Managing the Puzzle Pieces
A few days ago, Sarah and the boys came home from a shopping trip. They went to the store to pick up a fun item that, in my opinion, would cost around $25. However, when they came home, they immediately said it had cost $110 instead. Whoa. That's a big delta between expectation and reality.
Sarah must have picked up on my lack of a good poker face. Translation: I had the look of disgust on my face. That wasn't my intention, but the cat was out of the bag. She immediately began throwing out next steps:
Take it back.
Subsidize this unnecessary purchase with her own personal spending money.
Make the kids save up and pay for a portion of it.
I quickly refused all of these options. Instead, I said we should keep this item and manage the monthly Kids spending category accordingly. This purchase, in and of itself, isn't a bad thing. Rather, what happens next will dictate that. That's the beauty of budgeting. Sarah can spend whatever she wants on whatever category she wants......as long as we don't overspend the categories. Therefore, even though she spent a TON on this item, it can still fit within the broader context of our budget. There's a cost. There's a consequence. Perhaps it means not buying the kids a pair of shoes. Perhaps itmeans we do a few less extra treats. Perhaps we go to one less kid's event. It's not about refraining from spending on "wants," but managing the puzzle pieces well.
Every category should be managed this way. Set a dollar amount, then live. Don't guilt yourself. Don't starve yourself of a purchase. Don't live in constant regret. Don't second-guess your partner. Set the budget, then manage the puzzle pieces accordingly. One of the best gifts I can give my wife is to entrust her to manage the pieces however she feels best. I don't question her purchases. I don't criticize her purchases. If she's managing the pieces well and we're staying on track, she's winning; we're winning.
Spouses, this might be what the doctor ordered to reduce financial tension in your marriage. We don't have to look over each other's shoulders. We don't have to question. We don't have to criticize. We don't have to live in fear every time an Amazon box shows up at the door.
Negotiate the budget each month. Set category-by-category targets.
Live your life.
Manage the pieces to fit life within the parameters you set.
Trust each other.
Track your spending along the way.
Know where you landed.
Repeat.
There's a freedom in not having to care about every expenditure our partner makes, trusting that by the end of the month, the targets set in the original budget have been honored.
____
Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.