Happy Curation

On the heels of a recent post about a client of mine that has done a beautiful job of curating their life, I received a handful of e-mails from blog readers asking for real-life examples of what it looks like to curate one's life. I absolutely love this, and it got me thinking about how Sarah and I have managed to curate our own family's life over the past six years.

With that context in mind, the following are a handful of examples of how we've intentionally curated our lives in recent years:

• We live two minutes from Finn and Pax's school (one way) and two minutes from my office (the other way). Our logistical life is situated within a half-mile radius on the same street. It's simpler than simple.

• We rent our house, which gives us complete predictability on our cost of living. It's one of the biggest life hacks on the planet.

• We allocate a healthy amount of money each month for travel, allowing us to travel a lot.

• Sarah stays at home (while part-time nannying and part-time volunteering), meaning we have a lot of logistical flexibility while relieving me from many of life's inconveniences. This allows me to focus on what I need to focus on.

• I never take a meeting before 9AM, which enables me to spend my early mornings with the boys and take them to school each day.

• Since we keep our living expenses low, we're able to focus heavily on generosity. This changed our lives.

• Once I left my prior career and started my self-employment journey, I gave myself the freedom to engage with any new work that I felt called to try. This has led me to work on several different endeavors at any given time.

• I purchased an affordable convertible ($9,000) that I use as a fun commuter car for half the year. It adds an immense amount of richness to my day-to-day life.

• We live within walking distance of several restaurants, coffee shops, parks, and shops.

Each of these things combines for a curated life that's exactly how my family wants to live. I'm NOT advocating for you to live a similar life. Rather, my encouragement is for you to methodically and intentionally curate your own life to align with your values. There's no reason to be a victim of circumstance when you can be the author of the journey. Happy curation!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

From the Ashes

One of my friends experienced something beyond horrifying. They've been through it all, and somehow stand upright on the other side of it. I can't even imagine the amount of pain they've endured.

During a recent conversation, I shared that I'm hopeful and confident that beauty will eventually rise from the ashes of this chaos. Over the subsequent 45 minutes, they shared beauty, after beauty, after beauty.

Watching their friends, family, and neighbors rally around them with unconditional love, support, and generosity. They've never felt more loved than they do now.

Speaking of generosity, the love they've experienced from those around them has unlocked an entirely new understanding of what it means to be joyfully and sacrificially generous. Some of their perspectives on giving have been rewired, and the potential consequences of this shift are exciting!

Watching their kids grow in their faith, resilience, and perseverance. Nobody wishes their children to experience pain and suffering, but to see faith bloom during this season has been a tremendous blessing.

Gaining a newfound outlook on life, relationships, finances, and what it means to pursue meaning over money.

Feeling a deep sense of gratitude. Not dwelling on all the things we don't have, but being sincerely grateful for all we do.

Beauty, through the ashes. Sometimes we get more than we bargained for, and we'd give anything to undo it, but beauty will always rise from the ashes.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Say No to Guilt

Do you ever make financial decisions out of guilt or societal pressure? If yes, that means you're human. If no, that means you're lying......or a robot. It happens to all of us at times. Throughout the course of our day-to-day lives, we face thousands of decisions, big and small. We run into situations where we might want to make one particular decision, but the walls of guilt and/or pressure start to close in.

Tipping is one area that's becoming increasingly difficult for people to navigate. It seems like everyone and everything wants a tip. I was recently solicited for a tip from a machine that was fully automated. What do you mean the robot wants a tip?!?!?

In a recent survey conducted by Talker Research, it was discovered that Americans are spending $283/year on guilt-driven tipping in 2025, which happens an estimated 4.2x per month. $283/year is nearly $24/month. We each spend an average of $24/month on tips, solely dictated by the guilt and pressure!

As the owner of a coffee shop, I'm acutely aware of this tension. On one hand, I completely get why people are growing weary of the systematic and manufactured pressures to tip. On many occasions, it does feel like we are getting set up and manipulated.

On the other hand, I embrace the idea of our team being handsomely rewarded for excellence and hospitality. I want them to crush it, but I want them to earn it! I want them to add so much value to that experience that people want to freely and generously tip them (no guilt!).

Where I personally land on this topic is to never be influenced by guilt or pressure when tipping. When I'm at a coffee shop or most other service providers, I demand excellence. When excellence is delivered, I tip exceedingly well. Even when the service is poor (which is now a common occurrence), I tip something. I know my opinion is controversial to many, but I'm still a tipping purist at heart. I believe tipping is an intimate form of generosity, grace, and an opportunity to reward and incentivize excellence. I'm all-in on tipping.

My Meaning Over Money business partner, Cole, has a different perspective. He's beyond tired of our tipping culture and is quick to hit "no tip" in many situations. For example, if the establishment isn't in the food and beverage industry, no tip. If it's a food and beverage establishment and he has to order at a counter or walk up to grab his own food or drink, no tip. If the employee isn't polite and friendly, a much lower tip. Similar to me, but in the completely opposite way, Cole doesn't feel guilt, either. He is sincere in his actions and doesn't lose sleep over it.

While I disagree with Cole's tipping principles, I fully approve and affirm his endeavor to make guilt-free and pressure-free decisions. That's an important part of living with meaning in our finances. Nothing good comes from guilt, so let's strive to remove it from our day-to-day habits.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Being Stupid

Yesterday morning, I was sitting at church, minding my own business, when out of nowhere, the man giving the message anonymously told a story about me! I was shocked, to say the least. He's a friend of mine, so it was an honor for him to even think about me in this regard.

To summarize, he shared examples of people who made decisions that led others to call them "stupid." In my case, he shared how I had a high-paying job that would have essentially ensured I'd be financially set for life. Then, in an attempt to serve more people in different ways, be more present with my family, and be a better father, I quit my job to start my own little business. This decision resulted in people all around me (including some extremely close to me) telling me I was "being stupid."

I gotta admit, having some of your closest friends and family call you "stupid" is a hard pill to swallow. At the same time, though, we shouldn't endeavor to gain the approval of others. It's our journey to live, and we're the ones who must live with the consequences of our own actions.

Over the last six years since making that decision, I've had many people call me stupid for many different decisions. It's unsettling when people around us make counter-cultural choices, and it challenges us in our soft spots. We've all been on that side of the equation. Just last week, I found myself getting jealous of a friend for doing something I don't personally (yet) have the courage to try. Instinctively, I wanted to call him "stupid," but truthfully, that was my own insecurity creeping in.

I feel like half my days are spent encouraging people to do "stupid" things. So many people are teetering on the edge of making life-altering decisions, but the cultural pressure from people around them often holds them back. After all, nobody wants to be "stupid."

There's a shadow side to all this. At some point along the journey, the same people who initially thought we were stupid start to see the positive side of these seemingly crazy decisions. In some situations, without even saying a word, we begin to inspire other people to make their own "stupid" decisions. Stupidity is contagious, I guess.

This is the role we each have the opportunity of playing. Our decisions and choices may draw the ire of people all around us, but so too does the product of our actions. Someone has to break the mold.....why not you?

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Exceptions

Yesterday was Iowa State Football's home opener. I took the boys, and we had a blast together. The day was sweeter with a blowout win, too! We made so many fun memories and lost our voices from the cheering and screaming. Good times! Go Cyclones!

As the game drew to a close, the boys didn't want to leave. Pax wanted to play catch with the football, and Finn stood all the way down by the field, watching the marching band and maintenance crews. Though dark clouds were clearly moving in, I decided to let the boys dictate our pace. If they wanted to linger, we would linger.

Finally, they were ready to leave. About 30 seconds after leaving the stadium, a downpour opened from the skies.....followed by a heavy dose of thunder. Problem: Our car was more than a mile away. I checked the weather app, which indicated the rain would be sticking around for a while.

I made an on-the-fly decision. I pulled up Uber and ordered a car to drive us from the stadium to our parked car. $20 (surge pricing). Ouch! It never feels good to spend $20 (plus tip) to have someone deliver you to your own car just one mile away, but sometimes we need to make exceptions.

The truth is, Uber could have charged me $100 and I would have done it. I didn't want to risk walking in lightening, and walking 25 minutes in a downpour sounded miserable. While not the best expense in the world, that $20 was going to be the best money we spent all month. The Uber drive itself was an adventure, and our young driver was overwhelmed by the gameday traffic. However, he was a good dude, and the boys and I decided to tip him an additional $20. Therefore, that entire endeavor cost $40.

It's so easy to look at certain expenses and roll our eyes. On paper, it doesn't make sense. Spending $40 to have someone drive us a mile to our car doesn't make sense. So many things don't make sense. However, sometimes we need to make exceptions.

Somtimes, making weird decisions is more about quality of life than standard of living. I didn't spend $40 for a 1-mile Uber to have a higher standard of living. In the moment, that money was going to dramatically increase our quality of life. It was priceless, in a sense. Our day was better because of that decision, and I’d make it 100 times out of 100. A beautiful exception.

Be willing to make exceptions. Don't be so absolute in your boundaries that you miss the bigger picture. Context matters. Circumstance matters. Mental, physical, and emotional health matters. Quality of life matters. Don't be afraid to make questionable decisions to protect those things from time to time. We can't do it all the time, but when odd or unique situations arise, be willing to pull the exception trigger.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Curating Your Life

Do you ever wake up and ask yourself, "How did I end up here?!?!" It's remarkable how life can move so quickly at times that we unintentionally end up in places we didn't intend to be. The previous sentence can be taken positively or negatively, but this phenomenon tends to impact us more on the negative side, as it's much easier to accidentally end up somewhere we don't want to be than somewhere we do want to be.

This concept applies to so many areas of our lives:

• What we spend money on.

• Who we have relationships with.

• The work we find ourselves in.

• What we do with our time.

Every once in a while, I have a "What am I doing?!?!" moment. I recognize that I somehow got off course and ended up somewhere I never intended to be. As soon as that happens, I try to be extraordinarily intentional about changing course back in a direction I desire to be.

Last week, in the middle of a client meeting, I thought to myself, "This couple has curated their life better than anyone I know!!!!" They don't make more money than the average family. They aren't living some exotic lifestyle. They don't have flashy jobs. They are normal people living normal lives, but with one catch: They are living the exact life they curated for themselves. Where they live, where they work, who they hang out with, how they spend their time, and how they structure their family life. It all seems so intentional.

The cool part about this family is that I've watched this slowly come together over the course of a decade. I've known the husband for ages, so having a front-row seat to his inspiring example of intentional living has been a treat.

No, they aren't wealthy. No, life hasn't gone perfectly. In fact, they would be the first to admit it's been a messy ride. However, through the noise, they've been able to maintain an intentionality toward their unique definition of ideal life.....and they've pursued it with discipline.

A big part of this is rejecting society's conventional wisdom for how we ought to live, and instead choosing to stay laser-focused on our values. Again, this applies to time, money, work, relationships, and more. Forget what everyone else is doing; just be you!

One key sign you're doing it well is if someone accuses you of being weird. Many of my family's decisions and actions get called out for going against the grain. I'm never offended by such comments, as they only affirm that we're living the life we're called to live. My kids are starting to see some of this, making random comments every now and then. I love that, and I want them to know the importance of curating a meaningful life with intention and discipline.

What about you? What actions have you taken to curate your most meaningful and ideal life? Conversely, what decisions, made today or in the near future, would get you closer to living the life you know you're meant to live?

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Bad Moments, Not Bad Days

I recently wrote about how structure is so crucial to my life. Without it, I lose productivity, meaning, and sanity. I mentioned that I even create structure around "the habits that connect to particular actions." I'm about to share a story about this, and I promise the payoff will be worth it.

I have a specific habit sequence when I drive my 350Z:

• I always walk out of the house with my work bag.

• I set my bag on the ground on the driver's side of the car.

• I start the car and push the button to lower the convertible top.

• I reach down, pick up my bag, and swing it over to the passenger seat.

• I shut my door and back out of the driveway.

It's clockwork to the degree that it takes zero mental energy to execute. My mind is often already preoccupied with the day ahead. Yesterday, though, my habit sequence was broken.....and I paid the price. Since the ground was wet, I set my bag in a different spot. Also, frustratingly, my convertible top wouldn't open. Since it didn't open, I didn't have the mental trigger to reach down for my bag to swing it across. I put the car in reverse and started backing out. However, after just a few feet, I hit a bump.

I knew it immediately; I ran into my bag. Crunch! In an instant, I knew I was about to suffer some brutal consequences. I swiftly pulled my laptop out of my bag and opened the lid: I was met with a multi-color screen full of cracks. It was ruined! The same for my second monitor: ruined.

Long story short, the only thing I damaged on my computer is the screen, which will cost me $100 out of pocket due to AppleCare insurance. But I burned a morning trying to navigate the situation. It was as big a mess as I could have imagined......and one I didn't need.

The thing I always think about is the difference between a bad day and a bad moment. It's so easy to let a bad moment spiral into a bad day (or days). In the past, I probably would have allowed this mess to spiral me for a week. Now, however, I have so many things on my plate and people relying on me. I can't afford to have a bad day. Instead, I choose to have a bad moment. I largely rallied and was able to take care of business for the remainder of the day.

One contributing factor to bad moments vs. bad days is the amount of meaning we carry in our lives. If I'm in a season where I don't feel meaning in my work, relationships, or other endeavors, even a harmless, annoying/inconvenient moment can spiral into a bad day. Today, however, I feel tremendous meaning in my life. Therefore, when the bad moments strike, I'm more easily able to let the moment be a moment, then find a way to navigate into a good day with abad moment.

I don't feel convicted about this today. Rather, I'd love to hear your thoughts. How do you respond to this story and message? I'd love to hear your input! Jokes at my expense are permitted.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Just Take a Step

You never know what will happen by simply taking a step. Some steps are insignificant. Some steps move us forward. Some steps hinder our progress. Some steps change everything. Here's the problem: We rarely know which is which.

In the fall of 2015, I received a phone call from a guy I barely knew. His name was Gary Hoag (yes, the same Gary I often talk about in my writing). I had only met him one time at that point, but I was excited to speak to him again. Long story short, he called to ask if I would be interested in joining him in some international ministry. The next step would be for Sarah and me to fly to Asia to interview with the board. I had never been to Asia. I had lots of emotions. I was excited, anxious, and overwhelmed. What should I do?!?!

I took a step. I booked plane tickets and we boarded a plane for Asia. Some steps change everything; this step changed everything. Ten years later, I still call these people family. I've experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows with these people. I've seen the best of humanity, and the worst of humanity. I've seen the overwhelming awesomeness of God, and the absolute brokenness of our world. I've seen things I can never unsee.....for better or for worse. Through it all, we've done it together. Grateful doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about this group of people.

All because I took a step. One simple step. That step could have meant nothing. It could have been insignificant. It could have been as forgettable as any step. We never know which is which. But this particular step changed everything.

We humans are so good at saying no, justifying inaction, and normalizing the status quo. Sometimes, though, we just need to take a step. No, we won't know where our steps will lead. No, we don't know if it will impact us. No, there's no certainty our lives will be better for it. However, there's no way for us to experience life-changing steps without first being willing to simply take a step.

Taking a step is one of the hardest things about the human experience. It's risky. It's scary. It's uncertain. All true, but it can also be beautiful. Today, I challenge you to take a step. I don't know what your step is, but I think you do. There's something you know you need to step into. It could be nothing.....or it could change everything.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Block By Block

Yesterday was a special day for me. Nobody knew it was a special day, but I felt it from front to back. Pax has really come alive these past few days, actively engaging with the various leaders we're spending time with. Yesterday alone, Pax spent time with leaders from five different countries and was exposed to six different languages. Every once in a while, he would give me a look. It was a look that communicated some combination of impressed, curious, and excited. He was like a sponge. His eyes are opening to the world, and his curiosity is palpable.

As the day progressed, I could see him gaining more confidence. He asked more questions, volunteered to help out, and approached people whom, just a few days prior, he seemed intimidated by. Block by block.

"Dad, when can we go to Mongolia?" Those words are music to my ears. His view of the world is expanding. He's starting to see a bigger picture forming. He's beginning to think about people outside his own little bubble. Block by block.

A few of the men said they were going to swim out into Lake Huron, where there's a large sand bar a few hundred feet out. It's an intimidating lake that's more akin to an ocean. Water as far as the eyes can see, with waves caused by the recent storm continuously crashing on shore. Pax, having grown in his confidence and trust in this diverse group of leaders, eagerly and excitedly jumped in with us. Block by block.

Will this week change Pax's life? Maybe, but probably not. However, what he's experiencing during his time here is a key building block in a broader journey. It's uncomfortable, but fulfilling. It's nerve-wracking, but exciting. Man, I'm proud of that little guy. We still have a few days left, and I'm excited to watch both boys add a few more blocks.

Perhaps this message is for your kids.....or maybe it's for you. Block by block. Every experience (especially the ones that put us out of our comfort zone) is an opportunity to add a block. Subject yourself to new, interesting, and challenging experiences. Put yourself out there. Find new ways to serve. Engage with people who are different than you. Embrace new cultures. Every single block makes us better.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Loaded Freighters

After a full day of meetings in eastern Michigan yesterday, we spent the evening walking alongside Lake Huron just a stone's throw from Canada. Pax and I threw the football (while he was running imaginary routes around the seagulls), Finn looked for fossils along the beach, the adults engaged in conversation, and we all enjoyed the beautiful sunset. One of the highlights was watching the freighters work through the narrow channel between the U.S. and Canada. These massive vessels are the length of two to three football fields, yet navigate confidently through the choppy waters.

I noticed something interesting while watching these vessels. One of them was fully loaded. I can't even imagine how much weight it was carrying, but the sheer scale was amazing. It sat fairly deep in the water, and its pace was slow. I suspect it takes a massive amount of fuel to propel it, and turning is probably a tricky endeavor.

The second freighter appeared empty. It sat higher in the water and moved quickly. The vessel seemed more nimble and likely required less fuel to propel it through the water.

I think that's a fitting analogy for how we live. Some of us are loaded freighters, weighed down with so many material possessions. Our lives are full of stuff and financial obligations. There's a heftiness to it. We move more slowly and we're less nimble. It takes more fuel (i.e., money) to propel us through life as we try to carry all this weight.

Other people, though, live life like an empty freighter. Their lives are simpler and more prudent. Since they float higher on the water, they are more nimble and can more easily pivot when desired. They require far less fuel to propel them through life. The empty freighters of life often live with far more margin and need fewer resources to maintain the status quo.

I remember a time when I lived like a loaded freighter. It gets tiring after a while! While the various freight I carried was kinda cool, the perpetual weight grew tiring. Eventually, I looked in the mirror and asked myself what I was doing. Was it really worth carrying around all this weight? What if I didn't have this pulling me down? What decisions could I make if I unloaded some of it? What pivots would life allow if I could be more nimble?

The answers to those questions changed everything. In a very short period of time, we shifted from living like a loaded freighter to an empty freighter. We felt freer, decisions felt easier, and we were able to pivot in ways I only previously dreamed about. It changed my life, and I've watched similar decisions change countless other families' lives as well. There's something oh so beautiful about unloading the freight. It might not seem like much on the surface, but below the water, it makes all the difference in the world!

Perhaps it's time to unload some of the freight.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Willful Discomfort

Can we all agree that life can be uncomfortable? Regardless of how much comfort we try to pursue, discomfort will find us. Don't agree? Last time I checked, none of us make it out alive. Discomfort is coming, but the who, what, when, where, why, and how are still up in the air.

Last night, I had the blessing of spending time with a group of people ranging from long-time friends, to acquaintances, to first-time encounters. The conversation went deep. I heard several profound stories that rocked me to the core.

Something interesting dawned on me by the time the night concluded. Every one of these amazing stories had one thing in common: willful discomfort. While life will inevitably become uncomfortable at times, every person in that room willfully subjected themselves to discomfort along their journey. Not only that, but this willful act of discomfort had a direct connection with the beauty that subsequently unfolded.

This is a topic I write and talk about a lot, but it never goes out of style. Here's one example from my own life. Just over six years ago, Sarah and I made the radical decision that I would leave my 15-year career, our family would take a 90% pay cut, and we'd start over with a completely different life. All the material comforts our world had to offer were staring us in the face, and we turned the other way. Culturally, what we did was stupid. Mathematically, what we did was stupid. Comfort-wise, what we did was stupid.

However, with the benefit of six years of hindsight, that willful discomfort was easily the best decision I've ever made in my life. It might have also been one of the toughest things I've ever done, but that's a story for a different day. That single act of willful discomfort transformed our family, our lives, and the impact we've been able to make. Many decades from now, when I look back on my life and the thousands of key decisions I made, I will surely pinpoint that decision and a few other ridiculous acts of willful discomfort as the turning points of my life.

Sure, discomfort will find all of us.....eventually. However, what I'm suggesting today is that we should each willfully pursue discomfort. Find it, welcome it, and embrace it. When we're willing to stare at discomfort in the face and not allow it to deter us, everything is on the table. That's living!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Time and Attention

We are in the midst of family adventures. I always wonder if my kids (almost nine) will be "too cool" for some of the ridiculous ideas I manufacture in my brain. Perhaps that day will come, but not yet! Again and again, our adventures are met with awe, wonder, and excitement (or in Pax's case, random public griddy dances).

It never ceases to amaze me how the simplest and least complex activities and experiences move the needle with kids. Even a random trip into a convenience store can spark smiles and memories. I find that these interesting little experiences spur me on to come up with even more little experiences.

The truth is, they compound. Every little experience builds on the last. It becomes one long story that weaves through time and space. Today will be full of new adventures and memories, and as a parent, I want to harness this opportunity to truly enjoy it. I know it won't last forever, so we might as well not take it for granted.

I often hear from clients who are frustrated and disenchanted by not having enough money to give their kids "special experiences." Don't let money be the deciding factor. Money can buy experiences, but experiences aren't conditioned upon money. Further, the amount of money we spend doesn't directly correlate with the memories that are created. Sometimes, the cheapest memories are more valuable than the most expensive ones.

Don't let money be the elephant in the room. Time is your most valuable resource. Whether you have money to invest in your experiences or not, invest your time and attention. Diligently and consistently invest your time and attention into these precious opportunities. That’s the secret sauce to opening an entire new world for our children. They could take or leave the money, but they deeply crave our time and attention. Therefore, let’s invest it well!

Have an awesome day! Please go create some cool memories.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

It’s Just the Way It’s Done

Do you ever find yourself doing things a certain way simply because that's just the way it's done? Maybe it's just the way others do it. Or maybe it's just the way you've always done it, for whatever reason. But in any event, we often get stuck in a certain autopilot groove, for better or worse. 

I think about this a lot, especially when I assess my own rhythms of life. My first time thinking about this topic was when I started spending meaningful time in Asia. As expected, their culture is so much different from ours. As I watched closely, I realized some of their cultures, customs, and rituals are awesome. And if that's true, why don't we model some of our behaviors similarly? Probably because we simply do it the way we do it. Over time, I started adopting non-traditional habits and customs into my own life.

My second profound moment was when I left the corporate world after 15 years. I started asking myself questions like, "What is a workday?" "What is a work week?" "What is a vacation?" 

After six years of obsessing about these questions, I've landed in some interesting places:

• I never start work before I've been able to hang out with my kids and drive them to school. 

• I never take a meeting before 9 AM. 

• I work at the office every Thursday night.

• If my kids ask me to do something with them during a workday, I’ll try to engineer my day around it.

• I typically do my most meaningful work on Saturday afternoons. 

• I regularly travel during the week for non-work purposes, but find ways to integrate my work into it. 

• I work in four different offices (sometimes all in the same day), depending on context and situations. 

• I regularly work at night after Sarah and the kids go to bed.

• I regularly have non-work meetings with interesting people about peculiar subjects that seem incongruent with my work.

All this to say, after a lot of intentionality, I've successfully managed to stave off nearly every trope about what a day, week, and trip should look like. I'm NOT suggesting you model your life after mine. Far from it! Actually, you doing that would be counter to my entire point here. What I'm suggesting is that each of us should look in the mirror, ask ourselves if we could rip up the script and redesign our day-to-day and week-to-week lives, what would it look like? Your answer is going to be much different than mine......and that's a good thing!

Try me on this one. Put it to the test. Even just a few small tweaks to "normal" could make a massive difference in your life!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

On Brand

On the heels of yesterday's post about bougie purchases, I ran into a friend today mere hours after he had read that post. He shared a few thoughts about the post, then asked me about a recent bougie purchase I've made. I told him that I recently purchased Twenty One Pilot concert tickets for my family right around Finn and Pax's ninth birthday; they weren't cheap!

He looked at me for a few seconds, then responded, "Seems on brand."

"On brand." He's so right. Knowing me, it didn't surprise him that I dropped a good chunk of money for Twenty One Pilot concert tickets. In his perspective, that's exactly the sort of bougie thing my family would do. In other words, our version of bougie tightly aligns with our family's values and interests.

I also heard from a handful of readers about their version of bougie, and in every single situation, it seemed "on brand." That's a great tell! When our behaviors align with our values, we can be confident that we're making decisions that add value to our lives.

Where many people go astray is when they make culture-driven decisions that don't actually align with their values. They do things because that's what other people are doing. From the cars they buy, to the clothes they wear, to the neighborhoods they live in, to the trips they take. Without even realizing it, we allow the prevailing culture to dictate how we use our precious resources.

So, when my buddy called my bougie decision "on brand," I took that as the ultimate compliment. Whatever you're up to, whatever you're spending money on, whatever you're investing time/energy into, ask yourself the question, "Is this on brand?" If the answer is "yes," do it with confidence!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

When the Beauty Arrives

In July 2024, I wrote a piece titled 'Beauty From the Pain' about a friend who was experiencing profound turmoil in her life. The post was about the reality that while painful moments are absolutely terrible while in the midst of them, beautiful things often transpire from them. I ended the piece with this: "Someday, preferably sooner than later, I hope my friend sees how much beauty came from this season of her life. She deserves it! Whatever pain you're experiencing, just know that a beautiful chapter will soon be written. Keep pressing on. You deserve it, too."

A few days ago, 55 weeks after writing that piece, that same friend sent me the most amazing update about her journey. After so much hurt, unknown, and self-doubt, she's about to enter a brand new season of life, full of optimism and opportunity. And just as predicted, the very things that caused her so much pain last year will now be used as tools to help her thrive in this next chapter. Beauty from the pain!

This is one of the things that makes life so hard. Despite feeling like our lives are flashing before our eyes, those tumultuous seasons seem to linger. It feels like we're stuck in quicksand, trapped in our own circumstance. However, if we can see it through and KNOW there is beauty on the other side of this pain, it could give us the extra boost of energy and motivation we need.

Whatever pain you're going through today, know that the end is near, and beauty is waiting on the other side. We won't know what form that beauty will come in, but it sure will be fun to find out!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Wednesdays

I'm often accused of having an exciting life. I meet with fascinating people, am engaged with a multitude of different endeavors, and visit interesting places (both here and abroad). On the surface, I can see how people would believe I lead an exciting life. The truth is, however, my life is quite boring. I live a tremendously boring life with some exciting moments sprinkled in. If you don't believe me, you should ask Sarah!

One of the talks at the Global Leadership Summit this week was about how the best leadership is boring. Sure, there are exciting moments and opportunities, but if you were to follow even the most "exciting" leaders around in their day-to-day lives, it's probably pretty boring! The exciting 5% are the highlights, while the boring 95% is where the deep, meaningful, and impactful work gets done in what can feel like the mundane.

And boring is good! I crave boring. I cherish the boring. I love the routines, daily disciplines, and rhythmic schedules. They keep me grounded. They give me peace. They allow me to focus my most creative energies on serving people well. Sure, I love the weird and interesting things I get to do in my life, and I'll never take any of that for granted, but boring is good!

After this talk, Walker Hayes jumped onto the stage with his guitar. Please forgive me, but I had no idea who Walker Hayes is. I've never heard the name before, but from the roar of the audience, I was in the minority (as evidenced by his 1.3M followers on IG). Anyway, Walker comes onto the stage and shares his reflections on the first few talks of the day. Specifically, he shared about how, on the surface, his life as a traveling musician and songwriter is exciting. However, he admitted that his life, too, is also fairly boring.....and that's a good thing. Then, he played a song about it, titled Wednesdays. I encourage you to click the link above or click play on the embedded video below to check it out. So beautiful.

Whatever your day looks like today, whether boring or exciting, I hope it's a beautiful one!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Your Ideal Reset

My family recently had its annual summer vacation. We take several random trips throughout the year, but this is our sixth year taking this specific trip. It's the highlight of our family's summer, and an event most highly anticipated by all four of us.

Including travel days, we were gone for eight days. If you ask Sarah, she would say that a few more days would be perfect. If you ask me, two to three fewer days would be perfect. Even while having the best time in the world, I start going stir crazy by day six. It's not that I take it for granted or don't love it, but by that time, my mind and body are ready to get back to work.

A study conducted in 2012 found that, on average, the ideal length for a vacation is eight days. That's when we achieve maximum satisfaction before the law of diminishing returns kicks in. If you're not familiar with the law of diminishing returns, think about a delicious apple pie. That first slice is amazing! The second slice is also pretty fantastic! The third slice, though? That third slice starts to make us feel a little lethargic. What about the fourth slice? The fourth slice makes us queasy. What about the fifth? We're in a coma. Somewhere between the first slice and the second slice is peak satisfaction, which begins to diminish after that until we become worse off.

Vacations are the same. After a certain amount of time away, we achieve our peak satisfaction from our trip. Then, the law of diminishing returns kicks in. In my particular situation, I hit that point around day six. I NEED to get back into life and rhythm. I NEED to serve people again. I NEED to re-engage with my company.

The law of diminishing returns is one of the key reasons I vehemently disagree with the notion of early retirement. For those who believe that a life of leisure is the prescription to happiness, the law of diminishing returns has some bad news for you. In practice, a life of leisure eventually becomes empty and unfulfilling.....like that fourth and fifth slice of delicious apple pie. Too much of a good thing can become a very bad thing.

The alternative, though, can be beautiful. A mix of work and play, time on and time off, serving people well before getting a reset, pushing hard and then resting. It's a give and take. We don't have to grind ourselves into a pulp so that we can eventually take our ball and go home. My biggest encouragement is for people to find a permanently sustainable rhythm that you never want to retire from. How amazing would that be!?!?

What about you? What's your ideal vacation timeline? Sarah votes for 10 days. I vote for 5 or 6. The data says 8. What say you?

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Blood Money

I've received countless thoughtful responses to yesterday's post about my friend who turned down his dream job because it would require him to effectively take a $850/month pay cut. His dream, calling, and aspirations were sitting right in front of him, and all he had to do was say "yes." He said "no." Money overcame meaning. He knows that, and he also recognizes that the societal pressures all around him were the driving force for his ultimate decision.

One reader took exception to my analysis and aggressively came to the defense of my friend. "You're a finance guy, Travis. You know the math. If your friend invests $850 each month for the next 25 years, that's $1,000,000. That's how he gets to create generational wealth. He'd be stupid to throw away that opportunity."

The math is correct. $850 contributed per month, at a 9% annual return, for 25 years (300 months), would result in about $950,000. He's absolutely right.

You know what I call that? Blood money. If my friend throws away his dreams, calling, and aspirations for the next 25 years (from age 42 to 67) and instead hoards all of this excess money, he'll end up $1M richer. Last time I checked, he only gets one life. One chance. One opportunity. One shot at this. And he's going to exchange the 25 most productive years of his life for a million dollars?!?!? Blood money!

If you know me (whether personally or through the blog/podcast), you know that I'm a big believer in investing. I teach it, advocate for it, encourage it, and help people execute it. I'm a staunch believer in the power of long-term investing. However, NEVER at the expense of meaning and impact. If our investing prevents us from living a meaningful life or it's at the expense of making an impact on others, it defeats the purpose.

Money for money's sake is like losing the game in the first quarter, but not yet knowing you lost. It's the kind of loss that sneaks up on us and blindsides us just as we thought we were about to win.

Sure, my friend could elect to invest $850/month for the next 25 years by turning down his dream. It will result in a million dollars. That's real money. Alternatively, he could live with meaning and follow his dream, calling, and aspirations, and undoubtedly live an amazing life. Not 25 years from now when he has a ton of money, but today. Today. Tomorrow. Next week. Next month. Next year. Always.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

No Countdowns

We tend to look at lives as some form of long-term countdown. We perceive ourselves (and our loved ones) as 90 years old, then count backwards. I'm 30, I have 60 years left. I'm 50, I have 40 years left. I'm 70, I have 20 years left. For whatever reason, we put this arbitrary date on our proverbial calendar, then measure our time against that.

One of my friends recently found out his wife has "One to three months" left to live. In their 30s, their internal clock probably said they had 60 more years left in the countdown. Then, at the snap of a finger, their countdown is reduced to 30-90 days.

There are no countdowns. All we have is today, plus whatever tomorrow brings. There's a tension in that unknown, as we must embrace today for all it is while also preparing for the future in our imagination. We might be gone tomorrow......or still here at 90.

I've mentioned several times on this blog that I've always had a feeling that my time would come sooner rather than later. It's not a comforting feeling, but it has helped me think a lot about this topic.

While I spend much of my professional time helping families prepare for the long run, I also beat on the drum of living with meaning TODAY. If all we do is live for today, we might end up sabotaging our future selves. On the flip side, if all we do is live for the future, we might never actually live with true meaning. Again, the tension.

In a world with no countdowns, the answer feels obvious to me. Simply live with meaning. Live with meaning today, live with meaning tomorrow, and hopefully, God willing, continue living with meaning when we're 90. If we're living with meaning, everything else will eventually sort itself out. It's not about how much we spend, save, or invest. It's not really a mathematical conversation at all. Instead, let's look past the money and aggressively pursue meaning for meaning's sake. In a world with no countdowns, meaning is the thread that holds it all together.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

A Hole Full of Water

Yesterday, I had the privilege of swimming with my kids. If you're a parent of small children, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Never underestimate the power of a hole full of water. There's something magical about it for kids. For hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, the boys swam, jumped, and splashed around. We dove for toys, did handstands, practiced our cannonballs, made hurling football catches, and plenty of other silly games.

To me, this represents the simplicity of life. Life doesn't require massive outlays of money, elaborate plans, and exotic destinations. Often, it just requires a hole full of water. Perhaps not literally a hole full of water, but a figurative hole full of water. The simple things are the best things. The simple things are the most valuable things. That principle applies to adults just as much as it does to kids.

Think about your purest moments of peace. Do they revolve around some elaborate and expensive endeavor? I suspect most people's answers will be a hole full of water type answer.

My hole full of water is a cup of black coffee in the morning, a long walk with a good podcast playing in my ears, and watching a movie at night with kids positioned against both my hips. Those are my holes full of water. Simple, pure, inexpensive, and priceless.

What are your holes full of water? Whatever they are, keep going back to those wells.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.