A New Gear

It was just another Zoom chat, or so I thought. I recently spent some time with a couple of buddies on a Zoom chat. Sure, I'd prefer spending time in person, but Zoom is the best we can do when thousands of miles separate us. Right in the middle of our time together, these two men challenged me in a way that I wasn't expecting. It surprised me, but at the same time, it also pushed my limits in ways I never thought possible. Before that call, I thought one thing about myself and my capacities. Then, by the time we wrapped up, I had a different perspective.

In the hours after that call, I realized I had way more in me than my little mind perceived. That single call catapulted me into a new dimension, with new possibilities, and even more potential impact.

I debated what this post should be about. Should it be about the power of relationships and surrounding ourselves with people who will push us? Should it be about the idea that we have way more in us than we often know? Should it be about the need for each of us to step into a higher calling? Should it be about the importance of just continuing to move forward, regardless of how far we've already come? Well, I think it's about all of those.

I have friends who push me harder than often seems reasonable. I thank them for that!

I thought I had given as much as humanly possible in a certain area of my life. I was wrong; there's more.

I know what I'm called to do, but at the same time, I'm realizing that my mind is thinking too small. The caller is higher and bigger than I originally believed.

I sometimes pat myself on the back, celebrating just how far I've come. While that's true (and good!), it doesn't negate the need for me to keep going. The work isn't finished, and good enough is never good enough. The standards need to keep rising.

This post feels a little abstract for my taste, but as I reread my words, I feel like this is what I'm meant to post today. For some reason I cannot explain, this just feels right. I hope the right people see it and it makes a difference. That will be a win! Have an awesome day, and I'll see you again tomorrow!

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A Different Person

I ran into a close friend yesterday who had been following the blog over the last week while I was in Colombia. He asked a very interesting question: "How do trips like that impact you?"

In short, I sincerely believe I return from those types of trips as a different person. When we leave our personal bubbles and allow ourselves to be uncomfortable, it stretches us in ways that are hard to fully communicate.

Those types of experiences challenge everything we know to be true, everything we take for granted, and every bias we use to engage the world around us. Those types of experiences also call into question who we are as people, what our place in the world is, and how we can best serve the greater good. So yeah, I don't think it's hyperbole to say that we return as different people after trips like that.

My first trip out of the country was at age 26; to England and Ireland. Despite both of those countries being Westernized and English-speaking, that trip profoundly changed me. My small little mind couldn't believe how big the world was, yet at the same time, how small it was. That trip showed me that no matter what I thought I knew, I actually knew nothing. Fast forward twenty years, and I think I've been to upwards of 40 countries. Each trip, each location, and each experience changed me in a different way.

How did this trip change me? My takeaways are pretty clear:

• Even the biggest, most audacious dreams are possible. We don't get to decide what's possible. Only God can decide.

• Time is but a number. No matter how long or short something will theoretically take, reality doesn't care about projections. It will happen when it's supposed to happen.

• People don't have to be world-changers to change the world. Some of the largest impacts come from the smallest, most humble beginnings.

• Life is so, so fragile. We can't take our days for granted. Any day could be THE day.

• There are a lot of dark forces in the world, darker than we often see with the naked eye or while stuck in our bubbles.

• Relationships are the key to everything. I've known this, but this trip was another reminder of the sheer power and beauty of relationships.

• Everyone has a role. Each person on our team brought specific, non-replicable roles to the table. None of us could have filled the others' roles. Regardless of your role, it matters. Don't judge. Don't compare. Don't minimize yourself.

It's going to take me a few weeks to fully process everything that happened on this trip. However, it's safe to say that I'll never be the same after it. I'm a different person. God willing, a better person.

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¿Por Qué?

One of our Palmful of Coffee team members is named Alejandra, from Colombia. Early 20s, ministry background, trained and formally educated coffee expert, with a deep passion for all things coffee. She is a true scholar of the art and science of coffee production, from the plant to the cup. Her role in Palmful of Coffee is to create, uphold, and maintain standards for the quality, treatment, and execution of the coffee collection process. In other words, she's the primary driver of operational excellence. She and I have spent a lot of time together over the past few days and engaged in many (interpreter-assisted) conversations. Eventually, I noticed a trend. After I would talk, she would respond, "¿Por qué?"

Translated into English: "Why?" I'd share a few more thoughts. "¿Por qué?" again.

I joked with her that I knew "¿Por qué?" was coming. She apologized. I told her that I absolutely love it. Before I could share my perspective on her curiosity, she said that she has a deep desire to understand what's really going on, where people's hearts truly are, and why things are the way they are. I couldn't have said it better myself!

Her "¿Por qué?" question took us from the truth to the truth behind the truth. The why behind the why. The real truth. The reason behind the reason. That one question takes conversations and understandings from surface-level to something much, much deeper. I'm so glad she asked, as she prompted me to share much deeper meaning behind some of my actions. Without her curiosity, I suspect I would have let it remain at a surface level. I gave her the reason, but she wanted the reason behind the reason.

"¿Por qué?" "Why?" Regardless of the language we're speaking, this simple but powerful question has the power to force us to a deeper level. Obviously, this applies to relationships, but it also applies to ourselves. When was the last time we stopped to ask ourselves "Why?" or "¿Por qué?"

What's the reason behind the reason? Why are we REALLY making this decision? Why do we REALLY care about this? What hidden motivations are REALLY at play? If we can go one or two levels deeper with ourselves, as Alejandra did with me, we'd be so much better off. We would quit playing games with ourselves, telling the person in the mirror one thing while actually being guided by something (or someone) different. We'd stop making decisions based on others' opinions and judgments and start making them based on what's truly best for our own callings and families. The reason behind the reason is always the reason. We need to listen to that.

I wish I had half as much wisdom in my early 20s as Alejandra does. Good thing it's never too late! I need to keep asking "¿Por qué?" more often, and I encourage you to do the same. Have a great day!

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No Clue

A few days ago, one of my business partners asked me for my guidance on an important topic. "No clue," I responded. I wasn't trying to be dismissive, but I literally had no clue. "I have no value to add to this conversation." I wasn't trying to play stupid.....I was stupid. However, I think this is the way we all should handle more things in life.

We aren't - can't - be experts in all things. If we're experts in all things, then we're likely experts in nothing. The reason I'm able to speak with such conviction in xyz areas of life, finances, or business is that I'm equally as willing to admit shortcomings in others. I know what I know, and I don't know what I don't know. The key is being willing and able to recognize what we don't know. And on the topic at hand with my business partners, I had no true value to add.

If we're being pure with this concept, it should apply to all areas of life: business, work, friendships, and even marriage. My wife asks me dozens of questions per day. Either I have a convicted answer for her.....or I don't. "I don't know" is a perfectly acceptable answer, and Sarah has grown accustomed to me shooting her straight, one way or another. Sometimes, she's surprised by the things I say "I don't know" to, and vice versa. But as a husband, I owe it to her to be honest not only with her, but with myself. If she and I collectively don't know the answer to a question, it's our responsibility to seek outside counsel.

Following this process, regardless of the topic, allows us to grow and succeed. The alternative approach can lead to some pretty harsh realities. I can't even fairly convey how many people I meet who live with sincere conviction on all sorts of topics they have no business being convicted about. When that happens, poor, questionable, and dangerous decisions get made. Decisions that have far-reaching and long-lasting implications.

It's a pretty simple takeaway today. Be willing to say "no clue." Have the humility to admit you don't know something, then the added humility to seek out the answer from someone who does. The most successful people I know don't know all the answers; they have the humility and wherewithal to know when they don't.

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Threading the B-Dubs Needle

One of the recent developments of my physical health journey is the introduction of macro tracking into my diet. I've written multiple pieces about the importance of staging and stacking habits, and tracking macros is the most recent step in my own journey. I recently had an experience at Buffalo Wild Wings that shed light on a crazy dynamic in nutrition.

Picture this. We're on the back end of a long traveling lacrosse day. We haven't eaten much, and the boys are getting hangry. Someone suggests we hit a BWW establishment on the way home. I open my food-tracking app to see what good options might be for me. Ultimately, I chose a great option that isn't exactly what I would have normally ordered, but it would be tasty. Meanwhile, the family orders the bottomless apps special. Chips and queso, onion rings, mozzarella sticks....it keeps on coming.

I did a good job! By the time I walked out of there, I had limited myself to about 1,200 calories with good protein. Here's what struck me as interesting. Had I eaten what I normally would have, that would have easily exceeded 3,000 calories. More than my daily calorie needs, in one meal, without even trying!!! Wow, that's amazing!

Over the past few days, my eating has been so clean that it's actually been difficult to eat enough food to meet my targets. I eat, eat, and eat more, but since the food is so clean, it's hard to even eat enough.

What a weird dynamic. When we just eat whatever we want, we easily blow past what we should consume, and if we're eating well, it's hard to eat enough. That's a hard needle to thread!

I think much of life operates this way. Without even knowing it, our casual actions are sabotaging our journey right under our nose. One decision here, another decision there. They aren't big deals, we tell ourselves. Yet, these decisions are silently crippling us day by day. And similar to my little macro tracking experiment, tracking our behavior is a great way to catch these little hidden nuances.

When we give ourselves clarity, we collect information. When we collect information, we make better choices. When we make better choices, we unlock better outcomes. It's the circle of life. My best encouragement for you today is to give yourself some much-needed clarity. Get the information you can use. Make choices that push yourself forward. Unlock the outcomes you deserve.

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Parable of the Oat Milk

We have an oat milk problem at Northern Vessel. For the past four years, we've continually experienced these sharp little moments when we've simply run out of it (or nearly ran out). Considering this ingredient is the base of our most famous and best-selling drink (oat milk cold brew latte), running out of oat milk is a disastrous scenario. As recently as a month ago, TJ and I spent one Saturday afternoon driving to every single Target in the metro, hoping to scoop up as many oat milk cartons as possible. With a lot of time and a little luck, we barely scraped together enough to finish our batch of cold brew lattes.

As I continue to grow into my new role inventory management and vendor relationships, I realize that what we've done in the past is some version of white-knuckling. We see we're running low on product, factor in all the supply-and-demand variables we can think of, mathematically calculate how much end product we'll need, mathematically calculate how much oat milk that necessitates, place an order, and hope the delivery timing is in our favor. There are about 10 factors that go into these calculations, each allowing for the possibility of error, and many of which are contextual guesses. That doesn't even include the delivery timing implications.

In comes me. I have a different idea. A simpler idea. After all, simpler is better......always! Here's the new math:

1. How many cases of oat milk can we store at any given time? 56 (about 168 gallons worth). This is approximately three days' worth of need for us.

2. How many cases of oat milk do we have left today? At the end of each business day, someone counts how manycases we have remaining and reports it to our inventory management Slack channel. Let's say the answer is 20. We have 20 cases left.

3. How many cases are needed to restock us fully? 56 cases - 20 cases = 36 cases. 36 cases would fully stock us again.

4. By 9PM, we place our order for next-day delivery of 36 cases of oat milk. If we are perfect in our execution and our supplier is also perfect, there's 0% chance we ever run out again. If we forget to order or our supplier has an issue, this process still makes it very likely we never run out. No messy math, no brain damage, no forgotten factors.

Simple always wins! It's funny, as I received some pushback on these types of processes internally. Some say it's too simple, lacking the context of all the craziness happening around us. My response to these types of critiques: "Even more reason to keep it simple! We can't afford to let all the changing variables jeopardize our supply chain!"

This really isn't about oat milk. This is a parable for everything in our lives. Our gut instinct is to always make things more complicated, more complex, and more sophisticated. This is ironic, as simpler almost always beats complex. Simple allows us to keep our heads on straight, removes brain damage from all the mental math, and allows for repetition. It's one thing to get something right once, and an entirely other thing to need to repeat it over and over. Find a way to make your life simpler. Then, after executing, find another! Such a great way to approach this crazy life of ours.

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A Middle Finger To Our Future Selves

I remember speaking to a colleague nearly 20 years ago. He was probably in his early 30s at the time, several years ahead of me in his career. While I wasn't necessarily the wisest steward with my financial resources back then, he and I shared many conversations that stopped me in my tracks. These conversations usually centered on the idea that we don't know whether we'll even be alive when we're older, so we might as well "enjoy life" while we're young. And by "enjoy life," he meant spend, spend, spend. He hated the idea of saving, or heaven forbid, investing. If he had it, he was going to blow it on something fun.

Fast forward 20 years, and I recently ran into him. He's now in his 50s, visibly older than when we last connected (as a few decades of life will do). This time, though, his attitude was different. He was asking me about retirement, investing ideas, and the worry about likely not having enough.

To his detriment, he lived out the principles he preached way back then. He spent, spent, and spent, giving little regard for his future self. In fact, I'd argue he gave his future self a hefty middle finger. It turns out, though, that one day, our present self becomes that future self. Today, he's the future self that younger him so blatantly disrespected.

He's scared....as he should be. His options are limited.....as expected. He feels trapped.....which is understandable. Now, his 50-something self is wondering how to navigate not only the present, but the future. He lived a lot of life in his younger days, but his current and future quality of life are very much in question.

This is a tough situation. I have so much empathy for people who face these realities. Unfortunately, I don't have a magic wand to wave for them. I can't undo their past mistakes. There's no magic pill or secret strategy to bridge decades of gaps.

No matter how old you are today, future you is depending on current you to make wise choices. Sacrificial choices. Loving choices. Be a good steward, not only with your finances, but with your body, relationships, children, marriage, and mental health. Future us is pleading for us to be better and do better. Their livelihood depends on it, and soon enough, that will be our present self. Be good to him/her.

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The “Dumbest” Person In the Room

There are a few people in my life who share a few similar traits:

1. They continually surround themselves with people they believe are smarter than they are.

2. They position themselves as the dumbest person in the room.

3. They ask countless questions, ridiculous or otherwise.

These are interesting people to me. There's a quiet confidence that comes from someone who intentionally surrounds themselves with rock stars. There's also a humility that comes from not having to say the smartest thing or act impressively. They are comfortable in their own skin, willing to ask any and all questions without fear of embarrassment.

All of these people share a fourth common trait. Want to know what it is? They are actually the smartest people in the room. Perhaps not by education, or pedigree, or title. Rather, they are the smartest people in the room by the sheer fact that they are willing to ask ALL the questions, surround themselves with rock stars, and absorb all context that comes their way. Through experience, curiosity, and a willingness to be humble, they've quietly ratcheted up the wisdom totem pole and now sit above most people. They are the "dumbest" people in the room, yet at the same time, are easily the smartest people in the room.

I love these types of people so much, and hope to one day be more like them. I have a lot of work to do, but over time, I'd like to work my way there. I'm probably better at this than I used to be, but when I see how some of these people approach life and people, I am humbly reminded of how much work I have to do.

Whatever you're doing today, I hope you're the "dumbest" person in the room. Soak it up. Enjoy the process. Absorb it like a sponge. That's how we get better, and in turn, make a larger impact.

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Systems and Standards

One of my friends, a fellow business owner, recently asked me what our goals are at Northern Vessel. We've never actually set any goals. In fact, we never discuss goals. There's no set of expectations for what we'd like to accomplish. Instead, it's more aspirational, directional. Continue to push the boundaries of excellence and find ways to exhibit hospitality in new and unexpected ways. To what end? No end. We're seeking the journey, not the destination.

This entire conversation reminds me of a quote I heard about a decade ago. "We don't rise to our goals. We fall to our systems and standards."

The NFL is a great example. All 32 teams start the season with the same goal: to win the Super Bowl. However, only one team will accomplish that goal. It's not that one team has a better, more cemented goal. Rather, a handful of teams simply have better systems and standards. Eventually, through the ebbs and flows of the season, each team falls to its systems and standards, and the team with the best systems and standards (plus a little luck) prevails.

Systems and standards. That's something we obsess about at Northern Vessel. It's an ongoing discussion with our team. It's a never-ending pursuit that impacts every guest interaction and every drink we prepare.

Saturday was the second week of the Des Moines Farmers' Market, the country's second-largest market. I heard there were north of 25,000 people present. Our team was excited and well-prepared. After spending three years obsessing about our systems and standards (including building our wonderful team), they are clearer now than ever.

I've attended many market Saturdays, and it never ceases to amaze me how locked-in and excellent the team is. Despite a seemingly unending line stretching 100+ people deep, our team strives to meet each guest with enthusiasm and hospitality. This week, the team served one drink approximately every 13 seconds for 5 hours. It's a pace that still boggles my mind, and I'm continually grateful for every person who decides to spend part of their market Saturday engaging with us. It's never lost on me, nor do I ever take it for granted, when a market patron decides to get into a coffee line (for a vendor that sells just one drink option) that wraps around the block.

I still feel like I need to do a better job at setting goals, but every time I feel that wave of guilt, I come back to the idea of systems and standards. The relentless pursuit of excellence. I don't know where we'll be a year from now, but regardless of what that looks like, I hope the systems and standards are higher than ever, we pursue an even grander version of excellence, and the hospitality pushes the boundaries more than ever.

Systems and standards. Whatever you're jumping into this week, please keep this in the back of your mind. We'll all eventually fall to our systems and standards, so we ought to raise them in the meantime.

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The Confrontation Awaits

One of my kids has a fear. To me, it's a silly fear, but to him, it's crippling. Over the past few days, he's spent much time trying to avoid facing this fear. Heck, if he had his way, he could simply avoid it altogether for the next 80 years and die a happy man.

Secretly, I'd love to find ways, organically or not, to create opportunities for him to face his fear head-on. The moment he conquers this fear will be the moment he unlocks something powerful inside him. It reminds me of a conversation he and I shared a while back:

"Dad, what are you most scared of?"

"Public speaking."

"That's weird, you speak all the time. Don't people pay you money to speak?"

"Yeah, they do!"

"Why do you do that if it's your biggest fear?"

"Why do you think I started? I did it BECAUSE it was my biggest fear."

I won't sit here on my high horse claiming to be the most courageous person in the world. I'm just a dude with a bunch of silly fears who has a track record of getting better and more impactful each time I face these fears head-on.

As I see it, our fears are often one of the few barriers between us and our dreams. Between us and our callings. Between us and our meaning. If that's true, why are we going to let a silly little fear be what stops us?!?!

On most days, I spend time with people who are trying to decide whether to let their fears hold them back from living their best life. Sometimes, the person on the other end of those conversations is the person I'm staring at in the mirror.

Fear is inevitable. It won't go away. We won't grow out of it. Instead, it shifts. It takes different forms. It manifests itself in new ways. But it's here to stay. If that's true, we might as well face it head-on!

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Something From Everyone

A young guy recently reached out to me, more than twenty years my junior. He was dealing with some heavy stuff, and he asked me to share insights from my experience with similar trials. In other words, he was looking to get something from me. That's how the conversation started, anyway.

Fast forward nearly an hour, and I ultimately felt like I got just as much (or more) from him than he received from me. What he lacked in age and experience, he made up for in perspective and attitude. I was humbled by his approach to these weighty topics, and I found myself leaning into his words.

I've been thinking about that conversation a lot. It's wild that the words of a young man approximately half my age stuck with me and challenged me to think about things differently. That's a wild concept. In some ways, it reminds me of an extraordinarily intense scene from the movie Good Will Hunting. Matt Damon plays a wily young man who's loaded with potential but rife with emotional baggage and anger issues. Robin Williams plays the role of a seasoned counselor, brought in to shepherd Matt Damon's character along the journey in hopes of a better tomorrow.

In an unexpected twist, the troubled young man unexpectedly unlocked something powerful and beautiful in the wise old man. We can get something from everyone. It doesn't matter who we are or who they are. I think we forget that more times than not. Perhaps we would all be better off if we embrace those conversations as two-way streets rather than narrow one-ways.

Grateful for my young friend.

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Oops, Wrong Highway

I recently met with a mid-40s couple who live a great life. By all accounts, they appear to have won the lottery of life. The keyword is "appear." Don't get me wrong, they are sincerely doing very well, and by many people's definition of success, they would get an A+ grade.

However, when I asked them what their dreams are in life, they shared goals that are somewhat (or largely) perpendicular to their current actions, decisions, and direction. In other words, they say they want one thing, but they are actually pursuing another. They are driving on the wrong highway!!!

I visually drew this dynamic on a whiteboard, and their jaws dropped. Not because I said something profound, but because it immediately struck them how obvious it was when a light was shone on it. Their immediate reaction was something along the lines of, "Well, we know what changes we need to make!"

I loved that for them. They are so clear about their dreams and callings, and now, for the first time in nearly two decades, they will start making intentional decisions to drive down the right highway (instead of hoping they accidentally get there someday).

This is a topic my wife and I talk about a handful of times per year. Are our choices (work, money, parenting, relationships, etc.) aligning with our vision for what we want in the future? If yes, amazing. If not, we have some difficult choices to make.

I think these are fantastic questions to ask ourselves:

• What do I want my life to look like in 10, 20, or 30 years?

• Are my current decisions and behaviors leading me toward or away from that desired destination?

• What changes do I need to make to reorient myself to my mission and/or accelerate my progress toward it?

Give it a shot! I hope you find it as enlightening (and humbling) as we do.

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What About the Others?

I've received a lot of fun feedback on yesterday's post about my former youth group kid who is actively living her 15-year-old self's dream. The primary objective of my post was to encourage people to follow through with their callings, regardless of what others (i.e., critics or doubters) may say.

One reader asked the following question via e-mail: "What about the others? What about all the people who tried following your advice and ultimately failed? For every 1 success story, what if there are 3 failure stories?"

I'm not naive to the reality that not every one of our dreams is going to pan out every single time. That's one of the reasons I often phrase it as the "pursuit of meaning or the "pursuit of work that matters." Everything in life worth doing involves the risk of us falling flat on our faces.

I love this blog reader's question, though, as it's so, so relevant to the conversation. I don't think this person was trying to be a pessimist or a Debbie Downer. More of a realist, if you will. In short, here's how I would answer the question: If we fail in the pursuit of the thing we desire most, then at least we know. Failure isn't a poison, but regret is. The regret of not trying. The regret of wondering "what if." The regret of not seizing the moment. The regret of not going for it. The regret of never knowing if we could have achieved it. Regret is one of the biggest toxins we humans can consume, and many of us consume it often.

Let's say my friend is correct in that only 1 out of 4 people actually achieve the goal. Does that mean the other three are losers? I'd argue that, while they didn't achieve what they set out to, at least they can live the rest of their lives without the regret of not knowing. That, in my opinion, is worth a ton!

No regrets. It doesn't mean we won't face pain, suffering, or loss, but it hopefully means we won't spend the rest of our days wondering what could have been. That is so, so important.

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Obsess About the Inputs

One of the primary principles I teach to families and businesses is counter-cultural. As a society, we're obsessed with outputs. How much profit a company makes. How many clients we can attain. How much we'll make on the other side of that next promotion. The grade we get on our report card. If our team won. Regardless of the arena of life, we're obsessed with the outputs.

I hate obsessing over outputs. Instead, I suggest we ought to obsess about the inputs and measure the outputs. The outputs are the outputs, which we often cannot control. However, we can absolutely control (or at least influence) the inputs. In fact, this is one of the primary drivers of Northern Vessel. When we first started the company, TJ mentioned that one of his desired outputs was to someday sell 400 cups in a day. As he explained, most coffee shops sell 100-200 cups per day. If we could ever find a way to get to 400 cups, that would be massive.

Rather than trying to sell 400 cups in a day (the output), we put 100% of our time, resources, and energy into the inputs:

• Creating an excellent product.

• Developing systems to ensure consistency.

• Cultivating a team culture that would allow that to happen.

• Building the means to scale volume efficiently.

• Practicing world-class hospitality.

• Curating a brand that people can recognize and relate to.

It took more than two years, but after obsessing about the inputs day in and day out, we finally hit 400 cups in a day! It was such a fun accomplishment. We measured it....and celebrated.

Then, something happened. We averaged 400 for a week. Then 400 for a month. Then, in a wild turn of events, we averaged 400 for a year. We even had a day we served 500 cups! In January, we sold 600 cups in a day! A week later, we sold 700 cups in a day! Then, just a few weeks ago, we sold 800 cups in a day! Our brains are melting....

We dreamed of someday serving 400 cups in a single day, and now live in a reality where 800 cups are on the table. We NEVER obsessed about selling 400 (never mind 800) cups. We obsessed over the inputs.

The same goes for all areas of life. My kids had lacrosse and football games this weekend. Frankly, I don't care whether they win or lose. I don't even care about what individual accomplishments they achieve during the games. I obsess about four inputs:

• Play hard.

• Practice good sportsmanship.

• Listen and obey.

• Have fun.

If they control those four inputs, they won (regardless of the scoreboard). Obsess about the inputs, measure the outputs.

This principle is about as counter-cultural as anything I talk about here, but I believe in it so much. Control what we can control, and let the cards fall as they may. Words to live by. Therefore, no matter the outcomes you experienced today or this week, focus your energies on the inputs that go into it, not the eventual outcome. If you do that long enough, you just might like the outcomes.

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New Fear Unlocked

It's been a few months since I've been scared out of my mind. One would think I'm finally on the other side of crushing fear, but alas, here we are again. Tomorrow, I'll be leading a 4-hour workshop for 25+ Christian non-profit organizations; some of the most prominent, impactful organizations in my state. The topic of the workshop: The relentless pursuit of God-honoring excellence.

As I was telling Sarah about the workshop, she asked a very innocent question: "How much of those four hours will you be on stage? 30 minutes? An hour?"

"All 4 hours! It's literally just me!"

Her eyes got really, really big; I think she got scared for me! I don't blame her. This is far bigger than me. Heck, I should be in the audience learning from some of these organizations. I look up to many of these people and would be honored to sit in front of them for four hours to learn. Yet, here we are, in reversed roles, with them in the chairs and me on stage with a microphone. Yeah, you bet I'm terrified!

I'm about to reach the point where I wonder why I said "yes" to this. My life would be so much simpler, safer, and stress-free had I NOT signed up for this endeavor. I could have avoided the risk of utter failure. I could have eliminated the possibility of letting people down. I could have reduced the risk of a massive heart attack striking me at any moment.

There's a shadow side to that, though. Saying "no" would have removed any possibility I have of making a difference, moving the needle, or otherwise positively impacting people. Saying "no" would have been an intentional forfeiture of my opportunity and responsibility to use my skills, experience, and insights to serve others. Saying "no" would have debilitated my ability to gain experience and personally grow.

No, I'm not a fan of my heart possibly ripping through my chest, and I'd sure appreciate a full night's sleep (instead of restless hours and constant nightmares), but I couldn't be more grateful or excited for this opportunity.

Have you recently experienced self-inflicted terror? If so, congrats, as both you and the world are better for you having done that. If not, perhaps now is as good a time as any to say "yes" to something bigger than you. Unlock something totally new within you. Make an impact. Use whatever experience, talent, insight, and wisdom you have to offer the world. It might suck in the lead-up (and maybe even in the moment!), but you'll soon look back as one of the most wonderful decisions of your life.

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Watching and Walking

Finn and Pax had their first lacrosse game of the season yesterday. Pax was beyond excited. When I asked him where he fits within his new teammates, he declared that he's "probably the best." Interesting, but I was waiting to see for myself. When the game started, he looked anything but the best. He looked timid, scared. Often, he was watching the action from afar, walking up and down the field. Watching and walking. Needless to say, he really struggled.

After the first game, I attempted to talk to him about this. If he really wants to be a difference maker, he needs to put in the effort. Watching and walking won't cut it. If he truly desires to be a good player, he needs to get into the action and hustle. The second game was modestly better. While he still looked timid and somewhat scared, he seemed to have a bit more pep in his step. He got more aggressive, hustled more, and put himself into the action.

As I reflected on the day during our two-hour drive home, I couldn't help but think about how many people live their lives this way: watching and walking. Many folks fail to get into the action, and when they do, it resembles anything but hustling. They typically aren't doing this to be lazy, but rather feel kind of like Pax did yesterday: timid and scared. People sometimes don't know what to do to move themselves forward, so their natural response is to watch and walk.

I think the same advice I gave Pax applies to most situations. Even if we don't know exactly what we're doing, getting into the action and being aggressive is always a winning formula. Sometimes we just need to get into the flow to find our way. I stress this to clients all the time. We all have a choice to make, and not making a choice is still a choice. Standing still is a voluntary action.

Whenever I'm sizing someone up and trying to discern how well I think they will do, it's not about how smart, educated, or experienced they are. Instead, I look for the action. I looked for the aggression. I look for tells that they will get scrappy. Once I see those tell-tale symptoms, I know it's game over!

Don't watch. Don't walk. Even if you're timid or scared. Even if you don't necessarily know the answer. Even if you don't know the right answers. Sometimes, just getting into the game and being aggressive is enough to shake loose what ails you.

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The Most Naive and Irresponsible Person In the World

I can usually see the backlash coming, but not this time. After publishing my post titled "Of Course You Did," I was unexpectedly met with a wave of criticism and unsubscribes. To summarize all the terrible things I said, I was advocating that we should always carry ourselves with a posture of generosity. Every moment of life is an opportunity to be generous.

In addition to the most unsubscribes than I've ever experienced from a single day's post, I received three separate direct criticisms:

• I'm telling people to be financially irresponsible.

• I'm a "terrible husband and an equally terrible father."

• I'm "naive."

What does it tell us about our culture when my advocacy for open-handed generosity is met with "irresponsible," "naive," and concerns about my competency as a husband and father? People often ask why I spend so much time talking about generosity in my content. This is why. We have a loooooong way to go as a culture when it comes to how we perceive and handle our money (especially through the lens of generosity).

If the ideas I advocate for make me naive and irresponsible, I guess my new dream in life is to become the most naive and irresponsible person in the world! Further, I deeply desire for you to become one of the most naive and irresponsible people in the world, too!!! Together, through our shared naivety and irresponsibility, perhaps we can collectively bend the culture and help make our entire society more naive and irresponsible.

Would you like to join me? It's so easy! I'll give you a step-by-step instruction:

1. Find a way to be generous today, and actually follow through.

2. Repeat.

3. Keep repeating.

4. Watch it change people's lives.

5. Watch it change your own life.

6. Repeat until your last breath.

I hope you have an awesome, naive, and irresponsible day!

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Like a Little Kid

Like many little boys and girls, I was obsessed with space travel as a kid. I marveled at the stars, constantly curious about what was up there. I reveled in the stories of space shuttles, moon landings, and the vastness of a world apart from Earth.

Much time has passed since those days, and I'm not longer a little kid, but watching the recent Artemis II coverage has reignited that little kid inside me. I find myself again staring up at the sky, curious as ever. Every photo and video clip of the crew's current mission excites me in profound ways.

Last night, we did a family movie night: Apollo 13. My boys watched intently, stress oozing from their pores. Unlike many of us, they didn't actually know how the story ends. They engaged in the film with the same wonder, curiosity, and awe that I had when I was their age.

I couldn't help but think how absurd the mere idea of space travel is. It's as audacious an idea as a human can muster. Yet all it took was enough people crazy enough to believe it was possible......then having the courage to bring it to life.

That's how I feel about life. Are we crazy enough to dream the dreams of absurdity? Are we brave enough to take the appropriate steps to find out if it's possible? One of the main things that separates those who do and those who don't is the gearing to actually believe the absurd is possible. Then, the courage to put one foot in front of the other.

As I watch the coverage of this current space mission, I will undoubtedly continue to obsess about the idea that anything is truly possible. Are you crazy enough? Are you courageous enough? Only time will tell if I am, but staring up at that sky really makes me wonder.

Whatever adventures you're crazy enough to dream up, I hope you find it somewhere deep within your soul to bring it to life. Sure, you might crash and burn......but what if you don't?

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Under My Roof

Yesterday, I mentioned being in $236,000 of debt at one point. It was 2008, and I was 27, newly engaged. I had my entire life planned out, all the way down to how many children I would have.....and when. Yeah, talk about being young and naive! Everything was going swimmingly until I walked into work one day and was met by a stranger, a stranger who pulled me into a conference room where I found all of my co-workers. Over the next 30 minutes, we were informed that the company was being shut down and that everyone would soon be fired.

That day was the turning point of my life. That was the day I realized that my way of perceiving and handling money was going to painfully catch up with me, and I would soon lose autonomy over my own life decisions. I had $236,000 of debt that wanted to be paid, and the prospect of no income (worst job market of our generation) was a scary proposition for a young man just a few years into his young career.

Self-pity and victimhood were running at full speed in my mind! I had every excuse in the book why I was done dirty, and I was going to suffer the consequences of other people's decisions. That's when I had a wake-up call....a very harsh and humbling wake-up call.

Somewhere in there, I realized that the causes and solutions to all of my problems lived under my roof. I was the common denominator for my crappy situation, and whether I liked it or not, I was responsible for navigating my life to a better situation. Until that moment, I thought my fortune and failures rested in the hands of outside forces. In other words, personal responsibility played less of a role than luck. That wake-up call changed everything for me.

If my past decisions led me to a place where I had limited life options, then perhaps my current and future decisions could get me to a place with more life options. My new fiancé and I set a new plan for our lives, and that plan involved never repeating that debacle again. We committed to ourselves that we would forevermore perceive money differently and would never again allow finances to dictate our lives.

It took 4.5 years to work our way through the debt mess, but life was so beautiful on the other side. Turns out, my wake-up call was right. The cause of and solution to most of my life's problems lives under my roof.....and it stares at me in the mirror.

The same goes for you. The cause of and solution to your life's problems probably lives under your roof. That's never a fun thing to admit, but once we do, it has the power to change everything. We must own our past decisions and equally own the responsibility for working ourselves toward a new reality. Discipline, humility, and persistence are key. It's not always fun, but there's something so powerful knowing it lives under your roof.

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Embracing Seasons

This weekend kicked off a new season for my family. On Saturday, the boys had their last practice before their lacrosse games begin. Then, on Sunday morning, they had their first flag football game of the year. Lastly, on Sunday afternoon, they had their first public performance with their new classic punk band at a local watering hole.

It's busier than we prefer, but we're going to embrace the season for what it is. Challenges will most certainly come, but so too will the blessings. I think a lot about life in terms of seasons. Seasons come and go, each presenting its own set of challenges and blessings.

From age 23 through 28, I eagerly engaged in a season of building my career. It was brutally challenging, but oh so fulfilling. I started as a naive kid, and ended up a little less naive and a little less kid.

From age 28 to 32 was the season of paying off our debt. Sarah and I had $236,000 of debt that dictated several of our life decisions, and we were committed to never letting that happen again. It was probably one of the most challenging seasons of our lives, but looking back, one of the most fulfilling (and impactful).

The age 32-38 season was when my career took off in a big way, while we simultaneously worked through the adoption process to begin our family. This is the season where we experienced the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. I spent much time in Asia and the Middle East, so many doors were unlocked for us, we found our people, we lost a son, we were blessed with twin baby boys, and we lost twin baby girls. So much beauty, so much pain.

The age 38-43 season was the most financially challenging season, with our family taking a 90% pay cut for me to start my career over and rebuild a new life.

In the midst of that, the age 41-45 season included the birth and ramp-up of Northern Vessel, which has unexpectedly become one of the greatest joys and blessings of my life. I never saw that coming, but I'm grateful for every bit of it.

As I reflect on each of those seasons, I can't help but think about how much pain, suffering, and turmoil each brought me. At the same time, however, when I embraced each for what it was, while also understanding it would eventually evolve into a different season, I was able to embrace it. I didn't always get it right, but the name of the game always felt like "seize the moment."

Whatever season you're in, whether awesome or painful, always remember three things:

• This season will eventually pass.

• You have the ability to seize it for whatever it is.

• Regardless of the pain, good WILL come from it. You might not see it now, but one day, it will be obvious how much good came from it.

Embrace the season.....every season. It's one of those things that makes life so difficult, but also so beautiful.

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