Life Happens

Wanna know how often a typical family's monthly budget goes exactly as planned? Maybe 10% of the time if I'm being honest. This is a conversation I frequently have with clients as they begin their budgeting journey. There's usually this moment within the first few months of the process where my client feels defeated; a failure of sorts. In their mind, a budgeting win means that every category gets nailed right on the head.

Life doesn't happen on paper, unfortunately. It's messy. It's sudden. It's imperfect. We can have the world's best budget to start the month, but life has other plans. Success doesn't mean nailing the budget just as we've outlined it. Rather, success is our ability to track, be aware of our changing reality it in real-time, and make the necessary adjustments along the way to account for life happening in hopes of landing on even footing by the time the month concludes.

This month is a great example for my household. Due to my back injury, we're going to face significantly more out-of-pocket medical expenses than planned. Given the stress we've been under, we'll likely also blow past our planned dining out budget. Now, we can't just throw our arms up in the air and play the victim card; nobody wins under that scenario. Instead, we must take accountability for the life that's happening, first by being fully aware of its impact, and second by making the necessary adjustments.

What this looks like for Sarah and me is a combination of things:

• A reallocation of the dollars we had already planned to spend. Some of our discretionary spending will be reallocated to the increased categories. We may also temporarily reduce the recurring savings we push toward a few of our sinking funds.

• An additional allocation of funds from emergency savings. We don't typically touch our emergency fund (that's why it's called an emergency fund), but that's what it's for. It exists for exactly this purpose.

• A deferral of a few other priorities. There are some decently important obligations in our lives, but for at least this month, those priorities must move down the list.

These newfound expenses don't deem December a failed month for us, but how we respond will. It's not ideal, and it's tremendously frustrating, but that's life. Life happens. Life always happens. It's just our job to adapt along the way.

Whether you're having the world's best budgeting month, or the worst, success or failure isn't determined until you decide how to handle it. It'll never be perfect, but you don't have to give up control.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Coffee, Milk, Sugar, and ___

My apologies for not responding to the flood of messages I've received from this week's posts. It's been challenging to reply in my current physical condition, but I'm grateful for all the comments and insights, and I look forward to going through them soon!!

I received an interesting text on the heels of my recent post about how we need to think about impact, not inputs. In the post, I discussed my chiropractor through two different lenses. On one hand, his $50 fee for a 7-minute adjustment means I'm paying him $240/hour for his time. I think that's a lame way to look at life. On the other hand, you could view the $50 as an investment toward having a functional body to increase your quality of life. Impact, not inputs.

Here's the text message I received after publishing that article: "That thought process may work for some things, but not most. At the end of the day a coffee is a coffee. There's no way to spin that one. You're buying a commodity, simple as that."

Ouch! Is that true? Is a coffee a coffee? TJ, my Northern Vessel co-owner, and I talk about this often! Here's how we think about it. We're not actually a coffee company. We're a hospitality company that happens to serve coffee. Hospitality is the core of what we do. It's our blank canvas. And the coffee is our paint.

If we're really going to boil this down, a typical coffee drink is just some ratio of three inputs: coffee, milk, and sugar. Three commodities blended into a finished commodity-ish product. There are hundreds of places to get a latte in every city, never mind the cheaper and more convenient coffee alternatives we have in our own homes. If what my friend is saying is true, why would people tirelessly wait in a line 30 people deep at a shop that arguably has the highest prices in the state?

Let's just pretend we have the best drinks in the city. Even then, the high prices combined with the massive lines would surely dampen our customer flow if people were simply there to buy a coffee, a commodity.

Which brings us back to my original thesis. We're not a coffee company. We're a hospitality company that sells coffee. What we sell is an experience, a feeling, a community. We want to offer people an experience that could be the highlight of their day. We hope the coffee is amazing, too, but it goes so much deeper than that.

We received this comment on an Instagram post yesterday:

"The coffee is amazing but I would stop here even if it wasn't because of how I feel when I walk in and how I feel when I leave." I don't know this woman, but her beautiful sentence stabs me right in the heart and synthesizes thousands of hours of work we've put into this. I'm so touched by her words, and I'm grateful she gave our team an opportunity to brighten her day.

Every single product or service we buy or sell, WITHOUT EXCEPTION, must be viewed through the lens of impact, not inputs. It goes so much deeper, and that depth is what turns business from something seemingly boring and sterile to life-giving beauty.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

How Much Is a Crack Worth?

My neck is starting to get better, thanks to my chiropractor. I'm finally able to turn my head to the side (though with much pain). A conversation I had with a friend sparked today's post. Here's what he said: "I can't believe you'd pay a chiropractor 50 bucks for something he can do in 5 minutes. What a rip-off!!!"

That's an interesting perspective. What is a chiropractor worth? My treatment did cost $50, and he did, in fact, only take 7 minutes to perform the adjustment. That means I effectively paid him $430/hour for his time. Is a chiropractor $430/hour?

Trick question; it's irrelevant. I don't pay a chiropractor for his time; I pay him for the impact he has on my life. I don't care if it took him 7 minutes or 70 minutes; I walked out of his office with more function and comfort than when I walked in. So yes, it's 100% worth $50 to me!

This is the problem with so much of how we look at business and culture. We try to judge everything and everyone by the lowest common denominator. How long did it take them? How much did the inputs cost? What are the business's overhead costs? What's the embedded profit per item, and in my skewed opinion, is it reasonable? How many years of education/training did it take for them to perfect their craft? It's all rubbish. None of it means anything.

Once in a blue moon, a prospective client will ask me to break down the number of hours I plan to spend on them to justify the price of my coaching package. In that moment, I immediately know they aren't the right client for me. I'm selling them life change, not my time. The moment they try to boil it down to my time on a per hour basis, I know it's not a good fit.

You probably live on both sides of this. As a consumer, you make hundreds of purchase decisions every week. Instead of trying to boil something down to its lowest common denominator, simply ask yourself if the outcome of purchasing this product is worth the price. It's that simple. In my case, it's not asking if paying my chiropractor $430/hour is a reasonable price, but rather, if $50 is worth my ability to function in life. Yes, please take my money, Mr. Chiropractor!!!!!

You also live on the side of the seller. Everyone is selling something. Whether you're a business owner or an employee for a company or organization, you're selling something. I strongly encourage you to spend less time focusing on the features and benefits of your product/service and more time on the impact your product/service will have on someone's life. People don't care as much about features and benefits nearly as much as they do about how their life will be better as a result of purchasing from you. Tell them. Show them. Shine the light on impact. That's ultimately what people want......and what people need.

Is my chiropractor worth $430/hour? I don't know, but I can confidently tell you that $50 is a steal of a deal for me to be upright and functioning. Impact. Always impact.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

It’s All a Game

Social media went wild a few days ago when someone posted a video while walking around a Target store. Specifically, he was shopping for Christmas trees. One particular tree was priced at $122.50, but underneath, it read, "Reg. $175 | Save $52.50."

Oh wow, this is a great deal, he thought! Then, he spotted something else. Each physical tree box had a little white sticker on the exterior. When he peeled back the sticker, it read "$120."

To summarize, Target is telling its customers that this tree regularly sells for $175, but it's going to sell it to you today for a screaming deal at $122.50. Meanwhile, the company that manufactured the tree is stating on the box that the tree should cost $120.

The collective was furious. Theft, fraud, immoral, ripping us off, evil corporations......the list goes on. Needless to say, people were upset. I, however, feel differently about it. I call it marketing. Target (or insert any other retailer here) can say whatever it wants and price it whatever it wants. It's our job, as consumers, to decide if said price is worth the value it brings to our lives. If Target wanted to price that tree for $10,000, they are free to do so. They probably wouldn't sell many (or any!), but that's what the free market allows. On the flip side, they are also free to price them for $25. Doing so would likely result in an immediate sell-out, but again, that's their business. If they wanted to say that the tree is regularly $500, I suppose they could have done that, too. To me, that's the entire business model of Kohl's.....IYKYK. Companies have been employing these tactics for decades......maybe centuries!

Today, as we experience Black Friday, the official start of the Christmas season, I encourage you to ignore the noise. Try to push aside all the mixed messages you're receiving from companies. Everything that's communicated to you is to achieve one goal: Motivate you to purchase their product.

But when we look at every opportunity through the lens of cost vs. value added, we can make a clear and confident decision. I don't care whatsoever what a product normally sells for. All I care about is whether $x price is worth the y value a potential purchase will add to my life.

Don't be fooled. Don't be discouraged. Don't be manipulated. Don't be influenced. If we go into these types of environments knowing their motivations and the tactics they might use to trigger our actions, we'll make wiser, more prudent decisions.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

An Actually Positive TikTok Challenge

Whenever the phrase "TikTok challenge" is mentioned, anything that comes next is going to be disgusting. Two cars crashing through our Northern Vessel shop doors is great evidence of that.

Today, however, I want to share an actually positive TikTok challenge with you. As I was scrolling through my feed recently, I stumbled upon an awesome little clip. A parent, on the backside of the camera, asked their child, in camera view, a simple question: "What did you get for Christmas last year?"

The kid had a deer-in-headlights look. You could see his little brain working overtime to process this question. After about five seconds, nothing. He couldn't think of a single gift he received last Christmas.

The parent then asked another question: "Where did we go on vacation this year?"

The boy's eyes lit up, and he quickly started listing off all the adventures they went on and memories they made. His little mouth couldn't keep up with his brain. It was almost like he was reliving those memories in real time.

Interesting, isn't it? I've now seen dozens of these videos pop up in my feed, each with similar results. Kid after kid after kid went blank when asked about receiving physical gifts, but then immediately lit up with excitement when asked about experiences and memories.

Experiences over things. This is one of the hallmark principles of living a meaningful life. There's certainly nothing wrong with stuff. We all have some stuff in our lives. Cool stuff. But the stuff isn't what will ultimately provide us with meaning. It's the experiences and memories that add a richness to life that's unparalleled. Yeah, the science proves this to be true. Over and over, science has proven this. However, I'm not asking you to even trust the science. Trust the faces of your kids. They will tell you everything you need to know.

Happy shopping!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

The $10 Fast-Food Burger

$10 for a fast-food burger?!?!

As I was on my way home from the cattle ranch last night, I knew I needed to stop somewhere for food. I had decision fatigue after a long week, so my brain wasn't working very well. Then, I saw it. There was a Hardee's approaching on my right. I hadn't been to Hardee's in more than a decade, so it seemed like a decent opportunity to break that sad streak.

"I'll have a Frisco burger. A double, please."

As I processed my payment and collected my receipt, it dawned on me that I had just purchased a fast-food burger for $10. $10? What in the world!

A few minutes later, I hopped back in my car with my overpriced fast-food burger. Probably not a wise decision on my part, but it was quick and it was food. Oh well, I can't win 'em all. Then, something changed. I opened the wrapper and took a bite. Whoa! For being a fast-food burger, that's one heck of a fast-food burger! It was delicious.

In a matter of 30 seconds, my posture shifted from "I just made a bad choice" to "Please, take my money, Hardee's."

It was a classic case of price vs. value. On the surface, the price seemed expensive. However, once I was able to rationally compare the price to the value, it felt fair.....more than fair.

For as often as I write about the importance of always comparing cost vs. value, I almost fell into the trap of judging something solely based on price. That delicious cheeseburger was a fantastic reminder to always keep this concept in perspective.

It's a small and silly example, but that cheeseburger is a great metaphor for our day-to-day lives. We come and go, making decision after decision. If we're not careful, we can easily make choices based on price, ignoring the value. I'm guilty of it, and I'm sure you are, too. So, this weekend, as you venture out into the world, always remember to weigh the value as you're making decisions; you'll thank yourself for doing so.

Oh yeah, and maybe swing into Hardee's for a Frisco burger!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Impact, Not Features

I was talking to a friend about her business. She has a unique business model and sells an even more unique product. On the surface, it's not really my jam. I'm not particularly interested in this field, and it doesn't resonate with me on any emotional level. However, my role wasn't to love her product, but rather to add value to her business in helping her see things more clearly. 

I asked her to explain the product. She began sharing about all the features and what a customer would get for the money. Interesting, indeed, but how much does it cost? When she told me the price, I immediately grimaced. Ouch, that feels expensive! I asked her to shift gears. Instead of telling me what a customer would get, I wanted her to explain how it would impact someone's life. Oh, now I was interested! She shared some really interesting perspectives about how a customer's life would improve because of this product. Then, she added, "And they will be able to use it for the rest of their lives." 

In that moment, her product's questionable price felt like the world's biggest bargain. You mean to tell me that for only $____, my life will be positively impacted in XYZ ways and it will be so for the rest of my life?!?!? Sold! Where do I sign up? I was hooked. In just five minutes, this went from a product I have no genuine interest in to one I NEED in my life. I’m completely enthralled by what she’s doing!

If you're a business owner, take note of this paradigm shift. However, I don't want to expound on this from a seller's perspective. Instead, I want to flip the script and focus on the buyer's experience. As consumers, we too often get bogged down by the features and benefits of a product. We look at the price and compare it to the features, then walk away. If we were wise, we would instead look at products and services through the lens of impact. 

How will this product or service impact my life? What difference will it make in my journey? How will it make my life easier? How will it make me more productive? How will it improve my health? How will it increase my longevity? What joy will it add to my day-to-day life? 

My experience is that when we look at prospective purchases through this lens, it completely transforms how we measure cost/benefit. What might have otherwise felt expensive can quickly become a bargain. Conversely, what might have otherwise felt cheap can quickly become a ripoff. 

I feel like most of my personal purchases fall into what culture would classify as "wasteful." However, each one is specifically curated to maximize the impact on my life. I don't buy much for myself, but when I do, the value it adds to my life far outweighs the cost.....even if the cost might seem higher. 

As consumers, we should focus far more on impact, and much less on features. If we can make that mental shift, we can begin playing an entirely different game. 

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Midlife Crisis: Year 2

Today is a sad day in the Shelton household. Today is the day when my 350Z (aka my midlife crisis, as my friend Emma calls it) gets stored away for the winter. This was my second full season owning this car, and it was a fun one! I've written about this car a handful of times, but here’s my original post about buying this car after a 17-year wait.

I thought it would be fun to take stock of my experience so far. As I often write about, it's not about spending less, but spending better. In the case of buying a fun car, it's certainly not "spending less." However, does it fall into the category of "spending better?" The best way to do that is to assess the value it adds to my life and contrast it with the cost.

First, the value. It's safe to say that owning a fun little stick-shift convertible has added a tremendous amount of richness to my life. I love using this car as my daily commuter for about half the year. Road trips are a blast. Going on little crank-up-the-music around-town cruises with the boys is an amazing experience. I so much enjoy having this car in my life.

Now, the cost. This is always the wild card, and one area where most people will self-sabotage. When it comes to fun things we WANT, never underestimate our human ability to squint at the cost and justify anything (even the most insanely destructive decisions).

I paid $9,000 for this car. It was 18 years old with approximately 70,000 miles on it. Fantastic deal! However, there are lots of other costs to operate a vehicle. Here's a full breakdown of my first two years of costs:

• Sales Tax: $450

• Tags: $250

• Tows: $220

• Repairs & Maintenance: $3,079

• Insurance: $1,584

• Winter Storage: $1,000

This means my total operating costs over my first 24 months were $6,583 (or $274/month).

Lastly, we need to take depreciation into consideration. Every time drive our vehicles, we're eroding the value. We can generally assume we'll lose 15% of a vehicle's value each year. I had two things going in my favor when I purchased this car. I was buying a used car that had already experienced significant depreciation ($9,000 purchase price on a car that originally sold for $30,000+). I also bought it at a great price. The $9,000 price felt a little light compared to what I thought I would need to pay.

Today, Kelly Blue Book says the estimated private party value of my car is approximately $8,800, meaning I've lost approximately $200 of value from my original purchase price.

Let's put the two pieces together:

• 24 months of operating costs: $6,583

• 24 months of depreciation: $200

• Total 24-month cost of ownership: $6,783 ($283/month)

So, I'll ask myself that question again. Was it worth it? So much richness added to our lives, and it costs us $283/month for the privilege. Yeah, this might be the greatest bargain of my lifetime. It's not about spending less, but spending better. Turns out, this is one version of my better.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

A Good Ol’ Fashioned Audit

Never underestimate our human instinct to practice the status quo. It's so much easier to keep doing what we're doing, even when doing something different would be in our best interest.

Nowhere is this concept more applicable than when I'm meeting with new clients. While my client might have been doing the same things for the past decade, I challenge every category in their budget. It can be a startling moment for people. Yeah, I understand you've been paying $25/month for xyz service for the past 15 years, but does it add more value today than it's costing you?

You wouldn't believe how many expenditures in our lives fall into the camp of not being as valuable today as they once were. Yet, we keep them around out of habit (and the path of least resistance). Here's one example. One of my clients is paying $80/month for a service. Upon asking them about it, they said it's something they've paid for about 12 years......so, naturally, it should stay. I asked a few more challenging questions. Turns out, they don't utilize the service nearly as much as they used to. Meanwhile, the price is nearly triple what it used to cost. If they are using it half as much as they used to, and it costs three times as much as before, it's only 1/6 as valuable to their lives as it once was. Through that lens, it became the world's easiest cancel.

After going through this exercise across their entire financial life, this couple managed to cut nearly $400/month of expenditures without giving up much value. Overall, huge win! A good ol' fashioned audit can be a breath of fresh air.

As the year comes to a close, I challenge you to perform a good ol' fashioned audit on your finances. Seriously consider what's adding value, and what's not. It's not about spending less, but rather ensuring that you're getting as much value (or more) than you're paying. Some cheap expenditures are rip-offs, while some expensive expenditures are bargains. It's an interesting exercise, and one I think you'll be grateful for engaging with. Happy hunting!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

A Heavy Anchor

A huge shout-out to the couple that granted me permission to share this story. I pray good comes from it, and that my harsh-ish words can move the needle in their marriage!

Picture this. I'm sitting face-to-face with a couple. They are stressed, frustrated, and borderline depressed. The tension in the marriage is palpable. You could cut the desperation with a knife. Finances are killing them! Specifically, a lack of income is killing them.

Oh yeah, I should probably add one more piece of information to the picture: Their monthly take-home income is $22,000. Yeah, you heard that correctly. $22,000/month......every month. And according to them, there's simply not enough money to keep the train on the tracks. Or, as they put it, "It costs a lot just to survive these days!"

At one point in the conversation, I pointed out to them that just their monthly housing cost (plus utilities) rivals what most people in their town make in a month. They looked at me like I had an alien growing out of my forehead. Again, I tried to put into perspective just how much money they make. They continued to stare at the alien apparently bursting from my face. I explained that the client I met with earlier in the day (who coincidentally lives 1/4 of a mile from them) has a total take-home income of about $7,000/month (and is thriving!). The wife looked like she was either going to have an aneurysm and/or hop over the table to stab me.

I don't know about you, but most people don't even dream about making $22,000/month take-home. In fact, most people probably wouldn't even know what to do with that type of income. Yet here I was, talking to a couple who were lamenting that $22,000 isn't enough monthly income to even survive.

I was getting nowhere. I asked them how much money they made early in their marriage; "Probably $4,000/month." Well, that's a bit different from their current situation. "But the world has changed a lot since then." Fact check: That was seven years ago.

Here's the harsh truth. Unless we're willing to live with humility and contentment, there's no amount of income that can satisfy us. The problem with more is that every time we get more, more is still more.

I offered a few suggestions for how this couple could create financial margin. In some families' situations, it can be challenging to open up much-needed margin. This family, however, has a treasure trove of options for swiftly and materially lightening the tension in their finances. Want to know where they landed? The husband is going to pick up some extra work on the side (nights and weekends) to see if they can make a few thousand more per month.

Here's my promise to them. If they stay on this course, we'll be talking a few years from now. They will be making $25,000-$30,000 per month, yet feel just as broke, stressed, and resentful as they do now......if their marriage survives.

They deserve better than this. You deserve better than this. We all deserve better than this. Don't let the curse of more pull you down.....it's one of the heaviest anchors ever created.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Never Enough Income

Do you ever think to yourself that xyz issues would be solved with more money? If only I made $1,000 more per month! If only I made $2,000 more per month! There are so many financial priorities, and it never seems like there's enough money to go around. First, yes, if our basic needs are not yet financially met, more money will absolutely help close some critical gaps. What I'm about to talk about is the scenario in which basic needs are met, but other financial desires are at play.

I recently had this conversation with a client. This couple makes more money than ever before, yet at the same time, there doesn't seem to be enough. How can that be?!?! How is it possible to make twice as much as we once did, yet still not have enough?

Here's why. There's never enough income. Our human instinct is to conceptualize how making x more dollars per month would magically fix it all. From my experience, however, that line of thinking is futile. People who make $75,000 think more is the answer. People who make $150,000 think more is the answer. People who make $300,000 think more is the answer. People who make $700,000 think more is the answer. Believe it or not, but I've worked with people who make $3M per year who think more is the answer.

There's never enough income. I know it's a depressing thought, but I have good news. While we can't fight our way to success by driving our income upwards, there is one thing we can control. I once heard it said this way: "Wealth is the difference between what we have and what we want." In other words, if our wants keep going up and up, there's never enough money to satisfy the craving for more. On the flip side, if our wants are kept in check (i.e., contentment), what we have is enough.....more than enough.

This is the very reason why families who make $60,000 can feel wealthy while families who make $400,000 can feel financially stressed. It's not about what they make; it's about what they want.

In my 20 years as an adult living in the real world, I've learned that my financial well-being is far more influenced by my contentment (or lack thereof) than by how much money I make. It’s a humbling reality!

What about you? Are there areas of your life that you could/should want less? Is your hunger for more eroding your contentment? What steps would you need to take to widen the gap between what you have and what you want? It's a worthwhile endeavor, and fortunately for all of us, one we can absolutely control.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Collecting?

A friend recently asked me what I collect. In response, I just stared at him. My brain was churning, but nothing was registering. Collecting....collecting....collecting. What do I collect? I couldn't think of anything. I don't collect anything?!?!

I used to collect baseball cards. I used to collect video games. I used to collect watches. I used to collect Chicago Bulls memorabilia. I used to collect DVDs. I used to collect CDs. Today, though, I can't think of a single thing I collect. Is that weird? It feels weird to me, but at the same time, I can't think of anything I would want to collect.

It feels odd to me that I used to collect lots of things, but now collect nothing. I have some theories on why I don't collect things anymore, but I'll save those theories for another day.

What about you? What do you collect? What moves the needle for you? Why? What does it do for you? How does it add meaning to your life? I'm genuinely fascinated by this topic. I want to learn what others are doing.....and why. I feel like i might be missing something in my own life, but I'm not sure what.

Please hit reply if you receive this blog via e-mail, or please comment below if you are reading on the website. I can't wait to learn more about this topic, and your perspectives on it.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

…..For Me

Whoa, I really stepped on a landmine with yesterday's post. I received countless e-mails and texts from people about my young friend's "irresponsible" coffee habit. To summarize, I have a young friend who recently gave up her six-times-per-week coffee shop visits. Making this sacrifice saves her $150/month, which sounds great......on the surface. Ultimately, though, she gave up one of the most important things in her life while blindly keeping a $675/month car payment that she couldn't care less about. The entire point of the piece was to suggest that we ought to thoughtfully look at our big rocks before willfully giving up smaller things that matter so much to us.

The hate came rushing in! To summarize at least a dozen people's responses to my article: Going to coffee shops is a waste of money.

That's it. Buying fancy coffee drinks at coffee shops is a terrible use of money. It's reckless, irresponsible, and foolish. There are a million better uses for that money than buying dumb coffee. That's the narrative.

Please allow me to rephrase the response I received from people: "Going to coffee shops is a waste of money.....for me."

The same can be said about countless other things:

• Golf is a waste of money......for me.

• Fancy restaurants are a waste of money.....for me.

• Hunting and fishing equipment is a waste of money.....for me.

• Sports and concert tickets are a waste of money.....for me.

• Spa treatments are a waste of money.....for me.

• Vacations are a waste of money.....for me.

• High-end fitness studios are a waste of money.....for me.

I have great news for you today. It doesn't matter what other people think you should do with your money. They have different values than you. They have different priorities than you. They have different beliefs than you. They have different standards than you.

When I look at the list of possible expenditures above, some appear awesome and some are a waste of money.....for me. If you discern the same list, you're going to have different answers.....for you. That's the beauty of pursuing meaning in our lives. It looks different for everyone. As soon as someone tries to tell you what should matter and what shouldn't, they've lost credibility to speak into your decision-making.

I don't care what expenditures you value and which ones you don't. My biggest care is that you know what's important to you, pursue it aggressively, and know what's not important to you, and avoid it just as aggressively. Whether you love or hate coffee, act accordingly. Whether you love or hate vacations, act accordingly. Whether you love or hate ____, act accordingly. That's where the rubber meets the road in finding more meaning in our money. Please don't fall for the trap of living other people's values. Your values are awesome enough.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Don’t Miss the Big Rocks

One of my friends wants to get right with her money. She's sick of working so hard, yet feeling so little progress. She makes good money, but there never seems to be enough. She might as well be a hamster in a wheel. She's running fast, but not going far.

Here's another fact about my friend. She loves coffee! By "love," I mean it's one of her favorite things in the world. If she were to be honest, there are few things in life more enjoyable than going to her favorite coffee shop, spending time with the staff and other customers, and enjoying a good coffee drink. 

With that context in mind, here's what happened. She recently confessed to me that she stopped buying coffees. Her tone was simultaneously proud and depressed. Proud that she's able to save money on coffee, but depressed that she just sacrificed her favorite thing in the world. 

The sacrifice isn't immaterial, though. At about $6.50 per day, approximately six days per week, that's around $150/month she's now saving by not going out for coffee. Pretty cool, right? I'm sure the world will applaud her prudence and responsibility.

I have a different take, though. Yes, she's saving $150/month that can now go toward other expenses and goals. That's fantastic, but in doing so, she literally gave up one of the most valuable things in her life. That's a pretty tough sell for me.

In our conversation, I asked her a few other questions. Here's a little tidbit I found out: Her car payment is $675/month. Here's another fun fact: She doesn't give a crap about her car. It's a car. It gets her from Point A to Point B. Her decision to buy such a car stemmed from her family's insistence that she get something "reliable," and her peers' encouragement that she deserved to drive something nicer. Thus, she now spends $675/month on a car that barely moves the needle for her.

It's an interesting comparison. She gave up one of her favorite things in life to save $150/month, while at the same time, she is blindly paying $675/month for something she doesn't care about. I think she missed the mark.

Don't miss the big rocks in your life. It's so easy to point our fingers at the small, but obvious items in our lives that "we don't need." However, instead of trying to rob ourselves of the little pleasures that can add richness to our lives, perhaps we need to look for the bigger rocks; the larger but less obvious expenditures that significantly move the needle. Most of us have them......several of them.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

It’s Gotta Come From Somewhere

As the month winds down, Sarah and I realized we bombed a few of our budget categories. Specifically, we totally botched the kids, dining out, and entertainment categories. Part of this was due to the kids' birthday, but another part was just negligence. We fell asleep at the wheel.

It's not ideal, but it's also not the end of the world. With that said, there's still no free pass. As I tell all my coaching clients, "It's gotta come from somewhere." It's okay to whiff on categories every once in a while, but when we do, the money has to come from somewhere. Dipping into savings, tapping credit cards, or further depleting our checking account balance aren't great answers. Instead, it comes down to reallocating money in the budget.

Let's say we overspend on a handful of categories by $500. There's only so much income coming in this month. In other words, we need to figure out where we can find $500. In our particular situation, it's going to come from an important savings goal we established a few months ago. Instead of setting money aside for this particular item, we need to reallocate that cash in our budget to subsidize our mistakes. It hurts, but it's pure.

That sucks, and that's the point! When we don't allow ourselves free passes to be negligent or irresponsible, it provides an added layer of accountability. I hate that we screwed this up, in part, because I hate the consequence of not being able to set money aside for an important purchase. On the flip side, we need this level of accountability so we'll be better next time.

And we WILL do better next time. These things are too important for us to continuously screw up. We made a mistake. We fixed the mistake. Now, we must do it better in October so we can achieve our goal. It's simple, but powerful.

Don't give yourself a free pass. When you screw up, it's gotta come from somewhere. Don't allow yourself to live without consequences or accountability; that's a recipe for disaster! Short-term disaster. Medium-term disaster. And most importantly, long-term disaster.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Say No to Guilt

Do you ever make financial decisions out of guilt or societal pressure? If yes, that means you're human. If no, that means you're lying......or a robot. It happens to all of us at times. Throughout the course of our day-to-day lives, we face thousands of decisions, big and small. We run into situations where we might want to make one particular decision, but the walls of guilt and/or pressure start to close in.

Tipping is one area that's becoming increasingly difficult for people to navigate. It seems like everyone and everything wants a tip. I was recently solicited for a tip from a machine that was fully automated. What do you mean the robot wants a tip?!?!?

In a recent survey conducted by Talker Research, it was discovered that Americans are spending $283/year on guilt-driven tipping in 2025, which happens an estimated 4.2x per month. $283/year is nearly $24/month. We each spend an average of $24/month on tips, solely dictated by the guilt and pressure!

As the owner of a coffee shop, I'm acutely aware of this tension. On one hand, I completely get why people are growing weary of the systematic and manufactured pressures to tip. On many occasions, it does feel like we are getting set up and manipulated.

On the other hand, I embrace the idea of our team being handsomely rewarded for excellence and hospitality. I want them to crush it, but I want them to earn it! I want them to add so much value to that experience that people want to freely and generously tip them (no guilt!).

Where I personally land on this topic is to never be influenced by guilt or pressure when tipping. When I'm at a coffee shop or most other service providers, I demand excellence. When excellence is delivered, I tip exceedingly well. Even when the service is poor (which is now a common occurrence), I tip something. I know my opinion is controversial to many, but I'm still a tipping purist at heart. I believe tipping is an intimate form of generosity, grace, and an opportunity to reward and incentivize excellence. I'm all-in on tipping.

My Meaning Over Money business partner, Cole, has a different perspective. He's beyond tired of our tipping culture and is quick to hit "no tip" in many situations. For example, if the establishment isn't in the food and beverage industry, no tip. If it's a food and beverage establishment and he has to order at a counter or walk up to grab his own food or drink, no tip. If the employee isn't polite and friendly, a much lower tip. Similar to me, but in the completely opposite way, Cole doesn't feel guilt, either. He is sincere in his actions and doesn't lose sleep over it.

While I disagree with Cole's tipping principles, I fully approve and affirm his endeavor to make guilt-free and pressure-free decisions. That's an important part of living with meaning in our finances. Nothing good comes from guilt, so let's strive to remove it from our day-to-day habits.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Deeper Than We Think

I received a bevy of criticism after yesterday's post. To summarize, I shared the story of a friend who is continually scared to spend money on wants because, all his life, he has been told that spending on things we don't need (especially expensive things) is "irresponsible." I challenged him to buy a $500+ ticket to watch his favorite team play in person for the first time ever.

The criticism:

• "You're encouraging people to be irresponsible!"

• "You should be telling people to save money not waste it."

• "Good luck retiring someday."

Do you see the irony in this? I write a piece about how a grown man who has done a wonderful job with finances is terrified to spend money on anything fun because all he's been told his whole life is that spending on wants is "irresponsible," then immediately receive a string of responses telling me that he's being irresponsible (and I'm as equally irresponsible for egging him on).

This stuff runs deep, guys! In our culture, we tend to hear the stories about people who are out there recklessly spending; it's almost become a joke. They are certainly out there! Part of the reason we talk about it is that it's so public. We often see the public side of these decisions: big, shiny, new, exotic, and fancy purchases plastered all over social media.

However, those who suffer on the other side of this coin typically suffer in silence. They often feel guilty, sometimes embarrassed, about not being able to spend money on wants. Years and years of criticism are taking their toll. Those words heard when they were children and teenagers sound as loud in their heads today as they did when first spoken.

A few encouragements today:

• If this is you, you're not alone. Find a way to break through, even if just something small. A start is a start.

• If you have influence over someone, and I suspect you do, encourage them to spend some of their resources onwants. Not all.....some.

• Lean into YOUR values. Don't spend money just to spend money. Find what matters most to you, and invest those dollars there.

• Enjoy the process!

• Have an awesome day.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Book It

I was having a coffee with a friend. Let's call him Bill. Bill is in his 40s, humble, disciplined, and by all accounts, financially successful. His family floats somewhere in the middle class. They don't lack, but at the same time, they don't live a showy life. Bill's family is what I'd refer to as a fairly normal suburban American family.

Bill is terrified to spend money on things that matter to him. If he needs it (truly needs it), it's no big deal, done. However, whenever something veers into the want camp, especially if the price tag exceeds $100, he cowers. His hesitancy isn't caused by a lack of resources or difficulty prioritizing expenditures. He and his wife have made great financial decisions and don't need to worry about drastic negative consequences.

Rather, his mental and emotional roadblock stems from childhood. For decades, he heard the same message: "Don't spend money on things you don't need." "Don't be irresponsible." Thus, Bill views spending money on wants as taboo.

Bill loves his favorite sports team. LOVES them! During my recent conversation with Bill, he confessed that he's never actually seen his team play in person. Why? It's a want....and wants are irresponsible.

"Book it!" I exclaimed. "Buy a ticket and go." Not only that, but I encouraged him to buy a high-quality ticket. The good seats! I took it one step further. He wasn't allowed to spend less than $500 on the ticket. The mere thought of this idea made him sweat. Not only was I asking him to spend money on a want, but to do it in a big way.

Bill actually followed through! He bought the ticket for his team's first game of the year. Not only that, but he bought an amazing ticket. Fast forward several weeks, and the game arrived. That was last night.

It was a night to remember for Bill. It was everything he dreamed of these last four decades, and more. What about the money? Shockingly (to him, not to me), he doesn't feel like spending that money will negatively impact him, nor does he feel "irresponsible."

I couldn't love this more. It might seem like a silly hurdle to overcome, but this is a crippling problem for millions of people. Sometimes, you just need to book it. It's important that we practice the art and science of spending money on wants. For some, it comes naturally, but for others, it's one of the biggest roadblocks of our lives. If we can learn to do this freely, but within reason, it can unlock so much meaning in our lives.

Book it. Just book it. Try me on this one.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Loaded Freighters

After a full day of meetings in eastern Michigan yesterday, we spent the evening walking alongside Lake Huron just a stone's throw from Canada. Pax and I threw the football (while he was running imaginary routes around the seagulls), Finn looked for fossils along the beach, the adults engaged in conversation, and we all enjoyed the beautiful sunset. One of the highlights was watching the freighters work through the narrow channel between the U.S. and Canada. These massive vessels are the length of two to three football fields, yet navigate confidently through the choppy waters.

I noticed something interesting while watching these vessels. One of them was fully loaded. I can't even imagine how much weight it was carrying, but the sheer scale was amazing. It sat fairly deep in the water, and its pace was slow. I suspect it takes a massive amount of fuel to propel it, and turning is probably a tricky endeavor.

The second freighter appeared empty. It sat higher in the water and moved quickly. The vessel seemed more nimble and likely required less fuel to propel it through the water.

I think that's a fitting analogy for how we live. Some of us are loaded freighters, weighed down with so many material possessions. Our lives are full of stuff and financial obligations. There's a heftiness to it. We move more slowly and we're less nimble. It takes more fuel (i.e., money) to propel us through life as we try to carry all this weight.

Other people, though, live life like an empty freighter. Their lives are simpler and more prudent. Since they float higher on the water, they are more nimble and can more easily pivot when desired. They require far less fuel to propel them through life. The empty freighters of life often live with far more margin and need fewer resources to maintain the status quo.

I remember a time when I lived like a loaded freighter. It gets tiring after a while! While the various freight I carried was kinda cool, the perpetual weight grew tiring. Eventually, I looked in the mirror and asked myself what I was doing. Was it really worth carrying around all this weight? What if I didn't have this pulling me down? What decisions could I make if I unloaded some of it? What pivots would life allow if I could be more nimble?

The answers to those questions changed everything. In a very short period of time, we shifted from living like a loaded freighter to an empty freighter. We felt freer, decisions felt easier, and we were able to pivot in ways I only previously dreamed about. It changed my life, and I've watched similar decisions change countless other families' lives as well. There's something oh so beautiful about unloading the freight. It might not seem like much on the surface, but below the water, it makes all the difference in the world!

Perhaps it's time to unload some of the freight.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

The Discomfort in Comfort

During the same conversation that sparked yesterday's post about the willful pursuit of discomfort, one of my friends shared something interesting. He pointed out that there's an irony in our culture's pursuit of comfort—specifically, the pursuit of material comfort (stuff and status). The more we pursue material comfort, the more uncomfortable we actually become.

Here's how this plays out. I'll pretend I just purchased an expensive car. To pull the trigger, I probably had to spend some cash on the down payment. That cash expenditure results in me having less cash in the bank, which is a form of discomfort. Second, I now have a large monthly car payment, reducing my available monthly take-home income, which is a form of discomfort. Now that I own this nicer car, I need more expensive insurance coverage. This added expenditure is a form of discomfort.

Now that I'm driving around in an expensive car, I'll probably keep my head on a swivel, ensuring nobody gets close to it. I'll park in the back of every lot, be careful where I'm going, and constantly keep my eyes out for trouble/damage. This added attention and vigilance is a form of discomfort.

Now that I spend a larger chunk of my financial resources on this car, there are other ripple effects. I'll probably need to make one (or more) of the following choices:

• I'll have less discretionary income for travel or other fun purchases (leading to immediate pleasure discomfort).

• I'll have less money to save for future needs (leading to near-term or mid-term financial discomfort).

• I'll have less money to save for retirement (leading to long-term financial and life discomfort).

• I'll have less money to give (leading to internal discomfort).

Yes, the new and fancy car is comfortable....very comfortable! However, the consequence of pursuing this new version of material comfort is several other forms of discomfort. That's ironic, and sad!

I don't usually chat with people while they're living in the honeymoon phase of their comfort-driven decisions. Rather, I typically spend time with them after they've experienced the shadowy, discomfort-laden side of these decisions. It's not always pretty on that side.

Pursuing comfort is rarely what we're actually seeking. Instead, pursue meaning. Violently pursue meaning. That will occasionally lead you to spend money on things that can make you comfortable, but more often than not, it will lead you in some surprising directions. Please don't allow your pursuit of material comfort lead you into these unintended consequences. Life is too short to deal with that!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.