Chess vs. Checkers

A friend recently saved up about $35,000 to purchase a vehicle. He knew what he wanted, educated himself, and walked into the dealership armed with the information to buy a slightly used vehicle. The plan was made, and now it was time to execute!

I called him a few days later. "How did it go?!?! Did you get what you wanted?"

"I ended up with an even better deal!"

Oh man, I was dying to hear more. I was proud of him for nailing this one. After all, he had worked so hard to save that cash. Then, he shared the story......

He walked in with a plan to pay $35,000 in cash for a 3-year-old model he had his eyes on, but walked out with a brand-new model with a $52,000 price tag. What?!?! Wait, where's the better deal? "They offered me 1.95% for a 72-month loan.....that's practically free money! I make much more than that on my high-yield savings, so I'm actually making money on the deal."

Here's how he framed it:

• If he had paid cash, it would have cost him $52,000.

• With a $765 loan payment for 72 months, it would cost him only $55,000 over 6 years. Just $3,000 more for the privilege of stringing it out for 6 years.

• Now, he can keep his $35,000 in his high-yield savings account. At 3.5% interest, he'll make $1,200 per year, or $8,600 over the next 6 years.

• $8,600 of interest earned minus $3,000 of interest paid = He's coming out +$5,600 on the deal. Boom!

He couldn't have been more excited. He felt like he just won the game. However, I don't think he's looking at this through the proper lens. He didn't come out $5,600 better on the deal. He walked in hoping to spend $35,000 on a vehicle and walked out committed to spending $55,000. That feels more like spending $20,000 MORE than planned.

Further, he now has to tell his wife that he just signed up for a $765/month vehicle payment just one year after promising each other they wouldn't go back to playing the debt game (after grinding their way out of the last one). As he put it, adding $765/month to the monthly budget won't be simple, "but the deal was too good to pass up."

He thought he won, but he was playing checkers while the dealership was playing chess. The salesperson knew which buttons to push, and thoroughly pushed them.

Here's the thing. My buddy is a smart dude. In fact, I'd dare call him brilliant in many ways. He has a truly gifted mind, and he's tremendously successful at his craft. However, he's also human. He's not immune to the psychological games being played on us on a daily basis.

It's so easy to get played. We think we're winning, but we're playing checkers while the person on the other end is busy playing chess. We need to be mindful. And in the world of personal finance, debt is often used as a creative tool for the chess player.

Stay vigilant, my friends! These are winnable battles, for sure, but we must keep our wits about us as we navigate this world of finance. One day, one decision at a time. You got this!

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Inheritance? What Inheritance?

I inadvertently opened a can of worms the other day when I said I don't think it's impossible to be too generous. I thought that post would stir up some dialogue, but instead of what I expected, it opened a different can of worms. I received six e-mails about the exact same thing....here's how one person succinctly (and bluntly) put it:

"What about your kids' inheritance? You think it's ok just to give away their inheritance?"

I love this, as it opens the door to have a very counter-cultural conversation. I don't personally believe in leaving financial inheritances. Practically speaking, here's what it means for me: No matter how much Sarah and I have when we die, almost all of it will be given away. Why? Why would we do that?

As a Christian, one of the core tenets of my faith is an understanding that everything I have belongs to God: money, possessions, skills, passions, etc. If that's true - if I sincerely believe that's true - why would I then turn around and give everything I have to my kids? To me, that would be hypocritical and self-serving. Therefore, as stewards of God's resources, anything we have left when we pass shall be given away.

Does this mean I'm just abandoning my children? Does that make me a bad parent? Does it show a lack of care for the next generation?

Here are a few implications of how I perceive this topic:

• The "inheritance" I leave them when I die, in part, will (hopefully) include the skills and care to be a good steward with the resources they are blessed to manage in their lives. I want to equip them to do well in this area of life.

• I hope to financially help my kids along their journey BEFORE I die. I want to help with college, weddings, and possibly other major milestones. I don't want to enable them, but rather encourage them.

• When we pass away, whatever financial resources we have left will be given to our family's generosity trust (which we currently use). I aspire for my children to manage it well and execute the plan after we pass away. I want to entrust them to oversee our last tangible impact here on earth, and I hope they receive this responsibility with gratitude and honor.

• More than anything, I hope Sarah and I can be living witnesses to these principles for our kids, and when they eventually grow older, they decide to replicate something similar with their children.

That, my friends, is true legacy. Legacy isn't a dollar amount, a bank balance, or some other form of "generational wealth." I want to build a legacy of generosity and selflessness that can span generations. That's my heart. That's my dream. So, no, I don't plan on giving my kids a financial inheritance. But I hope what I do give them is far more valuable.

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An Unplanned Social Experiment

Through my own failure, I accidentally ventured into an unexpected social experiment. As mentioned in a previous post, we recently took an unplanned 5-month hiatus from the Meaning Over Money Podcast (SPOTIFY / APPLE). I'm happy to report that we're back! Episode 441 was published this week, and I'm excited for what's in store.

Back to our little experiment. Since we haven't been publishing new episodes, there was nobody captaining the ship, so to speak. No new content. No marketing. No direct influences. However, our 440-episode catalog remained in cyberspace on all major podcasting platforms. In other words, we have an unobstructed, uninfluenced data set about what people were listening to over the past few months. And since we haven't even mentioned the podcast since March, all podcast activity is purely organic.

I pulled the data yesterday to see what episodes were most downloaded over the past 90 days, and the top 10 were far above the most popular pieces of published content we have. I'll share them in order below, but I think it gives a fairly accurate glimpse into what's on people's minds. A finger on the cultural pulse. Here they are, in order:

1. 362 - Cole and Travis Talk Life and Money: Lifting the Lid on What's Really Happening Under Roofs

2. 306 - Simple Steps to Set Up A Taxable Investment Account: It's Easier Than You Think!

3. 287 - Controlling Dining Out Without It Controlling You

4. 403 - Just Buy the Shoes: A Guilt-Free Blueprint to Overcome Financial Hoarding

5. 433 - More Is Never Enough: How the Curse of More Can (and Will) Hunt Us Down

6. 410 - Life Insurance 101: A Little Morbid But a Lot Important

7. 418 - How to Have a Midlife Crisis That's Not a Midlife Crisis

8. 270 - "I Regret Buying a House": What to Do When You Realize You Made the Wrong Decision

9. 234 - Stop Focusing On the HOW: Embracing the WHAT and WHY will direct our HOW

10. 241 - Congrats on NOT Getting the Job: Why Not All Promotions Are Good Promotions

As you can see from the episode numbers, this isn't the result of recency bias. In fact, two of the top 10 episodes were published more than three years ago. That leads me to believe people are searching for keywords related to these topics and stumbling into our content along the way.

As I scan this list of topics, it closely correlates with many of the conversations I’ve been having with families through my work. I can think of at least a handful of families when I see each of these topics, each trying to navigate this crazy journey between work, money, and meaning. Here’s my encouragement today. Whatever you’re dealing with, you’re not alone. Whatever struggles you’re battling, you’re not a failure. Whatever issues you’re trying to manage, it’s not just a “you” thing. This is all part of the human experience. Everyone is trying to navigate their own junk, despite how it might appear on their social media highlight reel. Keep moving forward, and don’t be scared to talk to others.

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Too Much Generosity?

"How much is too much?"

I received this question after a recent post about generosity. How much is too much generosity? Can one be too generous? People have even called my advice on generosity "reckless." Can generosity be reckless?

I don't think you can be too generous. Sure, basic needs must ultimately be paid, but beyond a simple roof over our heads, food on the table, and adequate clothing, everything else is excess. If we look at every expenditure in our financial lives with true honesty, I suspect 70%-80% of our spending is some combination of want and need-extended.

Therefore, back to the original question. How much is too much? I don't think there is such a thing as too much generosity. Generosity, as Jesus defines it, is both joyful and sacrificial. The mere fact that we're asking if it's too much is a good sign we've ventured into "sacrificial" territory. For me personally, when I start questioning my own sanity, that's typically when I realize we're being adequately sacrificial. Then, if we can bear it, we push a little harder. It's a slow and steady ratchet of discomfort, pushing the needle on "how far is too far?"

Instead of asking how much of our resources we should give, I suggest we flip the script and ask how much we should keep. The moment we start to make ourselves uncomfortable on this topic is the point when we unlock a new type of joy and meaning in our lives. Instead of feeling a void from not having the things we believed we wanted, we receive the profound joy of knowing someone gets what they needed. It's life-changing.

I understand this is a spicy take for the culture we're living in. I'm not even suggesting that everyone make a hard 180-degree turn today. Rather, I encourage you to noodle on this idea. Sit in it. Come back to it now and again. Then, take one step in the direction of sacrificial generosity. Not a leap. Not some monumental shift. Nothing drastic. A step; one tiny step. Then maybe another.

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Numbing the Pain Sensors

"How much should I spend on a car?" a friend asked me recently.

"How much cash do you have saved for a car?" I asked in return.

"About $18,000, give or take."

"Then I would spend $18,000 or less."

He stared at me for a moment, pondering what to say next. "But the car I want costs $35,000. How do I know if I can afford that?"

"It's pretty simple. You'd be able to afford it if you had $35,000 saved up. But since you only have $18,000, you definitely can't afford it."

He stared again. "What should I do, then?"

"Either buy a $18,000 vehicle now, or keep saving until you can afford a more expensive vehicle."

I think we complicate things too much, especially with vehicle decisions. Then, we add the psychological warfare of debt into the mix, and we get completely twisted up. That's where my friend went next.

"There's no scenario where I would spend $35,000 of cash on a vehicle. That's why I want to finance it."

See what's happening here? The debt pollutes our decision-making. He just admitted he would never exchange $35,000 of cash for a vehicle (because it's a lot!!!!), but he would mindlessly sign papers to finance $35,000, $45,000, or even $55,000. He said he'd have no problem financing a vehicle up to about $70,000, but wouldn't feel comfortable spending more than $20,000 of cash on a vehicle.

See the problem here? The debt numbs the emotional triggers that tell us something might be a questionable-to-poor decision. He would have an emotional breakdown paying $25,000 for a car, but he wouldn't flinch at spending $65,000 with debt. That's how we Americans have enslaved ourselves in crippling debt payments.

If we really want to make proper choices, we'd take debt out of the mix and look at everything through the lens of cash. Are we really willing to pay for something, or are we just trying to numb our pain sensors by slowly bleeding ourselves out over time?

Update: My buddy called me a few days later. After much consideration, he realized that he was, in fact, being heavily influenced by the debt. There's zero chance he would ever pay cash for an expensive vehicle, and the debt merely allowed him to "cheat the system," in his words. He said he'll likely save up for a few more months and pay cash for a vehicle in the mid-twenties range. I think that's a wise decision! His future self will thank him for that one.

Don't let debt numb you to the realities of your decisions. You'll think more clearly, make better decisions, and create far more freedom in your life. It's worth it.

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Ingratitude: Don’t Let It Poison You

I've developed a fun tradition over the years. I regularly stay at a handful of specific hotels while traveling for business. Every time I check out, I gift the hotel's morning staff a bottle of Northern Vessel CBL.

I'm proud of the product we've created, and I find it to be a fun little way to bless people who would never expect it. As time passed, the hotel staff started lighting up when they saw me, suspecting there might be a bottle of CBL to enjoy. They have always been grateful and gracious with me. It's been a true joy. Then, something happened......

One of my regular hotels experienced some staffing turnover. A few visits ago, I met a new woman at the desk during my check-out. When I gifted her a bottle, she simply said, "Okay, I'll put it in the fridge." No reaction, no thank you. Well, that's okay, I justified to myself. She doesn't know me or anything about NV. No big deal. On the following visit, the same woman was at the desk. As I checked out, I gave her a bottle. "Oh, it's you again. I'll put it in the back," she said with an emotionless face, then she just turned around and walked away.

Nothing snuffs out the joy of generosity like ingratitude. I was discouraged in the moment. However, that doesn't invalidate my gift. The recipient's reaction shouldn't be the ultimate measuring stick of our act. Rather, it's an output, a signal. The spirit behind the gift should always remain the key input.

Guess how many more times I'll drop a bottle of CBL at that hotel. Somewhere between zero and maybe I'll consider it. Feeling the cloud of ingratitude doesn't make me want to be less generous, but it does make me reconsider the targets of my generosity. Generosity should never be stifled, just redirected.

As such, I'll find new recipients for my giving. I'll seek to serve those who want to be served. I'll eagerly look for the grateful, while simultaneously avoiding those who exhibit ingratitude. That's not a punishment or vindictiveness. It's my attempt to be a good steward with what I've been blessed with.

Many of you have had your joy of generosity snuffed out by ingratitude. Maybe it was a friend. Maybe it was a family member. Maybe it was a stranger in need. Maybe it was your church. The pain of ingratitude can run deep.....and it can linger. There's no way around that, but it doesn't have to dampen our desire to be joyfully and sacrificially generous. Generosity always wins. Sometimes, though, we need to change it up. Keep giving. Always keep giving.

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Ignorance Is Not, In Fact, Bliss

In working with hundreds of families over the years, one thing is consistently true: We humans have a very poor ability to mentally track how much we spend on x category each month. Example: I recently asked a family how much they spend on dining out each month: "Probably $200, $300 tops."

"Well, we're about to find out," I responded. "Out of curiosity, why do you say $200-$300?"

"Because we kinda track it already. I just know what we spend."

"Kinda tracking is the same as not tracking at all," I said.

Fast forward to the end of the following month, and they had formally tracked all their spending: $913. More than triple their top-end estimate!

"That can't be!" the husband exclaimed. "I know what we spend, and we don't spend $900!"

He's not dumb. He's not a liar. He's not bad at math. He's not trying to pull my leg. This is how we humans mentally accrue math that spans several smaller numbers. We grossly miscalculate the cumulative impact of a string of decisions.

Ignorance isn't bliss. A rough understanding is the same as no understanding. We don't need to be number police and obsess about everything in our lives, but if we want to get better in a certain area, we need to educate ourselves. This is always priority #1 for my coaching clients. There are three steps to getting right with money:

1. Gain awareness

2. Gain control

3. Gain traction

We can't gain control or gain traction until we've first gained awareness. Here's the good news: Gaining awareness doesn't cost money, require special skills, or necessitate a large time commitment. All it requires of us is care and intentionality.

Here's my encouragement. If you're not fully locked into a budget yet, pick a category you want to improve on. For the next calendar month, log every dollar you spend on that category. Use the Notes app on your phone if you'd like. You don't even need to log it to the penny; round to the nearest dollar. Date: Amount. Date: Amount. Date: Amount.

If you commit to the practice for even just one month, you'll gain insights about yourself that will arm you to succeed next month, the month after, and so on. Simple, effective, game-changing. Note: this isn't about spending less; it's about spending better. After we assess what we're actually spending, we can determine if that's a good amount in the context of our lives. Maybe we should spend more! Maybe knowing how much we're spending can help us make better and healthier decisions in the other categories. Maybe we want to put some guardrails in place. So many opportunities for improvement, all stemming from becoming aware.

This isn't supposed to be some magical, earth-shattering idea. Rather, a simple idea that's easy to execute and will provide far more value than it will cost you. Happy tracking!

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Know Thyself

I'm a firm believer in having a brutally honest self-awareness of our own personal foibles, triggers, and weaknesses. For example, I know I can't gamble in any form. I dabbled in sports gambling when I was in college, and within just a few days, I realized it could easily get away from me. Thus, I haven't even considered gambling a single cent in approximately 25 years. I have a keen self-awareness of this nuance, and I act accordingly. I don't believe that makes me weak; rather, it makes me wise.

Some things in our lives are just unhealthy for us.....period. It doesn't mean those things are unhealthy in nature, but for whatever reason, they are unhealthy for us. Again, that doesn't make us weak; it makes us self-aware....and hopefully wise.

Here's another weakness of mine. This button right here:

This button lives on the summary page of every blog e-mail that gets sent into the world. For the last 1,400 days, this button has lived on my phone screen. And for the last 1,400 days, I know this button as the source of much heartache. With a simple click, I could unearth the names of those three people who no longer value this blog enough to receive it each day.

There's nothing like clicking on this button to realize one of the closest people in your life just went out of their way to terminate your work from entering their life. It sounds dramatic, I know! But for whatever reason, this one little button has the power to create unprecedented pain and suffering in my life.

Therefore, knowing this about myself, it's a button I'm unwilling to press. That doesn't make me weak; it makes me wise. For all I know, the three people who went out of their way to rid me of their digital life a few days ago could have been my wife, sister-in-law, and best friend. Who knows!?! Not me! I always know how many people receive and read my blog each day, but I couldn't tell you who they are. I allow that to remain a mystery to me (aside from the thoughtful e-mail replies I receive), and instead, simply focus on writing what I'm called to write.

Know thyself. There are things in your life that are unreasonably tempting, troubling, and risky for you. Things that might not be inherently bad or wrong, but bad or wrong for you. Have the self-awareness to recognize them and the humility to make the right decisions. Often, these little decisions free us up to live the life we're called to live. A life full of much more meaning and a lot less turmoil. Free yourself! Be wise! A few simple decisions could unlock the better you deserve.

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She Forgot the Drink, But…..

I recently received a phone call from a long-lost friend. Nothing dramatic; just a friend whom I lost contact with a decade ago after we stopped seeing each other on a day-to-day basis. The reason for the call? She recently checked out Northern Vessel for the first time and wanted to share her thoughts with me.

"Thanks so much for stopping in! That means a lot. What drink did you try?" I asked.

"I don't even remember what drink I had. All I can remember is how that place made me feel! It was a weird experience. Not weird in a bad way. Weird in the best way. I was just treated so well! Your team treated me like I was their family."

I will never get over hearing these stories. Our mission at Northern Vessel is to offer people world-class hospitality through coffee. Our team is amazing. They buy into the mission. Not only do they hold the standard, but in many ways, they keep raising it.

My friend's feedback reminds me of a saying that has stuck with me for years: "They might not remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel."

This woman called me to rave about our coffee shop, yet couldn't remember a thing about her drink. It was a feeling. It was an experience. It touched her. It moved her. That doesn't happen by accident. That happened because of how our team conducted themselves, truly saw her, showed intention, met her where she was at, and exhibited genuine hospitality.

This isn't about coffee; this is about life! Regardless of what work you're in, who you serve, or how you serve them, the "how you make them feel" part will be the lingering takeaway years after you're gone. That will be the lasting impression you leave on this culture. Anyone can offer good service and execute a task. However, the bigger question is whether we're willing to take it one step further and give people something to remember. They might not remember your proverbial drink, but they will most certainly remember how you made them feel.

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Not Weird At All

We're going to swing the pendulum back to the money side today, which was spurred by a series of conversations I had with friends over the past few days. Specifically, they asked me about the U.S. stock market. One friend pointed out that if the year ended today, the market would be up about 13% for the year. Their understanding is that the stock market is supposed to give us an 8%-10% annual return. Further, based on their recent memories, they can't recall in recent history when the market actually finished a year in the 8%-10% range.

"Isn't that weird?" he asked. He was right about the recent past. Here's what the total U.S. stock market has looked like over the past 10 years:

This decade-long span has provided annual returns ranging from -18% to +31%, with no single year falling in the 8%-10% range. It's safe to say that the stock market seems erratic.

This isn't a last-decade phenomenon. Over the past 156 years, only three single years have landed in the 8%-10% range: 1912, 1916, and 1993. The other 153 years fell outside of this range, often ridiculously so. However, when we step back and factor all the wild years into one cohesive data set, the U.S. stock market has averaged 9.25% over those 156 years.

In other words, getting less than 8%-10% in a single year isn't a bad thing. Losing money in a single year isn't a bad thing. Feeling pain in a single year isn't a bad thing. Rather, it's the admission price to earning that long-term 8%-10% we're striving for. We must take the terrible with the great if we want the good. That's the secret to investing.

How does this relate to meaning? In my coaching and teaching, I see far too many people sweating and stressing over this investing stuff, so much so that it hinders their ability to live joyful and meaningful lives. My challenge for people today is to simply let the market be the market (goods, bads, and everything in between) and pursue a meaningful life. Be patient, quit looking at your investment accounts, and don't let the news bum you out. In the short run, it might feel scary, but in the long run, we will prevail.

Have an awesome day!

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In Accordance With Our Abilities

Yesterday was a coaching-heavy day for me, having met with four different couples. They ranged in age from 22 to 47, in take-home income from $4,000/month to $32,000/month, in debt from hundreds of thousands to no debt at all, and in belief from atheists to devout Christians. I talked about similar topics with each of them, and my advice was similar. However, one thing differed from client to client: I challenged them in accordance with their abilities.

For one couple, I encouraged them to dig in to pay off $1,000 in September. For another, I encouraged them to pay off $10,000. Similar conversations, different challenges. See, the couple I challenged to pay off $1,000 of debt would have broken had I pushed them to pay off $10,000. They don't yet have the ability (discipline, habits, conviction, and income) to make this happen. On the flip side, I would have done a disservice to the couple I challenged to pay off $10,000 had I only pushed them to pay off $1,000. Their current abilities are far beyond paying down $1,000.

One of the biggest criticisms I get on the podcast and the blog is that my ideas are too big, too drastic, too unrealistic, and too countercultural. I don't wholeheartedly disagree.....for some. That's the challenge of creating content for a wide swath of people. Some days, readers and listeners might absorb the content and think to themselves, "Duh, Captain Obvious!" Other days, an idea I share might spark something powerful within them that can possibly change the trajectory of their journey.

I'm in the seed-planting business. I plant seeds. I plant seeds and hopefully earn the right to water them. Sometimes, the seeds might never germinate. Sometimes, the seeds might sprout, but eventually not take. Then, other times, the seeds grow into something truly beautiful. On rare and special occasions, I get to actually see those moments when the seeds sprout, blossom, and eventually grow into something amazing. I never take those moments for granted. But whether I see it or not, I'm still in the seed-planting business.

Each of us is called to engage in accordance with our abilities. Today, that might be small. It might not feel like a big deal. It might even feel meaningless. However, as we grow, become disciplined, and gain experience, our abilities can grow. Then, we can push ourselves even more, which in turn helps us grow more. And the cycle continues.

Please don't compare yourself with other people. The only thing you should compare is how well (or not) you are harnessing your current abilities. That's it. That's the secret. Just you, your abilities, and a desire to grow in them.

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What Would 17-Year-Old Me Think?

A friend recently asked me a profound question: If 17-year-old you could see what your life looks like right now, what would he think?

Ohhhhhhhh! That's a deep one, isn't it? I try to put myself in 17-year-old me's shoes. What would he think about 45-year-old me if he could get a little glimpse?

I've thought a lot about this question, but from two different angles. First, there's me as I stand today. Writing, podcasting, speaking, consulting, coaching, owning a coffee company. Lots of flexibility. Lots of responsibilities. Lots of ministry work. A heightened focus toward generosity. Would 17-year-old me love that? I don't know.

Then I think about the same question, but with 17-year-old me seeing 35-year-old me. I had a job with status, a much higher income, a significantly nicer house, a trajectory toward much wealth, first-class travel, 5-star hotels, and bouncing all over the Middle East for work. Would 17-year-old me love that? I have a feeling he would....very much so.

To a 17-year-old, comparing a 35-year-old and 45-year-old me might have been an unfair fight. I honestly think 17-year-old me would have been allured by the money, stuff, and status of 35-year-old me. There's a sexiness about it.

But if I could sit that young guy down and share heart-to-heart, man-to-man, I'd explain to him the power and beauty of aggressively pursuing meaning. I would show him how much more rewarding and fulfilling this life is. I'd admit to him that the money, stuff, and status are pretty fun, but ultimately, not the secret to happiness. I'd also admit this life is a much harder life than the alternative, but with discomfort comes meaning; with pain comes beauty. I so badly wish I could talk to that young man. If I had the chance, yeah, I do think he'd think 45-year-old me's life is pretty awesome.

What about you? What would 17-year-old you think about your life right now?

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Want Now vs. Want Most

My kids are afflicted with the same disease many of us suffer from: the instinct to choose what we want now over what we want most. I'll give you a recent example. There's something Pax really wants to buy. He talks about it all the time, and it would really mean something to him to get it. That's what he wants most.

Here's where the problem comes. A few nights ago, after helping me unload and organize our most recent Northern Vessel coffee shipment, he had $22 in his account. He's nearly halfway to his goal! Unfortunately, there are a few other smaller things he wants now, and said smaller things happen to cost around $20. Therefore, he was begging me to stop at the store so he could buy this thing he doesn't really care about... but it's within instant gratification's reach.

Over and over and over again, he sacrifices what he wants most for what he wants now. After explaining this concept to him, I strongly encouraged him to resist the urge to buy what he wants now, knowing he can buy what he wants most soon enough. He made the right choice for now, but his human desire for instant gratification will surely heat up again.

Does this sound familiar? We humans do it all the time! We so badly want to go on that trip, but it feels so far away and hard to attain. So instead of saving that cash and getting closer to making the trip happen, we blow it on dinner and drinks. We have our eye on a particular watch. It's not outlandishly expensive, but it will take some work to save up. However, we just want to scratch the itch of buying a watch, so we'll buy several cheaper watches that we probably won't wear or appreciate. These are two recent examples from the hundreds of versions of this I see play out in my coaching.

I'm certainly not immune to it, and I suspect you aren't, either. Write it down. What do you want most? Name it. What things do you want now? Write those down, too. Call them out. Now, look at the two lists and compare them. If it's true that what you want most is what you want most, act like it. Make decisions around it. Choose wisely. Each step of the way should revolve more around what we want most than what we want now. These could be more material things, but truthfully, they are often priceless, meaning-laden things in our lives that are far more valuable than money. Choose those. Always choose those.

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“It’s Not My Fault”

There's one phrase that's banned in our house: "It's not my fault." If this phrase is ever muttered, instant consequences. Swift and harsh consequences.

I firmly believe ownership is one of the most important characteristics we can possess. Conversely, a lack of ownership is one of the most toxic. I've watched the positive and negative consequences in my own life, and I see it daily in others. When we take ownership, we (eventually) win. When we don't, we lose.

It's so easy to blame someone else or something else for things not going our way. It's convenient when we blame external forces for our personal failings. We're the victim. It's outside of our control. We have a natural and easy culprit to point our fingers at, allowing ourselves to skate away guilt-free.

On the flip side, when we continually take ownership, we can't help but grow and yield better results. Yeah, my teammate made a crappy pass, but I should have caught it. Yeah, my intern gave me faulty data, but I should have confirmed it. Yeah, it was a freak accident that my iPad wouldn't turn on, but I should have had a backup outline for my talk in front of 2,000 people. Yeah, my car breaking down was an unforeseen expense, but I should have created more margin in my finances for such an event.

Each one of us will encounter dozens of things each day that aren't exactly our fault. What we do with those will determine our eventual fate. If we simply say "it's not my fault," that's the gateway to loserville. However, if we're willing to take ownership every step of the way, we'll win. It won't feel pretty, and we might end up with some egg on our face, but we can at least walk with dignity and eventually find success. This applies to finances, work, business, relationships, and pretty much every other area of life!

Let's remove "it's not my fault" from our vocabulary. It doesn't serve anyone well, especially us, when it leaves our mouths. Take ownership, eat it, absorb the loss, and go on to conquer.

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Injury Timeout

My apologies to the daily readers who expected an e-mail in their inbox at 6AM this morning. I had some fun topic ideas for today, but last night didn't go as expected. Our family was in the midst of a ridiculously fun experience (concert and fireworks on the lake) when I suffered a freak accident. I sustained a scary (but hopefully not serious) head injury. Fortunately, it was toward the end of the night. Unfortunately, everything after that is a blur. Needless to say, I simply didn't have the capacity to formulate my thoughts and produce an article.

Every experience in life is worthy of learning, though, right? Every interaction, circumstance, and experience is potential content for learning, growth, and, of course, writing. So, what does any of this have to do with anything?

I think life is just so dang delicate. One minute we can be having the most beautiful time with our loved ones, and the next, we're in the midst of a scary situation. Just like that. A snap of the fingers. One second fine, the next, anything but fine.

This will resonate with many, as our lives are filled with these moments where everything changes. A diagnosis. A text message. A boom. A dreaded phone call. News we never saw coming. We're in the midst of a normal, mundane day, then mere seconds later, we're living a nightmare.

That's what came to mind as I've been trying to rally from last night's scary accident. Don't take anything for granted. Be grateful for all of it. Embrace the moment. It's all special, and it's all fragile.

See you tomorrow with some new ideas! I have a lot of fun stuff in store.

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Full-Circle Dinners

I began doing financial coaching about 10 years ago, starting as a personal ministry. I knew I could help people, and I knew people needed help, so I used whatever giftings God gave me to serve people in that area of life.

During one of my first coaching sessions, I told the couple that when they got out of debt, we would go out for a celebratory dinner at any restaurant in the metro they wanted, my treat. I thought it was a great little impulsive idea, so I repeated the same line to every couple I coached. These couples had tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars of consumer debt. Student loans, car loans, credit cards, medical debt….so much debt! Over the years, I've had dozens of debt-free dinners, my treat. We've done fancy steakhouses, old-school Italian, swanky French, and countless others. Those dinners are so much fun, and they're a great way to memorialize the hard counter-cultural work people have done on this financial journey. Dozens of times, I've been able to raise a glass and toast these couples' beautiful achievements.

During one of those earliest coaching meetings, I also said something else, tongue-in-cheek. The debt-free dinner is at any restaurant they choose, my treat. Then, someday, when they become millionaires, we'll go to any restaurant I want, their treat. It was more of a half-joke than anything; my attempt to bring humor and optimism to the otherwise heavy conversation. Think of it as a seed planted. After all, these were often couples buried in debt, struggling with finances, and feeling the tension in their marriage because of it. The mere idea of becoming millionaires felt far-fetched......but what if? I don’t actually think reaching this arbitrary status is some important endeavor, but it grounds people in optimism. What if?

Years later, I'm starting to receive phone calls from current and former clients:

"It's time to schedule our millionaire dinner. Where are we going, Travis?"

"Travis, what's your favorite restaurant? It's almost time for our million-dollar dinner?"

Or this text I recently received: "I'm not sure how it happened, but we did it! This doesn't even feel real, but it looks like we owe you a fancy dinner."

Progress often feels slow in the moment. However, after a while, we'll have that little moment where we look down the mountain from which we climbed, only to realize that we've made far more progress than we ever thought possible.

Step by step, day by day, decision by decision, sacrifice by sacrifice. Nothing is easy, but it can be simple. The key is stepping back far enough to recognize that small steps (eventually) yield profound progress. These full-circle dinners are a beautiful reminder of that for me. What once was full of pain, tension, and suffering can slowly blossom into something that never seemed fathomable. We ought not forget that, especially on the hard days when success feels anything but possible.

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The Mic Is Hot

I never really thought about this as a gift, but after countless conversations with various people in my life, I've come to understand that it is, indeed, weird. Whenever I record the Meaning Over Money Podcast (SPOTIFY / APPLE), I don't have a script. I don't use notes. I don't have an outline. There are no edits. I turn the mic on, discuss the topic on my mind, and turn the mic off about 12-15 minutes later. Then, Cole slaps on our intro and cleans up the audio quality. He doesn't splice, cut, or edit my words in any way. One take, done. We've done that twice per week for nearly five years.....approximately 440 episodes.

I never really thought of that as a gift, but it turns out it's a skill most people don’t possess. Then, something happened. After my Black Friday neck injury and subsequent cognitive issues, I lost this gift. I could no longer turn the mic on and cook. It was gone! Slowly, over time, I regained most of my pre-injury capacities and abilities—all except for my gift for turning the mic on and recording my podcast. For much of early 2026, I rode the struggle bus. It was difficult to record. Difficult to string my ideas together. Difficult to produce something impactful, engaging, and meaningful. Our last episode was published in March; crickets since then.

The mic is hot again! After eight months of struggles, I'm finally able to turn that mic on and live my best life. I recorded three episodes last week, and I couldn't have been more excited about it. They felt natural. They felt good. They were even a bit spicy. We will start regularly releasing episodes in the next few weeks.

It's so easy to take our gifts for granted. I recorded more than 400 podcast episodes without realizing how second nature it had become. Then, in a moment's notice, I lost that gift. I mourned the loss of that gift, but more profoundly, I beat myself up for not appreciating the gift in the first place.

All of us have gifts. They don't always feel like gifts, but they are! It's our job to recognize them, embrace them, and harness them for good. Find yours, embrace them, and use them to make a mark in this world. I'm excited the mic is hot again, and I hope you're excited to use your gifts as well.

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An Experiment In Leisure

I often write about my qualms with our cultural obsession with retirement. Specifically, our collective pursuit of a life of leisure. In theory, this is the secret to happiness and satiation, but in reality, it's just empty calories. Instead, what we should all be pursuing is a life filled with meaning. No, leisure isn't a bad thing, and we should all find ways to enjoy leisure along the journey. However, leisure for leisure's sake is ultimately an unsatiating endeavor.

This brings me to an experiment I recently conducted. In May, I decided to carve out a little extra time for leisure this summer. A few more trips, a few more low-key days. I didn't plan these trips and events methodically, but rather, slotted them in wherever they fit. The accidental consequence was a three-week stretch that included the following:

• 5 days in NYC with the family.

• A few days at home.

• A 3-day conference in Chicago to learn, grow, and enjoy.

• A few days at home.

• 8 days on the lake with the family.

I'm currently in the middle of my lake time with the family. We've had a great time together. Heck, I enjoyed NYC and the conference as well. It's all been wonderful. Just one problem: It's too much leisure! I can't even explain how much I miss my normal rhythm of work, productivity, and impact. I'm ready to get back into the grind.

Leisure is amazing, but just like chocolate chip cookies, Old Fashioneds, and the free breadsticks served at Fazoli's, too much of a good thing isn't a good thing. Leisure has its place, and that's properly sandwiched between good work.

These last three weeks have proven to me once again that traditional retirement is not the ticket to happiness. Leisure, without having something to leisure from, just doesn't hit as hard. As many of my friends and I have gotten older, I've explored this topic with many people. What should "retirement" look like? For me, it will likely take the form of full-time work, but with more trips. Maybe three weeks on, one week off. Or six weeks on, two weeks off. Maybe it will be one full-time job. Maybe it will be a series of smaller, part-time jobs. Maybe it will be running my companies. Maybe it will be doing consulting work, speaking, and/or writing. Maybe it will be volunteering.

I have no idea what that Travis will have in store for him. But one thing I do know is that leisure for leisure's sake is not in the cards. Leisure, yes. But leisure sandwiched between good work. That's the ticket.

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Anchoring

Why do you spend $x on a certain category each month? The answer probably isn't too deep, and it likely has something to do with the fact that's what you always spend on said category each month. But why? Because that's the way you've always done it.....or at least that's the way you've done it long enough for it to be ultra-normalized.

Now, maybe that's how much you should spend on that category. Maybe it's the perfect number, but probably not. It's probably not even close to the right number. However, we choose that number because we're anchored by the past. We're so accustomed to spending that amount of money each month that we don't even question what it should be. Should it be more? Should it be less? We haven't even considered it!

Once in a while, I'll ask a client who is fully locked into their finances to complete a fun exercise. Instead of basing their next month's budget off what they've done in the past, I'll give them a blank budget with all their utilized categories, and force them to build it from scratch.

You might think they would largely end up in the same place as what they already do every month. You'd be wrong! Most times, this exercise yields completely different results. It's amazing what happens when we remove the anchors from our decisions, and instead, assess each category as it actually lives in our lives. There's a purity in this exercise. It allows us to remove the fog of complacency, the bias toward past realities, and the frictionless non-decision of maintaining the status quo.

I actually think Sarah and I are in need of this exercise soon. Our monthly budgets haven't changed much in the past 18 months, and I don't think that's a good thing. Instead of anchoring ourselves in "normal," we should look at each category through the lens of our current reality. I have a feeling many changes will be made. I encourage you to try this exercise, too!

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81 Years of “Boring”

My family enjoyed a Shelton family tradition last night: Nutty Bars in Okoboji. Okoboji is one of our favorite places in the world, and Nutty Bars are woven into the fabric of the Okoboji experience. To give you some context, Nutty Bars are small blocks of vanilla Blue Bunny ice cream with a wooden stick inserted, dunked in chocolate, and rolled in crushed peanuts. Simple, classic, delicious.

Finn’s very first bite of Nutty Bar, age 3.

I was recently talking to a fellow business owner about our anticipation of enjoying some Nutty Bars. “Their business is boring. They’ve literally been doing the same thing for 100 years. They haven’t innovated once.” He scoffed at the Nutty Bar stand……he might as well have insulted my sons!

81 years, actually. They’ve been doing the same thing for 81 years….since 1945. In a world where businesses come and go as often as we change underwear, 81 years is pretty amazing. And they don’t seem to be slowing down. Every time I’m there, hundreds of people are coming or going. I wish I knew more about their business, but they no doubt sell thousands of Nutty Bars each day.

The Nutty Bar stand practices something vitally important in business. They simply offer a consistently excellent product for an attractive price. Simple, consistent, excellent, and more valuable than it costs…..all four components are important. They’ve created a machine that puts smiles on hundreds of thousands of people’s faces, and I suspect they’ve been handsomely rewarded financially for that.

We don’t have to come up with a world-changing idea to be successful or impactful. Instead, we just need to find a way to implement the Nutty Bar formula in our own lives. Stay simple, be excellent, remain consistent, and add more value than we charge. Whether we’re business owners, self-employed, or employees, these values are the building blocks for a fruitful and impactful journey.

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