What About the Others?

I've received a lot of fun feedback on yesterday's post about my former youth group kid who is actively living her 15-year-old self's dream. The primary objective of my post was to encourage people to follow through with their callings, regardless of what others (i.e., critics or doubters) may say.

One reader asked the following question via e-mail: "What about the others? What about all the people who tried following your advice and ultimately failed? For every 1 success story, what if there are 3 failure stories?"

I'm not naive to the reality that not every one of our dreams is going to pan out every single time. That's one of the reasons I often phrase it as the "pursuit of meaning or the "pursuit of work that matters." Everything in life worth doing involves the risk of us falling flat on our faces.

I love this blog reader's question, though, as it's so, so relevant to the conversation. I don't think this person was trying to be a pessimist or a Debbie Downer. More of a realist, if you will. In short, here's how I would answer the question: If we fail in the pursuit of the thing we desire most, then at least we know. Failure isn't a poison, but regret is. The regret of not trying. The regret of wondering "what if." The regret of not seizing the moment. The regret of not going for it. The regret of never knowing if we could have achieved it. Regret is one of the biggest toxins we humans can consume, and many of us consume it often.

Let's say my friend is correct in that only 1 out of 4 people actually achieve the goal. Does that mean the other three are losers? I'd argue that, while they didn't achieve what they set out to, at least they can live the rest of their lives without the regret of not knowing. That, in my opinion, is worth a ton!

No regrets. It doesn't mean we won't face pain, suffering, or loss, but it hopefully means we won't spend the rest of our days wondering what could have been. That is so, so important.

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