My Time vs. Their Time

I had an epiphany shortly after hiring my first assistant. Her name is Paige, and she's pretty awesome. If I remember correctly, she was only 19 years old at the time, but I always perceived her as far wiser than her age. When it came time for me to pay her after the first month, I asked her to submit her hours. I reviewed her log and felt thoroughly confused. "Paige, I don't think you gave me all your hours."

She confirmed that, yes, all hours were included. When I shared that it felt like she did far more work than that, she gave me the most Paige response ever: "It just takes you three times as long to do these tasks as it does me."

Ouch! But she was right! My objective in hiring Paige was to offload the tasks that I hate and/or suck at. Turns out, those tasks fell in line with what she enjoyed and was good at. Thus, she was far more efficient than I could ever dream of being. She consistently performed tasks at roughly 1/3 the time it would have taken me.

This is where my epiphany came in. The hourly rate I was paying her was more about my time than her time. For example, let's say I was paying Paige $30/hour. While that was the sticker price for her time, the real cost for Paige's services was $10/hour of my time. If I paid her $30 for one hour of her time that would have taken me three hours to perform, I was only paying $10/hour for the time I was buying back.

This line of thinking is applied to every aspect of my life. I don't care what the total cost or cost per hour for a service is. Instead, I ask myself how much it costs in relation to my time. Oil changes are a good example. I could easily change the oil in my car and save a bunch of money. However, by the time I buy oil and filters, successfully (eventually) drive my car up the ramps, empty the oil, change the filter, pour in the new oil, check the oil level, and finish topping it off, the actual cost savings per hour of my time is very low. Translation: That expensive oil change service is extremely cheap.

Just think of the possibilities with this concept. How many decisions would you make differently if you framed them through this lens? Plumbing, carpentry, electrical, landscaping, mechanical work, cleaning, laundry......the list could go on forever. Now, I'm not suggesting we should contract out every single task in our lives. Rather, I encourage you to look at your own personal situation through the lens of how much something costs/saves per hour of YOUR time, and see where the chips fall.

Warning: This way of thinking might just change everything.

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They’re All Right

Everyone around me is having babies: former youth group kids, clients, and people on my team. Given my station in life as someone who discusses all things money, I'm repeatedly asked the same question: "How much do kids cost?"

During one such conversation, my young friend said she's heard all sorts of anecdotes about how much it costs to raise children. Some people told her it costs very little, while others say it costs an arm and a leg. My response: "They're all right."

If someone thinks it costs little to raise kids, it will.

If someone thinks it costs a ton to raise kids, it will.

Kids cost what we decide to spend on them.

Raising kids is like spending a long weekend in Las Vegas. It's possible to do it affordably, and it's possible to spend a million dollars. The choice is yours.

I've worked with hundreds of families, and I have a few children of my own. You wouldn't believe the level of cost variability families experience when raising children. Even with children raised in the same city, the differences are stark.

For example, I know a family that spends $5,000-$7,000/month on their children. They would testify this is simply the cost of raising kids. I know another family that spends $200/month on their children. This couple would testify that their kids have more than enough. Kids cost what we spend on them.

In our household, we have two categories for our kids in the budget. First, "Kids." This includes anything explicitly spent for them: clothes, babysitting, fun outings, chore wages, furnishings, etc. It's a catch-all for all things kids. The second category, introduced in second grade, is "Kids Activities." This is a sinking fund that gets funded each month to be used for their lumpy activities: rock band, basketball, football, camps, etc.

The Kids category has ranged from $300-$700/month. It started at $700 for diapers and formula for newborn twins, then down, and is now back up to $400 per month. The Kids Activities category is a constant $600/month. Both of these categories are intentional, conscious, and negotiated choices between Sarah and me. We aren't victims. We are the authors. If we don't like it, we change it.

There are a million variables related to raising children, each with its own cost structure. As parents, it's not our job to say "yes" to any and every opportunity to spend money. Just because someone wants something, it doesn't mean we're required to oblige. I'd argue what's best for our children is to learn boundaries, embrace contentment, and for their parents NOT to be weighed down by massive levels of financial stress and pressure (caused, in part, by the obscene amount they are spending on their children). I've watched parents divorce due to the financial tension that was partially caused by them trying to "be good parents" by saying yes to everything their children want. It's sad.

Kids cost what we spend on them, so we might as well be intentional. If we don't decide what to spend, society will do it for us.

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Steaks Have a Price?

Yesterday's post set off quite the unexpected storm of commentary: steak, steak, and more steak. Steaks weren't the main point of that post, but it hit home for many. To summarize, I was trying to make the point that our personal opinions of what something should cost mean nothing. Instead, the herd determines market value, and it's our individual responsibility to decide if we accept said price.....or not. Everything else is just noise.

Yesterday's comments can be placed into one of two camps. First, about a half-dozen people shared they, too, struggle to pull the trigger on nice cuts of meat.

• "Too rich for my blood."

• "I need to stick with chicken breast and hamburger right now."

• "It's not worth it."

• "Maybe if the prices eventually fall."

This group of people is price-sensitive to the cost of steaks. They would like to buy steak, but when they look at it through their own personal lens, they don't see enough value for the cost.

The second camp is on the polar opposite side of the discussion. In their opinion, no cost is too much for a good piece of meat:

• "There's always room in the budget for steak."

• "It's a luxury I'm not willing to give up."

• "Nobody better touch my steaks!"

• "Steaks have a price?"

Then, there's one other guy. I ran into a man at a local retailer yesterday, and he was excited to see me. He is an admitted cheapskate. He compares fuel prices at various gas stations and picks the cheapest pumps. He only buys generic brands. He only spends "25 bucks, max" on pants. He rarely goes out to eat. My point: he's frugal. Here's what he said about steaks: "I eat 1-2 steaks per week, and I NEVER look at the price. I find a steak I want to eat.....and I buy it. I refuse to look at the price. It's one of my small joys in life."

In a fun way, this steak conversation perfectly illustrates my broader point. We're all different. We each have a complex set of values, perspectives, and characteristics. And yes, these values, perspectives, and characteristics funnel into our relationship with money. The price of a steak is the price of a steak. However, what we do with that information is dramatically different for each of us. It doesn't matter what the actual cost to produce a steak is, or what we think it shouldcost. The herd decides the price, and we individually need to react accordingly.

Now, take out the word "steak" and replace it with literally any other item in our life. A coffee, a MacBook, a house, a pair of Nike's, a new Honda Accord, a house cleaner, or my financial coaching services, to name a few. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks these things are worth because you're not them. Instead, our job is to block out all the noise around us, accept the price of something for what it is, and decide if the value of said item (to us) exceeds the price we would pay.

So simple, yet so challenging to execute. However, if we can lock in on this idea and do it well, it makes our lives so much richer.

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The Market Value of Water

Social media is abuzz right now after leaked documents show a particular pair of Nike shoes costs $16/pair to manufacture, including all materials and labor. The selling price for said shoe? $180/pair. That's an 11x markup, or stated in terms of gross margins, 91% gross margin.

"They are screwing us!" shouted one commenter. Another irate Nike fan exclaimed, "Now we know they aren't worth near $180!"

Question: What is the correct market value of this pair of Nike's? What's the proper price that should be charged?

Answer: Whatever people are willing to pay.

How much these shoes cost to manufacture means absolutely nothing when it comes time to set a selling price. The actual market value of the shoes is solely determined by how much money people are willing to spend on them.

Let's go simpler. What is the market value of a bottle of water? The question is too vague; it needs more context.

What is the value of a bottle of water attained in your home? $0. Fresh, clean water is prevalent in nearly every home in modern America. Nobody would pay a dime for a bottle of water in their home.

What is the value of a bottle of water purchased at a gas station? As low as $1. Options are prevalent, and consumers have walk-away power.

What is the value of a bottle of water purchased outside a major sporting event? Probably $2-$3. There aren't as many options as in a gas station, but consumers still have walk-away power.

What is the value of a bottle of water purchased inside a major sporting event? Probably $5-$6. You are a captive audience and have limited walk-away power. Either you want water, or you don't. You can fork over the $5-$6 or go thirsty.

See the crazy dynamics of these relationships? The exact same water can range from $0 to $6, depending on context. Context always matters! Nearly every product on earth can and should be viewed through this lens. Its market value is not based on what it costs to make or what it "should" cost (in the eyes of particular people). Instead, the market value is whatever people are willing to pay.

Sure, our individual opinions matter in terms of our own personal go/no-go decisions, but our individual opinions have zero bearing on the market value of xyz item. The crowd determines the price, not us individually. I frequently talk to my favorite meat dealer friend, Teresa, about this. The price of steaks is bonkers right now. I have a hard time personally justifying them often. However, my opinion matters none, as the broader crowd has decided they are eagerly willing to pay far more for nice cuts of meat. That doesn't make the crowd wrong, or me right. It just is.

On the flip side, I will bring Teresa wheelbarrows of money for her awesome ground beef, beef patties, marrow bones, beef sticks, and sourdough loaves. They aren't necessarily cheap, either, but they are wonderful and I'm willing to pay the piper because they add much value to my family's life. We love it!

Life is so much simpler when we frame everything through the lens of cost vs. value......to us. It's worth it to me because _____. It's not worth it to me because _____. Keep it simple, and know what the value of something is to YOU.

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Bohemian Rhapsody and Umbrellas

"Dad, can you take me to buy an umbrella?"

"Uh, sure, Finn, we can do that. Why do you want an umbrella?"

"Every man needs an umbrella."

I didn't have a comeback for that, but if the little man wants an umbrella, I'll take him to buy an umbrella. This is what I call closing the loop. First, we work. The work results in money. Part of the money is given. Some of the money is spent. Repeat. Work = money = generosity/spending.

So, if Finny wants to spend some of his money on an umbrella, that's how we're going to close this loop. Truthfully, he's worked hard this summer. Lots of mowing and other odd jobs. Hot, sweaty, sucky jobs. He doesn't always love the work, but he appreciates what it stands for.

So, when ol' Finn wants to jump in the car and go to the umbrella store, we ride! He was so proud of his new umbrella, but as we walked out of the store, he asked another question. "Is there anywhere I can buy a Queen CD?" Yes, an 8-year-old wanted to buy a 70s album.......in CD form. As a matter of fact, I did know a place where we could potentially score a Queen CD. Fifteen minutes later, we were rocking out to some Bohemian Rhapsody.

Closing the loop is so important, and on that day, Finn closed the loop in style!

Work = money = generosity/spending.

Work = money = generosity/spending.

Work = money = generosity/spending.

And the repetition continues.

Parents, keep at it. It won't always go perfectly (I'll talk about Pax another day....). Some loops will be effective, and some will flop. Some loops will be rewarding, and some will be a drag. But the loops matter, and the kids are learning (even when it doesn't seem like it).

Go create some loops with your kids today!

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A Dollar For a Dollar

One of my clients confessed to me that one of their budget spending categories adds almost zero value to their life. I'm not even going to share which category it is, as it's not important.....use your imagination.

Why, then, do they even spend money on x category? There's no real rhyme or reason other than they've always spent money on it, and everyone else does, too. When I pressed them on why they continue to spend this money even though it adds little to no value to their lives, they responded, "Well, it's not much money, so why does it matter?"

It's true. We're not talking about a ton of money here. Maybe $50 per month. However, there's a broader implication here. The problem isn't that they are spending $50 on this particular category. The problem is that every dollar we spend on one thing is a dollar we don't get to spend on something else. That's when I flipped the script on them. "If you could add $50 to any category in your budget, what would it be?"

Both of their eyes lit up. One immediately shouted, "Personal spending!" The other rebutted, "Travel or dining out."

See the difference? They had zero emotional energy when discussing this random $50 spent on a lame category in their budget, but when we looked at it through the lens of a dollar for a dollar, they lit up. This is the real friction of opportunity cost.

I spent many hours per week helping families recognize the true opportunity cost in their financial lives. It's wild how many of us mis-spend our money on something that matters not, when there are so many other uses that would move the emotional needle for us.

Maybe it is only $50, or $100, or even $10. If you're spending money on something that doesn't matter to you, reframe it through the lens of what you could be doing with it that would matter. Then, do it!

Here's my challenge for you today. Find some amount of money in your monthly spending that's not adding much (or any) value to your life. Then, rip it away from that lame category and repurpose it into a better category that you actually care about. Sure, it might not change your financial world, but it will absolutely move the needle in more ways than one.

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Driving Your (or Their) Future

We're sticking on the topic of cars again today, courtesy of an e-mail I received from blog reader Randy. Specifically, Randy pointed out how these modern-day mortgage-sized vehicle payments aren't just a curse to our month-to-month finances, but their impacts compound over time. He's so, so right about that, and his observation reminds me of a story from a few months ago.

I'll set the stage. I was meeting with a 30-year-old couple. They make a good income and live a normal life, but they have an issue. There's not enough margin in their monthly budget to save for retirement. In short, they are fearful that they won't have enough money to retire one day.

Upon reviewing their budget, I confirmed they don't, in fact, have much margin in their month-to-month cashflow. I also confirmed they have zero saved for retirement. Oh yeah, and one other fact: The husband's monthly vehicle payment was approximately $1,200. Curious, I asked them about this glaring number in their budget. The husband told me they've had a vehicle payment in this range since getting married five years ago.....but they can "easily afford it." By the way, this doesn't include the wife's car payment.

I'll summarize:

• A $1,200 vehicle payment is normal to them, as evidenced by having one for at least five years (spanning three different vehicles).

• Their $1,200 vehicle payment is "easily affordable."

• They live month-to-month.

• To date, they haven't had enough margin to save for retirement.

This situation isn't isolated to this couple. Without even realizing it, millions of Americans are putting themselves in a similar situation. To create urgency, I shared a visual with them. What if they stopped the vehicle payment cycle by selling this vehicle, purchasing an affordable vehicle with cash, and began investing that $1,200/month payment?

Here's the math. If this couple invests $1,200/month from age 30 to age 65 and does absolutely nothing else investing-wise, they would end up with approximately $3.5M by age 65. How much work would this require? 10 minutes to set up an investment account and automate it. Then, nothing. Zero work. Zero effort. Zero brain damage. They could lose their login credentials and come back 35 years later to find $3.5M chillin' in their account. Yes, it's that simple. Compounding.

What if instead of investing, we were talking about the compounding impact of generosity? My kids recently participated in a day of service to prepare packages for Meals From the Heartland. This ministry packages and distributes meals all over the world, feeding millions of hungry people. Each serving costs approximately $0.29. $1,200 invested in this initiative would fund 4,100 meals in a single month. Looking at the bigger picture, that's 49,200 meals per year! From age 30 to 65, that's 1.7 MILLION meals. Nearly 2 million meals!!! How many lives is that?!?! You could literally change the world! Compounding.

But yeah, that truck is pretty sweet! It's got heated seats, fancy cameras, a massive engine, and turns all the heads while sitting at the stoplight. People will surely know you're successful now!

Decisions compound. Choose wisely.

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Anatomy of a Midlife Crisis

After writing about my 2006 350Z here, here, and here, one of our daily readers recently requested an update. In short, how am I enjoying my midlife crisis after one year?

The term midlife crisis is officially defined as "A period of intense self-doubt and questioning that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically between 40 and 60 years old. It's often characterized by feelings of dissatisfaction with one's life, a desire for change, and a sense of nostalgia or a longing to recapture youth."

First, I think the term midlife crisis is silly. I used to believe the hype, but I've come to understand something. "Midlife crises," if done well and for the right reasons, are anything but crises. In fact, they are the opposite. As I've watched them play out in other people's lives, and in my own, there's no "crisis" in play. Rather, it's a form of ultra-delayed gratification by responsibly purchasing something many years down the road instead of impulsively and destructively making a similar decision at a younger age. In my case, 17 years after I initially wanted to (and almost did) purchase it. This delayed gratification turned the same decision from a potentially destructive force in my life to a mere footnote.

With that context in mind, I want to share a reflection on the first year of owning my "midlife crisis." First, yes, it's been amazing. My family and I have created so many memories with it, and it adds a lot of value to my day-to-day. Here's what the first year cost for all that richness:

• Purchase Price: $9,000

• Tax and Tags: $605

• Repairs: $789

• Tows: $220 (which led to the above repairs!)

• Insurance: $816 ($68/month)

• Winter Storage: $500

So, after my initial purchase, I spent a total of $2,930 during the first year. In other words, it feels like the steal of the century. I've had a lot of people question and criticize the purchase, but in my mind, it was the biggest no-brainer imaginable. Luckily, I don't care too much what other people think. Otherwise, I'd spend my time, and a whole lot more money, doing far more ridiculous things that I don't even care about.

Here's my message today. Do what adds value to your life. Forget what other people think, expect, or say. If something will add tons of value to your life, amazing. Also, don't forget that you don't have to break the bank or damage your finances to do cool things. Get creative, have fun, and carve your own path.

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More Trapped Than Ever

I recently had the opportunity to meet up with an old friend. This friendship goes way back to our business school days. I remember our last semester of college when we each received offer letters from two different companies for the same dollar amount: $42,000 per year. I remember how we went out for a drink to celebrate. $42,000?!?! We thought we struck gold. Fast forward a few months, we were both working our respective jobs, and it did, in fact, feel like we struck gold. That felt like so much money to us formerly broke college kids.

20 years have passed since that moment. Today, we're a lot less single, our families have grown, and our black hair is a bit more gray. You know what else has changed? His income. In a recent conversation, he shared that his household income now exceeds $500,000 per year. A half million dollars! That's a far cry from the $42,000 he started making.

Here's where the story gets, er, "good." Knowing what I do for a living, he had a direct question for me (and graciously asked if I would write about it). While he's grateful for his current income, he and his wife struggle to make ends meet with this income. You heard that correctly. $500,000 per year doesn't seem like enough income to care for his family.

Let me re-frame this conversation. He once felt rich making $42,000 per year. Now, making $500,000 per year, he feels broke. Yes, inflation plays a role, but not as much as you'd think. Looking at historical inflation calculator, $42,000 in 2005 is worth approximately $69,000 today. $69,000 is still a mile away from $500,000. Well, it must be the fact he's married with kids. Sure, that plays a role, but an extra adult and a few small humans don't fill a $431,000 per year hole. What else could it be......?

I pointed out a few observations about his current life, such as:

• The mini-mansion he lives in.

• The three high-end cars in his garage (financed, of course).

• The country club he belongs to.

• The infinite spending on dining and entertainment.

• Countless extravagant trips (which get plastered onto social media)

• The massive pool in his backyard.

• The lake house.

• The two boats at said lake house.

His response: "Yeah, we're living our dream life! We have everything we've always wanted."

And yet, he's more trapped than ever. This is the American dream, turned nightmare. This is the path so many people are on. It feels good. It provides adrenaline. Dopamine flows like a river. It seems like a trophy collection of success. But at the end of the day, we're building our own cage, bar by bar.

You might think, "This guy sounds like a real idiot!" The truth is, he's absolutely brilliant. He's a respected leader, a pioneer of sorts. He's accomplished things many may never dream of. Unfortunately, though, he's cursed by being a human. We humans are flawed beings, and materialism is one of those many flaws. He found the world's way early in life, latched on, and never let go.

His mission, if he chooses to accept it, is to get out of the cage he's trapped in. Do you need a similar mission?

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More Hunting, More Fishing

I'm not a big hunter or fisherman. It's never really been my thing, but living in the Midwest, it is for many of my friends. This is where today's story begins.

When I met with a newish client, heaviness was hanging in the air. You could cut the tension with a knife. Eventually, though, I couldn't let it linger any longer. Then, it came out. The husband was frustrated that they didn't have the resources for him to be more active with his passions: hunting and fishing. And by resources, I mean money and time.

I tried to play it cool, but I knew exactly where that conversation needed to go. In short, it wasn't that this couple lacked resources. Instead, they were allocating their resources to things that didn't matter to them. In a matter of minutes, I pointed to more than $2,200/month of expenditures that didn't seem consistent with who I knew them to be. Just one of those expenses was a $1,600/month truck payment. $1,600!!!

He didn't actually seem to care much about his truck, yet he was willfully paying what's practically a mortgage payment for the privilege of having it. He was initially defensive when I pointed out his behavioral misalignment. His words said he cared about a certain set of values, but his budget said he cared about a different set of values. Eventually, though, he saw it!

Very few of these expenses actually mattered to them, but these costs were absorbing a good chunk of their financial margin (making it feel impossible for him to invest in hunting and fishing). Not only that, but the husband would regularly work overtime to make enough income to pay all the bills.....thereby reducing the amount of time even available to invest in hunting and fishing.

With the wave of their magic wand (i.e., humility), they quickly unwound several of their financial commitments, including selling the truck with the ridiculous payment. Almost overnight, they were able to invest their time and money into things that actually mattered to them.....including the husband's love of hunting and fishing.

Always, always, always spend YOUR values. Please don't care what anyone else is doing. Find out what matters most to you, lean hard into that, and ignore all the other noise. Life is so much more fulfilling when we focus our resources where they matter most.

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Excellence Is All Around Us

Do you know how much time, money, and energy we spend on businesses and people who are anti-excellent? Too much, too much, and too much. It's not that we don't appreciate excellence, but rather, we seem to be obsessed with this notion of "supporting" businesses and people out of a twisted sense of pity, guilt, and obligation.

There's an irony in our behavior. While we're busy tolerating mediocrity (or worse), excellence is all around us. It would be one thing if all there were were subpar businesses and people. Luckily, though, that's not the case. Wherever you reside, excellence is all around you!

In just the past few days, I had lunch at a killer pizza joint (excellence!), spent time with an amazing educator who is finding new ways to drive impact with teens (excellence!), purchased 30 pounds of high-quality meat from my favorite meat market (excellence!), spent several hours with our Northern Vessel baristas (excellence!), had a date night at the newly crowned "best brewpub in America" (excellence!), got a haircut by my always amazing barber (excellence!), picked up a few new reads at my favorite little bookstore (excellence!), and watched my kids be instructed by their rock band teacher (excellence!).

I could have easily spent my time, energy, and money "supporting" other businesses, but to what end? To encourage mediocrity? To artificially prop up someone who hasn't earned it?

Here's how I look at it. We only have so much money, time, and energy to go around. Every dollar, hour, and calorie we spend on one thing is a dollar, hour, and calorie we don't get to spend on another. If that's true, then we each have a series of critical choices before us each day.

I'm not asking you to choose winners and punish losers. I'm merely suggesting we should expect excellence, encourage excellence, demand excellence, receive excellence, and reward excellence. Doing so has a powerful impact on the world around us. It forces businesses and organizations to either become more excellent, or fizzle out. It's simple. It's profound. It's impactful.

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No Free Lunch

Sarah and I are considering a decision that would increase our monthly expense load. It's a want - absolutely not necessary - but it may add a ton of value to our family's life.

"But what are we going to give up?" I asked Sarah. In a vacuum, this decision is a no-brainer for us. Unfortunately, though, we don't live in vacuums. We live in the real world where you can't just magically increase your expenses and have no consequences. And no, "We'll just make more money" isn't an acceptable answer.

If we add a meaningful expense, what are we willing to sacrifice to make it happen? Sarah had some suggestions:

• Cut personal spending

• Reduce travel fund contributions

• Cut back on our kids budget

• Scale back dining out

Something has to go, and it's probably going to be something that matters to us. That's how this money stuff works. Every decision requires a counter-decision. We can have fun things, but we can't have all the fun things.

I firmly believe most families would make drastically different decisions if they embraced this concept. If we live a life where we just add, add, add, and add, that's called delusion. It's also the gateway to a disastrous inflection point at somepoint in the near future. It WILL catch up with us one way or another. We'll either end up deeply in debt, completely lacking the resources for a dignified retirement, rob us of our freedom, or cost us what we want most.

This is peak personal responsibility. This is where the rubber meets the road. Yes, make decisions that lead to cooloutcomes. Yes, give yourself the freedom to invest in memories and experiences. But whenever you do, be willing to have the hard conversation about what you're willing to give up to make it happen. There's no free lunch, and that's a good thing!

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One Sec, Gotta Make My Monthly Burrito Payment

A few days ago, it was announced that Klarna will soon be partnering with DoorDash, offering DoorDash customers the option to spread the expense of their food order over four monthly payments. Yes, you heard that correctly. You'll soon be able to use debt to buy your delivered Chipotle burrito. Don't feel like forking over $20 to fill your belly from the comfort of your own home? That's okay! You can still get your tasty treats for just four easy payments of $4.99.

Seems absurd, doesn't it? Well, that's one way to look at it. The reality, though, is that people have been using debt to pay for their burritos for years. Considering the average household in America carries a $9,000+ credit card balance, we effectively are using debt to fund our cravings. After all, most people are using credit cards for most purchases, and every dollar spent on a tasty treat is one less dollar paid off. It's a continuous cycle, but we mask it by churning charges and payments each month, a never-ending cycle.

While DoorDash offering monthly payments for food purchases seems insane, it's a natural next step for the collective journey we've been on. Debt is not only culturally accepted, but encouraged. From a young age, we're told that using debt is not just okay, but inevitable. It puts a magic wand in the hands of a group of people obsessed with instant gratification.

Want a new car? Wave the wand and sign the papers.

Want a trip to Disney? Wave the wand and swipe the card.

Want a new wardrobe? Wave the wand and sign up for that store card.

And now, want an Arby's roast beef sandwich and curly fries (IYKYK)? Wave the wand and choose payments.

It's that easy! But it shouldn't be. I yearn for a world where we have to think about our decisions, plan for our decisions, and sacrifice for our decisions. A world in which we don't systematically sabotage our own futures at the hands of our impatience and temptations. A world where people will live with margin, freedom, and options. A world where proactivity trumps reactivity.

Will you help me create that world? I don't have the power to bend the culture by myself, but together, collectively, we do!

In the meantime, I'm gonna go get me a Taco Bell Luxe Cravings Box.....and actually pay for it out of my bank account.

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Your Permission Slip

If you ever want to get a zoomed-in look at our modern-day societal depravity, pull up a Dave Ramsey clip on social media and read the comments. Now, I'm no fan of Dave Ramsey, and I'm often critical of pieces of his advice, but the level of vitriol and anger toward his social posts are hard to watch.

Example. I recently stumbled upon a clip where a woman was talking to Dave about getting out of debt. Dave's very clear advice was that this woman and her husband desperately needed to sell their expensive vehicles (paired with expensive payments), buy a few $10,000 cars with cash, and use their newfound monthly margin to aggressively pay off the remaining debt. As someone who does this for a living, I affirm this advice based on the information given by this woman. In all reality, the only rational path out of this debt mess is to humbly sell the fancy vehicles, even more humbly purchase inferior vehicles, and use this significant reset moment as an opportunity to get right with their money.

The commenters disagreed, and right on cue, they offered the angriest of angry responses. In short, most of the feedback revolved around the idea that you can't even find junkers for $10,000. $10,000 will buy a piece of trash car that will leave you stranded in the middle of nowhere any and every day. Translation: a $10,000 vehicle is an absolute pile of crap.

Confession: My family owns three cars, each valued at less than $10,000. They are quality vehicles. They run well. They are reliable. They get the job done. They take us from point A to point B.

No, they aren't fancy. No, they don't have the latest technology. No, they aren't under warranty. No, they won't be issue-free. No, they won't be the coolest car in any parking lot. No, they aren't sexy (well, the 350Z is 19-years-old sports car sexy!).

More importantly, they fit within our budget, provide financial margin, and allow us to spend our money on things that add far more value to our lives. We haven't had a car payment in 16 years, and will never again. We'd rather walk 15 miles, uphill both ways, in a torrential storm, than ever have a car payment again. Thus, we won't.

At the same time, our culture is pushing people into toxic vehicle purchase decisions that are deeply crippling their lives. Parents are doing it to their kids. Neighbors are doing it to their neighbors. Co-workers are doing it to their co-workers. Social media is doing it to all of us. It's everywhere.

Therefore, today, I'm giving you a permission slip. I'm not sure you need it, but today I am giving you permission to drive a vehicle you can afford. Yes, you can live a happy, meaningful, and fulfilling life while driving an affordable vehicle. You don't need to sabotage everything you hold dear in exchange for driving an expensive vehicle. It's not worth it. Please believe that. It's not worth it.

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But Not All the Fun Things

One of my favorite things is receiving random voice memos from Meaning Over Money co-founder Cole Netten. Cole is known for sending long rants that offer a combination of podcast ideas, requests for guidance, or just a general release valve to the madness of our culture around money.

Yesterday's voice memo was a podcast idea. He doesn't know it yet, but it triggered the opposite content idea than originally intended. He highlighted how I often say that it's not the coffee (or other small purchases) that's killing people. Rather, we're burying our financial lives through a handful of key massive decisions. Yesterday's voice memo was to point out (and rant about) how the price of coffee shop coffee is getting so ridiculous that maybe the coffees ARE killing people. Considering I own a coffee company, I was deeply offended by his remarks (haha!!).

He does make a great point; coffees aren't cheap these days! It's not uncommon for people to drop $6-$9 on a single coffee drink. That's the new normal. However, I think it does the topic a disservice when we look at the price of a single transaction in our day and scapegoat it as THE reason we face financial tension.

We can (and should) have fun things, but we can't have ALL the fun things. The coffee alone isn't killing us. We can choose to have the coffee. The clothes alone aren't killing us. We can choose to have the clothes. The problem arises when we decide we want ALL the fun things.

I just had this conversation with a client the other day (and I appreciate them for allowing me to share this on the blog!). One spouse blamed the other spouse for the Starbucks runs killing them. The other spouse accused the first spouse of gas station snack pit stops as the financial culprit. The truth is, neither of those things is what's killing them. Their problem is they are trying to have ALL the fun things, including:

• Daily coffees

• Daily gas station snack runs

• Lots of clothes

• Drinks with friends

• Frequent dining out

• Weekly massages

• Monthly botox

• Frequent phone upgrades

• Country club membership

• 3-4 sports/activities for each kid

• High-end haircuts

• Continuous gun purchases

It's death by a thousand cuts. There's nothing wrong with any of these items IF they add value to their life and are consistent with their values. But for some reason, they've decided they deserve ALL the fun things....and it's crushing their finances (and their marriage).

Where does contentment come into the picture? What about saving/investing? Giving isn't even on the radar. Humility is desperately needed. It's an arms race of more, an unwinnable battle. They are in the thick of it; one day, they will likely wake up and face the harsh consequences of their decisions.

It's okay to enjoy that coffee, or that meal, or that massage. None of these items, in a vacuum, will kill you. You can have fun things. But you can't have ALL the fun things. Discernment is a powerful tool. I hope you feel confident in yours this week.

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Cost, Value, and Your Gut

I've eaten $10 meals that were absolute ripoffs.

I've eaten $300 meals that were bargains.

I've worn $30 jeans that were absolute ripoffs.

I've worn $150 jeans that were bargains.

I've recently beaten the drum of the importance of looking through the lens of value. Not value as in cheap, but value as in something is worth more than we pay for it. Several readers have asked how one would discern if something adds more value than it costs.

Here's my short answer: It's in your gut. You know when you know, and it's highly subjective. For example, that $300/person meal I referenced above was one of the most amazing things I've ever experienced (and I'd do it again in a heartbeat). However, some of you might feel very little value for restaurant experiences and would rather jump off a cliff than spend $300 for a single meal. That doesn't make you right/wrong or me right/wrong.....it makes us different.

As such, we each need to view our decisions and prospective decisions through our own unique lens. There's a gut feel to this cost vs. value tension. My financial coaching service is another great example. I once had a prospective client leave a consultation saying my pricing was the biggest ripoff in the world. One hour later, another prospective client said the exact same pricing structure seemed like a steal of a deal. One wasn't right, and the other wrong; they just had different lenses.

There's no mathematical formula to determine if something adds more value than it costs. So many factors are involved, some of which are intrinsic. There's value seen, and value felt. Value you can quantify, and value you can't. Value you can compare to alternatives, and value that stands on its own.

My encouragement is to always use YOUR gut. Look at your life and your prospective decisions through your unique lens. You won't always get it right. You will sometimes regret a purchase decision because it failed to meet your perceived value. That's ok; we live and learn. Every whiff will help you get better for the next decision. Enjoy the journey!

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I See Dead People

"I see dead people." The plot twist of plot twists. Do you remember the moment you got to the end of The Sixth Sense and that little boy rocked your world? I won't spoil it if you haven't seen the movie yet, as it's only been out for 26 years now.....I don't freely reveal spoilers until year 30!

Today's post is my plot twist! My favorite moment yesterday was seeing all the feedback from yesterday's post. It caused quite a stir, and not in the most positive ways. In short, I challenged people to take their $10/day of wants spending and use it to add the most value possible to their lives.

The responses were right in line with what I anticipated:

• "That's far too much money!"

• "That's a lot of money over the course of a year."

• "Sounds materialistic."

• "How about we just be responsible?"

• "You're telling people to waste money."

• "Why would you tell people to spend so much?"

I knew my post would generate such a response, as the idea of spending $10/day on wants may feel over the top. After all, that's $10 today, tomorrow, the next day, for weeks, for months, for years. I think most would agree that this idea sounds excessive. I intentionally framed it through the lens of $10 per day because it psychologically triggers something in us. $10 per day on wants sounds aggressive...perhaps over the top.

Here's my "I see dead people" plot twist. This was the setup for today's post. Most people spend far, far more than $10/day on wants.....they just don't think about it that way. I'm talking about lifestyle purchases. Personal spending, dining out, drinks, coffee, hobbies, entertainment. A little of this, a little of that.

To make my point, I opened my client folder on my MacBook and randomly clicked on clients. Below are the average daily wants spending over the last six months for ten random clients:

• $12/day - Young couple, no kids, VERY strict budget

• $17/day - Young couple, small child, financially conservative

• $19/day - 30-something couple with multiple kids, very generous!

• $44/day - Definition of "normal"

• $50/day - Definition of "normal"

• $51/day - Definition of "normal," Told me $10/day is too much

• $63/day - Sacrificially and joyfully generous

• $65/day - Told me $10/day is too much

• $72/day - Becoming more normal

• $99/day - Living it up

If $10/day seems excessive, what do we do about the fact my sample ranges from $12/day from a young middle-class couple with a very strict budget to $99/day from a different family? Also, how do we reconcile the fact that two of the people who criticized my $10/day idea are actually spending $51 and $65, respectively?

Here's where I land:

• We often spend more than we realize.

• We often spend on things that don't add value to our lives, making it feel like we're spending less.

• $10/day IS a decent amount of money, so we ought to live with contentment and gratitude.

• It's hard to keep up with the Joneses.

• Intentionality is key!

Yes, spend money on wants that add value to your life, but don't fall into the trap of more. Be intentional. Be selective. Be content. Be grateful. Be responsible. Be generous.

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Ten Buck Challenge

For whatever reason, as I was sitting in the Houston airport for 11 hours (!!!!) yesterday, I kept seeing social media posts demonizing spending. These posts were beating the drum of "Stop spending," "Only buy things you need," and "Save more, you irresponsible twerp!"

If you're a regular reader, you probably know how much I hate this narrative. It creates a culture of guilt, regret, and second-guessing. It prioritizes money over meaning, and effectively sucks the fun out of life. It turns us into robotic little savers that won't allow ourselves even one inch of slack.

Today, I want to explore a different angle about spending. Let's say, in a normal month, you spend $10/day on things you want (i.e. not a need). This is money strictly to add value to your life, and "adding value" can mean almost anything. $10/day, on average, every day.

Therefore, the task is simple. Each day, you have $10 to add as much value to your life as possible. No saving, no needs, no giving, and no investing. That's a separate bucket of money. This is $10 per day solely for the purpose of value-add enjoyment.

Looking at it through that lens, what is the most value-added use of your $10?

• Perhaps it's starting your day with a killer coffee drink.

• Maybe it's going out to lunch with a friend.

• Could it be combined with tomorrow's $10 to purchase a new book?

• Did the newest blockbuster movie release?

• Would it be valuable to save up the next handful of days and buy that new pair of jeans?

• Insert your item here.

The possibilities are endless, and each person's hierarchy of potential uses is entirely unique. I occasionally ask people this question: "If you had $10 today to spend on whatever you want - something that would add value to your day - what would you spend it on?" The answers are so unique, so thought-provoking.

Here's the good news. You probably have $10! Yes, it's ok to use it to add value to your life. You don't have to hoard it all. You don't have to clutch it out of guilt or regret. You can spend it on something cool. You can use it to enrich your life, add a burst of joy, grow yourself, or help you relax. It's ok to increase your quality of life while ALSO living responsibly, saving for future wants and needs, investing for the future, and giving joyfully and sacrificially.

Here's my question to you today: What would you use your $10 on? Whatever your answer is, consider doing it!

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Too Too Much of a Good Thing

Yesterday was a fun day. We had the opportunity to spend some time in the sun at a phenomenal little resort right along the ocean. It was absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately, it ended up being too much of a good thing….or maybe too too much. With some combination of sun sickness and food poisoning, I spent the last 18 hours with some of the worst sicknesses imaginable. I'll save you the gory details, but my favorite part was the horrid hallucinations.

That's why you're receiving this post later than usual, as I have been at death's doorstep until this very moment.

Yesterday was a very harsh reminder that too much of a good thing is never a good thing. The sun was amazing, but seven hours of constant sunlight while hanging right next to the Equator is not a good thing. I got punished for my overzealousness.

The same goes for nearly every area of life: Money, stuff, status, relationships, food, vacation. For each of these, there's enough. The amount that will add value to your life, retain a healthy balance, and live a quality life. Then, there's too much of a good thing. Once we cross that line into too much territory, these things no longer benefit us, but start deteriorating us.

The trouble is it's sometimes difficult to recognize when we've crossed that line. The worst thing we can do is anchor ourselves to what other people are doing, as I did yesterday. When we use others as the point of comparison, we're likely to inadvertently jump off the cliff because we followed them right off. Just because others were getting seven hours of straight Equator-level sunshine, it doesn't mean I should be. Similarly, just because your peers are buying monster houses, fancy new cars, and funding a lifestyle that should only be reserved for a multi-millionaire, it doesn't mean you have to. Don't anchor yourself to others.

Instead, we need to decide what's enough. What's enough sun? What's enough house? What's enough car? What's enough lifestyle? If we make this conscious decision, we can live a healthier and more fulfilling life.

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When In Honduras

Our plan for this family vacation was to keep it simple—lots of swimming, eating, and playing. We weren't intending to do any crazy excursions. However, as I was flipping through some of the different options, one stood out to me: Playing with sloths. Have you ever played with a sloth? I haven't even seen a sloth in real life. Do they even exist? Are they really that slow? Are they as cute as I picture them? There was only one way to find out. When in Honduras, as they say.

So, yesterday, while docked in Roatan, Honduras, we took a little family adventure that included a cute little sloth named Flash. We held parrots, let monkeys jump on our heads, and viewed the coral reef through a glass-walled submarine boat. Oh yeah, and we met Flash!

Just say yes to memories. Two days ago, I had never even seen a real-life sloth. Today, we're family friends with a cute little sloth named Flash. That memory is worth far more than a material possession that will surely end up in a landfill 5-10 years from now. That memory is forever!

Wherever life takes you this week, month, or year, find opportunities to say yes to memories. They may seem questionable, or a hassle, or expensive, or perhaps even a waste, but some of them will sear into you and your family's memory banks forever. Not all of them, and not all the time. Some might fall flat, land short, or be all-out duds. However, some will be pure gold. Yesterday was pure gold for our family. I'm glad I said yes when every ounce of me wanted to say no and stick to the plan of remaining chill. Future me will thank past me one day.

Let your future self do the same to you!

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