One, One, One

One of my friends dropped a pretty fun wisdom bomb on me yesterday. As we discussed the piece titled "Is this the year?" he shared a concept that stuck with me. He calls it the "one, one, one." Each year, he'll discern what he wants to focus on in the year to come. Focusing on too many things is never productive, so this is where his concept comes to life. He only focuses on:

• One new skill

• One new habit

• One new hobby

No more, no less.

First, the skill. Find a skill you don't yet possess, and endeavor to develop it through the year. It could be a skill related to your work, your desired work, or even something personal. Determine what steps need to be taken to progress. It doesn't matter how good you get, but rather focus on the act of moving forward.....period. If you start at 0% and end the year at 50%, that's still a win. It's about the journey, not the destination.

Next, habit. Figure out what habit would improve your life, then commit to injecting the necessary discipline, consistency, and willpower to manufacture a sustainable habit. This is more about grit and determination than knowledge, skill, or insight. The goal is that by the time the year is over, it's a locked-in given in your life.

Lastly, hobby. I love this one! Instead of continuing to fall into the exact same interests we've had for years (or decades), pick something foreign and just engage with it. This is actually the hardest one for me, as I rarely justify the time for hobbies.....and get stuck in my old interests. The goal isn't to find your newest love as much as it's about the openness to try. This new hobby might become your next passion, or not. And if not, perhaps it's the springboard to what does become THE thing.

While I didn't necessarily think about this broad one, one, one concept before today, I can see glimmers of it as I reflect on 2024. I developed two tangible skills during the year. The first was writing. Sure, I've been writing for much longer, and this blog existed for 12 months before the start of the year, but 2024 was the year I learned how to write. How to think, communicate, and engage. I also learned the art of teaching businesses how to dig deep into their margins and truly understand their operations at a meaningful level. Again, something I already knew, but 2024 took it to whole new levels.

For habits, I leaned hard into intermittent fasting (7PM-12PM). I've now been doing it for about 18 months, and I'm not going back. It's transformed my life and how I live it, and I'm grateful it's now part of my day-to-day life.

As I previously mentioned, hobbies are a hard one for me. I can't put my finger on any new hobbies in 2024, but I'll be thinking about it as 2025 unfolds.

One, one, one. Does this bring to life any ideas, thoughts, or goals?

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First, Stop the Bleeding

Debt continues to crush our society. Across the board, debt levels continue to rise. Record high credit card debt. Record high auto loan debt. Record high student loan debt. The pendulum has swung toward more debt.....and it's not swinging back. As I see this play out in the lives of families, I'm literally watching this debt erode people's lives from the inside-out. Constant tension. Marriages lost. Stuck in jobs. No saving for the future. Using more debt to keep the train on the track. Modeling bad behavior for kids. Watching the cycle repeat in the next generation.

Millions of families have conceded defeat, willingly subjecting themselves to the turmoil and suffering caused by this destructive cycle. Some, though, desperately want out. They recognize there is a better reality, a different way of living. They know it's possible, but despite best efforts, they can't seem to claw their way to the other side.

I always share three promises with anyone interested in getting out of debt:

1) It's really simple

2) It's really hard

3) It's worth it far more than you could ever imagine

For many, it seems like every time they make progress, regression pushes them back to where they started.....or worse. This is primarily because they failed to execute the initial and crucial step: First, stop the bleeding! Let's use an analogy. You're sitting in a canoe and notice a bunch of water at your feet. Concerned by this development, you start to shovel water out. But no matter how fast or how much you shovel, the water line keeps rising. It's because you didn't plug the hole. You didn't stop the bleeding.

This is why so many people struggle with debt. They try to pay it off without first stopping the bleeding. They keep their credit cards open. They're still willing to sign the dotted lines for more student loan debt. They're open to using debt for their next vehicle. I promise you, if debt is an option, it WILL be used. Even while paying off debt, you'll find yourself sabotaging yourself along the way.

Well, what's the alternative? If we truly want to get on the other side of the debt, we need to resolve to NEVER let debt be an option.....ever. No more car loans. No more student loans. Close the credit cards. Stop the bleeding! Draw a hard line in the sand and be stubbornly unwilling to cross it. Then, and only then, can we move the needle and finally get on the other side of debt like we deserve.

This is a very controversial and counter-cultural idea. I get it. I've been on both sides of this in my own life, and have coached hundreds of people through it in their journeys. Armed with that experience and insight, I promise you that not only is it possible, but it's amazing!

If this speaks to you, perhaps this needs to be a mission in 2025. Maybe someone in your life needs to hear this; encourage them! This is the year! Draw the line, cross it, never go back.

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Is This the Year?

While every day is a great day to make changes, there's something special about New Year's. Closing the book on one chapter, beginning another. A reset of the calendar. New hope. Endless possibilities. It's a time to reflect on what was, and dream about what could be.

Is this the year?

Is this the year you create financial unity with your spouse?

Is this the year you get out of debt?

Is this the year you start that business?

Is this the year you get intentional with budgeting?

Is this the year you get in shape?

Is this the year you lean hard into generosity?

Is this the year you apply for the job that better suits your gifts, passions, and values?

Is this the year you get married or build your family?

Is this the year you remove toxic forces and people from your life?

Is this the year you launch a new product or service?

Is this the year you change your diet?

Is this the year you share your art with the world?

Is this the year? Hit me back and let me know what you'll accomplish in 2025. I hope it's the year. I hope you crush it. I hope it's the best one yet. Happy New Year, everyone!

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Build It, Break It, Fix It, Repeat

I'll start with a question. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you succeeded, then succeeded some more, then continued to succeed, and eventually failed by the weight of your own success? This is a fairly common occurrence in my coaching world. Positive momentum is great, but it doesn't come without a cost. Eventually, inevitably, and unfortunately, success often creates new challenges. I see this a lot in clients who pay off a ton of debt, but then struggle as soon as the debt is paid off. I also see this with the NFL players I've worked with, where it's all good until it becomes too good...then the wheels can fall off.

We recently experienced a version of this at Northern Vessel. We've had a wild year, which was capped by an even wilder December. All of our efforts, marketing, hospitality, and momentum led us up to the Christmas season. Then, last Saturday, we broke. Over a six-hour period, we sold 90 drinks per hour, or 1.5 per minute for the entire six hours. To put it into context, our entire shop is 1,500 square feet and comfortably seats 20 (with no drive-thru). Yet, we sold about 550 drinks in a shortened day. It was great, it was bonkers, and we are grateful. At the same time, though, our team was fried, we ran out of product, and we couldn't offer five-star hospitality that lived up to our expectations. We broke the machine.

The drink line!

There's a saying I like to use: "Build it, break it, fix it, repeat." We built it, then we broke it, and now we must fix it. TJ and I have spent a lot of time the last few days dissecting all the ways in which we broke. Which pieces were our fault? Which pieces were circumstantial? Which pieces can be fixed? Which pieces can be improved upon? How do we do better next time? Everything is on the table.

After all, that is the goal. We desire for there to be a next time. We must earn the right for there to be a next time. We need to fix it, then repeat. If the relentless pursuit of excellence is more than just a catchy slogan, we need to own that. Build it, break it, fix it, repeat.

The same goes for many areas of our lives, including finances! Each time we level up, our success will inevitably create new challenges. We can't rest on our laurels, though. It's imperative that we grow with it. Each time we get better in a specific area of our life, that success will create new challenges (and new opportunities!) that we must confront. The alternative is to be happy with the growth and allow the breakage to stop future growth.....which is a common path for many.

Instead, this is my challenge for you today: Build it, break it, fix it, repeat. Embrace the struggle on the journey. It's not a straight line. It can be messy. Enjoy the journey!

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Today Is a Great Day to Change Your Life

In a few hours, I'll be meeting with a young couple. I've been looking forward to this meeting for a long time. After digging through their information and numbers, I'm even more excited. Today, they get to decide if they want to change their lives. If they do, it will be transformational. If not, it will continue to look like it does today. This isn't a family in need, or experiencing profound pain, or in a weird situation. They are doing well by most people's standards, but want to take this to a different level. A healthier perspective, more unity, better traction, and a confidence they are doing the right things.

The craziest part about changing our lives is that we probably already have the tools we need. It's already right in front of us. We just need to better harness what we're blessed with to get there. This couple, without making a single penny more after today, has the opportunity to change their lives forever. That's an exciting and terrifying thing to consider. It's exciting because real change is at our fingertips, but it's terrifying because it rests on our shoulders to follow through.

We all have that same opportunity today. We can stay where we're at and keep doing the things we always do......or we can draw a line in the sand and do something about it. Today is a great day to change your life. I have one particular thing in my life that I need to follow through. I can transform my life, or I can continue down the path I'm on. I have the tools, but do I have the will? Exciting and terrifying. More on that to come.

How about you? Today is a great day to change your life.

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The Mortality Is Real

One of my former schoolmates from my childhood recently lost her battle with cancer. She was just 39 years old, leaving behind a husband, two small children, and an army of friends. We weren't close, but we did have the opportunity to connect over social media a few times over the last handful of years.

Over the past 48 hours, I've realized how much this has impacted me. We often live our day-to-day lives with the general assumption we have a long time remaining. We picture ourselves as old, wrinkly, and frail. We treat our days, weeks, and months as if there will be countless more to follow.

Our mortality is real, though. We don't know how much more time we have left. Our days are numbered, whether few or many, short or long. If that's true, why do we spend so much time obsessing about money, stuff, and status?

I once heard something that stuck with me. An old man, worth tens of millions of dollars, was reflecting on his life and his mortality. He said he would give up everything (all his money, stuff, and status) to be 40 again. Unfortunately, he can't. There are no DeLoreans for us to jump into. However, what if you're 40 today? Or 50? Or 30? Or even 20? Based on this rich man's perspective, what you have is more valuable than tens of millions of dollars. It's worth more than all the money, stuff, and status one could have. The same money, stuff, and status you're spending your days, weeks, and months trying to attain. Let that sink in.

The mortality is real, man. I feel so heartbroken for my friend's family. They lost a good one in her. But I don't think her story will be in vain. I truly believe it will inspire thousands of people to live with more meaning and purpose. Her impact will ripple for decades to come. Perhaps this blog post can be a small springboard to share that message.

I don't know if you needed to hear this today, I sure did. Have a meaningful, awesome day.

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Focusing On the Right Keywords

I've received a bunch of feedback from yesterday's post about Cole's road-less-traveled approach to life and work, and how he exchanged security for meaning. Many found it encouraging, some believe my ideas are far-fetched and inaccessible to most, and some simply lashed out in anger. But two trusted friends sent me similar thoughtful responses that are worth digesting. In short, their responses followed one clear and specific idea: traditional jobs can provide meaning, too.

I'm often accused of swinging the pendulum too far in favor of self-employment and business ownership, but that's never my intent. Rather, I try to focus on keywords. Did you spot the keyword in yesterday's post? First, I'll tell you all the NON-keywords:

• It wasn't "security"

• It wasn't "steady"

• It wasn't "good office job"

• It wasn't "responsible job"

• It wasn't "safe"

There's nothing inherently wrong with any of those things. Here's the keyword from my post: "miserable." Cole was absolutely miserable in his job. It's not to say that Cole couldn't have found some level of meaning in that work, but him taking that job was a square-peg-round-hole type situation. The only redeeming value of that job was whatever money or security it provided. It was a means to an end. With that said, that exact job might be the dream job for someone else. Someone with a different wiring, different calling, different passion, and different skillset might have crushed that role.

See, it's never about chasing insecurity, counter-culturalism, irresponsibility, or controversial path. It's about chasing meaning. It's about understanding ourselves enough to know what work matters to us, and what work doesn't. For as much as I'm impressed by Cole's work, it sounds miserable if I put myself in his shoes. I would never want to do what he does, as it doesn't align with my wiring, calling, passion, or skillset. Vice versa, while I thrive in my work, it would be Cole's worst nightmare if he had to walk in my shoes.

I'm a HUGE fan of traditional jobs......if they align with that person's wiring, values, and objectives. It's not my job to tell people what work to pursue or not pursue. Rather, it's my job to help people find their ideal work, then aggressively pursue it. I know people who have worked the same traditional job for two decades and find a ton of meaning in it. Similarly, I know people who have bucked normal, chased entrepreneurship or self-employment, and are utterly miserable. The right answer is whatever is right for you. The wrong answer is whatever is wrong for you.

I spent 15 years in corporate America, and it was fulfilling for me. I could have absolutely stuck with that path for the rest of my career and had an amazingly fulfilling and meaningful journey. I recently ran into a bunch of my former colleagues, and many of them are living the most beautiful and meaningful lives.

I appreciate my friends for calling me out when it seems like I'm unintentionally bending one way on this. Never my intent. However, I will forever violently bend all the way in the favor of meaning. Always seek it, and never let others tell you where you should find it.

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Ode To Insecurity

Today's post is about Cole Netten, my Meaning Over Money partner. My relationship with Cole and his wife Kate began in their later college years, as they were about ready to graduate, get married, and join the working world. Upon graduation, Kate began her teaching career, and Cole found a pretty good office job. It wasn't the job of his dreams, but it was safe, steady, and provided security for his new family. It was a responsible job.

Just days into his new job, I invited Cole to lunch since we were now working in the same building. When he showed up, he looked like a shell of his former self. It was still Cole, but yet it wasn't. His zest for life seemed missing. His go-with-the-flow nature was replaced with angst. He looked absolutely miserable!

Within a matter of weeks, Cole impulsively quit his job and told Kate about this decision AFTER he did it. Yikes! What in the world was he thinking!?!? He landed a solid job right out of college! This job would have provided a nice income for them. It would have helped them grind out their debt. It would have allowed them a higher standard of living. It most certainly would have felt more secure. Yet, Cole instinctively lit a match and burned it down.

Fast forward several years, and Cole and Kate still don't have security. Their standard of living isn't something to envy. Their financial life is anything but steady or predictable. While all that may be true, there's something else I need to add: They live a truly blessed life. Cole's career as a filmmaker is just as choppy and uncertain as it's ever been. Kate primarily stays home with their THREE kids, from newborn to four. In my opinion, their marriage is something worth mimicking. They are truly a special couple. But "secure" isn't on their scorecard of life.

A few days ago, Amazon Prime released a new documentary titled ChiefsAholic, a film about a Kansas City Chiefs Superfan who was secretly living a double life as a serial bank robber. Cole helped make this movie!

Add this to the ridiculous list of projects he's done:

• Shooting feature segments for College Gameday.

• Manning Taylor Swift watch in the underbelly of Arrowhead Stadium for ESPN.

• Doing commercial work for prominent regional and national companies.

• An accomplished drone pilot.

• Shooting and grip work for feature Hollywood films and documentaries.

• Shooting post-game press conferences in the Kansas City Chiefs locker room.

• Shooting weddings for NFL superstars.

Oh yeah, and he's barely 30-years-old. He's done all this in less than a decade. What in the heck is he going to do in the next 10, 20, or 30 years? All because he turned his back on a "good" job. A "secure" job. A "responsible" job.

I'm so freaking proud of this guy. Not so much for what he's accomplished, but for the road-less-traveled example he's setting for hundreds or thousands of people around him. Meaning over money. Purpose over security. It's one thing to say it, but another to live it. He and Kate live it.

Take from this what you will. Oh yeah, and go watch ChiefsAholic on Amazon Prime!

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Now What?

It's the middle of the night. I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep. My brain won't turn off. All I can think about are the three most wonderful days celebrating Christmas our family just experienced. It wasn't perfect, but man, it was good. And now it's over. All the anticipation, all the hype, all the fun…..and it's over. Now what?

This can be a depressing and loaded question. Science shows that the anticipation for a particular event is as fulfilling and enriching as the event itself. That's why we often experience hangovers when the event is done. A mourning. A grieving. A lonely feeling. That's what I'm experiencing as I'm lying here awake. Now what?

That question oddly makes me smile. While I'll inevitably be exhausted today, and sad Christmas is over, I have the honor of returning to some pretty amazing work. I have a few client meetings teed up where I'll have the opportunity to celebrate their awesome work in 2024 while preparing what's to come. I have a strategic planning meeting with TJ to set the table for Northern Vessel's next year. I have some key projects for my dry ice client that are coming to a head. I'm meeting with a few struggling families that just need a hand-up. I'm speaking in front of an excited and engaging audience. 

I'm fortunate. Not everyone has this answer to the "Now what?" question. Most people will, unfortunately, have a different type of answer. Statistics show that roughly 7 in 10 Americans will have a pit-in-the-stomach feeling when confronted with this question. That's so sad, but I get it. I've been there, too! If that's you, I challenge you to consider making a shift in the new year. You deserve better. You deserve a life that doesn't involve inevitable pain on the backside of fun events. You deserve joy before the event, during the event, AND after the event. 

Maybe that's the gift you need to give yourself. It does exist. It is an option. It's right there waiting for you. Please don't let fear hold you back. Now what? Hopefully something awesome!

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A Christmas Fortune

We had a beautiful Christmas Eve yesterday. As always, it included an unsuccessful attempt at a decent family photo:

After church service, we enjoyed our traditional Christmas Eve Chinese dinner. When the bill came, four fortune cookies sat atop the little black receipt sleeve. The boys quickly tore into theirs. Finn's was about the virtue of being a lifelong learner, and Pax's talked about how his life was about to turn around (whatever that means for an 8-year-old). Then, I opened mine: "Happiness isn't in having what you want but rather in wanting what you have."

Contentment. For many, today is about getting more and having more. Millions of Americans will inventory all the cool gadgets and gizmos they now possess. Countless people will record and publish "Christmas haul" videos on YouTube, showcasing their new swag. Seriously, search for "Christmas haul" on YouTube.

I fall more into the fortune cookie's camp. Happiness isn't having what I want. If that were true, I'd be running a never-ending race. Every time I get what I want, instead of being happy, I'd just want something else.

On the flip side, I want what I have. I'm grateful for what I have. I cherish my life and all that I'm blessed with. While it's easy to point our eyes outward at what everyone else has, I much prefer to look inward and simply be grateful.....period.

Choose contentment. Remember what's most important. Be grateful for all you have. Your health, your family, a warm place to live, food on the table, a job that provides, the freedom to live the life we choose. Oh yeah, I'm grateful for my God as well. If you're a believer, I hope that's also at the center of your day.

Merry Christmas, all!

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You’re Still An Author

Do you aspire to write a book one day? If so, that's awesome; I hope you do it. If not, that's totally cool. Regardless of how you answered that question, you're still an author, though.

Each day, when you wake up, you're the author of your journey. Every decision you make, every encounter you have, every challenge you face, and every win you celebrate each represent an excerpt in the story you're writing.

It's not a coincidence I'm writing about this topic today, on Christmas Eve. These types of days, the more notable events in our calendar, offer a particularly juicy opportunity for our authorship. These are the moments when we have ripe opportunities to author beautiful memories for us and our children. Every day is an opportunity to create memories, but not all days are created equal. Today might be one of those special opportunity days for your family. I know it is for mine.

Later, we'll attend Christmas Eve service at our church, which we've attended yearly for the last 14 years. Then, after unsuccessfully trying to take a family photo at our church's homemade photo booth, we'll share a meal together at a local Chinese restaurant. Again, this is a tradition spanning more than a decade. Our kids look forward to it each year, and it often involves reminiscing about memories of past Christmas Eve Chinese dining experiences. It's woven into the fabric of our family's holiday celebration.

We'll end the night with a reading from Sarah's 40-year-old edition of The Night Before Christmas, a book she's possessed since she was a baby. Sarah's the narrator, and she reads it exactly how her late father read it to her when she was a little girl. It's one of the highlights of her year.

I'll be the first to admit I whiff on things. I miss opportunities. I regret the times I don't take advantage of the moment. However, I can't (and you can't) let the misses inhibit our ability to seize the next moment. It doesn't matter how many times I miss; I'm still going to shoot my shot the next time the ball is in my hands. Despite a lot of heavy stuff this holiday season, we've also managed to author a ton of ridiculously cool memories.

You're an author, whether you like it or not. But through the lens of how I just explained it, I hope you not only like it, but absolutely love it! This is your time to shine. Yes, you'll screw up. Sure, you'll whiff on moments. But don't let that deter you from crushing the next one. So, get that pen out. It's time to write that next chapter in your (and your children's) story.

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone!

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But What Inputs?

I appreciate the flood of comments I've received from yesterday's post. If you missed it, I discussed the importance of focusing more on the inputs than the outputs. Instead of dwelling on the outcome, we should fix our attention to our decisions and contributions that go into xyz endeavors. I used the example of Northern Vessel's recent record-setting day. While the numbers from that day (outputs) were amazing, we chose to reflect on the inputs that ultimately made it happen.

Several of you asked for a real-life example of inputs vs. outputs that would apply to the vast majority of readers. Your wish is my command! I have a great example to share, and I hope it lands well.

As you probably know, I love investing. It's been a passion of mine since I was 16 years old. To summarize, I'm a big believer in investing in the entirety of the U.S. stock market, paying as few fees as possible, and remaining extremely patient. Doing so has a 154-year track record of success (9.2% per year over 154 years and 10.4% per year for the last 100 years).

All that said, it's a mess! By "9.2% per year," that doesn't mean the market returns 9.2% each and every year. That's the long-term compounded average. The road to get there is rough! To illustrate that, guess how many years in the history of the stock market have provided a return in the 8%-10% range...........

............three years. Only three times out of 154 years (1912, 1916, and 1993) have resulted somewhere in the 8%-10% range—the rest fall on either side of that. The market has done as well as +53% (1933) and as bad as -40% (1931). Over a five-year span, the market has done as well as +23% per year and as bad as -11.5% per year. Again, it's a mess!

As such, we would do ourselves a tremendous disservice if all we did was focus on the outputs. If we judged ourselves on how our investment portfolio played out in any given year, it was be an emotional rollercoaster. One year, you'd feel like a genius, and the next a total failure. That's the consequence of focusing too much on the outputs.

Instead, we should focus on the inputs. Here are some examples:

• Am I investing in the right type of funds? I'm a huge fan of the S&P 500 or total U.S. stock market indexes.

• Am I investing with as few fees as possible? Most of my clients pay 0.04% or less (vs. most people paying 1.5%-2.0%).

• Am I consistently contributing? It doesn't matter what the stock market does if you're not contributing.

• Am I being patient? Selling or making knee-jerk adjustments is destructive.

If you have the right answer for each of the questions above, it doesn't actually matter what your portfolio does this year or any other year. You're focusing on the inputs, not the outputs. When we do that, the outputs will take care of themselves.....eventually.

You won't beat yourself up. You won't lose sleep. You won't obsess about volatility. You'll just live your meaningful life.

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It’s the Inputs, Man!

In late 2019, after stepping away from one career and into another, Sarah and I made another drastic life decision. We elected to split our time between Iowa and Thailand. We would bounce back and forth in three-month increments. One of the primary barriers to this plan was our house. What would we do about lawn care and snow removal? What if we had water issues in the basement? Would it be secure if left unattended for months at a time? And since we had just taken a 90% pay cut, a little more liquidity sure would come in handy. Therefore, the plan was clear. Sell the house, set the cash aside, and rent a small townhome that would suffice for the months we were back in Iowa.

We sold our house in December 2019 and excitedly awaited our inaugural family trip to Asia. Everything was coming together! Then, just a few months later, COVID struck, the world shut down, and all our plans went out the window. Instead of experiencing Thailand with our three-year-old boys, we were cooped up in a tiny townhome with those same three-year-old boys. It all blew up in our face!

If I used the outputs to determine how we did, it would clearly indicate we failed. We could have been in a cool house that we owned but, ended up in a tiny rental townhome. We lost! However, that's not how I look at life. The outputs (or outcomes) we experience in life are subject to all sorts of circumstances and externalities. If we always judge ourselves by the outputs, we might lose sight of the truth.

On the flip side, I'm a big believer in focusing on the inputs. If we do the right things for the right reasons, and stay consistent with it, the outputs will eventually reveal that. When we dwell on the inputs, unwanted outputs don't necessarily have to derail us. In the case of the house, we absolutely made the right decision. We did the right thing despite the outcome.

Yesterday was the single greatest day in the history of Northern Vessel. Everything came together, and we experienced the most wonderful outputs. It was stunning to watch, and we couldn't have been more excited. However, it really wasn't about the output. Instead of dwelling on the numbers, we reflected on all the inputs that culminated in yesterday's output:

• Consistently solid drinks that people can rely on.

• An obsessive focus on hospitality, with a "how can we make this better?" mindset.

• An iterative process to build increasingly efficient operations that allow for large daily and weekly volumes when the moments arise.

• Continuous assessment of our product offerings to provide our customers with the products they desire.

• Intentionality on our social media presence to build awareness and engagement.

So, when yesterday happened, we were beyond grateful for the output. However, the output in and of itself meant nothing. Rather, it's a tangible signal that our obsessive focus on the inputs is succeeding.

Focus on inputs. Dwell on inputs. Obsess about inputs. The outputs will be the outputs (good and bad), but eventually, the truth will prevail. Obsess about your inputs today…..in your money, in your career, in your ministry, in your relationships, and everywhere else. Always the inputs.

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The Unlikeliest of Inspiration

Since yesterday was the last school day before Christmas break, the boys stayed up later than usual. When it was finally time to go to bed, everyone was exhausted. Bedtime was a bit more expedited. Instead of each of us praying like most nights, I asked Finn to give one extra good prayer for all of us. He knocked it out of the park! Something he said caught my attention, though. He prayed for the people who were "poor and don't have homes" and asked God to give them blankets to stay warm in the cold.

After the tuck-ins finished and Sarah left the room, I asked him about that. He said he's been thinking about homeless people and is scared they won't be safe. I asked him if he’s interested in going to Target, filling up our car with blankets, and taking them to some friends who could deliver them to some of the homeless people in our community. He beamed with excitement. I guess I know what we'll be doing on our first day of Christmas break.

Then, he added something else. "Do you know the Mickey Christmas Carol movie? That's what made me interested in helping people who are poor and don't have homes. They talked about it on there, and I was really interested. Giving stuff to people for free and helping them." First, listening to this little boy try to say the word "interested" is pretty cute. Second, wow! How awesome is that!?!?

I talk to the boys about generosity all the time, but for whatever reason, Finn's recent viewing of Mickey's Christmas Carol connected some new dots for him. He gained some awareness. He ached for hurting people. He was inspired to act. Sometimes, inspiration comes from the most unlikely of sources.

I'm really excited for Finn to explore generosity in this way, and I'm extremely proud of him for taking this step. Who knows where it will lead, but it will hopefully be the next step in his journey of generosity.

Keep connecting dots. Connect your own dots. Help your kids connect theirs. Inspire others to connect theirs. You never know when a trigger moment may occur. Sometimes, inspiration comes from the most unlikely of sources.

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Corralling the Impulses

One of my friends, frustrated with his continual debt, reached out and asked a practical question: "How do you stop overspending?" Despite a fantastic income, he and his wife have ebbed and flowed in and out of credit card debt for nearly two decades. They are frustrated. They are tired. They are stressed.

"Just stop overspending." See, simple! But simple doesn't mean easy. We humans have some flawed wiring that makes it difficult to not overspend, and our modern-day culture encourages negligent behavior.

Some will read this post and want to slam their head against the wall repeatedly. Others will deeply relate. That's how polarizing this topic is. It's common sense not to overspend, but at the same time, our impulses lead us down that road.

At the risk of being nicknamed Captain Obvious, I'm going to share a few simple steps that can make a tremendous difference in our battle with overspending. Here we go!

1) Remove debt as an option. If debt is an option, be it credit cards, car loans, or any other types of consumer debt, we WILL use it.....eventually. We can say no 1,000 times, but that 1,001st time, our desires will get the best of us. I'm a huge advocate for structuring our life so that debt isn't even an option. Yes, I'm suggesting that people live without credit cards.

2) Have a plan. It's inevitable that our impulses will kick in. Again, we're human. One of the best ways to combat those impulses is to have a plan.....and stick to it. With money, that looks like a budget. A budget is just a vomit-inducing word that means we pre-decide where our money will go this month. It doesn't mean we'll spend less, but rather we'll spend what we said we will spend. We can budget $500 on dining out, which means we can (and should!) spend $500 on dining out, but we're not allowed to spend more than $500 on dining out. Following the plan keeps us accountable to our past selves who made the plan.

3) Understand the double-edged sword. Can we all agree that spending money feels good? That new pair of shoes. A state-of-the-art phone. A nice steak dinner. It can be euphoric! However, when we're in the moment of soaking up every ounce of that post-spend dopamine, we're not thinking about the other side of the equation: the stress, tension, guilt, and turmoil we'll soon endure from yet another act of overspending. It feels good in the moment, but the longer-term financial strain we put ourselves through more than negates the upside.

4) Know your why. While that new iPhone is pretty sweet, and will most certainly add value to your life, does it align or conflict with your bigger goals? If we can clearly define what your objectives are, it helps us make better decisions that align with those goals.

We deserve better than to live a stressful, tension-filled, guilt-ridden financial life. Find simple ways to regain control and corral your impulses. Future you will thank you for your service.

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The Relentless Pursuit of Excellence

When TJ asked me to partner with him in the re-launch of Northern Vessel, I asked him about his goals. He had one goal, which was as simple as it was audacious: "I want to create the single best coffee shop in America." Uh, ok. Pretty audacious for someone who had failed in his first few iterations of the company. When I asked him how this would happen, he also had straightforward answers:

• We will practice unreasonable hospitality.

• We will attempt to turn the coffee industry on its head and shift the way people experience coffee.

Again, TJ is audacious......borderline crazy. Over the thousands of conversations TJ and I have shared, these visions never get lost in the shuffle. They are a constant elephant in the room, perpetually reminding us why we do what we do. His standards are so high. He expects a lot from his team and partners, and even more from himself. He lives and breathes his dream. He's relentless!

Earlier this year, we spent weeks trying to put into words the way we approach our business. Ultimately, after many iterations, the words in front of us clicked: The relentless pursuit of excellence and the will to win. Notice how it's not about coffee, but excellence.....period. This message seemed to resonate with everyone we shared it with. Doctors, entrepreneurs, photographers, barbers, teachers, social media influencers. We were surrounded by an army of people who demand excellence, not only from themselves, but also from those who have the privilege of serving them.

Even the smallest nuances of our business get put under the microscope. Is that drink excellently prepared? Did we show joy to the customer who just walked in the door? Is the vibe of the shop on point? Are those the best lids for sipping a beverage? Is that Instagram post hitting the right mark? Does the team feel valued and empowered today? Did we show enough gratitude to those who step foot into our little world? Everything is on the table for critique. Good isn't good enough. It's the relentless pursuit of excellence in the big things and in the small things.

We aren't there yet. We aren't perfect. We still make mistakes. We're still learning. We still have a long ways to go. It's a never-ending journey, but a journey nonetheless.

We receive tons of feedback and reviews, and we appreciate all of it. Yesterday, though, we received a doozy on Google. It's creative, direct, and funny. It also gets to the heart of TJ's original vision. Here it is in its entirety:

"If you think Disney World is the happiest place on earth, then you clearly haven't been to Northern Vessel for a Cold Brew!

Better customer service than the most prestigious Michelin star restaurant, NV does it right. The coffee is expertly crafted, the employees and I do mean EVERY SINGLE EMPLOYEE, smiles and interacts in a way that makes you want to come back over and over again. Truly the brightest spot of most of my mornings.

I know what you're thinking, is this place stuffy and full of coffee snobbery; no sir. It's a super chill environment where people bask in the huge windows (when a KIA hasn't parked there, iykyk) and chat with their friends, you'll see business professionals sitting at the shared workspace typing away, and young families that pop in and out for their much needed caffeine break.

Feeling peckish? Worried that all they have to eat is some crusty vegan/gluten-free/taste free baked treat that looks and tastes like sidewalk chalk that was made in some random hipsters home kitchen? Have no fear! They serve up the best donuts from an actual donut shop, no random cat hair in your scone here, and I highly recommend the cherry cake donut, it's the best (although I do wish they had a double chocolate donut as those are my actual favorite).

All this to say if you want a great coffee, a good doughnut, and incredible customer service you can't go wrong at Northern Vessel, otherwise I hear there's new chain coffee shop opening up nearby where you can actually taste mediocrity and tears of the people that are unfortunate enough to darken its doors…"

Whatever it is you're doing today, be relentless. Keep pushing forward. Demand excellence in yourself. Know you'll fall short, then keep going. Enjoy the journey.

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The Creep Is Real

Today, I'm going to share the story of a friend. It's about his unique situation, but the same story plays out in millions of homes. It's the story of lifestyle creep. Lifestyle creep is a term that gets thrown around a lot, but today, I will give you a real-world example to shine a light on how destructive it can be. I will use round numbers for easier digestion.

Years ago, my friend and his wife combined for about $60,000 of annual income. It wasn't an abundant amount of money, but it was more than enough. They saved a bit for retirement through their work and had enough left to save about $500/month.

A few years later, the husband received a $20,000 promotion, and their $60,000 income was up to about $85,000 (including wife's pay raises). During that time, they moved into a better apartment and she purchased a new vehicle. They continued to save a bit for retirement and had enough left to save a few hundred dollars per month.

One year later, the wife received a $15,000 promotion, and their $85,000 income quickly increased to $100,000. He purchased a new car, and they joined a local country club. They continued to save a bit for retirement and had enough left to save about $500/month.

Fast forward about three years, and the husband took a new job that paid $30,000 more than the previous one. Combined with the wife's annual pay raises, and their combined income increased from $100,000 to approximately $140,000. They purchased a house and replaced both cars with nicer models. They continued to save a bit for retirement and had enough left to save about $500/month.

A handful of years later, they both moved up in their jobs and their income rose dramatically. In just those few years, their combined income increased from $140,000 to $230,000. They purchased a bigger house and began spending larger amounts of money on miscellaneous lifestyle categories (dining out, travel, clothes, etc.). They continued to save a bit for retirement and barely had enough to save anything each month.

That's when they called me. To the outside world, they were the definition of success. A large house, nice cars, fancy vacations, constant dining out. They had it made!!! Their reality, however, was much different. They continually stressed about money, their marriage was teetering (in part due to financial tensions), debt was building, they were way behind on retirement saving, they gave virtually nothing away, and they both hated their jobs. In other words, they were living the American Dream, er, Nightmare.

Can you relate? I'm sure many of you can, as this is a normal reality playing out in so many homes. This couple was earning nearly 4x of what they used to make earlier in their marriage, yet financial stress reached an all-time high. This is the destructive power of lifestyle creep. This is what happens when we pursue a life of more. This is what happens when we lose perspective.

Good news! It doesn't have to be this way. We can opt out of the American Nightmare. We can say no. We can take the path less traveled. I've been to the other side and am back to report it's amazing. Come join me!

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Keep Doing Good

Our nation was hit with another senseless school shooting yesterday. It was the latest in a string of tragic events that have ripped countless families apart. Day after day, bad things keep happening. Do you ever wake up some days and ask yourself why all this keeps happening?

There's a real helplessness that can fall onto our psyche as tragedy after tragedy impacts our lives and the lives around us. A helplessness and hopelessness. There's no shortage of terrible things all around us. Just in the past few weeks, I've walked alongside several families dealing with unspeakable loss.

While I can't undo or directly impact many of these tragedies happening around me, I have a role to play......and you do, too! In a world inundated with pain, suffering, and evil, we have an opportunity and responsibility in front of each of us: keep doing good.

Each day, we can choose to add to the pain, sit on our hands and be complacent, or do good. Each day is a new choice. Do I want to add to people's suffering, sit idly, or keep doing good?

This world needs all the good it can get. People need all the good they can get. That's my call to action today, short and sweet. Keep doing good. Each day, choose to do good. We can't necessarily prevent some of these painful events from unfolding, but we do have the collective power to drive more good into the world than bad can take away.

Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part. Maybe it's impossible to make up for all the terror we're experiencing. Maybe it is, in fact, hopeless. However, I'm just crazy enough to believe that we do have influence. We do have an opportunity. We do have responsibility. I think each of us wields far more influence on this world than we know. I think today is a day to fight back with good. Keep doing good. Make an intentional choice each and every day. Let's push back on evil.

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Giving > Getting

We had Christmas at my parents’ house yesterday. Needless to say, the boys were beyond excited to celebrate Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa. And as with all little kids, they were especially excited for presents. If they had their choice, we would have set our alarms for 4AM to get the show on the road…..we fortunately held them off until 8:30.

When it was finally time to open the gifts, something unexpected happened. Instead of the boys clamoring for their own gifts, they insisted Grandma and Grandpa open the gifts the boys picked out for them. I jumped in and told them we don’t have to do that, but they weren’t having it. They were far more excited to give than to receive, which shocked me. They joyfully watched as each grandparent opened each gift, anticipating their every reaction.

It was absolutely wild watching eight-year-old kids intentionally and excitedly prioritize giving over getting. I knew how excited they were to receive, but had no idea they were even more excited to give. Amazing!! It absolutely made my day. They enjoyed giving the gifts to their grandparents, and enjoyed opening the gifts given to them…..then spent the rest of the day playing with their new toys and wearing their new clothes.

Giving is always greater than getting, regardless of age or context. It’s a universal truth to life, but a truth not enough people understand. I don’t know if my kids fully understand it (yet), but yesterday was a beautiful and promising sign.

Here’s my math equation of the day: giving > getting.

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Bang For Your Buck

"You don't need that!" claims the misers in our life. For as much as we like to characterize our society as materialistic and financially irresponsible, there's another undercurrent at play. Many people around us believe in the don't-buy-it-if-you-don't-need-it way of life. Some call them cheapskates. They trade in the currency of guilt. They are everywhere!

Instead of asking if we need something, I ask a different question. Will it add value to my life? If the answer is yes, then the follow-up question: Will it add more value to my life than it will cost? If the answer is yes, we should consider purchasing it.

For the first time in many years, I bought myself several items on Black Friday. I had a bunch of personal spending money saved in my CashApp account, so I decided to splurge on some fun impulsive purchases.

For context, I'm a big believer that each spouse in a marriage should get some money each month solely for their personal enjoyment. No questions, no criticisms, no negotiation. Just personal fun for that person. Sarah and I started doing this during our very first month of marriage, and I recommend other couples do it as well. Sarah is known for depleting all her monthly spending money by the 6th of the month. My habits are a bit different. I don't spend a lot month-to-month, so my personal spending account often builds over time.

Back to Black Friday. Since I had a bunch of personal spending saved up, I was ready to pull the trigger on a few fun items. One of them was an item I had been interested in for a while: A coffee mug warmer. I don't just like my coffee hot; I like it McDonalds lawsuit hot. I want to risk my personal safety with every sip. Unfortunately, coffee gets cold quickly. Enter the coffee mug warmer. It's a simple little device - think of it as a fancy coaster - that keeps your beverage hot for hours. Now, while I'm sitting at my desk, I always have a piping hot coffee sitting next to me. Brilliant!

Better yet, this fun little purchase cost me only $30. Huge bargain! Was it a need? No. Did it add value to my life? Absolutely! Did it add more than $30 of value. You bet it did!!! Thus, it was an amazing purchase.

Don't let guilt-trippers get you down. Don't fall into the "you don't need it" trap. Don't rob yourself of adding value to your life simply because there's something "more responsible" to do than buy a fun item. It's not about having a bigger financial scorecard in life.....it's about having a better life. And it turns out my $30 mug warmer helps provide me a better life! I'll take that little win.

What about you? What are some sub-$50 purchases that added a bunch of value to your life? I'd love to hear your examples!

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