The Gatekeepers Are Dead

In the last few months, I've heard an array of mirroring comments from people in my life:

• I wish I could start a podcast.

• I wish I could publish a book.

• I wish I could record an album.

• I wish I could start a business.

For generations, we lived in a world of gatekeepers. If you wanted to publish a book, you'd need a publisher to say "yes" to you and offer to publish it. If you wanted to be a radio or TV personality, you'd need a network to sign you. If you wanted to record an album, you'd need a label to discover you. If you wanted to start a business, well, there were a ton of barriers to entry. Gatekeepers were abundant, and our culture required permission to enter.

The gatekeepers are dead! Sure, publishers, networks, and labels still exist, but they no longer have the power to gatekeep like they once did. Yes, you need their permission if you want to access their particular platforms. However, due to advancements in technology and a massive cultural shift, we are no longer at the mercy of these gatekeepers.

If you want to start a podcast, start it! If you want to publish a book, publish it! If you want to record an album, record it! If you want to start a business, start it! The cost and friction points to initiate any of these endeavors are so low.

You can start a podcast on your phone today for free. If you wanted to, you could use your phone as the recording device, and Spotify For Creators (free!) as your distribution platform. Within seconds, your podcast could be on every meaningful podcast platform in the world.....for free! Zero gatekeepers!

If you want to publish a book, Amazon's self-publishing platform allows you to do it for free! No up-front cost, no minimum inventories. If someone orders a copy, Amazon fires up the printing machine, sends the customer the printed copy, and keeps a chunk of the revenue as compensation. Zero gatekeepers!

I know 12-year-olds who are starting creative businesses that are now making more than the median U.S. adult. I once had a high school youth group kid who made twice as much as I did! Zero gatekeepers!

None of these are easy endeavors, but nobody said it should be easy. This isn't about hard or easy, but rather, why we're waiting for permission from the gatekeepers. Spoiler alert: Permission isn't coming. The gatekeepers aren't what's coming between us and our callings. Instead, we're coming between us and our callings. We're too much in our own heads, using no-longer-existing gatekeepers as the excuse.

So many of you have dreams of one day doing xyz. Whatever that endeavor is, just do it! Don't wait for the gatekeepers.....they are dead. There's no better day than today to give yourself permission.

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Rock Bottom

There's a saying I've been using for the last decade: "Okay is the worst place to be." There's nothing worse than being okay in xyz area of life. Okay isn't good enough to thrive, but also not bad enough to change. Slotting ourselves in the okay lane is a first-class ticket to stagnation....and eventual slow-burn failure.

I see this play out over and over again with people and money. People who are doing okay are the ones who will end up in the worst places. For better or worse, rock bottom is the blessing of all blessings. Hitting rock bottom is typically the catalyst that triggers massive change. You know who doesn't hit rock bottom? People who are doing okay.

There's one particular area of Northern Vessel that we've done okay with for the past three years on the operational side. Never good, never bad. However, it's one area I've been standing on my soapbox, yelling about how we need to step up our game. Since we've been stuck in okay land, there's no chance of making meaningful change. Something awesome happened this week, though. We hit rock bottom! We finally reaped the consequences of not handling ourselves with excellence. We screwed up, and we're paying the price. Okay quickly turned to rock bottom, and guess what (!?!?), we're ready to make some meaningful changes. As always, rock bottom will allow us to transform this aspect of our business and thrive like never before.

I never root for people to fail. However, I feel terrible for all the people in my life who live in the land of okay. I want so much better for them, but okay is their worst enemy. I never celebrate people's rock bottoms, but I rejoice in the transformation that's on the table when it does come.

I don't wish for you to experience a rock bottom, but I believe you deserve far better than just okay. I don't know what area of your life I'm talking about here, but you do. You absolutely do. Don't settle for okay, and please don't wait for rock bottom to be your wake-up call. Rock bottom will certainly wake us up, but let's not require that outcome before stepping up our game.

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Grateful For That Kid

Yesterday's post highlighted the inevitable reality that someday, future us will become current us. What seems old to us today will eventually feel young. Included in my post was a cautionary tale from an old friend who is learning this harsh reality in real time. The post ended with the following: "Yes, you're younger today than you will be someday. At the same time, however, 20 years from now you'll still be younger than you will be someday. Current you is always the youngest version of you. Please help yourself help yourself. Your future self will thank you."

In a fun little twist of fate, I had a related conversation with a client just hours after yesterday's post was published. This client, mid-40s, is in the process of making a huge life transition. Culturally, it's an odd decision. However, it's one this couple has earned through two decades of discipline and wise decisions. Here's an exact quote from the husband: "I'm very thankful for 23-year-old me."

I'm sure 23-year-old him had no idea what his life would look like in his mid-40s, yet at the same time, he respected future him enough to make some powerful, delayed-gratification decisions. Now, decades later, he's about to reap what he sowed. It's such a beautiful example of this concept.

40-something-year-old him isn't as young as 23-year-old him, but 40-something him is the youngest he'll ever be. And now, also being a 40-something, I too realize that being in our 40s often feels like being in our 20s. We feel young. We feel healthy. We know who we are. We know what we value. Life can be pretty dang awesome.

Now, this couple will spend the next season of their lives creating an entirely new reality that will forever transform their family. All because that 23-year-old kid had enough awareness and respect for his future self to live with wisdom and discipline.

No, we can't go back in time and get a do-over. I don't see any DeLoreans sitting in my driveway. However, regardless of how old you are, you're the youngest you'll ever be. You still have a chance to help your future self live the life they deserve. Please don't let them down.

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The Secret Sauce

I try to suss this out during prospective client consultations. I used to be terrible at it. Then, I started seeing patterns. Eventually, it became a talent. It's the secret sauce. Want to know what it is? Humility. Specifically, how much humility will prospective clients be bringing into this coaching relationship?

When someone lacks humility, the ceiling is quite limited. With a high level of humility, there's nothing that can stop them. That's it, that's the secret sauce. If you ever want to know what sets some people apart from others, it's humility. I would even double down on that statement and say that not only is humility the gateway to unlocking success, but a lack of humility can actually self-destruct the entire coaching relationship, bringing it to an early and disappointing end.

I've been on both sides of these relationships, and I've lived on both sides of humility. I remember, in my early 30s, entering into a mentor/mentee relationship (I was the mentee) where I had very little humility. I thought I knew everything. I thought I already had it all figured out. I wasn't coachable. My lack of humility effectively ensured that I would learn nothing from this brilliant person who was generously volunteering his time to me. Sure enough, it was a waste of time for both of us......100% caused by my lack of humility.

On the flip side, I've had other mentor/mentee relationships (again, as the mentee) where I approached it with deep humility. I essentially took the approach that I knew nothing and that anything they said must be seriously considered. Want to know what happened? I grew a ton! I learned so much. In fact, I probably learned more in that relationship than I did in four years of business school, combined.

Humility, the secret sauce. It sounds so cliché and exaggerated, but after coaching people for more than a decade, I can positively testify that humility is the key that unlocks most doors. Meanwhile, a lack of humility has the power to shut and lock already-open doors.

I had a lack of humility yesterday. I approached a certain conversation as if I already knew everything. I was annoyed and somewhat offended by how the other person was talking to me. Don't they know what I'm capable of?!?! I didn't say anything out loud, but in my head, I was screaming. I could feel the lack of humility in my soul at that moment. I hated that feeling! I never reacted or got defensive outwardly, but it's definitely something I need to work through inside me today.

You know what's worse than not having humility? Needing to have the humility to admit you need humility so that you can actually find humility. Without humility, I'll become an arrogant jerk. With humility, though, I'll be able to make a significantly greater impact. Humility must win out. Humility HAS to win. Humility is critical. It's the secret sauce.

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Screwing Up My Own Recipe

Today's post is inspired by one of our readers from Guatemala, who emailed me regarding yesterday's post. Turns out, most of us totally botched the recipe I laid out yesterday. And by most, I'm including myself. In fact, I botched it hard! So hard, in fact, that I ended up being a victim of an out-of-state involuntary relocation because my finances didn't provide the margin for me to make my own choices.

Just in case you all somehow think I'm some financial wiz kid who has always got it right, here are some of the costly decisions I made between the ages of 16 and 27 (i.e., all the ways I violated and brutalized the recipe I laid out in yesterday's post):

• I had my first car loan at age 15. Fifteen! It was a pretty sweet Camaro that I painted Carolina Blue.

• Instead of choosing any number of in-state colleges, I elected to pay 4x as much as necessary to attend an out-of-state school.

• I signed up for my first credit card one month into college, effectively delinking my income from my spending. I never carried a balance, but using a credit card no doubt had a psychological impact on my spending.

• During my second year of college, I sold my reliable, paid-off car and purchased a $19,000 Acura Integra. Very sweet car, but to this day, it's the most expensive car I've ever purchased. Think about that. The car I bought 24 years ago, with a poor college kid's income, was the most expensive car I've ever purchased. Just wow!

• I bought my first house two years after graduating from college. I felt the cultural pressure to move quickly and shoot high, and I certainly met the mark on both.

• My giving was approximately zero. And by zero, I'm not sure it ever even crossed my mind! That young Travis was selfish!

• I kept up with the Jonses the best I could. I didn't know if I would win the race, but I was sure giving it my best effort.

• I used debt for everything, all the way down to my wife's engagement ring. By the time my company shut down and I was involuntarily relocated, my debt had ballooned to $236,000.

• Meaning? What's that?!?! My goal was to make as much money as possible, enjoy said money, and invest the rest effectively so I would have even more money to enjoy later.

In other words, I lived a "normal" life and fell right into the hands of our culture's toxic perspectives. I was the epitome of our modern materialism.

There was always hope for me, and fortunately, I eventually became humble (and humbled!) enough to change. Regardless of where you are or what mistakes you've made (or still making), there's always hope for you, too! It's never too late to make meaningful shifts. A few chapters of your story have already been written, but great books aren't defined by the beginning. In fact, the best stories get progressively better as the adventure unfolds, and your story is no different. Here's to the next chapter!

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The Recipe

Okay, wise guy, Travis. What's the recipe? It's funny how the feedback rolled in from yesterday's post. Everyone 40 years old and above applauded my post, while everyone under the age of 40 cursed me. To frame it up, I wrote about a juxtaposition I experienced yesterday. While waiting for a client to join a Zoom meeting, I saw a social media video of anearly 30-something ranting about how his generation has been absolutely screwed out of a decent life. Then, two minutes later, I met with an early 30-something couple that's absolutely crushing it. What's the difference? Decisions compound. Good decisions compound our lives in a positive way, and bad decisions compound our lives in a negative way.

The biggest question I received since yesterday is what a series of good compounding decisions looks like in a real-life situation. The below sequence of events, in rough chronological order, is my idealized version of this recipe. Everyone's unique story will most certainly differ from this.

• As a teenager, learn the art of spending, saving, and giving while NOT using credit cards. 90% of us don't get this one.

• Buy that first car with cash. It's probably not going to be your dream car, but it will be an awesome experience!

• When graduating high school, carefully choose that next step. If attending college, intentionally choose a college that you can afford; NO student loan debt. Every one of us has options to attend a college or trade school without debt. This is where most Americans' negative compounding begins.

• Find a job that roughly meets the following two criteria: pays the bills and leads you closer to the field/work you're called to do. It doesn't have to be the dream job, but you also don't have to willfully sign up for 30 years of misery, either.

• Secure housing that accounts for less than 25% of your take-home pay. Creativity might be needed for this one, but success on this item unlocks so many options!

• Don’t rush to buy a house! Young adults don’t know what their life could/should look like, so an early house purchase is rarely a blessing.

• DO NOT jump to upgrade the vehicle. A workable vehicle is a workable vehicle.

• Once in a grown-up job, carve out a lifestyle conservative enough to allow for fun, saving, giving, and investing. It might not be much, but work each of those into your monthly practices.

• Learn to budget well. A well-executed budget unlocks so many doors!

• Save a healthy emergency fund (3+ months of expenses).

• Consistently increase the amount going into your investments.

• Make giving a priority.

• Find the right partner. The wrong partner will cause so much heartache and trouble. Find someone who aligns with your values.

• Find your why, and aggressively pursue it with everything you've got. Clearly defining this will enable you to intentionally plan your finances to align with this vision.

• Don't be afraid to turn your back on the normal way of doing things. Keeping up with the Joneses is a great way to end up stressed and miserable, like so many around us.

• Endeavor to stay out of debt. Outside of your primary residence, there's no reason for any of us to borrow money on anything. See, counter-cultural. This principle will change your life!

• Find meaning in all of it; the exciting and the mundane, the large and the small.

Controversial? Perhaps. Effective? Absolutely.

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Compounding Decisions

One of my clients was running late to a Zoom coaching meeting yesterday. Since I had a few minutes to burn, I decided to scroll social media. Within 30 seconds, I stumbled upon a brutal rant from an early 30-something. This man, self-identifying as a younger millennial, went scorched earth about the older generations and how they set up the younger generations for utter failure. In his words, he and everyone his age (and younger) are essentially screwed.

• Can't make enough money to survive.

• Will never buy a house.

• Can't afford to get married.

• Not enough resources to raise children.

• Zero chance of retiring.

Limited incomes, heavy debt burdens, and spiraling monthly expenses were highlighted as contributing factors to the misery. Each of these problems were somehow pinned on the older generations. I could almost hear a little baby violin playing in the background.

Here's the irony. My client, who was running a few minutes late, is the exact same age as the jaded victim from the social media post. One difference, though. This couple is absolutely crushing it! Through intentionality, consistency, humility, sacrifice, and a strong work ethic, this couple has carved out a beautiful life for their family. Make no mistake, it was no accident. This couple has had a vision for the past decade, and they've executed well. It wasn't always easy, and it was rarely sexy, but here we are.

When I spend time with this awesome couple, I'm reminded of a principle that's a universal truth in money and elsewhere: decisions compound. When we make good decisions, the implications of those decisions compound into the future. When we make poor decisions, the implications of those decisions also compound into the future.

Back to the man from the social media post. I was so fascinated by his rant that I checked out some of his other content. Sure enough, I found example after example of how his poor decisions have compounded on him. Here's a summary:

• He chose to go to a small private school to play a sport. Tuition was sky high.

• The sky-high tuition caused him to sign up for more than $100,000 in student loans.

• Immediately after college, he purchased a new car. He's since traded in for 2-3 different new cars. The negative equity rolled from each, resulting in today's car payment of nearly $1,000/month.

• In order to pay his quickly rising monthly obligations, he signed up for the first reasonably paying job he could find. He hates it, but it pays the bills....barely.

• In part because of how much he hates his work, he goes on lots of vacations. He can't always afford them, but the credit cards help him connect those dots. That's okay, though, as he'll pay them off in a few months.

• Things are increasingly tight, so it's difficult to save anything for retirement.

His decisions have compounded. Each one leads to the next. The pressure builds. If he were to ask me for advice, here's what I'd tell him: "Start making some key positive decisions. Move the needle. Let it compound. Make another. Watch it compound more. Keep fighting the good fight. Eventually, the compounding will be your best friend instead of your worst enemy."

Today's decisions will eventually compound for future you. Make sure it compounds in the direction you desire.

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Exercise the Muscle

During my 10-year stretch as a youth group leader, I taught hundreds of high school students about generosity. It was always one of my favorite topics to engage students with! In one of my favorite talks, I discussed a concept I like to call "exercising the giving muscle."

Think of it like doing the bench press. You wouldn't just walk into the gym and randomly decide to start throwing around 300-pound reps. It would kill you! Instead, you start small. Maybe it's 100 pounds, then 150 pounds. You graduate to 200 pounds, then slowly build your way up to 250 pounds. Each time you exercise those muscles, you get a bit stronger, allowing you to lift more next time.

Giving is much the same way. Inside each of us is a proverbial giving muscle, and like the bench press, we need to start slow. You probably don't wake up randomly one day thinking you're going to give a car away. Every journey of generosity has a beginning.

Early in my journey, I remember how I would constantly scan the horizon, looking for an opportunity to exercise my little baby giving muscle. One of my favorite and game-changing reps came at a local coffee shop. Sarah and I were in line at the register, waiting to order our customary Saturday morning drinks. Two women were at the counter ordering in front of us. I could tell they were tourists.....and I could tell something was wrong. After a bit of eavesdropping, I gathered that they had accidentally left their purses back at the hotel. They were frustrated with themselves, conceding they would need to run back to the hotel before getting their coffee.

"I got you," I said. They looked at me, confused. "We're going to buy your drinks. We got you." We're talking maybe ten bucks. This wasn't some heroic act.....it was just a few lattes. One of the women started tearing up, moved with emotion by our act of generosity. Reminder, it was literally only ten bucks.

That moment moved me. Through my simple act of exercising my giving muscle, I realized how even small acts of generosity have the potential to move the needle in people's lives. That was a big turning point for me. If $10 can move someone like that, what about $100? What about $1,000? What about $______?

That moment stuck with me for years, constantly reminding me that every gift matters. Every act of generosity has the potential to make an impact. My call to action with the high school students was to exercise that muscle. Buy lunch for a friend. Take a peer out for coffee. Surprise a teacher with a fun little gift. Hold the door open for a stranger. Clean the locker room after practice so the coaches or managers don't have to. Exercise that muscle!

That's a good call to action for each of us today as well. Whether big or small, find ways to exercise the giving muscle today!

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Rewriting History

What movie completely changed the way that you see the world? Have you seen any movies that fundamentally changed you? For me, there's one particular movie that messed me up in so many ways. Memento. This film was released 25 years ago and now sits at the #57 slot in IMDB's top-rated movies of all time list.

I don't want to share too much about it, as I suspect far less than half of our readers have seen it. If that's you, go watch it immediately! I just checked, and you can stream it for free on Amazon Prime. The entire concept of the movie is mind-blowing in and of itself, but at its heart is a concept that has long resonated with me: Our very human ability (and inclination) to rewrite history.

I recently spent time with a couple that is struggling. They've always struggled with finances, and money-related stress seems to be playing on repeat in their marriage. Every week, every month, every year. Stuff happens, and they can't get control of it.

Something interesting happened during the conversation. When I asked them to share what sequence of events led them to where they are today, they weaved together a peculiar story. It was a gut-wrenching story of misfortunes, unfairness, and bad breaks. Here's what makes their story peculiar to me. I knew this couple for the entirety of this 10-year stretch they were speaking about, and my recollection is much, much different than the story they shared with me. In my version of the story, each season of misfortune was triggered by a tremendously poor decision on their part. Yes, the pain and suffering they experienced aligns with my recollection, but the causes of said turmoil were a completely different story.

In my opinion, this couple rewrote their history. They didn't do it to lie or manipulate. Rather, their engineered story stems from an attempt (consciously or subconsciously) to soften the feelings of regret and resentment. It sounds wild, but I think each of us has a predisposition to do the same. It doesn't necessarily make us liars, but there's a certain risk in this behavior.

If we rewrite our history to soften our own personal responsibility, it creates the potential for us to repeat our own troubling past. When we don't face reality on reality's terms, we're apt to make the same mistakes again. When we don't force ourselves to experience the consequences of our own actions, it enables us to make more harmful decisions in the future.

This couple in front of me had a choice. They could face reality on reality's terms......or believe the rewritten history. If they continue to believe their rewritten history, there's very little chance they can overcome their behavioral and financial hurdles and end up in a good place. However, if they face reality head-on and commit to doing it differently going forward, there's no limit to the amount of beauty they can experience together.

I speak this concept as if it's easy. It's not. It's simple, but far from easy. However, some of the simplest things in the world are the most powerful. This is one of them.

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A Lesson From 10-Years-Ago Mr. Beast

Mr. Beast. He's the #1 YouTuber of all time. With 443 million subscribers, nobody has dominated the platform quite like him. He's a billionaire and a household name worldwide. Love him or hate him, people cannot deny the influence he's had over the past several years.

I don't regularly consume his content, but the video he posted yesterday quickly grabbed my attention. It's a video he recorded, uploaded, and scheduled 10 YEARS AGO. That's right. A video was published that had been in the YouTube queue for a decade. Here it is, in case you're interested in watching the three-minute clip.

I'm enthralled by this video, but for a different sort of reason. In it, he states that as of the time of recording, he had 8,000 subscribers. He's oozing with confidence, but at the same time, the appearance of so much doubt. He goes on record stating that if he doesn't have at least one million subscribers by the time this video is published, he will have failed. That's a pretty audacious goal, but in hindsight, it's funny (reminder: 443 million subscribers and the biggest YouTuber of all time). But I continue to be struck by the doubt in his voice.

It doesn't have to be one or the other. The majority of the most successful people I know possess both confidence and doubt. They are confident in the vision and their ability to execute, but at the same time, doubt is always on the mind. The fear of failure, impostor syndrome, and a lingering feeling that they are moving beyond their abilities.

I'm not going to self-label myself a success, but I can testify to having these very feelings. I wake up each day oozing with confidence about what I'm about to do, but at the same time, a constant and varying feeling of inadequacy. Can you relate?

I don't think we have to choose one or the other. In fact, I think the combination of both is healthy. If all we have is confidence, we can become arrogant, uncoachable, and stuck in our ways. If all we have is doubt, we hinder our ability to execute on the vision and are more likely to give up in the presence of challenges.

I hope you have a ton of confidence with your mission......but do so with humility and a coachable heart.

It's okay to have doubts, but take the appropriate steps to walk with confidence while you progress down the path.

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Accountability, But With Grace

A few days ago, I shared my It's Gotta Come From Somewhere principle. When we screw up our budget (when, not if), we can't give yourselves a free pass, nor can we take the path of least resistance by robbing our savings, throwing it on a credit card, or melting away our cushion. Instead, once we blow our budget, our immediate mission is to reallocate cash from a different category to fill the gap.

One nuance I don't think I delivered properly was the importance of giving ourselves grace in the process. Don't beat yourself up. Don't linger on the failure for days, weeks, or months. Don't let it define you. Don't get into constant fights about it with your spouse. Forgive yourselves (and each other!) and move on.

It doesn't have to be one or another. We don't have to choose between dealing with the consequences OR giving ourselves grace. Instead, we should deal with the consequences of our mistakes WHILE giving ourselves grace. Grace does not mean the absence of consequences and accountability, just as the presence of consequences and accountability does not mean the absence of grace.

I work with couples who still can't get over $1,000 mistakes they made nine years ago. Nearly a decade later, they still beat themselves and each other up over it. They've long ago dealt with the consequences of their mistakes, but haven't found a way to offer grace yet.

I'll say something profoundly obvious and simple: We can't live a truly meaningful life if we're dwelling on past financial mistakes. Let's say you made a $1,000 screw-up 12 months ago, and you've been carrying it with you. What you're essentially telling yourself is that your happiness and fulfillment are worth a mere $1,000. I don't think that's true, and you probably don't, either, but your attitude toward the mistake says otherwise.

Here's my challenge for you today. Think about your past financial mistakes, regrets, and screw-ups. Think about each one of them. Which ones weigh on your conscience? Which ones linger within you? Please find a way to give yourself grace and move on. You can't undo what's happened in the past, but you can CHOOSE to stop letting it impair your present.

Accountability, yes. Consequences, yet. But always grace, too.

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Thanks For the Pain!

Some days I have to find my writing inspiration, and some days my writing inspiration finds me. Today is an example of the latter. As I was casually scrolling my social media feeds yesterday, I stumbled upon a post by my friend Teresa. She owns a successful business and continues to grow more excellent each day. Here's an excerpt from her post:

"I'd like to once again take a second to thank my previous employer for laying me off. Every knockdown is just an opportunity to come back even stronger."

Her story is wild, and similar to many epic stories of success, it involves profound pain. It would be so easy for her to wish away all the junk that's happened to her, but at the same time, that same junk is what set the table for what has become a beautiful story.

Had she not experienced the pain, uncertainty, and stress of a layoff (with a baby at home, mind you), I'm not sure she would have developed the vision and courage to launch the business she's now blessed with. Comfort might have lulled her into complacency. "Good enough" could have been the motto of her prime years. She might have conceded that mild misery is an acceptable way to traverse this thing called life.

Instead, though, pain met her head-on! The pain knocked her down, forcing her to take a hard look in the mirror; a glimpse in the mirror she might have avoided if things were merely "good enough."

I can relate to Teresa's experience so much, and I have a feeling many of you can, too. One of the worst experiences of my life was being 3.5 years into my dream career and learning that my company was being shut down. I had also been engaged to my wife for just three days (yeah, that was fun). I had my comfortable life all planned out when I woke up that morning, but by the time I went to bed, I was hurt and scared.

Fast forward 17 years, and I can now confidently say that the most profoundly painful experience in my life was the beginning of the most beautiful journey. NONE of what I have today would be without me having gone through the pain, suffering, and uncertainties brought on by that debacle.

Thanks for the pain! Cheers, Teresa! From one hurt friend to another, I'm so glad you're a living, breathing example of what it looks like to use one's pain for good. People are watching. People are noticing. People will continue to be impacted by your example. Keep pursuing excellence!

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When the Stingrays Eat Your Fist

We had a great time adventuring around Chicago yesterday. One of the highlights of the day was spending time at Shedd's Aquarium, one of the best aquariums in the country. I remember going there as a kid, and it lived up to the hype that lives in my head. The kids had a blast, and we saw some pretty remarkable things.

One of my personal highlights was watching the boys feed stingrays. If you've never fed a stingray, it's an intimidating task. You take half of a small dead fish (such as a sardine) and close your fist around it, with a good portion of the fish protruding above your fist. Then, you dunk your fist as far under water as possible so the stingray can swim over the fish. Lastly, the stingray opens its mouth as it swims over, snagging the dead fish out of your closed fist.

On the first pass, one of the stingrays practically swallowed Pax's entire fist while trying to grab the fish out of it. Pax looked in shock, but he quickly gained the confidence to try again. Finn was the same way. What started as a scary endeavor quickly morphed into a fun adventure.

I love manufacturing scary situations, both for myself and for my kids. Not fear for fear's sake, but rather, the opportunity to push ourselves past what we thought was possible.

I'm heading back into the Boundary Waters wilderness next week, ready to again face my fears. This will be my 7th or 8th trip there, and I can't say it ever gets easy. It will be cold, wet, physically challenging, uncomfortable, and mentally draining. I'm dreading it. However, at the same time, I also crave it. I need my system to be shocked. I need to face discomfort in the most direct of ways.

Some of the best growth of my life has happened in the Boundary Waters. It's where I discovered true contentment. It's where I realized life isn't meant to be lived in comfort. It's where I found out there's far more in me than I ever knew.

So when I watched my kids struggle to feed those stingrays, all I could do was smile. They were fighting their own battles, facing their own fears. Ultimately, they prevailed and learned some valuable lessons. I hope to do the same thing next week when I face my fears in the wilderness.

That's my challenge for you today as well. Find ways to get uncomfortable, face fears, push yourself in ways you never knew existed. Every time we force ourselves to do scary things, we become the type of person who does scary things. It might start simple, like feeding a stingray or sleeping in 25-degree weather with no tent, but it can quickly morph into the way we approach the bigger things in life: our career, finances, relationships, and parenting.

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Easier to Just Stay At Home

In just a few hours, I'll be the keynote speaker at an event I've wanted to speak at for several years. Hundreds of the most influential Christian business leaders in our state will be in attendance. I'm really, really, really excited.......

.......and I'm really, really, really nervous. It would be easier to just stay at home. I've been planning this talk in my head for months and preparing for it for weeks. I'm going to share some challenging ideas and encourage some radical shifts when it comes to the pursuit of excellence.

Can I just be frank and tell you I'm terrified? Yeah, it would definitely be easier just to stay at home. If I were to stay home today, there's zero chance I could fall flat on my face and face a giant embarrassment. On the flip side, staying home also ensures I don't make a difference. Staying home would be me turning in my permission slip to help people. Staying home would all but guarantee I don't fulfill my purpose today.

It sure would be easier to stay at home, though!

Whatever you're called to do today, this week, or this month, don't just stay at home. Put yourself out there. Face your fears. Risk failure. Take a swing and see how the chips fall. You might just impact some lives along the way!

As for me, I hope to rejoin you tomorrow morning with less stress, more composure, and a lack of stories about failure and embarrassment. Have a great day, all!

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Noisy But Quiet

I returned home on Friday night from the Nebraska cattle ranch I've been working with. My first order of business yesterday was to spend some time at Northern Vessel. The weather was perfect and the sun was shining.

However, I noticed something the moment I walked into the shop. Despite the place being absolutely packed (which is normal), the energy was off. Hundreds of people flowed in and out of the shop, but at the same time, it felt empty. As one of our baristas put it, "noisy but quiet."

People were still spending time with loved ones. People were still enjoying their free day. People were still consuming tasty beverages. But something was off. You could cut the tension with a knife. Perhaps it was just me? I chatted with a dozen different people, each saying the same thing. Everywhere they've been has felt similar: noisy but quiet.

Maybe that phrase not only applies to rooms, but to people as well. Noisy but quiet. That's how I'm feeling. I have lots going on right now. I am serving countless people. I'm leading businesses. I'm trying to make solid decisions. I'm preparing for speeches. I'm creating content. It's noisy. However, it's quiet. Inside me, it feels quiet. The energy is off. I can cut the tension inside my soul with a knife.

We ALL go through times like these. Different events, seasons, and situations can trigger it for each of us. We might feel perfectly well one moment, and just like that, life feels different the next.

I don't claim to be an expert on this topic, but I'll share the little wisdom I possess today. During times like these, we need to keep moving forward -- step by step, one foot in front of the other. The only other option is to cower and whither away, and nobody wins when we select that option. Therefore, I'll just take one step today. I hope you do the same.

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Leaving a Gift For Future You

I had a ridiculously fun experience yesterday. Nearly four years after one of my clients stepped away from our coaching relationship, they reached out and asked if we could set up a one-time coaching meeting. They are contemplating a huge life decision and wanted a second opinion. I get it, as this is a heavy consideration in front of them, ripe with all sorts of consequences (financial and otherwise).

I understood the general concept and heart behind the question, but I didn't yet know the broader context. Then, as happens before all my coaching meetings, they sent me updated financial information. I opened the Excel file and smiled; I immediately knew something they didn't. In the nearly four years since we last met, they had done precisely as I recommended. They followed my advice nearly verbatim. That was the moment I knew it would be a fun and productive meeting!

My job was easy at that point. Instead of trying to measure all the pros and cons of this seemingly heavy decision, I was able to visually illustrate why not only could they do it, but they should do it. They diligently, intentionally, and consistently structured their finances and invested in such a way that they now have a myriad of options on how to handle the next season of life. That flexibility, in turn, will now unlock one of their dreams. They left a beautiful gift for their future selves, and today, their future selves are able to receive said gift.

This is the mind-bending part about our financial lives. Every decision we make impacts two people: Current us and future us. When current me makes a wise decision, it's a gift for future me. When current me makes a bone-headed decision, it's a curse for future me. Whether we want to admit it or not, future me will always become current me at some point in time. Even 80-year-old future Travis will become current Travis in 2061. A time will come when the future old man me will become current me.....I'll be that guy!

I think about this a lot when I reflect on the wild life choices Sarah and I have made over the past six years. With the benefit of hindsight, there was a wonderful season where then-current Travis and Sarah left a truly blessing-filled gift for future Travis and Sarah. That future Travis and Sarah is us today. We're reaping the blessing of decisions that previous versions of us made.

What gifts or curses are you leaving to your future self? That's an amazing question to ask today. What do you want your future self to have? What does future you need from current you today? Whatever the answer is to that question, today is a good day to give that gift.

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Ugly Scoreboards

Yesterday was Finn and Pax's first flag football game of the season. Pax's excitement was sky-high, and he was hoping to perform at the highest level. On the very first play of the game, he threw an interception that was returned for a touchdown. In a matter of five seconds, they were losing 0-7. Ouch!

I was expecting the worst. Would he start crying? Would he get angry? Would he pout and feel sorry for himself? To my surprise, he seemed fine. His offense went three-and-out on its next possession, and their opponent scored an 80-yard touchdown on the first play of their next drive. Two minutes in, and they were down 0-14.

Later on, he missed a tackle that resulted in a long touchdown. Ok, now he was really going to be down. Except he wasn't. He was on the sideline, hyping up his teammates, bringing encouragement, and celebrating every little win. Who is this guy?!?! They went into halftime down 0-21, and he seemed oddly jolly.

As the second half unfolded, his team dominated. Pax moved to defense, where he made himself present on nearly every snap. On the other side of the ball, we scored four touchdowns in a row. Each time we scored, Pax sprinted onto the field and wildly celebrated his teammates. It was a remarkable sight, and I was so proud of him. We won 28-21, and I was extremely proud of both boys' efforts.

The most profound part of that experience for me was watching Pax stay positive, encouraging, and confident despite all the adversity that he endured. He was a stellar teammate and the ultimate hype man. He could have let any one of those events keep him down, yet he persevered.

After our post-game ice cream, I told him that was a perfect analogy for life. We will absolutely get knocked down over and over and over. That's never in question. What's in question, though, is what we'll do about it. Will we give up? Will we cower? Will we be a victim? Will we make excuses? Will we complain? Will we blame others? Or. Or. Or will we get up and keep moving forward?

So many people I'm working with are throwing pick-sixes. They just got scored on. They just gave up a long touchdown. They just missed a play. They are at halftime, down 0-21. They are getting their butts kicked by life. But what happens from here on out is still to be written.

Wherever you're at today, whether down 0-21 or on the winning side of the ledger, the future is still in your hands. Please don't let the past mistakes, unfortunate situations, or embarrassing failures keep you down. Today is a great day to get up, dust yourself off, and put some points on the scoreboard of life.

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From the Ashes

One of my friends experienced something beyond horrifying. They've been through it all, and somehow stand upright on the other side of it. I can't even imagine the amount of pain they've endured.

During a recent conversation, I shared that I'm hopeful and confident that beauty will eventually rise from the ashes of this chaos. Over the subsequent 45 minutes, they shared beauty, after beauty, after beauty.

Watching their friends, family, and neighbors rally around them with unconditional love, support, and generosity. They've never felt more loved than they do now.

Speaking of generosity, the love they've experienced from those around them has unlocked an entirely new understanding of what it means to be joyfully and sacrificially generous. Some of their perspectives on giving have been rewired, and the potential consequences of this shift are exciting!

Watching their kids grow in their faith, resilience, and perseverance. Nobody wishes their children to experience pain and suffering, but to see faith bloom during this season has been a tremendous blessing.

Gaining a newfound outlook on life, relationships, finances, and what it means to pursue meaning over money.

Feeling a deep sense of gratitude. Not dwelling on all the things we don't have, but being sincerely grateful for all we do.

Beauty, through the ashes. Sometimes we get more than we bargained for, and we'd give anything to undo it, but beauty will always rise from the ashes.

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Carving a Path

According to society, our younger generation is screwed. They will never save money. They will never buy a house. They will never retire. They will never be able to survive without having 3-4 jobs. They will never have a standard of living that resembles the generations before them. At least that's the narrative I hear on a daily basis. 

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with one such young adult. 23 years old. Limited education. Comes from a family with few financial resources. Lives in a humble apartment. 

Oh yeah, and he will make more income this year than my family. No, he's not an influencer. No, he didn't invent anything. No, he wasn't given a cushy job by someone with influence. 

He developed a blue-collar skill and decided to sell it to people. After doing that a bunch of times, he did it a bunch more. He saved, saved, and saved. Then he bought a van. Then he hired a few people to help him. Then he hired a few more. Today, he has an entire team that serves people all around the city. He's crushing it! Reminder, he's 23. 

As he shared updates about his journey, I couldn't help but smile. He created something out of nothing. He carved his own unique path. He put in the work, made sacrifices, and figured it out one failure at a time. There's nothing special about him other than his willingness to do what others won't. In today's marketplace, that's a superpower. 

We live in a country that allows each of us to carve a unique path. There's literally unlimited opportunity…..if we're willing to pursue it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with choosing a traditional, more linear path. That can be an awesome and fulfilling life, and many people around me are living examples of that. However, if you're feeling discontent with your status, standing, or progress with your current path, always remember that alternative paths exist. An entire alternative universe exists! A universe that you're the author of.

I hope your life, both at work and outside of it, is fulfilling and meaningful. I hope you wake up every day excited for what's to come. If you're not, though, I encourage you to muster the courage to carve a different path. It's right there in front of you.

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Deeper Than We Think

I received a bevy of criticism after yesterday's post. To summarize, I shared the story of a friend who is continually scared to spend money on wants because, all his life, he has been told that spending on things we don't need (especially expensive things) is "irresponsible." I challenged him to buy a $500+ ticket to watch his favorite team play in person for the first time ever.

The criticism:

• "You're encouraging people to be irresponsible!"

• "You should be telling people to save money not waste it."

• "Good luck retiring someday."

Do you see the irony in this? I write a piece about how a grown man who has done a wonderful job with finances is terrified to spend money on anything fun because all he's been told his whole life is that spending on wants is "irresponsible," then immediately receive a string of responses telling me that he's being irresponsible (and I'm as equally irresponsible for egging him on).

This stuff runs deep, guys! In our culture, we tend to hear the stories about people who are out there recklessly spending; it's almost become a joke. They are certainly out there! Part of the reason we talk about it is that it's so public. We often see the public side of these decisions: big, shiny, new, exotic, and fancy purchases plastered all over social media.

However, those who suffer on the other side of this coin typically suffer in silence. They often feel guilty, sometimes embarrassed, about not being able to spend money on wants. Years and years of criticism are taking their toll. Those words heard when they were children and teenagers sound as loud in their heads today as they did when first spoken.

A few encouragements today:

• If this is you, you're not alone. Find a way to break through, even if just something small. A start is a start.

• If you have influence over someone, and I suspect you do, encourage them to spend some of their resources onwants. Not all.....some.

• Lean into YOUR values. Don't spend money just to spend money. Find what matters most to you, and invest those dollars there.

• Enjoy the process!

• Have an awesome day.

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