A Knock On the Door

Happy Super Bowl Sunday! While my Bears have only been part of it two times in my 40+ years of life, today is always one of my favorite days of the year. There's something special about the energy of Super Bowl Sunday.

It's so easy to look at these grown men and think to ourselves, "They're just doing it for the money." Sure, the money is ridiculous. These athletes make more money in a single year than many people will make over their entire careers. But ultimately, I sincerely don't believe it's about the money. The money is a nice (very nice!) perk, but it's about something so much bigger, and Super Bowl Sunday is one of those days where it shines through so clearly. The euphoria of victory and the agony of defeat. You can't tell me meaning isn't at play.

On a related note, I'm obsessed with the knock on the door. Oh, you don't know about the door knocking?!?! Check out this VIDEO. Each year, when it's time to announce the inductees to the NFL Hall of Fame, Hall of Fame CEO David Baker knocks on the door of each recipient to personally welcome them into the HOF family. These videos choke me up every single time. The video I linked above is a compilation of door knocks, and it makes me melt every time. It's worth four minutes of your day!

There's nothing like seeing grown men who have achieved fame and fortune beyond anything they probably ever dreamed turn into a puddle at the sound of a simple knock. Pure joy. Pure satisfaction. Pure meaning.

Money can buy so much in life, but it can't buy meaning. It can't satiate us. It can't fill our tanks. It can buy almost anything, but it can't buy the few things we crave the most. So while I'm enjoying the game tonight, watching these players give everything they have, while also thinking about David Baker's door knocks, it will be yet another reminder that meaning always transcends money.

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What’s the Worst That Could Happen?

One of my friends has a unique business idea. Another friend is interested in starting a non-profit. A third friend wants to write a book. A fourth desires to publish music. All four are stuck, paralyzed with fear. Fear of what? Failure. All four are scared of falling flat on their face, getting embarrassed, or feeling like losers. Thus, there's a very real chance they perpetually hold onto their ideas and eventually take them to their graves.

Here's a question I posed to each of them: "What's the worst that could happen?" You know, the absolute worst-case, total destruction, end-of-the-world scenario. Dream big, but in the form of nightmares. Visualize how terrible and life-ending these what-if situations could be.

All four disappointed me. When pressed to provide the most atrocious endings possible, all they could muster was some version of "My pride would be hurt, and I'd have to do something different."

In actuality, there's no real long-lasting consequence for failure other than ego, pride, and self-esteem. If that's true, why not just go for it? Why carry the regret of not doing something if there's so little downside? Why throw away the possibility of something great simply because there's a chance for something marginally bad to happen?

I come from the world of risk and reward. Understanding what could happen if things go right or when things go wrong, then making the best go/no-go decision with the information available. When it comes to our dreams, we're so quick to throw away the proverbial million-dollar reward because we're scared of the hundred-dollar risk.

So what if my friend's business fails. At least he'll know he gave it his best shot.

So what if my friend's non-profit doesn't survive. At least he'll have made an impact on people's lives.

So what if my friend's book sucks. At least she'll have worked through the process, possibly preparing her for the next opportunity.

So what if nobody listens to my friend's music. At least he will know he created something nobody can ever take away.

The upside in each of these is so high, but the downside so limited.

I know I'm going to fail at many things this year, some of them publicly. It will be embarrassing. It will bruise my ego. It will damage my pride. It might even cost me some money. But at least I'll know. At least I'll go to bed at night knowing I gave it my best shot. The worst-case scenarios are pretty lame. But the upside? Oh, the upside is so freaking cool!

If you're ever in doubt, play out the worst-case scenario. Dream big, but in nightmares. Challenge yourself to pinpoint just how bad it could get. My guess is it's not nearly as bad as you think, and if so, why not just go for it?

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(Unknowingly) Walking Into the Abyss

"How do people afford houses in this crazy market? Do this many people really make that much money?" This is a question I received from a friend last night, courtesy of her mom, Leslie. Thanks, Leslie, for this fantastic topic!

In short, people can't afford them, and no, they don't make that much money. Some can, and some do, but not most. In my work with hundreds of families and watching the data closely, a few other factors are at play.

First, I'll start with what a healthy home ownership situation looks like. Ideally, a family's house payment would cost less than 25% of their take-home income. When that happens, there's enough margin to pay for needs, enjoy some wants, give, save, and invest for the future. There's a balance in the force.

However, with the combination of higher interest rates and increased prices, today's housing market has posed a different dynamic for families. Instead of house payments absorbing 25% of take-home incomes, people are commonly buying houses with corresponding payments at 40%-60% of their take-home income.

When this happens, something has to give. Families aren't going to stop eating food. And they aren't going to completely stop buying wants. Typically, giving is the first thing to go. Sorry, gotta take care of me first! Next, retirement investing gets kicked down the road. After all, retirement isn't for a looooong time....it will have to wait. Then finally, saving gets pulled back. We'll address those future needs when the time comes.

This approach works.....for a while. Eventually, though, other things pop up. The car has issues. The kid breaks an arm. The A/C blows up. The dog eats a screwdriver. But there's not much margin in the budget and little-to-no savings for these types of situations. Out comes the credit card. Then it happens again a few months later. Then again in six months. Every so often, the credit card absorbs the extra costs. Then it's time to buy a new vehicle and there's no money saved. A new car payment!

But people can't just perpetually use debt to keep the train on the tracks, right? Well, yes and no. Eventually, the credit cards feel too heavy. That's when a little psychological hack comes into play. We'll get a HELOC on our house to "pay off the debt." The credit card debt has been shifted to the HELOC, which allows us to start using the cards again. And the cycle slowly repeats for decades.

There's no such thing as a free lunch, though. This is where it gets scary. Without knowing it, people are walking into the financial abyss. Baby Boomers and the Silent Generation grew up in an era with retirement pensions. Most knew a reliable retirement income would await them at a certain point in life. This system has drastically shifted, beginning with Gen X. Traditional pensions are much rarer, and most of us are now responsible for funding our own retirement.

As such, millions of Americans are walking into the abyss as we speak. They are busy living their lives, enjoying their lifestyles, and slowly building debt while not building retirement investments, not knowing the future looks very murky. They've already lost, but won't realize it until it's too late.

If I'm honest, these are the saddest situations to be invited into. There's nothing harder to watch than a couple realizing they have unknowingly walked into the abyss all these years, only to just now see the consequences of their unintended reality.

Does this resonate with you? If so, perhaps it's time to shift gears.....fast! Give a gift to your future self; you don't have to walk into the abyss.

To be continued....

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Changing the World By Changing Yours

I just received the best news! An old friend, someone I haven't talked to in several years, contacted me to share a life update. He said that after three years of blood, sweat, and tears, he and his wife paid off their $125,000 of consumer debt (student loans and credit cards). Whoa!

When I asked him how that happened, his answer shocked me. "Remember that one time we were having drinks at _____? Someone asked you about paying off all your debt. I thought to myself, if you could do it, so could I. So I did."

If I could do it, so could he! Yes! I couldn't love that more. This debt had haunted him for nearly two decades.....until that day three years ago when he decided enough was enough. Then, he changed his life forever.

Here's the opportunity on the table for you today. You have an opportunity to change the world by changing yours. Without even knowing, my actions to change my own family's world eventually inspired this other family to change theirs.

People are watching. People see things. They might not listen to your advice, but they can't ignore the fruit of your actions. When you make good decisions (financial or otherwise), and your life improves, it's impossible not to see. This happens with my clients all the time. Their lives start to shift, they live with more freedom and meaning, people around them notice, and a new wave of inspiration strikes and new group of people.

If you want to help others, lead by example. If you want to inspire generosity, practice generosity. If you want to inspire debt-free living, become and stay debt-free. If you want to inspire work that matters, aggressively pursue work that matters.

Whether you see it or not, people are watching. And whether you realize it or not, your actions are moving the needle in other people's lives, for better or worse. What a fun and intense opportunity.....and responsibility.

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Boy, That Escalated Quickly!

In the words of Ron Burgundy, "Boy, that escalated quickly!" Yesterday was one of those days. You know what I'm talking about. The kind of day where you planned one thing, but something totally different happened. The kind of day where everything that could go wrong does go wrong. The kind of day that every time you solve one problem, another replaces it like some twisted game of whack-a-mole. The kind of day where you have problems in areas you didn't even know you had problems. You know, that kind of day!

I typically feel like my work is a juggling act of six distinct endeavors. Each one of them posed its own issues yesterday. It was a tremendously hard day. It wasn't fun at all. I felt like I got chewed up and spit back out. But it sure was rewarding.

This is what often confuses people when I talk about pursuing work that matters. The mere idea of "work that matters" instantly triggers thoughts of rainbows and sunshine. Whenever work is spoken about through the lens of meaning, it conjures up assumptions that it's fun, enjoyable, simple, or easy. The truth is, this couldn't be further from the truth. Pursuing work that matters doesn't mean we're trying to find any of those things.

Meaningful work isn't that. It can be....sometimes....on good days.....well, part of those good days. But at the heart, that's not what it's about. Pursuing work that matters means we're doing something that provides meaning, fulfillment, and purpose to our lives, all while adding value to others, regardless of how fun it is or isn't.

Fun is fleeting. Easy is empty calories. Those aren't the ingredients to work that matters. What's most imporant is the meaning component. Unlike fun and ease, meaning satiates. So while I was completely gassed last night, feeling like I got run over by a snow plow, I was fulfilled, satisfied, and content. Yesterday was exactly what it needed to be, and it turns out, yesterday needed to be anything but fun.

I love what I do more than anything in the world, but not because it's fun. I regularly find myself engaging in the most gut-wrenching conversations of my life, encountering problems I never know if I have the stomach to deal with, all while sabotaging my former life's pursuit of comfort and material wealth. Sarah and I were just talking recently about how much harder life is now than it was six years ago before I left my safe, lucrative, and cushy career. We laughed for a moment, then sighed, before simultaneously acknowledging we wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Another reminder that we've found it......work that matters.

I hope you have a meaningful day today. Not a fun day, a meaningful day. Well, I hope you find some fun along the way as well. We all need a little fun!

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Solving Problems With Problems

One of my friends asked to meet with me. He wanted to get a second opinion about something financial-related. Here's the situation. For the first time in nearly 15 years, his wife's car was paid off. They owned it free and clear and finally got on the other side of the monthly payment cycle now that their $500/month payment is no longer. That's great news! HOWEVER, they have a problem. In the past few months, his wife's car had to be taken into the shop twice. The total cost? $700.

Here was his question to me: "Would it be a good idea to get her a new vehicle?"

"Absolutely not!" I responded.

"Why not? You think we should just keep dumping money into this vehicle?"

"Dumping money? Paying $700 to get your car fixed is $300 less than you would have spent on car payments over the last few months."

"Well, we already bought her a new vehicle. It will definitely be more reliable."

"..........."

Turn out, he didn't want my guidance.....he wanted me to affirm the decision they had already made. In short, freaked out by two vehicle repairs totaling $700, they quickly decided to "fix" the problem by buying a brand-new vehicle. The kicker? Their new payment is $900 per month.

Please allow me to summarize. This family finally gets free from their $500/month car payment cycle, experiences $700 of maintenance expenses, and in their attempt to lower their costs, commit themselves to $900/month for the next 72 months. On top of that, due to their increased financial commitments, they decided his wife needs to go from part-time to full-time at her job. Further, they wonder if they should forego their annual summer vacation to cut costs.

If this sounds crazy to you, good. If this sounds far-fetched to you, you'd be mistaken. This is a very typical sequence of events in our modern culture. My friend isn't alone....far from it. In fact, many people's immediate reaction to this post will be to side with the husband. "He's just making sure his family is safe." "They'll save money in the long run." "They didn't have a choice."

They did solve the small reliability problem, but at what cost? They've largely prevented ongoing vehicle maintenance costs; all they had to give up was their freedom and memories. I'm all for solving problems, but not when it creates bigger problems.

I have maximum empathy for this family. I love them. I care for them. I desire for them to have better. I shared some insights and ideas, and in turn, they said I should share this story on the blog. Tomorrow's post will dive deeper into one of my ideas.

I hope you solve some of your problems this week, but along the way, be sure not to create newer, bigger problems in the process.

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Running Away or Running Toward

I was already contemplating a specific follow-up to my recent post titled Bummer. I still had more to say about this topic, and wanted to make one very clear point. However, my friend Mertz beat me to the punch. He immediately sent me a thoughtful response and asked the very profound question I was hoping to address: Is it possible to like/love your job and still celebrate Fridays?

To summarize, statistics (and my own experience) show that 7 out of 10 Americans dislike or hate their job. A never-ending state that's straddled somewhere between tolerance and misery. My general point is that we should create a life for ourselves that doesn't require us to celebrate Fridays and dread Mondays.

But what about Mertz's question? Can't we have both? Can't we like/love our work and still celebrate Fridays? I couldn't love this question more! For me, I think it comes down to the answer to the next question: Are you running away or running toward?

In other words, do we celebrate Fridays because we're trying to find reprieve from the misery, or do we celebrate Fridays because we're excited for what's to come? It may seem like splitting hairs, but I think it's a cavernous divide.

There's another way to look at it, which was also echoed by Mertz. Perhaps the weekends can be a celebration of a hard week's work well done. Perhaps the weekend is a time to temporarily step away, recharge, and get our head back in the game the following week. Mertz is right....he's so right! One of the reasons I know he's right is that he finds meaning in his work. He's not running away from anything. Sure, his work can be challenging, stressful, and trying......all work has components of this. But when push comes to shove, Mertz pursues work that matters.

I also know he's right because I know what his weekends look like. His weekends are loaded with quality family time, adventures, and dutiful, joyful service at his church. His weekends are valuable to him; not as an escape, but as another meaningful part of a meaningful life.

Here's my last observation about Mertz. I know weekday Mertz, and I know weekend Mertz. It's the same guy. He carries himself with the same energy, generosity, and thoughtfulness whether I see him in the thick of his stressful week or at a casual family event at church. He's the same, and that's a tell!

I do think we should get excited for weekends. I think weekends should be a wonderful time to relax, recharge, spend time with those we love, go on adventures, and prepare for the challenges ahead. I believe all of that. But I also believe it should be through the lens of running toward something, not running away. Through the lens of meaning over money, I believe a meaningful life should be comprised of seven days per week, not just two.

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Bing!

Happy Groundhog Day to those who celebrate! What are your favorite Groundhog Day movies? For me, it's probably Groundhog Day....or maybe Groundhog Day. I saw on Facebook last night that my friend Ryan was watching it. On one hand, that's awesome. On the other hand, it's a bit of a party foul to watch it on Groundhog Day Eve. To me, that feels like unloading the Christmas tree and thrashing open all the gifts on Christmas Eve. Oh well, I digress.

Groundhog Day has been and will forever be one of my favorite movies. If you haven't seen it (which is a shame), I'll summarize. Bill Murray, a semi-famous meteorologist from Pittsburgh, begrudgingly travels to nearby Punxsutawney to cover the annual Groundhog Day celebration.

For unknown reasons, Bill Murray gets caught in a time loop where he lives the same day over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over. It's as depressing as it is ridiculous, as thought-provoking as it is hilarious. Underneath its comedic facade is a deeply meaningful movie, filled with wisdom and virtue.

Here's the question I always ask myself while enjoying this film. Is it enough to do the right thing? On a basic level, we know right and wrong. We understand how we should handle ourselves and how we shouldn't. If that's true, is it enough to simply put ourselves through the paces of doing it "the right way?"

As you can imagine, I have an opinion. I tend to believe simply doing the right thing isn't enough. I think it goes deeper than that. I think intent plays a big role in all this, which is woven into the fabric of this film. I call it doing the right things for the right reasons.

It's one thing to do the right thing, but it's an entirely different beast when we're doing the right thing for the right reasons. A sincerity, if you will. A spirit of openhandedness. A posture of generosity. Doing the right thing without any expectations in return.

Oftentimes, we do the right thing if/when it serves our own purposes or self-interest. But what happens when the right thing doesn't benefit us......or even hurts us?

What if doing the right thing means sacrificing ourselves for the betterment of others?

What if doing the right thing means taking a harder path when it means we can make someone else's path easier?

What if doing the right thing means caring so deeply about the intent of the action, knowing well the outcome is very much uncertain?

What if doing the right thing means foregoing more money and a higher standard of living so we can live out a more specific call in our life?

I'm not sure my little rant made total sense, but perhaps it will give you something to think about before or after you watch the film. Not during, though. During the movie, I hope you enjoy it as thoroughly as I will. Oh yeah, and one more thing: Bing!

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Bummer

"Happy Friday!"

"At least it's Friday!"

"Happy Friday!"

"The week is almost over!"

"Thank God it's Friday!"

"I'm so ready for the weekend to get here!"

The six quotes above are from six different interactions I had yesterday. Each of these people were yearning for the end of the work week and desperate to get to the weekend. Can you relate? Would you say something like this? Most would. Wanna know what all six of these individuals have in common? None of them love their work.

In a society where 7 out of 10 Americans dislike or hate their job, statements like those above are the norm. They are to be expected. They are almost as ubiquitous as "How are you?" or "Good morning." We're expected to celebrate Fridays.

I used to celebrate Fridays.....a lot! I couldn't wait for them to get here. I needed a reprieve. I needed an escape. I desperately craved something else......anything else.

Around noon yesterday, it dawned on me that the week was coming to an end. I only had one thought: "Bummer." I had been sick earlier in the week, so it felt like I was just hitting my groove. I was working on some extraordinarily challenging projects that were pushing me to grossly uncomfortable places. I was stressed and frustrated, yet fulfilled. I learned things I never knew I'd learn, and addressed problems I didn't know needed addressing.

I could work 6-7 days per week if it weren't for this whole balance thing. My wife and kids need me to be a husband and a father, so it's imperative I create healthy boundaries. I think that's what makes fulfilling work so compelling. In a society that demonizes work and glorifies Fridays, it's odd to live in a reality where you must create structure to prevent yourself from overdoing work.

I'm not the only one facing this. There's an army of people who love their work. It's an unfortunate minority, but an army nonetheless. Work that matters matters.

Have you ever seen those videos where someone puts in hearing aids and experiences the sense of hearing for the first time. Often, they break down in tears, overwhelmed by a reality they never knew existed. Work that matters is much the same way. You don't understand that reality until the moment you feel it for the first time, and just like the people who use hearing aids for the first time, it can be immensely overwhelming.

This isn't me bragging. This is me inviting. I dream of a world where people are just as happy to go to work as they are to go home. A world where Mondays are just as exciting as Fridays. A world where instead of bouncing from awesome to dread to awesome to dread, people bounce from awesome to awesome to awesome to awesome.

If you know exactly what I'm talking about, keep living it out. Your example matters. Your testimony moves the needle. Others will follow.....eventually.....I hope.

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When Your Priorities (Drastically) Change

I was recently scheduled to meet with a client. It was a meeting I had excitedly anticipated for weeks. We had a lot to discuss, with very specific (and big) priorities. I spent much time preparing for the conversation that would likely help them shift the trajectory of their financial life in an awesome and life-altering way.

However, just 30 seconds into the meeting, they dropped a bomb on me. They had just experienced a major life event that will forever change their lives. Major life events come in many shapes and sizes, from the best of the best to the worst of the worst, and everything in between. The types of life changes that impact literally every aspect of our being. The bomb hit hard, and it changed everything.

I took about ten seconds to regroup, then quickly modified the meeting's agenda. Priorities needed to be shifted because, well, priorities were shifting. Everything I had in store for them suddenly seemed meaningless. What seemed like the world's most crucial topic yesterday now felt minuscule and insignificant.

The couple was frustrated. After much hard work, discipline, and consistency, they were excited for this next chapter. Now, after an unexpected turn of events, they quickly realized their reality had shifted.

We spent the following ten minutes processing these feelings. Ultimately, I explained, this is how life works. It's never linear. It rarely goes how we anticipate. Our best-laid plans can go poof at a moment's notice. This isn't proof that their good work is meaningless.....far from it! Rather, it's evidence and affirmation of why they put in the hard work in the first place. Being in their current strong position, which didn't happen by accident, will allow them to absorb the impact of this newfound reality.

Though it's perfectly normal (even healthy) to set a clear path with an identified destination, we must expect life to slow us down, knock us off course, or even alter our plans. It's ok to adjust. Just because we thought we would accomplish xyz last month, it doesn't mean we are failures if new circumstances or altered realities shift the plan.

When reality changes, change with it. When priorities must change, change them. Don't view it through the lens of failure; view it through the lens of life. When we expect life to happen, it's never a surprise when life happens. After all, that's part of the adventure!

I hope your day is smooth and awesome, but if for some reason life slows you down, knocks you off course, or alters your plans, shift with it. That's not a loss, just a different kind of win!

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Today is the Youngest Day of Your Life

I had the privilege of speaking to a youth group last night, and not just any youth group. It's the same youth group I participated in as a leader for ten years. I was invited to speak on the topic of integrating our faith with our finances. Overall, it went fantastic. The kids were engaged, interactive, showed me lots of love, and even laughed at my dumb jokes (pity laughs still count!).

We call this the “Junkyard pose.”

We covered topics including the behavioral science of money and happiness, the importance of being a good steward, avoiding debt, and finding a healthy balance between spending, saving, and giving. I hope it moved the needle. I hope someone's life was impacted by my talk. I hope a trajectory will be altered in some way. I hope my heart and insight landed well. I may never know for sure, but I'll trust....and have faith.

One of the adult leaders approached me afterward and said the magical line I hear more than any other: "I wish someone would have taught me this when I was 16. It would have saved me a lot of mistakes and regrets." Oh, so true! I wish I had that as well!

I have a bit of a bad news, good news situation. If you're 45 years old, I can't dump you into a DeLorean, speed up to 88 MPH, and take you back to your teenage years. It's too late. I can't go back, and you can't go back. We are where we are. Our past is our past, our mistakes are our mistakes, and our regrets are our regrets.

Now, it's time for the good news. Today is the youngest day of your life. You'll never be this young again. It's the youngest you'll ever be. Therefore, perhaps today is the day you make some changes. Pay off debt. Get on a budget. Start giving generously. Transition to the work you're called to. Start investing. Build an emergency fund. Save for that dream trip.

Here's what I don't want for you. I don't want the 85-year-old version of you to say, "I wish I would have done ____ when I was 45. I was so young then."

No, you might not be 16 anymore. Or 25. Or 30. But you are where you are, and it's the youngest you'll ever be. If that's true, you might as well get started now.

Happy youngest day of your life. Let's get started!

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Tell the Others

My social media feed was inundated with "support xyz business" posts all day today. I'm starting to believe the algorithm is just trolling me at this point. Oh well, I suppose it provides great content ideas.

Regular readers probably know that I despise the idea of "supporting" businesses, as if they are some form of non-profit charity that can only survive if we treat them with pity and use our own self-directed guilt to give them money.

Today, I want to explore one of the actually beneficial alternatives to "supporting" businesses. Let's call it "tell the others." First, if a business in your life consistently adds value to your journey and repeatedly earns the right to serve you again, allow them to serve you again. Allow them the opportunity to earn that right, then reward them with the opportunity to earn it again.

It's like my friend Teresa at West Forty Market, a local meat market. Teresa doesn't ask me to support her business. Instead, she simply serves me with excellence and earns the right to do it again. She always delivers. I could probably get better prices at Target or Costco, but what Teresa offers is more valuable than what I could get from the big box stores. The product quality is phenomenal. It's always a great experience. Teresa is extremely knowledgeable and answers all my questions. She treats people with genuine hospitality. I always walk out satisfied and grateful I decided to visit. Teresa has earned the right to serve me, and continues to re-earn the right each time I visit. That's what business is all about.

Once that piece is locked in, the "tell the others" component comes into play. It's simple. If a business has continued to earn and re-earn the right to serve you with excellence, it's an act of generosity to share said excellence with people around us. Why would I want to keep such a beautiful thing a secret? The people I care about deserve to be served as well as I do. Thus, I tell the others.

Teresa at West Forty Market is a great example. I just told 1,000+ people about her. That's an act of generosity, but not generosity to Teresa. It's an act of generosity to the people I’m telling. The people I care about deserve to be served as well as I do. They deserve a little meat market that serves a top-notch product, with a great experience, by someone who will treat them with hospitality. You deserve that.

What Teresa gets out of it isn't "support." Rather, she might earn the right to serve some new faces with excellence. And if she does, she might earn the right to do it again. And if she does, they, too, may tell the others....and the cycle repeats. That's how real businesses are built.

Whatever amazing businesses in your life have earned and re-earned the right to serve you, tell the others. Share the good news. It's an act of generosity. Not generosity to the business, but to the people who deserve that type of excellence in their lives as well.

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Death, Taxes, and Jealousy

In yesterday's post, I talked about the prevalence and destruction of jealousy in our lives. If you have a pulse, you're either the culprit or victim of jealousy.....or both. I didn't offer any tangible takeaways in yesterday's post, partly due to my self-imposed word count limit (which I already breached the way it was) and partly because I didn't yet know where I wanted to take it.

I'm going to start with a little life hack. I can tell you with 100% certainty how to prevent people from acting like a jealous jerk around you. Ready for it? Don't do anything. Don't grow. Don't build. Don't progress. Don't thrive. Don't be productive. Staying where you are is a surefire way to prevent the jealousy bug from biting your friends, family, and co-workers.

In the absence of my brilliant little life hack, jealousy is inevitable. It's inevitable because jealousy rears its ugly head when, and only when, you surpass someone in a particular area. The woman in yesterday's post was a perfect example. She was the darling in other people's lives. They rooted for her. They encouraged her. They cheered her on. Then, she unexpectedly surpassed them. More money. More notoriety. More status. The moment she passed them, the jealousy bug bit.

Here's another sad reality. It doesn't matter how humble you are or how well you carry yourself; you cannot control the jealousy seeded in others. It is what it is, and that's what it is. If that's true, you have just one job: keep growing.

• Get out of debt.

• Improve your craft.

• Get more intentional with your finances.

• Build more stability.

• Invest in relationships.

• Pour out generosity.

• Start that new endeavor.

• Put your art into the world.

Do it all, but do it all with a posture of humility. Be above reproach in your behavior and attitude. Give people no reason to be jealous, knowing they will be anyway.

What about your own jealousy bug, though? Yeah, this part is tough. It's all fun and games when we want people to stop being jealous of us, but what should we think when someone else surpasses us? Well, we can definitely choose jealousy.....everyone else does, after all.

If I do my financial coaching job right, some of my clients will far surpass me. That's happened many times. Due to their circumstances, age, and trajectory, if they implement my ideas well, they will absolutely crush what I've accomplished. So what happens when I get a front-row seat to someone surpassing me? I feel nothing but joy for them. Why? The answer is my parting thought for the day.

Life is not a zero-sum game. Someone else winning does not mean that I'm losing. It doesn't have to be about winners and losers. Everyone can win. My friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers having good fortune or blessing in their lives does not negatively impact my life one bit. Therefore, there's no rational or loving feeling other than joy.

Feel joy for them. Take care of your own business. Repeat.

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J Is For Jealousy

Just a handful of years ago, the Kansas City Chiefs were the darlings of the NFL. Their young upstart quarterback, Patrick Mahomes, was as charismatic as he was gifted. Their head coach, Andy Reid, was generally beloved in all areas of football. He was known as one of the best all-time coaches who hadn't won the big one. For a hot minute, the Chiefs became America's team. You couldn't go anywhere in the country without seeing Chiefs gear. Their newfound fandom knew no bounds.

Then, something happened. They found success.....a lot of it. Three Super Bowl Championships and seven AFC Title Game appearances later, the Chiefs have become arguably the most hated team in the history of football. Hating the Chiefs has practically become its own religion.

Why? Patrick Mahomes is just as gifted and charismatic as ever. Andy Reid is just as lovable as ever. Yet, they've gone from darling to despised in just a handful of years. Why? I'll give you a hint: It starts with the letter J. That's right, jealousy. In sports, people love underdogs. They love watching the new, unexpected talent rise above adversity and be crowned with glory. Then, once that person has been placed on the golden pedestal, the masses will work just as hard to tear them down. It's the circle of life in sports.

Except it's not just sports. This phenomenon happens in literally every aspect of life. We watch it play out with musicians, actors, social media influencers, and politicians. You know who else this happens to? Your friends, co-workers, neighbors, family, and, unfortunately, you.

It's a story as old as time, and for better or worse, I have a front-row seat to watch it play out over, and over, and over. I'll share one example. One of my clients made the difficult choice to leave her long-time job to start her own business.Knowing how unhappy she was in her prior work, her friends and family cheered her on to start something new. Her idea was cute and creative. At best, she would eke out a moderate financial existence and find meaning in this new endeavor. To their credit, people around her rallied to advocate, refer, and recommend her business. She was the underdog. She was the little guy. She was the darling.

Then, something happened. She became wildly successful. She earned notoriety, attention, and revenue. She maintained her humility throughout this process. However, instead of everyone around her being a source of encouragement, it took a sharp and dark turn. She'd hear things like:

• "It must be nice to be you."

• "You wouldn't be here without me, you know."

• "Not everyone can just quit and start something new."

• "You just got lucky."

• "You think you're better than everyone else."

This culminated in a recent coaching session when she said, "You're the only person I can share wins with and know you're genuinely happy for me." How sad is that?

The jealousy bug is a dangerous thing. We're just as likely to get bit by it as we fall victim to it. It's dangerous. It's destructure. It pollutes relationships. When have you been bitten by it? When have you fallen victim to it? Please ponder these questions today, and we'll continue the conversation tomorrow. Have a great day!

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When Taylor Swift Gives You That Look

I recently ran into one of my former youth group kids. I haven't seen him in a few years, so it was fun to catch up. When I asked him what he's doing for work, his face changed. He shared about a job that seemed uncharacteristic for who I know him to be and for what he dreamed of doing. "That's cool, but what about your dream to _______?" He sighed. Here's what he said. After having enough people tell him his dream was foolish, stupid, and unrealistic, he decided to "get a real job." I could see the frustration in his eyes.

This is the type of rhetoric and narrative that leads us to a point in society where 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. 7 out of 10 of us are living with some form of misery in our work. And then, with the best intentions, we say things and do things to separate people from their dreams, resulting in them following in our footsteps of pursuing work they will likely hate. Thus, the cycle continues.

I know someone else who is foolish, stupid, and unrealistic. His name is Cole, and he's my Meaning Over Money partner. I've talked about Cole countless times on this blog, so this story might not be new to you. After Cole graduated from college, he, too, initially conceded that a "real job" needed to replace any dreams that lived within him. Then, after just a handful of weeks at said real job, he impulsively quit and recklessly started pursuing his dream. It was a mess, but it was his mess.

Last Sunday, I texted Cole and asked if he'd have time to edit the following week's podcast episodes:

"No."

"Why not? What do you have going on?"

"I'm at Arrowhead today."

"Ohhhh. Taylor Swift duty?"

"Yep."

A few hours later, he sent me this video:

You might have seen it if you were tuned into the ESPN pre-game show. It was a short clip of Taylor Swift walking through the underbelly of Arrowhead Stadium, preparing to watch Travis Kelce suit up for a chance to go to the AFC Championship Game. Cole shot that for ESPN. Watch as she turns the corner and looks back at him. That look!

I don't think Cole is all that special. He's not extraordinarily brilliant, though he’s sharp. He doesn't stand above the crowd, though he’s talented. He doesn't have some special privilege or access that's unavailable to the rest of us. I do think three things set him apart from most people, though. Again, these three traits aren't special, but the presence of these traits can create something special:

• He believes in himself and his calling.

• He values meaning more than anything.

• He doesn't care what others think.

All three of those traits are available to each of us. So, while Cole isn't special, the path he chooses is. It's the path of the 30%. The path toward meaning over money. The pursuit of work that matters.

Our mission isn't to follow in Cole's footsteps. Our mission is to follow the steps we're each meant to follow.

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Just Buy the Shoes

One of my clients is a hoarder. All her life, she's been told:

• "Stop spending."

• "You don't need that."

• "Save more."

• "Don't waste money."

Many of you can relate to this. This didn't happen because parents were trying to be hurtful. Quite the opposite, actually. It's the product of parents trying to teach kids responsibility and discipline.....but they just happened to do it in the most toxic and destructive way possible.

Fast forward to today, and my client is a 35-year-old with a great job, no debt, and investments for the future. Oh yeah, and $400,000 in her CHECKING account. During a recent meeting, we spent 20 minutes deliberating a huge financial decision for her. I'll share what it was: She wanted a pair of shoes. Not just any shoes, mind you; $75 shoes.

Let me summarize. A grown woman, making good money, with nearly a half million sitting in her checking account is consternating over a $75 pair of shoes. This is the product of being told to "quit spending" for 20+ years. Ironically, she's financially free, but a slave to herself.

"Just buy the shoes," I kept saying.

All clients leave our meetings with a handful of next steps. That day, she had just one: "Buy the shoes.....without guilt."

At our next meeting, she recounted the stress and turmoil she felt buying something she "didn't need." She tried not to feel guilty, but there was an overwhelming sense of impending financial doom, as if this $75 purchase was the gateway drug to utter financial destruction. Much to her surprise, though, her world didn't cave in around her. She was fine.

Over time, she slowly but surely worked her way into buying things she didn't need. The guilt slowly evaporated. Her relationship with money began to heal.

This story may sound crazy to you, but millions of Americans are battling this as we speak. I suspect many readers might be as well. If that's you, please know you're not alone.....and this isn't the end of the story. You can find freedom from this curse.

Parents, it's not too late for your kids. You don't have to inadvertently send your kids careening into the guilt abyss. Here are a few tips to help you in the parenting journey:

• Instead of saying, "We can't afford it," tell your kids it's not in the budget this month.

• Instead of telling your kids to stop spending on things they don't need, encourage them to not spend on things that don't add value to THEIR lives.

• Instead of obsessing over saving, teach them to find a healthy balance between saving, giving, and spending.

• Instead of not letting your kids spend money on stupid things, allow them to make mistakes and learn from them. Sometimes, those stupid decisions are the best lessons, and it's best for them to learn them when they are younger and the mistakes are cheaper.

• Lean hard into generosity. When we learn to give to others with no expectation for something in return, we can learn to respect ourselves.

Guilt doesn't belong here. Just buy the shoes.

I’m so grateful for my client for allowing me to share her story. Her hope is that her experience can be a springboard for someone else to find peace in this as well.

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Give What You Have: Landlord Edition

I’ve written extensively about the importance of giving what you have, not what you don’t. It’s a concept I learned from Gary Hoag, and it changed everything for me. We ALL have something to give. We don’t need to be wealthy to give. We don’t need to have a huge income to give. We don’t need larger-than-life status to give. Instead of saying, “I’d give more if I had x,” we can flip the narrative and say “I have y, so I should give from it.” All we have is what we have, and that’s what we’re called to give from.

It looks different for everyone. Of course, we each have an opportunity (and I’d argue a responsibility) to give from our income. Some of us have small incomes, others large. And all incomes merit giving from. We also have other financial assets to give from, such as savings and investments. But we also have other things to give. It could be our skills, our relationships, our influence, our time, our wisdom. Generosity can (and should) flow from every area of our lives.

We also have other, more creative forms of generosity at our fingertips. Here’s one example. I recently learned of a landlord who waives December’s rent for all of its tenants each year. Think about this. You rent a house and sign a one-year lease. The lease says you owe 12 monthly payments of $2,000. Then, when that first December rolls around, your landlord says, “Nah, you keep it. Use it to have a wonderful Christmas.” Boom! What an amazing blessing. I don’t know the landlord or what they have for income and other resources, but what a beautiful example of giving from what they have.

I don’t personally own a rental house to practice that form of generosity. It would be awfully easy for me to dwell on the fact I don’t have that to give. That’s why I must look inward and give from what I do have:

• I have an income (not nearly as high as it used to be, but it’s still an income).

• I have savings and investments.

• I have a coffee company (which has become one of the best outlets of generosity).

• I have skillsets to help countless people find meaning and intentionality in their finances.

• I have relationships all over the country and world that may be THE missing link in someone else’s journey.

• I have platforms (blog and podcast) that enable me to give away ideas, inspiration, and encouragement.

• I have knowledge bases that allow me to help several non-profits grow their impact.

• I have possessions I can share with others.

• I have a wonderful church that allows me the opportunity to serve in various capacities.

The list could go on. This really isn’t about me, though. That’s just my list. That’s what I have to give from. Now, it’s your turn. What do you have to give? The answer(s) to that question could change everything!

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Stacking Wins

We recently procured some office space for Northern Vessel, called NV HQ. It's not a great space, but it's our space.....and the vibe perfectly fits our personality as a brand. It will be a space for team meetings, strategy sessions, and creative workshops. It will also house our storage overflow, which has been facilitated via a few storage units. All in all, this is a massive development for us, and we're excited to have more room to be us.

I bring that up for one specific reason. When I first walked into the half-completed space, a giant mobile whiteboard was positioned against the wall. At the top were the words "Stacking Wins." I smiled, as this has become our recent motto for approaching business. As we reflected back on 2024, it was so easy to recall the crappy times:

• Getting hit by the second car in nine months.

• Closing down our canning operation (which was easily the worst business venture I've attempted in my life).

• Enduring a disastrous event that we put much time, energy, and resources into.

• Battling A/C issues at the shop during the scorching summer weeks.

• The list goes on.

It would be so easy for us to define our year by those memorable failings. However, that's only part of the story.....a very small part. As humans, we often dwell on the crap while taking the good for granted. The complete story of Northern Vessel in 2024 was a monumental win. If true, how do we combat our human nature to forget the good and dwell on the bad?

Stacking wins! As 2025 unfolds, we will use that whiteboard to document any and all wins. We're going to stack them visually for all of us to see, remember, celebrate, and embrace. We already have eight wins stacked on the board three weeks into the year. Some are small wins, and some are huge wins. Creating NV HQ is one of them!

Now, every time we feel beaten down by a recent whiff, we can look at our stacked wins and remind ourselves that we have much to be grateful for. I'll be implementing this in my personal life as well, and I invite you to do the same. Inventory your wins. Write them down. Stack them. Then, when life gets tough (because that's what life does), you can refer back to your stacked wins and realize you, too, have much to be grateful for.

2025 is the year of wins. Embrace them. Celebrate them. Remember them. Stack them.

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You Are Where You Are, And So Are They

Yesterday was a weird day in southern Mississippi. Due to the nasty storm heading in (snowy and cold), everything shut down. No school, businesses closed, and we had to shut down the dry ice factory because our CO2 supplier couldn't make deliveries. The world came to a screeching halt. I spent the day working from my hotel's lobby. 

For lunch, I walked across the street and enjoyed Cracker Barrel. I was the only one there, and my waitress was appalled they were even open. At dinner, I walked from restaurant to restaurant, greeted by each with a closed sign or drive-thru only sign. Even Wal-Mart was closed (Wal-Mart was closed!!!!). I eventually found refuge in a nearby Waffle House where the other patrons shared stories of today's "once-in-a lifetime" event. 

Wanna see what brought southern Mississippi to its knees?

Oh yeah, and the temp fell to 25 degrees. This isn't me poking fun at them; far from it. Many people I talked to said they hadn't seen snow in 15 years. Some grown adults had never seen snow until yesterday. Here's where I'm going with this. We are where we are. I am where I am. You are where you are. Regardless of what anyone thinks of it, it's the current reality. Southern Mississippi doesn't have the equipment, experience, infrastructure, or culture for this type of weather. On the flip side, I talked to my wife about how the wind chills at home were -25 degrees (NEGATIVE 25 degrees), and we wondered if the kids would have outdoor recess. However, my friend Kevin from northern Minnesota said it was -50 wind chill at his house, making our -25 feel like spring to him. It's all about context. We are where we are.

So many people like to cast judgment and condemnation on other people for their financial failings, shouting down at them to just do it right. Others, on the opposite end of the spectrum, feel defeated by finances. Money hasn't been their strong suit, and they have the scars and regrets to prove it. 

We are where we are. The goal shouldn't be to magically become perfect, nor expect people around you to be. Rather, we should get a little bit better this week, then do it again next week. Develop one new skill. Improve one habit. Create one strengthening process. If we think we should (and can) wave a magic wand and drastically improve all the aspects of getting our money right, we'll be sorely disappointed. But if we view it as an iterative process, a journey, we will absolutely get to a better place.

We are where we are…..today. Next week, next month, and next year we'll be somewhere else. And if we do the hard work, it'll be a better place. 

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Seriously, how is Wal-Mart closed?!?!

What Gets Measured, Part 2

Last week, I published a piece about the importance of measuring the things we want to accomplish. After all, "what gets measured gets done." I framed the post through the lens of my newfound discovery that I walk far less than I thought. So, when my wife purchased a walking pad, I decided to do something about it.

In the world of "what gets measured gets done," how we measure is where the rubber meets the road. If we can't find a simple and effective way to measure, we won't. And if we won't, ____ doesn't get accomplished. This is a crucial concept I discuss with my coaching clients. It's imperative to find easy ways to measure what needs to be measured. Anything else will result in inevitable failure.

In the case of my walking, I luckily have a world-class tool at my fingertips. In fact, we all do. The built-in Health app on the iPhone is an amazingly simple and powerful tool for measuring many different aspects of our lives. It's a bit scary, but this app has measured my walking for the better part of a decade. I can see the data in black and white.

Given how well the data is measured, it's created more clarity and motivation for me. I consciously think about my walking now. Instead of being completely passive and out of mind, it's at the forefront. This has resulted in some interesting (and intentional) behaviors:

• While waiting for my flight on Saturday afternoon, I paced back and forth through the terminal while on a Northern Vessel call with TJ.

• Knowing I'd be sitting behind a desk all day on Sunday, I got a few thousand steps on the hotel treadmill early in the morning.

• Since I did, in fact, sit behind a desk all day and didn't get to my new hotel until 10:30 PM that night, I still needed to rip out another 3,000 steps before bed. Unfortunately, the hotel's treadmill was broken. I improvised, pacing the hotel like a creepy stalker while talking to a friend on the phone.

What gets measured gets done! Want to see what that looks like for this silly little endeavor?

Boom! I went from 3,000 steps per day to 12,000 practically overnight. Part of why I've been preliminarily successful is the tool's strength. Look how clean and visual the data is. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't making a difference.

Finances are the same way. We need simple yet powerful tools. If you're looking to budget, EveryDollar Premium is hands down the best budgeting app on the market. I'm not Dave Ramsey fan (to put it lightly), but truth is truth. They created an ingenious tool, and it's 100% worth checking out. It must be the paid version, though. The free version, requiring manual entry, is brutal to use. This tool changes lives.

CapitalOne's 360 Performance Savings accounts are a fantastic tool to facilitate and track sinking funds.

CashApp is easily the best tool to house a single spending category, like personal spending, groceries, or dining out.

What gets measured gets done, and the right tools can be the make or break. What tools add value to your finances?

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