No Room For Hypocrisy
One of our longtime readers posed an interesting question to me after my recent rant about credit cards. I'll paraphrase her thoughtful question. How can I be so disciplined with budgeting but can't be so with a credit card? In other words, what's preventing me from properly handling credit cards like I handle all the other areas of personal finance?
In short, I have a one-word answer for this: hypocrisy. Hypocrisy prevents me from using credit cards. If I'm publicly and privately criticizing the use of credit cards, warning of the risks, in what world would it make sense for me to use one myself?
Approximately 15 years ago, Sarah and I were at dinner together. When the bill arrived at our table, I whipped out my credit card and slid it into the little black folio. As the waitress walked away with my card, Sarah looked at me and said, "You know you're the world's biggest hypocrite, right?"
Uhhhhhhhh, what?!?! "You tell everyone they shouldn't use a credit card, and here you are using a credit card."
Pot, meet kettle. Ouch. I could use a credit card because I understood the perils, pitfalls, and behavioral science implications. Yet, at the same time, my actions only proved that I was a hypocrite. The moment we got home, I pulled out a pair of scissors and cut up the card. Sarah was right, I was a giant hypocrite. Never again, though. I have no room in my life for hypocrisy, and if I believe in what I teach, I should eat my own cooking.
Can people use credit cards responsibly? Yeah, some can; very few can. A rare minority can. It reminds me of the famous Jeff Goldblum quote from Jurassic Park: "Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."
Could vs. should is an interesting topic to think about. There are a lot of things I CAN do, but it doesn't mean I SHOULD do them. If we want to hold people to higher standards, we need to hold ourselves to a higher standard. This has become one of the biggest principles in my coaching. I will NEVER ask someone to do something that I'm not already doing in my own life. When I teach people how to invest, it's exactly how I invest. When I help people get life insurance, it's the exact principle I follow. When I show people how to give, it's exactly how I practice giving. When I teach people how to prepare for their children's college, it's exactly how I think through my own children's education.
I never tell people what to think, but I teach them how to think. Regardless of each family's individual values, beliefs, and aspirations, these concepts and principles allow them to implement wise and thoughtful decisions in their own lives. That begins with building trust, and trust is built on a lack of hypocrisy.
Just because we can, it doesn't mean we should. This applies to so many areas of life, so today I'll let you extrapolate it to wherever it needs to be implemented in your life. Have an awesome day!
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