A Little Man Follow-Up

Yesterday, I shared about my recent parenting win when my kid, who doesn't love working, finally decided to connect the dots between working hard and having money. I'm sure it's not the end of his challenge, but it's a great win amidst the journey.

Well, it turns out, something else stemmed from this little happenstance of life. The item he wanted to buy was a gold chain; this kid loves wearing chains and necklaces. What I didn't realize while this was playing out was that after doing his work, he had money, but not quite enough money. Essentially, he was $3 short of his needed balance. That's when his brother decided to step in by gifting his twin the $3 needed to make the purchase.

Considering these two little men go at each other practically non-stop, that small act of generosity and thoughtfulness was such a beautiful win. Maybe they do love each other!!!!! Haha! Sarah and I were both touched by the gesture and by his awareness to spot an opportunity to selflessly bless his brother.

Oddly, that's not the end of the story. The little man actually purchased two chains. After school yesterday, I asked him how he liked his chains. That's when the second bomb was dropped. "It's good. I bought the gold one for myself, and I bought the silver one for my brother."

This whole time, he was scheming to buy his brother one. So cool. One kid blesses the other with a $3 gift to buy something fun, then on the flip side, he's already plotting to buy a gift for his brother, too. Again, we'll have plenty more parenting fails around the area of work, money, materialism, and generosity, but for today, we celebrate a beautiful series of wins.

Don't stop, parents. Just keep creating opportunities for your kids to make progress (and fail). Failing isn't failure, it's just the next step in the journey toward success. Keep your heads up and celebrate the small victories. I know we will.

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Joy and Pain, Pain and Joy

Two conversations converged on me this week. The first was an increase in the number of social media videos by financial "experts" belittling the act of giving. Or, in their words, "Why give money away now if you could use it to build wealth?" Their overarching point is that the practice of giving is counter-productive to building wealth (it is), and if people would stop being stupid by giving away money now, they would be able to give much more away later (also true).

The second event that happened this week was a critique of my post titled Where's a DeLorean When We Need One?" Specifically, this person's criticism stemmed from the following excerpt:

“Lastly, and most importantly, net worth measurements have a negative correlation with the greatest use of money: generosity. A decade ago, Sarah and I made the decision to give away every single penny we have. Nothing is ours. Everything is to be shared. The natural outcome for this way of life is that our net worth will eventually dwindle to zero. That's a weird way to perceive life, but I enjoy the dwindling more than I do the building."Where's a DeLorean When We Need One?”

My friend's well-meaning critique revolved around the idea that, as a finance guy having proven to know how to invest very, very well (which I teach to thousands of people), I would be better served by simply investing this money for the long run, growing it exponentially, then giving it away decades later. This person didn't question my desire to give away everything, but rather, if I'm going to give it away, why not do it in a way that maximizes the dollars given?

I have a simple response to this. My objective isn't to maximize the amount of money I give away. Instead, my objective is to always give joyfully and sacrificially. My scorecard isn't money; my scorecard is my heart. The moment I decide I'm going to keep score by tracking how much money I can give away, even my giving becomes about ego, pride, and self-service.

The alternative, I'd argue, is to simply live with a posture of generosity. Yes, it will possibly result in a lower (or decreasing) net worth, but simultaneously, it will instill contentment, joy, meaning, impact, and sacrifice into our blood.

There are a lot of reasons to drag someone, but in my opinion, dragging people for being "too generous" is the best type of hate. Several of my clients get criticized for giving "too much," and I constantly tell them that form of cultural pushback should be internalized with joy. It's funny, though, as people don't necessarily know how much other people give. It's the posture of generosity that makes others uncomfortable. That posture can stick out like a sore thumb, and if someone is living a life counter to that belief system, it can get awkward.

As givers, we ought to check our hearts. The goal shouldn't be to maximize the amount given away. The goal shouldn't be to build more today so we can give more later. The goal shouldn't be to use a financial scorecard to judge ourselves. The goal should always be to give joyfully and sacrificially. Does it give you joy? Does it hurt? If the answer to both is yes, you're on the right track.

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Of Course She Did!!!!!!!

I received the coolest e-mail from a blog reader yesterday! This is someone I've never met before, and it was the first time she's ever reached out to me. Her message referred to the "Of Course You Did" post that received unprecedented hate and criticism.

This woman said she felt convicted about the post, specifically noting one excerpt from the piece: "Generosity should have no limits. If I walk out of the grocery store with a bunch of food and encounter someone on the way to my car who needs it more than I do, I give it. Period. No questions asked. That's how life ought to be lived. No rules. No exceptions. No buts. No justifications. No excuses. Generosity always wins."

This woman said she always reads the blog in the morning and sometimes finds herself thinking about it as she goes abouther day. Well, on that particular day, she made a routine grocery run, approximately $250 worth of food. As she drove home (with her grocery haul in the trunk), she thought about that morning's post. That's when an idea struck her!

She turned her car around, and instead of driving home, she drove to a friend's house. One of her church friends is a single mom who recently got her hours cut at work. Resources were limited, and the stress was starting to rise. She unexpectedly pulled up to her friend's house, knocked on the door, and delivered her entire grocery haul to a shocked and grateful friend.

Of course she did!

Neither one of those women will ever forget about that moment. Multiple lives were probably changed that day. No, $250 worth of groceries won't singlehandedly change the world, but in a way, it can. Those little moments in time have a way of sticking with people, both receiver and giver. The ripple effects of this exchange might persist for years (or decades!).

We all have a role to play, and that role is to perpetuate a different kind of culture; a culture where everyone gives freely, joyfully, and sacrificially. No rules. No exceptions. No buts. No justifications. No excuses. Generosity always wins.

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The Most Naive and Irresponsible Person In the World

I can usually see the backlash coming, but not this time. After publishing my post titled "Of Course You Did," I was unexpectedly met with a wave of criticism and unsubscribes. To summarize all the terrible things I said, I was advocating that we should always carry ourselves with a posture of generosity. Every moment of life is an opportunity to be generous.

In addition to the most unsubscribes than I've ever experienced from a single day's post, I received three separate direct criticisms:

• I'm telling people to be financially irresponsible.

• I'm a "terrible husband and an equally terrible father."

• I'm "naive."

What does it tell us about our culture when my advocacy for open-handed generosity is met with "irresponsible," "naive," and concerns about my competency as a husband and father? People often ask why I spend so much time talking about generosity in my content. This is why. We have a loooooong way to go as a culture when it comes to how we perceive and handle our money (especially through the lens of generosity).

If the ideas I advocate for make me naive and irresponsible, I guess my new dream in life is to become the most naive and irresponsible person in the world! Further, I deeply desire for you to become one of the most naive and irresponsible people in the world, too!!! Together, through our shared naivety and irresponsibility, perhaps we can collectively bend the culture and help make our entire society more naive and irresponsible.

Would you like to join me? It's so easy! I'll give you a step-by-step instruction:

1. Find a way to be generous today, and actually follow through.

2. Repeat.

3. Keep repeating.

4. Watch it change people's lives.

5. Watch it change your own life.

6. Repeat until your last breath.

I hope you have an awesome, naive, and irresponsible day!

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“Of Course You Did”

I recently got in trouble with Sarah. I made her a promise.....then I let her down. No, it wasn't some monumental, marriage-critical promise. She asked me to buy coffee beans. For years, we've had a running argument in our house. I would open an Amazon box to discover coffee beans. "Sarah, we literally own a coffee company!!!! We buy some of the best coffee in the world.....and we get an employee discount on it!!!" I even went so far as to tell her that I'll immediately throw away any random coffee she buys outside of our shop. Dramatic of me, I know.

Anyway, she's come around and now honors the fact that we should probably buy the beans from our own company. Props to her. It might have taken three years, but better late than never, I'm told.

In accordance with our new agreement, if she ever needs coffee beans, I'll make sure to pick them up when I'm at the shop. Recently, she made a request for coffee. We were almost out at home, and she needed me to bring her the goods.

I drove to the shop, purchased a bag of coffee, and sat down at a table to get some work done. Over the next hour, I ended up in conversation with a couple of young ladies who were visiting the shop for the first time. One of the women saw my bag of retail coffee and asked, "Is that any good? I've heard good things about that brand, but I've never tried it. I was thinking about buying some."

Toward the end of the conversation, I handed her my bag of coffee and told her to enjoy it. She was surprised....and grateful. It was a little weird to her that a total stranger would hand over something they'd just purchased for themselves, but I'm glad she went along with it.

Fast forward to me showing up at home, empty-handed. "Did you get coffee?" Sarah asked.

"I did!!!! But then I gave it to another woman."

"Of course you did."

That last "of course you did" made my day. It wasn't an "of course" that I'd gift something to another woman, but an acknowledgment that my randomly handing something to a stranger didn't even move the needle for her. She almost expects it. First, I love that she's learned to expect that from me, and second, I love that she's cool with it.

Generosity should have no limits. If I walk out of the grocery store with a bunch of food, and I encounter someone on the way to my car who needs it more than I do, I give it. Period. No questions asked. That's how life ought to be lived. No rules. No exceptions. No buts. No justifications. No excuses. Generosity always wins.

You might not be someone who would elicit an "of course you did" response from a loved one......yet. However, that identity can be right around the corner. Just keep saying "yes" to generosity and see what happens.

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Tank Filler

The last few days have felt like a mental and emotional beating. Nothing significant happened, but everything involved in my days fell on the difficult side of the ledger. My tank was running low. That's when I decided to do something that nobody should do on an empty tank: aimlessly scroll TikTok. However, what I stumbled into filled my tank to the brim.

I found a series of videos of a man who approached homeless people and asked if they would like to come over to his house for dinner. Over and over and over again, people were creeped out by this invitation. Some politely declined, while others reacted rudely. In each video, though, someone accepted the invitation.

It wasn't as simple and streamlined as dinner, though. The man behind the camera tried to meet people right where they were. One man expressed his embarrassment at only having the clothes on his back. Immediately, the generous man decided to swing by Target on the way to dinner so he could pick out some clothes: pants, shirt, shoes, socks, underwear.....an entire outfit. The homeless man was stunned.

As soon as they arrived at the stranger's house, he invited the man to enjoy a hot shower. Some time later, the homeless man stepped out of the bathroom looking clean and refreshed, with a giant smile on his face. Then, they shared a homemade meal together. Toward the end of the video, the homeless man said, "I've never had an experience like this before."

It was simple. It was unique. It was powerful. These videos moved me so deeply. It reminds me of the biblical principle that we're called to give from what we have, not from what we don't have. We all have something to give, and all it takes is keeping our eyes open and being willing to step in when the moment arises. Or, better yet, seek the moment.

Each of us has something to give, and in our own unique ways. We don't have to copy the generosity of others (such as the man in these videos). Rather, we need to find our own generosity journey. Who we serve and how we serve them is one of the greatest Rubik's Cubes of life. It might seem confounding at first, but after some intentionality and repetition, we discover another side of ourselves that we never knew existed. It's one of life's greatest opportunities, greatest responsibilities, and greatest joys.

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Anti Tipping Fatigue

Years ago, I realized I was living with a conflict of interest. On the one hand, I love dining out so much that I want to maximize the number of times I can do so each month. On the other hand, I like to be extraordinarily generous with my tipping. The tension between these two desires is that the larger I tip, the more I spend on dining out, the fewer times I get to dine out. See my dilemma?!?!

That's when I came up with a little hack I'm about to show you. If I give a normal-ish tip (call it 20%), that comes from our Dining Out category, as any normal restaurant meal would. However, if I decide to go big on my tip (for whatever reason), that tip comes from our Other Giving category. Now that I had a resolution for my constant conflict of interest, it unlocked a new gear in our giving rhythms.

Having this newfound outlet for giving opened so many doors for Sarah and I. We started keeping our eyes open for special opportunities to move the needle in someone's day/life. It gave us additional reps to exercise our giving muscles. It created powerful little moments to engage people in a direct and meaningful way. It forced us to keep giving at the forefront of our daily lives. In other words, this little hack to unlock more and better dining experiences surprisingly played a revolutionary role in building our heart for joyful, sacrificial generosity.

I couldn't recommend this enough. In a culture where people are experiencing tipping fatigue, push the pendulum all the way to the other side via outlandish giving through the lens of tipping. When most servers are expecting to be neglected, shine an even brighter light on their good work.

Wanna feel alive today? Go out to eat at a local restaurant. When you wrap up your meal and leave the tip, walk out of the restaurant (out of sight) and watch your server’s knees buckle as they discover what you just did. You don't need a thank you, acknowledgment, or a pat on the back. You just smile, get in your car, drive away, and know that you might have made a difference in that person's life today. If you ask me, there's nothing better we can spend our money on than that.

Wanna get on the other side of tipping fatigue? Use tipping to create impact on this world, one dining experience at a time.

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“Mom, Can You Take Me To Wal-Mart?”

Finn steps into Sarah's SUV after a long day of 3rd-grade life. He heaves his bookbag over his shoulder, then slings his coat. It's finally time for him to relax, grab a snack, and do his typical Finny things. This day, though, he requested a detour: "Mom, can you take me to Wal-Mart?"

As you can imagine, Sarah was quite confused by this out-of-nowhere request. Naturally, she asked him why. "Because I want to buy you a birthday gift with my money."

Wow. Just wow. After Sarah squeegied her melted heart off the floor, she happily obliged. As they roamed the aisles of Wal-Mart, Finn made sure Sarah maintained a healthy distance (so as not to spoil her surprise). He took his time, weighed his options, and then eventually made his selection.

Now, the even more adult part: making the purchase. With Sarah still removed from the scene, Finn approached the check-out line in what must have resembled the grocery store scene from Home Alone. Finn pulled out his wallet, inserted his debit card, and entered the PIN he had spent much time memorizing. Boom! Little Finn had completed his mission!

It wasn't until 24 hours later that the rest of the family learned what he spent his hard-earned money on:

Well done, Finny, well done! He's not always a little gentleman, but when he does, he gentlemans well.

Parents, keep having discussions with your kids about money. Working, spending, saving, and giving. All of it matters. It will rarely go exactly the way you hope it will, but in the long run, you'll see little glimmers of promise. That pretty little necklace Finn bought for his mom is one of those glimmers. He worked hard, earned money, managed it well, enjoyed some wants for himself, and used some to buy his mom a present. Proud of that little dude.

Keep going. Don't give up. This next generation is counting on us to prepare them to leave the world better than they found it. Let's teach them well and lead by example.

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Grocery Carts and Little Signals

Several years ago, I ran into a colleague at the grocery store check-out line. This colleague was well known in the community as a generous person. This struck me as odd, as my gut feeling toward him was that he was a complete jerk. Perhaps I was being too judgmental.

A few minutes after our brief encounter, I walked out of the store and into the parking lot. Though there were many cars, it felt quiet out there. As I approached my car, I realized my colleague was parked directly beside my car. When he pulled away, I discovered that he left his grocery cart immediately behind my car! There was a grocery cart return station 20 feet from our cars, but he decided to just haphazardly disregard his cart out in the open?!?!

Ever since that day, I've thought a lot about how people handle themselves with grocery carts. In my mind, a person's decision in that moment can be an interesting glimpse into their character. How we treat people and the world around us when nobody is looking is telling.

Since that original grocery cart incident, my obsession with watching people's grocery cart decisions has sparked so many new stories. After nearly 10 years of thinking too much about this topic, I can confidently say that people who haphazardly disregard grocery carts make terrible friends. Conversely, you know who I love to spend time with? The people who not only return carts to the return station, but also slide the cart all the way into the preceding cart, thereby making the worker's job that much easier. Those people are the best!

In a world with so much noise, I think it's important to pick up on the little signals of life. It's easy to put on a loving face when the lights are shining and people are looking, but how do we treat others when there's no attention to be gained or reputation to protect? Those are the moments that tell us everything we need to know.

I don't know about you, but engaging with people behind the scenes, in life's smallest moments, is one of my favorite things in the world. I love how, after I interact with someone, my kids ask, "Do you know that person?!?!" No, bud, we should just be loving to everyone, whether we know them or not. Those are my moments. That's when I feel most alive and most capable of moving the needle in my day-to-day life.

Today's takeaways:

• Love people well.....especially when no one's watching.

• Find meaning in the small moments.

• Spot the little signals that tell you about someone's character.

• Put your shopping cart away.

• Don't hang out with people who don't.

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No Questions Asked

I receive this question from time to time, but several people asked it on the heels of my recent post about impulsive generosity. In short, here's the question: "How do you be impulsively generous if you're also budgeting?"

On the surface, the idea of being impulsively generous seems incongruent with the notion that every dollar of our income should be planned before the month begins. If all of our money is already accounted for, how in the world are we supposed to give like this?!?!

When I teach this concept (and implement it in my own household), there are three key ingredients that bring it to life:

1) Budget for impulsive giving. While the majority of our family's giving is routed through our donor-advised fund, we have a separate budget category called "other giving." This is a catch-all category designed to give impulsively. In other words, even before the month begins, we have money allocated toward impulsive giving.

2) Create a sinking fund for impulsive giving. In addition to our monthly allocation toward impulsive giving, we have a sinking fund category for the same purpose. We call it our "giving fund." Whenever there's extra money left over in our "other giving" category in a given month, this cash is scraped into our giving fund, where it waits for a good home.

3) The no-questions-asked rule. In our marriage, the only category either of us has a green light to blow past our budget is impulsive giving. If Sarah feels called to give, she gives......period. Same for me. If we don't have any "other giving" money left this month, and our giving fund is depleted, we figure it out. We move money around. We reallocate a portion of our personal spending, or dining out, or entertainment. We make some additional sacrifices to realign the numbers. But at the end of the day, it's an infinite green light.

Impulsive generosity will rock your world. It will gut you in ways you never fathomed. It will rewire your brain and the way you think about money. It will humble you. It will help you take the focus off yourself and instead place it on others. It will erode your materialism and boost your contentment. Impulsive generosity will unlock a new gear in you that you never knew existed.

Test it. You'll see....

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The Cure for Self-Pity

If you've been following along the past 30 days, you know that this hasn't exactly been the most magical holiday season of my life. Between my Black Friday neck injury and the constant sickness that's worked its way through my family, we cancelled nearly every meaningful holiday event on our schedule. This trend continued on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, with Sarah being completely bedridden with the flu. She was able to get up long enough to open presents yesterday morning, but that's about it.

Needless to say, our annual holiday traditions were knocked off-balance. Instead of the four of us attending Christmas Eve service and enjoying dinner at a local Chinese restaurant, we shifted gears. The boys and I attended an earlier Christmas Eve service, and after taking an informal vote, we ended up dining at our favorite local pizzeria.

Our lives were in such disarray that I felt more like Scott Calvin taking Charlie to Denny's on Christmas Eve than anything that resembled a happy little family.

I gotta be honest, it's all been terrible. This was easily the hardest holiday season of my life. In some ways, I woke up this morning with a feeling of mourning about what never was. It was all so dang hard.

One thing I realized about 10 years ago is that while I can't necessarily change all the circumstances happening to me, I can change the circumstances happening to others. Generosity always wins, and there's no cure for self-pity better than finding ways to practice generosity.

Every time we were faced with tough circumstances over the past few weeks, I'd try to find ways for our family to practice unreasonable generosity. It was especially fun bringing the kids into the fold, allowing them to be at the center of the gifts. They were able to observe people's reactions when something unexpected happened. They saw the smiles, the tears, the laughs, the gasps, and the thank-you's.

While I still feel a cloud of sadness about all that's happened recently, I can rest comfortably knowing that, even though my own personal circumstances felt terrible, we were able to move the needle in other people's lives along the way. We got over ourselves and our own self-pity, and showed love and compassion to people who might have needed it as much as we did. We may never fully know the impact we had in these moments, but it's not our job to know. Our job is to give, trust, give, trust, and give some more. We'll let God sort out the rest. I hope you do the same.

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Let the Truth Be the Truth

Taylor Swift is one of the most polarizing figures in the world. She's beloved beyond belief......and hated beyond belief. While she's not my cup of tea when it comes to music, having been to one of her live shows about a decade ago, I have to admit she's probably one of the best live performers in the world. Her concerts are spectacles.

Her recently completed Eras tour is among the most successful in music history. Taylor and her team performed 149 shows in 51 cities on five different continents. After all the number-crunching was completed, it solidified its status as the highest-grossing tour in history (approximately $2 billion). The craziest part of all this is that not a single show was cancelled (sickness, injury, fatigue, or any other factor). The fans counted on her to show up, and she delivered night in and night out, regardless of how she was feeling or other life circumstances.

I recently saw something that stopped me in my tracks. It was an excerpt from a new documentary about her tour. I'll set the stage. Taylor, known for taking care of people around her, gathered her on-stage dance team. She handed out handwritten cards to everyone, then asked one of the men to read his aloud, noting that everyone's card said the same thing.

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The man reads aloud: "We've traveled the world like we set out to do. We've dazzled the crowds, but missed family, too. My full gratitude doesn't come from a bank, but here's (bleep) dollars, just to say thanks."

When he read the bleeped number, you could see everyone in the room shudder; hands to mouths, knees wobbly, eyes bulging. What did he say?!?!

After diving into the comments and finding some lip-reading experts, it was generally concluded that the number he read aloud was $750,000. Each dancer in that room was given $750,000!!!! Not their pay, their bonus. They've already been paid what they signed up for. This extreme act of generosity was unprecedented.

In total, it's reported that Taylor Swift gave away $197 million in bonuses over a few days. $750,000 to dancers, $100,000 to truck drivers, and so on. Just like that, Taylor gave away nearly $200,000,000 (out of her own pocket) above and beyond what her team was already paid for their jobs. Unreal!

As is usually the case with social media, the trolls came out to play:

• "It just proves she screwed the fans with her high ticket prices."

• "She should have given a lot more, considering how rich she already is."

• "All her merch proves she's just greedy."

• "She's just flaunting her money at this point."

• "She only gave away 10% of the profit....she's a cheap ass!" (It's worth noting that the bonuses were 10% of the $2B of revenue, not profit. Her profit was significantly lower after factoring in all the costs.

People can say whatever they want, but Taylor Swift clearly cares deeply about people. Her fans (she didn't miss a single show!), her crew ($197 million in bonuses!), and the people closest to her (she has a reputation for being ultra-loyal). Yet, regardless of what she does, people will hate her relentlessly.

None of us will ever be Taylor Swift, but she demonstrates an important concept. Just let the truth be the truth. Be generous. Show love. Treat people extraordinarily well. Recognize those who help us on our journey. Let the truth be the truth, and the rest will sort itself out.

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Extravagant With a Capital "E"

One of the (very few) perks to being completely debilitated is having the time to scroll and read. Bad news: My short-term memory has been very poor, and I don't retain much of what's happening around me. Good news: I sometimes have the wherewithal in the moment to text message myself good ideas.

Today's post is one such good idea. I stumbled upon a fun little video that perfectly exemplifies one of my favorite concepts. When it comes to giving, it's not enough to give just enough. When done with the right heart and for the right reasons, giving should be extravagant. It should be sacrificial. It should create a moment. The following video clip is just that:

@globalmindapparel ♬ original sound - Global Mind Apparel

I know many of you won't watch this video, so please allow me to describe. A little boy and his father walk into a shoe store. The boy is in the middle of basketball season and needs a new pair of shoes. His dad said he could buy anything that costs less than $75. Shoe after shoe after shoe disappoints him, as he can't find anything for less than $75.

Disappointed, he starts walking toward the exit. This is where the story picks up. A young lady notices what's happening and decides to catch him as he's leaving. After hearing his story, she tells the boy that he can pick out any shoe in the store and she'll buy it for him.

After looking around, the boy picks up a $175 pair of LeBron's. The dad hesitated, citing the high price. The young lady insisted, stating:

• She knows what it's like to not have enough.

• There's no point in having money if you can't bless others.

• Why should she be in this store to buy her 10th pair of shoes when there's someone who can't even afford their first pair?

This young lady could have taken the gift in a few different directions. She could have said she'd make up the difference between the actual cost and the $75 budget that the dad could afford. Or she could have offered to buy a more reasonably priced pair of shoes. Instead, she decided to be extravagant in her generosity. Any pair he wanted.....period.

She created a moment. It's these types of stories that can change both parties. For her, that act of joyful and extravagant giving may have unlocked something in her. Perhaps that was the catalyst that sent her down a journey of generosity. For that boy, who knows what seed she just planted in him. Maybe 25 years from now, he'll be a multi-millionaire spreading generosity all around him, citing the impact a young woman once had on his life when he was just a boy. Every gift, even a $175 pair of shoes, has the potential to change someone's world.

I encourage you to look for moments like this. Extravagant moments. Special moments. Generosity that will move the needle in someone's journey. If even a pair of shoes can create that, just imagine how much possibility is on the table!

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Small Gifts, Huge Punch

I was blessed with a massively thoughtful gift yesterday. It's the kind of gift that blindsides you and may seem small on the surface, but it packs a punch. It's one of those gifts that remind us how intentionality, creativity, and thoughtfulness carry far more weight than dollars ever could.

To set the table, two nights ago I received an out-of-the-blue text from a friend: "I just left something for you at {your office}. Enjoy." Oh, interesting. I'm excited to see what this is!

The following morning, upon walking into the office, I was handed a little box. Inside was a beautiful note affixed to a unique little surprise. It wasn't necessarily an expensive surprise. It wasn't acquired through privilege, status, or wealth. It was assembled purely out of thoughtfulness and creativity. Ah, the best kind of gifts!

I texted her my deepest gratitude, to which she responded with something that stabbed me right in the heart (if that saying can be used in a positive tone):

"You are very welcome. You have blessed me in so many profound ways that you are probably not even aware of. My life is significantly better because of some fundamental things I've learned from you over the years. It brings me immense joy to have been presented with an opportunity to do something unexpected for you."

Just her text meant more to me than anyone will ever understand. It knocked me right off my feet. All I want to do is be generous to others. I rarely know the impact, if any, I'm having along the way. So when I receive something like this, it's like hooking an IV directly to my soul.

Small gifts, huge punch. Between her texts and thoughtful gift, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I think that's the opportunity each of us has every morning when we get out of bed and step into the world. The only thing standing between us and world-changing impact is a little intentionality, creativity, and thoughtfulness. It doesn't have to break the bank. It doesn't require us to possess a certain status. It's not reserved for the wealthy.

No matter who you are, where you are, or what you are, you already possess the tools to alter this world for good, one interaction at a time. That's the most encouraging thought I'll share all week, but at the same time, it's also the scariest; what a responsibility! Seize yours today.

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Screwing Up My Own Recipe

Today's post is inspired by one of our readers from Guatemala, who emailed me regarding yesterday's post. Turns out, most of us totally botched the recipe I laid out yesterday. And by most, I'm including myself. In fact, I botched it hard! So hard, in fact, that I ended up being a victim of an out-of-state involuntary relocation because my finances didn't provide the margin for me to make my own choices.

Just in case you all somehow think I'm some financial wiz kid who has always got it right, here are some of the costly decisions I made between the ages of 16 and 27 (i.e., all the ways I violated and brutalized the recipe I laid out in yesterday's post):

• I had my first car loan at age 15. Fifteen! It was a pretty sweet Camaro that I painted Carolina Blue.

• Instead of choosing any number of in-state colleges, I elected to pay 4x as much as necessary to attend an out-of-state school.

• I signed up for my first credit card one month into college, effectively delinking my income from my spending. I never carried a balance, but using a credit card no doubt had a psychological impact on my spending.

• During my second year of college, I sold my reliable, paid-off car and purchased a $19,000 Acura Integra. Very sweet car, but to this day, it's the most expensive car I've ever purchased. Think about that. The car I bought 24 years ago, with a poor college kid's income, was the most expensive car I've ever purchased. Just wow!

• I bought my first house two years after graduating from college. I felt the cultural pressure to move quickly and shoot high, and I certainly met the mark on both.

• My giving was approximately zero. And by zero, I'm not sure it ever even crossed my mind! That young Travis was selfish!

• I kept up with the Jonses the best I could. I didn't know if I would win the race, but I was sure giving it my best effort.

• I used debt for everything, all the way down to my wife's engagement ring. By the time my company shut down and I was involuntarily relocated, my debt had ballooned to $236,000.

• Meaning? What's that?!?! My goal was to make as much money as possible, enjoy said money, and invest the rest effectively so I would have even more money to enjoy later.

In other words, I lived a "normal" life and fell right into the hands of our culture's toxic perspectives. I was the epitome of our modern materialism.

There was always hope for me, and fortunately, I eventually became humble (and humbled!) enough to change. Regardless of where you are or what mistakes you've made (or still making), there's always hope for you, too! It's never too late to make meaningful shifts. A few chapters of your story have already been written, but great books aren't defined by the beginning. In fact, the best stories get progressively better as the adventure unfolds, and your story is no different. Here's to the next chapter!

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Exercise the Muscle

During my 10-year stretch as a youth group leader, I taught hundreds of high school students about generosity. It was always one of my favorite topics to engage students with! In one of my favorite talks, I discussed a concept I like to call "exercising the giving muscle."

Think of it like doing the bench press. You wouldn't just walk into the gym and randomly decide to start throwing around 300-pound reps. It would kill you! Instead, you start small. Maybe it's 100 pounds, then 150 pounds. You graduate to 200 pounds, then slowly build your way up to 250 pounds. Each time you exercise those muscles, you get a bit stronger, allowing you to lift more next time.

Giving is much the same way. Inside each of us is a proverbial giving muscle, and like the bench press, we need to start slow. You probably don't wake up randomly one day thinking you're going to give a car away. Every journey of generosity has a beginning.

Early in my journey, I remember how I would constantly scan the horizon, looking for an opportunity to exercise my little baby giving muscle. One of my favorite and game-changing reps came at a local coffee shop. Sarah and I were in line at the register, waiting to order our customary Saturday morning drinks. Two women were at the counter ordering in front of us. I could tell they were tourists.....and I could tell something was wrong. After a bit of eavesdropping, I gathered that they had accidentally left their purses back at the hotel. They were frustrated with themselves, conceding they would need to run back to the hotel before getting their coffee.

"I got you," I said. They looked at me, confused. "We're going to buy your drinks. We got you." We're talking maybe ten bucks. This wasn't some heroic act.....it was just a few lattes. One of the women started tearing up, moved with emotion by our act of generosity. Reminder, it was literally only ten bucks.

That moment moved me. Through my simple act of exercising my giving muscle, I realized how even small acts of generosity have the potential to move the needle in people's lives. That was a big turning point for me. If $10 can move someone like that, what about $100? What about $1,000? What about $______?

That moment stuck with me for years, constantly reminding me that every gift matters. Every act of generosity has the potential to make an impact. My call to action with the high school students was to exercise that muscle. Buy lunch for a friend. Take a peer out for coffee. Surprise a teacher with a fun little gift. Hold the door open for a stranger. Clean the locker room after practice so the coaches or managers don't have to. Exercise that muscle!

That's a good call to action for each of us today as well. Whether big or small, find ways to exercise the giving muscle today!

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I Like I Like Car

If I had to put my finger on it, my generosity journey began 12-13 years ago, in my early 30s. While I was actively giving at that point, I wouldn't have called myself a giver. It was something I did, but not who I was. Then, due to a series of interesting events, my eyes began to open to genuine generosity; joyful and sacrificial generosity. While I don't remember all the particular moments and experiences that triggered the generosity journey within me, I do remember stumbling upon a YouTube channel called I Like Giving.

I Like Giving was a story-driven channel, focusing on profound acts of generosity. I was inspired and humbled by each of their videos. More than anything, it opened my eyes to the tremendous power of creative and out-of-the-box giving. However, there was one I Like Giving video that moved the needle deep within me. It was called I Like Car, a story of a woman who gave away all $5,000 of her saved resources to help a widow. She needed this $5,000 to buy a car, but she decided the widow needed it more than she did. What unfolded next was amazing.....check it out HERE.

Fast forward more than a decade, and I was sitting in a board meeting yesterday. The group started talking about a mutual friend of ours. This wasn't an out-of-bounds conversation, as this particular friend is intertwined with our ministry. Then, it happened. One of my colleagues referenced how our mutual friend was once a recipient of a fun gift. In fact, there's a cool video on YouTube about it. It's called I Like Car.

Me:................. (while screaming on the inside)

Wait, that random video that helped inspire my entire life more than a decade ago was about a person I now call a friend?!?! I couldn't believe it. As soon as our board meeting concluded, I opened YouTube to check for myself. Sure enough, there was my friend on the receiving end of a beautiful gift. And not only was she on the receiving end of a gift, but I, too, was on the receiving end of the same gift. That video helped transform my life in ways I cannot even describe. My friend's living example of joyful and sacrificial generosity sparked something in me that she will never know.

I know we live in a small world, but it's not every day that we realize someone in our life played a major role in our journey years before we would formally meet. Amazing!

I'm not even sure what the takeaway is today; I just needed to share that story! But since I brought it up, perhaps you should check out the video yourself. It helped shift my heart around giving all those years ago, and maybe it can do the same for you today, too!

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Where Should It Go?

In yesterday's post, I posed a question. I challenged each reader to consider, with a completely clean slate, where their assets should go when they die. If you could draft a plan with no preconceived notions, where would the assets go? Oh yeah, I also gave three caveats:

1. We're talking about who gets it AFTER your spouse. Pretend your spouse is also gone.

2. Your kids are grown, and they no longer depend on your financial care.

3. You have something of substance left when you pass.

I've asked hundreds of people this question, and more than 9 out of 10 will say something along the lines of "equally split between my kids." Why? Because.

Well, where should it go? First, I need to clarify one thing. Your assets should go wherever you choose for them to go. The decision is 100% yours. Not mine. Not your family members'. Not your lawyer's. Yours and yours alone.

With that said, I want to share some thoughts to get you thinking today.

I've always loved the phrase, "fair is not equal and equal is not fair." We aren't obligated to give the same amount to each of our beneficiaries. There might be various reasons why one would give more to one child than the next. Don't allow pressure, guilt, or obligation guide you.

On a related note, I think we need to revisit the notion that all money is a blessing, and if all money is a blessing, more money is an even bigger blessing. The truth is, money has the ability to cripple us, enable us, self-destruct us, and zap any and all forms of meaning right from our souls. I watch it play out on a weekly basis. There's nothing that can crush the ambition of some people like the arrival of money.

If you're planning to give money to someone, consider giving it while you're still alive. There might be a season of your beneficiary's life that's better suited or more needed for such a gift. Besides, how beautiful would it be to see it with your own eyes!?!?

I have a tough question for my fellow Christian friends. If everything we have belongs to God (a core principle of our faith), why would we give all our assets to our family when we die? If everything we have is His, but yet our last act on this planet is to ensure our family retains His assets, does that seem aligned with the God's ownership principle?

I'll share my family's plan. When Sarah and I pass away, nearly everything will be given to our charitable trust to be given away. Our two little men, who will hopefully be strong, faithful men by then, will be entrusted to manage the giving of the money during their lifetimes. Further, I pray the example we set for our kids will inspire them to follow suit when they pass away, entrusting their children with a similar responsibility.

Again, you need to 100% make your own decision on this matter. But I hope I gave you something to think about today.

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Make It Hurt a Little

Yesterday was a great day for Cyclone fans all over the world, as the football team won its second consecutive Cy-Hawk game against our rival, the Hawkeyes. I'd like to say I enjoyed watching the game, but to be honest, it was a stressful and miserable endeavor from start to finish. That game is always tough to watch, but I was excited about the outcome.

The catch: I watched it from home. I had been eagerly anticipating being there in person with our season tickets, but by Friday, I knew we needed to simplify our weekend and watch it from home. I have a huge talk coming up, and I really needed more rest and more prep time.

When one of my friends found out I was staying home, he had a question: "How much did you get for those tickets?!?! That's the most valuable game of the year!"

"I gave them away."

His face immediately formed a look of disgust. "Why would you just give them away?!?! You could have gotten at least $600 for them!!!"

"Because I wanted to," I replied. The truth is, there was no amount of money I could have received for those tickets that would have provided me with as much joy as giving them to another family. That family was able to make memories, share an experience together, and be part of something truly awesome. It was priceless!

Giving is more valuable than money, every single time. Sure, we could make it a math equation. If I give away $1,000, I have $1,000 less to spend on xyz. That math is correct. That math is real. However, the simple math fails to encapsulate the greater beauty of giving. Whenever we give, it changes something inside of us. It shifts our perspective from "me" to "them." It forces us to look outside ourselves. It requires we think about ourselves less, and other people more.

Would an extra $400-$600 come in handy? Absolutely, it would! It was very tempting, too! The selfish and self-serving side of me really wanted to hit the cha-ching button on those tickets. However, we needed to remain pure in our intent with our season tickets: Make memories with our kids and bless other people. Mission accomplished.

Giving is more valuable than money. If you agree, fist bump to you! If you don't, would you please consider putting me and this idea to the test? Consider blessing someone in a big way this week. Make sure it requires tangible sacrifice on your part. Make it hurt a little. Then, see what happens. It's beautiful!

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Bohemian Rhapsody and Umbrellas

"Dad, can you take me to buy an umbrella?"

"Uh, sure, Finn, we can do that. Why do you want an umbrella?"

"Every man needs an umbrella."

I didn't have a comeback for that, but if the little man wants an umbrella, I'll take him to buy an umbrella. This is what I call closing the loop. First, we work. The work results in money. Part of the money is given. Some of the money is spent. Repeat. Work = money = generosity/spending.

So, if Finny wants to spend some of his money on an umbrella, that's how we're going to close this loop. Truthfully, he's worked hard this summer. Lots of mowing and other odd jobs. Hot, sweaty, sucky jobs. He doesn't always love the work, but he appreciates what it stands for.

So, when ol' Finn wants to jump in the car and go to the umbrella store, we ride! He was so proud of his new umbrella, but as we walked out of the store, he asked another question. "Is there anywhere I can buy a Queen CD?" Yes, an 8-year-old wanted to buy a 70s album.......in CD form. As a matter of fact, I did know a place where we could potentially score a Queen CD. Fifteen minutes later, we were rocking out to some Bohemian Rhapsody.

Closing the loop is so important, and on that day, Finn closed the loop in style!

Work = money = generosity/spending.

Work = money = generosity/spending.

Work = money = generosity/spending.

And the repetition continues.

Parents, keep at it. It won't always go perfectly (I'll talk about Pax another day....). Some loops will be effective, and some will flop. Some loops will be rewarding, and some will be a drag. But the loops matter, and the kids are learning (even when it doesn't seem like it).

Go create some loops with your kids today!

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