Best Intentions
I recently received a call from a concerned parent. For context, I know the parent, but I don't know their kids. Instead of pursuing an advanced degree, one of their children has chosen a less-respected career path. Translation: their kid will make far less than they otherwise could have. Without being hyperbolic, the parents are devastated. Why did they reach out to me? Because they thought I could "talk some sense" into their kid.
Needless to say, they didn't like my response. After hearing more about the situation, here's what I gathered. Their kid has some deep passions and feels a distinct calling to pursue this other career. At the same time, the kid has zero bend toward the professional career(s) the parents desperately want for him. In other words, they believe their son is better served by placing finances at the top of his career priority list.
Why in the world did they think I'd back them on this? "Because you're a financial guy, so we thought you'd show him how this is a bad financial decision."
Parents have the best intentions for their kids; truly. I never doubt that. However, I think we're making a huge mistake when we push our kids toward a higher income (and possibly higher standard of living) at the expense of a life they actually want to live. I know so many people who carry resentment toward their parents for nudging them down a road that feels meaningless to them. Sure, they might have abundant financial resources, but at what cost? This weird dynamic is playing out all over our country today.
I'm not decrying anyone going out and making a good living. Good for them! Doing so can remove a lot of life's stressors. However, when it comes at the expense of an otherwise meaningful and fulfilling life, it becomes more of a slow-developing tragedy than a blessing.
As parents, we should want our kids to have financial margin in their adult lives. On the flip side, our kids living meaningful, fulfilling, and impactful lives ought to be even higher on our wish list. I don't care if my kids are rich or poor, but I desperately care if they find meaning and fulfillment in the journey. I pray they find that, and I pray the same for everyone else's kids, too.
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