Is This the Year?

While every day is a great day to make changes, there's something special about New Year's. Closing the book on one chapter, beginning another. A reset of the calendar. New hope. Endless possibilities. It's a time to reflect on what was, and dream about what could be.

Is this the year?

Is this the year you create financial unity with your spouse?

Is this the year you get out of debt?

Is this the year you start that business?

Is this the year you get intentional with budgeting?

Is this the year you get in shape?

Is this the year you lean hard into generosity?

Is this the year you apply for the job that better suits your gifts, passions, and values?

Is this the year you get married or build your family?

Is this the year you remove toxic forces and people from your life?

Is this the year you launch a new product or service?

Is this the year you change your diet?

Is this the year you share your art with the world?

Is this the year? Hit me back and let me know what you'll accomplish in 2025. I hope it's the year. I hope you crush it. I hope it's the best one yet. Happy New Year, everyone!

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Build It, Break It, Fix It, Repeat

I'll start with a question. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you succeeded, then succeeded some more, then continued to succeed, and eventually failed by the weight of your own success? This is a fairly common occurrence in my coaching world. Positive momentum is great, but it doesn't come without a cost. Eventually, inevitably, and unfortunately, success often creates new challenges. I see this a lot in clients who pay off a ton of debt, but then struggle as soon as the debt is paid off. I also see this with the NFL players I've worked with, where it's all good until it becomes too good...then the wheels can fall off.

We recently experienced a version of this at Northern Vessel. We've had a wild year, which was capped by an even wilder December. All of our efforts, marketing, hospitality, and momentum led us up to the Christmas season. Then, last Saturday, we broke. Over a six-hour period, we sold 90 drinks per hour, or 1.5 per minute for the entire six hours. To put it into context, our entire shop is 1,500 square feet and comfortably seats 20 (with no drive-thru). Yet, we sold about 550 drinks in a shortened day. It was great, it was bonkers, and we are grateful. At the same time, though, our team was fried, we ran out of product, and we couldn't offer five-star hospitality that lived up to our expectations. We broke the machine.

The drink line!

There's a saying I like to use: "Build it, break it, fix it, repeat." We built it, then we broke it, and now we must fix it. TJ and I have spent a lot of time the last few days dissecting all the ways in which we broke. Which pieces were our fault? Which pieces were circumstantial? Which pieces can be fixed? Which pieces can be improved upon? How do we do better next time? Everything is on the table.

After all, that is the goal. We desire for there to be a next time. We must earn the right for there to be a next time. We need to fix it, then repeat. If the relentless pursuit of excellence is more than just a catchy slogan, we need to own that. Build it, break it, fix it, repeat.

The same goes for many areas of our lives, including finances! Each time we level up, our success will inevitably create new challenges. We can't rest on our laurels, though. It's imperative that we grow with it. Each time we get better in a specific area of our life, that success will create new challenges (and new opportunities!) that we must confront. The alternative is to be happy with the growth and allow the breakage to stop future growth.....which is a common path for many.

Instead, this is my challenge for you today: Build it, break it, fix it, repeat. Embrace the struggle on the journey. It's not a straight line. It can be messy. Enjoy the journey!

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Today Is a Great Day to Change Your Life

In a few hours, I'll be meeting with a young couple. I've been looking forward to this meeting for a long time. After digging through their information and numbers, I'm even more excited. Today, they get to decide if they want to change their lives. If they do, it will be transformational. If not, it will continue to look like it does today. This isn't a family in need, or experiencing profound pain, or in a weird situation. They are doing well by most people's standards, but want to take this to a different level. A healthier perspective, more unity, better traction, and a confidence they are doing the right things.

The craziest part about changing our lives is that we probably already have the tools we need. It's already right in front of us. We just need to better harness what we're blessed with to get there. This couple, without making a single penny more after today, has the opportunity to change their lives forever. That's an exciting and terrifying thing to consider. It's exciting because real change is at our fingertips, but it's terrifying because it rests on our shoulders to follow through.

We all have that same opportunity today. We can stay where we're at and keep doing the things we always do......or we can draw a line in the sand and do something about it. Today is a great day to change your life. I have one particular thing in my life that I need to follow through. I can transform my life, or I can continue down the path I'm on. I have the tools, but do I have the will? Exciting and terrifying. More on that to come.

How about you? Today is a great day to change your life.

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It’s the Inputs, Man!

In late 2019, after stepping away from one career and into another, Sarah and I made another drastic life decision. We elected to split our time between Iowa and Thailand. We would bounce back and forth in three-month increments. One of the primary barriers to this plan was our house. What would we do about lawn care and snow removal? What if we had water issues in the basement? Would it be secure if left unattended for months at a time? And since we had just taken a 90% pay cut, a little more liquidity sure would come in handy. Therefore, the plan was clear. Sell the house, set the cash aside, and rent a small townhome that would suffice for the months we were back in Iowa.

We sold our house in December 2019 and excitedly awaited our inaugural family trip to Asia. Everything was coming together! Then, just a few months later, COVID struck, the world shut down, and all our plans went out the window. Instead of experiencing Thailand with our three-year-old boys, we were cooped up in a tiny townhome with those same three-year-old boys. It all blew up in our face!

If I used the outputs to determine how we did, it would clearly indicate we failed. We could have been in a cool house that we owned but, ended up in a tiny rental townhome. We lost! However, that's not how I look at life. The outputs (or outcomes) we experience in life are subject to all sorts of circumstances and externalities. If we always judge ourselves by the outputs, we might lose sight of the truth.

On the flip side, I'm a big believer in focusing on the inputs. If we do the right things for the right reasons, and stay consistent with it, the outputs will eventually reveal that. When we dwell on the inputs, unwanted outputs don't necessarily have to derail us. In the case of the house, we absolutely made the right decision. We did the right thing despite the outcome.

Yesterday was the single greatest day in the history of Northern Vessel. Everything came together, and we experienced the most wonderful outputs. It was stunning to watch, and we couldn't have been more excited. However, it really wasn't about the output. Instead of dwelling on the numbers, we reflected on all the inputs that culminated in yesterday's output:

• Consistently solid drinks that people can rely on.

• An obsessive focus on hospitality, with a "how can we make this better?" mindset.

• An iterative process to build increasingly efficient operations that allow for large daily and weekly volumes when the moments arise.

• Continuous assessment of our product offerings to provide our customers with the products they desire.

• Intentionality on our social media presence to build awareness and engagement.

So, when yesterday happened, we were beyond grateful for the output. However, the output in and of itself meant nothing. Rather, it's a tangible signal that our obsessive focus on the inputs is succeeding.

Focus on inputs. Dwell on inputs. Obsess about inputs. The outputs will be the outputs (good and bad), but eventually, the truth will prevail. Obsess about your inputs today…..in your money, in your career, in your ministry, in your relationships, and everywhere else. Always the inputs.

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Days That End in “Y”

I ran into an old friend yesterday. It was a coincidental and short encounter, but fun. I asked him what he's been up to, and vice versa. He mentioned he's heard a few co-workers talk about my blog. Upon asking how often I write, he was flabbergasted to hear that I write and publish every single day. I don't usually think about how weird this is until other people remind me.

On the flip side, this dude is jacked! He looks like a bodybuilder because, well, he is. I asked him how often he lifts, and he responded, "only on days that end in "y." Well played with the dad joke, sir. I was as equally impressed by his lifting rhythm as he was with my writing.

That's the funny thing about people. My normal is crazy to him, and his normal is crazy to me. I dig it! I wish I could develop that type of lifting habit. For as diligent as I am about writing, I lack in many other areas.

Another oddly consistent habit I possess is my intermittent fasting. I fast from dinner until noon the next day.....every single day. I fast for 17-18 hours, then eat over a 6-7 hour window. I've done this for the last 18 months or so, and it's changed my life. I never get hungry, and it's become completely normal to me.

Another habit that's completely normalized to Sarah and I is budgeting. We've budgeted (and tracked/followed it) for the last 182 months.....more than 15 years. It's just part of life for us, and it's changed our life and marriage.

While I'm grateful for these three consistent habits in my life, I definitely need to find more. What about you? What are some consistent habits that others may find weird but have changed your life for the better? Curious minds want to know! I'll produce a follow-up piece to (anonymously) share your collective feedback with the broader group.

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Don’t Waste a Good Mistake

One year ago, I penned an article about how my sister-in-law (tongue in cheek) robbed us of a cherished Thanksgiving tradition: Watching Planes, Trains, & Automobiles. I'd argue this movie is at the top of the pantheon of all-time Thanksgiving movie classics, alongside......well, alongside nothing. If there were a Mount Rushmore of Thanksgiving movies, it would have just two heads (John Candy and Steve Martin).

Last night was different, though. We jumped back into our tradition and enjoyed the movie together after the kids went to bed. It was a blast. A hilarious, stressful blast. And my sister-in-law learned from her mistake!

As much as I like to bust her chops (jokingly!), it brings up a topic I think about often. Instead of lamenting our mistakes, hating our mistakes, and regretting our mistakes, we should embrace them. Mistakes are for learning.

Each mistake is an opportunity to learn something about ourselves, the world, and other people. Every screw-up is a chance to find out what doesn't work, inching us ever closer to what does. It's the iterative process of life.

Every success I've had in life can be directly tied to the mistakes that preceded it. Behind every win is a series of losses. Messing up is the admission price to accomplishment.

I was recently meeting with a new client. They were nervous to start budgeting, worried they would fail. Here's what I told them: "The first 2-3 months are going to be a mess. You're going to whiff, make mistakes, and blow it. That's the goal. That's how you learn what works and what doesn't. Once we get through those first handful of months, it will be awesome."

Try budgeting. Make mistakes. Learn. Try again.

Apply for cool jobs. Make mistakes. Learn. Try again.

Practice generosity. Make mistakes. Learn. Try again.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Embrace them. Use them. Examine them. Learn from them. Let them help you get better.

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Playing With Four

The boys won both of their games yesterday. It was a weird day, as they had back-to-back games with only five players. Yes, every player played every minute of both games. They were gassed by the end, but I could tell they were pleased. Well, all but one kid.....

During the second game, one of my sons got frustrated and talked back to me. He refused to run the play I wanted to run, and started yelling at me. The ref was standing next to me, so I leaned over and said, "Ref, we're gonna play with four." I instructed my son to come join me on the bench, where he could watch his four teammates take on the five opponents. He sat out for two minutes until there was a timeout on the floor. He promised me he would straighten up.

He did.....for a bit. We were up by three points with 17 seconds left in the game. He got frustrated at a five-second violation on an inbound pass, and freaked out on me again. Again, "Come sit next to me. You're done for the day." The game was on the line, and I unfortunately needed to finish with four.

On the bench, he was beside himself. He complained that we needed five players and we might lose now. I told him I'd rather lose with four than play someone who disrespects his teammates, his coach, and the game.

Sure, I wanted to win that game. But more important than that is the long game. The long game is what really matters in life—doing the right thing for the right reasons....even when it hurts.

Rarely does playing the long game feel good. It doesn't feel good to be disciplined, practice delayed gratification, or be diligent. It's always more fun to be impulsive, without care, thinking only about the moment at hand.

It's immediately satiating to be selfish and materialistic. But what about the long game?

It feels great to spend money now instead of saving. But what about the long game?

It's far more fun to indulge your wants than meeting someone else's needs. But what about the long game?

It sucked to hold my son out of his basketball game and force him to watch his teammates play short-handed, but I need to think about the long game. He needs to learn. He needs to understand that actions have consequences. He needs to grow as a player and as a future man. This is delayed gratification at its finest.

Sometimes you need to play with four. Maybe that needs to be your motto in this season of life. Play the long game.

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When Our Brains Deceive Us

Our brains are an amazing thing. They allow us to think, remember, problem-solve, create, and dream. They are truly one of the most remarkable feats in this world. Yet, at the same time, our brains are quite fallible. Even when we feel strongly convicted about something, our brains sometimes deceive us. Scientists have done many notable studies on this phenomenon, which always blows my mind.

It's also a phenomenon I see in my coaching work on a near-daily basis. As we're out there living our busy lives, we may have one understanding of our reality, but the truth is something completely different. I'll share a few examples:

• A couple wanted to finish their basement. They were confident it would cost around $20,000.....dead-set on that being the number. By the time they finished, it was closer to $65,000. Why? Because they were anchoring their perception of cost on an older, uninflated number. Also, they didn't mentally account for higher level of finishes or the few extra side projects they included. Needless to say, they were flabbergasted.....and stressed.

• Another couple was struggling on their dining out budget. They continually overspent their desired amount by a wide margin. One of the spouses exclaimed, "We don't even go out to eat that much! It doesn't make any sense!!" Since they track everything, we pulled up the facts. Over the prior three months, they averaged 42 dining out trips per month. On the one hand, they "don't eat out that much," but on the other hand, they actually eat out nearly 1.5 times per day!

• Another couple was brutally naive to the cost of their pets. In our first meeting, I asked them how much their pets cost. $25 per month, tops. When I questioned them about this, they confirmed all they buy is a big bag of food every few months. Their pets cost them "almost nothing." After tracking for a year, they discovered they actually spend $450/month on their pets. Minds blown!

• The last couple were preparing for a weekend road trip. I encouraged them to budget adequately for it. They thumbed their noses at my number, insisting it would cost "Almost nothing. A hotel room, a tank of gas, and a few cheap meals." They insisted on only allotting $200.....the actual cost was $700.

It's not because any of these couples are dumb or uneducated.....far from it! Rather, it's a real phenomenon where our brain deceives us. We compartmentalize, gloss over things, and get distracted by all the noise. It happens to all of us.

I don't have a solution, but I do have a recommendation. Be aware this is probably happening to you. Acknowledge your brain isn't perfect. Be intentional; budget, execute, and track. When we arm ourselves with the real facts, it can be an eye-opening experience, helping us get better at this money stuff. Be mindful!

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731 Ideas

In the reflective and surprised words of Ron Burgundy, "Boy, that escalated quickly." Two years; November 14th, 2022. Today is the two-year anniversary of publishing this blog each day. Two years. 731 days. 731 articles. 731 ideas.

About ten days into this insane endeavor, I wondered if I'd run out of ideas soon. Would I run out in a week? A month? I surely won't make it a year. 731 ideas in 731 days.

Even though I'm living it, it's hard to wrap my head around this notion of brainstorming, writing, editing, and publishing one article per day for 731 consecutive days.

There's precedent for this sort of behavior, though:

• I've brushed my teeth every day for 40+ years.

• I've eaten every day - multiple times - for more than 43 years.

• I've dressed myself every day for 40+ years..

• The list goes on.

So, I suppose there is a precedent for writing 731 articles in 731 days. Each of us is uniquely wired to create, maintain, and strengthen habits. What do all those things above have in common? They are worth it. It's worth brushing my teeth every day so the dentist doesn't have to drill holes through my head, and people around me aren't repulsed by my breath. It's worth taking the time to eat - multiple times per day - because I appreciate staying alive. It's worth dressing myself each day because I don't think anyone needs me walking around public naked. There’s precedent for each of us to do things that are worth it, even tremendously difficult things.

Similarly, it's worth writing this blog because it adds value to thousands of people's lives (hopefully yours, too!). It's worth it because writing every day helps me process what's going on around me and to thoroughly think through these ideas. It's worth it because writing each day builds discipline and grit that can be transported into other areas of my life. It's worth it because creativity begets creativity; each idea (good or bad) sparks another.

No, this isn't my advocation for you to start a daily blog. Rather, this is my encouragement to find something worth doing. Find something that fuels you, serves others, and makes you better. Find it, lean into it, lean into it harder, and watch where it takes you.

Have a wonderful day!

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Trust the Process

Whenever someone is talking about how a loved one needs to improve their finances, they often blurt out statements such as, "They just need to pay off their debt," "They should just save more money, or "They just need to stop spending."

Those statements make a generalized assumption that there is some magical switch that can just be flipped, like a toy doll. The doll stands motionless until you flip the little switch on its back, then it comes alive. Unfortunately (or fortunately), that's not how humans work. It's not as simple as "just pay off debt."

In my now-well-tested opinion, there's not one step to getting right with money. It's not as simple as "just do _____." Rather, there are three critical steps, each as important as the next:

1. Gain awareness

2. Gain control

3. Gain traction

The first step to getting right with our money is to develop an awareness of where we stand. We need to understand the lay of the land, clearly see our current situation, and gain a firm grasp on our current reality. It's the hard look in the mirror.

Once we've gained an awareness of our reality, we can begin to gain control. Slowly but surely, we shift from reactive to proactive. From being a victim of our impulses to the author of the story. We learn the art of telling our money what to do, and then doing it.

Once we've gained control, that's when we can begin to gain traction. When we become the conductor of the symphony, we get to decide what goes where and when. That's when this entire thing unlocks. We earn the right to start making progress in our finances and move the needle in that area of our lives. We get to prioritize and focus, then watch the momentum actually build.

We can't just skip to gaining traction. Traction doesn't happen on accident. First, we need awareness, then control, then the much sought-after traction. Don't put the cart in front of the horse; one step at a time. It may seem like things are moving slowly at first, but then, it accelerates much faster than you could have imagined. Trust the process!

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The Freedom to Eat the Consequences

A while back, blog reader Ryan tipped me off to a few of the other daily publications he follows. One of them is called Daily Discipline by Brian Kight. It sounded intriguing as Ryan explained it, so I started following Brian's content. It's short, relevant, and thought-provoking. Yesterday's post was particularly compelling. In short, Brian proposes freedom comes in two forms: 1) the freedom to make choices, and 2) the freedom to bear the consequences of said choices.

It's a simple, profound, and brilliant idea, and aligns well with everything we talk about over here at The Daily Meaning. We are each the author of our own story, and we must take that opportunity and responsibility seriously. Far too often, we make poor financial and career choices with the freedom bestowed upon us. As Brian points out, with freedom to make choices comes a freedom to eat the consequences:

• According to MarketWatch Guides, approximately 66% of Americans live paycheck-to-paycheck. Income influences this, but not as much as you'd think. 48% of people earning $100,000-$200,000 live paycheck-to-paycheck, and 36% earning $200,000+ live paycheck-to-paycheck.

• According to Gallup, 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. I talk about this statistic regularly, and it always pains me to do so.

We're blessed with the freedom to make any choice we want; more often than not, we use that freedom to make choices that impair our well-being and our future.

As we recognize our freedoms today, we should equally acknowledge the importance of using them to bring meaning, fulfillment, and impact into our lives. It's a huge responsibility, but also a massive opportunity.

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Turn Normal On Its Head

A while back, I saw some social media posts about how Twenty One Pilots did something wild during one of their shows. While performing one of their new songs (which they play every night), lead singer Tyler Joseph, accompanied by a small entourage of camera operators and grips, meandered through the pit while performing the song. If you're not familiar, the pit is the group of people standing immediately in front of the stage. They are often the rowdiest fans, and as a standing-only section, they can get congested and unruly. People jockeying for position, people trying to navigate to their desired location, people looking for the best camera angle or access to the performer.

For international superstars, the mere idea of entering the pit is a scary endeavor. Yet, for years, Twenty One Pilots has engaged directly with their pit fans. At least once per show, Josh Dun, the drummer, sits atop the pit fans while they hold a platform, a drum kit, and Josh above their heads (that takes trust!).

Also, in the final song of this tour's show, both Tyler and Josh have platforms wheeled into the middle of the pit, where they play their iconic song Trees, surrounded by their most loyal fans. It's a sight to behold.

To my delight, I recently turned on YouTube and was greeted with a new music video. They released a video for the song Routines In The Night, featuring all the new pit footage they recently recorded. It's a fun video, and I highly recommend you check it out!

No, this post isn't just for me to rant about Twenty One Pilots. It brings one specific idea to mind. I absolutely love how they turn normal on its head. Normal is to separate themselves from the pit. Normal is to just perform the regular way. Normal is to simply do what everyone else is doing. Instead, they are turning normal on its head and carving out new ways to approach their craft.

When we started the podcast, dozens of people told me, "You can't do a podcast without interviews. Nobody wants to listen to one person talk." That's exactly what we did, and it's been beautiful.

When I started this blog, countless people told me, "You can't send people e-mails every day. Nobody will read that! Just send them one thing per week and call it good." I ignored them, and you all received me with arms wide open. 70% of you read the blog every single day, and I never take that for granted.

When I left my prior career and our family took a 90% pay cut, many people told me I was making the biggest mistake of my life. Yes, it's been a difficult journey, but one of the most beautiful ones I could ever have imagined.

I so much appreciate when people are willing to turn normal on its head and carve a new path. I hope you receive this as encouragement to do the same in your journey. Don't get stuck by what the world says is the right way to do things. Sometimes, you need to rip up the blueprint and start afresh!

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None of Us Really Know What We're Doing

I had a fantastic meeting with two women yesterday who are interested in starting a business. They are each accomplished in their own right and carry themselves with a strong sense of calling and purpose. The passion they have for their work and prospective business is palpable.

As we dove into some of the particulars of starting and running a business, I could tell one of the women was a bit self-conscious about her business acumen. She's absolutely brilliant and successful at her craft, but the business side of things is new-ish to her. Sensing how she felt about this, I added the following regarding business owners: "Don't worry. None of us really know what we're doing. We're just in different stages of figuring it out."

I hadn't actually thought about that until it escaped my mouth, but it's so true! Business owners know nothing....until they know something. And the only way they know something is by doing something they didn't know how to do. It's the ultimate in discomfort. Even Elon Musk, one of the greatest business people of our time, has done everything in his career for the first time at one point or another.

I think most business owners would share the same sentiment if willing to be honest and humble. None of this is easy, but it gets easier as we gain experience. Discomfort turns into experience, which unlocks new discomforts. It's a beautiful, terrible cycle. It's not for everyone, but I love it so much.

I think this woman needed to hear that yesterday, and I suspect some of you do as well. Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't know what you don't know, and there's only one way to change that.

I couldn't be more excited about the ideas these two women shared with me. The potential impact is great, and the passion is real. I have no idea where they will take this, but wherever it goes, I'll absolutely be cheering them on every step of the way!

Please don't be afraid to meet the world with what you currently have to offer. You're better today than you were yesterday, and tomorrow, you'll be better than you were today. "Don't worry. None of us really know what we're doing. We're just in different stages of figuring it out."

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Lessons From a Second-Grader

I remember the first summer league open gym I hosted for Finn and Pax's team this summer. For most (if not all) of these kids, this was their first club basketball experience. Some had played some version of Parks and Recreation before, but this was different. Besides, they were seven-year-olds who just finished first grade a few weeks prior. I think my first ever organized sport might have been fourth-grade basketball, so this was young young.

One particular kid looked anxious. I could tell this was all new to him, and it didn't necessarily come naturally to him. But it was clear he wanted to give it his best effort, which he absolutely did. After practice wrapped up, he approached me: "Coach, what's one thing I did good, and one thing I can work on before next practice?"

I was floored! I wasn't expecting anything like this to happen, so he caught me off-guard. I thought for a minute and provided the most constructive feedback possible. As we walked into the gym a few days later, he approached me again. "I've been working on xyz like you told me." Sure enough, I could tell he had already grown in that area. After practice, he pulled me aside and asked the same question as the prior practice. One thing he did good, and one thing he can work on. I wasn't expecting him to do it again, but I wasn't as flat-footed with my answer this time.

He's asked me the same two questions every single time we've played ball together.....maybe 20 times now. Funny thing, I now think about his two questions as the night progresses, anticipating that moment. Without fail, he seeks me out after practice. I owe him sincere feedback, and I always provide it to him.

Want to know how powerful this is? He's probably grown more as a player these last five months than any kid out there. He sincerely internalizes all of my feedback and works to implement it. He's tremendously coachable, and I love that about him. Today, he doesn't appear anxious when he steps onto the court. He has confidence and a determination about him. I'm excited to see him play in his first game on Saturday. It's going to be a cool experience, and I have no doubt he'll continue to get better each and every time he steps onto the court.

I think we should all approach life like this young man, with curiosity and a sincere desire to grow. To make ourselves vulnerable for the hard-to-hear feedback. Not for the purpose of dragging us down, but rather to help us climb higher. There's no doubt I'd be better at so many things in life if I had the courage to take his approach.

Maybe it's time for me (and you) to start asking the hard questions. If we do, I suspect we'll grow and improve far more than we ever have. It's always humbling to be taught lessons by young kids, but then again, we all have so much to learn.

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First, Do It Poorly

I was sitting in a crowded bar with a buddy, each of us sipping on an old fashioned. We were casually chatting about football. Can the Cyclones run the table? Are the Bears actually decent? How do the Chiefs keep ripping off wins despite a growing number of injuries? 

Then, without notice, his demeanor changed. He became much more serious, almost sad. He confessed that he and his wife have struggled with money for many years. Or, as he put it, "neither one of us is any good with money." I had lots of questions:

"Do you two budget?" 

"No. Never have."

"Are you investing?"

"No. We don't know how."

"Are you giving?"

"Not a chance."

"Do you save money each month?"

"No. We live paycheck to paycheck."

"Do you talk to each other about finances?"

"Never."

The theme was clear. They aren't good at these things, so they simply don't do them. They've opted out, citing incompetence.

It reminds me of Finn and Pax's basketball team, a bunch of second-grade boys. I started working with these boys early in the summer; they were terrible! Well, in their defense, they were seven and had barely ever played before. It was all new to them. Dribbling. Passing. Shooting. Defense. Rebounding. Picking. Many could barely get the ball up to the hoop. 

Today, though, they are so much better! They seem much more confident on the court. They have a better feel for the game. They understand the principles. Their first game is next weekend, and I'm so excited to see how it goes. Will they win? No idea. But I do know one thing: they are far better today than when we started playing in June.

Here's a concept that applies to all areas of life: First, we must do it poorly. Then, we get to do it ok. Later, we get to become good. Eventually, we have the opportunity to be great. But it all starts with our willingness to be terrible.

These little boys don't understand this concept....they are little boys. But that's exactly what's happening. Each practice, they try, and fail.....try, and fail again. Little by little, they go from being terrible to being ok, then good, and maybe one day great. It's all part of the journey.

There's no world in which one of these little boys walks up to me and says, "Well, I'm not as good as Steph Curry, so I might as well quit." That would be insane. Yet, we adults do it every day. If we don't know how to do something, we simply concede we've lost that battle. Instead, let's endeavor to do it poorly. Budget poorly. Invest poorly. Give poorly. Save poorly. Communicate poorly. Doing it poorly is the gateway to great. But don't opt out! Don't take your ball and go home. Have the courage of my seven-year-olds. Be willing to fail. Be willing to be bad. Be willing to get a little better each day.

First, do it poorly.

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Owning Non-Excellence

Irony is best served cold. Yesterday, I talked about how the bar has never been lower. People and businesses are underperforming at an astronomical pace, and we've never seen such an opportunity to meet the market with excellence to excel (with our respective careers or businesses).

Then mere hours later, I performed a masterclass in non-excellence by letting three separate people down: a client, a blog reader, and a fellow board member. Three whiffs, three embarrassments, three regrets. Several factors played into my mistakes, including my new agonizing back injury and technical issues. However, while it would be easy for me to make excuses for these mistakes, there was one common theme in each of them: Me!

The truth is, it doesn't matter what caused the mistakes. The mistakes happened.....period. Passing the blame to some other reason, whether valid or not, doesn't undo the mistake. Therefore, it's my duty to take full responsibility for my non-excellence. There is no other path forward.

In an endeavor to be excellent, there will be non-excellence. It's just going to happen. But what are we going to do with it? Justify it? Excuse it? Blame others? Try to pretend it didn't happen? I hate all of those options. For me, the only reasonable and honoring option is to sincerely apologize, make it right, and endeavor to do better going forward.

That's the only path to excellence. Another way I try to think about it is I'm in the business of getting it right, not being right. If I'm wrong, my obligation to my clients, friends, and colleagues is to get it right; and getting it right starts with taking ownership of the non-excellence.

We must do this personally, and we must do it professionally. It hurts to look in the mirror and realize I'm 100% to blame for something (as I did three times yesterday). But it hurts worse going to bed at night knowing I tried to wiggle out of a mess caused by my own hands. I'll take that slice of humble pie every day of the week.

Today, I plan to be excellent. Will I accomplish it without fail? Probably not. But I'm going to give it my best shot. And WHEN I fall short, I'm going to sincerely apologize, make it right, and hopefully learn from it.

One percent better every day.

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The Bar Has Never Been Lower

"The bar has never been lower."

• TJ Rude, Founder of Northern Vessel

I hear this from TJ at least once per week. It's a commentary on the state of business in our modern times. Businesses today are riddled with poor product quality, inconsistency, bad customer service, and a lack of hospitality. The bar has never been lower. If a business gives us a half-decent product in a moderately reasonable timeframe, and they don't treat us like garbage in the process, we act as though they are wonderful. The bar has never been lower.

I dealt with many businesses during my Minneapolis trip this weekend. Retailers, restaurants, hotels, and venues. The majority were bleh. Poor quality. Inconsistent, Terrible service. Practically no hospitality. I repeatedly watched businesses treat people like dirt and sell them inferior products. The bar has never been lower.

One of my favorite hobbies is to read the comments on restaurant reviews in local Facebook forums. Almost all towns have these FB pages. People found a sharp piece of metal in their salad. The food came out cold. The manager screamed at them. The food didn't arrive for an hour. The restaurant snuck in a secret fee or overrode the tip. Without fail, the commenters blame the customer for not addressing these issues directly with the restaurant. There's almost always another comment about how all restaurants "have an off day." Oh yeah, we also need to include the obligatory comment about how we can't expect anything better because wages are so low. We continually justify and defend terrible. The bar has never been lower.

While there are a lot of components that go into running a successful business, or having a successful career, it's also simple, too. Provide a good product, be consistent, offer good service, and do it with a spirit of hospitality. The bar has never been lower.

One of my friends is far more successful than either of us thought he would be. He didn't create anything world-changing. He sells a simple product. It's nothing special, and I'd argue his competitors have a better product. But he's consistent, he offers great service, and he practices hospitality. People want to work with him. Customers are drawn to him. It's simple! The bar has never been lower.

I hope you think about this as you engage in whatever work is on your plate today. Think about this motto: The bar has never been lower. If that's true, you have an opportunity to stand out! You have a chance to rise above the crowd. Be excellent! Serve others well! Show people to expect better!

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Right Thing, Right Reasons

When I left my prior career and started my coaching business, I promised myself I would always be honest with people. If I could serve them well, I’d tell them. But if I wasn’t the right person for the job, I also needed to share that. I refer to it as doing the right thing for the right reason. It’s not uncommon to meet with a person or a couple and, for one reason or another, know I’m not the right person to serve them. Sometimes it’s a stylistic difference. Sometimes they aren’t fully bought in. Somtimes they don’t want it bad enough. Sometimes they need something different than what I offer. And sometimes, they simply don’t need me at all. 

This idea reminds me of one particular conversation. It was a couple nearing retirement, with kids grown and living their own lives. As we unpacked their situation and questions, I immediately knew they shouldn’t hire me. They were killing it! They had made so many wise choices over the years, and it showed. During that conversation, I was able to give them a few tips, make a few recommendations/referrals, and affirm so much of what they were already doing. I ended the conversation with something to the effect of, “I would be honored to serve you, but if I were you, I wouldn’t hire me. You’re not going to get your money’s worth.” I’m not trying to hurt myself, but I so much believe in doing the right thing for the right reasons. They shouldn’t have hired me…..and they didn’t!

But something happened. I ended up serving one of their grown kids (plus spouse). I cherish that coaching relationship, and this young couple is doing some amazing work. I’m so grateful I get to help add value to their lives. Oh yeah, another thing happened as well. The man I told not to hire me, he and I have become friends. I deeply value his input and insights. He’s a funny guy with an infectious zest for life. He has more life wisdom and experience in his pinky than I have in my entire body. I learn from him about parenting, marriage, careers, and meaning. All this because of one stranger-meets-stranger conversation; a conversation in which I told him not to hire me.

Never underestimate the power of doing the right thing for the right reasons. The right thing is always the right thing. This applies to money, work, ministry, relationships, parenting, and everywhere else! You might not immediately benefit from it, but you’ll ALWAYS win in the long run. 

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I Just Wanna Play Football

I’m thoroughly enjoying my time in Mongolia. The meetings have been fruitful, the relationships rich, and the experiences seared into my memory forever. But for some reason, I can’t quit thinking about the following story.

I often reflect on a particular conversation I had years ago with a bunch of my high school youth group kids. I don't remember the overarching topic of the conversation, but I pulled out a normal-to-me question: "What do you want to do when you're an adult?" The kids around me were a mix of guys and girls, primarily athletes (basketball, volleyball, and football players). I received many to-be-expected answers; teachers, engineers, doctors, veterinarians, etc. Then, one of the guys says, "I just wanna play football." While he was a clearly a stud athlete, he was also the smallest guy in his crew that day. A couple of his buddies snickered at his answer. They weren't laughing AT him or mocking him by any means, but his answer seemed far-fetched. 

A few years later, he was blessed with an opportunity to take his talents to a major D1 football program. He didn't get a full scholarship in his first year, but he made the team! When I asked him what he hoped for, he immediately answered, "I just wanna play." Simple enough. And play he did! If my memory serves me right, an early-season in-game injury to one of his teammates allowed him an opportunity to show his stuff. Turns out, his stuff was pretty good. The rest is history. 

A few weeks ago, he became the first white starting cornerback in the NFL since 2002. I don't usually focus too much on race (especially in sport), but that's an absurd and wild statistic. Not one white dude has started at cornerback in the NFL since Jason Seahorn started 22 years ago! Not only did Riley start, but he's absolutely crushing it. He had 12 tackles in a single game…..as a cornerback! His name is Riley Moss, and he plays for the Denver Broncos. From the Ankeny Centennial Jaguars, to the Iowa Hawkeyes, to the Denver Broncos. Awesome story!

I don't have a close relationship with Riley, but I admire his journey from afar. It's so fun watching people just go for it. Our culture says to lower our expectations and just settle in for something normal, safe, and practical. Yet, here's a young man who had a big dream and kept moving forward. There's probably a world where he doesn't make the NFL; an unfortunate break, an untimely injury, or a missed opportunity. But had that happened, Riley could at least look back at his journey with no regrets. No woulda, shoulda, couldas. 

This really isn't about becoming a professional athlete, or rich, or famous, or powerful. It's about giving yourself permission to dream, and then going for it. The courage to fight our prevailing culture and take the path less traveled. To block out what the world says, and just leave it all on the field, as they say. 

I wish Riley nothing but the best. I hope he accomplishes everything he pursues. It's not going to be an easy journey, and he will most certainly face pain, suffering, and challenges. But it will be a beautiful journey, regardless.

I wish the same for you!

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How to Avoid Failure and Criticism

Guys, lean in. Lean in close. A little further. I'm whisper typing. Do you want to know how to avoid failure and criticism? If so, today is your lucky day. It involves two very simple steps. Here you go:

1. Do nothing.

2. Say nothing.

You're welcome!

Ok, back to my normal typing volume. What I just said is 100% true. If you really want to avoid failure and criticism, simply do nothing. People will most certainly leave you alone if you endeavor to accomplish nothing. In fact, you might even be applauded for it by some people in your life. You know, the ones who will feel validated by their own inaction.

This formula is simple, and it stands the test of time. If you try to do something or say something, you will inevitably be ridiculed. However, if you just keep quiet and focus only on yourself, you can possibly avoid the wrath of others.

What path do you prefer? Here's my answer: Give me the wrath every day of the week. If the cost of making a difference is the sharp knife of judgment, I guess I'll take the cuts.

On the heels of losing a particular platform and voice, a trusted friend asked if it made me want to quit. After thinking about it briefly, I responded, "No, it makes me want to double down on my efforts. The mission is too great."

I thought I'd stop failing and getting criticized; I didn't.

I thought I'd get used to criticism and failure; I didn't.

I thought this entire thing would get easier; it didn't.

Some of you are feeling the exact same way. So today, my job is to tell you to keep going. If you're failing and/or getting criticized, it means you're doing something. That's not a stain, but rather a badge of honor. Wear it well.

You can easily avoid failure and criticism—that option is on the table. Alternatively, you can dive head-first into them. I hope you choose the latter today!

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