, I had a different perspective.

In the hours after that call, I realized I had way more in me than my little mind perceived. That single call catapulted me into a new dimension, with new possibilities, and even more potential impact.

I debated what this post should be about. Should it be about the power of relationships and surrounding ourselves with people who will push us? Should it be about the idea that we have way more in us than we often know? Should it be about the need for each of us to step into a higher calling? Should it be about the importance of just continuing to move forward, regardless of how far we've already come? Well, I think it's about all of those.

I have friends who push me harder than often seems reasonable. I thank them for that!

I thought I had given as much as humanly possible in a certain area of my life. I was wrong; there's more.

I know what I'm called to do, but at the same time, I'm realizing that my mind is thinking too small. The caller is higher and bigger than I originally believed.

I sometimes pat myself on the back, celebrating just how far I've come. While that's true (and good!), it doesn't negate the need for me to keep going. The work isn't finished, and good enough is never good enough. The standards need to keep rising.

This post feels a little abstract for my taste, but as I reread my words, I feel like this is what I'm meant to post today. For some reason I cannot explain, this just feels right. I hope the right people see it and it makes a difference. That will be a win! Have an awesome day, and I'll see you again tomorrow!

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A Different Person

I ran into a close friend yesterday who had been following the blog over the last week while I was in Colombia. He asked a very interesting question: "How do trips like that impact you?"

In short, I sincerely believe I return from those types of trips as a different person. When we leave our personal bubbles and allow ourselves to be uncomfortable, it stretches us in ways that are hard to fully communicate.

Those types of experiences challenge everything we know to be true, everything we take for granted, and every bias we use to engage the world around us. Those types of experiences also call into question who we are as people, what our place in the world is, and how we can best serve the greater good. So yeah, I don't think it's hyperbole to say that we return as different people after trips like that.

My first trip out of the country was at age 26; to England and Ireland. Despite both of those countries being Westernized and English-speaking, that trip profoundly changed me. My small little mind couldn't believe how big the world was, yet at the same time, how small it was. That trip showed me that no matter what I thought I knew, I actually knew nothing. Fast forward twenty years, and I think I've been to upwards of 40 countries. Each trip, each location, and each experience changed me in a different way.

How did this trip change me? My takeaways are pretty clear:

• Even the biggest, most audacious dreams are possible. We don't get to decide what's possible. Only God can decide.

• Time is but a number. No matter how long or short something will theoretically take, reality doesn't care about projections. It will happen when it's supposed to happen.

• People don't have to be world-changers to change the world. Some of the largest impacts come from the smallest, most humble beginnings.

• Life is so, so fragile. We can't take our days for granted. Any day could be THE day.

• There are a lot of dark forces in the world, darker than we often see with the naked eye or while stuck in our bubbles.

• Relationships are the key to everything. I've known this, but this trip was another reminder of the sheer power and beauty of relationships.

• Everyone has a role. Each person on our team brought specific, non-replicable roles to the table. None of us could have filled the others' roles. Regardless of your role, it matters. Don't judge. Don't compare. Don't minimize yourself.

It's going to take me a few weeks to fully process everything that happened on this trip. However, it's safe to say that I'll never be the same after it. I'm a different person. God willing, a better person.

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Home is Home

I woke up in my own bed this morning. My head is still spinning after returning from a trip of a lifetime. It included three of the most surreal days of my life. I'm not even sure people would believe the stories if I told them. I am blessed beyond belief, and eternally grateful for every person I interacted with during my time in Colombia.

But I missed my wife. And I missed my boys. I missed our life together. No matter how good it is to see the world and endeavor to make an impact beyond ourselves, it's equally as good to return home. I'm looking forward to football in the backyard, movie snuggles on the couch, morning coffee with Sarah, video games with the boys, delicious drinks from my coffee shop, pizza at our nearby joint, and the normal work I'm blessed to do for those I'm blessed to serve. Home is amazing. Home doesn't need to be fancy, exotic, expensive, or luxurious. Home just needs to be home. Home needs to be the place where we can let go of all the stress and burden we carry on our shoulders, and engage those we love most in the simplest of ways.

I'm exhausted, but satisfied. Excited, but weary. Encouraged, but drained. Tired, but energetic. Heartbroken for the things I've seen, but hopeful for the same. My body fat percentage has probably jumped a few points after all this amazing Colombian food, but I'm looking forward to locking back into my habits and practices. I'll miss my Colombian friends, but will welcome my American friends. Both sides of the equation are needed otherwise appreciate the other. I needed to be reminded of that this week. I've carried many heavy burdens these last few months, and this trip no doubt jarred some perspective into me. The job is not complete. In fact, it's only beginning.

Home is an amazing place. We ought not take it for granted. I can't wait for my next trip to Colombia, but in the meantime, I'm going to appreciate home all the same. On a related note, I'm probably going to get a knee-drop to the chest by a stinky little boy any moment now and nearly die from the pain. I'm really looking forward to that. I miss those errant and reckless 9-year-old knees knocking the wind right out of my lungs. I hope you have a great day, and please, please, please never take home for granted. It should be a special place for us all.

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Kristian, I Want to Play a Game

Yesterday was my final full day in Colombia. I woke up in a hotel connected to a shopping mall in a city called Neiva. After a productive morning of meetings, we packed our bags and headed into the mall for lunch. I gotta tell you, the energy in that mall was electric! Literally thousands of people were there shopping, eating, drinking, playing, and conversing. It reminded me of America’s vibrant mall culture in the late 90s. Safe to say I was digging it!

After realizing that almost every other restaurant and food court was absolutely slammed, the team selected a quieter little restaurant within the mall. Immediately after being seated, we started scanning the menu. 

I have a rule when I travel abroad. I won’t eat anything that I am familiar with or can readily get in America. One of the best ways to learn someone’s culture and build relationships is through shared experiences with THEIR cuisine. 

“Kristian, I want to play a game.” Kristian is the husband of our team leader. He and I had some fun bonding time this week, and I knew our time was coming to an end (which is always sad). I explained to him that I wanted him to order me whatever he was going to order for himself, and not tell me anything about it. I wanted to be surprised, then enjoy. No limits, no rules. 

Every time each of us sits down at a restaurant, we bring our biases, fears, and experiences to the table. Subconsciously, our minds tell us to find something familiar, something comfortable. I would do it, too! But when we treat it as a game and make ourselves uncomfortable by throwing away the rule book, amazing things can happen. 

After a bit, the server delivered the most beautiful-looking dish to me. As was the case with nearly every meal I had in Colombia, it was amazing and it offered a great opportunity to bond over the experience. Kristian won the game, but I was the real winner for having such a special opportunity to learn more about Colombian culture and further build those relationships. 

Nearly every meal this week was a game, an opportunity, a blessing. Yes, this post is about food. But food is never really about food. It’s about connection, experiences, memories, and relationships. Most of us probably won’t be visiting another country this week, but here is my challenge. Next time you have a chance to experience a meal with someone (even your spouse or your children), seize the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and create a unique memory together. You may or may not like the dish you’re served, but those memories, experiences, and relationships will persist for decades!

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¿Por Qué?

One of our Palmful of Coffee team members is named Alejandra, from Colombia. Early 20s, ministry background, trained and formally educated coffee expert, with a deep passion for all things coffee. She is a true scholar of the art and science of coffee production, from the plant to the cup. Her role in Palmful of Coffee is to create, uphold, and maintain standards for the quality, treatment, and execution of the coffee collection process. In other words, she's the primary driver of operational excellence. She and I have spent a lot of time together over the past few days and engaged in many (interpreter-assisted) conversations. Eventually, I noticed a trend. After I would talk, she would respond, "¿Por qué?"

Translated into English: "Why?" I'd share a few more thoughts. "¿Por qué?" again.

I joked with her that I knew "¿Por qué?" was coming. She apologized. I told her that I absolutely love it. Before I could share my perspective on her curiosity, she said that she has a deep desire to understand what's really going on, where people's hearts truly are, and why things are the way they are. I couldn't have said it better myself!

Her "¿Por qué?" question took us from the truth to the truth behind the truth. The why behind the why. The real truth. The reason behind the reason. That one question takes conversations and understandings from surface-level to something much, much deeper. I'm so glad she asked, as she prompted me to share much deeper meaning behind some of my actions. Without her curiosity, I suspect I would have let it remain at a surface level. I gave her the reason, but she wanted the reason behind the reason.

"¿Por qué?" "Why?" Regardless of the language we're speaking, this simple but powerful question has the power to force us to a deeper level. Obviously, this applies to relationships, but it also applies to ourselves. When was the last time we stopped to ask ourselves "Why?" or "¿Por qué?"

What's the reason behind the reason? Why are we REALLY making this decision? Why do we REALLY care about this? What hidden motivations are REALLY at play? If we can go one or two levels deeper with ourselves, as Alejandra did with me, we'd be so much better off. We would quit playing games with ourselves, telling the person in the mirror one thing while actually being guided by something (or someone) different. We'd stop making decisions based on others' opinions and judgments and start making them based on what's truly best for our own callings and families. The reason behind the reason is always the reason. We need to listen to that.

I wish I had half as much wisdom in my early 20s as Alejandra does. Good thing it's never too late! I need to keep asking "¿Por qué?" more often, and I encourage you to do the same. Have a great day!

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From What We Have

I've talked about this concept many times on this blog over the past four years, but last night I experienced its purest form. We often make giving overcomplicated. We factor in all our bills, obligations, and other financial commitments, then assess whether there's enough remaining to give. Since we are human and our brains are wired a certain way, there's rarely anything left to give, regardless of our income. Thus, we elect not to give.

Put through its proper lens, giving should be much simpler. "What do I have to give?" we should ask ourselves. After all, we are called to give from what we have, not from what we don't have. If I have something, I should give it. If I don't, I shouldn't. This means financial resources, of course, but it should also include skills, experience, passion, relationships, influence, etc.

If I have the skills and experience to help businesses, some of that skill and experience should be given freely to serve others. If I have a relationship that would be valuable to someone else's endeavors, I should give that freely to help others.

In our Palmful of Coffee curriculum, we again go back Biblical to giving in its simplest form. We give from what we have, not from what we don't have. This concept can and will set us free. It allows us to practice generosity regardless of our current life situation. It allows us to stop comparing ourselves to others and simply give, knowing that all blessings matter.

Last night, it came full circle. As I sat in the front row of church in a Colombian village, I watched giving, in its simplest form, play out in real time. Men, fresh out of the fields in the nearby mountains, carried a large sack of green coffee beans to the front of the church and placed it at the base of the podium. Then another man. Then another man. Soon, the base of the podium was lined with some of the world's best coffee. These men might not have had a lot of financial resources, but they had coffee, beautiful coffee.

While we call this program Palmful of Coffee, it's not strictly about coffee. It's about giving from what you have, not from what you don't. Most church members had coffee, but some had milk, yogurt, corn, lemons, eggs, papaya, etc. That's what they brought. They didn't look in the mirror and say, "I don't have coffee, so I guess I can't participate." No, they looked in their storehouses and saw freshly picked papaya, then elected to give from what they had.

We make this too complicated. ALL of us have something to give. And if we would stop comparing ourselves to everyone else, we would recognize the beautiful opportunity we each have to simply give from what we have. Last night was one of the most special nights of my life, and I will surely remember it forever. But this lesson of Palmful of Coffee, give from what we have, can remain with each one of us every day for the rest of our lives as well.

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Palmful of Coffee

115 years ago, a Christian missionary in the Mizoram region of India asked a simple question that would unknowingly create a ripple effect spanning generations. He recognized that the people in this region were some of the poorest he had ever seen. It was a community in a continual and profound state of need. Scarcity was the norm, and dependency from the outside was a given.

Everyone has something to give, he taught them. "What do you have?" he asked. Rice. While people had very little, most people had rice. Through his teachings, the villagers began to shift their mindset. Instead of dwelling on what they didn't have, people started focusing on what they did have. And in this region, families had rice. The women prepared the meals for their families while the husbands worked the farms. Each time the women prepared a meal, they set aside a handful of rice. Then, on Sunday, the women would bring the rice to church and give it on behalf of their families.

What seemed like an innocent and small gesture turned into a tidal wave. The church used this rice to care for the disabled, widowed, and elderly, as well as fund ministry. Before long, the church grew exponentially. More people jumped into this new way of living, coined Bhufai Tham (Handful of Rice), and it changed everything. They were no longer as dependent upon support from outsiders. They now care for each other like never before, and the number of Christians has exploded. 115 years later, that church is still thriving. Generations of people share the story of how they were raised with the principles of Bhufai Tham.

Four years ago, my friend and mentor, Gary Hoag, stumbled into a conversation with a pastor that would spark an entirely new movement. However, instead of India, it was Malawi, and instead of rice, it was maize. Similar to the folks in northeast India, many people in Malawi live in a perpetual state of need. People are hungry, and there's a strong dependence on the West. Again, Gary echoed the question, "What do you have?" Maize, people had maize. His team, in coordination with collaborators throughout Malawi, launched Palmful of Maize.

A curriculum was developed to teach children in churches and schools about generosity and the principles of giving what they have. Every home has a bag of maize. To apply what they have learned, every child brings a palmful of maize to church on Sunday. To spread the impact, each child is challenged to encourage friends to do it, too. What happens with the maize? 80% is used to care for people (Mercy), 10% to spread the Gospel (Mission), and 10% for the growth of the church (Management). Within months, communities started meeting their own needs. Instead of having a scarcity mindset and living in a state of dependency, the vision has empowered local generous giving.

To give you a sense of the impact, Malawi has about 20 million people, of whom about 9 million are children. In just three years, this curriculum has been directly taught to 1.1 million children throughout the country, with another 2.3 million children being exposed to it. That equates to 1/3 of the children in the country! In just three short years, these principles and practices have already begun to bend the culture of Malawi. Gary and his team made a video to illustrate the impact, and the word spread globally.

Three years ago, on the other side of the world, in Colombia, a woman named Esther heard about it and started praying. She wanted to see a similar vision spread among Colombia's indigenous coffee farmers (producers of some of the best coffee in the world). She and members of Gary's team mapped out a proposal and floated it by a foundation, but it gained no traction. It just sat there, but Esther kept praying.

In January 2025, during a periodic Zoom call, Gary Hoag and I were chatting about faith, work, and family. Knowing I'm strongly tied to coffee, he mentioned this idea in passing and said he would send me some information. A few days later, I received a PDF about the vision, "Palmful of Coffee." Nobody knew this, but I kept that document open on my laptop screen for weeks. Every few days, I'd re-read it. I couldn't shake it. By April, during another one of our periodic Zoom calls, Gary asked me if I had a chance to read the proposal. He shared that the team had come together, but they still needed the resources to bring it to life.

"I'm in!" I blurted out, interrupting Gary's update. I already knew I was called to do this, but I didn't realize until many weeks later that my abrupt "I'm in!" outburst set the wheels in motion for the adventure of a lifetime. I told Gary that if resources were the key roadblock, I would personally ensure they were taken care of. I didn't know how, but if financial resources were the bottleneck preventing Esther's vision from coming to life, I needed to trust God and step into it. Two days later, the initiative was green-lit, and I had a plane ticket to Medellin, Colombia.

Last May, I spent three days with Gary, Esther, and 12 others, including coffee farmers, pastors, and other influential workers representing all three regions of Colombia's coffee triangle. Hour by hour and day by day, the vision came to life. Similar to India and Malawi, we will endeavor to create a give-what-you-have culture amongst Colombia's indigenous coffee farmers. A culturally contextual Sunday School curriculum will be created and slowly rolled out throughout the country, teaching children and families these same principles. Palmfuls of coffee will be collected and used to care for people, spread the Gospel, and grow the church. Or, as one of my indigenous Colombian friends said, "Return dignity to the coffee farmers."

May 2025 - Our team! We spent a day working on a local coffee farm just outside Medellin. It was absolutely beautiful!

As previously mentioned, I personally vouched for the resources: $150,000 over three years (approximately $50,000 per year). This month marks the end of year 1. Investing nearly every ounce of our family’s financial margin in this endeavor for the past 12 months has been one of the greatest challenges and greatest joys in Sarah and my marriage. It's forced us to make difficult decisions and live a very different life. We don't regret any of it, as we are blessed to sow seeds of generational change. The first version of the curriculum has been created and is presently being piloted by a handful of churches in one region of Colombia. I have the distinct honor of attending the final sermon of our new curriculum and the annual coffee harvest celebration in a Colombian village later today and tomorrow.

I've never been more excited about anything in my life. I regularly talk about the idea of pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone and being part of something bigger than ourselves. That's what this represents for me. This is also my invitation to you. Would you partner with us? Would you say "yes" to being part of something bigger than you and me? Are you interested in setting wheels into motion that could have a ripple effect for generations?

If so, would you consider making a financial gift toward this vision? I think it would be amazing for this Daily Meaning community to rally together to achieve something that will transform this world! It will be part of our collective legacy forever.

If you want to get in the game and make a financial gift, you can do so HERE. Gary's organization, Global Trust Partners (registered 501(c)(3)), is facilitating the financial management of Palmful of Coffee, and as such, all gifts are tax-deductible. After you click the link above, just tick the box "Palmful of Coffee Colombia" to designate your gift.

If you want to learn more about Handful of Rice, you can watch a short video HERE.

If you want to learn more about Palmful of Maize, you can watch a short video HERE.

If you have any questions or want more information, please e-mail me at thedailymeaning@gmail.com.

Thanks in advance for your consideration and partnership. This is going to be a beautiful journey together!

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Gutted….In the Best Way

Have you ever shared a sopping-wet, makeshift charcuterie board with a 9-year-old sitting at the base of an old oak tree in the pitch-black at 10 PM on a weeknight? Me, neither, until a few nights ago.

Please allow me to rewind. The day before I left the country was a whirlwind. Aside from me being swamped with meetings and errands, the boys had an all-day birthday friend party at a local amusement park. Immediately following the birthday party, they had VBS at a friend's church. Finally, after being gone for 11 hours, they returned home with a burning desire to start a bonfire in the backyard.

Knowing I needed to leave for the airport in the middle of the night, I obliged and enabled their little boy pyromania to run wild. We messed around with the fire for about an hour. Then, Finn realized he hadn't eaten since lunch. Sarah graciously assembled a makeshift charcuterie board on a paper plate and delivered it to the fire pit.

"Dad, will you come sit with me by that tree?" he asked, pointing to the darkest corner of the yard. How could I refuse that invite!?!? We sat together for about 30 minutes, chomping on summer sausage, crackers, and orange slices. He meandered all sorts of ridiculous topics, each funnier than the last.

That moment gutted me.....in the best way. This little boy just wanted to spend time with his dad. That's it. In its purest form, he just wanted me present. He and I both left the elephant in the room unsaid: I would soon leave the country, and there would be thousands of miles between us. But for those 30 minutes, nothing existed but for him, me, and a paper plate of makeshift charcuterie that he would eventually drench with his water bottle (because he's a clumsy little boy). Did you know that butter crackers taste "butter-y-er" when wet? It's science.....believe him. I don't think he's wrong; I sampled the evidence myself.

I felt pretty crappy walking out of the house at 3 AM yesterday morning to drive to the airport. It's a feeling I get every time I travel (especially internationally), as I miss those guys so much. However, at least I knew that I made the most of the precious moments I was granted. I'm so glad I took advantage of those ridiculous opportunities, especially chomping on soggy crackers at the base of a pitch-black tree at 10 PM on a weeknight with a cool little man.

Life is weird. Take advantage of every weird and quirky opportunity it presents. We're not promised an infinite amount of them.

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Comfort Is the Enemy

My favorite line from one of my keynote talks is, "Comfort is the enemy of progress, and failure is the admission price to success." We live in a culture that's obsessed with comfort. We seek comfort at all costs. We use our time, resources, influence, and experience to obtain whatever comfort is available to us. In fact, many facets of comfort have become status symbols for "winning" in this country.

On the flip side, despite my undeniable human attraction to comfort, I detest it. About a decade ago, I realized that comfort was the primary factor in preventing me from living my calling, my purpose. The pursuit of comfort often forces us to make decisions that subvert our ability to make an impact and find meaning. Comfort is a drug that sedates us, medicates us, lulls us into a complacent state.

Today, I'm embarking on a new adventure. I'm going somewhere I've never been, engaging with people I’ve never met. I'm about to be tremendously uncomfortable. I'll be the only person who doesn't know the language. Nearly 100% of my communication will be via translators. Will they accept me? Will they like me? Will they respect me? Will they value my ideas? These are all natural thoughts that stem from aggressively pursuing discomfort. Heck, I've been uncomfortable for a few weeks just thinking about it.

Despite all that, I also understand the flip side. Without discomfort, I have no chance of making a difference. Without discomfort, I'm waiving my right to create impact. Without discomfort, life simply wouldn't be as rich.

In a matter of hours, every aspect of "normal" will turn on its head. I'm not ready for it, yet at the same time, I couldn't be more ready. I crave the awe, wonder, and curiosity that discomfort brings. It will be scary....it will be amazing. It will be trying.....it will be beautiful.

Comfort is the enemy. Discomfort is our friend. I look forward to sharing more about this journey over the next week. Blessed to have you here.

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Sooner

One of my buddies just shared that his daughter will turn 16 later this year. Huge milestone! I asked a natural follow-up question. "What are you all doing about the car situation?" He smiled, then responded, "We told her a few weeks ago that if she wants a car, she'll need to buy one."

Excuse me, what?!?! You told your 15-and-a-half-year-old daughter a few weeks ago that if she wants a car, she'll need to buy one? The shock you sense in my tone isn't from them asking her to buy a car. Rather, it's the fact they didn't telegraph this message to her until six months before the big day. That's brutal! She's totally set up to fail.

In my 10+ years working with teens, I recognized something. Teens spend far less time stressing about the known issues in their lives than the unknowns. And to me, not knowing what's going to happen when they turn 16 is quite the unknown. Therefore, my biggest advice to parents is to communicate the plan, whatever it is, early. The sooner the better!

When my kids turned 9, Sarah and I told them they would be responsible for purchasing their own vehicles when they turned 16. At 9.....one month into third grade. Is that early? Yeah, it is. But it gives us years to discuss, share ideas, encourage, and create a plan. We also shared one other part of the plan. Whatever they save, we will match. If they save $5,000, we will give them $5,000. If they save $8,000, we will give them $8,000. The message: Discipline and delayed gratification get rewarded. Flat-footedness will lead to bad outcomes. Money, vehicle. No money, no vehicle

Just a few days ago, at not yet 10 years old, Pax asked me if he could set up a car fund and start contributing a portion of his earnings into it. Yeah, bud!!! That's a great idea! We'll do that. He says he wants a truck....a Ford F-150. For what reason, I may never know. But the little man is thinking. He might change his mind 10 more times, but having these conversations early allows the conversations to commence.

Whatever timing you think might be appropriate for these money conversations, go sooner. Engage with them. Start conversations. Allow time to process, plan, and execute. There's freedom in this type of margin. And frankly, it's fun to hear how their brain processes it along the way. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to visualize my little man cruising around in a Ford F-150.

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From Principal to Janitor

I recently stumbled upon a beautiful story that caught my eye. It was a two-and-a-half-minute story on CBS Sunday Morning. It's about a man named David White, who retired at age 58 after 33 years of dutiful service to his local school district. Much of that time, as a Principal. Not just some average principal, but an award-winning, Atlanta Principal of the Year-level principal.

He did what many of us do. Once he was able to justify it financially, he cut the rip cord and retired. After all, that's what we're supposed to do, right? Retire as soon as we can so we can "finally enjoy life." Turns out, retirement wasn't all it was cracked up to be. He got bored, lonely.

After some soul-searching, he realized he missed his old job. Unfortunately, he couldn't just go and get his old job back. The school had already hired a new principal. A different job opened up, though, and he was intrigued! After submitting his resume and interviewing, he was hired: Janitor and handyman. He cleans the toilets, cares for the landscaping, and makes repairs. It's a far cry from being the high-paid face of the entire institution. He once had income, status, and title. Today, he has blisters, back pain, and dirty clothes. He could be chillin' at home, "finally enjoying life," yet here he is, grinding in probably the lowest-paid job he's had in decades.

"Why doesn't that bother you?" asked the interviewer, pointing out that David went from the top of the ladder to the bottom. "I still feel like I'm contributing meaningfully to a place I really care about." Yes, David, yes!

All work matters. What a beautiful example of this idea. You can find the full video clip below.

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“What’s In It For You?”

A few weeks ago, I found myself in a fascinating conversation with a handful of friends. The conversation meandered to generosity. Knowing that generosity is one of my favorite topics in the world, one of the men at the table asked me a question: "What's in it for you? Why are you so into this stuff? What are you getting out of it?"

"Nothing. That's the point," I responded. In order for our giving to be true generosity, we can't receive anything in return. If we give and expect something in return, that's a transaction. That's done with motives, not a generous spirit.

"But why?" my friend continued to press. "If you're not getting anything in return, why not just spend it on yourself?"

Ah, now we were getting to the true heart of the topic. There's a cultural thread woven into the fabric of our society that says that if we earn it, it's ours to enjoy on ourselves. While this is legally true, it's not the highest and best use of our resources. When I look at the resources I'm blessed with, there's a tension at play. I can spend on my wants......or spend on other people's needs. If I don't put a pool in my backyard, my kids have to use the public pool. If those starving children don't eat, they might die. If I don't buy another pair of boots, I might not be as color-coordinated. If that family can't get their utility bill paid, they won't have running water. The math feels simple to me. Money spent on other people's needs has a significantly higher ROI than money spent on my own wants. I’m not saying there’s anything inherently wrong with spending money on pools or boots; I’m just trying to paint a picture of how my brain works.

We do actually get something from our giving, though. Heart change. When we give without expecting anything in return, something inside us changes. A selfish little piece inside of us dies, and something new is born. Each act of giving rips us apart a little more, a little more, a little more. If we're not careful, we might inadvertently undergo a full heart surgery. The old us is gone, replaced by someone new.

"What's in it for you?" Nothing.....and everything.

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No Clue

A few days ago, one of my business partners asked me for my guidance on an important topic. "No clue," I responded. I wasn't trying to be dismissive, but I literally had no clue. "I have no value to add to this conversation." I wasn't trying to play stupid.....I was stupid. However, I think this is the way we all should handle more things in life.

We aren't - can't - be experts in all things. If we're experts in all things, then we're likely experts in nothing. The reason I'm able to speak with such conviction in xyz areas of life, finances, or business is that I'm equally as willing to admit shortcomings in others. I know what I know, and I don't know what I don't know. The key is being willing and able to recognize what we don't know. And on the topic at hand with my business partners, I had no true value to add.

If we're being pure with this concept, it should apply to all areas of life: business, work, friendships, and even marriage. My wife asks me dozens of questions per day. Either I have a convicted answer for her.....or I don't. "I don't know" is a perfectly acceptable answer, and Sarah has grown accustomed to me shooting her straight, one way or another. Sometimes, she's surprised by the things I say "I don't know" to, and vice versa. But as a husband, I owe it to her to be honest not only with her, but with myself. If she and I collectively don't know the answer to a question, it's our responsibility to seek outside counsel.

Following this process, regardless of the topic, allows us to grow and succeed. The alternative approach can lead to some pretty harsh realities. I can't even fairly convey how many people I meet who live with sincere conviction on all sorts of topics they have no business being convicted about. When that happens, poor, questionable, and dangerous decisions get made. Decisions that have far-reaching and long-lasting implications.

It's a pretty simple takeaway today. Be willing to say "no clue." Have the humility to admit you don't know something, then the added humility to seek out the answer from someone who does. The most successful people I know don't know all the answers; they have the humility and wherewithal to know when they don't.

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….So You Don’t Have To

I ran into a blog reader at a coffee shop yesterday. He said he felt conflicted about my recent post revolving around my preparations to ensure my family is financially cared for if I meet an untimely death. On one hand, he respects the fact that I'm trying to make sure my family is taken care of if/when I’m gone. On the flip side, though, he doesn't like that I "always think about money."

In a lot of ways, I get it. If one of our loved ones passes away, there's a deep and profound pain from the loss. Money doesn't matter. In fact, we'd happily give away every single cent we have if it meant we could bring that person back. But we can't. What's done is done. Then, after the initial shock, pain, and horror of loss starts to subside, the next wave of pain hits us: the financial consequences. The loss of income. The funeral expenses. The medical bills. The unknowns about where the money is, what's owed to who, and what ongoing bills need to be addressed. This is a level of stress that only those who have been through it can properly put into context just how heavy it can be.

Back to my friend's comment about me always thinking about money. I actually don't think about money all that much. I don't advise people to think about money all that much. Instead, I'm an advocate for thinking about the money.....so we don't have to think about the money. We address the needs and elephants in the room before life happens; then we can simply live and enjoy life.

This isn't about obsessing about money. Actually, the opposite. It's putting ourselves in a position that we never have to obsess about money. Think about it. The people who are locked in with their finances generally aren't constantly thinking, talking, or obsessing about money. Conversely, the people who don't take the reins on money are often the ones who are constantly thinking, talking, and obsessing about money.....for all the wrong reasons. It gets stressful. The pressure builds. They can cut the tension with a knife! When we don't think about money to some degree, we eventually land in a place where money is all we can think about.

I don't want you to think about money all the time. Heck, I don't even want you to think about it much at all. But in order to get there, we need to think about it and get it right now.....so you don't have to then.

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Threading the B-Dubs Needle

One of the recent developments of my physical health journey is the introduction of macro tracking into my diet. I've written multiple pieces about the importance of staging and stacking habits, and tracking macros is the most recent step in my own journey. I recently had an experience at Buffalo Wild Wings that shed light on a crazy dynamic in nutrition.

Picture this. We're on the back end of a long traveling lacrosse day. We haven't eaten much, and the boys are getting hangry. Someone suggests we hit a BWW establishment on the way home. I open my food-tracking app to see what good options might be for me. Ultimately, I chose a great option that isn't exactly what I would have normally ordered, but it would be tasty. Meanwhile, the family orders the bottomless apps special. Chips and queso, onion rings, mozzarella sticks....it keeps on coming.

I did a good job! By the time I walked out of there, I had limited myself to about 1,200 calories with good protein. Here's what struck me as interesting. Had I eaten what I normally would have, that would have easily exceeded 3,000 calories. More than my daily calorie needs, in one meal, without even trying!!! Wow, that's amazing!

Over the past few days, my eating has been so clean that it's actually been difficult to eat enough food to meet my targets. I eat, eat, and eat more, but since the food is so clean, it's hard to even eat enough.

What a weird dynamic. When we just eat whatever we want, we easily blow past what we should consume, and if we're eating well, it's hard to eat enough. That's a hard needle to thread!

I think much of life operates this way. Without even knowing it, our casual actions are sabotaging our journey right under our nose. One decision here, another decision there. They aren't big deals, we tell ourselves. Yet, these decisions are silently crippling us day by day. And similar to my little macro tracking experiment, tracking our behavior is a great way to catch these little hidden nuances.

When we give ourselves clarity, we collect information. When we collect information, we make better choices. When we make better choices, we unlock better outcomes. It's the circle of life. My best encouragement for you today is to give yourself some much-needed clarity. Get the information you can use. Make choices that push yourself forward. Unlock the outcomes you deserve.

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If Something Happens

I try not to bring it up to Sarah too often, but sometimes it's necessary. If something terrible happens to me, what are her next steps? This is a relevant topic in our household right now due to some potentially risky travel on my calendar this summer. We don't want to live scared, yet at the same time, we can't live naively.

If something happens to me, Sarah needs to be fully equipped with the information, skills, and game plan to enter that new season of life. Frankly, I hate working on this stuff. It gives me a queasy feeling every time I do. However, it's one of the ways I say "I love you" to Sarah and the boys. I owe it to them to be financially prepared for that outcome. They will already have enough hurt on their plates, so we can at least take the financial piece out of the equation.

Today, I want to share a few important components that I believe all families should work through as part of this process. You know, just in case.....

1. An archive of all online passwords. We use an encrypted password app.

2. Securing adequate life insurance coverage that will effectively replace the deceased spouse's income and allow the family to stay afloat. So many people are underinsured.

3. A list of dollar amounts and institution names for all financial assets (and debts). Checking, savings, investments, etc.

4. A repository of all key physical documents (car titles, property deeds, birth certificates, etc.). In our case, it's a safe deposit box at a bank.

5. A collection of other financial documents/policies, such as life insurance, home/auto insurance, disability insurance, wills, etc.

6. Instructions for how the surviving spouse should attack the situation if something were to happen. Having an established roadmap is a huge step. Here's an example from mine. Step 1: Call the life insurance company. Step 2: Deposit the life insurance proceeds *here*. Step 3: Start taking monthly withdrawals of $x from this pool of money to provide for the family.

7. Bring in a trusted friend or family member who will help the surviving spouse get this sorted. Our loved ones don't need to do it alone! I already notified my person and gave him a heads up.

8. Recommendations for companies that might be good resources to help walk alongside the family to manage some of these financial pieces.

These types of actions aren't the product of paranoia or fear, but rather responsibility and care. I won't be here forever, and while I hope I have many more decades on this planet, I want my family to be okay if it happens too soon. I love them so much.

There's no need to get all morbid about this, but it's worth discussing with your spouse. Make a plan, set it aside, live a meaningful life, and hope you don't have to use it for a long time.

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Blind Spots: Pet Edition

I love dogs. I grew up with a dog and never pass up an opportunity to pet a random dog on the street. If the boys keep asking hard enough, we might actually get one for our household soon, too.

Buddy, my childhood friend, showing off part of his Michael Jordan jersey collection.

In my 10+ years of coaching, though, I've realized that pets are one of the biggest financial blind spots for families. It never fails. When I'm going through the initial budget with a new client, and we get to the pet category, the answer is always some form of, "Oh, we spend almost nothing on pets. Probably just a $50 bag of food every few months."

That's when my eyes get really, really big. Pet expenses are secretly crushing people's finances from right under their noses. Yeah, that bag of dog food might only cost $50, but all the other things we don't think about cost hundreds.....or thousands. And the vet expenses!!!! Here's what a typical vet expense monthly rhythm looks like: $0, $0, $0, $0, oh crap! That "oh crap!" moment is where the wheels fall off, and where the math works against us. Pets get sick. Pets get hurt. Pets make poor choices.

I didn't want this piece to be merely anecdotal, so I dug into my client files to find some real-world data. I looked up 8 active clients who have 2+ years of pet data. Here's what it looks like (in order of my research discovery):

• $9,130 over 51 months = $179/month

• $5,860 over 21 months = $279/month

• $6,815 over 47 months = $145/month

• $5,850 over 45 months = $130/month

• $11,730 over 24 months = $489/month

• $15,744 over 24 months = $656/month

• $4,320 over 36 months = $120/month

• $16,482 over 41 months = $402/month

In total, these eight randomized clients had an average monthly pet spend of just over $260/month. I don't know about you, but that's a tad bit different than a $50 bag of food every other month. These families range anywhere from $120/month to $656/month, with unexpected vet bills being the key driver of how high this category can get.

Pets are also one of the main culprits of credit card debt, as there's a deeply emotional component to this. When faced with a life-or-death decision regarding our beloved pets, it's hard to emotionally look ourselves in the mirror and put a rational price tag on our go/no-go decision. Thus, we simply act now and sort it out later. This is having some pretty harsh consequences for families.

Again, this isn't an indictment of pets or pet ownership. Rather, this is my encouragement to make decisions with our eyes wide open. It's totally okay to financially prioritize pets, but we ought to understand what we're really getting into from a financial perspective. The same goes for other categories, too! Eyes wide open is always the best approach. That way, our cute little pets (and all the other choices we make) can truly be blessings in our lives, and not pain points.

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70-Year-Old Travis

A blog reader recently reached out with a thought-provoking question. It's in reference to my repeated insistence that I don't believe in the traditional American retirement. The question was quite lengthy, so I'll paraphrase it: "Do you really expect to be working at 70 years old? What does that even look like?"

It's difficult to project what my life might look like 25 years from now, but I'll share some thoughts on this topic. Interestingly, many blog readers are even better qualified to answer, as they are living this reality of pursuing meaningful work in their 70s as we speak. In any event, I'll start. What does work look like for 70-year-old Travis?

I don't suspect I'll be ripping out endless 10-hour days, but the work will probably resemble full-time. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. How I describe this to others is the idea of shifting. Sometimes we upshift, increasing the intensity. Sometimes we make a lateral shift, merely refocusing our energies. Sometimes we downshift, decreasing the intensity. I suspect work in my 70s will be some form of a downshift from my current rhythm.

• Slower mornings, allowing me to enjoy more coffee time with Sarah, get more reading in, and stay physically active.

• A less regimented schedule. The lines between work days and weekend days get a bit blurrier. A day is a day. Life becomes more fluid. I'll work more when I have more energy and more inspiration, and less when I have less.

• More frequent travel. 4 days here, a couple of weeks there. Much of my work is probably mobile.

In terms of what work I'll be doing, it's hard to say. I don't even know what type of work I'll be doing next year, never mind 2+ decades from now. However, if I had to guess, I suspect it will be a combination of a few things:

• Pouring into the next generation of leaders.

• Building or iterating whatever enterprise I'm called to engage in.

• Serving those who wish to be served, at whatever level they wish to be served.

• Creating content and resources that will remain on earth after I depart.

I'm tremendously curious about what that stage will look like, but I don't want to rush to get there. Life is amazing now. The kids are young, I have tons of energy, and my present work matters so much to me. That future will unfold in due time, and when it does, I hope I still have the same level of conviction about always pursuing meaning and work that matters. I think future me will have a blast navigating that journey.

If you're in your 70s and living some parallel life to future me, I'd love to hear from you. What's changed with your work life since your 40s or 50s?

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Parable of the Oat Milk

We have an oat milk problem at Northern Vessel. For the past four years, we've continually experienced these sharp little moments when we've simply run out of it (or nearly ran out). Considering this ingredient is the base of our most famous and best-selling drink (oat milk cold brew latte), running out of oat milk is a disastrous scenario. As recently as a month ago, TJ and I spent one Saturday afternoon driving to every single Target in the metro, hoping to scoop up as many oat milk cartons as possible. With a lot of time and a little luck, we barely scraped together enough to finish our batch of cold brew lattes.

As I continue to grow into my new role inventory management and vendor relationships, I realize that what we've done in the past is some version of white-knuckling. We see we're running low on product, factor in all the supply-and-demand variables we can think of, mathematically calculate how much end product we'll need, mathematically calculate how much oat milk that necessitates, place an order, and hope the delivery timing is in our favor. There are about 10 factors that go into these calculations, each allowing for the possibility of error, and many of which are contextual guesses. That doesn't even include the delivery timing implications.

In comes me. I have a different idea. A simpler idea. After all, simpler is better......always! Here's the new math:

1. How many cases of oat milk can we store at any given time? 56 (about 168 gallons worth). This is approximately three days' worth of need for us.

2. How many cases of oat milk do we have left today? At the end of each business day, someone counts how manycases we have remaining and reports it to our inventory management Slack channel. Let's say the answer is 20. We have 20 cases left.

3. How many cases are needed to restock us fully? 56 cases - 20 cases = 36 cases. 36 cases would fully stock us again.

4. By 9PM, we place our order for next-day delivery of 36 cases of oat milk. If we are perfect in our execution and our supplier is also perfect, there's 0% chance we ever run out again. If we forget to order or our supplier has an issue, this process still makes it very likely we never run out. No messy math, no brain damage, no forgotten factors.

Simple always wins! It's funny, as I received some pushback on these types of processes internally. Some say it's too simple, lacking the context of all the craziness happening around us. My response to these types of critiques: "Even more reason to keep it simple! We can't afford to let all the changing variables jeopardize our supply chain!"

This really isn't about oat milk. This is a parable for everything in our lives. Our gut instinct is to always make things more complicated, more complex, and more sophisticated. This is ironic, as simpler almost always beats complex. Simple allows us to keep our heads on straight, removes brain damage from all the mental math, and allows for repetition. It's one thing to get something right once, and an entirely other thing to need to repeat it over and over. Find a way to make your life simpler. Then, after executing, find another! Such a great way to approach this crazy life of ours.

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Define “Actually Enjoy Life”

I received split feedback about the recent post titled A Middle Finger to Our Future Selves. Specifically, it was about the following excerpt:

"...the idea that we don't know whether we'll even be alive when we're older, so we might as well "enjoy life" while we're young. And by "enjoy life," he meant spend, spend, spend. He hated the idea of saving, or heaven forbid, investing. If he had it, he was going to blow it on something fun."

One blog reader replied to this post and said the following: "Your friend is right you know. We should actually enjoy life while we're young and healthy."

I think this comment gets to the heart of a really important decision. How do we define "actually enjoy life"? The friend in my previous post, this blog reader, and countless others tend to define "actually enjoy life" as some combination of spending money on wants and not working. Those seem to be our two cultural measuring sticks of "actually enjoying life."

What if enjoying life is so much more than how much we can spend and how little we can work? I tend to look at life through the lens of meaning. Am I living my most meaningful life? If the answer is yes, then there's a strong probability that I'm "actually enjoying life." If the answer is no, then I may have some issues. But how much money I can spend on wants is not a real driver in that discussion.

This is why contentment is so important. If we define our enjoyment by how much money we can spend on wants, then our ability to enjoy life is essentially capped by our income and resources. If we have many resources, we can be happy. If we don't, we can't. That's a really depressing proposition. Fortunately, it's a lie.

Contentment, on the other hand, disconnects the two altogether. The people I know who are the most content live tremendously enjoyable lives despite having limited resources. They don't allow stuff and leisure to define happiness. This disconnect in definitions is also one of the reasons there are so many people unhappy, fantasizing about retirement, while others are still working in their 70s, happy as a clam. This group of positive and optimistic people aren't defining themselves by how much they can spend or how little they can work. They are merely soaking up every bit of meaning they can find in this life.

Yes, we should "actually enjoy life." Amen to that! However, I don't think it's as simple as deciding to spend as much money on wants as possible. Instead, I believe it comes from pursuing meaning each and every day. Meaning in our home life. Meaning in our work life. Meaning in our generosity. Meaning.....period. The rest will sort itself out.

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