The Lie of Lies
I recently sat down with a newer retiree. It's a man in his early 60s. His kids are young adults, pursuing their own dreams, aspirations, and careers. His wife was a stay-at-home mom for the majority of their child-rearing years. He had an objectively successful corporate job, which he generally enjoyed. After years of discipline, diligence, and patience, he had enough financial resources to ride off into the sunset and fulfill the American dream of living a life of leisure (i.e., stop working).
Uh oh, he fell for the lie! Even before we sat down, I knew how this conversation was going to play out. Sure enough, and right on cue, he shared the same story I hear over and over and over. He followed the conventional wisdom of our society by pursuing a life of leisure. After all, work is bad. Work is a necessary evil. Work is something we do because we have to, and naturally, as soon as we don't have to do it, we should quit doing it. He followed this mode of operation to a T. He knocked it out of the park financially, so he quit.
That's the lie! He fell for it! I don't say that to disparage him, though, because most of us fall for the same lie. He's two years into his retirement, bored and frustrated. He used to have influence, make an impact, be productive, and serve others well. He willingly (and excitedly) exchanged that for sleeping in, tending his garden, cooking more meals, and tinkering in his garage. As he thinks about this trade-off, he feels scammed. He gave up so much meaning, and for what? Leisure. Rest. "Nothingness," as he put it.
His problem wasn't leaving his prior job. His problem was walking away from something without walking toward something else. He wishes he could go back. He desperately wishes he could go back. But he can't. Here was my challenge for him: Pursue work that matters. Whatever that means in this season of life, pursue it with the same vigor, curiosity, and excitement he pursued his work during his 20s. His life isn't over. Heck, in many ways, it's just beginning. He might have 20-25 solid, productive years left in him. After these last two years, he recognizes he still has so much more to give.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and predict that he will make more impact in the next 5-10 years (whatever he ends up pursuing) than he made in the entirety of his prior 40-year career. That's how it works. That's what happens when we choose not to throw away all of our wisdom, experience, relationships, influence, skills, and knowledge.
Or he could just keep tinkering in his garage and tending to his garden. That's what society says he should do. Society says he deserves that. Society says he's earned that. Maybe so.....or maybe, just maybe, he deserves to live with purpose and meaning. Either way, it's time for the next chapter to be written.
____
Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.