What About the Others?

I've received a lot of fun feedback on yesterday's post about my former youth group kid who is actively living her 15-year-old self's dream. The primary objective of my post was to encourage people to follow through with their callings, regardless of what others (i.e., critics or doubters) may say.

One reader asked the following question via e-mail: "What about the others? What about all the people who tried following your advice and ultimately failed? For every 1 success story, what if there are 3 failure stories?"

I'm not naive to the reality that not every one of our dreams is going to pan out every single time. That's one of the reasons I often phrase it as the "pursuit of meaning or the "pursuit of work that matters." Everything in life worth doing involves the risk of us falling flat on our faces.

I love this blog reader's question, though, as it's so, so relevant to the conversation. I don't think this person was trying to be a pessimist or a Debbie Downer. More of a realist, if you will. In short, here's how I would answer the question: If we fail in the pursuit of the thing we desire most, then at least we know. Failure isn't a poison, but regret is. The regret of not trying. The regret of wondering "what if." The regret of not seizing the moment. The regret of not going for it. The regret of never knowing if we could have achieved it. Regret is one of the biggest toxins we humans can consume, and many of us consume it often.

Let's say my friend is correct in that only 1 out of 4 people actually achieve the goal. Does that mean the other three are losers? I'd argue that, while they didn't achieve what they set out to, at least they can live the rest of their lives without the regret of not knowing. That, in my opinion, is worth a ton!

No regrets. It doesn't mean we won't face pain, suffering, or loss, but it hopefully means we won't spend the rest of our days wondering what could have been. That is so, so important.

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Obsess About the Inputs

One of the primary principles I teach to families and businesses is counter-cultural. As a society, we're obsessed with outputs. How much profit a company makes. How many clients we can attain. How much we'll make on the other side of that next promotion. The grade we get on our report card. If our team won. Regardless of the arena of life, we're obsessed with the outputs.

I hate obsessing over outputs. Instead, I suggest we ought to obsess about the inputs and measure the outputs. The outputs are the outputs, which we often cannot control. However, we can absolutely control (or at least influence) the inputs. In fact, this is one of the primary drivers of Northern Vessel. When we first started the company, TJ mentioned that one of his desired outputs was to someday sell 400 cups in a day. As he explained, most coffee shops sell 100-200 cups per day. If we could ever find a way to get to 400 cups, that would be massive.

Rather than trying to sell 400 cups in a day (the output), we put 100% of our time, resources, and energy into the inputs:

• Creating an excellent product.

• Developing systems to ensure consistency.

• Cultivating a team culture that would allow that to happen.

• Building the means to scale volume efficiently.

• Practicing world-class hospitality.

• Curating a brand that people can recognize and relate to.

It took more than two years, but after obsessing about the inputs day in and day out, we finally hit 400 cups in a day! It was such a fun accomplishment. We measured it....and celebrated.

Then, something happened. We averaged 400 for a week. Then 400 for a month. Then, in a wild turn of events, we averaged 400 for a year. We even had a day we served 500 cups! In January, we sold 600 cups in a day! A week later, we sold 700 cups in a day! Then, just a few weeks ago, we sold 800 cups in a day! Our brains are melting....

We dreamed of someday serving 400 cups in a single day, and now live in a reality where 800 cups are on the table. We NEVER obsessed about selling 400 (never mind 800) cups. We obsessed over the inputs.

The same goes for all areas of life. My kids had lacrosse and football games this weekend. Frankly, I don't care whether they win or lose. I don't even care about what individual accomplishments they achieve during the games. I obsess about four inputs:

• Play hard.

• Practice good sportsmanship.

• Listen and obey.

• Have fun.

If they control those four inputs, they won (regardless of the scoreboard). Obsess about the inputs, measure the outputs.

This principle is about as counter-cultural as anything I talk about here, but I believe in it so much. Control what we can control, and let the cards fall as they may. Words to live by. Therefore, no matter the outcomes you experienced today or this week, focus your energies on the inputs that go into it, not the eventual outcome. If you do that long enough, you just might like the outcomes.

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New Fear Unlocked

It's been a few months since I've been scared out of my mind. One would think I'm finally on the other side of crushing fear, but alas, here we are again. Tomorrow, I'll be leading a 4-hour workshop for 25+ Christian non-profit organizations; some of the most prominent, impactful organizations in my state. The topic of the workshop: The relentless pursuit of God-honoring excellence.

As I was telling Sarah about the workshop, she asked a very innocent question: "How much of those four hours will you be on stage? 30 minutes? An hour?"

"All 4 hours! It's literally just me!"

Her eyes got really, really big; I think she got scared for me! I don't blame her. This is far bigger than me. Heck, I should be in the audience learning from some of these organizations. I look up to many of these people and would be honored to sit in front of them for four hours to learn. Yet, here we are, in reversed roles, with them in the chairs and me on stage with a microphone. Yeah, you bet I'm terrified!

I'm about to reach the point where I wonder why I said "yes" to this. My life would be so much simpler, safer, and stress-free had I NOT signed up for this endeavor. I could have avoided the risk of utter failure. I could have eliminated the possibility of letting people down. I could have reduced the risk of a massive heart attack striking me at any moment.

There's a shadow side to that, though. Saying "no" would have removed any possibility I have of making a difference, moving the needle, or otherwise positively impacting people. Saying "no" would have been an intentional forfeiture of my opportunity and responsibility to use my skills, experience, and insights to serve others. Saying "no" would have debilitated my ability to gain experience and personally grow.

No, I'm not a fan of my heart possibly ripping through my chest, and I'd sure appreciate a full night's sleep (instead of restless hours and constant nightmares), but I couldn't be more grateful or excited for this opportunity.

Have you recently experienced self-inflicted terror? If so, congrats, as both you and the world are better for you having done that. If not, perhaps now is as good a time as any to say "yes" to something bigger than you. Unlock something totally new within you. Make an impact. Use whatever experience, talent, insight, and wisdom you have to offer the world. It might suck in the lead-up (and maybe even in the moment!), but you'll soon look back as one of the most wonderful decisions of your life.

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Watching and Walking

Finn and Pax had their first lacrosse game of the season yesterday. Pax was beyond excited. When I asked him where he fits within his new teammates, he declared that he's "probably the best." Interesting, but I was waiting to see for myself. When the game started, he looked anything but the best. He looked timid, scared. Often, he was watching the action from afar, walking up and down the field. Watching and walking. Needless to say, he really struggled.

After the first game, I attempted to talk to him about this. If he really wants to be a difference maker, he needs to put in the effort. Watching and walking won't cut it. If he truly desires to be a good player, he needs to get into the action and hustle. The second game was modestly better. While he still looked timid and somewhat scared, he seemed to have a bit more pep in his step. He got more aggressive, hustled more, and put himself into the action.

As I reflected on the day during our two-hour drive home, I couldn't help but think about how many people live their lives this way: watching and walking. Many folks fail to get into the action, and when they do, it resembles anything but hustling. They typically aren't doing this to be lazy, but rather feel kind of like Pax did yesterday: timid and scared. People sometimes don't know what to do to move themselves forward, so their natural response is to watch and walk.

I think the same advice I gave Pax applies to most situations. Even if we don't know exactly what we're doing, getting into the action and being aggressive is always a winning formula. Sometimes we just need to get into the flow to find our way. I stress this to clients all the time. We all have a choice to make, and not making a choice is still a choice. Standing still is a voluntary action.

Whenever I'm sizing someone up and trying to discern how well I think they will do, it's not about how smart, educated, or experienced they are. Instead, I look for the action. I looked for the aggression. I look for tells that they will get scrappy. Once I see those tell-tale symptoms, I know it's game over!

Don't watch. Don't walk. Even if you're timid or scared. Even if you don't necessarily know the answer. Even if you don't know the right answers. Sometimes, just getting into the game and being aggressive is enough to shake loose what ails you.

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The Most Naive and Irresponsible Person In the World

I can usually see the backlash coming, but not this time. After publishing my post titled "Of Course You Did," I was unexpectedly met with a wave of criticism and unsubscribes. To summarize all the terrible things I said, I was advocating that we should always carry ourselves with a posture of generosity. Every moment of life is an opportunity to be generous.

In addition to the most unsubscribes than I've ever experienced from a single day's post, I received three separate direct criticisms:

• I'm telling people to be financially irresponsible.

• I'm a "terrible husband and an equally terrible father."

• I'm "naive."

What does it tell us about our culture when my advocacy for open-handed generosity is met with "irresponsible," "naive," and concerns about my competency as a husband and father? People often ask why I spend so much time talking about generosity in my content. This is why. We have a loooooong way to go as a culture when it comes to how we perceive and handle our money (especially through the lens of generosity).

If the ideas I advocate for make me naive and irresponsible, I guess my new dream in life is to become the most naive and irresponsible person in the world! Further, I deeply desire for you to become one of the most naive and irresponsible people in the world, too!!! Together, through our shared naivety and irresponsibility, perhaps we can collectively bend the culture and help make our entire society more naive and irresponsible.

Would you like to join me? It's so easy! I'll give you a step-by-step instruction:

1. Find a way to be generous today, and actually follow through.

2. Repeat.

3. Keep repeating.

4. Watch it change people's lives.

5. Watch it change your own life.

6. Repeat until your last breath.

I hope you have an awesome, naive, and irresponsible day!

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Like a Little Kid

Like many little boys and girls, I was obsessed with space travel as a kid. I marveled at the stars, constantly curious about what was up there. I reveled in the stories of space shuttles, moon landings, and the vastness of a world apart from Earth.

Much time has passed since those days, and I'm not longer a little kid, but watching the recent Artemis II coverage has reignited that little kid inside me. I find myself again staring up at the sky, curious as ever. Every photo and video clip of the crew's current mission excites me in profound ways.

Last night, we did a family movie night: Apollo 13. My boys watched intently, stress oozing from their pores. Unlike many of us, they didn't actually know how the story ends. They engaged in the film with the same wonder, curiosity, and awe that I had when I was their age.

I couldn't help but think how absurd the mere idea of space travel is. It's as audacious an idea as a human can muster. Yet all it took was enough people crazy enough to believe it was possible......then having the courage to bring it to life.

That's how I feel about life. Are we crazy enough to dream the dreams of absurdity? Are we brave enough to take the appropriate steps to find out if it's possible? One of the main things that separates those who do and those who don't is the gearing to actually believe the absurd is possible. Then, the courage to put one foot in front of the other.

As I watch the coverage of this current space mission, I will undoubtedly continue to obsess about the idea that anything is truly possible. Are you crazy enough? Are you courageous enough? Only time will tell if I am, but staring up at that sky really makes me wonder.

Whatever adventures you're crazy enough to dream up, I hope you find it somewhere deep within your soul to bring it to life. Sure, you might crash and burn......but what if you don't?

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Under My Roof

Yesterday, I mentioned being in $236,000 of debt at one point. It was 2008, and I was 27, newly engaged. I had my entire life planned out, all the way down to how many children I would have.....and when. Yeah, talk about being young and naive! Everything was going swimmingly until I walked into work one day and was met by a stranger, a stranger who pulled me into a conference room where I found all of my co-workers. Over the next 30 minutes, we were informed that the company was being shut down and that everyone would soon be fired.

That day was the turning point of my life. That was the day I realized that my way of perceiving and handling money was going to painfully catch up with me, and I would soon lose autonomy over my own life decisions. I had $236,000 of debt that wanted to be paid, and the prospect of no income (worst job market of our generation) was a scary proposition for a young man just a few years into his young career.

Self-pity and victimhood were running at full speed in my mind! I had every excuse in the book why I was done dirty, and I was going to suffer the consequences of other people's decisions. That's when I had a wake-up call....a very harsh and humbling wake-up call.

Somewhere in there, I realized that the causes and solutions to all of my problems lived under my roof. I was the common denominator for my crappy situation, and whether I liked it or not, I was responsible for navigating my life to a better situation. Until that moment, I thought my fortune and failures rested in the hands of outside forces. In other words, personal responsibility played less of a role than luck. That wake-up call changed everything for me.

If my past decisions led me to a place where I had limited life options, then perhaps my current and future decisions could get me to a place with more life options. My new fiancé and I set a new plan for our lives, and that plan involved never repeating that debacle again. We committed to ourselves that we would forevermore perceive money differently and would never again allow finances to dictate our lives.

It took 4.5 years to work our way through the debt mess, but life was so beautiful on the other side. Turns out, my wake-up call was right. The cause of and solution to most of my life's problems lives under my roof.....and it stares at me in the mirror.

The same goes for you. The cause of and solution to your life's problems probably lives under your roof. That's never a fun thing to admit, but once we do, it has the power to change everything. We must own our past decisions and equally own the responsibility for working ourselves toward a new reality. Discipline, humility, and persistence are key. It's not always fun, but there's something so powerful knowing it lives under your roof.

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Embracing Seasons

This weekend kicked off a new season for my family. On Saturday, the boys had their last practice before their lacrosse games begin. Then, on Sunday morning, they had their first flag football game of the year. Lastly, on Sunday afternoon, they had their first public performance with their new classic punk band at a local watering hole.

It's busier than we prefer, but we're going to embrace the season for what it is. Challenges will most certainly come, but so too will the blessings. I think a lot about life in terms of seasons. Seasons come and go, each presenting its own set of challenges and blessings.

From age 23 through 28, I eagerly engaged in a season of building my career. It was brutally challenging, but oh so fulfilling. I started as a naive kid, and ended up a little less naive and a little less kid.

From age 28 to 32 was the season of paying off our debt. Sarah and I had $236,000 of debt that dictated several of our life decisions, and we were committed to never letting that happen again. It was probably one of the most challenging seasons of our lives, but looking back, one of the most fulfilling (and impactful).

The age 32-38 season was when my career took off in a big way, while we simultaneously worked through the adoption process to begin our family. This is the season where we experienced the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. I spent much time in Asia and the Middle East, so many doors were unlocked for us, we found our people, we lost a son, we were blessed with twin baby boys, and we lost twin baby girls. So much beauty, so much pain.

The age 38-43 season was the most financially challenging season, with our family taking a 90% pay cut for me to start my career over and rebuild a new life.

In the midst of that, the age 41-45 season included the birth and ramp-up of Northern Vessel, which has unexpectedly become one of the greatest joys and blessings of my life. I never saw that coming, but I'm grateful for every bit of it.

As I reflect on each of those seasons, I can't help but think about how much pain, suffering, and turmoil each brought me. At the same time, however, when I embraced each for what it was, while also understanding it would eventually evolve into a different season, I was able to embrace it. I didn't always get it right, but the name of the game always felt like "seize the moment."

Whatever season you're in, whether awesome or painful, always remember three things:

• This season will eventually pass.

• You have the ability to seize it for whatever it is.

• Regardless of the pain, good WILL come from it. You might not see it now, but one day, it will be obvious how much good came from it.

Embrace the season.....every season. It's one of those things that makes life so difficult, but also so beautiful.

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Different, But Valuable

During a recent conversation with a friend, I was asked about the podcast, blog, speaking, coffee shop, and other consulting work I do. In short, this friend was applauding my contribution to the world, but then immediately began lamenting that they don't have anything worthwhile to offer. What?!?!

This friend is absolutely brilliant, and ultimately, I'd argue, has the potential to make a much bigger impact on the world than I. To me, this person is a legend!!! I wish I had even a fraction of this person's composure and intellect. Therefore, you can only imagine how confused I was when this individual lamented that they wished they had something to offer the world as I do.

This is the poisonous consequence of comparison. It's so easy to compare ourselves to other people, putting their skills and talents on a pedestal, while simultaneously demeaning our own. My friend does it, I do it, and you probably do it, too.

Every single one of us has something valuable to offer the world. It might be different than mine or other people in your life, but just as valuable! If I can convince people of one thing, it's this. Every single person has something valuable to offer, and if that's true, we have an opportunity and responsibility to share it.

For years, I sat around unfairly comparing myself to other people who were making a difference. If I only had his humor! If I only had his education! If I only had his good looks. If I only had his height. If I only had his wealth. If I only had his connections. If I only had his stage presence. In the midst of my wallowing and self-pity, I sat on the sidelines, not sharing my gifts with the world. What a shame!!!!

Therefore, I'm the biggest advocate for people to share their gifts with the world. Yeah, you might suck at first. You might be terrible. But doing something poorly is the admission price to eventually doing it well. We all start somewhere, but where we start isn't where we finish......that's why it's called the start.

Some of you need to hear this today. Some of you have been sitting on your gifts for years, even decades. Perhaps today is the day to get over yourself, quit comparing your gifts to other people's, and start sharing your gifts with the world. I don't know what that looks like, but I bet you do.

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Manhood

I stumbled upon something mind-boggling last night. According to a recent survey, 86% of men say that being a financial provider defines manhood. Just as scary, 77% of women agree. Nearly 9 out of 10 men, and nearly 8 out of 10 women, define manhood by a man's ability to financially provide.

While I 100% agree that one of a man's key roles should be to financially provide, it's most certainly not THE defining factor. Rather, it's A factor. The fact that we use dollar signs to place identity on men isn't news to me, but it's always disheartening.

This cultural pressure and false identity have swept men into a twisted reality where they must pursue more income at all costs. And by all costs, I mean at the expense of their role as husband, father, friend, and community member. We've told men that the only thing that matters is how much money they can bring into the household and the standard of living it can create.

Consequences of such toxic perspectives include rapidly declining mental health, broken marriages, absent parenting, miserable work, poor decisions, and severe health conditions. I'm not sure if you see this, but at scale, men are suffering in silence. They are hurting, but staying quiet. There's a quiet brokennes erupting all around us. I've been watching this unfold for years, and it's escalating.

So, what's the alternative? Completely disregard money and excuse men from their responsibility to financially provide? No way! Yes, let's financially provide for ourselves and our families. At the same time, we need to step up and be the best husband, father, friend, and community member we can be. Those things are tremendously valuable, and shouldn't be overlooked or disregarded.

I think about my friend I wrote about yesterday, who provides for his family in so many ways. His value is not measured in dollars. Yes, he provides financially, but he does so much more (as does his amazing wife). That's what makes them a special couple. It's not about a singular trait or role. They don't pigeonhole themselves into these made-up values or superficial measuring sticks.

Whether man or woman, your value doesn't come from dollar signs. It doesn't come from the house you live in, the car you drive, the school you send your kids to, the destinations of your vacations, the clothes you wear, or the professional titles you carry. You're valuable because you're a child of God....period. You're valuable....period. The rest is just noise.

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Failure Is Our Friend

I'll start with the obvious: I'm beyond excited that my Iowa State Cyclones advanced to the Sweet 16 yesterday. I'm looking forward to Friday's game against Tennessee!

Since last Wednesday, 52 teams have experienced the pain, suffering, and embarrassment, on a national stage, nonetheless, of having their seasons come to a sudden end. All of their hopes, dreams, and aspirations came crashing down in a matter of minutes. Many of these players played in their very last collegiate game.....or last game, period. So much heartbreak.

At the same time, it's exactly what they signed up for. Achieving our dreams ALWAYS involves the risk of failure. There's nothing worth doing that doesn't require us to experience the pain, suffering, and embarrassment of failure. Ultimately, I think that's what makes March Madness so beautiful.

That goes for sport, but it's also what makes life so beautiful. Each day, when we get out of bed and step into the world, we should be pursuing something that involves the risk of failure. Two cars crashed through our storefront

Despite Northern Vessel appearing from the outside as a stunning success story, we've experienced so many failures since opening the shop more than three years ago:

• Two cars crashed through our storefront in a nine-month span.

• Our original bottle subscription program never lived up to our expectations and was eventually axed.

• The mobile app we spent so much time and money developing was discontinued.

• We failed on multiple in-store product offerings.

• Our canning operation was a complete failure, resulting in huge financial losses.

• There were stretches when our finances weren't as locked in (low margins, higher-than-expected overhead, extraordinary expenditures).

These things weren't just minor inconveniences. There was a stretch in early 2024 when there was a legitimate possibility we wouldn't make it as a company. Some of it was our fault, some was circumstantial, all of it was embarrassing! Ultimately, though, we needed to use our failures to make ourselves better. We never would have gotten to where we are today had we not been exposed to those failures. Learn, iterate, grow.

Failure is part of success. Without failure, there is no success. Without failure, there is no iteration. Without failure, there is no growth. Without failure, there is no better. While I'd prefer not to re-live or repeat those failures, in hindsight, they made us who we are today. I'll always appreciate it for that.

Please don't be scared of failure. Pursue it. Tease it. Live each day with the very real possibility that failure might stare you in the face. That's where the beauty unfolds.

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A Different Kind of Success

A theme has taken shape in my coaching over the last few weeks. Several families have recently endured a ton of "life." Yeah, let's call it "life." Job losses, medical emergencies, HVAC breakdowns, car problems, unexpected vet bills.....the list goes on. We're talking about thousands or tens of thousands of dollars worth of "life."

Needless to say, these couples are discouraged. They had so many goals. Debt payoff goals. Savings goals. Investing goals. Purchase goals. Giving goals. Whatever their goals were, using that money to absorb emergency after emergency wasn't on their wish list.

Despite all that, I view each of these couples as financially successful. Not successful in their established goals, but a different kind of success. In the past, each of these couples would have immediately resorted to debt to pay for these emergencies. The credit cards come out to play. The HELOC takes on a chunk. A new car loan would be in order. Not this time! Today, each of these couples can (and should!) hold their heads high and recognize the fact that they've experienced the brutal realities of life without incurring debt. That's a massive win in my book!!!

I pray each of these families gets back to some form of normal soon, but in the meantime, I will celebrate this massive success of taking multiple punches without punishing their future selves with the burden of debt.

Maybe you're in a season of achieving all the goals you set for yourself. But if not, and like these families, you're experiencing all the bluntness life has to offer, I hope you can create and celebrate a different kind of success. All wins are worth celebrating, even when winning means surviving the onslaught.

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Focus, In Practice

Crush one thing, then move on to the next. That was the subject of yesterday's post. Focus is a weird thing, and often difficult for us humans to execute. After all, there are many things vying for our time, attention, energy, and resources. However, whether we like it or not, there's simply not enough time, attention, energy, or resources to attack everything.

Today, I want to share some real-life examples of how this concept works through the lens of personal finance. The most common and notable version of this concept I see people shortchanging themselves is debt. Specifically, the payoff of debt. When we try to pay all our debts off at once, we'll likely pay none of them off.

Here's an example of what this looks like, using some nice round numbers for simplicity's sake. A family has ten $1,000 debts, totaling $10,000. This couple determines that it can afford to pay $1,000/month extra toward the debt (above the minimum payments).

Conventional wisdom says that if they pay $100/month toward each debt, they can have their debt paid off after 10 months! That's exciting!!! Here's what that looks like in practice, though:

• After 1 month: 0 debts paid off

• After 2 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 3 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 4 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 5 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 6 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 7 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 8 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 9 months: 0 debts paid off

• After 10 months (if everything went perfectly): 10 debts paid off

The gap between month zero and month 10 feels massive. Grinding month after month after month without feeling a tangible win is terrible. Inevitably, life happens, expenses pop up, or they get sidetracked. Failure is likely. Not because they didn't have it in them, but because they lacked focus. Discouragement sets in. A sense of defeat saturates them. Quitting is on the table.

Let's try this again, but with focus as the primary objective. Instead of paying $100/month toward 10 different debts, they decide to focus all $1,000/month on one debt each month. Here's what that strategy looks like:

• After 1 month: 1 debt paid off

• After 2 months: 2 debts paid off

• After 3 months: 3 debts paid off

• After 4 months: 4 debts paid off

• After 5 months: 5 debts paid off

• After 6 months: 6 debts paid off

• After 7 months: 7 debts paid off

• After 8 months: 8 debts paid off

• After 9 months: 9 debts paid off

• After 10 months: 10 debts paid off

Will life still get in the way? Probably. However, look at those wins! Almost immediately, this family would experience and benefit from wins. From a psychological perspective, wins matter. Getting a win provides much-needed encouragement, confidence, and motivation to not only keep going, but even step on the gas harder.

This one small shift in perspective can be the difference between complete failure and world domination. Same dollars, same timeline, same commitment. Different focus, different results.

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Crush One Before Another

Our Northern Vessel ownership team recently decided that I need to take on a larger role within the company. I was already active behind the scenes and had a part-time, finance and operations role for the last 15 months. However, as the business grows and evolves, we need more of many things. After much convincing from TJ (our founder), I agreed to step in deeper.

Younger me would have thought the best course of action was the full implementation of all the great ideas on day one. Full bore, 100% force on everything from the get-go. However, after much experience (and the harshest of hard lessons), I've wisely learned that's a terrible approach. Instead, my best advice to the team (and to TJ) is to ease our way into the first initiative.

In our particular situation, given the sheer number of people we serve each day, inventory management is critical. However, we purchase hundreds of different items for our shop. Old me would have attempted to gain control of each of these products at the same time.....ouch. What's about the transpire is a staging. First, the big rocks of our business: coffee beans, milk, and serving containers (cups/cans/bottles). These three items are critical to our operation, and failure to manage these well will result in product outages, waste, warehouse storage shortages, or destructive margins, all of which are harmful to the business.

Dozens of initiatives need to be completed, yet we're focusing 100% of our attention on getting better control of coffee, milk, and containers. That's it. If done well, just that will have a transformative impact on the business. Once we gain traction, we'll take the newly learned best practices and incorporate our other inventory items. Then, once that's knocked out, we'll move on to another important initiative.

No, the entire point of this piece isn't to wax about coffee inputs. We need to focus! I often meet with clients who think the best idea is to implement every idea from the start. Many of my coaching concepts are counter-cultural in and of themselves, so trying to completely shift how we're viewing and handling finances in every single way, all at once, is a wildly terrible idea.

This month, we'll incorporate this. If successful, we'll add something next month. If all continues smoothly, we'll add the next piece. Before long, ten new ideas have been successfully implemented. On the flip side, if we try to implement all ten of these ideas right away, we might strike out completely.

Make one change today. Just one. Commit to it. Give yourself grace, but keep at it. AFTER you've locked it in, add another. Repeat. This applies to personal finances, for sure, but also to so many other areas of our lives.

To be continued....

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The Tale of Two Neighbors

I'm good friends with two people, but I don't think either of them knows I'm friends with the other. These two individuals are both business owners, and as luck would have it, their retail locations are adjacent to one another. They share a wall!

During one of our recent conversations, one of these friends was expressing excitement about how amazing business has been lately. The business is hitting record numbers and has new customers coming out of their ears. 2025 was the most profitable year ever, and by the looks of the first two months of 2026, this year will crush those records. Every conversation revolves around their team culture and its customer experience.

During a recent conversation with the other friend, the theme of the conversation revolved around the idea that nobody supports small businesses anymore. Everyone just wants to eat at chain restaurants, shop at big-box stores, and order their goods from Amazon. In other words, people suck, and the stupid actions of these sucky people are driving all small businesses into the ground. Closure seems imminent, which I suppose is the natural outcome when people stop "supporting local." It's always a pity party, and this person (and their business) is always the victim of the situation.

You'd think these businesses are located on different planets, but remember, they share a wall! Same street, same foot traffic, same weather patterns, same landlord, same everything. One thing sets them apart, though. The first business is laser-focused on being excellent, offering a fantastic product, practicing unreasonable hospitality, and serving those whom they have the privilege of serving. They have a posture of gratitude and constantly have their foot on the gas.

The second business operates with a sense of entitlement, constantly asking people to come support them. They don't operate with excellence, and the staff treats people poorly. They don't have a keen sense of the numbers and are always looking for a novelty idea to get people in the door. Further, they are known to spout off about political topics.....which is likely driving away 50% of their prospective customers.

It's never really about "supporting" small business or not. People naturally gravitate toward excellence.....period. People are largely agnostic about big vs. small, national vs. local. If anything, I'd say people naturally bend toward small and local, but said small and local businesses must earn it through excellence.

Whatever you're doing today, whether you run a business or not, focus on excellence. Excellence always wins....always. Yes, there are many forces and factors at play. There's no doubt that externalities play a role in our lives, finances, careers, and businesses. However, at the same time, we must control what we can control. And today, we can control our pursuit of excellence.

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Don’t Forget to Look Down

I was recently working on a project for a client when one of the senior executives blurted out, "I can't believe you know how to do that. That's insane!"

"Well, I didn't know how to do this a year ago."

He laughed. I wasn't kidding. The truth is, some of the things I'm working on today are miles above what I could accomplish just one year ago. Think about that! At 44, much of my work involves skills that 43-year-old me had zero chance of executing......never mind 33-year-old me!

It's moments like this that remind me how important it is we look down. We're often so busy climbing this proverbial mountain of growth that we lose sight of just how far we've come. Sometimes, we need to take a little peek down the mountain to jar ourselves back to reality of just how far we've actually come.

In a world that consistently tells us we're not good enough and encourages us to unfairly compare ourselves to others, perhaps we need to start (fairly) comparing ourselves to where we've come from. I don't want to be the next xyz. I want to be the best me I can be. Therefore, instead of comparing myself to someone else, I need to compare myself to where I've come from.

Am I more skilled at x than I used to be?

Am I wiser than I used to be?

Am I a better decision-maker than I used to be?

Is my emotional intelligence better than it used to be?

Are my blog posts and podcast episodes sharper than when I first began?

Am I more effective in my coaching than I was in the past?

Are my speaking skills better honed than in my earlier talks?

These should be the measuring sticks I use to assess myself, not some celebrity version of what I do on social media. As for you, you need to create your own measuring sticks. You need to look down that proverbial mountain and see just how dang far you've come. Go ahead, take a peek. Be honest with yourself. How far have you come in the past year? 5 years? What about 10 years!?!?

Great, now just imagine how cool and awesome it's going to be 10 years from now! That version of you is really going to move the needle. Keep moving forward.

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Playing How We Practice

I once had a basketball coach say something that forever stuck with me. It happened on the heels of a horrible practice; a practice which we were goofing off, playing at half speed, and not focusing on the nuances of the sets. He came into the locker room and screamed, "We play how we practice, and if today's practice was any indication, we're about to get our a**'s kicked tomorrow night."

Ouch! Turns out, he was right. We got steamrolled by a conference rival the following day. That principle, though, has always stuck with me. The intensity at which we practice has a direct correlation with how we'll show up in the games. Michael Jordan was famous for this. He specifically engineered the Chicago Bulls' practices to be so brutal and intense that their games felt easy. Did it work? Well, they have six championship rings, suggesting it did.

This principle carries over into my financial coaching world. When I'm working with couples, I watch closely how they handle the little things. For example, one of my clients received a $2,000 tax refund. It's not a huge amount of money, but it's something with heft to it. It matters. Despite being deeply in debt and desirous to gain firmer footing, they elected to blow this cash on pure wants. This was the proverbial practice, and they sluffed off. They had an opportunity to show discipline and wisdom with a smaller sum of money.....and blew it. This informed me that they would soon make even worse decisions with larger sums of money (the proverbial game). Fast forward through the next year, and that's exactly what happened. Their behavior in practice carried over directly to their performance during the games.

I see the opposite happen, too. When I watch a couple make wise choices with the smaller things, it gives me confidence that they will make similarly wise choices with the bigger moments. Like clockwork, it happens just like that. They play how they practice, and in their personal situation, it looks like Michael Jordan out there.

The same applies to you and me. We play how we practice. Let's be wise with the smaller moments, as those same behaviors and practices will soon transcend into the bigger moments. If we treat every practice like a game, we’ll be wearing those championship rings soon enough!

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A Little Accountability Goes a Long Way

One of my clients was having a heck of a time. Over and over and over again, it seemed like circumstances were stackedagainst them. A misfortune here, some bad luck there. As they described it, this was a recurring theme for the entirety oftheir adult lives. Simply put, they were the victims of bad luck and unfortunate circumstances.

However, there seemed to be a continuous theme for each of these seasons of life: them. At some point, as circumstances continue to repeat themselves, we need to look in the mirror and ask ourselves if perhaps we're part of the problem. In this couple's situation, it was obvious to me (but not to them) that perhaps their decisions (or lack thereof) were fueling the madness.

At the heart and soul of the issues, there wasn't much accountability around their finances. Everything felt reactive and chaotic, shooting from the hip. You don't need to be a subject-matter expert to know that's a terrible way to approach money.

The solution? Create accountability from the rubble of chaos. To their credit, they were willing to entertain my ideas for a while. Here's how we intentionally created accountability in an arena where it had not previously existed:

• At the end of each month, they would write down the balances of all their financial accounts and debts. How much did they have, and how much did they owe? Every single month.

• Every single month, they negotiated a budget and endeavored to follow it. Not a sucky budget where they weren't allowed to spend on things they cared about, but a budget that specifically gave them margin to do what they felt was important to them.

• They got rid of the credit cards and streamlined everything to only their joint checking account. Every dollar came into that account, and every dollar left from that account. No side quests.

• Speaking of every dollar, every single dollar of income, regardless of the source, was included in the plan. Thisincluded gifts, bonuses, tax refunds, etc.

• Each month, they reviewed how they did. They were forced to inspect their mistakes and recognize their wins. They had to actually see the consequences of their decisions, for better or worse.

This actually happened seven years ago. That couple who had spent decades dealing with bad luck and misfortune has since transformed themselves into a family that seems to have a lot more good luck and positive fortune. They no longer have debt. They know exactly what's happening with the finances. They are pursuing their aspirations.....and making progress! They don't fight about money anymore. They are living such an amazing life!

This isn't a story about my coaching. This is a story about the power of taking accountability and deciding enough is enough. It's a story about redemption, second chances, and the power of discipline. It's a story about two grown adults who shed generations of financial and behavioral baggage. A little accountability goes a long way!

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More Doesn’t Mean Growth

I recently found myself in a conversation with a coffee shop owner. He knew I was a business consultant, so he wanted to ask me a few questions and get some feedback on the inner workings of his business. However, what he didn't know during the first half of this conversation is that I also own a coffee company. The relevance of this detail will become apparent shortly.

In short, this business owner is trying to grow revenue, which, in turn, should increase profit. His solution? More product offerings. Specifically, more food options and more specialty drink options. In his mind, more options = more sales. Here's the lay of the land. After adding new drinks, they now have 26 specialty drink options. Not only that, but these 26 specialty drinks come in three different sizes......and each can be served hot or cold. If you do the math, that means their specialty drink menu has 156 different variations! This doesn't even include their non-specialty drinks.

Since he asked my opinion, I shared it. Growth doesn't happen from doing more, but by pursuing excellence. Doing more, but not being excellent, is a great way to drive yourself crazy while standing still. Excellence, on the other hand, is a great way to scale. Or, contextual to his world, excellent drink quality, excellent culture, excellent processes, excellent consistency, excellent workflow, and excellent hospitality.

This man couldn't have disagreed more with my principle, adding that while my ideas might work in other industries, it doesn't apply to coffee. That's when I shared about my coffee company, Northern Vessel. I explained that we carry six specialty drinks. All come in just one size, and three of them are served hot or cold. Therefore, in total, we have just 9 specialty drink variations (compared to his 156). On top of that, we only serve one food item: donuts from a local donut shop.

"Well, that idea sounds good in theory, but how do you plan to scale that? We're serving 150-200 cups per day and think we can grow it to 300. Offering only six specialties and not giving people size options won't cut it. How many cups are you at?"

"500-700 per day."

"..........."

The truth is, I used to believe the same myths as this man. When we launched our brick-and-mortar shop just over three years ago, we had several more drink options and many different food options. As we increased our focus on excellence, we grew. As we simplified our offerings, we grew. As we thought less about growth and more about getting better, we ironically grew. Excellence always wins.

I know all this coffee talk probably isn't relevant to your life. HOWEVER, this is a universal principle. Excellence is the best way to grow, always. Even when every ounce of our being says that more options and more offerings are the answer, it's not. Everything comes back to excellence....period.

I'm not saying Northern Vessel is excellent or I'm excellent. Rather, Northern Vessel is trying to be more excellent today than it was yesterday....and the same goes for myself. I don't know where we land on the overall excellence spectrum, but hopefully it's a perpetual up-and-to-the-right trajectory. No matter the industry or discipline, it's a winning formula.

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“Why Not Us?”

A 30-something couple was sitting across from me. They looked like a perfect mix of tired, stressed, and demoralized. While several parts of their life were going well, secretly, their finances were a mess. From the outside, everything looked somewhere between average and good. However, the truth is they were drowning from the weight of debt and other past financial decisions.

Despite all that, they seemed hopeful. Several of their friends had worked with me in the past, and, due to whatever stories they had been told, they felt a glimmer of encouragement. I walked them through the concepts and explained what it would take to get on the other side of this stressful mess. After about five minutes of me explaining a difficult yet simple plan, the wife looked at the husband and confidently exclaimed, "Well, why not us!?!?"

"Why not us?" Having a healthy (and positive!) relationship with money isn't reserved for the few people over there. It's open to all, and the only prerequisite is that we handle ourselves with discipline, determination, and focus. "Why not us?!?!" Gaining traction and building positive momentum is no small feat, and it requires much more than a little good fortune and a few good decisions. It takes intentionality, discipline, and the compounding effect of thousands of small decisions.

This couple is going to crush it. Do you want to know why I know that? Because they believe it. Sometimes, that's the spark that ignites the whole thing. On the flip side, the most surefire way to know someone won't win is because they don't believe they will win. It sounds silly, but it's true.

I've walked alongside countless families on this financial journey. Some have won.....some haven't. The common thread, more often than not, is if the couple (or person) sincerely believes winning is possible.

"Why not us?!?!" I think this should be our new rallying cry. In our work, in our families, in our money, in our hobbies, in our passions, and in our relationships.

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