The Wrong Scorecard
I just had a heartbreaking conversation with an acquaintance. He's in his mid-50s, married, with two children who are about to graduate from high school. He confidentially shared this with me, but also asked me to anonymously write and podcast about it.
Here's the context. This man can no doubt be considered successful. He has a prominent position in a prominent company. He's played the game, worked hard, navigated his way up the corporate ladder, and consequently, has reaped many financial rewards. He and his wife live in a large, beautiful suburban home, drive luxury cars, send their kids to a prestigious school, and live a VERY comfortable life. He aggressively and diligently invested throughout his career, leading him to a point where he has more than enough to retire right now (let's call it +/- $5 million). In his mid-50s, he could easily walk away from his job today and never worry about money again.
You're probably reading this and thinking to yourself, "Yeah, what's the problem? I'd love to be in his shoes!"
What he said next is where the story takes a dark turn. "If I could do it all over again, I'd do everything differently. I think I was using the wrong scorecard."
His work pursuits and the demands of his job required him to be away from his family on an almost weekly basis. As he framed it, his kids are about ready to leave the house, and he doesn't even feel like he knows them. Now that he has this pot of wealth and the ability to hit the career eject button, he feels this massive void and missed opportunity. His kids are about ready to leave the house, he finds little to no meaning in his work (other than the money it produces), and he has no passions, hobbies, or interests outside of making more money. "Now that I look back, it all feels kind of worthless."
He confided in me because it's deeply embarrassing. He feels pretty guilty about having this level of regret and shame when most people would give their left thumb to be in his shoes. "It doesn't feel as good as I thought it would."
For decades, he believed the appropriate scorecard to measure his success was his bank account and the freedom it provided him. Today, though, he's seeing things through a different lens. Now that he has the financial freedom to walk away from work, retire into the sunset, and live a blessed financial life, he realizes there might have been a different (and better) scorecard to use for this journey called life.
He and I spent many hours talking about meaning, impact, generosity, and contentment. The importance of being a father and husband. The need to disconnect our identity from our money, stuff, and status. The deep, inherent, God-given hunger to be productive and add value to other people's lives. The realization that no amount of money will truly make us happy. The soul-filling, life-giving power of generosity. It was a beautiful conversation.
Bad news: This man has been using the wrong scorecard for decades.
Good news: He can change the scorecard today!
What scorecard are you using?
____
Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.