The Gear For Growth

Today is a big day in my world. I'll be attending the Global Leadership Summit in Chicago, IL. For me, this is my Super Bowl! This is the 12th consecutive year that I'll attend this world-class event, and I look forward to it every year.

I know 30-year-olds who believe they already know everything. I know 70-year-olds who behave like they still have much to learn. And everyone in between. Here's what I've discerned over the years: The most successful people I know are the ones who have a gear for growth. They take the posture of a lifelong learner, and never outgrow the ability, willingness, or humility to learn from others.

No matter how many Summits I attend, I know that I'm going to learn something that will forever change the trajectory of my life. It's happened every time, and I suspect these next few days will be no different. The same applies to books, podcasts, or other forms of content. Each piece of content has the power to help us grow.....if we're willing to have that gear.

It's only when we turn off the gear (or fail to turn it on in the first place) that we stagnate. And when we stagnate, we regress. And when we regress, we and those whom we have the privilege of serving suffer.

The more I've learned these past 12 years, the more I realize how much I have yet to learn. I don't even think I've scratched the surface, and I believe I owe it to those around me to become better.....in all the ways.

Therefore, today is going to be amazing. I pray that something smacks me square in the face and transforms a piece of me that needs to change. Please pray for me in that, too. On the flip side, I pray you turn on that gear for growth as well; and once it's on, you keep it on. We're never too old, too wise, too smart, too experienced, or too accomplished to learn from others. Today is a great day to learn.

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The Timing Couldn’t Have Been More Perfect

I received an amazing text yesterday! A casual friend texted me out of the blue, as he does from time to time. He loves talking about finance, investing, and the stock market. Here was his text: "When do you think the stock market will turn around and recover?"

That's an interesting question.....and an amazing text! What makes it an amazing text, you might ask? Yesterday, the U.S. stock market hit an all-time 155-year high, eclipsing the prior all-time high achieved on June 2nd. Never in history has the U.S. stock market been at a higher level. At the same time, millions of people, including my friend mentioned above, have been led to believe that everything in our country has fallen apart, including the stock market.

It goes to show just how easily people can be manipulated by the news and social media. Even though we all live in a certain reality, all people have to do is repeat the lie enough times for us to believe it. That concept has been studied and practiced for centuries, and this is just a modern version of it.

Year-to-date, the stock market is up by more than 13%. This comes on the heels of +18% in 2025, +25% in 2024, and +26% in 2023. I think the better question we should be asking is, "When will the market crash again?"

My most reasonable answer is, "soon," but nobody knows. Nobody knows.....especially the news and social media. If that's true, what shall we do? I propose we do nothing. The stock market always crashes. That's a feature of a healthy and functioning market. Therefore, I propose we all just take a deep breath, stop doomscrolling, and live our lives. If the market crashes, it crashes. Every crash in the history of our great country has been followed by a period of growth, eventually dwarfing the previous all-time highs.

I hope you find this encouraging, as many people are anxious right now. No, the market hasn't crashed. Yes, it will crash in due time. No, you shouldn't worry. Just stay the course, live meaningful lives, and let the chips fall how they may. And if history can tell us anything, the chips always fall in our favor....eventually.

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They’ll Hate You Either Way

The ten best people I know in this world are hated. When I say "best people," I mean I look at the way they live their lives and truly believe they attempt to live beyond reproach. They love their families. They are passionate about making a difference in this world. They are beyond generous. They live with joy. They lift people up; they don't tear people down.

Yet, despite being beloved by many, they are ruthlessly hated by some. People despise them. They are hated privately, sometimes publicly. Some individuals would pay money to see them hurt....or worse.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned this year is that you WILL be hated. Regardless of how much good you try to do, impact you try to make, or people you try to lift up, you will absolutely be hated. You will be hated for what you believe. You will be hated for what you don't believe. You will be hated for what you say. You will be hated for what you don't say. Heck, you might even be hated for completely falsified and made-up reasons.

Now, you might be thinking this is an oddly pessimistic and downtrodden post. However, there's a flip side to this. If it's true that you will 100% be hated by some, you might as well just live the life you're called to live. If it's inevitable that some will despise you, you might as well be despised for living in truth. If enemies will surely come your way, you best make the biggest impact you can along the way.

I've long ago conceded that despite my best efforts, many people on this planet hate my guts. I often disagree with the reasons they hate me, and some of it is indeed falsified and manufactured, but there's nothing I can do about it either way. Therefore, whenever someone asks me how I can share controversial and countercultural ideas day after day on the blog and podcast, my answer has gotten simpler: People are going to hate me either way, so I might as well make sure it's the right people for the right reasons.

Again, I'm not saying this to be a Debbie Downer. I don't need pity, and this isn't my attempt at self-loathing. Instead, it's my call to action for some of you to get out of the stands and onto the court. I know you're scared of what people will think of you. I felt the same way for years! Unfortunately, they are going to hate you anyway, regardless of whether you pursue your callings and attempt to make an impact on this world. Therefore, you might as well go for it! What do you have to lose?

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Wealthier Than We Think

I recently read something that was tremendously thought-provoking for me, and perhaps you'll agree, too:

"When I was 20, I wanted to be a millionaire. Now that I'm a millionaire, I want to be 20."

I remember when I had no money, lots of debt, limited resources, little influence, a tiny apartment, a second-hand couch, a $100 mattress, and big dreams. That young guy really wanted to make something of himself, and he was far more materialistic than I'd like to admit.

Fast forward more than two decades, and I would give away every single dollar and possession to be that young again. To put it another way, I would consider time far more valuable than any amount of money, wealth, or resources.

This isn't me wishing away my life and lamenting the natural aging process. Rather, it's a recognition that each one of us is far wealthier than we realize. However old we are, 20-years-from-now us would likely give up anything and everything to be exactly where we are today.

Just as I'd give up everything to be 25 again, 65-year-old me would give up everything to be 45-year-old me again. That means I'm far wealthier than I give myself credit for.

Don't waste today. Don't forget how wealthy you are. Maybe not wealthy with money or resources, but wealthy with time.

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The Moment I Knew

One of my commercial clients is comprised of three young, talented, hungry owners. They are brilliant at their craft, but not accomplished business owners.....yet. In the midst of trying to grow their newish business, they lost a key client. Many of their aspirations for near-term growth skidded to a halt, replaced by a sudden need to piece together a few deals to stay afloat.

One of them recently reached out with a question. I immediately called them back and happened to catch them while they were driving across the state for a work project. One of the owners said something to me that quickly caught my attention. They recently purchased a mobile Starlink unit so they have high-speed internet in their vehicle on road trips. Why? "While we're on the road, the two people who aren't driving spend time contacting and pitching everyone. Old clients, warm prospects, cold prospects.....everyone."

That's the moment I knew they were going to be just fine. Being brilliant at our craft isn't enough. Often, it takes a mastery of our craft combined with a relentlessness and humility to just go for it. What makes these three individuals unique is that they are impervious to failure. They could have 1,000 doors violently slam in their face, only to knock on the 1,001st door with full confidence that it will be a "yes."

I wish I had that same relentlessness gear they do. I've been thinking a lot about that conversation, and it's forced me to look in the mirror with my own attitude and approach. For as successful as I feel like I've been, I can't help but wonder what things would look like if I developed a gear like these three have. It's an interesting thought experiment, and it pushes me out of my comfort zone. Maybe you need a similar nudge today. A nudge to develop a relentlessness and motor to keep going, regardless of how many shut doors you encounter. Something to think about as you go about your day. Have an awesome one!

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Pizza, Pigeons, and Ice Cream

We concluded our amazing family trip to NYC yesterday, returning home satisfied and exhausted. During the car ride home from the airport, I asked the boys to name their favorite things from the trip. Pax jumped in quick and decisively:

• $1.50 pizza slices from a little place called Mr. Pizza.

• Ice cream (lots and lots of ice cream)

• Visiting the Statue of Liberty

• Playing on the beach (Coney Island)

Finn piped in next:

• Pizza

• Feeding the pigeons

• Riding the subway

• Coney Island roller coaster

I've written on many occasions about the idea that memories don't discriminate based on price. We, parents, love to assign value to activities, memories, and experiences based on how much they cost. I see it all the time in my coaching, and frankly, I'm occasionally guilty of it myself.

During our trip, we dined at some of the most famous restaurants in the city and even took in a Broadway show. The Broadway show was easily the most expensive thing we did, with a total price tag of $600. The boys enjoyed the show, but it didn't even come up when inventorying their top moments. I'll re-summarize their favorites:

• $1.50 pizza slices from Mr. Pizza: $1.50 (duh!)

• Ice cream: $6-$12....several times

• Statue of Liberty: $22/person

• Feeding the pigeons: Free

• Subway: $3/person

• Coney Island Roller Coaster (The Cyclone!): $10/person

• Coney Island Beach: Free

No, it wasn't a cheap trip. Flights, hotels, parking, transportation.....it added up. However, we parents need to give ourselves a break. We don't need to go all-in on fancy, elaborate events. The simplest ideas often win out. The most insignificant moments become the memories. The unexpected happenings between activities create the shared experiences.

In a moment of conviction, I asked Sarah if she regretted spending $600 on the Broadway show. "Not at all! I'm so glad we went." I'm glad one of us feels that way, and perhaps one day the boys will look back fondly at that experience as well. But in the meantime, I'm going to savor that trip....mostly the small little moments. So many beautiful little moments.

It's worth a reminder again today. We don't need to live for the big, elaborate, fancy, costly moments in life. Sure, those are cool; they have value. But we ought not miss the value and beauty in the simple, the small. Have an awesome day!

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Competition, On Steroids

One of my favorite aspects of NYC is how much competition pushes businesses to get better and be better. It's competition, on steroids. If you, as a business, don't find some form of excellence, there are a half dozen businesses that do the exact same thing within a 3-minute walk. It's the ultimate equalizer, forcing everyone to pursue excellence, or else.

Combine that with the fact that rent and overhead expenses are so high, business owners must set the bar very, very high. In all my years of visiting NYC, it's a dynamic I've watched play out in long-form time-lapse. If I go into a business that clearly doesn't practice excellence, I know they will be gone the next time I visit. On the flip side, when I see businesses demonstrate excellence, there's a chance they will be around during subsequent visits. I took my kids to businesses that I first checked out nearly 20 years ago. In one of the most competitive environments in the world, that's quite the achievement! Excellence always wins!

At Northern Vessel, we've long talked about the need for excellent coffee shops to open in our city. We NEED other businesses to be excellent, as it will force us to maintain our focus on the pursuit of excellence. In just the past few weeks, three separate shops have opened in our city, each presenting itself as competition. We don't view them as enemies; we view them as the bar. Will these shops practice excellence? Will they put their foot on the gas and pull business away from us? Only time will tell. Regardless, it will require us to lean harder and harder on excellence, making us better every step of the way. We view that as a win, not a loss.

Competition isn't bad; it makes us better......if we're up for the challenge. I think customers and businesses would be better served if we had an environment that more closely resembled NYC: forced excellence. Get awesome, or get dying. Competition is a beautiful thing, so long as we're up for the challenge. As customers, we should cheer for this sort of environment, mandating that businesses serve us better and better. As business owners, we should embrace the opportunity to serve people better. Everyone wins when competition heats up.

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Ellis Island: The Pursuit

Our family toured the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island yesterday. While the Statue of Liberty was a spectacle to see up close, Ellis Island deeply moved me. From the late 1800s to the mid 1900s, Ellis Island was the focal point of immigration into the United States. In total, more than 12 million people entered the country through that facility. To put its importance into context, nearly 80% of the approximately 1 million U.S. immigrants in 1903 entered the country through Ellis Island.

What moved me most at Ellis Island were all the personal testimonies of some of the 12 million people who entered the U.S. to start a new life. Like this one from Elizabeth Friedman, a 1914 immigrant from Russia: "When we got on the boat and closer to Ellis Island, we saw the Statue of Liberty. And we just hugged each other and cried." I can't even imagine the number of emotions that were going through that family as they waded into their new lives.

This next one moved me as well, but for a different reason. It was a 1985 interview quote from Sam Birnbaum, a Polish Jewish man who immigrated in 1907. "From the first minute that I got here I realized that I am in a country where I am a free man....I have a fighting chance to make a living. That means everything. I didn't realize it as much as I do now, but at that time it was a big thrill."

Here's what I love about his quote. He didn't talk about how all his dreams have been granted, and he'll get everything he wants. Instead, he celebrated his newfound freedom and acknowledged that he has "a fighting chance to make a living." He had hope and a desire to pursue the journey.

Another woman had a quote that reminded me of Mr. Birnbaum. If I remember correctly, it was a woman who immigrated from China in the early 1930s. "Before I came, I read the Declaration of Independence. There was one sentence that said 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.' I have the right to pursue happiness?!?! Wow, it changed my life."

She didn't say that her life was magically better or that all her problems were solved. She reveled in the idea that she now had the freedom and right to pursue happiness. She was ready for the journey.

I think we take for granted just how special our opportunity here in America is. We aren't guaranteed anything, but we live in a place where anyone can pursue their dreams, their aspirations, their callings. We're given the right to pursue the journey, to give it everything we've got. As I read testimonial after testimonial, I couldn't help but think about how entire family trees were fundamentally altered by the pursuits of these brave and ambitious immigrants. It boggles my mind to think about it. And if those folks were willing to step up to the plate with their newfound opportunities, why aren't we? For many of us, it's time to step into this beautiful opportunity before us. Not the promise of some set outcome, but the freedom to pursue the journey for better.

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Culture, One Bite at a Time

I received an interesting text after yesterday's post. "What's the point?" Very mysterious! I couldn't resist. "What's the point of what?" I responded to an old friend. "What's the point of spending money on travel and, more importantly, spending money on food while traveling? It seems wasteful."

Oh, now we're talking! What's the point? I think each person will have a different answer to this question, but my answer is simple: Culture. I'm obsessed with learning about and experiencing other people's cultures. Whether it's cultures here in America or in some of the most distant places on this planet, cultures fascinate me so much.

Why? It's hard for me to put my finger on it, but when I experience other cultures and learn who they are, it helps me better understand who I am. That may sound counterintuitive, but it makes sense in my head. I have my own culture, cultivated from my background, experience, and surrounding forces. It doesn't feel like culture because it's just called life. But to an outsider, it's culture. Therefore, when I experience other cultures, it helps put context around the world I'm not living in, and in turn, the world I do live in. Understanding cultures also helps us live with more empathy, compassion, and connection.

Food is a central part of culture. What we eat and how we eat it is deeply embedded in our respective cultures. One of the best and simplest ways to learn about culture is to eat what they eat. Their flavors. Their traditions. Their styles. Their habits. The same principles apply when I'm eating a cannoli in Little Italy as when I'm served fermented horse milk in Mongolia. Culture. History. Context. I love it! And through that process, it helps me learn about their story, my story, and our collective story. There's value in that.

I encourage everyone to travel and eat. Immerse yourself in someone else's culture, whether it's the state next door or somewhere on the other side of the globe. But travel, eat, grow. Embrace every opportunity you have to experience someone else's culture, and never take those moments for granted. One experience, one bite at a time.

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(Not) Running It Into the Ground

My family is in NYC for a few days. It's been so much fun watching the looks on the boys' faces as they experience the wonders of one of the greatest cities in the world. I feel like a kid every time I'm here, which makes it even more special to experience it with my own kids.

I love talking about travel. I talk about it with friends, clients, and whoever else will engage with me. Whenever that topic arises, I hear one common theme: It's impossible to manage costs while traveling......especially food. Heck, I have people regularly tell me that it's impossible for a family of four to dine out in the Midwest for less than $100, never mind what it would cost to eat in one of the most expensive cities in the world.

I couldn't disagree more with this narrative, and yesterday was a perfect example. Sure, we could have blown it out of the water and easily dropped $300. It would be a very easy lift to astronomically run up the tab. However, we decided to keep it simple.

We started by finding an awesome little bodega in Midtown Manhattan to get some sandwiches. I indoctrinated Pax into the sausage, egg, and cheese on a roll with salt, pepper, and ketchup club. Classic, and delicious. Then, we walked next door for a few massive slices of NY-style pizza. We finished the meal with a massive cookie from a local bakery. All in, $50. Not bad for dinner in the big city for a family of four.

I'm not saying this is what every family should do for every meal, but I want people to remember that it's possible to travel on a budget. It's possible to explore a city's food scene without blowing tons of cash or running up the credit card. Good food doesn't discriminate. Some of the best food in the world is cheap. Some of the most enjoyable meals on this planet are accessible without breaking the bank.

Get out there and explore. Try new things. Be curious. Dive into foods and cultures that might seem a little foreign to you. Just enjoy! However you choose to do it, you don't need to spend an arm and a leg. Bon appetit.

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Anti-Protection

Pax and a friend started their car-washing business yesterday on a blistering 108-degree heat-index day. I'm not sure how much actual work they got done, but they seemed content with how the day played out and were excited to get started. When I picked him up from his buddy's house, he said, with his little red face, "I'm so thirsty!"

"I have an idea," I exclaimed. I told him I needed to stop to get gas, and when I did, he could go in by himself and buy whatever drink he wanted.

"I don't want to spend the money I just made," he said. "On me. I'm buying, bud. Whatever you want."

"That's okay, I don't need anything."

This wasn't about wanting or not wanting a drink. He was nervous about the idea of going into the story by himself, picking something out, then engaging one-on-one with the cashier. I knew this; he knew this. I wasn't going to let him dodge it, though.

"You got this, man. You don't even have a choice. You go get yourself a fun drink. Set your drink on the counter, hand him the cash after they give you a price, receive your change, and thank them before leaving. Easy!"

"My legs hurt. I don't think I can go in."

"I'm not letting you chicken out on this. You'll be so glad you did this. Here's the cash, go take care of business!"

He slowly and anxiously walked from the gas pumps to the front door and reluctantly let himself in. Three minutes later, though, he came out looking like a new man. He had a huge smile on his face, along with an ice-cold Gatorade.

It reminded me of a recent conversation I had with a buddy. During this chat, my friend explained that his job as a dad is to protect his kids from getting into uncomfortable situations. As a father, he wants to make sure he absorbs the discomfort for them.....as a sign and product of his love.

I don't think that's loving; I think it's crippling and enabling. As parents, we need to be anti-protection. We need to meter out the discomfort. We need to put our kids in situations that make them nervous. Not set them up to get hurt or create lifelong trauma, but to face little fears when the stakes are lower, allowing them to grow and collect wins.

That was a big moment for Pax yesterday. He reluctantly faced a fear, and I have a feeling he'll be much more confident next time he's in a similar situation. Be the anti-protection your kids need. They don't need to live in a manufactured, make-believe bubble. They need to be tested with real-life situations. Seize those fun little opportunities and watch them grow.

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Chicken or Egg?

I recently stumbled upon a heated online conversation on a social media platform. The original poster posed a question: "If so many people are struggling right now, why are there so many people with brand-new vehicles parked in their driveways?" It seemed counterintuitive, as these new vehicles are presumably evidence that people are doing well.

Let's just say the comments were lively. Hundreds of people chimed in, positively confirming that most people are, in fact, doing great. The commenters believed they, individually, were simply part of the small share of people who are struggling, while everyone else is thriving.

I have news to break to them (and anyone else who will listen). Those brand-new vehicles sitting in people's driveways aren't evidence that people are doing great. Rather, those same vehicles are one of the primary culprits for why people are struggling so much. People's vehicles are putting them into a financial grave, month after month.

I recently met with a successful-looking couple who, from the outside, appear to have it all put together. They are fit, their kids are cute, their house is immaculate, they have good jobs, and they both drive new vehicles. The subject of the conversation? How they can stay financially afloat and not lose everything. Truth be told, their monthly finances didn't contain many red flags. Lots of normal, but not outlandish spending allocations. However, there were two major red flags.....and both were parked in their garage:

• His vehicle: $1,100/month payment

• Her vehicle: $850/month payment

Total vehicle payments of $1,950. In my brain, that's called a mortgage payment. Two thousand bucks for vehicles!?!? Both assured me that 1) they can afford them, 2) they are perfectly reasonable vehicles, and 3) everyone else has at least as nice vehicles as they do.

They aren't alone. This is a dynamic I see every single week in my coaching work. I've met with hundreds of families, and vehicle tension is the leading contributor to financial pain, suffering, tension, stress, and destruction. Not a lack of income, student loan debt, a failure to budget, or limited financial literacy. Vehicles. Vehicles are literally milking an entire society dry.

Many people who read this piece will roll their eyes at me. This topic often draws the ire of those who digest my content daily. That's okay, though, as this message needs to be shared over and over and over. I so badly want people to live a quality of life, and if I can get them to make different decisions in this vehicle department, I strongly believe it will have a direct positive impact on their quality of life.

We need more humility. We need more patience. We need to care a whole lot less about what others think. That's the ticket to some beautiful things in our lives. Please don't allow a vehicle to play a significant role in your journey. It can play a role, but not a leading role. You deserve better; much, much better!

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“Is This Heaven?”

"Is this heaven?"

"No, it's Iowa."

We watched Field of Dreams during a recent family movie night. I've been waiting 10 years to show this one to the boys, and man, it didn't disappoint! I was a little nervous that they would find it boring or too slow-moving, but they both gave it a 10/10.

After the movie, I asked them what they liked most about the movie. Pax already had the answer on the tip of his tongue: "How he wanted to play catch with his dad at the end."

I about melted! That is also my favorite scene. I remember watching that scene when my kids were just babies. I melted then, too, knowing I had two little boys swaddled next to me, and someday, I might get to play catch with them.

A simple act of catch. Two gloves, a ball, the sound of birds chirping, and a silent understanding that this moment matters. It's the perfect illustration of the beauty of life.

We're about to go on two family vacations in the weeks to come, and all I can think about is how badly I want to live in the moment and maximize the experiences I get with our little family.

Every little moment counts. Life doesn't have to offer these big, massive events for us to savor the beauty of the moment. Even the small things, the mundane things, the uneventful things can trigger experiences and create memories that will go to the grave with us.

Don't look past the opportunity to create moments and memories with your kids. Time goes too fast, and we don't want to let too much time pass before we realize some of the most amazing opportunities of our lives stand before us in the present.

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Discouraged, But Not Destroyed

I often discuss the importance of sinking funds. If you're new to the concept, a sinking fund is a named savings account with a specific purpose. Funding said savings account is baked into the rhythm of a monthly budget, slowly building up over time for its eventual use. These types of accounts work great for lumpy expenses:

• Car Maintenance

• Medical Expenses

• Travel Costs

• House Repairs

• Kids Activities

• Vet Bills

Here's how to know if something in your life would make for a great sinking fund. If a certain expense could smack you in the face out of nowhere and, in doing so, immediately sabotage your finances, that would make a great sinking fund.

This brings me to my day. In a few hours, I will load my car onto a tow trailer and sit next to a tow-truck driver for a 4.5-hour trek back home. The cost for this marvelous tow / Uber ride? $750. Yeah, it's gonna suck. I drove my 350Z to the cattle ranch this week, and as I was nearing my destination, I heard some unpleasant sounds coming from the engine. There's a chance my engine is toast.....there's a chance it isn't. We'll have to wait until after my $750 tow to find out. It's a mess. I'm frustrated. I'm discouraged. The good news, though, is that I've been funding my car maintenance sinking fund each month for the past 21 years.

Today could have wrecked my finances. It could have imploded us and caused tremendous tension in my marriage. Instead, thanks to the sinking fund, it's just going to be really, really frustrating. We have about $1,400 in our sinking fund ready for such an occasion. I'm grateful we had the discipline to fund this sinking fund each month, even when more enjoyable options were on the table.

Sinking funds are game-changers. In fact, many coaching clients tell me that setting up sinking funds was one of the biggest decisions they made during their ongoing financial journeys. Perhaps it's time to set one up today.....

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Whatever Means

A friend recently asked me a very pointed question. Based on some of the things I've said in recent posts about creating and shipping, this friend wanted to know if I think everyone should be publishing a blog or recording a podcast. I've never actually thought about that question before, and I was a bit surprised this person believed that was my position.

While it's true that I often discuss the idea of creating and shipping, I find myself speaking through the lens of writing and podcasting because that's my palette, my canvas. I actually don't think I'm called to write, or podcast, or speak, or (fill in the blank here). Rather, my calling is to serve others with whatever means I can use.

You have the same calling. However, "whatever means" varies greatly from person to person. For some, it's doing plumbing. For others, it's teaching children. For some, it's writing computer code. For others, it's being an accountant. Each one of us possesses skills, passions, and influence that we can choose to use to serve others.

"Choose" is the key word. We have a choice. We all have a choice. Every day we wake up with a choice. Will I use my skills, passions, and influence to make a difference today?

When I left my prior career to serve people in a different way, all I knew was that I was going to use financial coaching as my means for impact. Then came podcasting (which I never saw coming). Then came speaking (which I never saw coming). Then came writing (which I never saw coming). Then came consulting (which I never saw coming). Then came Northern Vesse (which I never, never, never, never saw coming). None of those were my callings. My calling was to serve people with my skills, passions, and influence, and those ended up being the means by which I could bring those things to life.

Be willing to get creative with the means. You have skills. You have passions. You have influence. Be willing to approach your life with a clean slate on how you can use those things to serve people. Your best ways may still be in front of you.

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“They Are Spending My Inheritance!!!”

I was recently hanging out with a group of Millennials and Gen Xers when one of them started talking about her parents' European cruise. As she was describing it, it sounded pretty fun! Bouncing from country to country, different cultures, varying cuisines, beautiful landscapes. What's not to like?!?! However, perhaps I was being dense, but I wasn't immediately picking up the point of her story. That is, until she ended it with this bomb: "They are spending my inheritance!!!!"

Excuse me, what?!?! A grown independent woman is venting about how her parents are on a cruise, lamenting that they are spending her future money. I was stunned by this, and part of me was bracing for the verbal backlash she was about to get from the others in the group (please go easy on her, friends!!!).

Well, I was apparently too dense to pick up on that next part as well. Most people in the group agreed with her! Several people shared stories about how their inheritance is being eaten up by their parents' financial decisions.

If you know me, you know I don't believe in financial inheritances to begin with. However, that's just my personal perspective, and people can do what they want. That said, my personal opinion doesn't prevent me from saying what I'm about to say next: We don't have the right to count other people's money and bank on receiving anything from anyone. We're not entitled to anything in this life.....especially gifts received upon someone's passing. I find that mindset to be disgustingly abhorrent.

I've watched this mindset play out for years in my professional work. It can be destructive in people's lives. For example, if someone KNOWS they will eventually receive a large financial gift as an inheritance, it can often be psychologically debilitating. When we know how the story ends (i.e., I'm going to receive a huge sum of money), it undercuts our need and motivation to figure it out ourselves. This can be a crippling force in our lives. I can't even express to you how hard it is to coach couples that have known upcoming windfalls. It's hard enough to change habits when there's much riding on it, never mind when there's an offramp to easyville dangling in our future. I get it; nobody is going to pull out the mini violins for people who will one day receive millions. But when you see it as often and up close as I do, it's sad! I have so much empathy for those folks. They've been unknowingly robbed of something so important in life.

Today's takeaway is two-pronged:

• To the younger generation: Don't expect anything. Live your lives as if you'll receive nothing. Figure it out. Work hard. Be disciplined. Practice delayed gratification. Save for the future. Know that you need to carve your own path. You can do it!

• To the older generation: Please don't psychologically cripple your children. Don't dangle carrots that will hinder their growth and eradicate their aspirations. Don't give them an offramp to easyville. If you want to give, consider giving earlier, while you're still alive, during a season where your generosity can genuinely help them. That could be a true blessing.

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Outgrowing Your Structure

I recently met with a couple who are becoming progressively more frustrated with their finances. This seems counterintuitive, though, as they are making far more money than they ever have before. Why, then, are they getting frustrated? It's pretty simple: The current complexity of their life has outgrown their financial structure.

Translation: The way they used to handle finances worked well then, but not so much anymore. It was easy to wing it and be more casual when there was less income and fewer obligations. However, life is getting more complicated, and the old way of doing things seems inadequate at best, destructive at worst.

It reminds me of a similar situation we're having at Northern Vessel. Nearly four years in, it's safe to say our business looks a little different than it once did. During a recent team dinner (celebrating one of our team members who left to pursue a new dream), it was time to pay the bill. TJ couldn't be there, so it was on me to pay. Unfortunately, I forgot to ask TJ for the debit card. At the last second, Jack swooped in to pay the bill, somehow having TJ's card in his wallet.

That's right, we literally have only one debit card. The entire company has been operating with one debit card and one checkbook. We have tens of thousands of dollars in monthly expenses, yet the entire operation rests on one debit card and one checkbook. We've outgrown our structure, and we're experiencing the consequences.

Whether it's the family I mentioned above or a company like Northern Vessel, we must iterate on the structure as we grow. What once worked might not be adequate in the new season of being. Taking the "this is the way we've always done it" approach is a surefire way to end up in a bad place. Therefore, we need to give ourselves permission to evolve, adjust, and continue to find better ways to handle ourselves.

Some of you are handling your family's finances the same way you did when you were young, single, broke, and fresh out of college. Except now, you have a spouse, kids, a house, and multiple incomes. It might be time to update the structure! For some of you, simply upgrading the way you do things might be the ticket to significantly better outcomes. It doesn't matter if you've done it the same way for 20 years.....it might be time to adjust.

Never be scared to make changes. As life becomes more complicated, find ways to simplify and find order amidst the chaos. You'll thank yourself later!

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What’s Your Weird?

People frequently tell me that I'm "weird" in how I spend money. I never take offense to these comments. In fact, I love them! I wear them as a badge of honor, and in some ways, they tell me I'm right where I need to be. Here are some examples of things people have told me I'm weird for doing:

• When it comes to my personal residence, I'm a perpetual renter. I've owned two houses in my adult life, but I much prefer renting over owning.

• The biggest category in our household budget is giving. This is non-negotiable.

• Our second-largest category is travel. This is also a non-negotiable.

• I will gleefully spend a few hundred dollars on a first-class meal. I've had $25 dinners that felt expensive and $250 dinners that felt cheap. An amazing meal is worth its weight in gold.

• There's no amount of money too much when it comes to creating once-in-a-lifetime memories.

• When I'm at a coffee shop, restaurant, or bar with someone, I almost always offer to pay for them.

• If someone offers to buy my coffee, meal, or drink, I accept.....always. No exceptions.

• When eating at a sit-down restaurant, the minimum I’ll tip is 20%, but it’s usually closer to 40%-50% if the server demonstrates excellence. It’s one of the few areas of life where people will gratefully accept generosity, so I love to lean into it as much as possible.

• I will never purchase a new vehicle. In fact, I've never purchased a new vehicle. At best, any vehicle I purchase is probably at least 3-4 years old.

• I will always pay for services that save me time, sanity, or stress.

What say you? Do you find these weird? I hope so, as you're different than me. That's what makes this money stuff so fascinating. We're all wired differently, heavily influenced by our experiences, values, upbringing, and circumstances.

I want to know what weird money habits you have. Please hit reply to this e-mail if you're a subscriber, or comment below if you're on the website. Please share your quirks with me. If enough people reply, I'll put together a fun little list and share it in a future post. Have an awesome (and weird!) day.

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There Are No Secrets

After a recent public speaking engagement, during the customary Q&A session, someone asked an interesting question: "I heard you've written and published your writing more than twelve hundred days in a row. First, is that true? If so, what are your secrets?"

Every day since November 14th, 2022. Pushing nearly 1,400 days now. It hurts my head to think about that. It doesn't feel real; it doesn't feel possible.

The secret is there are no secrets. As I've learned about writing, and the same goes for almost any discipline, the only way to write is to write. The only way to publish is to publish. What is required of me is to sit down in front of a screen and create.

Follow-up question: "Do you write a bunch at once and batch it for the next several days?"

No batching. One piece of writing per day, every day, no exceptions. There's something wild that happens inside us when we eliminate the excuses and just commit to the craft. It strips away any and all shortcuts and shortcircuits that could potentially sabotage the habits we're trying to create. I write because I write because I write. At some point, these habits become as normalized and as common as brushing our teeth or tying our shoes. It's just what we do.

Here's another way to think about it, back to my comment above about how it doesn't feel real or possible to write nearly 1,400 days in a row. The good news is I didn't have to write 1,400 pieces. I just had to write one. Then another one. Then another. I'm writing one today. Then tomorrow, I'll write one, too. The only one that matters is the next one. There's a freedom in that! Whatever we're trying to accomplish, just worry about the next one. After that one is done, we can worry about what lies on the other side of that one.

So many people have so many dreams. But those dreams seem daunting, maybe even impossible. You don't need to accomplish all those dreams in one fell swoop. You only need to accomplish the next thing that's sitting in front of you. Then, move on to the next.

I recently had a buddy run a marathon. Running 26.2 miles boggles my mind, so I asked him how he approaches it. "It usually takes me about 40,000 steps to complete it. It's too overwhelming to think about 40,000 steps, so I just try to focus on the next step. If I can stay focused and use good technique for the next step, eventually, the next step will be the 40,000th step. It just kinda happens."

The next step. The next step is all that matters. That's the secret. There are no secrets. Just one foot in front of the other, whether literally or figuratively. Have a great day!

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The 20-Year Reverse Age Gap

One of my friends retired two years ago at 53. He's one of those men who always seemed younger than his age. He had a little extra pep in his step; another gear. Perhaps that's what made him so successful in his career, leading him to a point where he could afford to retire at age 53. Boy, was he ever dreaming for that day to come!!! He couldn't wait to peace out and stop working. For the past two years, he's lived his dream of pursuing a life of leisure. Lots of golf, lots of relaxation, lots of time in his shop.

He and I recently reconnected. I say this with the utmost respect, and he gave me permission to write about it, but he looks terrible! He looks like he has aged two decades in the past two years. No health issues. From all accounts, he's a generally healthy dude. When we talk, that spark he used to have is gone. That extra pep in his step is missing. He admitted that retirement life wasn't what he was expecting. There's something missing, but he can't quite put his finger on it.

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I recently chatted with another friend. She's 75 years old and still fully engaged in her career. She's one of the most joyful, energetic people I know. When it comes to peps in steps and extra gears, she's the definition. I've known her for about a decade, and all I've known is joy, energy, passion, and purpose. The world tells her she should retire to "finally enjoy life," all the while, all she's doing is enjoying life! She and I regularly talk about work. She speaks so highly of her career, proud of what she's built. The little meaning in her day-to-day. The joy of serving her clients well. Getting up in the morning and knowing there's a purpose to the day. Yeah, she enjoys her family, friends, and travel, but her work still provides purpose.

This friend redefines our culture's perspective on "enjoying life." She could be sitting on a beach, yet here she is, making more of an impact than ever before. Not at the expense of her happiness and enjoyment, but as one of the primary contributors to her happiness and enjoyment. I never want to use the word "hero" lightly, but she's a hero of mine. I watch how she handles herself, and I aspire to be more like her.

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These two friends have a 20-year age gap, but their ages might as well be reversed. Is it luck? Is it health? Is it genetics? I can't prove it, but I can't help but think about how much their career choices have influenced this counterintuitive discrepancy. Someday, I'd like to conduct a study on this topic, but in the meantime, the overwhelming anecdotal evidence I witness day in and day out continues to affirm that work matters far more than we give it credit for.

A tip of my cap to you, my friend. You inspire me and countless others!

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