No Right Time

A young couple was hurting. Deeply in debt, tension in the marriage, and jobs they loathed. They felt stuck. They wanted a better life, but it felt utterly unattainable. After about 30 minutes, we visually mapped on the whiteboard how they could simply (but not easily) free themselves from this debt and the life they feel stuck in. All it would take is 15 months, a ton of intentionality, a dose of humility, and a bunch of discipline.

"This isn't the right time."

What do you mean this isn't the right time?!?! You are broke, miserable, and relationally hanging on by a thread. Doesn't this time seem as good as any?

"We have too much going on right now. Maybe in a year or two when things line up a little better."

That's when I had to break the news to them. There is no right time. The right time will never come. Their lives will absolutely not get easier. Nothing will line up better. This needle they are hoping to thread doesn't exist.

Literally every month of their life from here until they die will be the wrong time. If that's true, then there's no better time than now! Seriously! Regardless of what you're hoping to accomplish, there is no right time. It might seem like a better time might, possibly, perhaps, maybe be on the horizon......but it's not. There's no such thing. As such, there's no better time than the present!

This is the #1 rule when engaging in our goals, financial or otherwise. If we recognize there really isn't ever going to be a good time, then we might as well start now. Yes, today is a bad day to start; so is tomorrow. So we should probably just get started today.

I can read your mind. You have something you want to do. It's been itching at you. You desperately want to get going, but now's not the right time. I agree, it's not......but no right time will ever exist. Therefore, let's get started.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Respecting Lanes

About 15 years ago, Sarah and I were watching Netflix on the couch when I received an urgent text. It was about 1 AM, and the text was from one of my youth group kids, a 16-year-old girl. After making a few questionable decisions, she found herself in an uncomfortable position at a house party. She was somewhere between not wanting to make poor choices, scared of getting hurt, and nervous that she would end up in the car with an impaired driver. Needless to say, she was freaking out. One of my policies as a youth group leader was that if the kids ever found themselves in a tough spot, I would pick them up, no questions asked. On this particular night, she was nervous about calling her parents, so she texted me. Sarah and I jumped into the car, picked her up, and took her home.

Fast forward 15 years, I recently reached out to this young lady for advice. Yes, I was her youth group leader. Yes, I'm nearly twice her age. Yes, I walked alongside her during some of her most difficult teenage moments. But today, I need her wisdom, insights, and expertise. She works in a field that falls outside my purview, and today, I need her help.

I spent my entire life being disregarded and dismissed by the generation ahead of me. I was constantly treated like my wisdom, insights, and expertise didn't count. After all, these people were decades older than me. I was just a kid to them. What could some young dude have to offer them?!?! They were worse off for having this short-sighted perspective. I always promised myself that one day, when the roles reversed, I wouldn't do the same.

Well, as Father Time would have it, I'm no longer the youngest guy in most rooms. I now regularly find myself being on the older end of the age range in conversations. How am I doing with the promise I made myself? I suppose I need to let others answer that question for me, but considering I'm actively seeking advice from a woman whom I walked alongside during her teenage years, I'd like to think I'm succeeding.

We all have lanes. I have lanes, and you have lanes. Some of my strongest lanes revolve around the intersection of meaning, work, and money. I can help move the needle in this area of people's lives. Another lane is helping businesses gain greater clarity and control over the inner workings of their financial operations. Those are lanes I specialize in. Simultaneously, I need to recognize all the things in life that aren't my lane.

Enter my young friend. Despite being half my age, she has a wealth of knowledge in a lane where I desperately need help. I'm not going to her for career, financial, or business advice. I'm not going to her for parenting advice. I'm not going to her for marriage advice. I deeply respect her lane, and as such, I need to have the humility to allow her to speak into that area of my life.

This is a dynamic that most of us confront on a daily basis. In and out of the workplace, we constantly interact with other generations. If we simply get over ourselves and respect people's lanes, we can open ourselves up to so many wonderful things. It's not always easy, but it's always the right (and best!) thing to do.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

100% Ours

Tempers were flaring, f-bombs were tossed like hand grenades, and the occasional tears arose. This was the scene of a recent sit-down I had with a struggling couple. The subject matter: the income differential between the two spouses. More specifically, how the couple makes financial decisions given their income differential.

Here's the high-level summary of the situation:

• Husband makes 70% of the income, and the wife makes 30%.

• The husband handles the day-to-day finances.

• The husband's income pays for the family's needs, and the wife's income pays for the wants (travel, dining out, entertainment, etc.).

• The husband spends anything he wants, but gives his wife "an allowance." After all, she only makes 30% of the family's income.....so this is generous (his words, not mine).

• Every time there's an argument, the husband throws out the trump card: "I make more than twice as much as you, so I get to make the call."

As the conversation unfolded, the husband realized I must have had a look of disgust on my face at the words coming out of his mouth. He seemed surprised. After all, he knew that I was the breadwinner in my marriage. As such, I would naturally align with him, right?

By my records, I made 98.5% of our family's income in 2025. Translation: My marriage is far more unbalanced than his. With that context in mind, I explained to them (mostly him) that their way of handling finances is beyond toxic. They are keeping score with money and using it as a weapon. Further, their dumb idea of allocating her income to wants meant that if she ever wanted to take a different job or stay at home, she would be solely responsible for ripping all enjoyment and adventure from the family. Gross.

I may make 98.5% of my family's income, but our income is 100% "ours." Not mine. Not mostly mine. Ours. Everything Sarah and I make is viewed as a collective pot for us to manage together. Yes, I do the day-to-day finances. Yes, I createthe first draft of the monthly budget. Yes, I have more financial expertise than her. However, she ALWAYS has a 50/50 say in all we do. In fact, early in my marriage, I promised myself that I would never get more monthly personal spending money than she does. She would always get the same as me....or more on some occasions.

Something powerful happens when couples view money as a collective pot. It allows a full integration of life and decision-making. This income isn't for this, and that income isn't for that. It's just money in and money out. We're both called to different work in our lives, and in this season, my work provides 98.5% of our income. That doesn't make her less valuable or less impactful. It just means my work pays more. Sarah is impacting the world in different ways; important ways.

Whatever income dynamic you have in your marriage, I strongly (STRONGLY!!!) encourage you to adopt a "100% ours" mentality. You're a team, not a competition. Be in this together, side by side.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Grocery Carts and Little Signals

Several years ago, I ran into a colleague at the grocery store check-out line. This colleague was well known in the community as a generous person. This struck me as odd, as my gut feeling toward him was that he was a complete jerk. Perhaps I was being too judgmental.

A few minutes after our brief encounter, I walked out of the store and into the parking lot. Though there were many cars, it felt quiet out there. As I approached my car, I realized my colleague was parked directly beside my car. When he pulled away, I discovered that he left his grocery cart immediately behind my car! There was a grocery cart return station 20 feet from our cars, but he decided to just haphazardly disregard his cart out in the open?!?!

Ever since that day, I've thought a lot about how people handle themselves with grocery carts. In my mind, a person's decision in that moment can be an interesting glimpse into their character. How we treat people and the world around us when nobody is looking is telling.

Since that original grocery cart incident, my obsession with watching people's grocery cart decisions has sparked so many new stories. After nearly 10 years of thinking too much about this topic, I can confidently say that people who haphazardly disregard grocery carts make terrible friends. Conversely, you know who I love to spend time with? The people who not only return carts to the return station, but also slide the cart all the way into the preceding cart, thereby making the worker's job that much easier. Those people are the best!

In a world with so much noise, I think it's important to pick up on the little signals of life. It's easy to put on a loving face when the lights are shining and people are looking, but how do we treat others when there's no attention to be gained or reputation to protect? Those are the moments that tell us everything we need to know.

I don't know about you, but engaging with people behind the scenes, in life's smallest moments, is one of my favorite things in the world. I love how, after I interact with someone, my kids ask, "Do you know that person?!?!" No, bud, we should just be loving to everyone, whether we know them or not. Those are my moments. That's when I feel most alive and most capable of moving the needle in my day-to-day life.

Today's takeaways:

• Love people well.....especially when no one's watching.

• Find meaning in the small moments.

• Spot the little signals that tell you about someone's character.

• Put your shopping cart away.

• Don't hang out with people who don't.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Massive Blind Spots

Before I dive in, I need to clarify one thing. This post is NOT political. In fact, my goal is for you not to know which side of the fence I sit on by the time you finish this piece. Please remember this as you continue.

By now, most people have probably heard about and watched the video footage from the horrific incident that took place last week in Minneapolis. Just to be clear, what I'm talking about is a situation where an ICE agent shot and killed a woman in a vehicle. Regardless of your leanings, this incident was tragic. Many lives have and will be ruined as a result of this event.

Once again, this is another story that has ripped the country in half. Anger, resentment, vengeance, and all sorts of negative feelings are stirring all around us. Immediately after the story broke, people made up their minds about the "truth." Without knowing anything, people already knew what happened......and coincidentally, the "truth" about what happened aligns perfectly with their prevailing beliefs.

In the following days, more information and video footage of the event surfaced. All this new information filled in the gaps and provided more clarity on the truth. Something interesting happened, though. Despite having even more information, people were as split as ever about the "truth." One person could watch all the video footage and conclude one "truth," and another person could watch all the video footage and conclude a completely different "truth." To one person, the footage proves the shooting victim was 100% innocent, and it's an open-and-shut case of corrupt and evil law enforcement. To another person, the very same footgate proves the law enforcement agent was 100% innocent, and it's an open-and-shut case of the natural consequences of domestic terrorism.

How can we all watch the exact same video footage and reach polar-opposite verdicts? Because we humans ultimately see what we want to see. If we want to see corrupt law enforcement, we'll see corrupt law enforcement. If we want to see domestic terrorism, we'll see domestic terrorism. We'll absorb the facts and details that support our already-held beliefs while disregarding, dismissing, or minimizing the facts that may be contrary to what we want to believe.

I shared this idea with a handful of friends over the past few days. Every single person, without fail, explained to me that I was wrong and tried to convince me that their perspective was the absolute "truth"......and these were people on polar opposite sides from each other. See the irony here?

Life is full of nuance. If all we do is look for the facts to support what we already want to be true (which, again, is a subconscious phenomenon), we're doomed. We're doomed on a relational level, we're doomed on a personal growth level, and we're doomed on a success level. Our blind spots will crush us, either drip by drip or quite violently.

I certainly don't always get this right, but man, I try to be aware. Very few things in life are 100%/0%….the truth typically lives somewhere in the middle. We all have massive blind spots. I encourage you to find yours, and in the meantime, I'll continue seeking mine.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

A Neutral Gear

One of my young friends texted me about the recent developments in Venezuela. He wanted to know how I feel about the situation. I told him, in short, I don't know. Everyone is so quick to have a snap judgment, one way or another, on every topic. In my mind, it's not a simple black-and-white issue; it's complex. Further, I simply don't know enough to have a strong opinion. Perhaps I will at some point, but it's okay not to be an expert at everything.

Considering I write and podcast regularly, I'm no stranger to having opinions. However, I hope people can appreciate my strong desire to stay in my lane. I don't claim to be an expert on every topic in the world. I know what I know, and I don't know the things I don't know.

Social media has turned us into a society where we're forced to immediately jump to one side or the other. One day we're medical experts, the next we're geopolitical experts. One day we're economists, and the next we're environmental scientists. Every time a news story breaks, we quickly rush to our side and staunchly defend it without concern for the facts or truth.

Today, I'm advocating for having a neutral gear. It's okay to sit in neutral while we learn, digest, and process. We don't have to be an expert. We don't need to die on every hill. It's okay to acknowledge that a topic or situation has nuances and complexities.

If you're willing to die on every hill, you have no hills. If you're an expert on every topic, you're not an expert at anything. If it's so quick and easy to pick a side on every topic, the facts don't really matter.

I have my share of opinions, for sure. However, for the other 95% of topics in the world, I try to sit in neutral until I can truly understand them. It's not a race to get there quickly; it's a journey to get it right. I invite you to have a neutral gear as well.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Wanted: More “Jerk” Friends

What was intended to be a tongue-in-cheek homage to one of my friends yesterday turned into something bigger than I ever imagined. I received countless texts, e-mails, and phone calls about it. People shared stories about how "jerk" friends in their lives have made a huge impact on them. People shared stories about times they had to step in and be the jerk to someone they loved. A few people shared about how they would take a bullet for their jerk friends. Then, someone said this:

"I wish I had some jerk friends in my life. I think my life would have turned out different if I did. Everyone around me just always affirmed whatever I wanted to do. Hope you know how lucky you are to have some "jerks" in your life."

It reminds me of a conversation I had a few years ago with a former colleague. This dude is seriously successful by the world's standards. He has a fancy job with a fancy title, and the compensation package to go with it. His family lives in a big house, drives beautiful cars, travels to exotic locations, and lives a lifestyle that makes their social media followers drool.

He and I were talking about an upcoming trip I was taking to the Boundary Waters with some of my closest friends. I shared how much some of those guys meant to me and how much impact those trips have on me. Then, he said something that shocked me: "I don't have a single friend like that. To be honest, I'm not sure I have any friend I would call that type of friend."

"Why not?" I asked.

"I don't have time. Work is just too busy. Has been for years. I kind of had to let the friend thing go."

This guy might be wealthy, but is he rich? As a society, I think we need to think long and hard about this question. What is rich? Is it money? Is it stuff? Is it status? I'll die on the hill and say "no" to all of those. Wealth is wealth, but rich is something entirely different altogether. Wealth sits in a bank account and looks impressive on social media. Rich runs through our veins and into our souls. Rich creates a depth to our lives that no money, stuff, or status could ever replicate.

I don't care if you're wealthy or not, but I deeply desire you to live a rich life. If you want a hint on where to start, look at the people you surround yourself with. Find people who move the needle in your life, and vice versa. Invest in them. Embrace them, and never take them for granted. Regardless of what life throws at you, those people will add a richness to life that nothing can take away.

Merry Christmas Eve, all. I hope you have a wonderful and blessed day!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

My Friend Is a Jerk

My family has been eagerly anticipating an upcoming trip to Asia. It will be Finn and Pax's first time to Asia, and showing them that region of the world is one of the biggest excitements of my life. In fact, most people don't know that our family was slated to partially relocate to Asia several years ago. Our plan was to split our year between the U.S. and Asia. We sold our house, significantly downsized, and rented a townhome that would be easy to maintain in our absence. All that remained was to purchase our plane tickets. Then, COVID struck a week later, and unraveled our best-laid plans. Oh well, such is life.

Back to our upcoming trip. Needless to say, I'm beyond excited for this trip. But then, my family got uninvited. My friend, who is clearly a jerk, told me I'm not allowed to come now. Can you believe the audacity?!?! I was pretty frustrated with him. I was excited to see him, my other friends, and the amazing culture we would engage with. However, he had to pull a jerk move and crush my hopes and dreams.

He added (paraphrased): "I love you too much to allow you to make this decision for yourself. You need to take care of yourself and your health. There will be lots more trips for us in the future. But you need to sit this one out. I'm not going to force you to make this difficult decision, so I'm making it for you."

He's referring to my recent neck injury and the devastation it's caused to my life. I've regained my cognitive function and my short-term memory, but life is still challenging physically. His biggest worries are how the 36-hour travel days, endless time in vehicles, and constant grind this trip will risk the recent progress I've made. He's not wrong........unfortunately.

While I don't love his jerk move, I love how well he loves me. We need people like this in our lives. People who will love us well enough to NOT tell us what we want to hear. People who will love us well enough to NOT allow us to hurt ourselves. People who will love us well enough to NOT sit back idly while we make stupid decisions.

There have been countless studies done about the science of happiness. Money makes us really, really happy......until our needs are met. Then, once our needs are met (plus a little more), money doesn't move the needle too much. The studies show that three things definitely do, though:

• Work that matters

• Generosity

• Meaningful relationships

Meaningful relationships. Man, I can't even explain how much my friends mean to me. I'd give up every penny in my life for those I'm closest to. There are a handful of people in my life who will joyfully be the biggest jerks in the world in order to save me from myself. That's love. That's meaning. That's happiness. I'm eternally grateful for each of them!

I'm so brutally upset that I have to miss this upcoming trip with my family, but I need to do what's right, regardless of how frustrating it is. I hope you have some jerk friends who will do this for you, too.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Next Man Down

Three weeks ago today, I wrote a piece about the importance of savoring the holiday season. In the last paragraph, I included the following sentence: "I'm excited for this holiday season, but as always, I'm nervous I'll find a way to screw it up." That was a tremendously foreshadow-y quote, considering that my life was dramatically altered just hours after I published that piece. That's when my neck injury escalated, my cognitive impairment developed, and I began a multi-week journey to simply regain a sense of "normal."

I arrived back home last night after spending the week at a client site in Nebraska. I was tremendously grateful for the opportunity to get back to work after being essentially incapacitated for two weeks, and it was awesome to get myself back up and running. Fortunately, my remaining brain fog and level-9 pain subsided by Monday night, and I was able to battle through a level-5 slog for the remainder of the week. All in all, I'm so appreciative of the week I had and the work completed.

Less than 20 minutes after arriving home last night, one of my little guys vomited on me. He missed the last two days of school this week with the flu (he looks pitiful), and he's in a world of hurt.

Needless to say, we're limping into Christmas. We were supposed to spend this weekend enjoying the holiday spirit in downtown Chicago: cancelled. Their cousins were supposed to visit while I was away: cancelled. Other fun Christmas-themed events: cancelled.

We have two options:

1. Complain about how sour the lemons taste

2. Make lemonade

I don't know what the coming days will look like in the Shelton household, but we'll refocus and find different ways to create fun memories and enjoy our time together.

Is your holiday season going perfectly like a Hallmark Christmas movie? If so, soak it all in! Enjoy the good fortune. Make the most of it. And for the other 80% of you who might be living in a Lifetime Christmas movie, embrace it for whatever it is. Pivot, adjust, make the best of your "unique" opportunity. Know you're not alone.....despite what everyone else's perfect social media feed might say.

Happy pre-Christmas weekend, everyone! Hope you have an awesome day!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Let the Truth Be the Truth

Taylor Swift is one of the most polarizing figures in the world. She's beloved beyond belief......and hated beyond belief. While she's not my cup of tea when it comes to music, having been to one of her live shows about a decade ago, I have to admit she's probably one of the best live performers in the world. Her concerts are spectacles.

Her recently completed Eras tour is among the most successful in music history. Taylor and her team performed 149 shows in 51 cities on five different continents. After all the number-crunching was completed, it solidified its status as the highest-grossing tour in history (approximately $2 billion). The craziest part of all this is that not a single show was cancelled (sickness, injury, fatigue, or any other factor). The fans counted on her to show up, and she delivered night in and night out, regardless of how she was feeling or other life circumstances.

I recently saw something that stopped me in my tracks. It was an excerpt from a new documentary about her tour. I'll set the stage. Taylor, known for taking care of people around her, gathered her on-stage dance team. She handed out handwritten cards to everyone, then asked one of the men to read his aloud, noting that everyone's card said the same thing.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by HELLO! Canada Magazine (@hellocanadamag)

The man reads aloud: "We've traveled the world like we set out to do. We've dazzled the crowds, but missed family, too. My full gratitude doesn't come from a bank, but here's (bleep) dollars, just to say thanks."

When he read the bleeped number, you could see everyone in the room shudder; hands to mouths, knees wobbly, eyes bulging. What did he say?!?!

After diving into the comments and finding some lip-reading experts, it was generally concluded that the number he read aloud was $750,000. Each dancer in that room was given $750,000!!!! Not their pay, their bonus. They've already been paid what they signed up for. This extreme act of generosity was unprecedented.

In total, it's reported that Taylor Swift gave away $197 million in bonuses over a few days. $750,000 to dancers, $100,000 to truck drivers, and so on. Just like that, Taylor gave away nearly $200,000,000 (out of her own pocket) above and beyond what her team was already paid for their jobs. Unreal!

As is usually the case with social media, the trolls came out to play:

• "It just proves she screwed the fans with her high ticket prices."

• "She should have given a lot more, considering how rich she already is."

• "All her merch proves she's just greedy."

• "She's just flaunting her money at this point."

• "She only gave away 10% of the profit....she's a cheap ass!" (It's worth noting that the bonuses were 10% of the $2B of revenue, not profit. Her profit was significantly lower after factoring in all the costs.

People can say whatever they want, but Taylor Swift clearly cares deeply about people. Her fans (she didn't miss a single show!), her crew ($197 million in bonuses!), and the people closest to her (she has a reputation for being ultra-loyal). Yet, regardless of what she does, people will hate her relentlessly.

None of us will ever be Taylor Swift, but she demonstrates an important concept. Just let the truth be the truth. Be generous. Show love. Treat people extraordinarily well. Recognize those who help us on our journey. Let the truth be the truth, and the rest will sort itself out.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Extravagant With a Capital "E"

One of the (very few) perks to being completely debilitated is having the time to scroll and read. Bad news: My short-term memory has been very poor, and I don't retain much of what's happening around me. Good news: I sometimes have the wherewithal in the moment to text message myself good ideas.

Today's post is one such good idea. I stumbled upon a fun little video that perfectly exemplifies one of my favorite concepts. When it comes to giving, it's not enough to give just enough. When done with the right heart and for the right reasons, giving should be extravagant. It should be sacrificial. It should create a moment. The following video clip is just that:

@globalmindapparel ♬ original sound - Global Mind Apparel

I know many of you won't watch this video, so please allow me to describe. A little boy and his father walk into a shoe store. The boy is in the middle of basketball season and needs a new pair of shoes. His dad said he could buy anything that costs less than $75. Shoe after shoe after shoe disappoints him, as he can't find anything for less than $75.

Disappointed, he starts walking toward the exit. This is where the story picks up. A young lady notices what's happening and decides to catch him as he's leaving. After hearing his story, she tells the boy that he can pick out any shoe in the store and she'll buy it for him.

After looking around, the boy picks up a $175 pair of LeBron's. The dad hesitated, citing the high price. The young lady insisted, stating:

• She knows what it's like to not have enough.

• There's no point in having money if you can't bless others.

• Why should she be in this store to buy her 10th pair of shoes when there's someone who can't even afford their first pair?

This young lady could have taken the gift in a few different directions. She could have said she'd make up the difference between the actual cost and the $75 budget that the dad could afford. Or she could have offered to buy a more reasonably priced pair of shoes. Instead, she decided to be extravagant in her generosity. Any pair he wanted.....period.

She created a moment. It's these types of stories that can change both parties. For her, that act of joyful and extravagant giving may have unlocked something in her. Perhaps that was the catalyst that sent her down a journey of generosity. For that boy, who knows what seed she just planted in him. Maybe 25 years from now, he'll be a multi-millionaire spreading generosity all around him, citing the impact a young woman once had on his life when he was just a boy. Every gift, even a $175 pair of shoes, has the potential to change someone's world.

I encourage you to look for moments like this. Extravagant moments. Special moments. Generosity that will move the needle in someone's journey. If even a pair of shoes can create that, just imagine how much possibility is on the table!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Memories Don’t Discriminate

Earlier this week, Sarah and I took the boys to see Elf in the movie theater. It was one of those cool theaters where they serve you dinner during the movie. The real magic happened the night before, though, when we shared the news of this upcoming family outing. Both boys immediately screamed in excitement and jumped wildly around the kitchen. Blood-curdling screams of euphoria. Eardrum-piercing screams of joy. To go watch a 20+ year-old movie they've seen a dozen times.

Memories don't discriminate. Those boys reacted as if we were surprising them with a trip to Disney, except our surprise cost $80, not $8,000. I know I beat on this drum often, but I don't think there are enough reps to appropriately make this point. Memories are memories because they are memories. We need not spend tons of money to create them. Financial resources are NOT the prerequisite to memories. Memories don't discriminate.

We're living in a time where more and more people feel frustrated and defeated. Families are struggling financially. The tension is tightly wound. It can sometimes feel like it's all too much.

I hate that for everyone living in that reality. At the same time, however, I want to encourage parents to create memories regardless of financial resources. Sure, expensive memories are expensive, but affordable memories are affordable. At the end of the day, however, memories don't discriminate. Years down the road, your kids won't remember how much (or how little) a memory cost their parents. All they will know is how the memory made them feel.

As such, create, create, create. Use whatever creativity and resources you do have to create the coolest memories possible for your family. Don't give up or feel defeated. Drive around and look at Christmas lights. Go get hot chocolates and watch the carolers. Open Netflix and snuggle up to a holiday classic on the couch. Make tree ornaments or gingerbread houses. Volunteer together at a local shelter or food pantry. Find a big hill to sled. Just make memories! Memories don't discriminate.

Regardless of where you stand financially this season, you have an opportunity to make this the best Christmas season ever, abounding in memories and experiences. Make it happen, and enjoy the ride!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Health vs. Wealth

I recently read an article about how, at the time of publishing, the world's richest man fell ill and quickly passed away at a fairly early age. He was in his 40s. The spirit of the article was his friends and family acknowledging that none of that wealth really meant anything. He was gone, forever.

The very same day, I stumbled upon a tweet by a deca-millionaire. He's the founder of multiple start-ups and is known as a tremendously successful (and wealthy) entrepreneur. He had just been diagnosed with stage four cancer in his mid-40s. The tweet, in essence, stated that he would give up everything he's ever earned or achieved in exchange for his health.

Health vs. wealth. It's an interesting dynamic, and one we don't think about until it's thrust upon us. Three days ago, I threw my back out. I've been riding the struggle bus for days, which has only worsened. At the moment, I can't even turn my head in either direction—utter misery for days on end. In my current state, my quality of life is approximately zero. I'm a shell of my normal self. As I sit here in dire pain, I'd give up literally anything to feel healthy again.

Isn't it interesting how our natural human instinct is always to give up the material trappings of this world for the sake of our health? What does that tell us? What should it tell us? For me, It's another reminder that meaning always supercedes money. Even when we act and behave as though it doesn't, at the core of our being, we know there's more to life than money. Sometimes, though, it takes a harsh and scary reminder of our mortality to trigger that human instinct.

Here's the irony of this post. Some people will read it, and it will hit far too close to home. You'll immediately think about your current or previous health afflictions and violently nod your head up and down in affirmation of my words. Others, who haven't yet experienced significant health concerns, will think to themselves, "Sure, sure, but I'll take the wealth!"

Perspective changes everything. In an ideal world, I'd love for everyone to get a healthy dose of perspective change without having to endure the pain, suffering, and unknowns of major health crises. Appreciating good health and knowing it always trumps money, stuff, and status is a super hack to life. When we truly appreciate good health, daily life takes on an entirely different meaning.

Here's to a safe, healthy, and fulfilling holiday season. I hope you and those closest to you stay well!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

The Home Stretch

With the passing of Thanksgiving, we're officially in the home stretch toward the Christmas / New Year's holiday. For decades, I've lamented how the season seems to be over in the blink of an eye. That frustration only grew after I became a father. I want to savor it, enjoy it, and milk every ounce of holiday spirit I can out of it. Inevitably, though, it passes too quickly.

I think one of the key contributors to this phenomenon is the fact we become even busier than usual. Holiday get-togethers, work functions, shopping, and a number of other activities speed us up to an unprecedented pace. This pace, combined with the stress it can create, causes time to speed up.

Over the past few years, I've attempted to combat this phenomenon by intentionally slowing down my schedule. Specifically, I've implemented a few different strategies:

• Get the shopping done early. Nothing good happens when shopping the few days before Christmas.

• Set a hard stop date. Sarah and I negotiate a date that will be a hard stop for my work travel. Once that date arrives, I'm locked down with my family through the end of the year.

• Say no. Adding festive holiday events to the calendar may seem like a fun and jolly idea, but we say no. There's nothing better than having the freedom and an empty calendar to play the evenings by ear with the family. Movies, Christmas lights, and other last-minute adventures await.

• NYE is a no-go. I block out the entire day on New Year's Eve to reflect, plan, and set myself up for an awesome year to come. That's become one of my favorite days of the year.

• Think 30 years from now. 30 years from now, will you remember that meeting you attended, or the memory you created with your kids? Act accordingly.

I'm excited for this holiday season, but as always, I'm nervous I'll find a way to screw it up. However, if I can try to follow my own guidelines above, I have a chance to really make it a special season for my family. Wish me luck, and I'll wish you luck as well! I pray you're able to slow it down and enjoy every bit of the holiday spirit, too!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

An Actually Positive TikTok Challenge

Whenever the phrase "TikTok challenge" is mentioned, anything that comes next is going to be disgusting. Two cars crashing through our Northern Vessel shop doors is great evidence of that.

Today, however, I want to share an actually positive TikTok challenge with you. As I was scrolling through my feed recently, I stumbled upon an awesome little clip. A parent, on the backside of the camera, asked their child, in camera view, a simple question: "What did you get for Christmas last year?"

The kid had a deer-in-headlights look. You could see his little brain working overtime to process this question. After about five seconds, nothing. He couldn't think of a single gift he received last Christmas.

The parent then asked another question: "Where did we go on vacation this year?"

The boy's eyes lit up, and he quickly started listing off all the adventures they went on and memories they made. His little mouth couldn't keep up with his brain. It was almost like he was reliving those memories in real time.

Interesting, isn't it? I've now seen dozens of these videos pop up in my feed, each with similar results. Kid after kid after kid went blank when asked about receiving physical gifts, but then immediately lit up with excitement when asked about experiences and memories.

Experiences over things. This is one of the hallmark principles of living a meaningful life. There's certainly nothing wrong with stuff. We all have some stuff in our lives. Cool stuff. But the stuff isn't what will ultimately provide us with meaning. It's the experiences and memories that add a richness to life that's unparalleled. Yeah, the science proves this to be true. Over and over, science has proven this. However, I'm not asking you to even trust the science. Trust the faces of your kids. They will tell you everything you need to know.

Happy shopping!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

I’ll Show You, But….

About a decade ago, a casual friend approached me and asked if I would help him and his wife "build wealth" so they could retire in their 40s and "finally enjoy life."

"I'll show you, but that's not the solution to your problem."

He hated his job, and his wife similarly hated hers. They were running the race and wanted it to end as quickly as possible. In their minds, having a ton of money and quitting work as soon as they could was the answer.

After much coaxing, I agreed to help them. I showed them the principles that would undoubtedly help them accomplish their financial goals. I knew it wasn't the answer they were looking for, but they wanted to learn the hard way.

Two years ago, they retired in their late forties. They had millions of dollars, and financially, they could afford it. However, as I warned them all those years earlier, the other side of the equation took hold. Without work or a replacement pursuit, they had no meaning or purpose. The life of leisure quickly grew boring, and the vigor for life started to wane. They began fighting more. Tensions arose. They felt like a boat without a rudder, randomly drifting in the sea. Despite having everything they thought they wanted, they were hurting.....more than ever.

They recently divorced. It's been a mess for everyone involved. After much soul-searching, both spouses went back to the workforce. This time, however, they are trying to approach it through the lens of finding some form of meaning or satisfaction in their day-to-day work. Despite the divorce, there's a scenario in which they could stay retired and make it work financially. But they've now realized that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Work does matter, after all.

I'm not glad they had to go through all this mess, but I'm grateful both of them seem to have landed in a spot where they've realized meaning doesn't come from leisure. Rather, meaning comes from meaning. Understanding that can change everything, and luckily for them, it is. I pray for them and wish them nothing but the best. It's a rough story to tell, and I'm thankful they allowed me to share it here today.

Life is messy no matter what. It's never going to be pain-free. Even the best-laid plans will surely cause tension and suffering. However, the pursuit of meaning in all that we do helps keep us grounded and content.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Different Planets, or Not

Isn't it crazy how separated we are in today's culture? It almost feels like we live in factions, constantly droning on about how different we are from "those people." And the funny thing is that "those people" are our co-workers, neighbors, friends, and even family. Everything is so divisive. We've been conditioned to believe that the other side is dumb at best, evil at worst, and we should hate them for it.

It reminds me of a story from back in my commercial real estate investment days. I was in one of the Middle East countries, enjoying a meal with one of my clients. There were several people from each party at the dinner, and I had the privilege of sitting directly across from a man about my age.

This man did similar work as me, but we may have been from different planets. He was part of the royal family of that country. He was a billionaire, literally royalty. He lived in a compound. Every member of his family (he, his wife, and their three small children) had their own full-time, live-in helpers. Additionally, his family had three dedicated drivers who were at the ready 24 hours a day to take any of them wherever they wanted. Did I mention private chefs and live-in doctors? Rolls-Royces, Ferraris, Lamborghinis. His cars were professionally washed and waxed daily. When traveling abroad, private jets.....always private jets. He was a devout Muslim. He dressed in the customary all-white Middle Eastern garb. The Middle East and Europe was his playground; he had never lived in America. Arabic was his primary language.

We couldn't have been more different, yet at the same time, we had far more in common than we had differences. We both loved our family. We enjoyed being fathers. We loved sports. We saw the world through an entrepreneurial perspective. We cared about our faith. We wanted to make an impact in the world. Man to man. We just enjoyed our time together, learning about one another and bonding over a shared meal.

If I felt like that (and vice versa) about someone literally from a different world from me, why shouldn't I feel like that about the people around me who have different beliefs and perspectives? I'm flat-out tired of this narrative that we should hate anyone who doesn't vote for who we voted for, doesn't think xzy policy is the right approach, or doesn't share our faith.

There is nothing more zapping of meaning than a life that involves active hatred and disgust toward the people around us. You know how much energy and creativity we lose from active opposition? Too much!

I firmly believe that 40 years from now, there will be studies performed that show how mentally and emotionally unhealthy our world was "back in the 2020s." We'll point toward the divisiveness and shake our heads at how brutal that time in our culture was.

While none of us can wave a magic wand and change this culture we're living in, we can opt out of it. We can elect to live a different life. Instead of attacking differences, we can seek out similarities. Interaction by interaction, perhaps we can slowly bend the needle and help this culture get back on track. There's so much more meaning in that than the alternative.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

This Is Life

Life isn't awesome because it's full of rainbows and sunshine. Life is awesome because it's awesome, warts and all. Social media is notorious for portraying everyone else's lives as perfect. The perfect marriage. The perfect kids. The perfect clothes. The perfect house. The perfect car. The perfect trips. It's all a facade, though. It's a curation of people's highlight reels. Underneath the mask of perfection is real life. Pain. Stress. Tension. Struggle. Loss. Brokenness. This is life. These things don't make life less awesome, but rather, they are what make life so awesome.

For the record, I'm not some masochist who revels in pain and suffering. Instead, what I see more times than not, is that pain is where the beauty comes from. Pain is oftentimes the trigger for some of the most powerful and profound moments of our lives. Having to endure the pain is what makes the sweet moments that much sweeter.

I've vaguely alluded to this story a few times in the past few months, but it wasn't my story to tell. Today, fortunately, I get to let them tell it themselves. Below is a short video that shares the story of one of my friends/clients. It's such a tragic story, yet is simultaneously the most beautiful story. I tear up even as I write this. If you only engage with one thing I post all month, please make it this powerful five-minute video.

I have no idea what the future holds for this family, but this tragic event will no doubt play a meaningful role in what happens next. I can already testify that much good has already come from this, and you get a glimpse of it in this video. This is life. It's full of joy, sorrow, love, pain, gratitude, suffering, and generosity. It doesn't make for a sexy and jealousy-worthy social media feed, but it's real; it's genuine. If I were a betting man, I’d bet my life savings that all four members of this family use this experience to make a positive impact on others, and probably change the world along the way. I’m humbled by their courage, perseverance, and positivity. They are better people than me, and I admire them so much.

Many of you are hurting today. Many of you are suffering in silence. Many of you are dealing with something that you have no idea how you'll get through. I'm so sorry. It's what makes life so hard, but at the same time, it's what makes life so beautiful. What you see on social media each day isn't real. This is real. This is life. You got this.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Small Gifts, Huge Punch

I was blessed with a massively thoughtful gift yesterday. It's the kind of gift that blindsides you and may seem small on the surface, but it packs a punch. It's one of those gifts that remind us how intentionality, creativity, and thoughtfulness carry far more weight than dollars ever could.

To set the table, two nights ago I received an out-of-the-blue text from a friend: "I just left something for you at {your office}. Enjoy." Oh, interesting. I'm excited to see what this is!

The following morning, upon walking into the office, I was handed a little box. Inside was a beautiful note affixed to a unique little surprise. It wasn't necessarily an expensive surprise. It wasn't acquired through privilege, status, or wealth. It was assembled purely out of thoughtfulness and creativity. Ah, the best kind of gifts!

I texted her my deepest gratitude, to which she responded with something that stabbed me right in the heart (if that saying can be used in a positive tone):

"You are very welcome. You have blessed me in so many profound ways that you are probably not even aware of. My life is significantly better because of some fundamental things I've learned from you over the years. It brings me immense joy to have been presented with an opportunity to do something unexpected for you."

Just her text meant more to me than anyone will ever understand. It knocked me right off my feet. All I want to do is be generous to others. I rarely know the impact, if any, I'm having along the way. So when I receive something like this, it's like hooking an IV directly to my soul.

Small gifts, huge punch. Between her texts and thoughtful gift, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I think that's the opportunity each of us has every morning when we get out of bed and step into the world. The only thing standing between us and world-changing impact is a little intentionality, creativity, and thoughtfulness. It doesn't have to break the bank. It doesn't require us to possess a certain status. It's not reserved for the wealthy.

No matter who you are, where you are, or what you are, you already possess the tools to alter this world for good, one interaction at a time. That's the most encouraging thought I'll share all week, but at the same time, it's also the scariest; what a responsibility! Seize yours today.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

What Am I Missing?

Sarah and I have been creating, following, and tracking monthly budgets since we got married. Given we've been married for 15 years, that means we've done this 180 times now!

I'll die on the hill that BOTH spouses need to be involved in the budgeting process. However, that doesn't mean both spouses need to create and track it. Oftentimes, one spouse will be more inclined (interest-wise or skill-wise) to do the heavy lifting. In the case of my household, I married someone who is allergic to numbers. Therefore, in order to protect Sarah's health, I take the lead on all things numbers-related.

With that said, this doesn't give her an out from dealing with the finances. Rather, it just means she plays a different role. When it comes time to create our monthly budget, I never dictate it to her. It's never, "Hey Sarah, here's our budget for the month." That would be a terrible way to do it (though it's how most marriages work, unfortunately).

Instead, I always create the first draft of the budget and give it to her for feedback. Early in our marriage, I'd ask her, "How does this look?" This type of question typically led to a natural answer: "Good." Shoot, that's not what I needed!

Then, I quickly realized I needed to take a different approach. For the last 14+ years, I've asked a different question: "What am I missing?" Sarah loves telling me what I missed! Thus, I get lots of feedback from her. She's getting her hair done, we have family member birthdays, turns out the kids keep growing and need new clothes, what about that appliance we agreed to buy a few weeks ago?!? A simple question with a handful of responses can turn a good budget into a great one. We don't always have a great budget, but more often than not we do.

Just a slight tweak in our framing can change the entire dynamic of the conversation. Sarah will never claim to be interested in finances or strong with numbers, but she's been a great partner in our effort to create, follow, and track our monthly budgets. It hasn't been perfect, but it's been good. And oftentimes, good is the gateway to unlocking our hopes, dreams, aspirations, and callings.

I can't stress enough how powerful budgeting can be in a marriage. Powerful for the relationship, powerful for the finances, and powerful for the journey. After doing this for 15 years together, I can confidently testify that we would be nowhere near where we are today without these practices.

What about you? Is it time to get your spouse involved? If your spouse is the one already doing it all, perhaps it's time for you to get involved? Marriage is meant to be a team, finances included. Please allow money to be a unifying force in your marriage, not a source of tension as is often the case. You deserve better!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.