Joy and Pain, Pain and Joy
Two conversations converged on me this week. The first was an increase in the number of social media videos by financial "experts" belittling the act of giving. Or, in their words, "Why give money away now if you could use it to build wealth?" Their overarching point is that the practice of giving is counter-productive to building wealth (it is), and if people would stop being stupid by giving away money now, they would be able to give much more away later (also true).
The second event that happened this week was a critique of my post titled Where's a DeLorean When We Need One?" Specifically, this person's criticism stemmed from the following excerpt:
“Lastly, and most importantly, net worth measurements have a negative correlation with the greatest use of money: generosity. A decade ago, Sarah and I made the decision to give away every single penny we have. Nothing is ours. Everything is to be shared. The natural outcome for this way of life is that our net worth will eventually dwindle to zero. That's a weird way to perceive life, but I enjoy the dwindling more than I do the building."Where's a DeLorean When We Need One?”
My friend's well-meaning critique revolved around the idea that, as a finance guy having proven to know how to invest very, very well (which I teach to thousands of people), I would be better served by simply investing this money for the long run, growing it exponentially, then giving it away decades later. This person didn't question my desire to give away everything, but rather, if I'm going to give it away, why not do it in a way that maximizes the dollars given?
I have a simple response to this. My objective isn't to maximize the amount of money I give away. Instead, my objective is to always give joyfully and sacrificially. My scorecard isn't money; my scorecard is my heart. The moment I decide I'm going to keep score by tracking how much money I can give away, even my giving becomes about ego, pride, and self-service.
The alternative, I'd argue, is to simply live with a posture of generosity. Yes, it will possibly result in a lower (or decreasing) net worth, but simultaneously, it will instill contentment, joy, meaning, impact, and sacrifice into our blood.
There are a lot of reasons to drag someone, but in my opinion, dragging people for being "too generous" is the best type of hate. Several of my clients get criticized for giving "too much," and I constantly tell them that form of cultural pushback should be internalized with joy. It's funny, though, as people don't necessarily know how much other people give. It's the posture of generosity that makes others uncomfortable. That posture can stick out like a sore thumb, and if someone is living a life counter to that belief system, it can get awkward.
As givers, we ought to check our hearts. The goal shouldn't be to maximize the amount given away. The goal shouldn't be to build more today so we can give more later. The goal shouldn't be to use a financial scorecard to judge ourselves. The goal should always be to give joyfully and sacrificially. Does it give you joy? Does it hurt? If the answer to both is yes, you're on the right track.
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