Head and Heart, Not Dollars and Cents
Whenever the topic of money comes up, we humans like to pretend it's all about black and white, dollars and cents, tactics and strategies. Every decision gets boiled down to what's "the right decision." And by “right decision,” we really mean the one that leaves us with more. More cash. More savings. More stuff. More wealth.
I like to flip this conversation on its head, and as I am known for saying, “money is NEVER about money.” At the heart of it, every time we talk about money, we're talking about something much more important. Money is just one tool we use to achieve that something more important.
Therefore, when I'm working with people on their money, it's typically less about the numbers on the paper than the motives of the heart and head. What's going on in someone's chest and skull is much deeper than the simple math.
Here's a recent example. In yesterday's post, I mentioned a young man trying to achieve some big goals. In his journey, he's having trouble making meaningful financial progress while also living his life. One of his strategies is to let his bank account balance build up over time, which will theoretically move him closer to his objective.
This strategy presents several problems:
When money is just allowed to build as a collective pot, it's for both everything and nothing. There's no truly defined purpose behind it, which leads to the next problem.
When there's no truly defined purpose, this money can be robbed for a different priority, whether important or not. And when we allow our emotions and impulses to drive, we often make the wrong call.
On the flip side, this collective pot approach can create a massive wave of guilt whenever we want to spend money on things that actually add value to our lives. We think, "I don't need to spend money on xyz," or "I should keep the money in savings," or "I don't want to be irresponsible." Before we know it, we can turn a meaningful $20 dinner with a friend into evidence that we're a reckless, spineless fool.
The net impact of this collective pool approach is that we make less net progress on our true objective while also riding the guilt train through the entire journey. Here's my behavioral science hack for this:
Set up a designated savings account and specifically name it: XYZ Fund.
Each month, decide how much money you'll funnel into this account. Be aggressive with it. After all, this is important!
Fund it! Actually move that money over. Build toward your named goal.
Let go of the guilt and enjoy the rest of your resources. You've already funded your dream with an intentional amount you've prioritized, so enjoy some of what's left without carrying the weight, guilt, or burden.
See, it's about money......but it's not really about money. Guilt, fear, dreams, failure, progress, meaning. These are very human emotions that matter. Please don't pretend they should be voided for the sake of the almighty dollar.
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