Manhood
I stumbled upon something mind-boggling last night. According to a recent survey, 86% of men say that being a financial provider defines manhood. Just as scary, 77% of women agree. Nearly 9 out of 10 men, and nearly 8 out of 10 women, define manhood by a man's ability to financially provide.
While I 100% agree that one of a man's key roles should be to financially provide, it's most certainly not THE defining factor. Rather, it's A factor. The fact that we use dollar signs to place identity on men isn't news to me, but it's always disheartening.
This cultural pressure and false identity have swept men into a twisted reality where they must pursue more income at all costs. And by all costs, I mean at the expense of their role as husband, father, friend, and community member. We've told men that the only thing that matters is how much money they can bring into the household and the standard of living it can create.
Consequences of such toxic perspectives include rapidly declining mental health, broken marriages, absent parenting, miserable work, poor decisions, and severe health conditions. I'm not sure if you see this, but at scale, men are suffering in silence. They are hurting, but staying quiet. There's a quiet brokennes erupting all around us. I've been watching this unfold for years, and it's escalating.
So, what's the alternative? Completely disregard money and excuse men from their responsibility to financially provide? No way! Yes, let's financially provide for ourselves and our families. At the same time, we need to step up and be the best husband, father, friend, and community member we can be. Those things are tremendously valuable, and shouldn't be overlooked or disregarded.
I think about my friend I wrote about yesterday, who provides for his family in so many ways. His value is not measured in dollars. Yes, he provides financially, but he does so much more (as does his amazing wife). That's what makes them a special couple. It's not about a singular trait or role. They don't pigeonhole themselves into these made-up values or superficial measuring sticks.
Whether man or woman, your value doesn't come from dollar signs. It doesn't come from the house you live in, the car you drive, the school you send your kids to, the destinations of your vacations, the clothes you wear, or the professional titles you carry. You're valuable because you're a child of God....period. You're valuable....period. The rest is just noise.
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