Respecting Lanes
About 15 years ago, Sarah and I were watching Netflix on the couch when I received an urgent text. It was about 1 AM, and the text was from one of my youth group kids, a 16-year-old girl. After making a few questionable decisions, she found herself in an uncomfortable position at a house party. She was somewhere between not wanting to make poor choices, scared of getting hurt, and nervous that she would end up in the car with an impaired driver. Needless to say, she was freaking out. One of my policies as a youth group leader was that if the kids ever found themselves in a tough spot, I would pick them up, no questions asked. On this particular night, she was nervous about calling her parents, so she texted me. Sarah and I jumped into the car, picked her up, and took her home.
Fast forward 15 years, I recently reached out to this young lady for advice. Yes, I was her youth group leader. Yes, I'm nearly twice her age. Yes, I walked alongside her during some of her most difficult teenage moments. But today, I need her wisdom, insights, and expertise. She works in a field that falls outside my purview, and today, I need her help.
I spent my entire life being disregarded and dismissed by the generation ahead of me. I was constantly treated like my wisdom, insights, and expertise didn't count. After all, these people were decades older than me. I was just a kid to them. What could some young dude have to offer them?!?! They were worse off for having this short-sighted perspective. I always promised myself that one day, when the roles reversed, I wouldn't do the same.
Well, as Father Time would have it, I'm no longer the youngest guy in most rooms. I now regularly find myself being on the older end of the age range in conversations. How am I doing with the promise I made myself? I suppose I need to let others answer that question for me, but considering I'm actively seeking advice from a woman whom I walked alongside during her teenage years, I'd like to think I'm succeeding.
We all have lanes. I have lanes, and you have lanes. Some of my strongest lanes revolve around the intersection of meaning, work, and money. I can help move the needle in this area of people's lives. Another lane is helping businesses gain greater clarity and control over the inner workings of their financial operations. Those are lanes I specialize in. Simultaneously, I need to recognize all the things in life that aren't my lane.
Enter my young friend. Despite being half my age, she has a wealth of knowledge in a lane where I desperately need help. I'm not going to her for career, financial, or business advice. I'm not going to her for parenting advice. I'm not going to her for marriage advice. I deeply respect her lane, and as such, I need to have the humility to allow her to speak into that area of my life.
This is a dynamic that most of us confront on a daily basis. In and out of the workplace, we constantly interact with other generations. If we simply get over ourselves and respect people's lanes, we can open ourselves up to so many wonderful things. It's not always easy, but it's always the right (and best!) thing to do.
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