A Little Discretion Goes a Long Way
If you know me, you know I LOVE food! I have a soft spot in my heart for unique and memorable dining experiences. I deeply treasure the financial investment in a good meal at a restaurant.
At the same time, I feel like so much of my coaching work is spent trying to encourage families to tone down their dining out spending. It's not that I'm against dining out (obviously), but sometimes a family's dining out spending is actually detrimental to their broader objectives.
For example, let's say a family is trying to pay off a bunch of debt or commit to investing. For multiple reasons, there's just not enough margin in the budget to make meaningful progress in these goals. Therefore, we scan their budget to find ways to free up margin. Here's how one of those recent conversations played out. About three-quarters of the way down the budget, we find this: "Dining Out: $800." This is a single-month number for two parents and two under-10 kids.
This is the moment where I point out that perhaps $800 is a bit heavy.
"But we hardly even go out to eat. We maybe go out once per week. I don't think we can cut this category."
**This is me doing my best to keep a straight face**
I happen to live in a family with two parents and two under-10 kids, and live in the same town they do.
I didn't do a good job of keeping my straight face, and they could see my skepticism. "It costs at least $120 just to go to xyz restaurant. Going out to eat is ridiculously expensive these days!"
It was ironic they used xyz restaurant as an example, as my family just visited xyz restaurant the prior week.
"Well, I took my family to xyz restaurant last week, and our total bill was $45."
"That's impossible!"
We compared notes. When my family goes to this restaurant, we order three entrees and eat family style; plenty of food! We also get water. No appetizers, no desserts. When they go to this restaurant, they each order a full adult entree.....which is beyond overkill for their family. But first, they start with an appetizer or two. Everyone also gets a "fun drink," as my kids call them. Lastly, they might get some desserts to polish off the night.
A little discretion goes a long way. Please don't hear me condemning their dining experience. I'm all for going all-in on dining. However, it's a party foul to use no discretion, spend $120 for what could have been accomplished with $45, call it a need, and subsequently whiff on your goals. Sometimes, we need to have boundaries.
For those of you interested, my family's monthly dining out budget averages $250 these days. It's rarely glamorous, but it does provide a margin for multiple outings with my family each month, plus a date night. We could definitely push this number higher, but for now, it allows us to knock out some other goals. There's a season for everything.
A little discretion goes a long way. Please don't allow "normal" to sweep you away and rob you of your goals that matter most.
____
Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.