Losing Track

Most people have a stark understanding of the rhythms of their week. They can feel it in their souls. What makes me say this? The vast majority of people have a little internal clock that counts down to Friday. There's an anticipation that builds all week, culminating with a euphoric feeling as Friday afternoon approaches. Then, as the weekend wears on, the opposite happens. As the weekend fun ticks on, a little sense of dread starts building, particularly on Sunday afternoons. Some call it the Sunday Scaries. But in any event, most people have a good feel for their weeks.

While I know this feeling intimately, that's not how I experience life today. My day-to-day and week-to-week experiences are quite different, and borderline disorienting. If I were to put a checkmark in the "con" category of pursuing work that matters, one might be this: Every day feels the same.

No, every day doesn't look the same. I do different things each day, and my work varies widely. However, my perspective of my days and weeks doesn't deviate. I can't tell weekdays from weekends. I can't discern the night before a work day and the night before a day off. I don't have an internal clock that says tomorrow should be Friday, or a sense that Monday is approaching. Every day feels exactly the same to me.

On one hand, this is an awesome feeling. I look forward to each and every day, regardless of whether it's a work day or a vacation day. I wake up with a bold sense of anticipation and excitement.

On the other hand, I lose track of time. I never remember if tomorrow is a work day or a weekend. I wake up most mornings not immediately knowing if I'm supposed to work or relax. It's surreal.

I never really thought much about this feeling until a client brought it up. He explained a similar concept in his life, and up to that moment, I just thought I was the only crazy person who felt this way. Now, I'm beginning to understand there's an entire group of people who experience this surreal dynamic to their rhythms.

For as weird and disorienting as this feeling is, I decided I'm going to chalk it up as a win. After all, if we're looking forward to each day, regardless of what degree of work or play it entails, that should tell us something about the life we're pursuing.

Does this resonate with you? Can you relate? I'm curious how people respond to this idea. Am I crazy? Does this even sound appealing? Please react to this and share what's on your mind. I hope you have a great start to your week. Wait, it is Monday, isn't it?

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You Didn’t Put a Ring On It

Two years ago, one of my clients made a dramatic shift in her career when she accepted a new job in a new industry. Her career started in the field she studied in college, but seven years later, she felt called to move in a different direction.

These last two years have been fantastic for her, but she again feels called in a different direction....into yet another completely new industry. The feelings of guilt are growing. She's developing a self-consciousness about this development. Is she a traitor? What will her friends and family think? Shouldn't she be using her degree? Wouldn't it be better to stay in one place?

Here's my feedback to her: "You didn't put a ring on it. You aren't married to a specific job or a particular industry. Do what you gotta do."

Then, she turned the tables on me. "Travis, how do you know you want to do what you're doing for the rest of your life?"

The truth is, I don't. I might be doing the exact same thing 20 years from now......or I might make another drastic shift in 20 months. I have no idea, and that's exciting! All I know is that I'm exactly where I need to be today, and tomorrow, I'll endeavor to do the same.

All we have is the present. We can't go back and redo what's already happened, and we can't yet influence the future. Today is what we have to work with, so we might as well honor it by following our calling.

Not only do I think my client is making the right decision, but I wish more people were as bold as she is. So many people would be blessed and live with far more meaning if they were honest with themselves and brave enough to follow their unique calling (even if their calling seems crazy to others).

You didn't put a ring on it, so please don't treat it like you did. It's okay to make a shift. Don't live with the regret of wondering what would have happened had you actually followed that calling.

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Downshifting

I shared this with a few readers already, but yesterday's post was one of the rare instances where I dreaded hitting the "publish" button. I knew the backlash would be swift and severe, and I was right. Within just a few hours of the post going live, I received at least 30 messages.....and nearly all of them were negative. You can read yesterday's post HERE, but in the event you don't want to, I'll summarize:

• Yesterday was the 20th anniversary of starting my career.

• I'm almost 44 years old.

• I'm only 1/3 through my career. Translation: I implied that my career will stretch (God willing) into my early-to-mid 80s.

• I don't believe in the world's made-up concept of retirement. It encourages us to remove ourselves from the game and live for ourselves just when we're entering our peak impact years.

• I think we all deserve better than to coast out our remaining days like a bunch of spoiled slugs. You have so much more in you!

Most of the negative feedback revolved around the idea that some people who are retired still work, volunteer, be productive, and use their skills. If that's you, I applaud you. But I also have some news for you: You're not actually retired. See, I think culture has created a perverted definition of the word "retirement." We generally define retirement as one or more of the following things:

• No longer working full-time (i.e. working less than the traditional 40-hour week).

• No longer working at a job that sucks (i.e. "I'm doing something I love now").

• No longer getting paid for the work (i.e. volunteering).

All three of those are still work. Part-time work is still work. Meaningful or enjoyable work is still work. Volunteer work is still work. Therefore, if you "retired" and now fall into one or more of these categories, you didn't retire; you just quit your job and shifted your career to something new.

I call it downshifting. Blog reader Randy is "retired," except he's not. He merely downshifted his pace and transitioned into different roles. He's actually making more impact in this season of his career than ever before.

Blog reader Dave may soon be in the same camp. He'll "retire" in the world's eyes, but he's not actually retiring. Instead, he'll probably downshift and focus more time on other work. Similar to Randy, he'll make far more impact in the next season than he has in all his years prior.

My friend Julie "retired" a year ago, but she did nothing of the sort. Though a "retirement" party was thrown in her honor, she merely left that job, downshifted, and transitioned into different work. Knowing her, she'll probably even upshift again at some point.

Ironically, much of the criticism I received yesterday was from people who aren't actually retired, but rather fall into this weird and twisted definition the world has set before us. Each one of them is and will make more impact in this next season of their downshifted careers than ever before. And for that, I applaud them for their service and commitment to serving others.

Yes, true "retirement" is an option. We can bask in comfort and live the remainder of our years for ourselves. The other option is to stay in the game. Downshift. Transition. Focus. Create impact. Pursue meaning.

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1/3 Through the Race

Today marks the 20th anniversary of starting my career: June 6th, 2005. Just a few days after graduating with a finance degree from Iowa State University, I packed up my dumpy little apartment and moved into an equally dumpy little apartment in suburban Kansas City.

I spent the next four years growing my career in institutional commercial real estate investing before being involuntarily relocated to Des Moines, Iowa, during the Great Financial Crisis. It was a scary and frustrating time, but I was so grateful for the opportunity to keep a job when everyone around me was losing theirs. I was hurt, but blessed.

I spent the next ten years continuing my commercial real estate journey, eventually leading me to work primarily with European and Middle Eastern clients. Those were some special years, and I grew tremendously through them.

However, during the back half of that decade, I felt this lingering pull to make a dramatic shift and dedicate my life to something different. That was a hard decision, though, as I was making more money than I ever imagined I would. Ultimately, I had to choose meaning over money, and in June 2019, I started my financial coaching business.

These last six years have been absolutely wild. It started as financial coaching for families, but quickly grew to include business consulting, podcasting, writing, speaking, and Northern Vessel. I'm so grateful for all of it. It's been the honor of a lifetime.

Today, I'm almost 44 years old. As I reflect on the past 20 years, I realize I'm about 1/3 through my career. So much has happened already, but I can't even fathom what's about to happen in the next 40 years of this career. Here's one thing I do know, though. Whatever happens in the next chapter will dwarf the impact I had in the first 20 years of my career. No matter how much good happened in the past, the future will surely be brighter.

How do I know that? Here's how. 44-year-old Travis has more experience, skills, insights, relationships, influence, and resources than the Travis who existed over the prior 20 years. As such, there's almost zero chance I don't make a bigger impact this next season than the last. Everything builds on everything.

The irony of this situation is that our culture will soon cheer me on to retire and ride off into the sunset. It will tell me that I can afford to quit work and start "enjoying life." So many people I know are leaving the game before even reaching their peak impact years. They raced to this made-up 21st-century concept called retirement, where they will now coast out the remainder of their lives in comfort. Instead, they could literally be changing the world by engaging in the world with everything they have to offer.

Don't get me wrong; I'm all for freedom of choice. Everyone has the right to do whatever they want with their life. I don't have a right to tell people what they should or shouldn't do. However, I'm going to use whatever influence I have, and the example I have the opportunity to model, to show that each of us has so much more to offer this world than the world is giving us credit for.

Whatever impact you made in the past pales in comparison to what you can do from here on out. Prove it.

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Four and a Quarter

I recently found treasure! Well, not real treasure, exactly. As I was rummaging through some of my old childhood possessions, I stumbled upon a little wrinkled piece of paper that more resembled a ticker tape than a sheet of paper. It was my original pay stub from my very first job!

I was 15 years old and was hired to be an early morning groundskeeper at my local golf course. My first responsibility was to arrive at the course five days per week at 5AM to rake all the sandtraps before the early bird golfers arrived. My hourly wage for such a stellar job? $4.25/hour. Yeah, you bet I was rollin' in the dough!

It's easy to look at that number - $4.25/hour - and laugh. It was so little, especially after taxes were withheld. However, it might as well have been a million dollars for a 15-year-old kid trying to save money for his first car.

I learned so much at that job. No, I didn't go on to apply my groundskeeping skills in the years and decades that followed. That summer, I learned about discipline, doing difficult tasks, the value of money, and the beauty of work. That job didn't feel beautiful at the time (it kinda sucked!), but over the subsequent decades, I look back fondly at that job and what it taught me.

I hope each of you has your version of my four and a quarter per hour job. The one that paid little, challenged much, and taught you some key lessons along the way. To this day, I never take anything for granted, especially as a business owner. I'm so grateful for each and every dollar of income I'm blessed with to provide for my family.

Sometimes, when I get reflective, I think back to that kid working on the golf course as a 15-year-old, sweating it out for four and a quarter per hour. I'm really glad he did that. Had he not, I don't think I would have developed the habits, mindsets, and principles I have today.

Never forget where you came from, and never take what you have for granted. Both are blessings.

Lastly, if you have kids, don’t rob them of the beauty of work. Encourage them to create their own four-and-a-quarter moments that will shape them, mold them, and teach them valuable life lessons. It’s not even about the money. It’s about learning how to work and the discipline it takes to be successful. That skill is needed more now than ever before!

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Worst Nightmare or Dream Come True

A question was posed at my table: "What would you do if you suddenly had enough money to live and no longer had to worry about finances?"

The answers were nearly unanimous. "I'd quit my job." "I'd quit my job." "I'd quit my job." "I'd quit my job." Then, it was my turn to answer....except I didn't have an answer. I froze. Even with the benefit of now having weeks to think about it, I can't think of a single action I'd take if I suddenly had enough resources to no longer worry about finances. I certainly wouldn't quit my job, and that feedback caused quite the stir at my table.

Let's modify the original question. "What would you do if you suddenly had enough money to live and no longer had to worry about finances?.....with one catch: You MUST quit work."

For most, this is the most no-brainer question of all time. In fact, it's a double win! Security AND retirement.

Curious about how some people might respond to this question, I saved it for a client meeting. I knew I would be meeting with a husband and wife who both love their jobs. They are living their true calling. They ooze with passion. Therefore, this was a perfect opportunity to ambush them with this question. For additional context, they are NOT wealthy. They live a very middle-class lifestyle and absolutely don't have financial security.

"What would you do if you suddenly had enough money to live and no longer had to worry about finances?.....with one catch: You MUST quit work."

Husband: "I don't think I could accept that offer. It sounds terrible."

Wife: "No way I'd do that. My work means too much to me."

Husband: "I know you wouldn't do it, Travis. This sounds like your worst nightmare!"

He knows me too well! They gave me the exact answers I thought they would, and, in fact, this scenario is my worst nightmare. The thought of having all the resources I've ever needed but not doing what I do for work would be like living in a horror movie.

I've shared this with several people and have received two polar opposite responses. 90% of the people shook their heads like I'm a raging lunatic. The other 10% of people nodded their heads with me and told me it's like I'm reading their minds.

I have empathy for people on both sides of this equation. I'm not here to tell people how they should feel, but I'll share how I'd feel if I were in the 90% camp that would eagerly jump for that theoretical opportunity. For me, it would be a sign that I need to do something different. I want to do something so valuable to me that no amount of money could get me to quit it. That's a tell for me. I've been on both sides of this equation, and I'll do almost anything to stay on this side.....including turning down life-altering money.

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Even When You Don’t See It

I recently had a fun interaction with a young couple. As we discussed how this couple operates their financial lives, I was continually impressed by how they had things set up. From how they budgeted, the tools they used, and the principles they practiced. For not being financially-minded people, they sure had a firm grasp on their finances! They were leaps and bounds ahead of most people.

Curious, I asked how they ended up in such a cool place already in their marriage. "We both listen to your podcast all the time, then we talk about it, then we try to implement pieces of it in our marriage."

Wow, just wow! To be honest, it's hard to see the true impact of a podcast. 425 times, we recorded, edited, published, and trusted that our Meaning Over Money Podcast would make a difference. 425 episodes. 113 hours of me talking into a microphone, published into the abyss.

While it would be so much more fun, rewarding, and emboldening to see every impact our work makes, that's not reality. We might get a glimpse into some of our impact, but most happens behind the scenes. We set things into motion and trust good will come from it. That applies to all jobs in all disciplines. Here's the beautiful thing, though. Impact is still impact, even when you don't see it. It all counts the same whether you're watching it first-hand or if you never know about it at all.

So much of what you do each day impacts the world in ways you never would imagine. Things you say, actions you take, decisions you make. Yes, some days feel futile. You might get home and wonder if it was all for nothing. No, in fact, it wasn't. Good came from your work today, whether you know it or not. And more good will come from it tomorrow.

This is all to say, don't be discouraged. Don't underestimate the impact you're having. Each day you set yourself into the world and endeavor to do good work, good things ARE happening. Your work matters. You're making ripple effects on this world, whether visible or invisible, and the world is a better place for it. Keep up the good work.

Here's my prayer for you today. Like this young couple I had the pleasure of speaking with, I hope you get a little glimpse into the impact your work is having on the world. I hope you get a little boost of encouragement just when you need it. Don't miss it or dismiss it when it comes. Celebrate, be grateful, and keep up the good work!

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Symptoms vs. Afflictions

My kids have brutal seasonal allergies. Just a few weeks ago, Pax's eyes were nearly swollen shut when he got out of bed. He also had the sniffles and the sneezes.....he was a mess!

When Sarah saw him, she didn't say to me, "Travis, we need to treat his swollen eyes." No, of course not. No amount of eye drops would have fixed that problem. She said, "We need to do something about his allergies." This is intuitive, of course, and any other approach would be laughable. We don't address the symptoms; we address the affliction. The disease, the sickness, the root cause. In Pax's case, he didn't have a case of swollen eye syndrome. He had seasonal allergies, and one of the symptoms was swollen eyes.

In yesterday's post, I shared about how three of my friends are secretly miserable. In the post, I talked about how many of us are willing to die for our family, but at the same time, aren't willing to actually live for our family.

I highlighted what a day in the life often looks like for people stuck in a misery loop. Part of this loop involved a feeling of discontentment with one's work. However, I didn't specify if the misery is caused by work or if the misery felt at work is caused by a broader issue. This is a classic example of symptoms vs. afflictions. Which causes which?

The truth is, it varies from person to person. In the case of my three friends, two of them have work that is an affliction. It's toxic for them. They are doing the wrong jobs for the wrong reasons. It's eating them from the inside out, which is leaking into other areas of their lives.

The third man, however, is a different story. The misery he feels at work is a symptom of a broader issue. Notice how when I laid out a series of questions I ask myself about whether I'm actually living, only one of the six questions involved work. The other five questions revolved around other aspects of life. In the case of this particular man, he was violating several other questions, and the misery he experienced at work was a symptom.....not the affliction. In fact, he could have the best job in the entire world, and he'd probably still feel miserable. That's what it looks like when we're not actually living.

Perspective matters, and in the case of our work, we need to realize that our mindset and attitude impact our experience. If we're not actually living, there's no amount of job changes that will make us feel meaning in our work. Therefore, it's imperative that we pursue meaning in ALL areas of our lives. If we’re not right, we need to look inside for the affliction instead of treating every external symptom like it’s the problem.

I shared my post and some of your feedback with my three friends. It didn't solve their issues, but it certainly opened up some new dialogue. Thanks so much for that! These three men deserve to actually live, which may or may not involve different work. But that's why it's so important to recognize the difference between afflictions and symptoms in our lives. Acknowledge symptoms and treat afflictions.

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But Would You Live For Them?

I was having drinks with a handful of guy friends recently. There were four of us in total. We discussed all the normal-type things: Family, work, sports, faith, and upcoming travel plans. The conversation evolved to a bit of a morbid topic, triggered by a recent news story about a family that was attacked by a random assailant.

"I would die for my family," exclaimed one of my friends. One by one, each of my friends said the same thing. As a husband and father, they would die for their family. Noble. I agreed with them about this sentiment. If push came to shove, I would sacrifice myself for my family.

However, I asked a follow-up question. "Yeah, but would you live for your family?"

They looked at me, puzzled. For the ten minutes before this topic, each of them shared about how miserable they were in their respective careers and lives. All three of these guys are massively successful, as defined by the world, but each secretly lives in misery.

Each one of these men has achieved something in their lives, and in an effort to retain the comfort, stability, and ease of this new lifestyle, they continuously make choices to maintain the status quo. In other words, they are drowning in their own pool of comfort. In the sports world, it's called "playing not to lose."

None of them is actually living (their words), and their lives are struggling as a result. There's tension in their marriages and tension in their parenting. Their careers suck. Time keeps ticking too fast, but at the same time, not fast enough to finally get to this retirement finish line they fantasize about. They are depressed but mask it in normalcy. The life they are living isn't actually living. It's a form of delayed dying.

I think most people would willfully die for their family, but many won't actually live for their family. Here's the modern-day recipe for a day in the life:

• Wake up and get ready.

• Spend 8-10 hours at a job you tolerate or dislike.

• Come home grumpy and disgruntled.

• Spend a few precious hours with family.

• Count down the days until the weekend arrives.

• Savor the weekend, which might include spending time with friends/family, going on a trip, and/or buying something fun.

• By Sunday afternoon, begin the dread of the Sunday Scaries.

• Wake up on Monday and repeat.

That's a comfortable life. That's a normal life. That's a predictable life. But is it living? Most people, when confronted with this question in an honest setting, will say "no."

Here are a few questions I ask myself:

• Am I pursuing work that matters when I wake up each morning?

• Am I seeking comfort or pushing myself out of my comfort zone?

• Am I actively serving God and serving others?

• Am I giving sacrificially?

• Am I embracing the adventure or playing it safe?

• Am I proud of what I model for my kids?

I think most of us would die for our family, no doubt! That's the sign of loyalty, love, and honor. But would you live for them? Are you willing to truly live?

My three friends desperately need a shift. They know it and I know it. It will take courage and the willingness to disregard society’s expectations. They can do this…..and so can you.

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Happy Anniversary, Wall!

Yesterday was a huge day for us at Northern Vessel. No, it wasn't the anniversary of our opening. No, we didn't hit any particular milestones. No, we didn't launch any new products. In fact, practically nobody even knew it was a significant day. As of right now, the only ones in the know are me, the other two owners, our team, and now, you.

Yesterday was the first and only one-year anniversary of not having a car crash through our shop's walls. We've been open for nearly three years, and until yesterday, we've never gone 12 months without having our space devastated by a speeding vehicle.

It's easy to laugh about this today, but the truth is, we've always laughed about it. No, we never found it particularly funny having our business and the safety of our guests/staff put at risk by the misdeeds of reckless people. The truth is, though, we only had two choices: laugh about it or cry about it. We chose laughter.

Regardless of what industry, discipline, career, or role we're in, we WILL be faced with brutal challenges. Obstacles, tragedies, misfortunes, and many other similar words that reek of misery. These types of things are inevitable, but our reaction to them isn't. The onus is on each of us to respond well.

Sure, we could have played the victim card. Our beautiful shop was devastated by a car in August 2023, bringing all our good momentum to a halt. We had everything going for us, then BOOM! (literally), all that good work turned into wreckage. We closed for a few days before reopening with our beautiful glass windows replaced with ugly plywood.

You can probably imagine how euphoric it felt to finally have a fully operational shop in March 2024 when the construction was complete. We were so happy to be back to normal! We spent the next several weeks re-building momentum, preparing for what was sure to be an amazing summer.

Then, in the worst form of deja vu, terror struck again in May 2024 when a second car crushed us again. Devastating! However, we again chose to laugh. A poor attitude wasn't going to fix anything. Instead, we endeavored forward, committed to the vision of providing world-class hospitality despite the new eyesore and hindered operation.

Yesterday, though, we celebrated one year of being car crash-free. We rejoice in the fact our shop is beautiful, our team is thriving, and our guests are joyful.

Nothing will go the way we plan (or hope), so we must continue forward, one step at a time. While I'm talking about a coffee shop, I'm not really talking about a coffee shop. This is our lives. This is our finances. This is our businesses. This is our careers. This is our relationships. We can laugh or we can cry. We can give up, or we can carry on. We can be a victim, or we can push forward. There are a million things that can bring your dreams to a halt. Don't let them. Laugh, persevere, and keep up the good work.

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Feel a Way, Man

"Tell me about your work." I was sitting face-to-face with a stranger, a man I had just met 30 minutes prior. He solicited me for some advice, and we were just getting to know each other. We chatted about family, sports, backgrounds, hobbies....all the normal stuff. Then, I changed the subject: "Tell me about your work." His eyes instantly lit up, and a huge smile landed on his face as if there was an awakening inside him.

"My work makes me feel a way, man! Does that even make sense?"

Oh man, I connected so deeply with that. My work makes me feel a way, too, man! He proceeded to explain how much joy, fulfillment, satisfaction, and meaning he gets from his job. The job: A janitor at a well-known business. I couldn't have loved that more!

We live in a society that glorifies self-employment, entrepreneurship, and advanced degrees. Meanwhile, I was sitting with a man who was neither self-employed nor formally educated. He is working a nine-to-five at a mediocre-paying job, and he's thriving!

This is how it's supposed to be. Who am I, or anyone else, to tell him what work matters and what work doesn't? Heck, people should be jealous of him. This man truly loves his life......all of his life. He wakes up excited for work, thrives in his job, and then goes home to a family he loves. He pursued work that matters, and he's living his best life.

The advice he sought from me wasn't how he could make $x more money or build more wealth, but rather how to make the best use of his family's current resources. Contentment and a desire to do the right thing. Again, I admire him so much!

Do you feel a way about your work? Most people do, but it's feeling a way that they wouldn't wish on their worst enemy. Most people feel pretty crappy about their job or, worse, numbness.

I feel a way about my work. I get a little giddy just thinking about what I get to do. Nearly every single day of my week is eagerly anticipated. Not every moment of every day, but nearly every day. I feel a way about my work that makes me sad to realize that a day will come when I won't get to work any longer. I hope that day doesn't come for many more decades, but that's not entirely in my control.

I hope you can relate to my new janitor friend. I hope you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, "My work makes me feel a way, man!" If this makes you cringe or feel like punching this guy (or me) in the face, it might be a sign. Amazing is out there, and all it requires is for us to seek it out. Yes, we can linger in our current situation and simply ride it out. That option is on the table, but I think people deserve better than that. I think everyone deserves to feel a way, man.

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"I Think I'm a Flourless Cake"

I received an e-mail with the following subject line: "I think I'm a flourless cake." It was a callback to a recent blog post, where I used an analogy of baking a cake with all sugar and no flour, you know, because sugar tastes awesome and flour tastes gross. In my illustration, this is the equivalent of living a life that heavily overweights leisure and relaxation (the sugar) vs. work and impact (the flour). Just as a cake baked with all sugar would be disgusting, so too is a life built primarily around leisure and fun. The sugar is what makes life taste good, but the proper ratio of flour is what makes it moist and delicious.

The writer of this e-mail explained to me how much my flourless cake analogy struck him. It was almost as if I was staring into his soul. He said his family and personal life are amazing, but he hates his job. He's one of those people who craves Fridays and hates Mondays. But that's ok, he thinks to himself, as his crappy work situation doesn't define him.

This has led him to the point, like so many others, of glorifying retirement in the pursuit of far more sugar and much less flour. After all, sugar tastes good and flour tastes gross. In his mind, if he can just make as much money as quickly as he can, so he can invest as much money as quickly as he can, he can retire as early as he can. Boom, problem solved.

Enter my recent blog post, a "wake-up call," as he puts it. Is swimming in misery for the sake of expediting a retirement really the most meaningful approach to life? Until recently, he believed so. But then, as he thought about what actually makes life meaningful, this idea of merely living a life of leisure sounds equally unappealing. His twisted perspective is setting himself up to endure many more years of misery, followed by a meaningless life of leisure.

What's the solution? Here's what he said. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I need to just live a meaningful life right now. It's hard to quit racing toward retirement, but maybe I'm defining success in the wrong way."

A meaningful life isn't defined by money, stuff, status, or a retirement age. It's defined by having the right ratio of sugar and flour. It's waking up each day knowing today is going to matter, and going to bed at night excited for what's to come tomorrow. Not just two days per week, but every day.

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(Not) Doing It For Free

I casually ran into one of our Northern Vessel baristas yesterday, which is always a treat. In our conversation, I congratulated her on an amazing day at the farmer's market. I applauded her hard work, contagious vibe, killer hospitality, and ridiculously fun paycheck. She thanked me and shared how much fun she had. She said she wishes she could do it every day. Regarding the rewarding payday, she said she's grateful......but she loves it so much she'd "do it for free."

That's a tell! I laughed at her response and told her I know exactly what she means. I couldn't love this response more! The best work is the work we'd do for free if we could, but at the same time, we get to provide for our family while doing it. That's what it looks like to thread the needle of work that matters.

She never implied that it wasn't work......it was brutally hard work (my words, not hers). She was grinding non-stop, serving up hundreds of drinks per hour. Every interaction was a new opportunity, a new responsibility, to create a special experience for that specific customer. Each guest walked into that moment with their own mood, baggage, experiences, and expectations. For many, it was the first time they ever interacted with our brand. My friend, acting as the caretaker of the brand, was the lynchpin in how that person felt about us after they left our little booth. That's hard work! But it's meaningful work!

I'm so grateful for my friend. I 100% believe she would do it for free if she could, but fortunately, she doesn't have to. It actually makes me want to pay her even more. People who pursue (and find) work that matters are needle-movers. When we find our work that matters, our blood, sweat, tears, and passions are about to be put on the table, and as a result, everyone wins.

I pray my friend continues to feel that way about her work, and I pray each of you pursues and finds work that makes you feel the same. It's available to each of us, and it's far sweeter than we can even imagine. Work that matters matters. My friend deserves that.....you deserve that.

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Instant Regret

"I think I made a huge mistake." Not the text I expect at 1AM on a random weeknight. It was from a client.

A few months prior to that random late-night text, my client had a big decision to make. The husband had just received an offer for a job that would pay $21,000 MORE than his current job, a jump that would take him from $82,000/year to $103,000/year. That's real money! This seemed like a no-brainer decision to both him and his wife. After all, this new opportunity would equate to approximately $1,300 more in their monthly take-home budget. This was big time for them!

I had my doubts, and I'll share why. His current job, the lower-paying one, filled his tank. He found tremendous meaning in this job, and he had deep connections with his co-workers. In short, he loved what he was doing. This new job, though, meant more money for his family. This new opportunity also fell into his field of expertise, but he was 50/50 on whether this specific role was the best use of his gifts and passions. But the money!!!

They thanked me for my insights and decided to sleep on it for a few nights. Ultimately, the new opportunity (and the financial rewards that came with it) were too attractive to turn down. They excitedly accepted the job, and a new chapter began.

"I think I made a huge mistake." I immediately texted back, inquiring what had happened......though deep down, I already knew. Though the bigger paychecks were awesome, he was miserable in this new role. His community was gone, the role wasn't as fulfilling, and his new boss was a jerk. This was the worst-case scenario for him. What did his wife think of the whole thing? While she was glad to have more money coming in, she wasn't a huge fan of him coming home grumpy at night, watching him struggle, and him always being tired. To put it bluntly, this wasn't the man she knew.

When I asked about how the new financial situation has impacted their life, the wife responded, "It feels like blood money. I'd give it all up if we could just go back to the way things were."

Things rarely go well when we make decisions based on dollars and cents. Yes, money has to play a role. But when we put money over meaning, we usually lose. Fortunately, this couple quickly learned this lesson and are seeking ways to navigate a different journey. I pray they do, and I'll do anything I can to help them. But their story is a cautionary tale for us all. More money is always appealing, but not at the expense of a fulfilling and meaningful life.

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Stepping Up

Good morning to everyone……except for Grandpa Joe! Have you ever seen Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? We watched it as a family last night, and as always, a classic! Hot take: Grandpa Joe is the worst movie character of all time.

As the movie unfolds and the characters are introduced, we discover that Charlie Bucket's family lives in poverty. His mom works at a laundromat, where she uses her single income to support Charlie and four bedridden grandparents in very tough living conditions. On the night this movie begins, Charlie is disappointed that dinner will be "cabbage water again." Not cabbage soup, but cabbage water. In another scene, Charlie gets his first paycheck from his new paper delivery route. He uses this financial windfall to purchase a delicious-looking loaf of bread for the family, which Grandpa Joe calls "a feast." At the same time, we find out that while the family barely has enough money to serve cabbage water, a portion of their resources is used to support Grandpa Joe's tobacco habit. Did I mention that Grandpa Joe and the other three grandparents have been bedridden for 20 years? 20 years!!!

Now, I'm not here to bash senior citizens or people who don't have the physical capacity to move about. I'm here to bash on what happens next. After Charlie miraculously and magically wins the fifth and final golden ticket to tour Willy Wonka's factory, he hesitantly invites Grandpa Joe to be his guest. Yes, the same Grandpa Joe who hasn't left his bed in two decades. And whataya know, two minutes later, Grandpa Joe is dancing around the living room like he's an energetic teenage boy.

The entire family has spent the last 20 years, and the entirety of Charlie's life, living in poverty. All the while, Grandpa Joe just needed something he cared enough about to spring from his bed and become productive. Providing for his in-need family didn't do the trick, so it's a bit disappointing that a one-day tour of a chocolate factory was what flipped his switch.

Yes, I realize it's just a movie. I know it's silly. I know it's not meant to be taken seriously. I love that movie so much! But Grandpa Joe always gets to me. We need to step up. All of us.

Day after day, I write and podcast about pursuing work that matters, aggressively chasing a meaningful life that's full of fulfillment, impact, and curiosity. I believe in all of that.....with every ounce of my being. At the same time, however, we also need to step up and take care of our families. Never do I suggest that we should abandon our responsibilities to provide and care for those who matter most by recklessly and irresponsibly living our lives.

We need to have both. Yes, we need to aggressively pursue that meaningful life, but at the same time, we must do what we need to do to put food on the table, a roof over our heads, and water in the pipes. The act of providing, even if through less-than-ideal work, is a meaningful endeavor. We ought not lose sight of that.

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Tsunami or Drizzle

One of my clients has a storm approaching. They have two normal incomes and a small child. One spouse is about to lose their job, and the family will soon experience a 50% decrease in its take-home income. Talk about scary!!

Here's the thing about storms. It's not a matter of if a storm is coming, but when. That's what life promises us, and man, life sure does deliver! So, since we know a storm is coming, the next question is how bad said storm will be.

While this couple hasn't been together all that long, both spouses have spent the last 10 years of their lives setting the foundation for where they are now. Sure, I've helped them in their journey, but they had already done so many amazing things before I arrived on the scene. Here's a quick summary:

• No debt (this is huge!)

• Below-average housing costs

• Sizable taxable investment account (game-changer!)

• Conservative lifestyle

• Prioritization of family over stuff and status

• They live life with a posture of contentment and generosity

They've been nervous about the oncoming storm......as they should be! It's absolutely terrifying. We recently took inventory of their situation and worked through their new reality budget. We titled it, "Oh crap!" In it, we discerned what categories needed to be cut or decreased once the storm hits.

When we got to the bottom, they were met with a shocking discovery. After losing half of their income and making whatever cuts they could, the net result was only a $600 monthly budget shortfall. Combine this with the nice taxable investment account available to help them weather the storm, they are in amazing shape! Instead of the impending storm looking like a destructive tsunami, it will more closely resemble a slight drizzle.

Instantly, I could see relief in their eyes. What started as fear turned into confidence. All the hard work they've put into this over the years is about to culminate soon, and they are so grateful for the situation they've put themselves in.

The question isn't whether or not a storm is coming.....it is! The question for you today is what that storm looks like. Will it be a destructive tsunami that will potentially wipe you off the map? Or will it be a slight drizzle that you can confidently navigate? Perhaps today is a great day to start preparing for the storm.

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Not All Roses and Sunshine

"I wish my job was fun like yours." These were the words of a close friend, comparing his job to mine.

First, I'm flattered that he thinks my job is fun. It can be....some hours…..of some days. Truth is, though, my job isn't "fun." It's often heavy, stressful, chaotic, exhausting, and mentally/emotionally taxing. Oh yeah, and it's also tremendously meaningful and fulfilling.

Herein is the lie. Work that matters does not mean fun work. It can be fun, but work doesn't need to be fun to be meaningful. Meaningful work is meaningful work.....period.

This is the lie my friend fell for. He actually finds deep meaning and fulfillment in his work, but since it's stressful and often "not fun," he has a twisted perception that he needs to find something more fun. I think he's in the absolute perfect spot for him! He's doing exactly what he's called to do, he's making a massive impact, and he goes to bed at night with a feeling of contentment and accomplishment.

As you begin your week, don't ask yourself if your job is fun or if you enjoy it. Instead, ask yourself:

• Do I find meaning in my work?

• Am I making a difference?

• Do I believe in the mission?

• Do I look forward to it?

• Do I miss it after being gone for a while?

• Does it allow me to utilize the skills I'm gifted with?

Truth is, I've had a heck of a stressful few weeks. Lots of late nights. Lots of difficult conversations. Lots of chaos. However, at the same time, I've felt a deep sense of fulfillment and meaning in what's happened. It hasn't been a ton of fun, but it matters.

So, next time you find yourself wishing your work was more fun, consider asking yourself the above questions instead. After all, fun isn't what we're really seeking. Meaning is what we're really looking for.

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The Superpower of Humility

We're living in a paradoxical reality. On the one hand, it's becoming increasingly difficult to survive financially. Between stagnant income growth, rampant inflation, record-low housing affordability, spiraling car prices, and several other factors, people are hurting. Not everyone, and certainly not to the same degree, but the cracks are starting to show. There's not enough income to keep the train on track, never mind paying off debt, investing for retirement, or saving for future needs.

On the other hand, there's never been a society in the history of humankind where it's been easier to make money. The internet, social media, and the proliferation of a convenience-based lifestyle have opened up more doors than ever before. Heck, we're a few keystrokes away from contacting nearly any person in the world. If you wanted to, you could send a message to Taylor Swift in the next 45 seconds, and if she wanted to, she could read it two seconds later. That's crazy to think about. With our society wired this way, there are unlimited ways to create an income.

The paradox of this situation is that both realities simultaneously exist. Unlimited income is a few clicks away, but at the same time, so many people are struggling with a problem that is only solvable by making more income. I'm not trying to be insensitive with how I framed this, as I have so much empathy for those who are struggling. Rather, I'm trying to shine a light on a big issue; an elephant-in-the-room issue.

Let's use one of my clients/friends as an example. He's a young guy. He's been married to his wife for just a few years. He's absolutely brilliant and has a pretty good job in a specialized field. His future is bright. However, he has a problem. His family's current income isn't enough. Well, it's technically enough, but it's tight. They have a bunch of debt they want gone, they're having their first child soon (!!!), and they need to financially cover their maternity leave season.

Several months ago, I noticed $2,000 extra in their budget. "What's this?" "Oh, I decided to deliver packages for Amazon. I just downloaded an app, and opt-in to make a delivery run whenever I want." Those might not have been his actual words, but that's what it sounds like in my head. With a full-time career, when does he have time for this?!?! 2:45AM-6:45AM, before his day job begins, three to four times per week.

See what I mean? With our modern technology, he simply downloaded an app, clicks on the deliveries he wants to make, and gets in his car to make some money. So simple!

Oh yeah, there's one more thing: humility. None of this happens without humility. He could have easily played victim, called foul, or treated this type of work as if it were beneath him. But instead, he chose humility. He chose the path less traveled. And that is exactly why he (and they) will win.

Sometimes, we just need to do what we need to do, even if only for a season. It's not always sexy. It doesn't bolster status in social circles. It's certainly not easy. But it's the gateway to the reality we are trying to create.

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To Kill or Not to Kill….Their Dreams

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" It's one of my favorite questions to ask young people. It's an open-ended, sky's-the-limit type of question. During my ten years as a youth group leader, I asked this question to hundreds of kids (6th through 12th grade). I noticed an interesting trend. The younger kids would give me one solid answer, but the older kids (typically 11th or 12th grade) would give me two answers.

For the younger kids, it's simple and confident: "I want to be an astronaut." "I want to be a vet." "I want to be a chef."

For the upperclassmen, it gets muddy. It morphs into something more like this. "I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I want to _______." "I used to want to be a chef, but now I want to ________." If they want to be the second thing they mentioned, why state the first one? Curious, I always ask them this question.

"The first answer is my real answer, but the second is my practical answer." Ah, now we're getting somewhere. Somewhere along the journey, someone killed their dreams. Someone decided this kid needed to think more practical, safer, and more achievable. Maybe it was their parents, or teachers, or friends, or coaches.....but it was probably the parents. Why? Because a child's foundational confidence comes from his/her parents. If the parents believe in the kid, it's unlikely that external forces will knock them down.

Here's the problem. In our effort to protect our kids from failure, struggle, and disappointment, we methodically kill their dreams as they grow up. After all, we want our kids to succeed. And falling flat on their face over and over and over doesn't feel like winning. Therefore, we steer our kids into safe, practical, and reliable career paths. We want our kids to make enough money to live, ideally more than enough. We want them to have security.

I might take some heat for saying this, but I don't care about any of that. I would rather my kids fail miserably in the pursuit of their dreams and callings and struggle to make enough income along the way than sell their dreams for safety, practicality, and security. If living a meaningful life requires them to face risk, adversity, and pain, I'll cheer all day for that.

I have zero aspirations for my kids to be wealthy or attain status. I aspire for my kids to live the most meaningful life possible.....period. I don't know what that means (yet) for them, but I will never kill their dreams. If one wants to be an astronaut, then I need to figure out how best to support that dream and encourage that journey. If the other wants to be a rocker, then I'll figure out how best to support that as well.

In a world where 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, I'll be so proud if my kids end up in the 30% camp....whatever that looks like. Rich or poor, status or none, always living for meaning.

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Trigger. Trigger. What Is the Trigger?

One of my favorite conversations with young people (under 25 years old) is asking them what they want to do when they're adults, and why. I say under 25 because that's typically when people start allowing their dreams to die.

Every single time, there's a trigger. Something that happened. A story. An event. A set of circumstances. THE trigger. For example, one of my former youth group kids experienced the pain, suffering, and victory over childhood cancer. After spending much of her life in and out of hospitals, she grew up to become a pediatric nurse, serving young kids who are going through similar experiences she went through. Beautiful!

One of my high school classmates experienced two triggers in the same day. When we were kids, he witnessed his grandfather pass away on a plane while flying home from Disney World. He would eventually become a pilot AND an undertaker. A morbid but true story.

When it comes to my own kids, I encourage them to put everything on the table. Anything and everything is a possible dream career. I don't discourage. I don't push. I don't manipulate. I simply expose them to as many things as possible, and know something will eventually trigger them.

This week has been especially fun for me as a parent. Being away from their rhythms and routines, they have a front-row seat to see all sorts of new opportunities. I always wonder what will trigger them. Will it be the musicians they've listened to? Or the singers, dancers, skaters, and divers they watched? Will it be the ship captain or any number of the crew they've interacted with? Will it be the local business owners we encountered on the islands? Will it be something I never even realized? Or, maybe nothing will trigger them.....yet.

The boys want to start a YouTube channel with his brother, performing classic rock songs on their drums and guitar. Cool. I'll help them get it going.

Finn wants to start a mowing business like a local kid who mowed our yard a few times. Amazing. I told him I can help show him when the time is right.

Whatever their eventual triggers are, I will do whatever I can to support, encourage, and cultivate them.....even if it's not something I would have chosen for him. This is a controversial take in our current times, but I won't specifically push my kids to pursue something for the sake of money or status. Instead, I'll encourage meaning 100% of the time. That may or may not include money and status, but pursuing meaning will certainly produce meaning.

My two little men have maybe 70-80 years left on this planet. I want them to spend it pursuing meaning, finding fulfillment, and impacting others. If they make a bunch of money, great. If they earn a ton of status, fine. But I will always encourage them to seek the meaning first, no matter what.

It all starts with a trigger. A trigger I may be part of, but one I may not know about for a long time.

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