Ignore the Bar

“The bar has never been lower.” It’s a saying my friend TJ and I talk about often. We live in a society where the bar, the standard, the excellence, continues to diminish by the day. We settle for mediocrity because, well, mediocrity is often one of the few choices available.

Frankly, I don't care what the bar is. The bar sucks. The bar is a fraud. "Industry standards" and “common practices” are buzzwords to justify complacency and apathy.

I live in a town with 197 restaurants, according to Google. Competition is high, and businesses are fighting for attention, yet the bar remains low. Restaurants regularly offer a medioce product, inconsistent results, bad service, and virtually no hospitality, nonsensical pricing, and then play the victim card when they eventually close their doors. There are definitely some solid places in my town, but so many are missing the mark. The bar has never been lower.

That's why what happened to my family yesterday stands out even more. We were out of town for a lacrosse game. After the frigid game concluded, Sarah suggested we find a restaurant to celebrate. Problem: There were virtually no restaurants between the game and our city. I pulled up Google Maps to see what I could find. Interestingly, there was a town of 1,000 people nearby, and the only restaurant in the town was rated a 4.7 (which is typically a pretty high mark for a restaurant).

We were hungry, so why not?!?! From the moment we walked in, we had a stellar experience. The building was old, but clean. The parking lot was full. Our server was beyond friendly. The drinks and food came out quickly. Drinks were refilled like clockwork. The prices were good. The food was perfectly executed. The staff had a posture of gratitude for us stopping in. In other words, they crushed it!

In a town with 197 restaurants, steep competition, and nearly endless options, the bar is low. Yet, in a town of 1,000, with ZERO competition, the bar is high. This little restaurant ignored the bar and decided "good enough" isn't good enough. This is exactly how small business should be done. I don't know anything about this business other than what I experienced yesterday, but I wish I could shake that owner's hand. Well done!

We (you, me, and everyone we have some level of influence on) need to ignore the bar. We shouldn't care what everyone else is doing. We shouldn't care what's good enough. Instead, we should reestablish the bar. Set a new standard. Raise expectations to a new level. There are two modes by which to live life: Follow along or carve a different path. When it comes to excellence, I suggest we carve a new path. Following the crowd is like discovering a chunk of fool's gold. It looks valuable at first glance, but once you look a bit closer, you realize you lost.

Provide excellence. Demand excellence. Force a higher bar.

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Joy and Pain, Pain and Joy

Two conversations converged on me this week. The first was an increase in the number of social media videos by financial "experts" belittling the act of giving. Or, in their words, "Why give money away now if you could use it to build wealth?" Their overarching point is that the practice of giving is counter-productive to building wealth (it is), and if people would stop being stupid by giving away money now, they would be able to give much more away later (also true).

The second event that happened this week was a critique of my post titled Where's a DeLorean When We Need One?" Specifically, this person's criticism stemmed from the following excerpt:

“Lastly, and most importantly, net worth measurements have a negative correlation with the greatest use of money: generosity. A decade ago, Sarah and I made the decision to give away every single penny we have. Nothing is ours. Everything is to be shared. The natural outcome for this way of life is that our net worth will eventually dwindle to zero. That's a weird way to perceive life, but I enjoy the dwindling more than I do the building."Where's a DeLorean When We Need One?”

My friend's well-meaning critique revolved around the idea that, as a finance guy having proven to know how to invest very, very well (which I teach to thousands of people), I would be better served by simply investing this money for the long run, growing it exponentially, then giving it away decades later. This person didn't question my desire to give away everything, but rather, if I'm going to give it away, why not do it in a way that maximizes the dollars given?

I have a simple response to this. My objective isn't to maximize the amount of money I give away. Instead, my objective is to always give joyfully and sacrificially. My scorecard isn't money; my scorecard is my heart. The moment I decide I'm going to keep score by tracking how much money I can give away, even my giving becomes about ego, pride, and self-service.

The alternative, I'd argue, is to simply live with a posture of generosity. Yes, it will possibly result in a lower (or decreasing) net worth, but simultaneously, it will instill contentment, joy, meaning, impact, and sacrifice into our blood.

There are a lot of reasons to drag someone, but in my opinion, dragging people for being "too generous" is the best type of hate. Several of my clients get criticized for giving "too much," and I constantly tell them that form of cultural pushback should be internalized with joy. It's funny, though, as people don't necessarily know how much other people give. It's the posture of generosity that makes others uncomfortable. That posture can stick out like a sore thumb, and if someone is living a life counter to that belief system, it can get awkward.

As givers, we ought to check our hearts. The goal shouldn't be to maximize the amount given away. The goal shouldn't be to build more today so we can give more later. The goal shouldn't be to use a financial scorecard to judge ourselves. The goal should always be to give joyfully and sacrificially. Does it give you joy? Does it hurt? If the answer to both is yes, you're on the right track.

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Getting Back Into His Cage

Note: This is a sensitive story, but fortunately for countless readers, I've been granted permission to share it here.

A man asked to meet with me. Mid-40s. Married. Three children. Above-average household income. Average house. Pretty standard lifestyle: not too bougie, but also not perceived as frugal.

Here's the short version of the situation. He's beyond stressed. Finances are causing tremendous friction in his marriage. His wife wants to stay home with the kids, but they can't make it work. He's embarrassed. He feels like a failure. He's miserable. He hates his job. He wakes up each day dreading what's about to happen. He can't leave, though, as his current income exceeds other known options. His mental health is eroding quickly. Dark thoughts are starting to seep in. His breaking point might be approaching.

As our conversation progressed, I started asking him probing questions to identify the true stress points. For several minutes, nothing he said alarmed me.....all normal stuff. Then, we found it.

"Tell me about the vehicles. Do you have any vehicle debt?"

"My truck payment is around $1,300, and my wife's SUV is $800 per month."

There it is! $2,100 per month on vehicle payments alone. All of this pain, suffering, misery, and struggle, only to boil it down to a few key decisions. I challenged him on these decisions.

"Our vehicles aren't nearly as nice as some of our friends and family."

"I'm a truck guy. I can't help that I like nice trucks."

"I want my wife to be safe. We need something reliable."

I have a rhetorical question for you. Do you believe the three sentiments above merit wrecking one's entire life, marriage, financial structure, and mental health? The answer is a resounding NO!!! Of course it's not, but millions of Americans live in this reality daily.

Everything he and his wife have ever dreamed of lives on the other side of these vehicles. These vehicles are cages! They've been snared in the trap. They unknowingly locked themselves in a life they don't want to live. The cage might not have metal bars, but it might as well. I made my case for a different set of decisions, trying to illuminate what an alternate reality could look like: their dream life. However, it requires them to destroy the cages.

After the meeting, I walked outside with him, shook his hand, and watched him get back into his cage. I gotta admit, it was a pretty sweet truck. Clean, fresh wax, enormous in stature. But a cage, nonetheless.

We all have cages. It might not look like a truck, but it's something. My challenge to you today is to look at yourself in the mirror and identify your cage. Something that is (or could) hold you back from living the life you deserve to live. It's an uncomfortable exercise, and not always as obvious as it seems. I've had my share of cages over the years, and I suspect you do, too.

Smash the cage.

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Where’s a DeLorean When We Need One?

I taught three high school classes last week. My favorite part of any talk is always the Q&A at the end. As the frequency of questions started to diminish, I said, "We have time for a few more questions. C'mon, guys, give me something spicy. Spicy is good."

A young lady on my far left raised her hand. "What is your net worth?"

I said spicy....I didn't mean SPICY!!!! That one caught me off guard, as it's the first time I've ever been asked that publicly. I froze for a second. What do I say? What do I say? What do I say?

"Wow, that was spicy! I don't feel comfortable answering that." Then I moved on.

A missed opportunity! Of everything I experienced last week, that was my biggest regret. I beat myself up for hours! I had such a beautiful opportunity there, and I whiffed. I could have shared something profoundly important, but I didn't. I could nearly see Reggie Miller giving me the choke sign like I was Spike Lee at MSG (IYKYK!).

If I could step into my DeLorean and get a do-over, this is what I'd say:

I'm not going to share my net worth, and here's why. Sharing numbers like that one is the quickest way to spiral into the curse of comparison. Either my number is higher than yours, and you're jealous, or my number is lower than yours, and you judge me as less than. Either way, nothing good can come from it.

Net worth is a great way to keep score.....if we're basing our measuring stick on the world's way. Instead, I tend to measure success by how intentionally and meaningfully someone is living their life. Do they wake up every day excited for what's to come? Are they making a difference? Do they find meaning in their work? Do they lie their head on their pillow at night knowing they left it all on the field? Some of the most successful people I know have low net worths, and some of the biggest failures I know have huge net worths.

I do find value in net worth, but only through the lens of that particular individual. In fact, I make every client track their net worth each time we meet. NOT because that's the ultimate goal, but rather, because it's usually a solid barometer to understand if they are or are not achieving their desired goals. It's a tell; it's not the be-all end-all. If a couple is trying to get out of debt, there should be a natural increase in net worth over time as the debt is paid down. If someone is starting a business, there should be a natural increase in the value of that business as NOI improves. In other words, net worth makes a good comparison tool under the same roof, not under different roofs.

Lastly, and most importantly, net worth measurements have a negative correlation with the greatest use of money: generosity. A decade ago, Sarah and I made the decision to give away every single penny we have. Nothing is ours. Everything is to be shared. The natural outcome for this way of life is that our net worth will eventually dwindle to zero. That's a weird way to perceive life, but I enjoy the dwindling more than I do the building.

I'd do anything for a DeLorean right now! Have a great day, all!

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The Winding Road of Life

Seven years ago, I was sitting in an office building in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, pitching a real estate fund to a prospective investor. Yesterday, I gave a four-hour workshop on excellence to 25 Christian non-profits, recorded a podcast episode, counseled a couple in pain, and spent the rest of the day doing cattle ranch work. Life moves fast.

Someone recently asked how I got from there to here. Truthfully, I'm not sure. I used to believe that life would feel linear, a generally straight line from point A to point B. Then, I experienced life. It's hard to digest just how fast everything goes and how winding the road can be.

It would be so easy to say "no" to all the detours and side streets life has to offer. After all, those paths can be scary, sometimes risky. Prevailing wisdom says to keep our eyes straight ahead and remain on the interstate.

There's something beautiful about these winding roads, though. There's a richness. There's awe. There's meaning. It's not to say these roads are always easy (they aren't), but based on my 44 years of life, I'd argue they are worth it in so many ways.

My brain is fried after all I experienced yesterday, so I'm going to keep today's post short while I spend more time reflecting on what just happened. My hope for you is that you encounter some windy, scary, and interesting side streets. I pray that when you do, you have the courage and boldness to say "yes" to the alternate route. It likely won't always go smoothly, but I sincerely believe it will be worth it. Have an awesome day!

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Throwing In the Towel

I stopped to get gas for my car the other day. The fuel pump asked me to enter my rewards number.

I purchased a cartful of groceries. The cashier asked me if I had rewards.

I bought a Cruchwrap Supreme at Taco Bell. The kiosk asked me to check in with my rewards account.

I stopped at a local coffee shop. The barista asked me if I had a rewards punch card.

I'm tired, guys! I can't keep up with this. I want to keep up with it, but at the same time, I can't. It took nearly 45 years, but I decided yesterday to draw a line in the sand. Regardless of whatever rewards I could be earning, I need to completely turn my back on rewards programs. Ultimately, the upside doesn't even come close to the mental and emotional fatigue it costs to manage all of this.

Have you ever experienced retail rewards anxiety? You walk into a shop and either a) forget to scan your rewards, or b) can't get it to work. There's this weird anxiety-mixed-with-guilt-mixed-with-regret feeling that seeps in.

Starting today, I am experimenting with ZERO rewards. I'll buy what I buy, then I'll move on with life. Whatever I pay in lost rewards, I will surely make up for in saved stress, emotional energy, guilt, regret, and time managing it all.

Want to guess how many apps I just deleted off my phone that are correlated with rewards programs? Seven. Just in apps alone, I deleted seven different store-specific reward apps. No gas stations. No restaurants. No grocery stores. No anything!

I haven't even visited a store since I made this decision, and I already feel 25 pounds lighter. Reward programs are specifically engineered to lure us in, entice us, and modify our behaviors. I've always been leery of falling too deeply into them, but today, I'm fully throwing in the towel. I'm untethered from outside influences and shiny little carrots hanging above my head

Where do you stand on this subject? Are you an avid reward user? Do you turn your back on them? I'm curious to hear where this lands with people. I'm excited for this little experiment, and I'll be sure to report back soon.

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New Fear Unlocked

It's been a few months since I've been scared out of my mind. One would think I'm finally on the other side of crushing fear, but alas, here we are again. Tomorrow, I'll be leading a 4-hour workshop for 25+ Christian non-profit organizations; some of the most prominent, impactful organizations in my state. The topic of the workshop: The relentless pursuit of God-honoring excellence.

As I was telling Sarah about the workshop, she asked a very innocent question: "How much of those four hours will you be on stage? 30 minutes? An hour?"

"All 4 hours! It's literally just me!"

Her eyes got really, really big; I think she got scared for me! I don't blame her. This is far bigger than me. Heck, I should be in the audience learning from some of these organizations. I look up to many of these people and would be honored to sit in front of them for four hours to learn. Yet, here we are, in reversed roles, with them in the chairs and me on stage with a microphone. Yeah, you bet I'm terrified!

I'm about to reach the point where I wonder why I said "yes" to this. My life would be so much simpler, safer, and stress-free had I NOT signed up for this endeavor. I could have avoided the risk of utter failure. I could have eliminated the possibility of letting people down. I could have reduced the risk of a massive heart attack striking me at any moment.

There's a shadow side to that, though. Saying "no" would have removed any possibility I have of making a difference, moving the needle, or otherwise positively impacting people. Saying "no" would have been an intentional forfeiture of my opportunity and responsibility to use my skills, experience, and insights to serve others. Saying "no" would have debilitated my ability to gain experience and personally grow.

No, I'm not a fan of my heart possibly ripping through my chest, and I'd sure appreciate a full night's sleep (instead of restless hours and constant nightmares), but I couldn't be more grateful or excited for this opportunity.

Have you recently experienced self-inflicted terror? If so, congrats, as both you and the world are better for you having done that. If not, perhaps now is as good a time as any to say "yes" to something bigger than you. Unlock something totally new within you. Make an impact. Use whatever experience, talent, insight, and wisdom you have to offer the world. It might suck in the lead-up (and maybe even in the moment!), but you'll soon look back as one of the most wonderful decisions of your life.

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Watching and Walking

Finn and Pax had their first lacrosse game of the season yesterday. Pax was beyond excited. When I asked him where he fits within his new teammates, he declared that he's "probably the best." Interesting, but I was waiting to see for myself. When the game started, he looked anything but the best. He looked timid, scared. Often, he was watching the action from afar, walking up and down the field. Watching and walking. Needless to say, he really struggled.

After the first game, I attempted to talk to him about this. If he really wants to be a difference maker, he needs to put in the effort. Watching and walking won't cut it. If he truly desires to be a good player, he needs to get into the action and hustle. The second game was modestly better. While he still looked timid and somewhat scared, he seemed to have a bit more pep in his step. He got more aggressive, hustled more, and put himself into the action.

As I reflected on the day during our two-hour drive home, I couldn't help but think about how many people live their lives this way: watching and walking. Many folks fail to get into the action, and when they do, it resembles anything but hustling. They typically aren't doing this to be lazy, but rather feel kind of like Pax did yesterday: timid and scared. People sometimes don't know what to do to move themselves forward, so their natural response is to watch and walk.

I think the same advice I gave Pax applies to most situations. Even if we don't know exactly what we're doing, getting into the action and being aggressive is always a winning formula. Sometimes we just need to get into the flow to find our way. I stress this to clients all the time. We all have a choice to make, and not making a choice is still a choice. Standing still is a voluntary action.

Whenever I'm sizing someone up and trying to discern how well I think they will do, it's not about how smart, educated, or experienced they are. Instead, I look for the action. I looked for the aggression. I look for tells that they will get scrappy. Once I see those tell-tale symptoms, I know it's game over!

Don't watch. Don't walk. Even if you're timid or scared. Even if you don't necessarily know the answer. Even if you don't know the right answers. Sometimes, just getting into the game and being aggressive is enough to shake loose what ails you.

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Reboot

Two of my clients completely fell out of their budgeting rhythm. Month after month after month of successful budget execution and tracking, followed by complete failure. There are several reasons this can happen, but sometimes, life gets in the way, and the money stuff gets put on the back burner.

Here's what I recommend people NOT do: Try to catch up for the month(s) they missed. Trying to do so will most likely exacerbate the problem. Sometimes, people don't need a catch-up.....they need a reboot.

Here's what that looks like. Let the past be the past. Even if it means having blank months and unallocated transactions, just let it be. Don't try to rebuild last month, and don't even try to catch up on the current month, which is already halfway over. Instead, set your sights on the month to come. Recalibrate, negotiate what the future should look like, and get yourself ready for the new month. Then, once the first day of the next month strikes, execute well!

The idea of a reboot is so important. It requires us to give ourselves grace, forgive ourselves for the past, and focus 100% of our energy on the future. It's hard to drive forward when we're staring in the rearview mirror. Sometimes, a reset is just what the doctor ordered!

This applies to budgeting, for sure, but it also applies to so many other areas of money and life. We need to stop perpetually beating ourselves up for every mistake and failure, and instead give ourselves a reboot so we can practice excellence in the next season.

Sure, ideally, we wouldn't ever screw up or get behind. In a perfect world, we would continually stay on track forever. We don't live in a perfect world, though. We all live complicated, stressful, busy, and surprising lives. It's almost inevitable that life will kick back at times. When it does, practice the art of the reboot. I hope you find freedom in it. I hope you find relief in it. I hope you find a renewed energy in it.

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Of Course She Did!!!!!!!

I received the coolest e-mail from a blog reader yesterday! This is someone I've never met before, and it was the first time she's ever reached out to me. Her message referred to the "Of Course You Did" post that received unprecedented hate and criticism.

This woman said she felt convicted about the post, specifically noting one excerpt from the piece: "Generosity should have no limits. If I walk out of the grocery store with a bunch of food and encounter someone on the way to my car who needs it more than I do, I give it. Period. No questions asked. That's how life ought to be lived. No rules. No exceptions. No buts. No justifications. No excuses. Generosity always wins."

This woman said she always reads the blog in the morning and sometimes finds herself thinking about it as she goes abouther day. Well, on that particular day, she made a routine grocery run, approximately $250 worth of food. As she drove home (with her grocery haul in the trunk), she thought about that morning's post. That's when an idea struck her!

She turned her car around, and instead of driving home, she drove to a friend's house. One of her church friends is a single mom who recently got her hours cut at work. Resources were limited, and the stress was starting to rise. She unexpectedly pulled up to her friend's house, knocked on the door, and delivered her entire grocery haul to a shocked and grateful friend.

Of course she did!

Neither one of those women will ever forget about that moment. Multiple lives were probably changed that day. No, $250 worth of groceries won't singlehandedly change the world, but in a way, it can. Those little moments in time have a way of sticking with people, both receiver and giver. The ripple effects of this exchange might persist for years (or decades!).

We all have a role to play, and that role is to perpetuate a different kind of culture; a culture where everyone gives freely, joyfully, and sacrificially. No rules. No exceptions. No buts. No justifications. No excuses. Generosity always wins.

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The Most Naive and Irresponsible Person In the World

I can usually see the backlash coming, but not this time. After publishing my post titled "Of Course You Did," I was unexpectedly met with a wave of criticism and unsubscribes. To summarize all the terrible things I said, I was advocating that we should always carry ourselves with a posture of generosity. Every moment of life is an opportunity to be generous.

In addition to the most unsubscribes than I've ever experienced from a single day's post, I received three separate direct criticisms:

• I'm telling people to be financially irresponsible.

• I'm a "terrible husband and an equally terrible father."

• I'm "naive."

What does it tell us about our culture when my advocacy for open-handed generosity is met with "irresponsible," "naive," and concerns about my competency as a husband and father? People often ask why I spend so much time talking about generosity in my content. This is why. We have a loooooong way to go as a culture when it comes to how we perceive and handle our money (especially through the lens of generosity).

If the ideas I advocate for make me naive and irresponsible, I guess my new dream in life is to become the most naive and irresponsible person in the world! Further, I deeply desire for you to become one of the most naive and irresponsible people in the world, too!!! Together, through our shared naivety and irresponsibility, perhaps we can collectively bend the culture and help make our entire society more naive and irresponsible.

Would you like to join me? It's so easy! I'll give you a step-by-step instruction:

1. Find a way to be generous today, and actually follow through.

2. Repeat.

3. Keep repeating.

4. Watch it change people's lives.

5. Watch it change your own life.

6. Repeat until your last breath.

I hope you have an awesome, naive, and irresponsible day!

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Like a Little Kid

Like many little boys and girls, I was obsessed with space travel as a kid. I marveled at the stars, constantly curious about what was up there. I reveled in the stories of space shuttles, moon landings, and the vastness of a world apart from Earth.

Much time has passed since those days, and I'm not longer a little kid, but watching the recent Artemis II coverage has reignited that little kid inside me. I find myself again staring up at the sky, curious as ever. Every photo and video clip of the crew's current mission excites me in profound ways.

Last night, we did a family movie night: Apollo 13. My boys watched intently, stress oozing from their pores. Unlike many of us, they didn't actually know how the story ends. They engaged in the film with the same wonder, curiosity, and awe that I had when I was their age.

I couldn't help but think how absurd the mere idea of space travel is. It's as audacious an idea as a human can muster. Yet all it took was enough people crazy enough to believe it was possible......then having the courage to bring it to life.

That's how I feel about life. Are we crazy enough to dream the dreams of absurdity? Are we brave enough to take the appropriate steps to find out if it's possible? One of the main things that separates those who do and those who don't is the gearing to actually believe the absurd is possible. Then, the courage to put one foot in front of the other.

As I watch the coverage of this current space mission, I will undoubtedly continue to obsess about the idea that anything is truly possible. Are you crazy enough? Are you courageous enough? Only time will tell if I am, but staring up at that sky really makes me wonder.

Whatever adventures you're crazy enough to dream up, I hope you find it somewhere deep within your soul to bring it to life. Sure, you might crash and burn......but what if you don't?

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“Of Course You Did”

I recently got in trouble with Sarah. I made her a promise.....then I let her down. No, it wasn't some monumental, marriage-critical promise. She asked me to buy coffee beans. For years, we've had a running argument in our house. I would open an Amazon box to discover coffee beans. "Sarah, we literally own a coffee company!!!! We buy some of the best coffee in the world.....and we get an employee discount on it!!!" I even went so far as to tell her that I'll immediately throw away any random coffee she buys outside of our shop. Dramatic of me, I know.

Anyway, she's come around and now honors the fact that we should probably buy the beans from our own company. Props to her. It might have taken three years, but better late than never, I'm told.

In accordance with our new agreement, if she ever needs coffee beans, I'll make sure to pick them up when I'm at the shop. Recently, she made a request for coffee. We were almost out at home, and she needed me to bring her the goods.

I drove to the shop, purchased a bag of coffee, and sat down at a table to get some work done. Over the next hour, I ended up in conversation with a couple of young ladies who were visiting the shop for the first time. One of the women saw my bag of retail coffee and asked, "Is that any good? I've heard good things about that brand, but I've never tried it. I was thinking about buying some."

Toward the end of the conversation, I handed her my bag of coffee and told her to enjoy it. She was surprised....and grateful. It was a little weird to her that a total stranger would hand over something they'd just purchased for themselves, but I'm glad she went along with it.

Fast forward to me showing up at home, empty-handed. "Did you get coffee?" Sarah asked.

"I did!!!! But then I gave it to another woman."

"Of course you did."

That last "of course you did" made my day. It wasn't an "of course" that I'd gift something to another woman, but an acknowledgment that my randomly handing something to a stranger didn't even move the needle for her. She almost expects it. First, I love that she's learned to expect that from me, and second, I love that she's cool with it.

Generosity should have no limits. If I walk out of the grocery store with a bunch of food, and I encounter someone on the way to my car who needs it more than I do, I give it. Period. No questions asked. That's how life ought to be lived. No rules. No exceptions. No buts. No justifications. No excuses. Generosity always wins.

You might not be someone who would elicit an "of course you did" response from a loved one......yet. However, that identity can be right around the corner. Just keep saying "yes" to generosity and see what happens.

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If You Believe

Our family had a fantastic Easter yesterday. Nothing fancy. Church, lunch, road trip home. However, what that day signifies is far greater than whatever plans we executed. For us, as believers, that day means everything.

If you believe in the Easter story, it should change everything; and by everything, I mean everything! In my mind, there's no way to believe the Easter story without it revolutionizing the way we perceive and handle money.

As a person of faith, I so strongly believe in how the relationships with our faith, work, and money are deeply intertwined.Here's what that looks like through my eyes:

• Our work matters. Our work matters so much. Every time we go to work, it's an opportunity to serve others and be a living witness of the faith.

• Our money and stuff isn't actually ours. Rather, we're merely managers. If that's true, then there's no limit to the amount of generosity we should show to others.

• Our home isn't here on Earth. Instead of working to accumulate money, stuff, and status, we should be pursuing a different sort of prize. Or, as the Bible puts it, storing up treasures in Heaven vs. storing up treasures on Earth.

• We have a responsibility to be good stewards with the time, talent, and resources we've been blessed with. Not just what we give, but also with what we keep.

• The pursuit of excellence isn't optional; it's the standard. There should never be a reason not to chase excellence in all we do.

Happy Easter, everyone! I hope you had a great day, and I hope you have a great week.

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Unicorns Still Exist

One of the sneaky little benefits of writing a daily blog is the privilege of looking back at old writings. Every now and then, I'll take a peek at what I wrote on this day over the years. Today, I stumbled upon this little gem from this day, April 5th, 2024.

In some ways, the ideas I shared in this post two years ago are even more controversial now than ever. The sentiment in our prevailing culture is that we're all screwed, relegated to a life of mere tolerance at best, or misery at worst.

Today, just as much as ever, I'll die on the hill that not only is living a meaning over money life possible, but critical to our wellbeing. Sure, if we want to constantly pursue money, stuff, and status, we might find some of that. It's the American way, after all. There is no lack of people telling each of us to make that the focal point of our pursuits.

On the other hand, pursuing meaning is a continually difficult endeavor. It oftentimes requires us to make sacrifices and turn our backs on the cultural definitions of success. At the same time, we may find ourselves battling the societal pressures and expectations thrust upon us.

I believed those words two years ago when I wrote them, and I still believe them today. Pursuing meaning never gets easier, but it 100% gets progressively more fulfilling as the years pass and momentum builds. Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about, and some will hopefully find out soon.

The world tells you that you can't. I'm telling you that you can. Decide which one you believe, and act accordingly.

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Messy, But Good

One of my clients recently lamented how "terrible" their first two months of budgeting were. When I asked what made them so terrible, they said they barely got any categories right and, overall, missed the mark by almost $100. Therefore, in their minds, they failed.

Budgeting is messy! After all, life moves fast. We can have the greatest monthly budget in the world, but the moment a month begins, the world starts spinning. Despite best intentions, things rarely go as planned.

The truth is, even a well-executed budget can be messy. A win isn't defined as nailing every single category and finishing the month at exactly zero. Instead, the goal is to simply do the best we can, knowing we're going to whiff some categories, and get the bottom-line number reasonably close to zero. In my personal budget, I rarely get within $150 of our overall target budget. We regularly miss by hundreds of dollars on either side of the ledger. However, over the years, we have averaged finishing within a few dollars of our target. We care more about getting the long-term average right than obsessing over one specific number.

To give you a real-world example, I thought I'd show what my "successful" March budget looked like. In total, we finished $106 overbudget. Further, it's not as if we nailed every category and just whiffed on one or two; we missed all over the place. Here's what some of our misses looked like on a category-by-category basis:

• Home Maintenance: +$50

• Kids: -$73

• Medical: +$99

• Subscriptions: -$124

• Hosting: +$51

• Other Giving: -$103

We whiffed on six categories by more than $50 and missed our overall budget by more than $100, and that's considered a massive win! Even the best budget can be messy.

Moral of the story: Give yourself grace! If we constantly obsess about getting everything exactly right, we're going to feel like trash. We'll constantly believe we're failing, and after enough failures, we'll just give up. Instead, know that perfection isn't the definition of a win. Get as close as you can, know you'll miss on both sides of the ledger, and trust the process. Ultimately, if we do this, we'll find a healthy and sustainable balance between discipline and grace.

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Tank Filler

The last few days have felt like a mental and emotional beating. Nothing significant happened, but everything involved in my days fell on the difficult side of the ledger. My tank was running low. That's when I decided to do something that nobody should do on an empty tank: aimlessly scroll TikTok. However, what I stumbled into filled my tank to the brim.

I found a series of videos of a man who approached homeless people and asked if they would like to come over to his house for dinner. Over and over and over again, people were creeped out by this invitation. Some politely declined, while others reacted rudely. In each video, though, someone accepted the invitation.

It wasn't as simple and streamlined as dinner, though. The man behind the camera tried to meet people right where they were. One man expressed his embarrassment at only having the clothes on his back. Immediately, the generous man decided to swing by Target on the way to dinner so he could pick out some clothes: pants, shirt, shoes, socks, underwear.....an entire outfit. The homeless man was stunned.

As soon as they arrived at the stranger's house, he invited the man to enjoy a hot shower. Some time later, the homeless man stepped out of the bathroom looking clean and refreshed, with a giant smile on his face. Then, they shared a homemade meal together. Toward the end of the video, the homeless man said, "I've never had an experience like this before."

It was simple. It was unique. It was powerful. These videos moved me so deeply. It reminds me of the biblical principle that we're called to give from what we have, not from what we don't have. We all have something to give, and all it takes is keeping our eyes open and being willing to step in when the moment arises. Or, better yet, seek the moment.

Each of us has something to give, and in our own unique ways. We don't have to copy the generosity of others (such as the man in these videos). Rather, we need to find our own generosity journey. Who we serve and how we serve them is one of the greatest Rubik's Cubes of life. It might seem confounding at first, but after some intentionality and repetition, we discover another side of ourselves that we never knew existed. It's one of life's greatest opportunities, greatest responsibilities, and greatest joys.

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Anti Tipping Fatigue

Years ago, I realized I was living with a conflict of interest. On the one hand, I love dining out so much that I want to maximize the number of times I can do so each month. On the other hand, I like to be extraordinarily generous with my tipping. The tension between these two desires is that the larger I tip, the more I spend on dining out, the fewer times I get to dine out. See my dilemma?!?!

That's when I came up with a little hack I'm about to show you. If I give a normal-ish tip (call it 20%), that comes from our Dining Out category, as any normal restaurant meal would. However, if I decide to go big on my tip (for whatever reason), that tip comes from our Other Giving category. Now that I had a resolution for my constant conflict of interest, it unlocked a new gear in our giving rhythms.

Having this newfound outlet for giving opened so many doors for Sarah and I. We started keeping our eyes open for special opportunities to move the needle in someone's day/life. It gave us additional reps to exercise our giving muscles. It created powerful little moments to engage people in a direct and meaningful way. It forced us to keep giving at the forefront of our daily lives. In other words, this little hack to unlock more and better dining experiences surprisingly played a revolutionary role in building our heart for joyful, sacrificial generosity.

I couldn't recommend this enough. In a culture where people are experiencing tipping fatigue, push the pendulum all the way to the other side via outlandish giving through the lens of tipping. When most servers are expecting to be neglected, shine an even brighter light on their good work.

Wanna feel alive today? Go out to eat at a local restaurant. When you wrap up your meal and leave the tip, walk out of the restaurant (out of sight) and watch your server’s knees buckle as they discover what you just did. You don't need a thank you, acknowledgment, or a pat on the back. You just smile, get in your car, drive away, and know that you might have made a difference in that person's life today. If you ask me, there's nothing better we can spend our money on than that.

Wanna get on the other side of tipping fatigue? Use tipping to create impact on this world, one dining experience at a time.

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Lessons From the Non-Scam

I ate a massive slice of humble pie yesterday, and one of the perks of this blog is that I get to turn my horror stories into writing inspiration (and your entertainment).

While eating lunch yesterday, I received an image from an unknown phone number. No text, just an image. The image was a screenshot of a court date I've apparently been summoned to. Included in the screenshot were a time, a place, and an issue: next week, Chicago, delinquent tolls.

I don't know about you, but for the past 18 months, I've been inundated with scam calls, texts, and e-mails about tolls I allegedly owe. Tolls from states I've never even been to. Needless to say, I ignore every single one of these scammy messages.

Yesterday's random court date screenshot felt different. I wasn't about to scan the QR code in the image, so I found an Illinois DOT phone number to contact. I explained to the agent on the other end of the phone that I think this message is a scam, but I want to check to be sure. She asked for my license plate numbers.

There's a long silence on the other end. At first, I thought we got disconnected. Then, I realized she was processing what she saw and was figuring out how to communicate it to me. "You owe $1,255 in past due tolls."

Excuse me!?!?! After asking several questions, I learned that the original tolls totaled less than $100. However, after YEARS of fees and penalties, I now owe $1,255. Oh, here's the little cherry on top. Since the court date is already scheduled, they aren't willing to negotiate. I was dead in the water. All these years, while I was avoiding the scams, I was simultaneously ignoring real citations. Ouch, just ouch.

Is there a moral to the story? Perhaps the moral of the story is the immense weight I felt yesterday as I was dealing with this mess, and the instant relief I felt when I used the emergency fund to quickly pay for my stupidity. In another place and time, this weight could have sat on me for months.....or years. Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about.

This is one of the reasons why it's so important we get on the positive side of our finances. Money is never about money.....it's always about something bigger. And sometimes, "bigger" means not feeling like our chest is going to get crushed in from the weight of our burdens.

I'm grateful Sarah and I are in a place where we can address this mess without it blowing up our lives. The emergency fund is key. Margin is key. Having no debt is key. Being able to sacrifice is key. All this to say that while yesterday's slice of humble pie hurt, it was a mere bruise compared to what it could have been. Take stock of your financial house, and be prepared for whatever insane storms come your way.

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Under My Roof

Yesterday, I mentioned being in $236,000 of debt at one point. It was 2008, and I was 27, newly engaged. I had my entire life planned out, all the way down to how many children I would have.....and when. Yeah, talk about being young and naive! Everything was going swimmingly until I walked into work one day and was met by a stranger, a stranger who pulled me into a conference room where I found all of my co-workers. Over the next 30 minutes, we were informed that the company was being shut down and that everyone would soon be fired.

That day was the turning point of my life. That was the day I realized that my way of perceiving and handling money was going to painfully catch up with me, and I would soon lose autonomy over my own life decisions. I had $236,000 of debt that wanted to be paid, and the prospect of no income (worst job market of our generation) was a scary proposition for a young man just a few years into his young career.

Self-pity and victimhood were running at full speed in my mind! I had every excuse in the book why I was done dirty, and I was going to suffer the consequences of other people's decisions. That's when I had a wake-up call....a very harsh and humbling wake-up call.

Somewhere in there, I realized that the causes and solutions to all of my problems lived under my roof. I was the common denominator for my crappy situation, and whether I liked it or not, I was responsible for navigating my life to a better situation. Until that moment, I thought my fortune and failures rested in the hands of outside forces. In other words, personal responsibility played less of a role than luck. That wake-up call changed everything for me.

If my past decisions led me to a place where I had limited life options, then perhaps my current and future decisions could get me to a place with more life options. My new fiancé and I set a new plan for our lives, and that plan involved never repeating that debacle again. We committed to ourselves that we would forevermore perceive money differently and would never again allow finances to dictate our lives.

It took 4.5 years to work our way through the debt mess, but life was so beautiful on the other side. Turns out, my wake-up call was right. The cause of and solution to most of my life's problems lives under my roof.....and it stares at me in the mirror.

The same goes for you. The cause of and solution to your life's problems probably lives under your roof. That's never a fun thing to admit, but once we do, it has the power to change everything. We must own our past decisions and equally own the responsibility for working ourselves toward a new reality. Discipline, humility, and persistence are key. It's not always fun, but there's something so powerful knowing it lives under your roof.

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