…..For Me
Whoa, I really stepped on a landmine with yesterday's post. I received countless e-mails and texts from people about my young friend's "irresponsible" coffee habit. To summarize, I have a young friend who recently gave up her six-times-per-week coffee shop visits. Making this sacrifice saves her $150/month, which sounds great......on the surface. Ultimately, though, she gave up one of the most important things in her life while blindly keeping a $675/month car payment that she couldn't care less about. The entire point of the piece was to suggest that we ought to thoughtfully look at our big rocks before willfully giving up smaller things that matter so much to us.
The hate came rushing in! To summarize at least a dozen people's responses to my article: Going to coffee shops is a waste of money.
That's it. Buying fancy coffee drinks at coffee shops is a terrible use of money. It's reckless, irresponsible, and foolish. There are a million better uses for that money than buying dumb coffee. That's the narrative.
Please allow me to rephrase the response I received from people: "Going to coffee shops is a waste of money.....for me."
The same can be said about countless other things:
Golf is a waste of money......for me.
Fancy restaurants are a waste of money.....for me.
Hunting and fishing equipment is a waste of money.....for me.
Sports and concert tickets are a waste of money.....for me.
Spa treatments are a waste of money.....for me.
Vacations are a waste of money.....for me.
High-end fitness studios are a waste of money.....for me.
I have great news for you today. It doesn't matter what other people think you should do with your money. They have different values than you. They have different priorities than you. They have different beliefs than you. They have different standards than you.
When I look at the list of possible expenditures above, some appear awesome and some are a waste of money.....for me. If you discern the same list, you're going to have different answers.....for you. That's the beauty of pursuing meaning in our lives. It looks different for everyone. As soon as someone tries to tell you what should matter and what shouldn't, they've lost credibility to speak into your decision-making.
I don't care what expenditures you value and which ones you don't. My biggest care is that you know what's important to you, pursue it aggressively, and know what's not important to you, and avoid it just as aggressively. Whether you love or hate coffee, act accordingly. Whether you love or hate vacations, act accordingly. Whether you love or hate ____, act accordingly. That's where the rubber meets the road in finding more meaning in our money. Please don't fall for the trap of living other people's values. Your values are awesome enough.
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