Extravagant With a Capital "E"

One of the (very few) perks to being completely debilitated is having the time to scroll and read. Bad news: My short-term memory has been very poor, and I don't retain much of what's happening around me. Good news: I sometimes have the wherewithal in the moment to text message myself good ideas.

Today's post is one such good idea. I stumbled upon a fun little video that perfectly exemplifies one of my favorite concepts. When it comes to giving, it's not enough to give just enough. When done with the right heart and for the right reasons, giving should be extravagant. It should be sacrificial. It should create a moment. The following video clip is just that:

@globalmindapparel ♬ original sound - Global Mind Apparel

I know many of you won't watch this video, so please allow me to describe. A little boy and his father walk into a shoe store. The boy is in the middle of basketball season and needs a new pair of shoes. His dad said he could buy anything that costs less than $75. Shoe after shoe after shoe disappoints him, as he can't find anything for less than $75.

Disappointed, he starts walking toward the exit. This is where the story picks up. A young lady notices what's happening and decides to catch him as he's leaving. After hearing his story, she tells the boy that he can pick out any shoe in the store and she'll buy it for him.

After looking around, the boy picks up a $175 pair of LeBron's. The dad hesitated, citing the high price. The young lady insisted, stating:

• She knows what it's like to not have enough.

• There's no point in having money if you can't bless others.

• Why should she be in this store to buy her 10th pair of shoes when there's someone who can't even afford their first pair?

This young lady could have taken the gift in a few different directions. She could have said she'd make up the difference between the actual cost and the $75 budget that the dad could afford. Or she could have offered to buy a more reasonably priced pair of shoes. Instead, she decided to be extravagant in her generosity. Any pair he wanted.....period.

She created a moment. It's these types of stories that can change both parties. For her, that act of joyful and extravagant giving may have unlocked something in her. Perhaps that was the catalyst that sent her down a journey of generosity. For that boy, who knows what seed she just planted in him. Maybe 25 years from now, he'll be a multi-millionaire spreading generosity all around him, citing the impact a young woman once had on his life when he was just a boy. Every gift, even a $175 pair of shoes, has the potential to change someone's world.

I encourage you to look for moments like this. Extravagant moments. Special moments. Generosity that will move the needle in someone's journey. If even a pair of shoes can create that, just imagine how much possibility is on the table!

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Life Happens

Wanna know how often a typical family's monthly budget goes exactly as planned? Maybe 10% of the time if I'm being honest. This is a conversation I frequently have with clients as they begin their budgeting journey. There's usually this moment within the first few months of the process where my client feels defeated; a failure of sorts. In their mind, a budgeting win means that every category gets nailed right on the head.

Life doesn't happen on paper, unfortunately. It's messy. It's sudden. It's imperfect. We can have the world's best budget to start the month, but life has other plans. Success doesn't mean nailing the budget just as we've outlined it. Rather, success is our ability to track, be aware of our changing reality it in real-time, and make the necessary adjustments along the way to account for life happening in hopes of landing on even footing by the time the month concludes.

This month is a great example for my household. Due to my back injury, we're going to face significantly more out-of-pocket medical expenses than planned. Given the stress we've been under, we'll likely also blow past our planned dining out budget. Now, we can't just throw our arms up in the air and play the victim card; nobody wins under that scenario. Instead, we must take accountability for the life that's happening, first by being fully aware of its impact, and second by making the necessary adjustments.

What this looks like for Sarah and me is a combination of things:

• A reallocation of the dollars we had already planned to spend. Some of our discretionary spending will be reallocated to the increased categories. We may also temporarily reduce the recurring savings we push toward a few of our sinking funds.

• An additional allocation of funds from emergency savings. We don't typically touch our emergency fund (that's why it's called an emergency fund), but that's what it's for. It exists for exactly this purpose.

• A deferral of a few other priorities. There are some decently important obligations in our lives, but for at least this month, those priorities must move down the list.

These newfound expenses don't deem December a failed month for us, but how we respond will. It's not ideal, and it's tremendously frustrating, but that's life. Life happens. Life always happens. It's just our job to adapt along the way.

Whether you're having the world's best budgeting month, or the worst, success or failure isn't determined until you decide how to handle it. It'll never be perfect, but you don't have to give up control.

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The End Game

I've had a lot of time to stew in my own thoughts these last several days as I lie in bed. Last night, while trying to get my back muscles to calm down, I had a flashback to a conversation I had with a buddy a few weeks ago. This is a former colleague who is fully bought into the keeping up with the Joneses lifestyle. He's running the materialism race, and he's running hard! Money, stuff, and status are the three measuring sticks in his game.

Here's where our conversation took an interesting turn. "What's your end game?" he asked. "At some point, you have to have a plan to monetize all this to build wealth." It's interesting that, in his mind, building wealth is (or should be) the default end game. "Maybe I'll make a billion dollars, or maybe I won't make two cents. That's not how I judge success."

He asked it again, "What's your end game, then?"

The truth is, I don't think I have an end game. It's not because I don't think about the future; I do that often! Instead, I don't usually consider the "end" game, as I'm too obsessed about the journey. I just want to make as much impact on people as I can. Then, tomorrow, I hope to do the same. There's no real end to that endeavor. It's just a fresh mission each day.

If we look at our daily calendar, that's really all there is: a series of opportunities to make an impact. Meetings, projects, social engagements, family events. Everyone has their own version of this, but the opportunity persists nonetheless. I so much enjoy my specific opportunities, and I hope you do, too!

I'm not sure anything I just wrote made sense, but that's the best way I can frame it as I try to fight through the discomfort in my neck. It's been killing me that my recent condition has hindered my ability to make an impact, but I'll try again today.

As for you, I hope you embrace some form of this concept today: Make an impact. Someone. Somehow. Some way. There's no end game in that mission other than to leave it better than you found it. Then, tomorrow, we'll try again.

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Coffee, Milk, Sugar, and ___

My apologies for not responding to the flood of messages I've received from this week's posts. It's been challenging to reply in my current physical condition, but I'm grateful for all the comments and insights, and I look forward to going through them soon!!

I received an interesting text on the heels of my recent post about how we need to think about impact, not inputs. In the post, I discussed my chiropractor through two different lenses. On one hand, his $50 fee for a 7-minute adjustment means I'm paying him $240/hour for his time. I think that's a lame way to look at life. On the other hand, you could view the $50 as an investment toward having a functional body to increase your quality of life. Impact, not inputs.

Here's the text message I received after publishing that article: "That thought process may work for some things, but not most. At the end of the day a coffee is a coffee. There's no way to spin that one. You're buying a commodity, simple as that."

Ouch! Is that true? Is a coffee a coffee? TJ, my Northern Vessel co-owner, and I talk about this often! Here's how we think about it. We're not actually a coffee company. We're a hospitality company that happens to serve coffee. Hospitality is the core of what we do. It's our blank canvas. And the coffee is our paint.

If we're really going to boil this down, a typical coffee drink is just some ratio of three inputs: coffee, milk, and sugar. Three commodities blended into a finished commodity-ish product. There are hundreds of places to get a latte in every city, never mind the cheaper and more convenient coffee alternatives we have in our own homes. If what my friend is saying is true, why would people tirelessly wait in a line 30 people deep at a shop that arguably has the highest prices in the state?

Let's just pretend we have the best drinks in the city. Even then, the high prices combined with the massive lines would surely dampen our customer flow if people were simply there to buy a coffee, a commodity.

Which brings us back to my original thesis. We're not a coffee company. We're a hospitality company that sells coffee. What we sell is an experience, a feeling, a community. We want to offer people an experience that could be the highlight of their day. We hope the coffee is amazing, too, but it goes so much deeper than that.

We received this comment on an Instagram post yesterday:

"The coffee is amazing but I would stop here even if it wasn't because of how I feel when I walk in and how I feel when I leave." I don't know this woman, but her beautiful sentence stabs me right in the heart and synthesizes thousands of hours of work we've put into this. I'm so touched by her words, and I'm grateful she gave our team an opportunity to brighten her day.

Every single product or service we buy or sell, WITHOUT EXCEPTION, must be viewed through the lens of impact, not inputs. It goes so much deeper, and that depth is what turns business from something seemingly boring and sterile to life-giving beauty.

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When the Brain Isn't Braining

My neck and back injury has only gotten worse as the week progressed, reaching a point yesterday where it started impacting my cognitive ability. My brain doesn't seem to be braining right now. It's a surreal experience to be aware, in the moment, that the brain isn't firing on all cylinders. The amount of pain and discomfort I have in my neck is overwhelming my system.

It's wild how much we take for granted the "normal" in our lives. Normal gets a bad wrap because normal can feel boring. However, boring is good. I so badly wish I could have "normal" right now. I wish I could just be me, just living my life. I would give literally anything to be normal again.

All around me, I'm watching folks experience the loss of normal: layoffs, terminal illness diagnoses, loss of family members, and other painful moments. If you're living your normal life today, big props to you. Please don't overlook that or take it for granted. Your normal, despite its challenges and shortcomings, is still awesome.

I pray for normal in my life. I pray to feel better. I pray to be up and about. I pray for my brain to start braining. This isn't a sob story, or a call for pity. Rather, it's an opportunity to shine the light on how we shouldn't take normal for granted. We shouldn't wish it away. We shouldn't demean it in comparison to someone else's.

I hope to write to you tomorrow with a fresher head and more complete thoughts, but for today, this is probably the best I got. I hope you have a great (and normal!!!!) day.

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Memories Don’t Discriminate

Earlier this week, Sarah and I took the boys to see Elf in the movie theater. It was one of those cool theaters where they serve you dinner during the movie. The real magic happened the night before, though, when we shared the news of this upcoming family outing. Both boys immediately screamed in excitement and jumped wildly around the kitchen. Blood-curdling screams of euphoria. Eardrum-piercing screams of joy. To go watch a 20+ year-old movie they've seen a dozen times.

Memories don't discriminate. Those boys reacted as if we were surprising them with a trip to Disney, except our surprise cost $80, not $8,000. I know I beat on this drum often, but I don't think there are enough reps to appropriately make this point. Memories are memories because they are memories. We need not spend tons of money to create them. Financial resources are NOT the prerequisite to memories. Memories don't discriminate.

We're living in a time where more and more people feel frustrated and defeated. Families are struggling financially. The tension is tightly wound. It can sometimes feel like it's all too much.

I hate that for everyone living in that reality. At the same time, however, I want to encourage parents to create memories regardless of financial resources. Sure, expensive memories are expensive, but affordable memories are affordable. At the end of the day, however, memories don't discriminate. Years down the road, your kids won't remember how much (or how little) a memory cost their parents. All they will know is how the memory made them feel.

As such, create, create, create. Use whatever creativity and resources you do have to create the coolest memories possible for your family. Don't give up or feel defeated. Drive around and look at Christmas lights. Go get hot chocolates and watch the carolers. Open Netflix and snuggle up to a holiday classic on the couch. Make tree ornaments or gingerbread houses. Volunteer together at a local shelter or food pantry. Find a big hill to sled. Just make memories! Memories don't discriminate.

Regardless of where you stand financially this season, you have an opportunity to make this the best Christmas season ever, abounding in memories and experiences. Make it happen, and enjoy the ride!

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Forced Simplicity: Flood Edition

In the midst of trying to regain normal functionality in my neck and back, our family was hit with a devastating event yesterday. While the kids were getting ready for school, I ran down to my home office to address a quick client issue. As I walked down the stairs, I was met with a flooded basement. Wow. Just wow.

Over the next 30 minutes, Sarah, the boys, and I frantically moved every item out of the impacted rooms. Let's just say it was a disaster! Some of the items were in tubs, but not all. A LOT of things were completely soaked.

Yeah, the entire thing is absolutely gutting. It's miserable to say the least. However, Sarah and I are trying to find the silver lining in a terrible situation. Remember how I recently wrote about my newfound interest in minimalism and the pursuit of simplicity? Well, this brutal flood experience is forcing us to simplify.

Whether we like it or not, we are now forced to purge stuff as a result of the water damage. Sarah spent the better part of the day going through all the boxes and tubs that were exposed to the water. It was ultimately a beautiful exercise. Lots of stuff got tossed, even more will be donated to other kids/families, and some we'll keep. Fast forward to next week, and our lives will inevitably be simpler.

While Sarah and I were lamenting the horror of the entire situation, we both acknowledged that the basement will never be the same after this.....and that's a great thing. Simplicity, even when forced, can be a great thing.

I can't say I appreciate all this happening to us, but as I always try to remember, blessings come from even the worst of situations. I've already begun the process of simplifying my life, and now, Sarah just might buy into it as well. It's going to be a long process to get back to normal, but I fully believe we'll be better for it.

While I don't wish any bad upon you, when (not if) it strikes your household, I pray you find (and embrace) the silver lining in it. We can't avoid pain altogether, but we can commit to using a piece of it for good.

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How Much Is a Crack Worth?

My neck is starting to get better, thanks to my chiropractor. I'm finally able to turn my head to the side (though with much pain). A conversation I had with a friend sparked today's post. Here's what he said: "I can't believe you'd pay a chiropractor 50 bucks for something he can do in 5 minutes. What a rip-off!!!"

That's an interesting perspective. What is a chiropractor worth? My treatment did cost $50, and he did, in fact, only take 7 minutes to perform the adjustment. That means I effectively paid him $430/hour for his time. Is a chiropractor $430/hour?

Trick question; it's irrelevant. I don't pay a chiropractor for his time; I pay him for the impact he has on my life. I don't care if it took him 7 minutes or 70 minutes; I walked out of his office with more function and comfort than when I walked in. So yes, it's 100% worth $50 to me!

This is the problem with so much of how we look at business and culture. We try to judge everything and everyone by the lowest common denominator. How long did it take them? How much did the inputs cost? What are the business's overhead costs? What's the embedded profit per item, and in my skewed opinion, is it reasonable? How many years of education/training did it take for them to perfect their craft? It's all rubbish. None of it means anything.

Once in a blue moon, a prospective client will ask me to break down the number of hours I plan to spend on them to justify the price of my coaching package. In that moment, I immediately know they aren't the right client for me. I'm selling them life change, not my time. The moment they try to boil it down to my time on a per hour basis, I know it's not a good fit.

You probably live on both sides of this. As a consumer, you make hundreds of purchase decisions every week. Instead of trying to boil something down to its lowest common denominator, simply ask yourself if the outcome of purchasing this product is worth the price. It's that simple. In my case, it's not asking if paying my chiropractor $430/hour is a reasonable price, but rather, if $50 is worth my ability to function in life. Yes, please take my money, Mr. Chiropractor!!!!!

You also live on the side of the seller. Everyone is selling something. Whether you're a business owner or an employee for a company or organization, you're selling something. I strongly encourage you to spend less time focusing on the features and benefits of your product/service and more time on the impact your product/service will have on someone's life. People don't care as much about features and benefits nearly as much as they do about how their life will be better as a result of purchasing from you. Tell them. Show them. Shine the light on impact. That's ultimately what people want......and what people need.

Is my chiropractor worth $430/hour? I don't know, but I can confidently tell you that $50 is a steal of a deal for me to be upright and functioning. Impact. Always impact.

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Closer Than You Think

I recently stumbled upon a few surveys that were beyond concerning. Here are the headline numbers from each:

• 69% of American workers believe they could work until retirement age and still not have enough money to retire.

• 68% of Millennials don't believe they will ever be able to retire without receiving a meaningful inheritance.

Neither of these is surprising, but still concerning, nonetheless. Americans, on the whole, are tremendously underprepared for retirement. I feel that way on a family-by-family basis, and the average and median retirement savings numbers also back it up. We are woefully prepared for the next chapter of our lives, which is a deeply concerning trend.

However, I have good news for you today. Strike that, great news!!!!! I have great, amazing, fantastic news for you today. If you've been trying to make progress on the retirement front but feel like you're not getting as far as you had hoped, you're probably closer than you think.

Last week, I met with someone seeking investment advice. In his words, "I've been saving for nearly a decade, and all I have to show for it is $100,000. I'll never get to a million. I don't even feel like it's worth trying anymore."

My response: "Congrats, you're a third of the way there!!! Keep going!"

Him: ..............

Now, it's obvious that $100,000 is not 33% of $1M. Any idiot can tell you that. From a sheer dollar perspective, he's only 10% of the way there. However, investments (if done right) don't work on a linear scale. In the financial world, we call it compounding. When our money is invested, we make money on our money. Then we make money on our money plus the money we previously made. Then we make money on our money plus money on the money on the money. It's a cycle that speeds up over time.

Here, let me show you with an illustration. This is an example where someone invests $500/month and earns an average of 9% per year over the long run. We obviously won’t earn a consistent 9% over time (it will be a bumpy road for sure), but this makes for a useful visual:

As you can see, it takes a little more than 10 years to accumulate the first $100,000. That was the hardest part, and often where people get frustrated and give up (i.e., the studies referenced above). However, because of the power of compounding, the second $100,000 only takes five-ish years (half as long!). The third $100,000, only 3.5 years. All the way up until that last $100,000, which takes just over a year to complete. From a time perspective, you're halfway to your $1M goal by the time you hit $200,000. Crazy!

This is a concept that's hard to wrap our minds around, but is so freeing once we do. I do my best to beat this into the head of anyone who is feeling discouraged by the process. It's so easy to give up along the way if we don't understand just how powerful this compounding thing will eventually become.

Don't be discouraged. Have a sense of urgency, yes, but don't feel defeated. Keep pushing through, and let compounding do the heavy lifting for you.

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Health vs. Wealth

I recently read an article about how, at the time of publishing, the world's richest man fell ill and quickly passed away at a fairly early age. He was in his 40s. The spirit of the article was his friends and family acknowledging that none of that wealth really meant anything. He was gone, forever.

The very same day, I stumbled upon a tweet by a deca-millionaire. He's the founder of multiple start-ups and is known as a tremendously successful (and wealthy) entrepreneur. He had just been diagnosed with stage four cancer in his mid-40s. The tweet, in essence, stated that he would give up everything he's ever earned or achieved in exchange for his health.

Health vs. wealth. It's an interesting dynamic, and one we don't think about until it's thrust upon us. Three days ago, I threw my back out. I've been riding the struggle bus for days, which has only worsened. At the moment, I can't even turn my head in either direction—utter misery for days on end. In my current state, my quality of life is approximately zero. I'm a shell of my normal self. As I sit here in dire pain, I'd give up literally anything to feel healthy again.

Isn't it interesting how our natural human instinct is always to give up the material trappings of this world for the sake of our health? What does that tell us? What should it tell us? For me, It's another reminder that meaning always supercedes money. Even when we act and behave as though it doesn't, at the core of our being, we know there's more to life than money. Sometimes, though, it takes a harsh and scary reminder of our mortality to trigger that human instinct.

Here's the irony of this post. Some people will read it, and it will hit far too close to home. You'll immediately think about your current or previous health afflictions and violently nod your head up and down in affirmation of my words. Others, who haven't yet experienced significant health concerns, will think to themselves, "Sure, sure, but I'll take the wealth!"

Perspective changes everything. In an ideal world, I'd love for everyone to get a healthy dose of perspective change without having to endure the pain, suffering, and unknowns of major health crises. Appreciating good health and knowing it always trumps money, stuff, and status is a super hack to life. When we truly appreciate good health, daily life takes on an entirely different meaning.

Here's to a safe, healthy, and fulfilling holiday season. I hope you and those closest to you stay well!

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Prepare, Prepare, Prepare…..Then Watch

This week was a tale of extremes for Northern Vessel. Wednesday (the day before Thanksgiving) was easily the best day we've ever had. Not only did we eclipse our previous best sales day, but we crushed it by 25%. On the flip side, yesterday was one of the worst days in the history of the company. It occurred in the middle of a 10-inch snowstorm that crippled our metro.

The truth is, we didn't directly cause either of these outcomes. Rather, we've spent three years building, tweaking, iterating, and failing our way forward to a better operation. Who we are today is a reflection of thousands and thousands of reps. In fact, the record day we set a few days ago was done with just three people behind bar, and it didn't feel hectic for the team at all. They've trained for this. They are ready for this. They crushed this.

Coming back around to yesterday's disaster, that's life. We're never promised good fortune in our journeys. Yesterday was supposed to be one of our top days of the year. Instead, we served only a handful of people, likely lost money, and closed early.

That's why it's so important that we stop obsessing over the outcomes. The outcomes will be the outcomes. The more important factor at play is how we prepare ourselves and set ourselves up for success. All we can do is all we can do, and let the chips fall how they may. Or, as one wise friend once told me, "You can't control 99% of what happens around you, so just focus 100% of your energy on the 1% you can control."

I'm obsessed with this concept. I rarely judge myself on point-in-time results or short-term outcomes. Everything I do has a 10-year fuse in mind. Every decision and action is for the sole purpose of being better off 10+ years from now, almost completely neglecting the present. This is one of the reasons why my life (and business decisions) look odd to some.

I can't recommend this approach more. Prepare, prepare, prepare.....then watch. Don't judge yourself based on short-term results. Keep the long-term vision in mind. Keep moving forward. Don't be too discouraged or too excited. Just keep pushing. The rest will take care of itself.....eventually.

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The Home Stretch

With the passing of Thanksgiving, we're officially in the home stretch toward the Christmas / New Year's holiday. For decades, I've lamented how the season seems to be over in the blink of an eye. That frustration only grew after I became a father. I want to savor it, enjoy it, and milk every ounce of holiday spirit I can out of it. Inevitably, though, it passes too quickly.

I think one of the key contributors to this phenomenon is the fact we become even busier than usual. Holiday get-togethers, work functions, shopping, and a number of other activities speed us up to an unprecedented pace. This pace, combined with the stress it can create, causes time to speed up.

Over the past few years, I've attempted to combat this phenomenon by intentionally slowing down my schedule. Specifically, I've implemented a few different strategies:

• Get the shopping done early. Nothing good happens when shopping the few days before Christmas.

• Set a hard stop date. Sarah and I negotiate a date that will be a hard stop for my work travel. Once that date arrives, I'm locked down with my family through the end of the year.

• Say no. Adding festive holiday events to the calendar may seem like a fun and jolly idea, but we say no. There's nothing better than having the freedom and an empty calendar to play the evenings by ear with the family. Movies, Christmas lights, and other last-minute adventures await.

• NYE is a no-go. I block out the entire day on New Year's Eve to reflect, plan, and set myself up for an awesome year to come. That's become one of my favorite days of the year.

• Think 30 years from now. 30 years from now, will you remember that meeting you attended, or the memory you created with your kids? Act accordingly.

I'm excited for this holiday season, but as always, I'm nervous I'll find a way to screw it up. However, if I can try to follow my own guidelines above, I have a chance to really make it a special season for my family. Wish me luck, and I'll wish you luck as well! I pray you're able to slow it down and enjoy every bit of the holiday spirit, too!

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It’s All a Game

Social media went wild a few days ago when someone posted a video while walking around a Target store. Specifically, he was shopping for Christmas trees. One particular tree was priced at $122.50, but underneath, it read, "Reg. $175 | Save $52.50."

Oh wow, this is a great deal, he thought! Then, he spotted something else. Each physical tree box had a little white sticker on the exterior. When he peeled back the sticker, it read "$120."

To summarize, Target is telling its customers that this tree regularly sells for $175, but it's going to sell it to you today for a screaming deal at $122.50. Meanwhile, the company that manufactured the tree is stating on the box that the tree should cost $120.

The collective was furious. Theft, fraud, immoral, ripping us off, evil corporations......the list goes on. Needless to say, people were upset. I, however, feel differently about it. I call it marketing. Target (or insert any other retailer here) can say whatever it wants and price it whatever it wants. It's our job, as consumers, to decide if said price is worth the value it brings to our lives. If Target wanted to price that tree for $10,000, they are free to do so. They probably wouldn't sell many (or any!), but that's what the free market allows. On the flip side, they are also free to price them for $25. Doing so would likely result in an immediate sell-out, but again, that's their business. If they wanted to say that the tree is regularly $500, I suppose they could have done that, too. To me, that's the entire business model of Kohl's.....IYKYK. Companies have been employing these tactics for decades......maybe centuries!

Today, as we experience Black Friday, the official start of the Christmas season, I encourage you to ignore the noise. Try to push aside all the mixed messages you're receiving from companies. Everything that's communicated to you is to achieve one goal: Motivate you to purchase their product.

But when we look at every opportunity through the lens of cost vs. value added, we can make a clear and confident decision. I don't care whatsoever what a product normally sells for. All I care about is whether $x price is worth the y value a potential purchase will add to my life.

Don't be fooled. Don't be discouraged. Don't be manipulated. Don't be influenced. If we go into these types of environments knowing their motivations and the tactics they might use to trigger our actions, we'll make wiser, more prudent decisions.

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The Anti-Pain Superpower

We've experienced some really tough stuff this year in the Shelton household. 11 months in, and it's safe to say it's not all roses and sunshine over here. Such is life, though.

I do, however, possess a superpower that more than makes up for all this pain. It's called gratitude. Despite all the challenges, I'm tremendously optimistic and content with my life. Gratitude does that to a person. Instead of focusing on all the things we don't have, we can be thankful for all the things we do have. It's a small but powerful shift that can change everything.

We can choose to dwell on the pain, to wallow in the misfortune, to bathe in our own misery. That option is on the table, and it's an option many will elect. The alternative is to simply be grateful. No, not to ignore the pain or to minimize the hurt and misfortune in our lives; that's very real. Rather, to draw a line in the sand and say that despite all of it, we're grateful for all that we do have in this season of life.

I could spout off all the unfair things that have happened to me this year (while the world's tiniest violin plays in the background), but the truth is, I'm quite blessed. I'm beyond blessed. I'm outsized blessed.

Today, as we observe Thanksgiving here in America, I hope you choose gratitude as well. Yeah, there are a lot of things that haven't gone well for you this year. But instead of dwelling on those, please remember how many amazing things you do have in your life right now. Too many to count, I'm sure. Never forget how blessed you are by the things you do have. Happy Thanksgiving, all!!

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An Actually Positive TikTok Challenge

Whenever the phrase "TikTok challenge" is mentioned, anything that comes next is going to be disgusting. Two cars crashing through our Northern Vessel shop doors is great evidence of that.

Today, however, I want to share an actually positive TikTok challenge with you. As I was scrolling through my feed recently, I stumbled upon an awesome little clip. A parent, on the backside of the camera, asked their child, in camera view, a simple question: "What did you get for Christmas last year?"

The kid had a deer-in-headlights look. You could see his little brain working overtime to process this question. After about five seconds, nothing. He couldn't think of a single gift he received last Christmas.

The parent then asked another question: "Where did we go on vacation this year?"

The boy's eyes lit up, and he quickly started listing off all the adventures they went on and memories they made. His little mouth couldn't keep up with his brain. It was almost like he was reliving those memories in real time.

Interesting, isn't it? I've now seen dozens of these videos pop up in my feed, each with similar results. Kid after kid after kid went blank when asked about receiving physical gifts, but then immediately lit up with excitement when asked about experiences and memories.

Experiences over things. This is one of the hallmark principles of living a meaningful life. There's certainly nothing wrong with stuff. We all have some stuff in our lives. Cool stuff. But the stuff isn't what will ultimately provide us with meaning. It's the experiences and memories that add a richness to life that's unparalleled. Yeah, the science proves this to be true. Over and over, science has proven this. However, I'm not asking you to even trust the science. Trust the faces of your kids. They will tell you everything you need to know.

Happy shopping!

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Gambling vs. Investing

I recently went on a tirade against sports gambling amongst a group of friends. I firmly believe that we will look back 20 years from now and realize that sports gambling took down an entire generation. It's literally crippling people. Not rare, random people who are far removed from us. I'm talking about our friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors. Behind closed doors, sports gambling is pilaging families of their resources all around us......perhaps even in your home.

Something happened immediately after this recent tirade, though. My friend essentially called me a hypocrite. Why? Not because I gamble.....I won't even put a penny into a slot machine. I'm a hypocrite because, in his words, I "talk so much about investing on my podcast and blog."

Everyone at the table agreed with him, too. Whoa. That's wild to me. I had to catch my breath after that one.

They explained that investing is 100% gambling. The same principles are at play, but I'm just gambling on companies instead of sports teams. In their minds, whenever we invest money into the stock market, we're gambling, and there's a very real chance we'll lose money.....just like when they throw money at the sports books.

What do the numbers say? First, sports betting. Based on available data, 94%-95% of sports bettors lose money. Remember when Uncle Johnny crushed that four-team parlay and did shirtless victory laps around the house? Yeah, that was a short-term win amongst a longer-term loss....he just conveniently failed to volunteer that little tidbit with you. The data shows that almost every single person will lose money over time. It's the rare 1 out of 20 people who can perpetually pull profits from their betting app.

Now, the stock market. In the 155 years of stock market existence (almost back to the Civil War), there has NEVER been a 15-year window when the stock market lost money. Never. In other words, over a span of 15+ years, 100% of investors who invested the right way would have turned a profit. To further add salt to the investing vs. gambling wound, the worst 30-year window in stock market history provided a 4.4x return. Yes, you would have quadrupled your money over the worst 30 years in U.S. history. That doesn't sound like gambling to me!

Is investing like gambling? They couldn't be more different. Gamblers are nearly guaranteed to lose money, while investors are historically guaranteed to make money. If that doesn't paint the picture, I don't know what will.

Seriously, though, if there's gambling happening in your house, I implore you to reconsider. I'm watching families and marriages melt before my eyes over this stuff. I'm witnessing households get further and further behind on their finances, at the mercy of gambling activity. I'm seeing cash get pushed into gambling apps instead of into 401(k) plans and IRAs. It will eventually catch up with people, and by the time that happens, it will be far too late to remedy it.

Investing (the right way!) has proven again and again to be a safe, reliable, and powerful part of every family's long-term journey. Please don't let that opportunity pass you by.

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I’ll Show You, But….

About a decade ago, a casual friend approached me and asked if I would help him and his wife "build wealth" so they could retire in their 40s and "finally enjoy life."

"I'll show you, but that's not the solution to your problem."

He hated his job, and his wife similarly hated hers. They were running the race and wanted it to end as quickly as possible. In their minds, having a ton of money and quitting work as soon as they could was the answer.

After much coaxing, I agreed to help them. I showed them the principles that would undoubtedly help them accomplish their financial goals. I knew it wasn't the answer they were looking for, but they wanted to learn the hard way.

Two years ago, they retired in their late forties. They had millions of dollars, and financially, they could afford it. However, as I warned them all those years earlier, the other side of the equation took hold. Without work or a replacement pursuit, they had no meaning or purpose. The life of leisure quickly grew boring, and the vigor for life started to wane. They began fighting more. Tensions arose. They felt like a boat without a rudder, randomly drifting in the sea. Despite having everything they thought they wanted, they were hurting.....more than ever.

They recently divorced. It's been a mess for everyone involved. After much soul-searching, both spouses went back to the workforce. This time, however, they are trying to approach it through the lens of finding some form of meaning or satisfaction in their day-to-day work. Despite the divorce, there's a scenario in which they could stay retired and make it work financially. But they've now realized that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Work does matter, after all.

I'm not glad they had to go through all this mess, but I'm grateful both of them seem to have landed in a spot where they've realized meaning doesn't come from leisure. Rather, meaning comes from meaning. Understanding that can change everything, and luckily for them, it is. I pray for them and wish them nothing but the best. It's a rough story to tell, and I'm thankful they allowed me to share it here today.

Life is messy no matter what. It's never going to be pain-free. Even the best-laid plans will surely cause tension and suffering. However, the pursuit of meaning in all that we do helps keep us grounded and content.

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Different Planets, or Not

Isn't it crazy how separated we are in today's culture? It almost feels like we live in factions, constantly droning on about how different we are from "those people." And the funny thing is that "those people" are our co-workers, neighbors, friends, and even family. Everything is so divisive. We've been conditioned to believe that the other side is dumb at best, evil at worst, and we should hate them for it.

It reminds me of a story from back in my commercial real estate investment days. I was in one of the Middle East countries, enjoying a meal with one of my clients. There were several people from each party at the dinner, and I had the privilege of sitting directly across from a man about my age.

This man did similar work as me, but we may have been from different planets. He was part of the royal family of that country. He was a billionaire, literally royalty. He lived in a compound. Every member of his family (he, his wife, and their three small children) had their own full-time, live-in helpers. Additionally, his family had three dedicated drivers who were at the ready 24 hours a day to take any of them wherever they wanted. Did I mention private chefs and live-in doctors? Rolls-Royces, Ferraris, Lamborghinis. His cars were professionally washed and waxed daily. When traveling abroad, private jets.....always private jets. He was a devout Muslim. He dressed in the customary all-white Middle Eastern garb. The Middle East and Europe was his playground; he had never lived in America. Arabic was his primary language.

We couldn't have been more different, yet at the same time, we had far more in common than we had differences. We both loved our family. We enjoyed being fathers. We loved sports. We saw the world through an entrepreneurial perspective. We cared about our faith. We wanted to make an impact in the world. Man to man. We just enjoyed our time together, learning about one another and bonding over a shared meal.

If I felt like that (and vice versa) about someone literally from a different world from me, why shouldn't I feel like that about the people around me who have different beliefs and perspectives? I'm flat-out tired of this narrative that we should hate anyone who doesn't vote for who we voted for, doesn't think xzy policy is the right approach, or doesn't share our faith.

There is nothing more zapping of meaning than a life that involves active hatred and disgust toward the people around us. You know how much energy and creativity we lose from active opposition? Too much!

I firmly believe that 40 years from now, there will be studies performed that show how mentally and emotionally unhealthy our world was "back in the 2020s." We'll point toward the divisiveness and shake our heads at how brutal that time in our culture was.

While none of us can wave a magic wand and change this culture we're living in, we can opt out of it. We can elect to live a different life. Instead of attacking differences, we can seek out similarities. Interaction by interaction, perhaps we can slowly bend the needle and help this culture get back on track. There's so much more meaning in that than the alternative.

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The $10 Fast-Food Burger

$10 for a fast-food burger?!?!

As I was on my way home from the cattle ranch last night, I knew I needed to stop somewhere for food. I had decision fatigue after a long week, so my brain wasn't working very well. Then, I saw it. There was a Hardee's approaching on my right. I hadn't been to Hardee's in more than a decade, so it seemed like a decent opportunity to break that sad streak.

"I'll have a Frisco burger. A double, please."

As I processed my payment and collected my receipt, it dawned on me that I had just purchased a fast-food burger for $10. $10? What in the world!

A few minutes later, I hopped back in my car with my overpriced fast-food burger. Probably not a wise decision on my part, but it was quick and it was food. Oh well, I can't win 'em all. Then, something changed. I opened the wrapper and took a bite. Whoa! For being a fast-food burger, that's one heck of a fast-food burger! It was delicious.

In a matter of 30 seconds, my posture shifted from "I just made a bad choice" to "Please, take my money, Hardee's."

It was a classic case of price vs. value. On the surface, the price seemed expensive. However, once I was able to rationally compare the price to the value, it felt fair.....more than fair.

For as often as I write about the importance of always comparing cost vs. value, I almost fell into the trap of judging something solely based on price. That delicious cheeseburger was a fantastic reminder to always keep this concept in perspective.

It's a small and silly example, but that cheeseburger is a great metaphor for our day-to-day lives. We come and go, making decision after decision. If we're not careful, we can easily make choices based on price, ignoring the value. I'm guilty of it, and I'm sure you are, too. So, this weekend, as you venture out into the world, always remember to weigh the value as you're making decisions; you'll thank yourself for doing so.

Oh yeah, and maybe swing into Hardee's for a Frisco burger!

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Less Is More

I've found myself gravitating toward the concepts of minimalism over the last few years. When I say I've been gravitating, I mean in spirit.....not in action. I can feel in my soul that my life would improve if I had less stuff, less clutter. I haven't put that feeling into motion just yet, but I've been sitting on this idea for months now.

Over time, I've found myself honing in on certain aspects of my life and drastically streamlining my behavior. Instead of wearing five different pairs of shoes, it's two (but primarily just my main pair of boots). Instead of wearing a number of different watches, it's just one. Instead of meandering through a vast wardrobe, I find myself (to Sarah's chagrin) wearing a handful of items over and over.

There's something evermore appealing about less. When we create a life of less, it feels like more. It's weird to say it that way, but this type of "more" is a byproduct of reducing decision fatigue and clutter. I have so many things going on in life that I wholeheartedly welcome simplification wherever I can find it. I need it. I crave it.

I've also found that I'm tremendously impacted by my environment. If I'm surrounded by a lot of chaos and clutter, I feel chaotic and cluttered. If I'm surrounded by peace and organization, I feel peaceful and organized.

I don't know how far down the minimalism rabbit hole I'll go, but I know going deeper down that road will only benefit me in the long run. I've known this for a while now, but for whatever reason, this feels like the right time to put one foot in front of the other. In some odd way, this feels like a missing link toward living a more meaningful and fulfilling life. I'll keep you apprised as it unfolds, but I thought it would be an interesting topic to put on your radar for consideration.

Can you relate to any of this? Does this resonate with you? I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on this topic.

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