The Stock Market Is Melting....or Is It?

Per usual, there's been a lot of talk about how bad the stock market is. According to the prevailing narrative, it's "risky," people have lost a lot of money, and it's not wise to put money in it. Whenever I wander into these types of conversations, I always ask why people think that. Inevitably, the answer is some form of "because it's lost so much money." 

First, I'm not belittling anyone here. I understand perfectly well why people have this impression of the stock market. If you watch the news, they consistently report the big red arrows pointing down......but rarely show the big green arrows pointing up. It's doom and gloom. If it bleeds, it leads. 

There's also the reality that the 21st century has started a bit (er, a lot) rocky. Over the last 23.5 years, here's what we've experienced:

• Y2K

• Tech bubble burst

• Worst terror attack in US history

• Multiple wars

• 2nd worst recession in US history

• Housing market collapse

• Global pandemic

• rampant inflation

• 4 stock market crashes (-46%, -54%, -32%, and -25%)

Pretty insane, right?!?!

So when people feel like the world is melting and the stock market is an absolute disaster, I get it. But what's the truth? Through all that, over 23.5 years, the stock market is up 6.7% per year. If you would have invested on 1/1/2000, your money would be worth 4.6x what it started as. You more than quadrupled your money. Re-read my list of chaos above.....then digest that the market has gone up 4.6x through all that. Crazy, but true!

Perspective matters, as I love to say. Our world takes simple, practical, and effective ideas, and perverts them into urban legends and half-truths. Truth matters, but there's so much noise in the financial world that it's hard to see it sometimes. 

Whether you're investing in your work's 401(k)/403(b), your IRAs, or other types of stock market investing, remember this concept, and don't lose any sleep at night! In the world of meaning over money, losing sleep over investments is not leaning into the meaning. You got this!

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Yesterday, we released a podcast episode about the same topic. If you have a friend who enjoys reading, please consider passing along the blog post. If you have a friend who enjoys listening to podcasts, please consider the same. You can find it on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. 

Note: The figures mentioned above are based on the S&P 500 and include the reinvestment of dividends.

Coke and Context

I was recently trading texts with an old high school friend. We usually text about NBA basketball, but other times we hit on parenting, work, relationships, and life. In this particular conversation, he mentioned the prevalence of drugs in his world. A bit confused, I started asking him some questions. He was saying things that I cannot relate to in any shape or form. He's my exact age, and we spent most of our childhoods living in the same tiny town, hanging with the same people. If I wasn't already disoriented enough, he dropped a comment that shook me, "Honestly, it's hard to meet a girl who doesn't do coke." That's a different type of relational challenge than I've struggled with.....to put it lightly.

This is one of the beautiful parts about spending time with all types of people. The context of their lives can tremendously vary from one person to the next. It's wild to think about, sometimes. Whenever something happens to us, or we see/hear something, or we learn something new, we experience it through the context of our own journey. This is natural, and it's human nature. But it also limits our ability to see the bigger picture....and can prevent us from having empathy for others.

In our polarizing, black-and-white world, we leave little room for nuance or contextual answers. What's right for one family might not be suitable for another. This is where financial advice can go awry. We treat everything like it's carved into a stone tablet. If you do x, you're smart. If you do y, you're dumb. This type of mentality is causing some to sabotage their lives while leaving others completely paralyzed due to an internal conflict between what is "right" and what they know is probably a more fitting answer.

It's not uncommon for me to give one piece of advice to a family, then a few hours later give the total opposite advice to another. Context matters. Here's where I want to land the plane today. Regardless of who, where, and when you hear advice (financial or otherwise), look at it through the lens of your unique journey. The deliverer of the advice may be giving it through the lens of a different context, or perhaps their perspective is limited to their own tiny view of the world. It might be the best advice in the world......or not. There's no magic pills here. If all else fails, find a diverse group of people in your life to bounce ideas off. The collection of varying feedback you get will be telling, and valuable!

"Daddy is Helping People"

I didn't become a parent until I was 35 years old. One of the benefits of not becoming a parent until later in life is it allowed me to watch everyone around me parent. As I watched, I noticed one trend that disturbed me. Kids would freak out when their parents went to work. To an extent, I understood this. Kids want to be with their parents.....period. However, I noticed something else. Whenever the topic came up, it was communicated in some variation of the following: "I have to go to work." 

Two things stand out about this phrase. First, "have to" designates it's not a choice. The parent must do it, even if they don't want to. Work = bad. Second, the word "work" doesn't have much context. Small children may not fully understand this word, and later it will be merely understood by the child as a "job," or something you do for money. 

I decided to change the narrative when I became a father. From the time Finn and Pax were babies, we never used the phrase "go to work." Instead, it was always "go help people." When the kids eventually began to verbally converse, Sarah didn't say, "Daddy has to go work." It was, "Daddy is helping people." It may sound like I'm splitting hairs, but the difference is staggering.....especially for kids. 

My kids don't always like when I leave to "go help people," but they understand it at a deeper level. They know I do it because a) I want to help people, b) helping people is a good thing, and c) helping people results in money that we can use to pay the bills, give, and do fun things. Work = good.

It all came full circle yesterday. The Northern Vessel farmer's market crew was down a man, so TJ asked if I'd be willing to be the third man (who makes sure the ice, cups, lids, and all other supplies are constantly stocked so the other two can serve people with hospitality and efficiency). I told him I would, but I needed to have the kids with me since Sarah was traveling. What an excellent opportunity to put the kids to the test! I was a bit nervous going in, but they absolutely blew me away! They worked hard, stayed focused, accomplished the mission, and had fun doing it. They worked their little butts off.....and it was a lot! At some point in the morning, Finn looked over to me and said, "Daddy, I love helping people. I'm having so much fun. I wish we could do it longer." 

So many good things have come out of this mission to redefine "work" with our kids:

• A desire to serve people

• An appreciation and respect for the importance of work

• A desire to take on challenging work

• The enjoyment of work

It was a wonderful day, and I’m so glad I was able to experience that with them.

In the Zone

Today's post is a weird topic, but since it's my blog, I suppose I get to do that. I've recently been thinking about the idea of being "in the zone." It's a common concept in sports. It makes me think back to Michael Jordan and some of his dominating performances over his illustrious career. Though mine weren't as infamous as his, I vividly remember being in the zone a time or two in my basketball career. Notably, a 47-point game in a JV tournament when I was a freshman in high school. It was like a switch inside me flipped, and everything around me was in slow motion. It was still me, but it was a different version. Nearly 30 years later, I still remember those feelings like it was yesterday.

Last week, I was in a meeting with a friend. This guy is a very mild-mannered man. Soft-spoken, humble, and methodical with his approach. But something happened to him during this meeting. A switch flipped, and he became a similar but different person. He was in the zone. My jaw dropped. It was stunning to watch. In those moments, he was his very best self.

As 90s kid, I still love music videos. I often watch music videos at night before bed, especially from my favorite group, Twenty One Pilots. Recently, one particular live performance video has resonated with me. For context, these two guys are very soft-spoken. They interact with a playfulness and innocence. But something happens when they get on that stage. A switch flips, and they become a different version of themselves. I don't think it's an act, but rather something deep within them that gets turned on when the time is right. They are overcome with the moment and their work. I recommend you check out the video. It perfectly represents what I’m talking about!

My speaking career has been influenced by a lot of people, but none more than Twenty One Pilots's lead singer, Tyler Joseph. Watching him turn it on when he hits the stage has given me a blueprint of how I, too, can flip that switch when it's go-time. I think about this often, including the moments immediately before I step onto the stage. It's a way to get in the zone when the moment calls for it. There's no better feeling for me. It's raging nerves for 30-60 minutes, then a still peace in the minutes leading up to it, then it explodes into what is hopefully a powerful and impactful talk.

Are there moments in your life where you get into the zone? I'd love to hear about them. Mine are the absolute best, most impactful bursts of work for me, so I'm dying to hear what this concept looks like for you. Though much of our work can be mundane and uneventful, I hope you have these profound moments throughout your journey that remind you of what your best self looks like.

Weird post, but I dig it!

A Price Tag on Legacy?

I was talking to someone the other day about big-picture financial goals. This topic often produces some interesting ideas, but there are a few responses I hear over and over. This particular man uttered an all-to-common phrase, "Leave a legacy for my kids." And by legacy, he meant millions of dollars dumped into his children's laps. I know this for two reasons: 1) that's typically what this phrase means in modern America, and 2) he clarified and said it means leaving his kids millions of dollars.

This phrase is common, especially for Christians, for one big reason: it's frequently discussed, advocated for, and glorified by one of the nation's top financial personalities. I hear this phrase multiple times per week, and it usually goes hand-in-hand with similar concepts, such as creating generational wealth, eliminating the need for your kids to work, and giving your kids more than you had. I get a queasy feeling just typing that.....

In a recent podcast episode, Cole and I talked about the idea of leaving our children a bunch of money one day. I made a comment that created more buzz than I had anticipated. I said I didn't believe in leaving large sums of money to my kids. Instead, most of what we have will either be given away upon our death or put into a charitable trust where my kids will manage its longer-term distribution. There are two primary reasons for this perspective. First, it's not my money to begin with. If I believe all I have is God's, which I do, then I don't own it......my job is merely to manage it while I'm here. If that's true, what makes me think I should pass it down to my kids instead of blessing and serving others? Second, I think my kids deserve better than to have their drive and ambitions chopped off at the knees by a big pot of money. They deserve the opportunity to carve their own path, pursue work that matters, and use their unique gifts and talents to create an impact on this world. A big pot of unearned money can quickly zap this from them in a heartbeat. Yes, it's possible that a large sum of money could help in their endeavors. It's also true that I could successfully rob a nearby convenience store, but it's probably not a good idea to try. Behavioral science, statistics, and my own experience working with countless families tell me there's a higher probability for downside than upside.

Want to leave a legacy for your kids? That's awesome, me too!!! I just define legacy differently than a big pile of cash. For me, legacy is about character, faith, generosity, humility, impact, and service to others. Money factors zero into this. If my kids have millions of dollars but not the traits listed above, my legacy is garbage. If my kids have limited financial means but possess these traits, I succeeded in the mission. You can't put a price tag on legacy.

You Don't Know Until You Know

Several years ago, I was listening to an Adam Carolla podcast when a caller asked an interesting question. This was shortly after Adam had released his second documentary film. To paraphrase, the caller asked, "How did you know how to make a documentary?" Adam's response was simple, but profound. "I didn't know how to make a documentary until I made a documentary. Then I knew how to make a documentary."

In other words, we don't know how to do something until we do it. There's rarely a playbook for us to reference. Instead, we must simply act. One foot in front of the other, step by step. We don't know what we don't know.....until we know it.

I bring up this topic today because of our big announcement last night. After several months of development, we're introducing our first canned beverage at Northern Vessel. It's a variation of our signature Oat Milk Cold Brew Latte. This has been one of TJ's visions for many years now, and it's surreal to see it materialize in front of our eyes.

Truth is, none of us know how to make a canned beverage. TJ knows how to make an amazing cold brew latte in the shop (which he's perfected over the last 4+ years), but creating a canned version is an entirely different animal. We don't know what we don't know.....until we know. After many meetings with food scientists, flavor chemists, and canning experts, we've finally finished the first iteration of our inaugural product. In the words of Adam Carolla, we didn't know how to make a canned beverage until we made a canned beverage. Now we know how to make a canned beverage.

This is one of my favorite things about TJ. He's as equally fearless as he is humble. He has no idea what he's doing, the humility to know he has no idea what he's doing, and the courage to figure it out. I wish I could can this energy (see what I did there?) and pass it around to all the people I know. It's ok to not know how to do something, but that shouldn't stop us from trying. I had no idea how to make a podcast.....until I had a podcast. I had no idea how to coach people.....until I started coaching people. I had no idea how to start a company.....until I started a company. One foot in front of the other, step by step. First we do it poorly, then we do it average, then we do it good, then we do it great. There are no shortcuts. We don’t know until we know.

Today's challenge: Find something you don't know how to do, then do it.

Comfort or Impact

For nearly two years, Cole has been prodding me to record a specific episode I desperately fought against. His idea was simple: He would join me on the mics, and we would each detail our family's monthly budget...bit by bit. Yes, one of the things I try to focus on when creating content is vulnerability and transparency. Honesty always wins. However, the episode Cole was proposing was about seven steps further than I was comfortable going. I've discussed all sorts of personal financial and non-financial topics on the podcast and blog. However, this idea was something completely different. It was beyond my level of comfort.

A few weeks ago, he finally beat me into submission and we recorded the episode. I dreaded the moments leading up to it, the actual recording was fine (I always love being on the mics), and I dreaded it every day until it was published....then I dreaded it some more. As Cole predicted, it quickly gained traction and will likely become one of our top 10 most downloaded episodes ever.....much to my chagrin.

Cole and I have received much feedback about the episode since it was published. Here's the interesting part, though. The feedback rarely has anything to do with money. Rather, it revolves around the values and principles we discussed in and around the budget. Topics such as parenting, marriage, faith, generosity, and inheritances. It's as I always say: money is NEVER about money. It's always about something bigger. I think this episode perfectly reflects that concept. We sat down to talk about money, but instead, we ended up talking about what really matters most.

It's fun to see the impact this episode is having on people. Spouses are listening to it together, then using it as the basis for their own conversations. It's giving couples new topics to discuss, such as personal spending, investing in the marriage, and what it means to "provide" for their children. It's providing outside context to help people recognize they aren't the only ones struggling with inflation, putting all the pieces together, and prioritization.

I fought this for two years, but here we are. If my comfort had continued to win out, this impact wouldn't happen. I can have comfort or impact, but I can't have both. It's a sobering lesson for someone who talks about this very principle on a weekly basis. "I told you so" probably won't come out of Cole's mouth, so I'll just name it here. Cole, you told me so. Right on, my man. Keep pushing me when I need to be pushed. We can have comfort or impact, but we can't have both.

If you want to listen to this episode, you can find it on APPLE, SPOTIFY, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Lessons From the Alpine Inn

Last week while in the Black Hills of South Dakota, my family decided to spend our last night dining at a local establishment. My sister-in-law received a tip from a tour guide about a restaurant all the locals frequent. It's called the Alpine Inn, and is nestled on a fun little main street drag in Hill City, population 922. From the moment we walked into this old German restaurant, I knew something different was happening. Then, in the coming hours (yes, hours), I would learn that "different" doesn't even begin to explain it.

First, we walked in at 5:20 and were immediately told there was a 2-hour wait. What!?!? We had a feeling it was worth the wait, so we decided to keep ourselves busy for the next 120 minutes. The wives took the kids to some nearby shops, while my brother-in-law and I held the fort down (tough job, I know). I did what felt natural: I walked up to the bar to order an Old Fashioned. Except they didn't have a liquor license.....beer and wine only. No problem, I think to myself. It's a German place, so I'll enjoy a nice German beer. Cash only. Cash only!?!? The bartender pointed to an ATM 10 feet away (beside the ornate phone booth). I grabbed some cash for drinks and dinner, then quickly hurried back to the bar to retrieve my beer.

While we were waiting, I asked the bartender for a food menu. He referred me to a little sign in the doorway between the bar and restaurant, indicating that was the menu. I saw the sign when we walked in, but it only had two items....I assumed those were the specials. "Yes, we only have two items on the menu. Both are very good." Ah, got it! Of course there are only two items. Why not!?!? This excited me greatly, as any restaurant in a town of 922 people with a 2-hour wait at 5:20 PM and only two items on the menu HAS to be good! Spoiler alert: it was excellent! We had a wonderful time, and my kids enjoyed their first-ever "fancy" meal. To top it off, the prices were ridiculously reasonable. All in all, it was a fun, memorable, disorienting experience. I'm grateful for the Alpine Inn and the wonderful work they're doing.

Here's the point of my restaurant rant. The Alpine Inn breaks all the rules and simply follows their path.....and they do it to great success. They know who they are, who they serve, and how they serve them. They aren't trying to be everyone else. They aren't trying to be all things to all people. They aren't trying to chase the latest test trend. They are simply trying to be the Alpine Inn.....and they're doing a wonderful job at being the Alpine Inn.

There are a lot of lessons to be learned from the Alpine Inn......

Sunday at 4PM

We got home last night from a 5-day camping trip in the Black Hills. It was a great trip, filled with new experiences, shared memories, and tasty food. It was a long drive home, but it went as smoothly as an 11-hour journey with two six-year-old boys can go. I spent much of the drive home thinking about my week ahead. No, not dreading it. Instead, I couldn't have been more excited. We have some huge things in store at Northern Vessel this week, I have lots of awesome coaching sessions on the books, I'm meeting with some interesting people, and I have a bunch of meaningful content to produce. It's a wild feeling when you're on the way home from vacation, excited about what's waiting for you when you return.

As I'm typing this, I recognize this isn't the case for most people. And by most, I mean most. Statistically, 4:00 PM on Sunday afternoon is the most depressing hour of the week. The weekend has largely passed, and we shift our attention to what's waiting for us on Monday morning. Have you ever felt the Monday dread creep in on Sunday afternoon/evening? I've had lots of those days! It's the worst feeling! So when I rave about how excited I am about Mondays, it doesn't come from a place of naivety or lack of perspective. I know all too well what people are feeling on Sundays......and it sucks! I think people deserve better than to fall into the statistic of the most depressing hour of the week.

So as you're reading this, ask yourself how you felt last Sunday afternoon/evening. Did you look forward to what was coming in the week ahead? Or did you feel some level of dread? The answer to that question may be telling. I'm not telling you what to do, but I want you to know what's possible. There IS a reality where Mondays are amazing. There IS a reality where you're just as excited to get back from vacation as you were to leave for it. There IS a reality where not only is Sunday at 4:00 PM not the most depressing hour of your week, but one of the best hours of your week.

That reality lives on the other side of some tough decisions.

The Psychology of Mountain Coasters

The other day, I took my kids to a place called Rush Mountain Adventure Park. It’s a great little place tucked just outside of Keystone, SD. It features a handful of attractions, but none greater than the mountain coaster. It’s less of a coaster and more of a toboggan ride…..but it’s wonderful!

I’m a sucker for behavioral science, especially when it has to do with money and work. Rush Mountain also apparently loves behavioral science as well, as they greatly use it to their advantage. When we arrived, the goal was to take the kids down the coaster once, plus maybe throw in a giant zip line ride. The mountain coaster was $20/ride, and I believe the zip line was $15/ride. In that moment, I decided to buy one ticket for each…..so $35 per person. Certainly not cheap, but it looked like a fun experience to share with my kids. This is when the behavioral science part kicked in. The woman at the counter pointed out that we could get a 24-hour, unlimited ride pass for $62 each. I didn’t plan on spending $62/person for this experience, but $62 for unlimited rides sounded a lot better than $35 for two rides. Rush Mountain won! They doubled the amount they got from me. I won, too! Finn and I ended up going down the mountain coaster five times together, plus the zip line once, and the interactive 4-D shooter game twice. What they did wasn’t a scam or taking advantage of me, but rather using behavioral science to create an opportunity where both parties benefited. They could double the revenue generated from my family, and in turn, we enhanced our experience there. I didn’t have to take that option, but I chose it…..and I’m glad I did! We had a wonderful time and created a ton of memories.

Whether we’re on the business side or the consumer side, we need to be aware of these behavioral science tricks. These are the same principles at play when we can up the size of our fries or drink, or when there are add-on options when we go to the salon or spa, or how different products offer an assortment of progressively fancier versions (hello, iPhone!). Again, none of these are immoral or wrong. If we’re keen on what companies are doing and how they are utilizing behavioral science in their pricing and offering, we can use it to our advantage instead of being swept up in the moment. That self-awareness can be the difference between making a decision we’ll later regret or making a decision that adds value to our journey. I’m sure I’ve been bitten by this before, but this particular decision added a ton of value to our family.

What’s one version of behavioral science being used at one of the businesses you frequent? I’d love to hear your examples!

The Generosity of Campers

As a lifelong camper, I have vivid camping memories spanning from my childhood to the present day. These memories fill all sorts of buckets (exploring, cooking, swimming, etc.), but there’s a special bucket called “generosity.” I don’t know what it is about camping, but it brings out the best in some people. There’s something about having new, temporary neighbors, and some level of shared experience, that connects people. It’s this idea of community, but actually lived out. When someone is trying to back in their camper, a total stranger swoops in to guide them. Another camper has an extra bundle of firewood, so they gift it to the adjacent campsite who just pulled in that afternoon. A few people are randomly walking by a group of people enjoying a meal, and they receive a thoughtful invite to stop and grab a bite to eat. A group of friends are playing volleyball or basketball, but they invite another group to join them. Total strangers, quickly turned friends, sharing what they have.

There’s a genuine hospitality and openness that comes out when people are camping. Perhaps it has something to do with getting away from life’s busyness, or maybe it’s because other people are there for the same reason, or perhaps there are a lot less stress points weighing people down. Regardless, there’s a beauty in this degree of lived community.

I think we should bottle this up and bring it back to our normal lives. And by we, I do mean we. I think I fall into a wide swath of people who show more hospitality to neighbors on a camping trip than back home. In some ways, I show a ton of hospitality, but in other ways, I don’t at all. Perhaps some introspection is in order on this one. If I’m being honest with myself, I think it’s a matter of falling into the trap of busy. We get so busy that we can’t see the obvious opportunities and need right in front of our noses. I know I’m guilty of this at times. Sometimes I’ll wake up out of my stress-induced stupor and see it, while other times, someone in my life will point it out to me. Regardless, I know I periodically miss the mark.

There’s no better time than now to create a true culture of community around us in our daily lives. When we get it right, it’s beautiful. When we miss the mark, it’s a huge missed opportunity. We won’t always nail itt, but man, we can certainly do better…..myself included.

The Struggle is What Makes the Adventure

Last night, our family time at the campsite was cut short when a nasty thunderstorm blew in. It was the whole package: thunder, lightning, rain, and wind. We quickly retreated to the tent where we rode out the storm and eventually fell asleep. While we were trying to settle the boys in, they were a bit panicked. I think there’s some lingering impact from an absolutely brutal storm we endured in the tent earlier this summer…..which included Pax getting flooded out in the middle of the night. In an attempt to calm them down, I encouraged them that these are the moments that make the adventure. It helped…..a little.

Think about your favorite movie. The struggle is what makes it. If Darth Vader wasn’t around, Luke Skywalker’s journey would have been a borefest. If the Hunger Games never occurred, Katniss would just be another girl. If Michael Jordan didn’t have the Detroit Pistons, his legend may not have been as iconic. The triumph over struggle is what makes it good.

I think about this a lot when it comes to work and money. It’s fun when we experience wins, achieve our goals, and continue to experience up-and-to-the-right progress. But the struggle? The struggle is what makes those moments so much sweeter. I remember back to January 2020, seven months after leaving my career to start my coaching business. That was the month when our monthly income exceeded our modest expenses. Until then, we were riding the struggle bus and supplementing our income from savings. It was a scary time, but the struggle made the win feel all that much more satiating. I can think of so many other struggles we’ve faced in the last 15 years. Struggles that oftentimes felt like they would break us. Like the struggle of fertility. Finding out I’ll never become a biological father, then the nearly three-year wait in the adoption process, then the failed adoption when we were ready to go meet our child. Gut-wrenching struggles. So when we met Finn and Pax four months later, it was the sweetest of the sweetest wins. It was the best day of our lives. All these years later, it was the struggle that defined us, not the win. When I look at my kids, I remember everything that went into becoming a parent and finally meeting them. I will never take that for granted.

So yeah, we’re huddled up in a tent with a storm whipping right through us. Not ideal, for sure. But the struggle is what makes the adventure.

Even the Best Laid Plans

I had something specific to write about today, but that all went out the window as I’m meandering through a string of failures. We’re on an annual family camping trip, which is starting off strong. I thought I had all the pieces in place to successfully publish this blog each day.

1. My laptop

2. Access to a power source to charge said laptop

3. Campground WiFi

4. Hotspot capabilities as a backup to the campground’s Wifi

Yet, here I am, well after midnight, unable to get this bad boy published. The campground’s Wifi isn’t working at all, and my cell phone has zero signal. It’s not how I thought my day would end, late at night, aimlessly driving around the campground trying to get either a cell phone signal or a working WiFI connection. I had everything planned out, including contingencies, yet I failed.

Money can be a lot like that as well. Even the best-laid plans can yield negative results. Sometimes the ball just doesn’t bounce in our favor. It doesn’t mean it was a bad idea, or we screwed up, or we’re not good enough. Sometimes it just means we got a lousy outcome. I’ve had several of those over the years, including a few in the last 18 months. We can either feel defeated by these losses, or we can strike them up for what they really are: unfortunate outcomes. If we keep doing the right thing for the right reasons, we’ll win far more of these battles than we lose. They key is getting back up on that horse and knowing you aren’t the failure. It’s not always easy, but it does get somewhat easier after enough repetitions. This is something I strongly encourage with my younger clients who don’t yet have the experience to prove what I’m saying is true. We just gotta keep moving forward, win or lose. And if we did the best we can and executed well, but still lost, oh well. We’ll get it next time!

Anyway, sorry for the late post today! Have a wonderful day!

Who Are You Going to Offend?

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, the 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays of the year. There are so many things to love about it. However, there's one fringe benefit of the holiday that I look forward to each year. The social media outrage that bubbles up in the days leading up to it, ranting and raving about people setting off their personal fireworks. This sort of outrage has existed in various forms over the years, but it now prominently lives in community Facebook groups. This year's outrage did not disappoint. Multiple times each day, someone took to Facebook to air their grievances. Their justification for their outrage ranged from practical, to questionable, to outlandish. It was nothing short of spectacular!

Reading these threads reminds me of a piece of advice I received many years ago: "You will always offend someone, so you might as well live your values and offend the right people." This advice felt applicable 20 years ago, but it's more relevant today than ever. Unfortunately, everything we do, even when well-intentioned, will offend someone. Whenever I receive online hate - which happens far more than I'd like to stomach - I ask myself if I'm offending the right people. It's so easy for us, in an effort to people please, to offend those we are most trying to serve. When I can objectively look at the criticism and know it's coming from the right people for the right reasons, it somewhat eases the discomfort.

We often hold ourselves back from doing what we know we need to do, in part, because we don't want to offend anyone. I've watched many people around me fall into this trap, and I'm ashamed to admit I have, too. I broke free from this fear a few years ago, but I still find myself holding back on certain topics/ideas out of fear of the backlash. Every time I get over myself and go for it, I inevitably offend someone.....but it's usually the right someone.

When I think about this idea of offending people, I always try to remember there is never ill intent. My objective isn't to offend someone. In fact, I'd love to find a way to do my work without offending people. Unfortunately, that's just not a feasible expectation. There's always someone who will be offended by me....and by you.

The sooner we realize we're always going to offend someone, the sooner we can move past it and make the impact we know we're called to make. So today I ask you, who are you going to offend?

Choose Freedom

Today, we Americans celebrate July 4th, our Independence Day. It's always been one of my favorite holidays, as it represents the best of what summer has to offer. As I've gotten older and seen more of the world, the concept of freedom has also grown on my conscience. We often take it for granted, and shame on us for doing so.

But as I think about freedom, I see all the various ways we humans trap ourselves and limit our own freedom. While we live in a free country, many of us have curated a life that's anything but free. We continue to elevate our lifestyle and financial commitments, locking ourselves into a certain income expectation. We make choices to incur mass amounts of debt, which bleeds our income each month. As our financial obligations rise, our margin to spend our values decreases. As our monthly needs grow, our ability to shift careers, pursue meaning, and follow our calling shrinks. One decision, after another, after another. As we increase our standard of living, we're slowly and oftentimes unknowingly reducing our freedom.

I can't even count the number of people I've spoken to who have fantastic incomes, jealousy-inducing lifestyles, and social media-worthy lives, who feel desperately trapped. They look like they have the world at their fingertips, yet they have less freedom than the unassuming middle-class family a few doors down from me. It's an embarrassing, scary, and frustrating place to be. Many of you can relate to this. Either because you used to be there, or because you're there right now.

Some people choose stuff, others choose freedom.

Some people choose status, others choose freedom.

Some people choose the instant gratification of debt, others choose freedom.

Some people choose more, others choose freedom.

Choose freedom. Always choose freedom. And the beautiful part is, every day is a new day to choose.

Five Margaritas Deep

My friend Kelsey sent me a meme the other day. Given our dozens of conversations about work and meaning, she knew I would get a kick out of it. Here's what it said: "I don't have a dream job because I don't dream about working. I dream about being 5 margaritas deep on a Caribbean island." 

It definitely gave me a good laugh! Someone probably made it to be tongue-in-cheek, but the best jokes are rooted in truth. First, let's get something straight. I love being five margaritas deep on a Caribbean island as much as the next person.

Work gets a bad rap in our culture. It's a means to an end, a necessary evil, something we do because we have to do it. From the time we are kids, work gets stigmatized. 

• We're made to work as punishment.

• Our earliest jobs are usually pretty crappy (two of mine were raking sand traps at 6AM in the summer and working in the cheese factory at 4AM on Sundays).

• If 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, there's a high likelihood we watch at least one of our parents have a negative relationship with their work.

• We usually launch into adulthood with a bunch of debt, meaning we feel immediate pressure to find work to pay for the loan payments.

Every step of the way, we're learning and feeling that work sucks. With that context in mind, I get it! It makes sense why we would collectively view and treat work like a necessary evil.

Here's a different perspective of work I'd encourage you to think about. Work isn't something we have to do, but rather something we get to do. Not everyone is physically and mentally healthy enough to be productive.....it's a gift to have that ability. Work isn't just trading our time for money. It's an opportunity to use our skills, creativity, passions, experience, and influence to serve people. Serving customers, colleagues, and bosses. When we work, we add value to other people's lives:

• My kids get to enjoy an afternoon at the pool because the lifeguards are using their skills to keep watch and order. Without them, there is no pool.

• I shared a meal with a friend last night. Without the waiter and cooks, none of that would have happened. 

• My bike chain recently broke, and I took it to the shop. Without the team at my local bike shop, I wouldn't have a working bike to enjoy.

Maybe none of these examples are your dream job, but let's not lose sight of the value of work. It's not a necessary evil. It's an opportunity to make the world a better place. It's a chance for us to improve the lives of others. Yeah, we get to make some money along the way as well. That's awesome. But let's not demean the value of work in our lives. After all, that's what makes those "five margaritas deep on a Caribbean island" days so satisfying. 

A Continuous Circle, and You’re Part of It!

My close friend, Gary Hoag, recently wrote an excellent piece for the Christian Leadership Alliance. Gary is a world-renowned speaker and teacher in the area of Christian generosity. I'm always excited to read Gary's work, including his blog that he's posted daily for nearly 14 years (yeah, 5,000+ consecutive days......wild!).

Gary has been a monumentally important figure in my life over the last eight years. Much of what you read and hear from me has Gary's fingerprints all over it. For this reason, I'm always stunned when Gary advocates for me or my work. In the article I referenced above, Gary recommended our Meaning Over Money podcast as one of his four next steps. It's wild that someone like Gary would lift up a person like me. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't I be singing his praises and telling everyone to check out his work? Of course I should! But he doesn't owe me that. There are plenty of people in Gary's life with more experience, expertise, and talent than me. Yet, he trusts the work we're doing over here. I never take that for granted!

That's the beauty of life. It always feels like a circle. Gary is always so gracious to pour into me and lift me up, but someone poured into him and lifted him up. And so, too, did someone for that person....and so on. It's one big circle, and we get to be part of it. We don't have to be, but we get to be. I often wonder how many lives have been impacted due to Gary's work and pouring into others. Has he done for a handful of other people what he's done for me? Dozens? Hundreds? And what have all those people done in turn to pour into others? Handfuls? Dozens? Hundreds? Gary is changing this world, one conversation, one relationship, and one generous act at a time.

Here's the point of today's post. The circle can stop with us. We can gratefully accept the gift, benefit from it, and simply sit on our hands. We're certainly better for it, but that's about it. Alternatively, we can embrace that same spirit Gary carries himself with and pass it on to others. There are many people in my life that I sincerely want to pour into. Some of this has been happening for years, others more recently, and some will happen for people I've yet to meet. And we all get to be part of it! How exciting is that!?!? Some days I think about this fact, and it overwhelms me. Such an opportunity.....and responsibility.

Don't let that opportunity slip away. Find people in your life to pour into and lift up. Be a difference-maker in their life, encourage them, and help them be better.....so they, in turn, can do the same for others. It's a continuous circle, and you're part of it!

Following a Budget Goes Both Ways

I received a text from my wife yesterday afternoon. "What do you want to do for dinner?" Knowing it was a Friday and the last day of the month, I immediately opened my budgeting app to see if we had any dining out money left. $76!!! I guess that's what happens when we're gone for half the month. Knowing we had a nice chunk of change remaining, we made a family date night out of it. We walked to a local pizza restaurant, then to a nearby ice cream shop. We had a blast!

There's a massive misunderstanding about budgeting. Budgeting it's about spending less.....it's about spending better. Yes, budgeting well keeps us from overspending. But it goes both ways! Budgeting, when done healthily, also prevents us from underspending. Spending better means being intentional, spending on our values, and removing negative emotions such as guilt, resentment, fear, and worry.

Many people would look at that extra $72 and proclaim it a win. Yay, we came in under budget!!!! But Sarah and I negotiated our budget at the beginning of the month, and we promised each other this was what we would spend money on. Us going out for a fun night was our way of honoring what we promised ourselves and each other. Just like we promised to pay our rent and life insurance, we promised to spend this money on dining out. It has to go both ways. We can't use a budget to only prevent us from having too much fun.....it also needs to encourage us to have fun. It's a tool to align our money with our values. And last night, our values pointed toward spending intentional time with the boys, creating memories, and enjoying some tasty food together.

The moment we treat budgeting like a one-way, fun-hating tool of cheapness and saving (er, hoarding), is the moment budgeting completely sucks. When that occurs, we start treating our life like a giant game of let's-try-to-live-like-broke-college-students-so-one-day-we'll-have-even-more. You know the problem with more, right? Every time we get more, more is still more.

There's a better way, and the better way is to have it both ways. Let the budget prevent us from coming off the rails AND let the budget force us to do the fun things we promised ourselves we would do. If more people viewed and handled money this way, budgeting may no longer be a four-letter word in most marriages.

Here’s the plan:

1. Make a budget on or around the first of the month.

2. Make sure your budget aligns with your values.

3. Do what you said you were going to do.

4. Track it.

5. Have fun!

6. Repeat.

If you follow these six simple steps, I promise you’ll find more joy, more peace, more intentionality, more unity, and more progress. Have a great day!

Don't Judge a Birria By Its Cover

I'm in a men's group that meets every Wednesday at noon. Each week, a different person is responsible for choosing the restaurant. We only have three rules:

1. The chooser can't announce the selected restaurant until within 60 minutes of the meeting time.

2. The restaurant has to be within the city limits.

3. No national chains. 

This week was my week! I chose my favorite Mexican restaurant because they recently began serving Birria tacos. If you have yet to try Birria tacos, immediately stop reading this blog and Google where you can find them in your town. Anyway, this restaurant is always a no-brainer for me. There's a running joke in our town that every time a new restaurant is being built, we assume it's a Mexican restaurant. I just fact-checked it and can confirm our 72,000-person town has 12 Mexican restaurants......and my favorite is ranked #12. Dead last! Are you kidding me?!?!

Birria for the win!!

Here's the thing. This restaurant isn't fancy. It looks suspect on the outside, and though the inside is clean, there's nothing notable about the atmosphere. When I mention it to other residents, they respond with, "Ew, I'd never go there," or "I've never actually been there before." So how does such a "bad" restaurant become one of my favorites in town? Perhaps it's because of all the time I spend in SE Asia, but I've learned that when it comes to restaurants, we should never judge a book by its cover. Some of the best food in the world is served in some of the most unassuming spaces. Now I'm not calling this Mexican restaurant some of the best food in the world, but I am asserting that it's grossly overlooked for all the wrong reasons. When dining at a restaurant, I want fantastic food, served with a positive attitude, at a reasonable price. And "reasonable" is contextual to the situation. I've had $8 meals that were overpriced and $100 meals that were underpriced. But the food needs to stand on its own. 

This story has parallels with so many areas of life. We often overlook opportunities for the silliest of reasons:

• Everyone else is overlooking it, so it must not be good.

• It's not shiny and sexy.

• If we try it and fail, people may laugh at us.

• We don't clearly define what's important to us.

• It's easier to do what everyone else is doing

• We trust people's opinions, even when we shouldn't. 

Whether it's a suspect-looking restaurant or an interesting opportunity that presents itself to you, consider this idea. Some of the best gifts are wrapped in the dullest packaging. And remember, nobody really cares about the wrapping paper once you get inside. 

The World Keeps Getting Smaller

Last week, I had the pleasure of guesting on an Australian podcast, It's Never About Money. I had the most wonderful time with their host, Joe Stephan. If this show sounds like something up my alley, it is! In fact, my Media Director introduced the idea of me appearing on their show by saying, "Travis, we just found the Australian Meaning Over Money!" She knew that would quickly get my attention!

After we first connected, they asked if I would personally do the initial discovery call so they could get a feel for who I am and how I present myself. During that conversation, Joe pointed out that they don't often have many Americans on their show....but have had a few. As he lists off a handful of names, he blurts out a name that stopped me dead in my tracks: "Gary Hoag from Colorado." Gary Hoag!?!? My friend, mentor, and brother, Gary Hoag?!?! I about fell out of my chair, but then it got even more interesting. "Yeah, I know Gary! He's one of my closest friends and mentors!" I then held up a copy of the book Gary and I wrote together last year, which was sitting just to my left on my desk. We both got a kick out of that moment.

The world feels small, and it's getting smaller all the time. The fact two total strangers could meet over Zoom, realize they have a common friend, record a podcast together, and build a relationship in the process, all while never being closer than 9,000 miles apart, is mind-boggling!!! I admire Joe and his work, and it's fun to see someone on the other side of the world that shares a common mission. I can’t wait to progress my relationship with Joe and discover new ways we can work together to add value to this world.

I think about this idea a lot. Never before has practically every person on the planet been accessible by practically every person on the planet. Right now, I could send Lebron James a DM, and he may see it. Instantly! Or maybe I have a business idea to share with Elon Musk. Five minutes from now, he could be digesting my idea. Or perhaps I'm interested in getting a job at XYZ company. I could immediately send a message to the CEO with an offer to add value to them. What a world we live in!

If there's something on your mind, put it into action. If there's a connection you'd like to make, send the DM. If there's an idea stirring, send it into the world. You never know who or what will happen. It's quite possible nothing will happen, but I can guarantee nothing will happen if you don't. So why not take advantage of this shrinking world? After all, it will be fun!

If you're interested in listening to my appearance on It's Never About Money, you can find it on APPLE, SPOTIFY, or wherever you listen to podcasts.