Chess vs. Checkers

A friend recently saved up about $35,000 to purchase a vehicle. He knew what he wanted, educated himself, and walked into the dealership armed with the information to buy a slightly used vehicle. The plan was made, and now it was time to execute!

I called him a few days later. "How did it go?!?! Did you get what you wanted?"

"I ended up with an even better deal!"

Oh man, I was dying to hear more. I was proud of him for nailing this one. After all, he had worked so hard to save that cash. Then, he shared the story......

He walked in with a plan to pay $35,000 in cash for a 3-year-old model he had his eyes on, but walked out with a brand-new model with a $52,000 price tag. What?!?! Wait, where's the better deal? "They offered me 1.95% for a 72-month loan.....that's practically free money! I make much more than that on my high-yield savings, so I'm actually making money on the deal."

Here's how he framed it:

• If he had paid cash, it would have cost him $52,000.

• With a $765 loan payment for 72 months, it would cost him only $55,000 over 6 years. Just $3,000 more for the privilege of stringing it out for 6 years.

• Now, he can keep his $35,000 in his high-yield savings account. At 3.5% interest, he'll make $1,200 per year, or $8,600 over the next 6 years.

• $8,600 of interest earned minus $3,000 of interest paid = He's coming out +$5,600 on the deal. Boom!

He couldn't have been more excited. He felt like he just won the game. However, I don't think he's looking at this through the proper lens. He didn't come out $5,600 better on the deal. He walked in hoping to spend $35,000 on a vehicle and walked out committed to spending $55,000. That feels more like spending $20,000 MORE than planned.

Further, he now has to tell his wife that he just signed up for a $765/month vehicle payment just one year after promising each other they wouldn't go back to playing the debt game (after grinding their way out of the last one). As he put it, adding $765/month to the monthly budget won't be simple, "but the deal was too good to pass up."

He thought he won, but he was playing checkers while the dealership was playing chess. The salesperson knew which buttons to push, and thoroughly pushed them.

Here's the thing. My buddy is a smart dude. In fact, I'd dare call him brilliant in many ways. He has a truly gifted mind, and he's tremendously successful at his craft. However, he's also human. He's not immune to the psychological games being played on us on a daily basis.

It's so easy to get played. We think we're winning, but we're playing checkers while the person on the other end is busy playing chess. We need to be mindful. And in the world of personal finance, debt is often used as a creative tool for the chess player.

Stay vigilant, my friends! These are winnable battles, for sure, but we must keep our wits about us as we navigate this world of finance. One day, one decision at a time. You got this!

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Numbing the Pain Sensors

"How much should I spend on a car?" a friend asked me recently.

"How much cash do you have saved for a car?" I asked in return.

"About $18,000, give or take."

"Then I would spend $18,000 or less."

He stared at me for a moment, pondering what to say next. "But the car I want costs $35,000. How do I know if I can afford that?"

"It's pretty simple. You'd be able to afford it if you had $35,000 saved up. But since you only have $18,000, you definitely can't afford it."

He stared again. "What should I do, then?"

"Either buy a $18,000 vehicle now, or keep saving until you can afford a more expensive vehicle."

I think we complicate things too much, especially with vehicle decisions. Then, we add the psychological warfare of debt into the mix, and we get completely twisted up. That's where my friend went next.

"There's no scenario where I would spend $35,000 of cash on a vehicle. That's why I want to finance it."

See what's happening here? The debt pollutes our decision-making. He just admitted he would never exchange $35,000 of cash for a vehicle (because it's a lot!!!!), but he would mindlessly sign papers to finance $35,000, $45,000, or even $55,000. He said he'd have no problem financing a vehicle up to about $70,000, but wouldn't feel comfortable spending more than $20,000 of cash on a vehicle.

See the problem here? The debt numbs the emotional triggers that tell us something might be a questionable-to-poor decision. He would have an emotional breakdown paying $25,000 for a car, but he wouldn't flinch at spending $65,000 with debt. That's how we Americans have enslaved ourselves in crippling debt payments.

If we really want to make proper choices, we'd take debt out of the mix and look at everything through the lens of cash. Are we really willing to pay for something, or are we just trying to numb our pain sensors by slowly bleeding ourselves out over time?

Update: My buddy called me a few days later. After much consideration, he realized that he was, in fact, being heavily influenced by the debt. There's zero chance he would ever pay cash for an expensive vehicle, and the debt merely allowed him to "cheat the system," in his words. He said he'll likely save up for a few more months and pay cash for a vehicle in the mid-twenties range. I think that's a wise decision! His future self will thank him for that one.

Don't let debt numb you to the realities of your decisions. You'll think more clearly, make better decisions, and create far more freedom in your life. It's worth it.

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Ignorance Is Not, In Fact, Bliss

In working with hundreds of families over the years, one thing is consistently true: We humans have a very poor ability to mentally track how much we spend on x category each month. Example: I recently asked a family how much they spend on dining out each month: "Probably $200, $300 tops."

"Well, we're about to find out," I responded. "Out of curiosity, why do you say $200-$300?"

"Because we kinda track it already. I just know what we spend."

"Kinda tracking is the same as not tracking at all," I said.

Fast forward to the end of the following month, and they had formally tracked all their spending: $913. More than triple their top-end estimate!

"That can't be!" the husband exclaimed. "I know what we spend, and we don't spend $900!"

He's not dumb. He's not a liar. He's not bad at math. He's not trying to pull my leg. This is how we humans mentally accrue math that spans several smaller numbers. We grossly miscalculate the cumulative impact of a string of decisions.

Ignorance isn't bliss. A rough understanding is the same as no understanding. We don't need to be number police and obsess about everything in our lives, but if we want to get better in a certain area, we need to educate ourselves. This is always priority #1 for my coaching clients. There are three steps to getting right with money:

1. Gain awareness

2. Gain control

3. Gain traction

We can't gain control or gain traction until we've first gained awareness. Here's the good news: Gaining awareness doesn't cost money, require special skills, or necessitate a large time commitment. All it requires of us is care and intentionality.

Here's my encouragement. If you're not fully locked into a budget yet, pick a category you want to improve on. For the next calendar month, log every dollar you spend on that category. Use the Notes app on your phone if you'd like. You don't even need to log it to the penny; round to the nearest dollar. Date: Amount. Date: Amount. Date: Amount.

If you commit to the practice for even just one month, you'll gain insights about yourself that will arm you to succeed next month, the month after, and so on. Simple, effective, game-changing. Note: this isn't about spending less; it's about spending better. After we assess what we're actually spending, we can determine if that's a good amount in the context of our lives. Maybe we should spend more! Maybe knowing how much we're spending can help us make better and healthier decisions in the other categories. Maybe we want to put some guardrails in place. So many opportunities for improvement, all stemming from becoming aware.

This isn't supposed to be some magical, earth-shattering idea. Rather, a simple idea that's easy to execute and will provide far more value than it will cost you. Happy tracking!

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Know Thyself

I'm a firm believer in having a brutally honest self-awareness of our own personal foibles, triggers, and weaknesses. For example, I know I can't gamble in any form. I dabbled in sports gambling when I was in college, and within just a few days, I realized it could easily get away from me. Thus, I haven't even considered gambling a single cent in approximately 25 years. I have a keen self-awareness of this nuance, and I act accordingly. I don't believe that makes me weak; rather, it makes me wise.

Some things in our lives are just unhealthy for us.....period. It doesn't mean those things are unhealthy in nature, but for whatever reason, they are unhealthy for us. Again, that doesn't make us weak; it makes us self-aware....and hopefully wise.

Here's another weakness of mine. This button right here:

This button lives on the summary page of every blog e-mail that gets sent into the world. For the last 1,400 days, this button has lived on my phone screen. And for the last 1,400 days, I know this button as the source of much heartache. With a simple click, I could unearth the names of those three people who no longer value this blog enough to receive it each day.

There's nothing like clicking on this button to realize one of the closest people in your life just went out of their way to terminate your work from entering their life. It sounds dramatic, I know! But for whatever reason, this one little button has the power to create unprecedented pain and suffering in my life.

Therefore, knowing this about myself, it's a button I'm unwilling to press. That doesn't make me weak; it makes me wise. For all I know, the three people who went out of their way to rid me of their digital life a few days ago could have been my wife, sister-in-law, and best friend. Who knows!?! Not me! I always know how many people receive and read my blog each day, but I couldn't tell you who they are. I allow that to remain a mystery to me (aside from the thoughtful e-mail replies I receive), and instead, simply focus on writing what I'm called to write.

Know thyself. There are things in your life that are unreasonably tempting, troubling, and risky for you. Things that might not be inherently bad or wrong, but bad or wrong for you. Have the self-awareness to recognize them and the humility to make the right decisions. Often, these little decisions free us up to live the life we're called to live. A life full of much more meaning and a lot less turmoil. Free yourself! Be wise! A few simple decisions could unlock the better you deserve.

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Not Weird At All

We're going to swing the pendulum back to the money side today, which was spurred by a series of conversations I had with friends over the past few days. Specifically, they asked me about the U.S. stock market. One friend pointed out that if the year ended today, the market would be up about 13% for the year. Their understanding is that the stock market is supposed to give us an 8%-10% annual return. Further, based on their recent memories, they can't recall in recent history when the market actually finished a year in the 8%-10% range.

"Isn't that weird?" he asked. He was right about the recent past. Here's what the total U.S. stock market has looked like over the past 10 years:

This decade-long span has provided annual returns ranging from -18% to +31%, with no single year falling in the 8%-10% range. It's safe to say that the stock market seems erratic.

This isn't a last-decade phenomenon. Over the past 156 years, only three single years have landed in the 8%-10% range: 1912, 1916, and 1993. The other 153 years fell outside of this range, often ridiculously so. However, when we step back and factor all the wild years into one cohesive data set, the U.S. stock market has averaged 9.25% over those 156 years.

In other words, getting less than 8%-10% in a single year isn't a bad thing. Losing money in a single year isn't a bad thing. Feeling pain in a single year isn't a bad thing. Rather, it's the admission price to earning that long-term 8%-10% we're striving for. We must take the terrible with the great if we want the good. That's the secret to investing.

How does this relate to meaning? In my coaching and teaching, I see far too many people sweating and stressing over this investing stuff, so much so that it hinders their ability to live joyful and meaningful lives. My challenge for people today is to simply let the market be the market (goods, bads, and everything in between) and pursue a meaningful life. Be patient, quit looking at your investment accounts, and don't let the news bum you out. In the short run, it might feel scary, but in the long run, we will prevail.

Have an awesome day!

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An Experiment In Leisure

I often write about my qualms with our cultural obsession with retirement. Specifically, our collective pursuit of a life of leisure. In theory, this is the secret to happiness and satiation, but in reality, it's just empty calories. Instead, what we should all be pursuing is a life filled with meaning. No, leisure isn't a bad thing, and we should all find ways to enjoy leisure along the journey. However, leisure for leisure's sake is ultimately an unsatiating endeavor.

This brings me to an experiment I recently conducted. In May, I decided to carve out a little extra time for leisure this summer. A few more trips, a few more low-key days. I didn't plan these trips and events methodically, but rather, slotted them in wherever they fit. The accidental consequence was a three-week stretch that included the following:

• 5 days in NYC with the family.

• A few days at home.

• A 3-day conference in Chicago to learn, grow, and enjoy.

• A few days at home.

• 8 days on the lake with the family.

I'm currently in the middle of my lake time with the family. We've had a great time together. Heck, I enjoyed NYC and the conference as well. It's all been wonderful. Just one problem: It's too much leisure! I can't even explain how much I miss my normal rhythm of work, productivity, and impact. I'm ready to get back into the grind.

Leisure is amazing, but just like chocolate chip cookies, Old Fashioneds, and the free breadsticks served at Fazoli's, too much of a good thing isn't a good thing. Leisure has its place, and that's properly sandwiched between good work.

These last three weeks have proven to me once again that traditional retirement is not the ticket to happiness. Leisure, without having something to leisure from, just doesn't hit as hard. As many of my friends and I have gotten older, I've explored this topic with many people. What should "retirement" look like? For me, it will likely take the form of full-time work, but with more trips. Maybe three weeks on, one week off. Or six weeks on, two weeks off. Maybe it will be one full-time job. Maybe it will be a series of smaller, part-time jobs. Maybe it will be running my companies. Maybe it will be doing consulting work, speaking, and/or writing. Maybe it will be volunteering.

I have no idea what that Travis will have in store for him. But one thing I do know is that leisure for leisure's sake is not in the cards. Leisure, yes. But leisure sandwiched between good work. That's the ticket.

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Anchoring

Why do you spend $x on a certain category each month? The answer probably isn't too deep, and it likely has something to do with the fact that's what you always spend on said category each month. But why? Because that's the way you've always done it.....or at least that's the way you've done it long enough for it to be ultra-normalized.

Now, maybe that's how much you should spend on that category. Maybe it's the perfect number, but probably not. It's probably not even close to the right number. However, we choose that number because we're anchored by the past. We're so accustomed to spending that amount of money each month that we don't even question what it should be. Should it be more? Should it be less? We haven't even considered it!

Once in a while, I'll ask a client who is fully locked into their finances to complete a fun exercise. Instead of basing their next month's budget off what they've done in the past, I'll give them a blank budget with all their utilized categories, and force them to build it from scratch.

You might think they would largely end up in the same place as what they already do every month. You'd be wrong! Most times, this exercise yields completely different results. It's amazing what happens when we remove the anchors from our decisions, and instead, assess each category as it actually lives in our lives. There's a purity in this exercise. It allows us to remove the fog of complacency, the bias toward past realities, and the frictionless non-decision of maintaining the status quo.

I actually think Sarah and I are in need of this exercise soon. Our monthly budgets haven't changed much in the past 18 months, and I don't think that's a good thing. Instead of anchoring ourselves in "normal," we should look at each category through the lens of our current reality. I have a feeling many changes will be made. I encourage you to try this exercise, too!

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The Timing Couldn’t Have Been More Perfect

I received an amazing text yesterday! A casual friend texted me out of the blue, as he does from time to time. He loves talking about finance, investing, and the stock market. Here was his text: "When do you think the stock market will turn around and recover?"

That's an interesting question.....and an amazing text! What makes it an amazing text, you might ask? Yesterday, the U.S. stock market hit an all-time 155-year high, eclipsing the prior all-time high achieved on June 2nd. Never in history has the U.S. stock market been at a higher level. At the same time, millions of people, including my friend mentioned above, have been led to believe that everything in our country has fallen apart, including the stock market.

It goes to show just how easily people can be manipulated by the news and social media. Even though we all live in a certain reality, all people have to do is repeat the lie enough times for us to believe it. That concept has been studied and practiced for centuries, and this is just a modern version of it.

Year-to-date, the stock market is up by more than 13%. This comes on the heels of +18% in 2025, +25% in 2024, and +26% in 2023. I think the better question we should be asking is, "When will the market crash again?"

My most reasonable answer is, "soon," but nobody knows. Nobody knows.....especially the news and social media. If that's true, what shall we do? I propose we do nothing. The stock market always crashes. That's a feature of a healthy and functioning market. Therefore, I propose we all just take a deep breath, stop doomscrolling, and live our lives. If the market crashes, it crashes. Every crash in the history of our great country has been followed by a period of growth, eventually dwarfing the previous all-time highs.

I hope you find this encouraging, as many people are anxious right now. No, the market hasn't crashed. Yes, it will crash in due time. No, you shouldn't worry. Just stay the course, live meaningful lives, and let the chips fall how they may. And if history can tell us anything, the chips always fall in our favor....eventually.

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The Moment I Knew

One of my commercial clients is comprised of three young, talented, hungry owners. They are brilliant at their craft, but not accomplished business owners.....yet. In the midst of trying to grow their newish business, they lost a key client. Many of their aspirations for near-term growth skidded to a halt, replaced by a sudden need to piece together a few deals to stay afloat.

One of them recently reached out with a question. I immediately called them back and happened to catch them while they were driving across the state for a work project. One of the owners said something to me that quickly caught my attention. They recently purchased a mobile Starlink unit so they have high-speed internet in their vehicle on road trips. Why? "While we're on the road, the two people who aren't driving spend time contacting and pitching everyone. Old clients, warm prospects, cold prospects.....everyone."

That's the moment I knew they were going to be just fine. Being brilliant at our craft isn't enough. Often, it takes a mastery of our craft combined with a relentlessness and humility to just go for it. What makes these three individuals unique is that they are impervious to failure. They could have 1,000 doors violently slam in their face, only to knock on the 1,001st door with full confidence that it will be a "yes."

I wish I had that same relentlessness gear they do. I've been thinking a lot about that conversation, and it's forced me to look in the mirror with my own attitude and approach. For as successful as I feel like I've been, I can't help but wonder what things would look like if I developed a gear like these three have. It's an interesting thought experiment, and it pushes me out of my comfort zone. Maybe you need a similar nudge today. A nudge to develop a relentlessness and motor to keep going, regardless of how many shut doors you encounter. Something to think about as you go about your day. Have an awesome one!

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Chicken or Egg?

I recently stumbled upon a heated online conversation on a social media platform. The original poster posed a question: "If so many people are struggling right now, why are there so many people with brand-new vehicles parked in their driveways?" It seemed counterintuitive, as these new vehicles are presumably evidence that people are doing well.

Let's just say the comments were lively. Hundreds of people chimed in, positively confirming that most people are, in fact, doing great. The commenters believed they, individually, were simply part of the small share of people who are struggling, while everyone else is thriving.

I have news to break to them (and anyone else who will listen). Those brand-new vehicles sitting in people's driveways aren't evidence that people are doing great. Rather, those same vehicles are one of the primary culprits for why people are struggling so much. People's vehicles are putting them into a financial grave, month after month.

I recently met with a successful-looking couple who, from the outside, appear to have it all put together. They are fit, their kids are cute, their house is immaculate, they have good jobs, and they both drive new vehicles. The subject of the conversation? How they can stay financially afloat and not lose everything. Truth be told, their monthly finances didn't contain many red flags. Lots of normal, but not outlandish spending allocations. However, there were two major red flags.....and both were parked in their garage:

• His vehicle: $1,100/month payment

• Her vehicle: $850/month payment

Total vehicle payments of $1,950. In my brain, that's called a mortgage payment. Two thousand bucks for vehicles!?!? Both assured me that 1) they can afford them, 2) they are perfectly reasonable vehicles, and 3) everyone else has at least as nice vehicles as they do.

They aren't alone. This is a dynamic I see every single week in my coaching work. I've met with hundreds of families, and vehicle tension is the leading contributor to financial pain, suffering, tension, stress, and destruction. Not a lack of income, student loan debt, a failure to budget, or limited financial literacy. Vehicles. Vehicles are literally milking an entire society dry.

Many people who read this piece will roll their eyes at me. This topic often draws the ire of those who digest my content daily. That's okay, though, as this message needs to be shared over and over and over. I so badly want people to live a quality of life, and if I can get them to make different decisions in this vehicle department, I strongly believe it will have a direct positive impact on their quality of life.

We need more humility. We need more patience. We need to care a whole lot less about what others think. That's the ticket to some beautiful things in our lives. Please don't allow a vehicle to play a significant role in your journey. It can play a role, but not a leading role. You deserve better; much, much better!

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Outgrowing Your Structure

I recently met with a couple who are becoming progressively more frustrated with their finances. This seems counterintuitive, though, as they are making far more money than they ever have before. Why, then, are they getting frustrated? It's pretty simple: The current complexity of their life has outgrown their financial structure.

Translation: The way they used to handle finances worked well then, but not so much anymore. It was easy to wing it and be more casual when there was less income and fewer obligations. However, life is getting more complicated, and the old way of doing things seems inadequate at best, destructive at worst.

It reminds me of a similar situation we're having at Northern Vessel. Nearly four years in, it's safe to say our business looks a little different than it once did. During a recent team dinner (celebrating one of our team members who left to pursue a new dream), it was time to pay the bill. TJ couldn't be there, so it was on me to pay. Unfortunately, I forgot to ask TJ for the debit card. At the last second, Jack swooped in to pay the bill, somehow having TJ's card in his wallet.

That's right, we literally have only one debit card. The entire company has been operating with one debit card and one checkbook. We have tens of thousands of dollars in monthly expenses, yet the entire operation rests on one debit card and one checkbook. We've outgrown our structure, and we're experiencing the consequences.

Whether it's the family I mentioned above or a company like Northern Vessel, we must iterate on the structure as we grow. What once worked might not be adequate in the new season of being. Taking the "this is the way we've always done it" approach is a surefire way to end up in a bad place. Therefore, we need to give ourselves permission to evolve, adjust, and continue to find better ways to handle ourselves.

Some of you are handling your family's finances the same way you did when you were young, single, broke, and fresh out of college. Except now, you have a spouse, kids, a house, and multiple incomes. It might be time to update the structure! For some of you, simply upgrading the way you do things might be the ticket to significantly better outcomes. It doesn't matter if you've done it the same way for 20 years.....it might be time to adjust.

Never be scared to make changes. As life becomes more complicated, find ways to simplify and find order amidst the chaos. You'll thank yourself later!

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What’s Your Weird?

People frequently tell me that I'm "weird" in how I spend money. I never take offense to these comments. In fact, I love them! I wear them as a badge of honor, and in some ways, they tell me I'm right where I need to be. Here are some examples of things people have told me I'm weird for doing:

• When it comes to my personal residence, I'm a perpetual renter. I've owned two houses in my adult life, but I much prefer renting over owning.

• The biggest category in our household budget is giving. This is non-negotiable.

• Our second-largest category is travel. This is also a non-negotiable.

• I will gleefully spend a few hundred dollars on a first-class meal. I've had $25 dinners that felt expensive and $250 dinners that felt cheap. An amazing meal is worth its weight in gold.

• There's no amount of money too much when it comes to creating once-in-a-lifetime memories.

• When I'm at a coffee shop, restaurant, or bar with someone, I almost always offer to pay for them.

• If someone offers to buy my coffee, meal, or drink, I accept.....always. No exceptions.

• When eating at a sit-down restaurant, the minimum I’ll tip is 20%, but it’s usually closer to 40%-50% if the server demonstrates excellence. It’s one of the few areas of life where people will gratefully accept generosity, so I love to lean into it as much as possible.

• I will never purchase a new vehicle. In fact, I've never purchased a new vehicle. At best, any vehicle I purchase is probably at least 3-4 years old.

• I will always pay for services that save me time, sanity, or stress.

What say you? Do you find these weird? I hope so, as you're different than me. That's what makes this money stuff so fascinating. We're all wired differently, heavily influenced by our experiences, values, upbringing, and circumstances.

I want to know what weird money habits you have. Please hit reply to this e-mail if you're a subscriber, or comment below if you're on the website. Please share your quirks with me. If enough people reply, I'll put together a fun little list and share it in a future post. Have an awesome (and weird!) day.

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There Are No Secrets

After a recent public speaking engagement, during the customary Q&A session, someone asked an interesting question: "I heard you've written and published your writing more than twelve hundred days in a row. First, is that true? If so, what are your secrets?"

Every day since November 14th, 2022. Pushing nearly 1,400 days now. It hurts my head to think about that. It doesn't feel real; it doesn't feel possible.

The secret is there are no secrets. As I've learned about writing, and the same goes for almost any discipline, the only way to write is to write. The only way to publish is to publish. What is required of me is to sit down in front of a screen and create.

Follow-up question: "Do you write a bunch at once and batch it for the next several days?"

No batching. One piece of writing per day, every day, no exceptions. There's something wild that happens inside us when we eliminate the excuses and just commit to the craft. It strips away any and all shortcuts and shortcircuits that could potentially sabotage the habits we're trying to create. I write because I write because I write. At some point, these habits become as normalized and as common as brushing our teeth or tying our shoes. It's just what we do.

Here's another way to think about it, back to my comment above about how it doesn't feel real or possible to write nearly 1,400 days in a row. The good news is I didn't have to write 1,400 pieces. I just had to write one. Then another one. Then another. I'm writing one today. Then tomorrow, I'll write one, too. The only one that matters is the next one. There's a freedom in that! Whatever we're trying to accomplish, just worry about the next one. After that one is done, we can worry about what lies on the other side of that one.

So many people have so many dreams. But those dreams seem daunting, maybe even impossible. You don't need to accomplish all those dreams in one fell swoop. You only need to accomplish the next thing that's sitting in front of you. Then, move on to the next.

I recently had a buddy run a marathon. Running 26.2 miles boggles my mind, so I asked him how he approaches it. "It usually takes me about 40,000 steps to complete it. It's too overwhelming to think about 40,000 steps, so I just try to focus on the next step. If I can stay focused and use good technique for the next step, eventually, the next step will be the 40,000th step. It just kinda happens."

The next step. The next step is all that matters. That's the secret. There are no secrets. Just one foot in front of the other, whether literally or figuratively. Have a great day!

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The Want-to-Need Migration

Much discourse centers around the idea that life is so much more expensive today than it used to be. We blame inflation, capitalism, Boomers, politicians, and the systemic structure of our modern-day society. In other words, we love to blame everyone except the person in the mirror. Has life gotten more expensive? Sure. It always does. That's how inflation and the time value of money work. In all of this discourse, I think we've missed the biggest culprit of all: the want-to-need migration.

Over the past 25 years, I've personally witnessed a slow and steady cultural shift from what was once a want to now a need. Houses are a great example. When I was a kid, young families lived in small, conservative houses. However, over time, the average square footage of houses in America grew, as did the expectations of younger homeowners. Houses we now consider "starter homes" would have been mini-mansions 25 years ago. What about those small, conservative houses people used to live in? It would be unthinkable to live there!!!! Out of the question! Our expectations for the houses we choose have migrated from a want to a need.

Dining out is another great example. I recently met with a family who said a $600/month dining out budget is a "need." They didn't want a $600 dining out budget; it was a basic human need for their survival. Conversely, 30 years ago, dining out was more of a luxury. In my house, it felt more like a twice-per-month event. Taco Bell was a treat, Pizza Hut was a splurge, and Golden Corral was fancy. Our dining out habits have migrated from a want to a need.

Off the top of my head, I can think of countless items we now call needs that would have been wants 20+ years ago, including:

• Streaming services (many people didn't even have basic cable in the 80s and 90s).

• Cell phones (not in most people's budgets).

• Internet service (also scarce).

• Plane tickets (air travel used to be rare; today it's the norm).

• Coffee shops (as the 90s kids ask, "What's a coffee shop and why would anyone go there?")

• Online shopping (it was much harder to spend money in the pre-internet days, when you used to have to drive to the store. Today, click, click, click....delivery in an hour).

I'm not saying there's anything wrong here. In fact, I enjoy all of those things I just listed. They are part of my budget and part of my family's rhythm of life. I'm grateful for them. However, we ought not forget what's really a need and what's really a want. Sometimes, we need to get back to basics: food, clothing, transportation, and shelter. Let our needs be needs, then address our needs head-on. Once we've accomplished that, then we can move on to the wants. But let's let wants be wants. View them as such. Treat them as such. Enjoy them as such. Don't let your wants migrate into needs.....that's the gateway drug to much stress and bad outcomes.

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Exhibit #975

I talk often about the hidden psychological forces that influence our daily habits and decision-making. These hidden forces play a much larger role in our lives than we'd like to admit, and most people won't admit it. Today, I'd like to talk about Exhibit #975. Is it really #975? Not sure....I'm just guessing at this point!

I recently stumbled upon a social media video in which a woman asked, "If you were offered a free vacation, but you weren't allowed to post any photos of the vacation on social media, would you still go?" She continued by saying that she would feel that a trip without social media photos would be "a waste," and thus would decline.

My first reaction to her question was, "Of course I’d go! In fact, I'd prefer not to share a single photo of my trip! Double win!"

I saw lots of similar remarks in her comments. However, the vast majority of people agreed with her. If you can't post photos of your trip on social media, what's the point? Thousands of people chimed in, arguing that there's not much of a point in going on a vacation if you can't share content from it. Many people said they'd rather pay to go on the same trip so they can post whatever they want.

Depending on the study, 45%-55% of Millennials and Gen Z care about their vacations looking good on social media. Some even select their travel destinations solely for the aesthetics of the soon-to-be social media posts. In other surveys, approximately 20% of people admit to posting photos to boast, while another 10% admit to posting photos to incite jealousy from their friends, family, and colleagues. Here’s another fun one. 75% of people say they get annoyed when friends and family post vacation photos, yet even so, 75% of those annoyed people will do the same by posting their own photos. It’s a social media arms race of vacation photos!

We, humans, are a weird bunch. Now, regardless of what side of the aisle you land on with this question, this is another piece of evidence illustrating just how much we're being influenced by culture. You and I might not be struck by this particular ridiculous affliction, but we're struck by some other, equally ridiculous afflictions. Somewhere, deep down in our psyche, we're being manipulated by a combination of our culture and our subconscious.

Maybe it's the vehicles we're buying. Maybe it's the houses we're living in. Maybe it's the clothes we're wearing. Maybe it's the clubs we're joining. Maybe it's the technology we're using. I'm not suggesting that we ought to stop being impacted by these forces. If we're human, it's inescapable. Instead, what I'm suggesting is that we become aware of it in our own lives. Once we have awareness, we can take it into account in our decision-making process and make better choices.

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If Everything Is Important…..

I received a half-dozen messages yesterday in defense of the family I discussed in yesterday’s post. In short, people defended this family's actions by saying that all of these things were important. Thus, this family was simply a victim of having all these important things stacked on them.

Here's a general truth. If everything is important, nothing is important. Let's say there are 50 different things vying for our time or money, and all of them are deemed "important." If they all occupy the same plane of importance, then none of them are actually important. In a world of relativity, none of them win.

This is the curse that strikes so many of us. Our budgets are living testimonies of this. For example, I'll regularly meet people who are actively saving for 15 different things—$ 25 here, $30 there. When I do the math, I point out to them that it will take years to knock out any of them. That becomes immensely frustrating, eventually defeating.

For this reason, we need to truly prioritize. Are some of these things in our lives needs and wants? Yes. That's totally cool. Allow them to live in our hearts and minds. However, we need to be honest with ourselves when setting priorities. Once we have our list of upcoming needs and wants, do whatever it takes to prioritize them so your values can be lived out.

If everything is important, nothing is important. Therefore, keep it simple, prioritize, and execute. Confidently knock out the most important goal, then move on to the next.

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Don’t Let the Sequence Fool You

A young man asked me to look over his finances and help him get some control. Included in this conversation was a review of his most recent bank statement.

"Dude, you spent $700 more than you made last month!" I exclaimed.

"I had to buy groceries at the end of the month. What, you expect me just not to eat?"

"No, I expect you not to implode your finances by plunging yourself into debt."

"I had no choice, Travis! Either I buy groceries, or I don't eat."

"The sequence of your purchases isn't what matters here. That $700 of overspend doesn't just get credited to the last $700 you spent in the month."

"Again, I HAD to buy groceries."

"Did you need the other $1,200 of impulse purchases you made before that?"

“……….”

This young guy fell into the same trap so many do. Instead of viewing his money as a giant puzzle, he viewed it as a sequence of transactions. Then, when he had known and tangible needs, he acted (even though he had already exceeded his budgeted income for the month). This is how we end up in debt. This is how we never have funds for wants. This is how we can't afford to invest. This is how we justify not giving. We spend, spend, spend, then when a NEED arises, we flippantly meet that need without regard for the consequences.

It's a psychological phenomenon that often strikes us humans. If you're human, you're subject to it. What's the solution? Have a plan for the month. The WHOLE month. We know we need groceries. We know the rent or mortgage has to get paid. We know we'll need to put fuel in the vehicles. These are known expenses. Therefore, plan accordingly. While we're planning, we should also plan for the fun stuff. Plan for the dining out. Plan for the date nights. Plan for the concerts. Plan for the plane tickets. Plan for the new clothing. The keyword is "plan."

Let's remove the bias toward sequence and replace it with a bias toward intentionality. Oh, you really, really want a new Blackstone grill? Great! Is it in your plan? If not, then don't do it. Put it in your plan next month. Then buy it! The goal here isn't to demonize spending, but to demonize unplanned, impulsive, destructive spending. Let your plan be your plan, then execute. If it includes a fun trip or a Blackstone grill, go for it! But we can't constantly buy things that aren't in the plan, blow past our budget on buying true needs, then blame the needs.

We can do better! We deserve better. We'll thank ourselves for giving ourselves better!

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Mazzulla Has a Good Point

I recently stumbled upon an interesting video clip of Joe Mazzulla. Joe Mazzulla is the head coach of the Boston Celtics, known for his sharp comments to the press. Sometimes, his responses seem a bit unreasonable and impatient. However, there are times when he responds in profound and thoughtful ways. Today's video clip is of the latter.

Reporter (asking Joe about how he's dealing with the brutally difficult stretch his team is going through): "Is there something you're doing in the last 48 hours to keep yourself away from just being consumed with this? Are you watching different movies?"

Joe (with a shocked look on his face): "Honestly, I met three girls under the age of 21 with terminal cancer. I thought I was helping them by talking to them, and they were helping me. And so having an understanding about what life is really all about, and watching a girl dying, and smiling, and enjoying her life.....that's what it's really all about. And having that faith. You know, the other thing is you always hear people give glory to God and say thank you when they're holding a trophy. But you never really hear it in times like this. And so for me, it's an opportunity to just sit right where I'm at and just be faithful. That's what it's about."

Perspective matters. We need to remember what's really important as we live our days. It's so easy to get caught up in the small, ultimately meaningless nuances of life. The person in front of us didn't accelerate when the light turned green. Someone at the coffee shop cut in front of us in the line. Our co-worker gave us a snooty attitude when we asked for a favor. One of those dumb speed cameras caught us going 57 in a 45, and now we must send some rando a $97 fine. We didn’t get the promotion we so desperately wanted.

But then, there's Joe's perspective. Man, we're so blessed. Most of us will wake up today more blessed than the vast majority of people who have ever lived on this planet. Yet, many of us will wallow in self-pity and frustration today, looking for reasons to feel negative about the journey. We lose perspective.

I hope you live today knowing just how blessed you are. Not a perfect life. Not a life void of baggage, pain, and suffering. But blessed nonetheless. Remembering that fact has the potential to re-frame our entire day, allowing us to focus less on ourselves and more on others. That's the ticket to meaning and impact.

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A Middle Finger To Our Future Selves

I remember speaking to a colleague nearly 20 years ago. He was probably in his early 30s at the time, several years ahead of me in his career. While I wasn't necessarily the wisest steward with my financial resources back then, he and I shared many conversations that stopped me in my tracks. These conversations usually centered on the idea that we don't know whether we'll even be alive when we're older, so we might as well "enjoy life" while we're young. And by "enjoy life," he meant spend, spend, spend. He hated the idea of saving, or heaven forbid, investing. If he had it, he was going to blow it on something fun.

Fast forward 20 years, and I recently ran into him. He's now in his 50s, visibly older than when we last connected (as a few decades of life will do). This time, though, his attitude was different. He was asking me about retirement, investing ideas, and the worry about likely not having enough.

To his detriment, he lived out the principles he preached way back then. He spent, spent, and spent, giving little regard for his future self. In fact, I'd argue he gave his future self a hefty middle finger. It turns out, though, that one day, our present self becomes that future self. Today, he's the future self that younger him so blatantly disrespected.

He's scared....as he should be. His options are limited.....as expected. He feels trapped.....which is understandable. Now, his 50-something self is wondering how to navigate not only the present, but the future. He lived a lot of life in his younger days, but his current and future quality of life are very much in question.

This is a tough situation. I have so much empathy for people who face these realities. Unfortunately, I don't have a magic wand to wave for them. I can't undo their past mistakes. There's no magic pill or secret strategy to bridge decades of gaps.

No matter how old you are today, future you is depending on current you to make wise choices. Sacrificial choices. Loving choices. Be a good steward, not only with your finances, but with your body, relationships, children, marriage, and mental health. Future us is pleading for us to be better and do better. Their livelihood depends on it, and soon enough, that will be our present self. Be good to him/her.

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Two Families, Two Perspectives

I had a few interesting conversations last week that showcase an important concept. It's about two different families. Both families live in the same town. Both families have two kids under the age of 12.

Family 1:

• The husband has a monthly take-home income of approximately $10,000.

• The wife has a monthly take-home income of approximately $5,000

• The total monthly take-home income is about $15,000

This family endures constant financial stress. There's rarely anything left over. The credit cards often come out to play. Most purchases are made with debt. There's very little savings, and giving seems like a pipe dream. Marital tensions are running high. Their overall sentiment is that if they just made a little more money, all of this financial stress would go away.

Family 2:

• The husband has a monthly take-home income of approximately $5,000.

• The wife stays at home with their two small children.

• The total monthly take-home income is about $5,000.

This family's entire monthly income stream approximates the lower-income earner in Family 1. Their total take-home income is 1/3 of the other family's! Yet, they don't feel financial stress. No, there isn't a ton of extra each month, and they need to be diligent with the dollars they do have, but life is good! They consider themselves blessed, save for the future, and ensure giving is part of their monthly rhythm.

Would more money help? Yeah, it probably would. However, more isn't the answer. More isn't what defines our success. More isn't some magic pill that solves all of life's problems. This is a phenomenon I see over and over. Yes, more income can help, but 90% of our problems are the person staring back at us in the mirror, not the dollar amount on our paycheck. The sooner we realize this, the sooner we can take steps actually to improve our quality of life.

Final thought. Just imagine if we could do both. First, we get right with our relationship with money. We have a healthy mindset. We establish solid practices. We make the best use of every dollar we're blessed with.

Then, second, we find ways to increase our income along the way. We put in the work. We practice excellence. We pay our dues. We meet people's needs. We add value to the organization. When we do these things, additional income is a natural byproduct.

Combining these two ideas can literally revolutionize our lives. When we get right with money and put in the work, it's amazing what can happen!

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