The Daily Meaning
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Full-Circle Dinners
During one of my first coaching sessions, I told the couple that when they got out of debt, we would go out for a celebratory dinner at any restaurant in the metro they wanted, my treat.
I began doing financial coaching about 10 years ago, starting as a personal ministry. I knew I could help people, and I knew people needed help, so I used whatever giftings God gave me to serve people in that area of life.
During one of my first coaching sessions, I told the couple that when they got out of debt, we would go out for a celebratory dinner at any restaurant in the metro they wanted, my treat. I thought it was a great little impulsive idea, so I repeated the same line to every couple I coached. These couples had tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars of consumer debt. Student loans, car loans, credit cards, medical debt….so much debt! Over the years, I've had dozens of debt-free dinners, my treat. We've done fancy steakhouses, old-school Italian, swanky French, and countless others. Those dinners are so much fun, and they're a great way to memorialize the hard counter-cultural work people have done on this financial journey. Dozens of times, I've been able to raise a glass and toast these couples' beautiful achievements.
During one of those earliest coaching meetings, I also said something else, tongue-in-cheek. The debt-free dinner is at any restaurant they choose, my treat. Then, someday, when they become millionaires, we'll go to any restaurant I want, their treat. It was more of a half-joke than anything; my attempt to bring humor and optimism to the otherwise heavy conversation. Think of it as a seed planted. After all, these were often couples buried in debt, struggling with finances, and feeling the tension in their marriage because of it. The mere idea of becoming millionaires felt far-fetched......but what if? I don’t actually think reaching this arbitrary status is some important endeavor, but it grounds people in optimism. What if?
Years later, I'm starting to receive phone calls from current and former clients:
"It's time to schedule our millionaire dinner. Where are we going, Travis?"
"Travis, what's your favorite restaurant? It's almost time for our million-dollar dinner?"
Or this text I recently received: "I'm not sure how it happened, but we did it! This doesn't even feel real, but it looks like we owe you a fancy dinner."
Progress often feels slow in the moment. However, after a while, we'll have that little moment where we look down the mountain from which we climbed, only to realize that we've made far more progress than we ever thought possible.
Step by step, day by day, decision by decision, sacrifice by sacrifice. Nothing is easy, but it can be simple. The key is stepping back far enough to recognize that small steps (eventually) yield profound progress. These full-circle dinners are a beautiful reminder of that for me. What once was full of pain, tension, and suffering can slowly blossom into something that never seemed fathomable. We ought not forget that, especially on the hard days when success feels anything but possible.
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The Mic Is Hot
I never really thought of that as a gift, but it turns out it's a skill most people don’t possess. Then, something happened. After my Black Friday neck injury and subsequent cognitive issues, I lost this gift.
I never really thought about this as a gift, but after countless conversations with various people in my life, I've come to understand that it is, indeed, weird. Whenever I record the Meaning Over Money Podcast (SPOTIFY / APPLE), I don't have a script. I don't use notes. I don't have an outline. There are no edits. I turn the mic on, discuss the topic on my mind, and turn the mic off about 12-15 minutes later. Then, Cole slaps on our intro and cleans up the audio quality. He doesn't splice, cut, or edit my words in any way. One take, done. We've done that twice per week for nearly five years.....approximately 440 episodes.
I never really thought of that as a gift, but it turns out it's a skill most people don’t possess. Then, something happened. After my Black Friday neck injury and subsequent cognitive issues, I lost this gift. I could no longer turn the mic on and cook. It was gone! Slowly, over time, I regained most of my pre-injury capacities and abilities—all except for my gift for turning the mic on and recording my podcast. For much of early 2026, I rode the struggle bus. It was difficult to record. Difficult to string my ideas together. Difficult to produce something impactful, engaging, and meaningful. Our last episode was published in March; crickets since then.
The mic is hot again! After eight months of struggles, I'm finally able to turn that mic on and live my best life. I recorded three episodes last week, and I couldn't have been more excited about it. They felt natural. They felt good. They were even a bit spicy. We will start regularly releasing episodes in the next few weeks.
It's so easy to take our gifts for granted. I recorded more than 400 podcast episodes without realizing how second nature it had become. Then, in a moment's notice, I lost that gift. I mourned the loss of that gift, but more profoundly, I beat myself up for not appreciating the gift in the first place.
All of us have gifts. They don't always feel like gifts, but they are! It's our job to recognize them, embrace them, and harness them for good. Find yours, embrace them, and use them to make a mark in this world. I'm excited the mic is hot again, and I hope you're excited to use your gifts as well.
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An Experiment In Leisure
I often write about my qualms with our cultural obsession with retirement. Specifically, our collective pursuit of a life of leisure. In theory, this is the secret to happiness and satiation, but in reality, it's just empty calories.
I often write about my qualms with our cultural obsession with retirement. Specifically, our collective pursuit of a life of leisure. In theory, this is the secret to happiness and satiation, but in reality, it's just empty calories. Instead, what we should all be pursuing is a life filled with meaning. No, leisure isn't a bad thing, and we should all find ways to enjoy leisure along the journey. However, leisure for leisure's sake is ultimately an unsatiating endeavor.
This brings me to an experiment I recently conducted. In May, I decided to carve out a little extra time for leisure this summer. A few more trips, a few more low-key days. I didn't plan these trips and events methodically, but rather, slotted them in wherever they fit. The accidental consequence was a three-week stretch that included the following:
5 days in NYC with the family.
A few days at home.
A 3-day conference in Chicago to learn, grow, and enjoy.
A few days at home.
8 days on the lake with the family.
I'm currently in the middle of my lake time with the family. We've had a great time together. Heck, I enjoyed NYC and the conference as well. It's all been wonderful. Just one problem: It's too much leisure! I can't even explain how much I miss my normal rhythm of work, productivity, and impact. I'm ready to get back into the grind.
Leisure is amazing, but just like chocolate chip cookies, Old Fashioneds, and the free breadsticks served at Fazoli's, too much of a good thing isn't a good thing. Leisure has its place, and that's properly sandwiched between good work.
These last three weeks have proven to me once again that traditional retirement is not the ticket to happiness. Leisure, without having something to leisure from, just doesn't hit as hard. As many of my friends and I have gotten older, I've explored this topic with many people. What should "retirement" look like? For me, it will likely take the form of full-time work, but with more trips. Maybe three weeks on, one week off. Or six weeks on, two weeks off. Maybe it will be one full-time job. Maybe it will be a series of smaller, part-time jobs. Maybe it will be running my companies. Maybe it will be doing consulting work, speaking, and/or writing. Maybe it will be volunteering.
I have no idea what that Travis will have in store for him. But one thing I do know is that leisure for leisure's sake is not in the cards. Leisure, yes. But leisure sandwiched between good work. That's the ticket.
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Anchoring
Why do you spend $x on a certain category each month? The answer probably isn't too deep, and it likely has something to do with the fact that's what you always spend on said category each month. But why? Because that's the way you've always done it.....or at least that's the way you've done it long enough for it to be ultra-normalized.
Why do you spend $x on a certain category each month? The answer probably isn't too deep, and it likely has something to do with the fact that's what you always spend on said category each month. But why? Because that's the way you've always done it.....or at least that's the way you've done it long enough for it to be ultra-normalized.
Now, maybe that's how much you should spend on that category. Maybe it's the perfect number, but probably not. It's probably not even close to the right number. However, we choose that number because we're anchored by the past. We're so accustomed to spending that amount of money each month that we don't even question what it should be. Should it be more? Should it be less? We haven't even considered it!
Once in a while, I'll ask a client who is fully locked into their finances to complete a fun exercise. Instead of basing their next month's budget off what they've done in the past, I'll give them a blank budget with all their utilized categories, and force them to build it from scratch.
You might think they would largely end up in the same place as what they already do every month. You'd be wrong! Most times, this exercise yields completely different results. It's amazing what happens when we remove the anchors from our decisions, and instead, assess each category as it actually lives in our lives. There's a purity in this exercise. It allows us to remove the fog of complacency, the bias toward past realities, and the frictionless non-decision of maintaining the status quo.
I actually think Sarah and I are in need of this exercise soon. Our monthly budgets haven't changed much in the past 18 months, and I don't think that's a good thing. Instead of anchoring ourselves in "normal," we should look at each category through the lens of our current reality. I have a feeling many changes will be made. I encourage you to try this exercise, too!
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81 Years of “Boring”
We don’t have to come up with a world-changing idea to be successful or impactful. Instead, we just need to find a way to implement the Nutty Bar formula in our own lives.
My family enjoyed a Shelton family tradition last night: Nutty Bars in Okoboji. Okoboji is one of our favorite places in the world, and Nutty Bars are woven into the fabric of the Okoboji experience. To give you some context, Nutty Bars are small blocks of vanilla Blue Bunny ice cream with a wooden stick inserted, dunked in chocolate, and rolled in crushed peanuts. Simple, classic, delicious.
Finn’s very first bite of Nutty Bar, age 3.
I was recently talking to a fellow business owner about our anticipation of enjoying some Nutty Bars. “Their business is boring. They’ve literally been doing the same thing for 100 years. They haven’t innovated once.” He scoffed at the Nutty Bar stand……he might as well have insulted my sons!
81 years, actually. They’ve been doing the same thing for 81 years….since 1945. In a world where businesses come and go as often as we change underwear, 81 years is pretty amazing. And they don’t seem to be slowing down. Every time I’m there, hundreds of people are coming or going. I wish I knew more about their business, but they no doubt sell thousands of Nutty Bars each day.
The Nutty Bar stand practices something vitally important in business. They simply offer a consistently excellent product for an attractive price. Simple, consistent, excellent, and more valuable than it costs…..all four components are important. They’ve created a machine that puts smiles on hundreds of thousands of people’s faces, and I suspect they’ve been handsomely rewarded financially for that.
We don’t have to come up with a world-changing idea to be successful or impactful. Instead, we just need to find a way to implement the Nutty Bar formula in our own lives. Stay simple, be excellent, remain consistent, and add more value than we charge. Whether we’re business owners, self-employed, or employees, these values are the building blocks for a fruitful and impactful journey.
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Something From Nothing
I once had a youth group kid who had a unique way of creating an income. With a computer, a $50 game, and a few free online platforms, he generated more than $150,000 per year as a 16-year-old. You heard that right. With almost no cost, a teenager was making six figures from the confines of his childhood bedroom, simply by streaming himself playing a video game.
I once had a youth group kid who had a unique way of creating an income. With a computer, a $50 game, and a few free online platforms, he generated more than $150,000 per year as a 16-year-old. You heard that right. With almost no cost, a teenager was making six figures from the confines of his childhood bedroom, simply by streaming himself playing a video game.
What always fascinated me about this kid was that he never waited for anyone's permission. He just had the courage to try something, the skill set to build, and the discipline to stick with it. All from a few cheap pieces of software and equipment. It wasn't rocket science. Literally every single one of us could have done it.
One of my buddies makes $200,000 per year from a mediocre used camera that he purchased from a neighbor. He had an idea that only required an average camera and some free software downloaded from the web. Then, in a matter of months, he was generating enough income to provide for his family. Nobody granted him permission or approved of such business. He just started....and here we are.
More than half of my family's income comes from me using Microsoft Excel to build tools for businesses. This is a software program pre-loaded onto most computers and has been around for more than 40 years. I have no formal training or certifications. Instead, I started messing around with it when I was a teenager, used it for a few college courses, gained more experience during my 15-year commercial real estate career, and built new skills and capabilities along the way. No permissions needed. Just me, my computer, and a desire to serve people.
Maybe you won't be a streamer. Maybe you aren't artsy with a camera. Maybe you aren't keen on Excel. You have something, though. You have passions, abilities, and expertise that can be cheaply put to use at the snap of a finger. Most of us are just one simple and interesting idea away from creating something that can possibly change the trajectory of our lives or finances. It's not always easy, but it's usually simple.
Creating something from nothing. In a world where everything is on the table, and equipment, software, and online platforms are nearly free, what a time to be alive!
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It’s Actually a Gift
My all-time favorite band, Twenty One Pilots, just released a live album a few days ago. Upon the news of this upcoming release, thousands of fans flooded social media and began throwing shade.
My all-time favorite band, Twenty One Pilots, just released a live album a few days ago. Upon the news of this upcoming release, thousands of fans flooded social media and began throwing shade:
"All they care about is making money!"
"Look at them ripping people off again."
"Always trying to sell something."
As for me, I couldn't wait to purchase this new album. Why? I am receiving it as a gift; their gift to the world. I will happily fork over a little cash for the right, privilege, and honor of listening to this beautiful concert over and over and over again for decades. What a gift!!!!
Our culture is so quick to demonize business. Movie ticket prices? Scam. The price of a latte at a local coffee shop? Highway robbery. A package of beautifully marbled steaks? Greedy farmers! The fee for our tax professional to prepare and file our annual taxes? A racket.
On the flip side, I view each of these as gifts. Enjoying the magic of the movies is a gift. Savoring a wonderfully crafted coffee is a gift. Grilling up some juicy steaks is a gift. Having a trusted tax professional to advocate for me is a gift. Sure, I pay for each of these, but what I receive in return is a gift. That's what business is supposed to feel like.
When we spend money on things that truly add value to our lives, that's a gift. We shouldn't spend money on something and then immediately lament how we were taken advantage of. Instead, we should lean into our values by spending money on things that are truly valuable to US.....then receive the gift for the blessing it is.
This new Twenty One Pilots album is such a gift to me. I couldn't hand over my money fast enough for the right to own a piece of history that I will enjoy for decades to come. It doesn't matter if the artist makes $100 from it or $10,000,000. A gift is a gift, and I'm grateful for it.
As consumers, we should look at our purchase activity through this lens. Business owners, this should also influence how we treat our craft. We're creating a gift that will add value to people's lives. And if we add enough value to enough people's lives, we'll earn the right to make a living carrying this torch. Enjoy the ride and never be ashamed of it. It's an honor, a privilege, and a responsibility.
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Want To Isn’t Enough
This was the first year in quite a while that I didn't carry a tinge of jealousy toward the speakers on that stage.
This year's Global Leadership Summit was amazing. I loved spending time with my friends, and I soaked up the wisdom from many awesome talks. There was one other difference, too. This was the first year in quite a while that I didn't carry a tinge of jealousy toward the speakers on that stage. See, for more than a decade, I've dreamed of one day being on that stage, delivering a talk in front of nearly a half-million people.
Something happened this past year, though. Despite wanting that more than anything, I've realized that I'm not willing to do what it will take to reach that level. The work, dedication, and sacrifice to become a world-class speaker are too great considering some of my other values, dreams, and callings. I mourned that loss for a while, but ultimately, I made peace with it.
It's one thing to want something, but something entirely different to be willing to make it happen. It's an unreasonable wish to want something that we're not willing to earn. Therefore, I can't be jealous. I have no right to be jealous. They put in the work, paid the dues, and made the appropriate sacrifices; I didn't. I do believe there's a world where I could get there, but again, that world would be incongruent with my other values, dreams, and callings.
I still love speaking. I have a handful of professional speaking gigs on the calendar for the coming months, and I'll be tremendously grateful for each. However, I'm trying to do it in a way that aligns with my other values, dreams, and callings. That's where I hope to find my contentment.
I think it's important that we put both sides of the equation on the table. In one hand, place our hopes, dreams, and aspirations. In the other hand, place the work, discipline, and cost that it would take to achieve those things. Are you willing to do what it takes? If so, just do it! If not, admit it. Be willing to acknowledge the reality of your choices, then make peace with it. It makes a big difference!
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The Hardest Pill to Swallow
I don't say all this to discourage people or spark the very hate I'm trying to condemn. Rather, I want to double down on my original point that if what I'm saying about people hating us either way is true, we ought to……..
A few days ago, after my post about how we will all receive hate (whether reasonable, unreasonable, or for made-up reasons), I woke up to two things:
More unsubscribes than any other day in the 4-year history of this blog, and
More email responses than any other day in the 4-year history of this blog, including this gem:
"Hate is deserved. People earn it. It's what you get when you are disgusting and evil. If people don't want to be hated, they shouldn't act like pieces of s*#&. Your post served no point, try again."
I happen to have this person's phone number, so I called him to discuss. I won't share our entire conversation, but I do have permission to share this piece:
Me: "Do you think I am disgusting and evil?"
Him: "Of course not. Doesn't everyone love you?"
Me: "Haha, I suppose some do, but that probably doesn't count the people who have threatened to harm my children or publicly tried to burn my business to the ground. Do you think you're disgusting and evil?"
Him: "You know I'm not. I'm a good person. I'm not hurting anyone."
Me: "Well, I personally know at least two people who despise you so much that they would probably pay good money to see your marriage disintegrate, your business disappear, and your life destroyed. They hate your guts."
Him: "What are you talking about?!?! I haven't done anything to deserve that!!!!"
Me: "I agree. I know you're a decent guy who is trying to do the right thing. I know you mean well. I know your heart. I don't think these people are being reasonable at all. But this is exactly what I was talking about in that post!"
The conversation lasted another 30 minutes after that, and by the time we concluded, I think he understood what I was trying to communicate in that post. This is indeed a hard pill to swallow. The fact that there WILL be people who hate us to a spine-tingling degree is so difficult to grasp. Perhaps our world has always been this way, but either way, it seems to have trended more in this direction in recent years.
As I previously wrote, I don't say all this to discourage people or spark the very hate I'm trying to condemn. Rather, I want to double down on my original point that if what I'm saying about people hating us either way is true, we ought to do the things we're called to do, serve the people we're called to serve, build the things we're called to build, create the things we're called to create, and engage in the work we're called to pursue.
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The Gear For Growth
I know 30-year-olds who believe they already know everything. I know 70-year-olds who behave like they still have much to learn.
Today is a big day in my world. I'll be attending the Global Leadership Summit in Chicago, IL. For me, this is my Super Bowl! This is the 12th consecutive year that I'll attend this world-class event, and I look forward to it every year.
I know 30-year-olds who believe they already know everything. I know 70-year-olds who behave like they still have much to learn. And everyone in between. Here's what I've discerned over the years: The most successful people I know are the ones who have a gear for growth. They take the posture of a lifelong learner, and never outgrow the ability, willingness, or humility to learn from others.
No matter how many Summits I attend, I know that I'm going to learn something that will forever change the trajectory of my life. It's happened every time, and I suspect these next few days will be no different. The same applies to books, podcasts, or other forms of content. Each piece of content has the power to help us grow.....if we're willing to have that gear.
It's only when we turn off the gear (or fail to turn it on in the first place) that we stagnate. And when we stagnate, we regress. And when we regress, we and those whom we have the privilege of serving suffer.
The more I've learned these past 12 years, the more I realize how much I have yet to learn. I don't even think I've scratched the surface, and I believe I owe it to those around me to become better.....in all the ways.
Therefore, today is going to be amazing. I pray that something smacks me square in the face and transforms a piece of me that needs to change. Please pray for me in that, too. On the flip side, I pray you turn on that gear for growth as well; and once it's on, you keep it on. We're never too old, too wise, too smart, too experienced, or too accomplished to learn from others. Today is a great day to learn.
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The Timing Couldn’t Have Been More Perfect
I received an amazing text yesterday! A casual friend texted me out of the blue, as he does from time to time. He loves talking about finance, investing, and the stock market. Here was his text: "When do you think the stock market will turn around and recover?"
I received an amazing text yesterday! A casual friend texted me out of the blue, as he does from time to time. He loves talking about finance, investing, and the stock market. Here was his text: "When do you think the stock market will turn around and recover?"
That's an interesting question.....and an amazing text! What makes it an amazing text, you might ask? Yesterday, the U.S. stock market hit an all-time 155-year high, eclipsing the prior all-time high achieved on June 2nd. Never in history has the U.S. stock market been at a higher level. At the same time, millions of people, including my friend mentioned above, have been led to believe that everything in our country has fallen apart, including the stock market.
It goes to show just how easily people can be manipulated by the news and social media. Even though we all live in a certain reality, all people have to do is repeat the lie enough times for us to believe it. That concept has been studied and practiced for centuries, and this is just a modern version of it.
Year-to-date, the stock market is up by more than 13%. This comes on the heels of +18% in 2025, +25% in 2024, and +26% in 2023. I think the better question we should be asking is, "When will the market crash again?"
My most reasonable answer is, "soon," but nobody knows. Nobody knows.....especially the news and social media. If that's true, what shall we do? I propose we do nothing. The stock market always crashes. That's a feature of a healthy and functioning market. Therefore, I propose we all just take a deep breath, stop doomscrolling, and live our lives. If the market crashes, it crashes. Every crash in the history of our great country has been followed by a period of growth, eventually dwarfing the previous all-time highs.
I hope you find this encouraging, as many people are anxious right now. No, the market hasn't crashed. Yes, it will crash in due time. No, you shouldn't worry. Just stay the course, live meaningful lives, and let the chips fall how they may. And if history can tell us anything, the chips always fall in our favor....eventually.
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They’ll Hate You Either Way
The ten best people I know in this world are hated.
The ten best people I know in this world are hated. When I say "best people," I mean I look at the way they live their lives and truly believe they attempt to live beyond reproach. They love their families. They are passionate about making a difference in this world. They are beyond generous. They live with joy. They lift people up; they don't tear people down.
Yet, despite being beloved by many, they are ruthlessly hated by some. People despise them. They are hated privately, sometimes publicly. Some individuals would pay money to see them hurt....or worse.
One of the biggest lessons I've learned this year is that you WILL be hated. Regardless of how much good you try to do, impact you try to make, or people you try to lift up, you will absolutely be hated. You will be hated for what you believe. You will be hated for what you don't believe. You will be hated for what you say. You will be hated for what you don't say. Heck, you might even be hated for completely falsified and made-up reasons.
Now, you might be thinking this is an oddly pessimistic and downtrodden post. However, there's a flip side to this. If it's true that you will 100% be hated by some, you might as well just live the life you're called to live. If it's inevitable that some will despise you, you might as well be despised for living in truth. If enemies will surely come your way, you best make the biggest impact you can along the way.
I've long ago conceded that despite my best efforts, many people on this planet hate my guts. I often disagree with the reasons they hate me, and some of it is indeed falsified and manufactured, but there's nothing I can do about it either way. Therefore, whenever someone asks me how I can share controversial and countercultural ideas day after day on the blog and podcast, my answer has gotten simpler: People are going to hate me either way, so I might as well make sure it's the right people for the right reasons.
Again, I'm not saying this to be a Debbie Downer. I don't need pity, and this isn't my attempt at self-loathing. Instead, it's my call to action for some of you to get out of the stands and onto the court. I know you're scared of what people will think of you. I felt the same way for years! Unfortunately, they are going to hate you anyway, regardless of whether you pursue your callings and attempt to make an impact on this world. Therefore, you might as well go for it! What do you have to lose?
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Wealthier Than We Think
I remember when I had no money, lots of debt, limited resources, little influence, a tiny apartment, a second-hand couch, a $100 mattress, and big dreams. That young guy really wanted to make something of himself, and he was far more materialistic than I'd like to admit.
I recently read something that was tremendously thought-provoking for me, and perhaps you'll agree, too:
"When I was 20, I wanted to be a millionaire. Now that I'm a millionaire, I want to be 20."
I remember when I had no money, lots of debt, limited resources, little influence, a tiny apartment, a second-hand couch, a $100 mattress, and big dreams. That young guy really wanted to make something of himself, and he was far more materialistic than I'd like to admit.
Fast forward more than two decades, and I would give away every single dollar and possession to be that young again. To put it another way, I would consider time far more valuable than any amount of money, wealth, or resources.
This isn't me wishing away my life and lamenting the natural aging process. Rather, it's a recognition that each one of us is far wealthier than we realize. However old we are, 20-years-from-now us would likely give up anything and everything to be exactly where we are today.
Just as I'd give up everything to be 25 again, 65-year-old me would give up everything to be 45-year-old me again. That means I'm far wealthier than I give myself credit for.
Don't waste today. Don't forget how wealthy you are. Maybe not wealthy with money or resources, but wealthy with time.
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The Moment I Knew
"While we're on the road, the two people who aren't driving spend time contacting and pitching everyone. Old clients, warm prospects, cold prospects.....everyone."
One of my commercial clients is comprised of three young, talented, hungry owners. They are brilliant at their craft, but not accomplished business owners.....yet. In the midst of trying to grow their newish business, they lost a key client. Many of their aspirations for near-term growth skidded to a halt, replaced by a sudden need to piece together a few deals to stay afloat.
One of them recently reached out with a question. I immediately called them back and happened to catch them while they were driving across the state for a work project. One of the owners said something to me that quickly caught my attention. They recently purchased a mobile Starlink unit so they have high-speed internet in their vehicle on road trips. Why? "While we're on the road, the two people who aren't driving spend time contacting and pitching everyone. Old clients, warm prospects, cold prospects.....everyone."
That's the moment I knew they were going to be just fine. Being brilliant at our craft isn't enough. Often, it takes a mastery of our craft combined with a relentlessness and humility to just go for it. What makes these three individuals unique is that they are impervious to failure. They could have 1,000 doors violently slam in their face, only to knock on the 1,001st door with full confidence that it will be a "yes."
I wish I had that same relentlessness gear they do. I've been thinking a lot about that conversation, and it's forced me to look in the mirror with my own attitude and approach. For as successful as I feel like I've been, I can't help but wonder what things would look like if I developed a gear like these three have. It's an interesting thought experiment, and it pushes me out of my comfort zone. Maybe you need a similar nudge today. A nudge to develop a relentlessness and motor to keep going, regardless of how many shut doors you encounter. Something to think about as you go about your day. Have an awesome one!
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Pizza, Pigeons, and Ice Cream
We concluded our amazing family trip to NYC yesterday, returning home satisfied and exhausted. During the car ride home from the airport, I asked the boys to name their favorite things from the trip. Pax jumped in quick and decisively.
We concluded our amazing family trip to NYC yesterday, returning home satisfied and exhausted. During the car ride home from the airport, I asked the boys to name their favorite things from the trip. Pax jumped in quick and decisively:
$1.50 pizza slices from a little place called Mr. Pizza.
Ice cream (lots and lots of ice cream)
Visiting the Statue of Liberty
Playing on the beach (Coney Island)
Finn piped in next:
Pizza
Feeding the pigeons
Riding the subway
Coney Island roller coaster
I've written on many occasions about the idea that memories don't discriminate based on price. We, parents, love to assign value to activities, memories, and experiences based on how much they cost. I see it all the time in my coaching, and frankly, I'm occasionally guilty of it myself.
During our trip, we dined at some of the most famous restaurants in the city and even took in a Broadway show. The Broadway show was easily the most expensive thing we did, with a total price tag of $600. The boys enjoyed the show, but it didn't even come up when inventorying their top moments. I'll re-summarize their favorites:
$1.50 pizza slices from Mr. Pizza: $1.50 (duh!)
Ice cream: $6-$12....several times
Statue of Liberty: $22/person
Feeding the pigeons: Free
Subway: $3/person
Coney Island Roller Coaster (The Cyclone!): $10/person
Coney Island Beach: Free
No, it wasn't a cheap trip. Flights, hotels, parking, transportation.....it added up. However, we parents need to give ourselves a break. We don't need to go all-in on fancy, elaborate events. The simplest ideas often win out. The most insignificant moments become the memories. The unexpected happenings between activities create the shared experiences.
In a moment of conviction, I asked Sarah if she regretted spending $600 on the Broadway show. "Not at all! I'm so glad we went." I'm glad one of us feels that way, and perhaps one day the boys will look back fondly at that experience as well. But in the meantime, I'm going to savor that trip....mostly the small little moments. So many beautiful little moments.
It's worth a reminder again today. We don't need to live for the big, elaborate, fancy, costly moments in life. Sure, those are cool; they have value. But we ought not miss the value and beauty in the simple, the small. Have an awesome day!
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Competition, On Steroids
One of my favorite aspects of NYC is how much competition pushes businesses to get better and be better. It's competition, on steroids. If you, as a business, don't find some form of excellence, there are a half dozen businesses that do the exact same thing within a 3-minute walk. It's the ultimate equalizer, forcing everyone to pursue excellence, or else.
One of my favorite aspects of NYC is how much competition pushes businesses to get better and be better. It's competition, on steroids. If you, as a business, don't find some form of excellence, there are a half dozen businesses that do the exact same thing within a 3-minute walk. It's the ultimate equalizer, forcing everyone to pursue excellence, or else.
Combine that with the fact that rent and overhead expenses are so high, business owners must set the bar very, very high. In all my years of visiting NYC, it's a dynamic I've watched play out in long-form time-lapse. If I go into a business that clearly doesn't practice excellence, I know they will be gone the next time I visit. On the flip side, when I see businesses demonstrate excellence, there's a chance they will be around during subsequent visits. I took my kids to businesses that I first checked out nearly 20 years ago. In one of the most competitive environments in the world, that's quite the achievement! Excellence always wins!
At Northern Vessel, we've long talked about the need for excellent coffee shops to open in our city. We NEED other businesses to be excellent, as it will force us to maintain our focus on the pursuit of excellence. In just the past few weeks, three separate shops have opened in our city, each presenting itself as competition. We don't view them as enemies; we view them as the bar. Will these shops practice excellence? Will they put their foot on the gas and pull business away from us? Only time will tell. Regardless, it will require us to lean harder and harder on excellence, making us better every step of the way. We view that as a win, not a loss.
Competition isn't bad; it makes us better......if we're up for the challenge. I think customers and businesses would be better served if we had an environment that more closely resembled NYC: forced excellence. Get awesome, or get dying. Competition is a beautiful thing, so long as we're up for the challenge. As customers, we should cheer for this sort of environment, mandating that businesses serve us better and better. As business owners, we should embrace the opportunity to serve people better. Everyone wins when competition heats up.
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Ellis Island: The Pursuit
"Before I came, I read the Declaration of Independence. There was one sentence that said 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.' I have the right to pursue happiness?!?! Wow, it changed my life."
Our family toured the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island yesterday. While the Statue of Liberty was a spectacle to see up close, Ellis Island deeply moved me. From the late 1800s to the mid 1900s, Ellis Island was the focal point of immigration into the United States. In total, more than 12 million people entered the country through that facility. To put its importance into context, nearly 80% of the approximately 1 million U.S. immigrants in 1903 entered the country through Ellis Island.
What moved me most at Ellis Island were all the personal testimonies of some of the 12 million people who entered the U.S. to start a new life. Like this one from Elizabeth Friedman, a 1914 immigrant from Russia: "When we got on the boat and closer to Ellis Island, we saw the Statue of Liberty. And we just hugged each other and cried." I can't even imagine the number of emotions that were going through that family as they waded into their new lives.
This next one moved me as well, but for a different reason. It was a 1985 interview quote from Sam Birnbaum, a Polish Jewish man who immigrated in 1907. "From the first minute that I got here I realized that I am in a country where I am a free man....I have a fighting chance to make a living. That means everything. I didn't realize it as much as I do now, but at that time it was a big thrill."
Here's what I love about his quote. He didn't talk about how all his dreams have been granted, and he'll get everything he wants. Instead, he celebrated his newfound freedom and acknowledged that he has "a fighting chance to make a living." He had hope and a desire to pursue the journey.
Another woman had a quote that reminded me of Mr. Birnbaum. If I remember correctly, it was a woman who immigrated from China in the early 1930s. "Before I came, I read the Declaration of Independence. There was one sentence that said 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.' I have the right to pursue happiness?!?! Wow, it changed my life."
She didn't say that her life was magically better or that all her problems were solved. She reveled in the idea that she now had the freedom and right to pursue happiness. She was ready for the journey.
I think we take for granted just how special our opportunity here in America is. We aren't guaranteed anything, but we live in a place where anyone can pursue their dreams, their aspirations, their callings. We're given the right to pursue the journey, to give it everything we've got. As I read testimonial after testimonial, I couldn't help but think about how entire family trees were fundamentally altered by the pursuits of these brave and ambitious immigrants. It boggles my mind to think about it. And if those folks were willing to step up to the plate with their newfound opportunities, why aren't we? For many of us, it's time to step into this beautiful opportunity before us. Not the promise of some set outcome, but the freedom to pursue the journey for better.
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Culture, One Bite at a Time
I received an interesting text after yesterday's post. "What's the point?" Very mysterious! I couldn't resist. "What's the point of what?" I responded to an old friend. "What's the point of spending money on travel and, more importantly, spending money on food while traveling? It seems wasteful."
I received an interesting text after yesterday's post. "What's the point?" Very mysterious! I couldn't resist. "What's the point of what?" I responded to an old friend. "What's the point of spending money on travel and, more importantly, spending money on food while traveling? It seems wasteful."
Oh, now we're talking! What's the point? I think each person will have a different answer to this question, but my answer is simple: Culture. I'm obsessed with learning about and experiencing other people's cultures. Whether it's cultures here in America or in some of the most distant places on this planet, cultures fascinate me so much.
Why? It's hard for me to put my finger on it, but when I experience other cultures and learn who they are, it helps me better understand who I am. That may sound counterintuitive, but it makes sense in my head. I have my own culture, cultivated from my background, experience, and surrounding forces. It doesn't feel like culture because it's just called life. But to an outsider, it's culture. Therefore, when I experience other cultures, it helps put context around the world I'm not living in, and in turn, the world I do live in. Understanding cultures also helps us live with more empathy, compassion, and connection.
Food is a central part of culture. What we eat and how we eat it is deeply embedded in our respective cultures. One of the best and simplest ways to learn about culture is to eat what they eat. Their flavors. Their traditions. Their styles. Their habits. The same principles apply when I'm eating a cannoli in Little Italy as when I'm served fermented horse milk in Mongolia. Culture. History. Context. I love it! And through that process, it helps me learn about their story, my story, and our collective story. There's value in that.
I encourage everyone to travel and eat. Immerse yourself in someone else's culture, whether it's the state next door or somewhere on the other side of the globe. But travel, eat, grow. Embrace every opportunity you have to experience someone else's culture, and never take those moments for granted. One experience, one bite at a time.
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(Not) Running It Into the Ground
Heck, I have people regularly tell me that it's impossible for a family of four to dine out in the Midwest for less than $100, never mind what it would cost to eat in one of the most expensive cities in the world.
My family is in NYC for a few days. It's been so much fun watching the looks on the boys' faces as they experience the wonders of one of the greatest cities in the world. I feel like a kid every time I'm here, which makes it even more special to experience it with my own kids.
I love talking about travel. I talk about it with friends, clients, and whoever else will engage with me. Whenever that topic arises, I hear one common theme: It's impossible to manage costs while traveling......especially food. Heck, I have people regularly tell me that it's impossible for a family of four to dine out in the Midwest for less than $100, never mind what it would cost to eat in one of the most expensive cities in the world.
I couldn't disagree more with this narrative, and yesterday was a perfect example. Sure, we could have blown it out of the water and easily dropped $300. It would be a very easy lift to astronomically run up the tab. However, we decided to keep it simple.
We started by finding an awesome little bodega in Midtown Manhattan to get some sandwiches. I indoctrinated Pax into the sausage, egg, and cheese on a roll with salt, pepper, and ketchup club. Classic, and delicious. Then, we walked next door for a few massive slices of NY-style pizza. We finished the meal with a massive cookie from a local bakery. All in, $50. Not bad for dinner in the big city for a family of four.
I'm not saying this is what every family should do for every meal, but I want people to remember that it's possible to travel on a budget. It's possible to explore a city's food scene without blowing tons of cash or running up the credit card. Good food doesn't discriminate. Some of the best food in the world is cheap. Some of the most enjoyable meals on this planet are accessible without breaking the bank.
Get out there and explore. Try new things. Be curious. Dive into foods and cultures that might seem a little foreign to you. Just enjoy! However you choose to do it, you don't need to spend an arm and a leg. Bon appetit.
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Anti-Protection
"I have an idea," I exclaimed. I told him I needed to stop to get gas, and when I did, he could go in by himself and buy whatever drink he wanted.
Pax and a friend started their car-washing business yesterday on a blistering 108-degree heat-index day. I'm not sure how much actual work they got done, but they seemed content with how the day played out and were excited to get started. When I picked him up from his buddy's house, he said, with his little red face, "I'm so thirsty!"
"I have an idea," I exclaimed. I told him I needed to stop to get gas, and when I did, he could go in by himself and buy whatever drink he wanted.
"I don't want to spend the money I just made," he said. "On me. I'm buying, bud. Whatever you want."
"That's okay, I don't need anything."
This wasn't about wanting or not wanting a drink. He was nervous about the idea of going into the story by himself, picking something out, then engaging one-on-one with the cashier. I knew this; he knew this. I wasn't going to let him dodge it, though.
"You got this, man. You don't even have a choice. You go get yourself a fun drink. Set your drink on the counter, hand him the cash after they give you a price, receive your change, and thank them before leaving. Easy!"
"My legs hurt. I don't think I can go in."
"I'm not letting you chicken out on this. You'll be so glad you did this. Here's the cash, go take care of business!"
He slowly and anxiously walked from the gas pumps to the front door and reluctantly let himself in. Three minutes later, though, he came out looking like a new man. He had a huge smile on his face, along with an ice-cold Gatorade.
It reminded me of a recent conversation I had with a buddy. During this chat, my friend explained that his job as a dad is to protect his kids from getting into uncomfortable situations. As a father, he wants to make sure he absorbs the discomfort for them.....as a sign and product of his love.
I don't think that's loving; I think it's crippling and enabling. As parents, we need to be anti-protection. We need to meter out the discomfort. We need to put our kids in situations that make them nervous. Not set them up to get hurt or create lifelong trauma, but to face little fears when the stakes are lower, allowing them to grow and collect wins.
That was a big moment for Pax yesterday. He reluctantly faced a fear, and I have a feeling he'll be much more confident next time he's in a similar situation. Be the anti-protection your kids need. They don't need to live in a manufactured, make-believe bubble. They need to be tested with real-life situations. Seize those fun little opportunities and watch them grow.
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