Oops, Wrong Highway

I recently met with a mid-40s couple who live a great life. By all accounts, they appear to have won the lottery of life. The keyword is "appear." Don't get me wrong, they are sincerely doing very well, and by many people's definition of success, they would get an A+ grade.

However, when I asked them what their dreams are in life, they shared goals that are somewhat (or largely) perpendicular to their current actions, decisions, and direction. In other words, they say they want one thing, but they are actually pursuing another. They are driving on the wrong highway!!!

I visually drew this dynamic on a whiteboard, and their jaws dropped. Not because I said something profound, but because it immediately struck them how obvious it was when a light was shone on it. Their immediate reaction was something along the lines of, "Well, we know what changes we need to make!"

I loved that for them. They are so clear about their dreams and callings, and now, for the first time in nearly two decades, they will start making intentional decisions to drive down the right highway (instead of hoping they accidentally get there someday).

This is a topic my wife and I talk about a handful of times per year. Are our choices (work, money, parenting, relationships, etc.) aligning with our vision for what we want in the future? If yes, amazing. If not, we have some difficult choices to make.

I think these are fantastic questions to ask ourselves:

• What do I want my life to look like in 10, 20, or 30 years?

• Are my current decisions and behaviors leading me toward or away from that desired destination?

• What changes do I need to make to reorient myself to my mission and/or accelerate my progress toward it?

Give it a shot! I hope you find it as enlightening (and humbling) as we do.

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Full-Circle

I recently ran into a former youth group kid. I hadn't seen her since high school graduation seven years ago. She's not on social media, so we more or less lost touch over the years. I asked her what she's up to in life. "I'm an XYZ and work at ABC!!!"

I was shocked at her answer, remembering that when she was just 15 years old, she shared with me that her dream was to one day be an XYZ and work at ABC. It's so rare that we grow up and into the career of our dreams. I was extremely curious at this point, so I asked for more info. How did this happen?!?!

That's when she shared something that caught me totally off guard. I'm going to quote her, but please keep in mind it's my best job at paraphrasing since I don't remember her exact words:

"I remember when I was a sophomore, you told me to pursue my calling no matter what other people said I should do. If I am called to do something, I should give it everything I have. So I did!"

Oh, wow. I don't even remember that conversation, but it sounds like something I would say. Then, I asked her if she received pushback along the way. Everyone, including some of her closest friends and family, told her that her dream career was "dumb" and "unrealistic." People called her naive, citing, "Dreams don't pay the bills."

Then, she did it. She shared stories of challenges, doubts, and failures along the way. She often thought about giving up, remembering all the naysayers' comments. But she persevered, and today, she's living her dream.

I hope she shares that story often. There's so much hope, encouragement, and beauty in hearing those types of stories. Those are the types of stories that can propel us in a weak moment. Those are the types of stories that remind us of why we are doing what we're doing, and what's possible when the world says it's not.

One of the best full-circle moments I've had in a while. Proud of my friend and the life she's living. I hope you feel similar about your own journey. If so, props to you for staying true to the calling. If not, today's a great day to get back on the track you know you're meant to be on.

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10/10 For Michael Keaton

Do you ever have those days when it feels like the world is closing in on you? Yeah, me, too. How do you handle it? What do you do? For me (and Sarah), it always comes back to one principle: back to the basics, simplicity.

If either of us is having one of those days, we have a go-to remedy: takeout and a family movie night. As a parent, there are few things more enjoyable than grabbing a quick, fun meal and snuggling up on the couch to enjoy a good movie together. Our boys are at the age where we are introducing them to more grown-up films that Sarah and I have enjoyed for years. Seeing their reactions, experiencing it for the first time again through their eyes. It's so much fun! Side note: Both boys recently gave each of the Michael Keaton Batman films a 10/10.

In a world that makes everything feel more complicated than it should, going back to the basics is such a beautiful way to approach life. No, it doesn't erase all the problems thrust upon us, but it works wonders in reminding us of what's most important. I need that sometimes (okay, a lot of the time), and perhaps you do, too.

Shooting hoops, throwing around the football, playing video games, or building with Legos. Simple but powerful activities in my house. I'm sure you have your own version in your household. Embrace them. Go to them. Don't take them for granted.

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Playing Us Like a Fiddle

I love watching how the mainstream media and social media talk about the stock market. When the markets are going through a tough spell, people (hysterically) talk about it. The world is ending! The world is ending! You're all screwed!!! Yet, when the market is doing well, crickets.

I recently did a little informal survey on my Instagram account. Here was the question: "Without looking, how do you think the U.S. stock market has performed over the last 12 months?"

70% of respondents said the market was down. 20% said the market was up. 10% said it's about the same. On average, respondents said the market is down by approximately 9% over the past 12 months. How did they do?

At yesterday's market close, the U.S. stock market was up 32% over the past 12 months (up nearly 34% after accounting for dividends). Strange, isn't it? The overall sentiment is that the stock market is burning, while in reality, it's hitting new all-time highs. The stock market has nearly doubled over the past five years, yet we think the world has already collapsed.

They are playing us like a fiddle! From a behavioral science perspective, we see what we want to see. If we have a negative tint to our lens, we'll find the negative. If we have a positive tint to our lens, we'll find the positive. Today, our culture thrives on a negative lens, and the media all around us is more than happy to help us indulge.

One young man who answered my question guessed that the market is up 30%. He practically nailed it! I voiced my surprise that he knew this and shared why I was conducting this little study: "Oh, I don't watch the news or follow social media."

In other words, nobody played him like a fiddle. He was basing his answer on whatever information (you know, facts) he had available. He was able to cut out the noise, remove the biased lenses, and try to answer my question based on practical thought. Somehow, that's a crazy concept in modern-day America. It's a wild world when we can be more in tune with reality by absorbing less content.

One money-related takeaway. Open your investment account. See for yourself. If you're investing well (i.e., broad, low-cost stock market index funds), you should see your balances at an all-time high. Never before in your life have the balances been at this level. Celebrate that. Know it's true. Also know that rough times will, in fact, come. That's okay, though, as it's all part of the journey.

Lastly, and most importantly, try to muffle the noise, live a meaningful life, and don't let the day-to-day craziness of the media or the stock market mess with you. Life's too short to obsess over the things we can't control.  

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Joy and Pain, Pain and Joy

Two conversations converged on me this week. The first was an increase in the number of social media videos by financial "experts" belittling the act of giving. Or, in their words, "Why give money away now if you could use it to build wealth?" Their overarching point is that the practice of giving is counter-productive to building wealth (it is), and if people would stop being stupid by giving away money now, they would be able to give much more away later (also true).

The second event that happened this week was a critique of my post titled Where's a DeLorean When We Need One?" Specifically, this person's criticism stemmed from the following excerpt:

“Lastly, and most importantly, net worth measurements have a negative correlation with the greatest use of money: generosity. A decade ago, Sarah and I made the decision to give away every single penny we have. Nothing is ours. Everything is to be shared. The natural outcome for this way of life is that our net worth will eventually dwindle to zero. That's a weird way to perceive life, but I enjoy the dwindling more than I do the building."Where's a DeLorean When We Need One?”

My friend's well-meaning critique revolved around the idea that, as a finance guy having proven to know how to invest very, very well (which I teach to thousands of people), I would be better served by simply investing this money for the long run, growing it exponentially, then giving it away decades later. This person didn't question my desire to give away everything, but rather, if I'm going to give it away, why not do it in a way that maximizes the dollars given?

I have a simple response to this. My objective isn't to maximize the amount of money I give away. Instead, my objective is to always give joyfully and sacrificially. My scorecard isn't money; my scorecard is my heart. The moment I decide I'm going to keep score by tracking how much money I can give away, even my giving becomes about ego, pride, and self-service.

The alternative, I'd argue, is to simply live with a posture of generosity. Yes, it will possibly result in a lower (or decreasing) net worth, but simultaneously, it will instill contentment, joy, meaning, impact, and sacrifice into our blood.

There are a lot of reasons to drag someone, but in my opinion, dragging people for being "too generous" is the best type of hate. Several of my clients get criticized for giving "too much," and I constantly tell them that form of cultural pushback should be internalized with joy. It's funny, though, as people don't necessarily know how much other people give. It's the posture of generosity that makes others uncomfortable. That posture can stick out like a sore thumb, and if someone is living a life counter to that belief system, it can get awkward.

As givers, we ought to check our hearts. The goal shouldn't be to maximize the amount given away. The goal shouldn't be to build more today so we can give more later. The goal shouldn't be to use a financial scorecard to judge ourselves. The goal should always be to give joyfully and sacrificially. Does it give you joy? Does it hurt? If the answer to both is yes, you're on the right track.

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Where’s a DeLorean When We Need One?

I taught three high school classes last week. My favorite part of any talk is always the Q&A at the end. As the frequency of questions started to diminish, I said, "We have time for a few more questions. C'mon, guys, give me something spicy. Spicy is good."

A young lady on my far left raised her hand. "What is your net worth?"

I said spicy....I didn't mean SPICY!!!! That one caught me off guard, as it's the first time I've ever been asked that publicly. I froze for a second. What do I say? What do I say? What do I say?

"Wow, that was spicy! I don't feel comfortable answering that." Then I moved on.

A missed opportunity! Of everything I experienced last week, that was my biggest regret. I beat myself up for hours! I had such a beautiful opportunity there, and I whiffed. I could have shared something profoundly important, but I didn't. I could nearly see Reggie Miller giving me the choke sign like I was Spike Lee at MSG (IYKYK!).

If I could step into my DeLorean and get a do-over, this is what I'd say:

I'm not going to share my net worth, and here's why. Sharing numbers like that one is the quickest way to spiral into the curse of comparison. Either my number is higher than yours, and you're jealous, or my number is lower than yours, and you judge me as less than. Either way, nothing good can come from it.

Net worth is a great way to keep score.....if we're basing our measuring stick on the world's way. Instead, I tend to measure success by how intentionally and meaningfully someone is living their life. Do they wake up every day excited for what's to come? Are they making a difference? Do they find meaning in their work? Do they lie their head on their pillow at night knowing they left it all on the field? Some of the most successful people I know have low net worths, and some of the biggest failures I know have huge net worths.

I do find value in net worth, but only through the lens of that particular individual. In fact, I make every client track their net worth each time we meet. NOT because that's the ultimate goal, but rather, because it's usually a solid barometer to understand if they are or are not achieving their desired goals. It's a tell; it's not the be-all end-all. If a couple is trying to get out of debt, there should be a natural increase in net worth over time as the debt is paid down. If someone is starting a business, there should be a natural increase in the value of that business as NOI improves. In other words, net worth makes a good comparison tool under the same roof, not under different roofs.

Lastly, and most importantly, net worth measurements have a negative correlation with the greatest use of money: generosity. A decade ago, Sarah and I made the decision to give away every single penny we have. Nothing is ours. Everything is to be shared. The natural outcome for this way of life is that our net worth will eventually dwindle to zero. That's a weird way to perceive life, but I enjoy the dwindling more than I do the building.

I'd do anything for a DeLorean right now! Have a great day, all!

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The Winding Road of Life

Seven years ago, I was sitting in an office building in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, pitching a real estate fund to a prospective investor. Yesterday, I gave a four-hour workshop on excellence to 25 Christian non-profits, recorded a podcast episode, counseled a couple in pain, and spent the rest of the day doing cattle ranch work. Life moves fast.

Someone recently asked how I got from there to here. Truthfully, I'm not sure. I used to believe that life would feel linear, a generally straight line from point A to point B. Then, I experienced life. It's hard to digest just how fast everything goes and how winding the road can be.

It would be so easy to say "no" to all the detours and side streets life has to offer. After all, those paths can be scary, sometimes risky. Prevailing wisdom says to keep our eyes straight ahead and remain on the interstate.

There's something beautiful about these winding roads, though. There's a richness. There's awe. There's meaning. It's not to say these roads are always easy (they aren't), but based on my 44 years of life, I'd argue they are worth it in so many ways.

My brain is fried after all I experienced yesterday, so I'm going to keep today's post short while I spend more time reflecting on what just happened. My hope for you is that you encounter some windy, scary, and interesting side streets. I pray that when you do, you have the courage and boldness to say "yes" to the alternate route. It likely won't always go smoothly, but I sincerely believe it will be worth it. Have an awesome day!

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“Of Course You Did”

I recently got in trouble with Sarah. I made her a promise.....then I let her down. No, it wasn't some monumental, marriage-critical promise. She asked me to buy coffee beans. For years, we've had a running argument in our house. I would open an Amazon box to discover coffee beans. "Sarah, we literally own a coffee company!!!! We buy some of the best coffee in the world.....and we get an employee discount on it!!!" I even went so far as to tell her that I'll immediately throw away any random coffee she buys outside of our shop. Dramatic of me, I know.

Anyway, she's come around and now honors the fact that we should probably buy the beans from our own company. Props to her. It might have taken three years, but better late than never, I'm told.

In accordance with our new agreement, if she ever needs coffee beans, I'll make sure to pick them up when I'm at the shop. Recently, she made a request for coffee. We were almost out at home, and she needed me to bring her the goods.

I drove to the shop, purchased a bag of coffee, and sat down at a table to get some work done. Over the next hour, I ended up in conversation with a couple of young ladies who were visiting the shop for the first time. One of the women saw my bag of retail coffee and asked, "Is that any good? I've heard good things about that brand, but I've never tried it. I was thinking about buying some."

Toward the end of the conversation, I handed her my bag of coffee and told her to enjoy it. She was surprised....and grateful. It was a little weird to her that a total stranger would hand over something they'd just purchased for themselves, but I'm glad she went along with it.

Fast forward to me showing up at home, empty-handed. "Did you get coffee?" Sarah asked.

"I did!!!! But then I gave it to another woman."

"Of course you did."

That last "of course you did" made my day. It wasn't an "of course" that I'd gift something to another woman, but an acknowledgment that my randomly handing something to a stranger didn't even move the needle for her. She almost expects it. First, I love that she's learned to expect that from me, and second, I love that she's cool with it.

Generosity should have no limits. If I walk out of the grocery store with a bunch of food, and I encounter someone on the way to my car who needs it more than I do, I give it. Period. No questions asked. That's how life ought to be lived. No rules. No exceptions. No buts. No justifications. No excuses. Generosity always wins.

You might not be someone who would elicit an "of course you did" response from a loved one......yet. However, that identity can be right around the corner. Just keep saying "yes" to generosity and see what happens.

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If You Believe

Our family had a fantastic Easter yesterday. Nothing fancy. Church, lunch, road trip home. However, what that day signifies is far greater than whatever plans we executed. For us, as believers, that day means everything.

If you believe in the Easter story, it should change everything; and by everything, I mean everything! In my mind, there's no way to believe the Easter story without it revolutionizing the way we perceive and handle money.

As a person of faith, I so strongly believe in how the relationships with our faith, work, and money are deeply intertwined.Here's what that looks like through my eyes:

• Our work matters. Our work matters so much. Every time we go to work, it's an opportunity to serve others and be a living witness of the faith.

• Our money and stuff isn't actually ours. Rather, we're merely managers. If that's true, then there's no limit to the amount of generosity we should show to others.

• Our home isn't here on Earth. Instead of working to accumulate money, stuff, and status, we should be pursuing a different sort of prize. Or, as the Bible puts it, storing up treasures in Heaven vs. storing up treasures on Earth.

• We have a responsibility to be good stewards with the time, talent, and resources we've been blessed with. Not just what we give, but also with what we keep.

• The pursuit of excellence isn't optional; it's the standard. There should never be a reason not to chase excellence in all we do.

Happy Easter, everyone! I hope you had a great day, and I hope you have a great week.

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Unicorns Still Exist

One of the sneaky little benefits of writing a daily blog is the privilege of looking back at old writings. Every now and then, I'll take a peek at what I wrote on this day over the years. Today, I stumbled upon this little gem from this day, April 5th, 2024.

In some ways, the ideas I shared in this post two years ago are even more controversial now than ever. The sentiment in our prevailing culture is that we're all screwed, relegated to a life of mere tolerance at best, or misery at worst.

Today, just as much as ever, I'll die on the hill that not only is living a meaning over money life possible, but critical to our wellbeing. Sure, if we want to constantly pursue money, stuff, and status, we might find some of that. It's the American way, after all. There is no lack of people telling each of us to make that the focal point of our pursuits.

On the other hand, pursuing meaning is a continually difficult endeavor. It oftentimes requires us to make sacrifices and turn our backs on the cultural definitions of success. At the same time, we may find ourselves battling the societal pressures and expectations thrust upon us.

I believed those words two years ago when I wrote them, and I still believe them today. Pursuing meaning never gets easier, but it 100% gets progressively more fulfilling as the years pass and momentum builds. Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about, and some will hopefully find out soon.

The world tells you that you can't. I'm telling you that you can. Decide which one you believe, and act accordingly.

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When Backwards Is Forward

Several months ago, one of my clients made a counter-cultural move. With small children at home, the husband intentionally took a different job. No, that's not counter-cultural. What's counter-cultural is the fact that he willingly and knowingly took a $10,000 pay cut. We're not talking about someone who makes huge money and then makes huge money minus $10,000. I'm talking about someone who makes a normal income, where there's not a ton of margin each month, who now makes a normal amount of money minus $10,000. See, counter-cultural.

When he walked into the room for our coaching meeting, he seemed light as a feather. He had a little extra pep in his step. He and his wife seemed like their marriage was as good as ever. He looked sincerely happy! However, I had to ask him the question: "Do you ever wonder if you should have stayed at the old job?"

"No, not a single doubt!" he said with a massive grin. I couldn't have loved it more!

Society says he's going backwards, but in the world of meaning over money, that dude just won the jackpot! He's living with so much joy, purpose, and fulfillment. Sure, he's making $10,000 less per year than he was, but that was the best $10,000 he ever spent!

His wife agrees. She also beams when talking about his new job and how it's made their lives better. She's proud of him and so happy that he's living his best life right now. One could say that his decision "hurt" his family, but she would vehemently reject that. They are better than ever, and it's not even close.

I've so often watched friends around me sabotage their lives for an increase in income. They left jobs they loved to take jobs that paid more. Over and over and over, I watch regret set in. Sure, the extra income feels really cool for a while; there's no denying that. However, once the dust settles and that new income just becomes normal, they have to reckon with the reality that they wake up each day with less enthusiasm, excitement, and purpose than they used to. To me, that's tragic.

Don't let our culture convince you that the definition of winning in your career is more income. Sure, there might be more income. More income might be the byproduct of your excellent work. However, more income in and of itself isn't winning. Pursue the meaning. Pursue the purpose. Pursue the life you never want to leave. That's the real definition of winning.

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Presents vs. Presence

One of my good friends, a sincerely good man, is facing a quandary. He doesn't see it that way, but I do. Here's the short version of the story. He's in the midst of a multi-year work assignment that's crushing him. 80-hour weeks, endless travel, and a stress level that boggles the mind. But does he enjoy the work or find meaning in it? Nope, none whatsoever. Well, then, why in the world is he subjecting himself (and his family) to this ongoing reality?

"I want to be able to give my kids ______." His tone immediately shifted from work and back to his kids. He wants to provide his kids with the good life. Material possessions, a high standard of living, and story-worthy trips. He wants his kids to have the childhood he never had. In other words, he wants to take society's idealized version of the American dream and transplant it into his kids.

After much ranting, he asked me what I thought about the topic (knowing that I have these kinds of conversations with people every day). "Your kids want presence, not presents."

I'm sorry, parents, but your kids don't give a crap about the material trappings of this world. They may say things that lead you to believe they do, but ultimately, they just want you present in their lives. Period.

As a culture, we need to start asking ourselves what's really important. Do we really want to train our children to believe that the be-all and end-all is money, stuff, and status? People's immediate reaction to that question is probably, "Of course not, idiot!" However, if those same people were to look in the mirror and ask themselves what their actions are saying (and modeling to their kids), they might be communicating a different message than desired.

I recently turned down a ridiculous financial windfall. It was an opportunity to do really cool work for a LOT of money. It was flattering. My ego kinda enjoyed it. It sounded sexy. A tiny materialistic piece of me desperately wanted to say yes. The answer was a resounding "no." Presence over presents. I can't allow myself to deviate from the mission, and one of those missions is to be a present and engaged father.

Everyone is dealing with their own realities and situations. Nothing is simple. Nothing is black-and-white. You might face financial pressures. You might feel the tension. Other considerations might be in play. Regardless of where you're at and what's on the table for you, if you're a parent, please don't believe the lie that presents are more important than presence. Presence will win every single time.

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The Minions Learned the Hard Way

Like every spring, the tornadoes are upon us here in the Midwest. When the crazy storms hit the other night, and the kids experienced their predictable freak-out, we gathered in the basement to ease their fears. I took advantage of that time by snuggling with them in the guest bedroom and watching a movie on the portable projector: Minions!

I hadn't seen that movie in ages, and as expected, it was silly. Something stood out to me, though. In the opening scene, the Minions bounced from serving one evil entity to the next. From the T-Rex, to ancient Egypt, to Napoleon. Then, while between evil masters, they found refuge in this little utopic ice den. They created a sanctuary for themselves, built beautiful shelters, and lived their lives in comfort and safety.

Then, something happened. They got depressed. Too much of a good thing became a very not good thing. Endless fun, games, relaxation, and safety lost their luster, and they literally became depressed. The narrator stated, "Without a master, they had no purpose." In their world, a master represented a boss, and through the boss, they had work. Without work, they had no purpose. They didn't need money. It wasn't a necessary evil (no pun intended). Work wasn't a means to an end. The work, in and of itself, was the meaning.

I think this is such a beautiful metaphor for what we talk about on this blog and on the podcast. Work has meaning; it matters. We weren't created to be idle, living our little lives of leisure. We were created to be productive, add value, and pursue purpose. Sure, we're probably not all called to serve evil villains, but we're called to serve someone. We're probably not called to steal the British Royal Family's Crown Jewels, but we are called to be productive in some other ways.

Leisure is great, in doses. Comfort is great, in doses. Relaxation is great, in doses. All of these things are tremendously valuable, and equally important......in doses. However, when they become THE pillars of our lives, we lose meaning and purpose.

The Minions learned the hard way, but luckily, we don't have to. Meaning and purpose can take a million different shapes, but I guarantee it looks different than the endless pursuit of leisure, comfort, and relaxation.

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An Open Postcard, Revisited

During a recent speaking event, someone in the audience asked me, "What's your origin story?" Such an intriguing question! Mere hours after that talk, I received one of those Facebook notifications about past posts "on this day." This particular post caught my eye. It was a blog post I published six years prior. In fact, it was one of the first things I ever published on my website, nearly three years before The Daily Meaning was born.

As I read that post last night, it seemed, in and of itself, the heart of my origin story. It was framed through the lens of a postcard I wrote to my then-toddler kids on the eve of resigning from my 15-year career and starting over. I was scared, excited, and queasy.....did I mention scared?!?!

As I re-read the words I wrote to my kids all those years ago, I don't think I would change a thing. I encourage you to read it, and I hope those scared words add value to you today just as I hope they someday add value to my grown kids. You can find it HERE.

Have a great day!

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Tell Me They Only Care About Money

Yesterday, on the 46th anniversary of The Miracle (USA's iconic Olympic hockey underdog victory against the Soviet Union), the American Olympic men's hockey team did it again. This time, though, it was against Canada. 46 years, another gold medal. It was a historic moment, and one I don't think I'll ever forget.

The game was a nail-biter from start to finish, culminating in a golden goal just a few minutes into overtime. In an instant, everyone in the arena was crying. The US players (and their fans) were crying tears of joy. The Canadian players (and their fans) were crying tears of sorrow. Even the NBC commentators were choking up as they were trying to put into words what this moment meant. It was pure ecstasy......and pure agony.

Here's something interesting, though. Every single player on both the US and Canadian rosters plays in the NHL, the world's most prominent hockey league. These players play with each other and against each other multiple times per week, year after year. Yet, this moment was so profoundly important to everyone on the ice.

It would be so easy to talk about how these rich professional athletes just do it for the money. Tell that to my TV yesterday. What I saw was pure emotion. Yeah, money is cool, but whether we like to admit it or not, money is far from the ultimate driver. The world might run on money, but at our core, we humans run on meaning. Watching those players yesterday, I don't think money was on their minds.

Let's talk about the money, though, as it's very, very real. After doing a little research, I found that these two teams have 50 rostered NHL players. Combined, their annual salaries (not including any sponsorships or outside income) total approximately $390 million. That means, on average, the players representing USA and Canada in yesterday's game make approximately $8 million per year.

Yet, in the postgame interview, the hero player for the US squad was crying, bleeding (from getting his front teeth knocked out), and talking about how much he loves his country.

It's so easy to point our fingers and accuse professional athletes, celebrities, and large business owners of only caring about money. I think we have it backwards. The presence of money and fame isn't the tell that they only care about money. Rather, the presence of money and fame is oftentimes the byproduct of pouring their blood, sweat, tears, and passions into something they deeply care about.....and succeeding.

I'll end with this. I think we would all be much more successful in our endeavors and pursuits if we cared as much as those 40-50 players on the ice yesterday. Yes, they are rich. Yes, they are famous. But I don't think that's what fuels them. I think they have meaning filled to the brim. That's something worth fighting for.

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The Value of a Pizza

"Dad, can we have pizza tonight?"

Ah, the common words of a nine-year-old. The boys were craving pizza last night. Since I, too, was kinda craving pizza, I wasn't about to fight the idea. "What should we get?" I asked.

Lots of ideas were tossed around, ranging from frozen pizza, to national chain to-go pizza, to local pizza shops. Ultimately, we (unsurprisingly) landed on our favorite local pizza shop. Additionally, there was one more request: "No pick-up. Let's eat there." Deal!

Pizza is one of those things that has a wide range of styles, quality, and prices. For example, we could have gotten a decent frozen pizza for $5-$7 or grabbed a national chain pizza for $10-$12. Instead, we paid $20 (plus tip) for a pizza....around $26 total. Was the local pizza 4-5x better than a frozen pizza? Was the local pizza 2.5x better than the national chain pizza? Probably not. It's pretty good pizza, don't get me wrong! We love this pizza. But 2.5-5x better than the alternatives? Not exactly.

It's not really about the pizza, though. Sure, we were there to eat a pizza. However, what we were really there for was an experience. We wanted to go to our spot, enjoy our time together, engage with the familiar staff, and create memories. We didn't pay $25 for a pizza......we paid $25 for an experience that happened to include a pizza.

We had a blast. We talked about all the fun things we did earlier in the day, and looked forward to the week ahead. It was a good time. The pizza was fantastic as well, but that wasn't the heart of the story.

Memories, experiences, adventure, and time with those we care most about. That's always worth investing in.

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God Bless, Mr. Van Der Beek

I was floored. I opened Twitter a few days ago, only to discover that James Van Der Beek had passed away after a brief battle with cancer. As a '90s kid, Van Der Beek was everywhere. From Varsity Blues to Dawson's Creek to countless appearances everywhere else, James was a fixture of the time. Every girl wanted to date him, and every guy wanted to be him. He seemed invincible.

Maybe it's because of his position in my life during those formative years, or perhaps because he's only four years older than me, but his passing has sat heavily on me these past few days. It's yet another reminder of our mortality and the fragility of life. Also, as a father, it feels like a gut punch knowing he left behind six children ranging from 4 to 15 years old.

James hasn't played a meaningful role in my life for more than 20 years, but when I learned of his cancer battle a few years ago, I started watching his content. He's a sweet, introspective, and wise man. In just a short video clip, James has the ability to cut through the noise and offer insights that seem truly valuable. Today, I want to share one clip that has stuck with me for a few years. It's only fitting that I share his words today in celebration of his life.

I'm not going to provide any context or follow-up commentary, as I think James communicates it so eloquently. HERE’S THE VIDEO CLIP…..ENJOY!

Life is short. Pursue wins that matter. Don't lose sight of what's important. Have a great day.

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Except He Didn’t Say Fudge

Remember that one time (earlier this month) I blindly clicked a link from my friend Ryan and purchased a TV without knowing anything about it? A few weeks ago, I wrote about my belief that we need to be an expert where we're an expert, acknowledge our gaps, and humbly entrust others to help us fill those gaps.

Today, I bring you an update on what happened after I purchased that mystery TV. I'll set the scene. With my purchase confirmation e-mail in hand, I walked into a local Best Buy to claim my purchase. The man behind the register politely asked me for an order number or a QR code to scan, and I quickly obliged. Beep, goes the scanner. The man behind the register paused. Was he confused? Was something wrong? Was there simply a delay in the system?

After what seemed like a minute (which was probably only 10 seconds), he became animated. "Hilly fudge! Are you crapping me? What in the fudge?!? What in the fudge!?! How in the fudge did you do this?!? Oh fudge!"

Except he didn't say fudge (in my best A Christmas Story narration voice). In fact, none of those were the words he actually used. I'll let you decode it. In any event, he was beyond excited. He asked if I could give him a minute to see if there were any similar deals still available for him to personally grab. There weren't.

Seeing that I appeared to be confused by his reaction, he asked me, "Do you know what you just got?" Nope, I didn't. "Well, how did you do this?" he asked. When I told him I just blindly clicked a link from a friend and clicked "buy," he was even more shocked.

He went on to explain that I purchased a $3,200 TV for only $750. Again, I don't really know anything about this.....I just clicked a link and drove to the store to pick it up. The next day, I had it all set up in my living room. The verdict? It's easily the best TV I've ever laid my eyes on. I actually didn't even know TVs could do this.

Will I always come out on the winning side of trusting other people to fill in my gaps? Of course not! However, more times than not, I'm going to end up in a far better place than I ever would have by trying to figure it out myself. Better yet, I don't have to spend the time, energy, or brain power to get there. All that's needed from us is to find people we trust, then trust.

I know this is a weird position to take in life, but it's a hill I'll die on. We need to focus our time, energy, and brain power on the areas we know best. Then, we delegate. We entrust others to walk alongside us and provide much-needed insights and guidance. I couldn't love that any more than I do! In the meantime, I'll be watching and re-watching all the Twenty One Pilots music videos on the new TV!

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Your Values, Not Mine

One of my clients asked me what I think about a particular decision they are making. Here's how I responded (paraphrased, as I definitely don't remember word for word):

"On a personal level, you don't want or need my opinion. We are on totally opposite sides of this decision; we couldn't be further apart from each other. However, what I think doesn't matter. This decision clearly aligns with your values and what's most important to you, and therefore, that's most important to me. It doesn't matter what I or anyone else thinks of this decision. This is your life, your journey."

The topic? They are considering buying a very, very, very, very nice house. And with that many "very"s, I'm talking about one of the nicest houses I've ever seen in my life. Considering I'm content living in this 80-year-old, one-bathroom house we currently rent, we couldn't be further apart.

This is where nuance MUST come into play. Do you know how successful I'd be walking alongside people if all I did was try to jam my values down their throats? When it comes to money and work, very few things are black-and-white. Instead, it's all different shades through different lenses. What's right for one is wrong for another. What's wise for someone is dumb for another.

This is the problem with most people's financial advice: It's portrayed through their personal lens as right and wrong. You shouldn't buy coffee. You should only buy the nicest coffee. You shouldn't go out to eat. You should only eat at fancy steakhouses. You shouldn't drive a nice car. You shouldn't drive a used car. You shouldn't travel. You shouldn't care about anything other than travel. You should, should, should, should.

Whenever we try to tell other people what to value, we've lost the plot. Instead, it should be about ideas. There are ideas, principles, practices, and habits that are proven to work well. Once we're able to digest those things, we can pursue our values through those lenses.

To my client who is considering buying a tremendously nice house, that's cool. It's not my type of cool, but it is theirs! After walking alongside them, seeing their heart, and understanding what moves their needle, it's probably the right decision for them. Context matters. It always matters.

Therefore, don't listen when other people tell you what you should or shouldn't value. They are them; you are you. We're all different. Embrace your uniqueness, and approach your work and finances accordingly.

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Blood Money

Have you ever had a decision in front of you that you knew in your heart the correct answer would result in you losing a ton of money? Here's an extreme example. You have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make $50,000 for a single day's work......but it's the day of your kid's high school graduation. $50,000 is a lot of money! But it's also your kid's graduation! Is a single one-hour ceremony really worth losing $50,000?

These are the types of scenarios I refer to as "blood money." It's money for the sake of money, even at the expense of something even more important or meaningful (perhaps our dignity). Over the course of my adult life, I've encountered maybe a dozen of these opportunities. A high-paying job/project that I should say "no" to because it would surely steal my job. A financial windfall that would come with major strings attached. Work that needed to be done at the expense of attending an important life event.

I wish I could tell you I always made the right choices in these scenarios, but unfortunately, I haven't. The pain of my regret is where I coined the term "blood money." I looked at the financial reward for x decision and felt disgusted in myself. The financial rewards I received might as well been drenched in blood. I ripped meaning from my life for the benefit of dollars. It's the antithesis of what I believe in, yet I've fallen for it more than once.

There are several families in my coaching going through similar situations. Blood money is on the table. The culturally right decision is to say yes to this money, but the consequences could be dire. What will they choose? Only time will tell. My strongest encouragement to them is to remember what their purpose is. If they are honoring that, they will (usually) make the right choices.

Always choose wisely, as everything is connected to everything.

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