I spent nearly 20 years seeking and pursuing the elusive concept known as "balance." Some call it work-life balance. I wanted to find the right balance between work and play, co-workers and family, rest and non-rest, stress and non-stress. I obsessed over this never-attainable idea for so long before making a harsh discovery: there's no such thing as balance.
The concept of balance looks good in a textbook or a slogan, but it rarely plays out that way in real life. Instead, our lives are a pendulum, constantly swinging back and forth. And like all pendulums, it never settles in the middle.
I returned home last night after 11 consecutive days on the road:
Des Moines > KC > Columbus (OH) > KC > N. Nebraska > KC > Des Moines.
I went on an anniversary trip with Sarah, spent a week working with a client, and then Pax had a lacrosse tournament. There was nothing balanced about any of that. Sarah and I had a blast, then I worked my butt off, and then I supported my kid while he lived his best lacrosse life.
Instead of balance, I look at my life as a series of sprints. We're never going to get it right. We'll always feel out of balance at any given time. It will be too much work, too much family, too much rest, not enough rest, too much stress, not enough stress.......until we die.
After trying to figure this out for 20 years, I've landed on a pretty lame but powerful conclusion: It's okay. We'll never get it right, and that's okay. We'll always feel out of balance, and that's okay. The bigger question is this: "Do I find meaning in it?" If "yes," we're winning. If "no," perhaps it's time to re-examine. But balance, in and of itself, shouldn't define or dictate our success. It's a perpetually elusive goal that will make us feel like losers every step of the way. One sprint after another!
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