A Cheap (Little Man) Date

When I talk to friends, I hear many stories about how they take their kids to these extravagant events and expensive activities. All of it sounds fun, very fun. It's what they say next that causes me to scratch my head: "We just want to give our kids a good summer." In these conversations, the messaging is clear: spending money = a good summer; not spending money = a bad summer. They don't outright say that, but it's intertwined into the fabric of the conversation.

Again, I'm not opposed to any of it. In fact, there are a few things I'll do with my kids this summer that will probably cost some money. However, I try to NEVER define the quality of our time together by how much or how little it costs. Last night was a great example. The boys wanted to make a fire in the backyard, roast some marshmallows, toss the football around, and watch a movie. That was their definition of a fun night with dad. And all it cost us was a few pieces of wood and a couple of marshmallows. More importantly, it cost my presence. I needed to put down the work, get rid of the phone, and simply focus on them. Frankly, that can sometimes be harder than blindly spending money. Time and attention are precious resources, but it's the currency of childhood.

After a busy weekend, I asked the boys what their favorite things were. For context, we did a lot of fun activities and attended kid-friendly events that I would have loved when I was their age. I had no idea how they would respond to my question. After thinking about all the fun we had during the weekend, Pax responded, "playing football in the front yard with you." Wow. That one got me.

Parents, don't feel like the best way to your children's heart (and their wonder) is to spend money and do crazy things. Nothing wrong with those things! Do some cool things! But remember, doing those things isn't a prerequisite to creating lifelong memories and providing a good life. The good life starts with our attention, time, and love. The rest is just noise.

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A Different Person

I ran into a close friend yesterday who had been following the blog over the last week while I was in Colombia. He asked a very interesting question: "How do trips like that impact you?"

In short, I sincerely believe I return from those types of trips as a different person. When we leave our personal bubbles and allow ourselves to be uncomfortable, it stretches us in ways that are hard to fully communicate.

Those types of experiences challenge everything we know to be true, everything we take for granted, and every bias we use to engage the world around us. Those types of experiences also call into question who we are as people, what our place in the world is, and how we can best serve the greater good. So yeah, I don't think it's hyperbole to say that we return as different people after trips like that.

My first trip out of the country was at age 26; to England and Ireland. Despite both of those countries being Westernized and English-speaking, that trip profoundly changed me. My small little mind couldn't believe how big the world was, yet at the same time, how small it was. That trip showed me that no matter what I thought I knew, I actually knew nothing. Fast forward twenty years, and I think I've been to upwards of 40 countries. Each trip, each location, and each experience changed me in a different way.

How did this trip change me? My takeaways are pretty clear:

• Even the biggest, most audacious dreams are possible. We don't get to decide what's possible. Only God can decide.

• Time is but a number. No matter how long or short something will theoretically take, reality doesn't care about projections. It will happen when it's supposed to happen.

• People don't have to be world-changers to change the world. Some of the largest impacts come from the smallest, most humble beginnings.

• Life is so, so fragile. We can't take our days for granted. Any day could be THE day.

• There are a lot of dark forces in the world, darker than we often see with the naked eye or while stuck in our bubbles.

• Relationships are the key to everything. I've known this, but this trip was another reminder of the sheer power and beauty of relationships.

• Everyone has a role. Each person on our team brought specific, non-replicable roles to the table. None of us could have filled the others' roles. Regardless of your role, it matters. Don't judge. Don't compare. Don't minimize yourself.

It's going to take me a few weeks to fully process everything that happened on this trip. However, it's safe to say that I'll never be the same after it. I'm a different person. God willing, a better person.

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Home is Home

I woke up in my own bed this morning. My head is still spinning after returning from a trip of a lifetime. It included three of the most surreal days of my life. I'm not even sure people would believe the stories if I told them. I am blessed beyond belief, and eternally grateful for every person I interacted with during my time in Colombia.

But I missed my wife. And I missed my boys. I missed our life together. No matter how good it is to see the world and endeavor to make an impact beyond ourselves, it's equally as good to return home. I'm looking forward to football in the backyard, movie snuggles on the couch, morning coffee with Sarah, video games with the boys, delicious drinks from my coffee shop, pizza at our nearby joint, and the normal work I'm blessed to do for those I'm blessed to serve. Home is amazing. Home doesn't need to be fancy, exotic, expensive, or luxurious. Home just needs to be home. Home needs to be the place where we can let go of all the stress and burden we carry on our shoulders, and engage those we love most in the simplest of ways.

I'm exhausted, but satisfied. Excited, but weary. Encouraged, but drained. Tired, but energetic. Heartbroken for the things I've seen, but hopeful for the same. My body fat percentage has probably jumped a few points after all this amazing Colombian food, but I'm looking forward to locking back into my habits and practices. I'll miss my Colombian friends, but will welcome my American friends. Both sides of the equation are needed otherwise appreciate the other. I needed to be reminded of that this week. I've carried many heavy burdens these last few months, and this trip no doubt jarred some perspective into me. The job is not complete. In fact, it's only beginning.

Home is an amazing place. We ought not take it for granted. I can't wait for my next trip to Colombia, but in the meantime, I'm going to appreciate home all the same. On a related note, I'm probably going to get a knee-drop to the chest by a stinky little boy any moment now and nearly die from the pain. I'm really looking forward to that. I miss those errant and reckless 9-year-old knees knocking the wind right out of my lungs. I hope you have a great day, and please, please, please never take home for granted. It should be a special place for us all.

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Kristian, I Want to Play a Game

Yesterday was my final full day in Colombia. I woke up in a hotel connected to a shopping mall in a city called Neiva. After a productive morning of meetings, we packed our bags and headed into the mall for lunch. I gotta tell you, the energy in that mall was electric! Literally thousands of people were there shopping, eating, drinking, playing, and conversing. It reminded me of America’s vibrant mall culture in the late 90s. Safe to say I was digging it!

After realizing that almost every other restaurant and food court was absolutely slammed, the team selected a quieter little restaurant within the mall. Immediately after being seated, we started scanning the menu. 

I have a rule when I travel abroad. I won’t eat anything that I am familiar with or can readily get in America. One of the best ways to learn someone’s culture and build relationships is through shared experiences with THEIR cuisine. 

“Kristian, I want to play a game.” Kristian is the husband of our team leader. He and I had some fun bonding time this week, and I knew our time was coming to an end (which is always sad). I explained to him that I wanted him to order me whatever he was going to order for himself, and not tell me anything about it. I wanted to be surprised, then enjoy. No limits, no rules. 

Every time each of us sits down at a restaurant, we bring our biases, fears, and experiences to the table. Subconsciously, our minds tell us to find something familiar, something comfortable. I would do it, too! But when we treat it as a game and make ourselves uncomfortable by throwing away the rule book, amazing things can happen. 

After a bit, the server delivered the most beautiful-looking dish to me. As was the case with nearly every meal I had in Colombia, it was amazing and it offered a great opportunity to bond over the experience. Kristian won the game, but I was the real winner for having such a special opportunity to learn more about Colombian culture and further build those relationships. 

Nearly every meal this week was a game, an opportunity, a blessing. Yes, this post is about food. But food is never really about food. It’s about connection, experiences, memories, and relationships. Most of us probably won’t be visiting another country this week, but here is my challenge. Next time you have a chance to experience a meal with someone (even your spouse or your children), seize the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and create a unique memory together. You may or may not like the dish you’re served, but those memories, experiences, and relationships will persist for decades!

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¿Por Qué?

One of our Palmful of Coffee team members is named Alejandra, from Colombia. Early 20s, ministry background, trained and formally educated coffee expert, with a deep passion for all things coffee. She is a true scholar of the art and science of coffee production, from the plant to the cup. Her role in Palmful of Coffee is to create, uphold, and maintain standards for the quality, treatment, and execution of the coffee collection process. In other words, she's the primary driver of operational excellence. She and I have spent a lot of time together over the past few days and engaged in many (interpreter-assisted) conversations. Eventually, I noticed a trend. After I would talk, she would respond, "¿Por qué?"

Translated into English: "Why?" I'd share a few more thoughts. "¿Por qué?" again.

I joked with her that I knew "¿Por qué?" was coming. She apologized. I told her that I absolutely love it. Before I could share my perspective on her curiosity, she said that she has a deep desire to understand what's really going on, where people's hearts truly are, and why things are the way they are. I couldn't have said it better myself!

Her "¿Por qué?" question took us from the truth to the truth behind the truth. The why behind the why. The real truth. The reason behind the reason. That one question takes conversations and understandings from surface-level to something much, much deeper. I'm so glad she asked, as she prompted me to share much deeper meaning behind some of my actions. Without her curiosity, I suspect I would have let it remain at a surface level. I gave her the reason, but she wanted the reason behind the reason.

"¿Por qué?" "Why?" Regardless of the language we're speaking, this simple but powerful question has the power to force us to a deeper level. Obviously, this applies to relationships, but it also applies to ourselves. When was the last time we stopped to ask ourselves "Why?" or "¿Por qué?"

What's the reason behind the reason? Why are we REALLY making this decision? Why do we REALLY care about this? What hidden motivations are REALLY at play? If we can go one or two levels deeper with ourselves, as Alejandra did with me, we'd be so much better off. We would quit playing games with ourselves, telling the person in the mirror one thing while actually being guided by something (or someone) different. We'd stop making decisions based on others' opinions and judgments and start making them based on what's truly best for our own callings and families. The reason behind the reason is always the reason. We need to listen to that.

I wish I had half as much wisdom in my early 20s as Alejandra does. Good thing it's never too late! I need to keep asking "¿Por qué?" more often, and I encourage you to do the same. Have a great day!

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Palmful of Coffee

115 years ago, a Christian missionary in the Mizoram region of India asked a simple question that would unknowingly create a ripple effect spanning generations. He recognized that the people in this region were some of the poorest he had ever seen. It was a community in a continual and profound state of need. Scarcity was the norm, and dependency from the outside was a given.

Everyone has something to give, he taught them. "What do you have?" he asked. Rice. While people had very little, most people had rice. Through his teachings, the villagers began to shift their mindset. Instead of dwelling on what they didn't have, people started focusing on what they did have. And in this region, families had rice. The women prepared the meals for their families while the husbands worked the farms. Each time the women prepared a meal, they set aside a handful of rice. Then, on Sunday, the women would bring the rice to church and give it on behalf of their families.

What seemed like an innocent and small gesture turned into a tidal wave. The church used this rice to care for the disabled, widowed, and elderly, as well as fund ministry. Before long, the church grew exponentially. More people jumped into this new way of living, coined Bhufai Tham (Handful of Rice), and it changed everything. They were no longer as dependent upon support from outsiders. They now care for each other like never before, and the number of Christians has exploded. 115 years later, that church is still thriving. Generations of people share the story of how they were raised with the principles of Bhufai Tham.

Four years ago, my friend and mentor, Gary Hoag, stumbled into a conversation with a pastor that would spark an entirely new movement. However, instead of India, it was Malawi, and instead of rice, it was maize. Similar to the folks in northeast India, many people in Malawi live in a perpetual state of need. People are hungry, and there's a strong dependence on the West. Again, Gary echoed the question, "What do you have?" Maize, people had maize. His team, in coordination with collaborators throughout Malawi, launched Palmful of Maize.

A curriculum was developed to teach children in churches and schools about generosity and the principles of giving what they have. Every home has a bag of maize. To apply what they have learned, every child brings a palmful of maize to church on Sunday. To spread the impact, each child is challenged to encourage friends to do it, too. What happens with the maize? 80% is used to care for people (Mercy), 10% to spread the Gospel (Mission), and 10% for the growth of the church (Management). Within months, communities started meeting their own needs. Instead of having a scarcity mindset and living in a state of dependency, the vision has empowered local generous giving.

To give you a sense of the impact, Malawi has about 20 million people, of whom about 9 million are children. In just three years, this curriculum has been directly taught to 1.1 million children throughout the country, with another 2.3 million children being exposed to it. That equates to 1/3 of the children in the country! In just three short years, these principles and practices have already begun to bend the culture of Malawi. Gary and his team made a video to illustrate the impact, and the word spread globally.

Three years ago, on the other side of the world, in Colombia, a woman named Esther heard about it and started praying. She wanted to see a similar vision spread among Colombia's indigenous coffee farmers (producers of some of the best coffee in the world). She and members of Gary's team mapped out a proposal and floated it by a foundation, but it gained no traction. It just sat there, but Esther kept praying.

In January 2025, during a periodic Zoom call, Gary Hoag and I were chatting about faith, work, and family. Knowing I'm strongly tied to coffee, he mentioned this idea in passing and said he would send me some information. A few days later, I received a PDF about the vision, "Palmful of Coffee." Nobody knew this, but I kept that document open on my laptop screen for weeks. Every few days, I'd re-read it. I couldn't shake it. By April, during another one of our periodic Zoom calls, Gary asked me if I had a chance to read the proposal. He shared that the team had come together, but they still needed the resources to bring it to life.

"I'm in!" I blurted out, interrupting Gary's update. I already knew I was called to do this, but I didn't realize until many weeks later that my abrupt "I'm in!" outburst set the wheels in motion for the adventure of a lifetime. I told Gary that if resources were the key roadblock, I would personally ensure they were taken care of. I didn't know how, but if financial resources were the bottleneck preventing Esther's vision from coming to life, I needed to trust God and step into it. Two days later, the initiative was green-lit, and I had a plane ticket to Medellin, Colombia.

Last May, I spent three days with Gary, Esther, and 12 others, including coffee farmers, pastors, and other influential workers representing all three regions of Colombia's coffee triangle. Hour by hour and day by day, the vision came to life. Similar to India and Malawi, we will endeavor to create a give-what-you-have culture amongst Colombia's indigenous coffee farmers. A culturally contextual Sunday School curriculum will be created and slowly rolled out throughout the country, teaching children and families these same principles. Palmfuls of coffee will be collected and used to care for people, spread the Gospel, and grow the church. Or, as one of my indigenous Colombian friends said, "Return dignity to the coffee farmers."

May 2025 - Our team! We spent a day working on a local coffee farm just outside Medellin. It was absolutely beautiful!

As previously mentioned, I personally vouched for the resources: $150,000 over three years (approximately $50,000 per year). This month marks the end of year 1. Investing nearly every ounce of our family’s financial margin in this endeavor for the past 12 months has been one of the greatest challenges and greatest joys in Sarah and my marriage. It's forced us to make difficult decisions and live a very different life. We don't regret any of it, as we are blessed to sow seeds of generational change. The first version of the curriculum has been created and is presently being piloted by a handful of churches in one region of Colombia. I have the distinct honor of attending the final sermon of our new curriculum and the annual coffee harvest celebration in a Colombian village later today and tomorrow.

I've never been more excited about anything in my life. I regularly talk about the idea of pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone and being part of something bigger than ourselves. That's what this represents for me. This is also my invitation to you. Would you partner with us? Would you say "yes" to being part of something bigger than you and me? Are you interested in setting wheels into motion that could have a ripple effect for generations?

If so, would you consider making a financial gift toward this vision? I think it would be amazing for this Daily Meaning community to rally together to achieve something that will transform this world! It will be part of our collective legacy forever.

If you want to get in the game and make a financial gift, you can do so HERE. Gary's organization, Global Trust Partners (registered 501(c)(3)), is facilitating the financial management of Palmful of Coffee, and as such, all gifts are tax-deductible. After you click the link above, just tick the box "Palmful of Coffee Colombia" to designate your gift.

If you want to learn more about Handful of Rice, you can watch a short video HERE.

If you want to learn more about Palmful of Maize, you can watch a short video HERE.

If you have any questions or want more information, please e-mail me at thedailymeaning@gmail.com.

Thanks in advance for your consideration and partnership. This is going to be a beautiful journey together!

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No Clue

A few days ago, one of my business partners asked me for my guidance on an important topic. "No clue," I responded. I wasn't trying to be dismissive, but I literally had no clue. "I have no value to add to this conversation." I wasn't trying to play stupid.....I was stupid. However, I think this is the way we all should handle more things in life.

We aren't - can't - be experts in all things. If we're experts in all things, then we're likely experts in nothing. The reason I'm able to speak with such conviction in xyz areas of life, finances, or business is that I'm equally as willing to admit shortcomings in others. I know what I know, and I don't know what I don't know. The key is being willing and able to recognize what we don't know. And on the topic at hand with my business partners, I had no true value to add.

If we're being pure with this concept, it should apply to all areas of life: business, work, friendships, and even marriage. My wife asks me dozens of questions per day. Either I have a convicted answer for her.....or I don't. "I don't know" is a perfectly acceptable answer, and Sarah has grown accustomed to me shooting her straight, one way or another. Sometimes, she's surprised by the things I say "I don't know" to, and vice versa. But as a husband, I owe it to her to be honest not only with her, but with myself. If she and I collectively don't know the answer to a question, it's our responsibility to seek outside counsel.

Following this process, regardless of the topic, allows us to grow and succeed. The alternative approach can lead to some pretty harsh realities. I can't even fairly convey how many people I meet who live with sincere conviction on all sorts of topics they have no business being convicted about. When that happens, poor, questionable, and dangerous decisions get made. Decisions that have far-reaching and long-lasting implications.

It's a pretty simple takeaway today. Be willing to say "no clue." Have the humility to admit you don't know something, then the added humility to seek out the answer from someone who does. The most successful people I know don't know all the answers; they have the humility and wherewithal to know when they don't.

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….So You Don’t Have To

I ran into a blog reader at a coffee shop yesterday. He said he felt conflicted about my recent post revolving around my preparations to ensure my family is financially cared for if I meet an untimely death. On one hand, he respects the fact that I'm trying to make sure my family is taken care of if/when I’m gone. On the flip side, though, he doesn't like that I "always think about money."

In a lot of ways, I get it. If one of our loved ones passes away, there's a deep and profound pain from the loss. Money doesn't matter. In fact, we'd happily give away every single cent we have if it meant we could bring that person back. But we can't. What's done is done. Then, after the initial shock, pain, and horror of loss starts to subside, the next wave of pain hits us: the financial consequences. The loss of income. The funeral expenses. The medical bills. The unknowns about where the money is, what's owed to who, and what ongoing bills need to be addressed. This is a level of stress that only those who have been through it can properly put into context just how heavy it can be.

Back to my friend's comment about me always thinking about money. I actually don't think about money all that much. I don't advise people to think about money all that much. Instead, I'm an advocate for thinking about the money.....so we don't have to think about the money. We address the needs and elephants in the room before life happens; then we can simply live and enjoy life.

This isn't about obsessing about money. Actually, the opposite. It's putting ourselves in a position that we never have to obsess about money. Think about it. The people who are locked in with their finances generally aren't constantly thinking, talking, or obsessing about money. Conversely, the people who don't take the reins on money are often the ones who are constantly thinking, talking, and obsessing about money.....for all the wrong reasons. It gets stressful. The pressure builds. They can cut the tension with a knife! When we don't think about money to some degree, we eventually land in a place where money is all we can think about.

I don't want you to think about money all the time. Heck, I don't even want you to think about it much at all. But in order to get there, we need to think about it and get it right now.....so you don't have to then.

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If Something Happens

I try not to bring it up to Sarah too often, but sometimes it's necessary. If something terrible happens to me, what are her next steps? This is a relevant topic in our household right now due to some potentially risky travel on my calendar this summer. We don't want to live scared, yet at the same time, we can't live naively.

If something happens to me, Sarah needs to be fully equipped with the information, skills, and game plan to enter that new season of life. Frankly, I hate working on this stuff. It gives me a queasy feeling every time I do. However, it's one of the ways I say "I love you" to Sarah and the boys. I owe it to them to be financially prepared for that outcome. They will already have enough hurt on their plates, so we can at least take the financial piece out of the equation.

Today, I want to share a few important components that I believe all families should work through as part of this process. You know, just in case.....

1. An archive of all online passwords. We use an encrypted password app.

2. Securing adequate life insurance coverage that will effectively replace the deceased spouse's income and allow the family to stay afloat. So many people are underinsured.

3. A list of dollar amounts and institution names for all financial assets (and debts). Checking, savings, investments, etc.

4. A repository of all key physical documents (car titles, property deeds, birth certificates, etc.). In our case, it's a safe deposit box at a bank.

5. A collection of other financial documents/policies, such as life insurance, home/auto insurance, disability insurance, wills, etc.

6. Instructions for how the surviving spouse should attack the situation if something were to happen. Having an established roadmap is a huge step. Here's an example from mine. Step 1: Call the life insurance company. Step 2: Deposit the life insurance proceeds *here*. Step 3: Start taking monthly withdrawals of $x from this pool of money to provide for the family.

7. Bring in a trusted friend or family member who will help the surviving spouse get this sorted. Our loved ones don't need to do it alone! I already notified my person and gave him a heads up.

8. Recommendations for companies that might be good resources to help walk alongside the family to manage some of these financial pieces.

These types of actions aren't the product of paranoia or fear, but rather responsibility and care. I won't be here forever, and while I hope I have many more decades on this planet, I want my family to be okay if it happens too soon. I love them so much.

There's no need to get all morbid about this, but it's worth discussing with your spouse. Make a plan, set it aside, live a meaningful life, and hope you don't have to use it for a long time.

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One Thing We Owe Them

During a recent group conversation, someone said something that surprised me. "My company doesn't pay me enough for me to give my best effort."

I tried not to let my eyeballs pop out of my skull, and assumed others were doing the same. Turns out, I was wrong. Instead, everyone else in the group affirmed this person's perspective. The general consensus was that if a company expects us to work hard, they should pay us more. What does "more" mean? Not sure, but it's more than whatever we're being paid today!

The last time I checked, employment is a two-way agreement. We agree to do our job, and in exchange, the company agrees to compensate us to whatever level agreed upon. Both parties have the freedom to exit the relationship, but there's an inherent understanding.

We don't owe our employers loyalty. We don't owe them our dignity. We don't owe them a boundaryless relationship. We don't owe them the right to abuse us. We don't owe them perpetual employment. But we DO owe them our best work. No matter what we're being paid, we owe the person or entity that pays us our best work in exchange for whatever compensation we've agreed on.

We might not like the compensation structure. That's fair....and valid. We have every right to pursue other opportunities. To go find an employer who will pay us more, treat us better, and/or offer a healthier culture. All of that is great, and I 100% encourage it. However, in the meantime, we still owe them that one thing: Our best work while we're being compensated.

I don't feel like this is a spicy take, but I could be surprised. Let me know. What do you think? Please hit "reply" to this e-mail or drop a comment on the webpage below. We don't owe them much, but I do believe we owe them that one thing. Let's be excellent! Let's honor these relationships.

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Taking It For Granted

A few days ago, I had a question about a project I was working on. It was a question better suited for a conversation than an e-mail or text. As such, I requested a quick meeting. Four hours later, the four of us jumped on a video call to hash through the issue. In 2026, we take for granted just how crazy this is. 25 years ago me would have thought it to be the most insane concept in the world.

One other wrinkle. All four of us were from four different countries in four different time zones. For some of us, it was night, and for others, morning. Again, we live in wild times! With a few clicks on a touch screen, people from all around the world are instantly connected....for free! Again, amazing!!

Yet, we take it for granted. In 2026, this is just called life. Even though I often take it for granted, too, I try to stop and recognize just how special these times are. Sure, modern times present many new, intense, and profound challenges. I never want to gloss over that. At the same time, though, never before have the opportunities been this rich, deep, and wide. We're literally a few clicks from every single person on the planet.

Think about a living person you'd most like to meet one day. Could be a celebrity, or an author, or an entertainer, or a politician, or an entrepreneur. Anyone. Think of that person. Now, think about the reality we're living in, where if you had the courage and gumption, you could essentially reach out to this person today. Send a DM, leave a comment on their post, write them a note, share a story with them, ask for a meeting. Everything is on the table.

I once had a youth group kid who obsessed over a particular music artist. One of the biggest names in the world. His songs were constantly on the radio. Millions of followers. This kid often talked about how he dreamed that one day he could meet this artist. "Why don't you just message him?" I asked. This young man looked at me like I had arms growing out of my ears. That idea was absurd! But I keep pushing him. "Do it!" "Just send the message!" "Quit being scared." "What's the worst that could happen!?!"

Tired of my prodding, he actually did it! About three days later, this massive celebrity responded to him with a thoughtful and contextual message, thanking this young man for listening and reaching out. They've periodically messaged back and forth over the years.

Everything is on the table. Nothing is impossible. That means something different for each of us, but please don't take our opportunities or technologies for granted. Everything is on the table, so we ought to act like it.

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For What?

I received a question from a blog reader after yesterday's post. I don't know this man personally, but based on my handful of e-mail interactions, I respect him a lot. He's very insightful and always brings wisdom to the conversation. I also know by now that his intentions are always honest. Therefore, when he asked me a fairly intense question, I received it with the utmost respect and care.

In short, he asked why I'm so personally interested in my investments. It would appear to be an obvious answer, culturally and financially speaking, but he added some additional context based on my prior content:

• I don't believe in retirement.

• I don't plan to leave my children a large inheritance.

• I believe and practice joyful and sacrificial generosity.

• I'm anti-hoarding

• I don't care to "build wealth."

• Money, stuff, and status don't interest me.

Therefore, his sincere question has so much merit. If all that is true (and I testify that it is), why do I personally care about having investments? He didn't say this, but based on the fact pattern I shared above, it's possible that I'm a liar, a hypocrite, or don't quite follow the principles I teach. Again, this is me saying this (not my friend!). Why, then, do I personally care about investments?

I responded to his message, but after pondering it more, I thought it might make for an interesting blog post. Why do I believe all those things above, yet still have personal investments?

It's a two-part answer:

• A day will come when I'm no longer physically or mentally able to do good work. I hope that time doesn't arrive until my 80s, but it will most certainly arrive at some point. When that happens, I want to ensure we can financially care for ourselves.

• A day might come when I leave this planet before Sarah does. Statistically, men typically die sooner than women. As such, I want to make sure Sarah will be financially cared for after my passing.

Both of these factors lead me to pursue investment assets that can someday achieve one or both of these objectives. Something interesting happens along the way, though, when we perceive retirement investing through this atypical lens. The math looks different, easier. When you won't need retirement funds until later in life, the math says we need to contribute less money for a shorter period of time (since the wonders of compounding have more years to cook).

What that means in my household is that nearly eight years ago, we realized that if we are good stewards and ensure our investments are well managed, we might not need to contribute much more (if any) to meet our two long-term goals stated above. In other words, we're probably going to (eventually) be fine with what we already have invested, so investing more would only serve our own materialism, pride, or selfish endeavors.

Therefore, we made a very odd but definitive decision approximately eight years ago. We will commit to never investing again. No more contributions. No more pushing. No more building. No more more. Enough is enough because enough is enough.

It's a weird journey to follow, and oftentimes difficult given my strong bend toward finance and "winning," but living life with an external focus rewires our souls. It connects us to people unlike anything else I can compare. I'm not necessarily advocating that people try to adopt this way of viewing life, but perhaps it will give you something interesting to ponder today.

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The Line

Yesterday's post drew the ire of many. Well, one excerpt, anyway: "I don't care to sell things that can be shared. Several of these possessions have added value to my life, and now they can add value to someone else's. That's how we're created to live, not peddling our used stuff for cents on the dollar."

That one comment fired up the comment train. I partially saw this coming, as the mere idea of not selling our possessions when parting ways with them is a countercultural approach. Several people applauded this mentality, while many others criticized it. One curious reader asked a really thought-provoking question:

"Where's the line? How far do you take this? At what point would you stop giving something away and sell it instead?"

I haven't thought about this question, specifically, but I do have a very clear answer: a house. For Sarah and me, the line is a house. We will sell a house. Everything below that shall be given away. The last two cars we parted ways with were given, not sold. Well, in the case of Sarah's previous vehicle, the recipient insisted on paying us $500, which we honored. No trade-ins. We have something of value, and it served us well for a season of life. Now, we get to share it with someone else; the cycle continues.

When we sold our four-bedroom house and moved into a small two-bedroom townhome, nearly everything was given away. 2/3 of all our furniture. All the lawn equipment. The patio set. My home office. Most of the decor. Each of those interactions with the excited recipients was a gift. I remember the looks on their faces. The relief in their eyes. The gratitude in their voices. That's worlds better than selling something on Facebook Marketplace for pennies on the dollar.

I get it, this is a weird way to live. It's a stretch. It feels like we're leaving money on the table....because, well, we are. However, it's not about money. It's about carrying a posture of possession, not ownership. I possess objects in my life, but I'm not the ultimate owner. He is. That's what it looks like when we actually live in faith. We are called to give from what we have, and uniquely enough, what we have is what we have. Therefore, give it. Give it freely. Give it joyfully. Give it sacrificially.

I dare you to give it a try. Start small. Find something you value, and give it to someone else. It will mess with you in the best of ways. Then, watch how it changes you.

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Something From Everyone

A young guy recently reached out to me, more than twenty years my junior. He was dealing with some heavy stuff, and he asked me to share insights from my experience with similar trials. In other words, he was looking to get something from me. That's how the conversation started, anyway.

Fast forward nearly an hour, and I ultimately felt like I got just as much (or more) from him than he received from me. What he lacked in age and experience, he made up for in perspective and attitude. I was humbled by his approach to these weighty topics, and I found myself leaning into his words.

I've been thinking about that conversation a lot. It's wild that the words of a young man approximately half my age stuck with me and challenged me to think about things differently. That's a wild concept. In some ways, it reminds me of an extraordinarily intense scene from the movie Good Will Hunting. Matt Damon plays a wily young man who's loaded with potential but rife with emotional baggage and anger issues. Robin Williams plays the role of a seasoned counselor, brought in to shepherd Matt Damon's character along the journey in hopes of a better tomorrow.

In an unexpected twist, the troubled young man unexpectedly unlocked something powerful and beautiful in the wise old man. We can get something from everyone. It doesn't matter who we are or who they are. I think we forget that more times than not. Perhaps we would all be better off if we embrace those conversations as two-way streets rather than narrow one-ways.

Grateful for my young friend.

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Full-Circle

I recently ran into a former youth group kid. I hadn't seen her since high school graduation seven years ago. She's not on social media, so we more or less lost touch over the years. I asked her what she's up to in life. "I'm an XYZ and work at ABC!!!"

I was shocked at her answer, remembering that when she was just 15 years old, she shared with me that her dream was to one day be an XYZ and work at ABC. It's so rare that we grow up and into the career of our dreams. I was extremely curious at this point, so I asked for more info. How did this happen?!?!

That's when she shared something that caught me totally off guard. I'm going to quote her, but please keep in mind it's my best job at paraphrasing since I don't remember her exact words:

"I remember when I was a sophomore, you told me to pursue my calling no matter what other people said I should do. If I am called to do something, I should give it everything I have. So I did!"

Oh, wow. I don't even remember that conversation, but it sounds like something I would say. Then, I asked her if she received pushback along the way. Everyone, including some of her closest friends and family, told her that her dream career was "dumb" and "unrealistic." People called her naive, citing, "Dreams don't pay the bills."

Then, she did it. She shared stories of challenges, doubts, and failures along the way. She often thought about giving up, remembering all the naysayers' comments. But she persevered, and today, she's living her dream.

I hope she shares that story often. There's so much hope, encouragement, and beauty in hearing those types of stories. Those are the types of stories that can propel us in a weak moment. Those are the types of stories that remind us of why we are doing what we're doing, and what's possible when the world says it's not.

One of the best full-circle moments I've had in a while. Proud of my friend and the life she's living. I hope you feel similar about your own journey. If so, props to you for staying true to the calling. If not, today's a great day to get back on the track you know you're meant to be on.

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Getting Back Into His Cage

Note: This is a sensitive story, but fortunately for countless readers, I've been granted permission to share it here.

A man asked to meet with me. Mid-40s. Married. Three children. Above-average household income. Average house. Pretty standard lifestyle: not too bougie, but also not perceived as frugal.

Here's the short version of the situation. He's beyond stressed. Finances are causing tremendous friction in his marriage. His wife wants to stay home with the kids, but they can't make it work. He's embarrassed. He feels like a failure. He's miserable. He hates his job. He wakes up each day dreading what's about to happen. He can't leave, though, as his current income exceeds other known options. His mental health is eroding quickly. Dark thoughts are starting to seep in. His breaking point might be approaching.

As our conversation progressed, I started asking him probing questions to identify the true stress points. For several minutes, nothing he said alarmed me.....all normal stuff. Then, we found it.

"Tell me about the vehicles. Do you have any vehicle debt?"

"My truck payment is around $1,300, and my wife's SUV is $800 per month."

There it is! $2,100 per month on vehicle payments alone. All of this pain, suffering, misery, and struggle, only to boil it down to a few key decisions. I challenged him on these decisions.

"Our vehicles aren't nearly as nice as some of our friends and family."

"I'm a truck guy. I can't help that I like nice trucks."

"I want my wife to be safe. We need something reliable."

I have a rhetorical question for you. Do you believe the three sentiments above merit wrecking one's entire life, marriage, financial structure, and mental health? The answer is a resounding NO!!! Of course it's not, but millions of Americans live in this reality daily.

Everything he and his wife have ever dreamed of lives on the other side of these vehicles. These vehicles are cages! They've been snared in the trap. They unknowingly locked themselves in a life they don't want to live. The cage might not have metal bars, but it might as well. I made my case for a different set of decisions, trying to illuminate what an alternate reality could look like: their dream life. However, it requires them to destroy the cages.

After the meeting, I walked outside with him, shook his hand, and watched him get back into his cage. I gotta admit, it was a pretty sweet truck. Clean, fresh wax, enormous in stature. But a cage, nonetheless.

We all have cages. It might not look like a truck, but it's something. My challenge to you today is to look at yourself in the mirror and identify your cage. Something that is (or could) hold you back from living the life you deserve to live. It's an uncomfortable exercise, and not always as obvious as it seems. I've had my share of cages over the years, and I suspect you do, too.

Smash the cage.

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Of Course She Did!!!!!!!

I received the coolest e-mail from a blog reader yesterday! This is someone I've never met before, and it was the first time she's ever reached out to me. Her message referred to the "Of Course You Did" post that received unprecedented hate and criticism.

This woman said she felt convicted about the post, specifically noting one excerpt from the piece: "Generosity should have no limits. If I walk out of the grocery store with a bunch of food and encounter someone on the way to my car who needs it more than I do, I give it. Period. No questions asked. That's how life ought to be lived. No rules. No exceptions. No buts. No justifications. No excuses. Generosity always wins."

This woman said she always reads the blog in the morning and sometimes finds herself thinking about it as she goes abouther day. Well, on that particular day, she made a routine grocery run, approximately $250 worth of food. As she drove home (with her grocery haul in the trunk), she thought about that morning's post. That's when an idea struck her!

She turned her car around, and instead of driving home, she drove to a friend's house. One of her church friends is a single mom who recently got her hours cut at work. Resources were limited, and the stress was starting to rise. She unexpectedly pulled up to her friend's house, knocked on the door, and delivered her entire grocery haul to a shocked and grateful friend.

Of course she did!

Neither one of those women will ever forget about that moment. Multiple lives were probably changed that day. No, $250 worth of groceries won't singlehandedly change the world, but in a way, it can. Those little moments in time have a way of sticking with people, both receiver and giver. The ripple effects of this exchange might persist for years (or decades!).

We all have a role to play, and that role is to perpetuate a different kind of culture; a culture where everyone gives freely, joyfully, and sacrificially. No rules. No exceptions. No buts. No justifications. No excuses. Generosity always wins.

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Embracing Seasons

This weekend kicked off a new season for my family. On Saturday, the boys had their last practice before their lacrosse games begin. Then, on Sunday morning, they had their first flag football game of the year. Lastly, on Sunday afternoon, they had their first public performance with their new classic punk band at a local watering hole.

It's busier than we prefer, but we're going to embrace the season for what it is. Challenges will most certainly come, but so too will the blessings. I think a lot about life in terms of seasons. Seasons come and go, each presenting its own set of challenges and blessings.

From age 23 through 28, I eagerly engaged in a season of building my career. It was brutally challenging, but oh so fulfilling. I started as a naive kid, and ended up a little less naive and a little less kid.

From age 28 to 32 was the season of paying off our debt. Sarah and I had $236,000 of debt that dictated several of our life decisions, and we were committed to never letting that happen again. It was probably one of the most challenging seasons of our lives, but looking back, one of the most fulfilling (and impactful).

The age 32-38 season was when my career took off in a big way, while we simultaneously worked through the adoption process to begin our family. This is the season where we experienced the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. I spent much time in Asia and the Middle East, so many doors were unlocked for us, we found our people, we lost a son, we were blessed with twin baby boys, and we lost twin baby girls. So much beauty, so much pain.

The age 38-43 season was the most financially challenging season, with our family taking a 90% pay cut for me to start my career over and rebuild a new life.

In the midst of that, the age 41-45 season included the birth and ramp-up of Northern Vessel, which has unexpectedly become one of the greatest joys and blessings of my life. I never saw that coming, but I'm grateful for every bit of it.

As I reflect on each of those seasons, I can't help but think about how much pain, suffering, and turmoil each brought me. At the same time, however, when I embraced each for what it was, while also understanding it would eventually evolve into a different season, I was able to embrace it. I didn't always get it right, but the name of the game always felt like "seize the moment."

Whatever season you're in, whether awesome or painful, always remember three things:

• This season will eventually pass.

• You have the ability to seize it for whatever it is.

• Regardless of the pain, good WILL come from it. You might not see it now, but one day, it will be obvious how much good came from it.

Embrace the season.....every season. It's one of those things that makes life so difficult, but also so beautiful.

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Manhood

I stumbled upon something mind-boggling last night. According to a recent survey, 86% of men say that being a financial provider defines manhood. Just as scary, 77% of women agree. Nearly 9 out of 10 men, and nearly 8 out of 10 women, define manhood by a man's ability to financially provide.

While I 100% agree that one of a man's key roles should be to financially provide, it's most certainly not THE defining factor. Rather, it's A factor. The fact that we use dollar signs to place identity on men isn't news to me, but it's always disheartening.

This cultural pressure and false identity have swept men into a twisted reality where they must pursue more income at all costs. And by all costs, I mean at the expense of their role as husband, father, friend, and community member. We've told men that the only thing that matters is how much money they can bring into the household and the standard of living it can create.

Consequences of such toxic perspectives include rapidly declining mental health, broken marriages, absent parenting, miserable work, poor decisions, and severe health conditions. I'm not sure if you see this, but at scale, men are suffering in silence. They are hurting, but staying quiet. There's a quiet brokennes erupting all around us. I've been watching this unfold for years, and it's escalating.

So, what's the alternative? Completely disregard money and excuse men from their responsibility to financially provide? No way! Yes, let's financially provide for ourselves and our families. At the same time, we need to step up and be the best husband, father, friend, and community member we can be. Those things are tremendously valuable, and shouldn't be overlooked or disregarded.

I think about my friend I wrote about yesterday, who provides for his family in so many ways. His value is not measured in dollars. Yes, he provides financially, but he does so much more (as does his amazing wife). That's what makes them a special couple. It's not about a singular trait or role. They don't pigeonhole themselves into these made-up values or superficial measuring sticks.

Whether man or woman, your value doesn't come from dollar signs. It doesn't come from the house you live in, the car you drive, the school you send your kids to, the destinations of your vacations, the clothes you wear, or the professional titles you carry. You're valuable because you're a child of God....period. You're valuable....period. The rest is just noise.

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When Backwards Is Forward

Several months ago, one of my clients made a counter-cultural move. With small children at home, the husband intentionally took a different job. No, that's not counter-cultural. What's counter-cultural is the fact that he willingly and knowingly took a $10,000 pay cut. We're not talking about someone who makes huge money and then makes huge money minus $10,000. I'm talking about someone who makes a normal income, where there's not a ton of margin each month, who now makes a normal amount of money minus $10,000. See, counter-cultural.

When he walked into the room for our coaching meeting, he seemed light as a feather. He had a little extra pep in his step. He and his wife seemed like their marriage was as good as ever. He looked sincerely happy! However, I had to ask him the question: "Do you ever wonder if you should have stayed at the old job?"

"No, not a single doubt!" he said with a massive grin. I couldn't have loved it more!

Society says he's going backwards, but in the world of meaning over money, that dude just won the jackpot! He's living with so much joy, purpose, and fulfillment. Sure, he's making $10,000 less per year than he was, but that was the best $10,000 he ever spent!

His wife agrees. She also beams when talking about his new job and how it's made their lives better. She's proud of him and so happy that he's living his best life right now. One could say that his decision "hurt" his family, but she would vehemently reject that. They are better than ever, and it's not even close.

I've so often watched friends around me sabotage their lives for an increase in income. They left jobs they loved to take jobs that paid more. Over and over and over, I watch regret set in. Sure, the extra income feels really cool for a while; there's no denying that. However, once the dust settles and that new income just becomes normal, they have to reckon with the reality that they wake up each day with less enthusiasm, excitement, and purpose than they used to. To me, that's tragic.

Don't let our culture convince you that the definition of winning in your career is more income. Sure, there might be more income. More income might be the byproduct of your excellent work. However, more income in and of itself isn't winning. Pursue the meaning. Pursue the purpose. Pursue the life you never want to leave. That's the real definition of winning.

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