What is Excellence?

I'm preparing for what may be the most anticipated talk I've ever given. The audience will include CEOs and other leaders from some of the most well-known organizations in the Midwest. The topic? Excellence.

I'll be exploring how organizations can practice excellence in their day-to-day operation. Not by simply talking about excellence, but actually putting one foot in front of the other.

As a consumer, what does excellence look like to you? What would an organization do that would make you stop and think, "Wow, that was amazing!"

My mind immediately gravitates to Chewy, an online pet supply company. This story has lived rent-free in my head ever since I first heard it. One of the things Chewy is most known for is its monthly subscriptions to pet food and other frequently-used supplies, which systematically show up at the consumer's door. These products are needed, like clockwork, month after month. But then, something tragic happens: the loss of a pet. It's inevitable.

This is when a potential gut-wrenching moment happens. A family is mourning the loss of its pet, and a fresh bag of dog food shows up at the door (along with a new charge on their card). Talk about rubbing salt in the wound.

The customer calls Chewy to cancel the subscription, explaining their pet recently passed away. Chewy, in its relentless pursuit of excellence, reacts with empathy. First, it reverses the charge on that customer's card while simultaneously canceling their subscription. Second, it tells the customer NOT to send the supplies back. Instead, please bless a friend or loved one with them. Third, Chewy sends the customer a bouquet of flowers, communicating its condolences for their recent loss. That's excellence in practice.

I have a first-hand story to add to the mix. About six weeks ago, one of our periodic Northern Vessel customers stopped by the shop with his dog. During the interaction, one of our baristas offered the dog a treat. The man declined, citing that the dog only eats one particular kind of treat. The barista made a mental note.

Six weeks go by, and the man returns to the shop, again accompanied by his dog. And again, our barista offers the dog a treat. The man declined, citing that the dog only eats one particular kind of treat. This time, though, the barista was prepared. He pulled out the exact treat this man's dog could have and presented one to the sweet dog. The man was shocked.....and grateful. Our barista, in my humble opinion, showed excellence.

What about you? Would you share a personal story of excellence with me? What experience moved the needle for you? How did it impact your relationship with that organization? I thrive on these stories, and I firmly believe my future audience will, too!

Always seek excellence. Whether you're going to the grocery store, getting your vehicle serviced, grabbing a cup of coffee, or getting your hair cut. Anyone can perform a task, but why not choose excellence? Oh yeah, while you're at it, choose to be the excellence other people deserve!

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Wipe Up That Water

Creativity is the most powerful weapon in our toolbelt. It's the tool that unlocks doors and unveils new opportunities. Creativity can (and should) be integrated into all aspects of our lives, including generosity.

As I often discuss, we all have something to give. Our unique roles in life provide unique giving opportunities. However, our lack of creativity frequently holds us back. We either think too linearly, or we're not thinking at all. Life can be crazy, and we get so consumed by our tasks that we don't see all the fun opportunities around us. I'm certainly guilty of this at times!

However, if we keep our eyes and ears open, allow ourselves to think creatively, and are willing to step into the opportunity, amazing things can happen. I have two fun examples of this.

Yesterday, during our weekly Northern Vessel run with the family, I stumbled into a fun opportunity. As usual, the place was packed, and the line extended outside onto the sidewalk. I started a casual conversation with a woman and her cute little daughter while we waited. Turns out, the daughter loves our donuts. However, since it was so late in the morning, the mom warned her daughter they would probably be sold out. She wasn't wrong. We usually sell 8-10 dozen by mid-morning on the weekends, so the odds weren't in her favor.

I asked the girl what her favorite kind of donut was. "Cherry, or the sprinkle one." I told her I would check to see if we have any, and if we do, make sure she gets one. I immediately bee-lined it to the pastry case and noticed a few donuts left.....and one was cherry! I asked barista Dante if he could pull one for a little girl in line, and he nodded.

When it was my family's turn to order, I purchased that cherry donut and quickly handed it to that little girl. Her eyes lit up, and she called me "a nice man." So sweet! I'm glad I kept aware of my surroundings and found some creativity to unlock that door.

My second example comes from the first round of the NCAA basketball tournament. Liberty, not known as a basketball powerhouse, was about one minute away from getting beat by Oregon. Their season was coming to an end, but ending it in the Big Dance was a huge accomplishment.

With less than a minute remaining, as Liberty was dribbling the ball into the frontcourt, the ref blew the play dead after noticing water spilled on the court. Except there wasn't water spilled on the court. Just a few feet from him was a Liberty bench player at the scorer's table, waiting to check into the game for the first time. The ref, recognizing how important this moment could be for this player, used creativity to blow his whistle and allow this player to enter the game. He grabs the player's hand to help him up, and the player gets his moment. The ref had a unique role, and with a little creativity, unlocked a door for an act of generosity. Beautiful!

Ref made it seem like he was cleaning a wet spot so this Liberty player could play in the tourney

Massive Wpic.twitter.com/3k9zrUJbo1

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) March 22, 2025

I hope you find ways to use your creativity in whatever roles you're blessed with today.

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One Sec, Gotta Make My Monthly Burrito Payment

A few days ago, it was announced that Klarna will soon be partnering with DoorDash, offering DoorDash customers the option to spread the expense of their food order over four monthly payments. Yes, you heard that correctly. You'll soon be able to use debt to buy your delivered Chipotle burrito. Don't feel like forking over $20 to fill your belly from the comfort of your own home? That's okay! You can still get your tasty treats for just four easy payments of $4.99.

Seems absurd, doesn't it? Well, that's one way to look at it. The reality, though, is that people have been using debt to pay for their burritos for years. Considering the average household in America carries a $9,000+ credit card balance, we effectively are using debt to fund our cravings. After all, most people are using credit cards for most purchases, and every dollar spent on a tasty treat is one less dollar paid off. It's a continuous cycle, but we mask it by churning charges and payments each month, a never-ending cycle.

While DoorDash offering monthly payments for food purchases seems insane, it's a natural next step for the collective journey we've been on. Debt is not only culturally accepted, but encouraged. From a young age, we're told that using debt is not just okay, but inevitable. It puts a magic wand in the hands of a group of people obsessed with instant gratification.

Want a new car? Wave the wand and sign the papers.

Want a trip to Disney? Wave the wand and swipe the card.

Want a new wardrobe? Wave the wand and sign up for that store card.

And now, want an Arby's roast beef sandwich and curly fries (IYKYK)? Wave the wand and choose payments.

It's that easy! But it shouldn't be. I yearn for a world where we have to think about our decisions, plan for our decisions, and sacrifice for our decisions. A world in which we don't systematically sabotage our own futures at the hands of our impatience and temptations. A world where people will live with margin, freedom, and options. A world where proactivity trumps reactivity.

Will you help me create that world? I don't have the power to bend the culture by myself, but together, collectively, we do!

In the meantime, I'm gonna go get me a Taco Bell Luxe Cravings Box.....and actually pay for it out of my bank account.

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Better Than You Found It

I got rocked by a single moment yesterday. #12 McNeese had just taken down #5 Clemson in the first round of the NCAA basketball tournament. McNeese was up by a mile, only for Clemson to claw itself back into the game, but McNeese ultimately held on for the victory (its first NCAA tourney win in school history!). It gave me chills!

For weeks, it's been speculated that NcNeese head coach Will Wade had already accepted the head coaching position at NC State, essentially making him a lame-duck coach for the most important games of the year. If this news is true, Coach Wade will soon pack his bags, say his goodbyes, and start afresh at a new school with new players.

This added an interesting dynamic as I watched the post-game celebration. Coach Wade respectfully shook hands with the opposing coaches and players, and as soon as that was finished, he frantically darted into the stands where he wildly hugged countless people. He was beaming. It was nothing other than pure unadulterated joy. After a few minutes, he worked his way back to the court, where the TV broadcast correspondent interviewed him.

"We're advancing, baby! We'll take it!"

He was asked about his emotions in this moment: "We've made school history, man! We've never won a game [in the NCAA tourney]. We didn't have much history when we got there. We've broken almost every record. I'm so proud for our guys, for our university, our president, our athletic director. It's incredible! This changes our university. This changes our university."

All this from a man who may be a former employee in a matter of days. He cared; he cared deeply. This moment sat with me. I recorded it on my phone and watched it over and over. I kept repeating the same phrase in my mind: Leave it better than you found it.

There's a reality in life we must all face. Everything we do will end soon. You WILL leave your job. You WILL have a final conversation with people in your life. You WILL stop engaging with xyz organization. You WILL stop running your business. You WILL have a final engagement with your client. You WILL stop attending your church. You WILL die. There WILL be an end, and it's sooner than we'd like to believe.

If that's true, we should each live life with a focused mission: Leave it better than we found it. Our workplace, the people in our lives, the organizations we engage with, the businesses we own/run, the clients we serve, the churches we attend, and the non-profits we support. We're here but for a moment, then gone.

It reminds me of something a wise friend once told me. Every gravestone includes three things: A birth date, a death date, and a dash between. What we do with the dash is what matters most. None of us know how long our dash will be, but we each have an opportunity to add value to the world while we're living the dash.

Whatever you do today, leave it better than you found it. Time is short. Embrace the dash. Oh yeah, one last thing: Go McNeese!

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Your Permission Slip

If you ever want to get a zoomed-in look at our modern-day societal depravity, pull up a Dave Ramsey clip on social media and read the comments. Now, I'm no fan of Dave Ramsey, and I'm often critical of pieces of his advice, but the level of vitriol and anger toward his social posts are hard to watch.

Example. I recently stumbled upon a clip where a woman was talking to Dave about getting out of debt. Dave's very clear advice was that this woman and her husband desperately needed to sell their expensive vehicles (paired with expensive payments), buy a few $10,000 cars with cash, and use their newfound monthly margin to aggressively pay off the remaining debt. As someone who does this for a living, I affirm this advice based on the information given by this woman. In all reality, the only rational path out of this debt mess is to humbly sell the fancy vehicles, even more humbly purchase inferior vehicles, and use this significant reset moment as an opportunity to get right with their money.

The commenters disagreed, and right on cue, they offered the angriest of angry responses. In short, most of the feedback revolved around the idea that you can't even find junkers for $10,000. $10,000 will buy a piece of trash car that will leave you stranded in the middle of nowhere any and every day. Translation: a $10,000 vehicle is an absolute pile of crap.

Confession: My family owns three cars, each valued at less than $10,000. They are quality vehicles. They run well. They are reliable. They get the job done. They take us from point A to point B.

No, they aren't fancy. No, they don't have the latest technology. No, they aren't under warranty. No, they won't be issue-free. No, they won't be the coolest car in any parking lot. No, they aren't sexy (well, the 350Z is 19-years-old sports car sexy!).

More importantly, they fit within our budget, provide financial margin, and allow us to spend our money on things that add far more value to our lives. We haven't had a car payment in 16 years, and will never again. We'd rather walk 15 miles, uphill both ways, in a torrential storm, than ever have a car payment again. Thus, we won't.

At the same time, our culture is pushing people into toxic vehicle purchase decisions that are deeply crippling their lives. Parents are doing it to their kids. Neighbors are doing it to their neighbors. Co-workers are doing it to their co-workers. Social media is doing it to all of us. It's everywhere.

Therefore, today, I'm giving you a permission slip. I'm not sure you need it, but today I am giving you permission to drive a vehicle you can afford. Yes, you can live a happy, meaningful, and fulfilling life while driving an affordable vehicle. You don't need to sabotage everything you hold dear in exchange for driving an expensive vehicle. It's not worth it. Please believe that. It's not worth it.

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Only You Can Define Success

"Are you thinking about ending your podcast?"

Interesting question, I thought, after a friend dropped this suspicious little gem on me. "Why would we end it?" I was so curious about what would happen next.

"Because you haven't figured out how to make money on it."

"What makes you think that was our goal?"

"Well, why else would you do it?"

The world does a great job of telling us what success looks like, and typically, it involves a $ symbol. Sure, I suppose money can (and should) be one definition of success, but it's a gravely materialistic perspective to define everything through the lens of dollars and cents.

We're more than 400 episodes into our podcast, and I can count the money we've made from it on zero fingers. In fact, that's never really been a discussion. Cole and I each support our families from our respective businesses, and we view the podcast simply as a way to serve people. Through it, we've helped thousands of people from all over the world. We've hit the top business podcast charts in Ukraine, Belize, and Italy. We've connected with countless people who cited our podcast as a turning point in their financial journey.

Our definition of success is to help a lot of people and perhaps start to bend the culture around the way that we humans view and handle money and work. And for that, it's been a massive success.

Northern Vessel is another example of this. I get asked at least 2 times per week when we'll open a second location. The answer is always the same: Never. Our definition of success isn't to create a multi-location empire or maximize economics. Rather, it's to redefine what hospitality can (and should) be in the coffee world, and strive to be the single best coffee shop in America. That's it. No amount of money or number of locations will define success for us. We control the definition.

Whatever you do, don't let others define success for you. YOU define what success looks like. When you let others decide what it means to be successful, you might give up or punt on an otherwise successful endeavor. However, when you control the definition of success, you're in the driver's seat. It gets to be whatever you want it to be, avoiding the cultural narrative around you. That's when you make meaning your true north, ignoring all the noise that would otherwise prevent you from reaching it. Never lose sight of that. Go be successful; your version of successful.

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Legacy: Digital Footprint Edition

I received an unexpected message from Meaning Over Money co-founder Cole Netten. I was expecting another one of his ridiculous voice memo rants about a particular topic that may or may not make good content (but will most certainly be entertaining!), but it was something much different. He asked if we could record more episodes with him in them. Considering he's very much a behind-the-camera sort of cat, his request surprised me. I'm always down to record content with him, but I was curious about this sudden shift.

He referenced a conversation he and I recently had about my constant and intentional endeavor to create a digital legacy for my children. Someday, I'll be dead. Hopefully, not for a long time, but it's coming soon. When that happens, my kids will be left in this world without me. When I think about my life and my own journey, I don't have a lot of memories or touch points to the past. I've seen a few grainy home videos, giving a small glimpse of what life looked like before I could remember, but there's not much. In some ways, multiple generations are just gone.....poof. That's the circle of life and the limitations of technology, and I get it, but what if there was something we could do about it?

Due to the amazing advances in technology, both physically and in the cloud, we live in a new information world order with unlimited possibilities. We often warn kids: Everything you do will be out there forever! Also, the good news: Everything you do will be out there forever! That's the golden opportunity we all possess. Every single time I create something, whether it be an article, podcast, YouTube video, or book, I think about those who will be left after I'm dead and buried.

If I died today, my kids would be left with 111 hours of podcast content and a half-million words of blog content.....and that's just my own content. It doesn't include YouTube, podcast appearances, guest articles, and the books I've helped write. That content is forever, for better or worse....hopefully better!

With this idea in mind, Cole is going to be joining me on the show more often. We'll get a bit more personal in some of our episodes, pulling back the curtain society tries to make us live behind. I hope it helps people, gives them a different perspective, and provides much-desired encouragement, but I also hope it's a window for my children to understand who their dad was and how he saw the world.

I have a difficult challenge for you today. Consider how you can best leave a digital footprint for those who come after you. Maybe it's starting a YouTube channel, podcast, or a blog. Perhaps it's writing a book, publishing music, or creating art. Or maybe it's something I've never even thought of. Only you know you, but you definitely know you. I challenge you to create something that matters. When you're dead and buried beside me, make sure to leave a beautiful gift for those you love.

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The Big 3

My head is spinning. Too many ideas. Too many projects. Too many tasks. Too many next-steps. Too many follow-ups. Too many everythings. It feels like too much. Can you relate? I feel like this often, but this particular idea was hitting especially hard for me last night. I hope someday, someone will teach me the secret to all of this. Until then, I will do what I always try to do: The Big 3.

The Big 3 is a simple idea I heard several years ago. No matter how many things are on the to-do list today, designate the three most important things. The three things that, if accomplished, it doesn't matter what else I got done. The three things that, no matter what else happens today, the day is still considered a win. The three things that, despite the noise and chaos, WILL get accomplished.

I feel like a failure often.....daily. However, the Big 3 help me find the right wins to celebrate and the grace to forgive myself once again. In this very moment, I'm trying to figure out what mine are for today. The bad news is I'm definitely going to fail today. The good news is I absolutely 100% will achieve my big 3. I hope you do, too!

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Seeking Quick Hitters

Whenever the idea of vacations comes up, people tend to think about it through the lens of these week-long, break-the-bank, profound experience vacations. Sure, those are awesome! There's nothing quite like a plane ride to a foreign place, eating interesting foods, experiencing new cultures, and seeing fascinating sights. But these types of trips require a hugecommitment in the form of time away, energy planning, and/or money spent. Therefore, if we can't afford one of these commitments, we often concede defeat and make peace with the reality we aren't going on vacation.

I'm a huge fan of quick hitters. These are smaller trips that may not be as sexy as a stereotypical vacation, but can offer many of the same benefits for a fraction of the cost. My family is doing a quick hitter as we speak! With zero planning and very little notice, we decided to take a 24-hour mini-trip to Omaha to celebrate the beginning of spring break. Here's a fun little breakdown of the trip:

• 2-hour drive each way: $30 in gas

• 1 night in a downtown hotel: $140

• Hotel parking: $15

• 3 hours of hotel swimming: Free

• Window shopping at a vintage toy store: Free (and priceless!)

• Dinner at an Italian restaurant: $60

• Ice cream at an iconic little shop: $15

• Shopping at one of the coolest candy stores on the planet: $20

• Hotel breakfast: Free

• A few more hours of hotel swimming: Still free

• Walking around a historic downtown book store: Free

• Stop by the children's museum: Free (with reciprocity from our city's science center pass)

• Pastries at a famous little bake shop on the way out of town: $20

$300. That's a lot of memories packed into 24 hours and $300. We don't have to break the bank to create memories and share experiences with those we love. Would I rather be exploring Asia or the Middle East? Absolutely! But that's not in the time or financial budget right now. Therefore, we're going to enjoy the heck out of these little quick hitters when we get them.

I hope you have some epic trips in your future, but don't overlook the quick hitters. They can really move the needle, create tremendous memories, and help get a much-needed reset. Have a great day!

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The Superpower of Humility

We're living in a paradoxical reality. On the one hand, it's becoming increasingly difficult to survive financially. Between stagnant income growth, rampant inflation, record-low housing affordability, spiraling car prices, and several other factors, people are hurting. Not everyone, and certainly not to the same degree, but the cracks are starting to show. There's not enough income to keep the train on track, never mind paying off debt, investing for retirement, or saving for future needs.

On the other hand, there's never been a society in the history of humankind where it's been easier to make money. The internet, social media, and the proliferation of a convenience-based lifestyle have opened up more doors than ever before. Heck, we're a few keystrokes away from contacting nearly any person in the world. If you wanted to, you could send a message to Taylor Swift in the next 45 seconds, and if she wanted to, she could read it two seconds later. That's crazy to think about. With our society wired this way, there are unlimited ways to create an income.

The paradox of this situation is that both realities simultaneously exist. Unlimited income is a few clicks away, but at the same time, so many people are struggling with a problem that is only solvable by making more income. I'm not trying to be insensitive with how I framed this, as I have so much empathy for those who are struggling. Rather, I'm trying to shine a light on a big issue; an elephant-in-the-room issue.

Let's use one of my clients/friends as an example. He's a young guy. He's been married to his wife for just a few years. He's absolutely brilliant and has a pretty good job in a specialized field. His future is bright. However, he has a problem. His family's current income isn't enough. Well, it's technically enough, but it's tight. They have a bunch of debt they want gone, they're having their first child soon (!!!), and they need to financially cover their maternity leave season.

Several months ago, I noticed $2,000 extra in their budget. "What's this?" "Oh, I decided to deliver packages for Amazon. I just downloaded an app, and opt-in to make a delivery run whenever I want." Those might not have been his actual words, but that's what it sounds like in my head. With a full-time career, when does he have time for this?!?! 2:45AM-6:45AM, before his day job begins, three to four times per week.

See what I mean? With our modern technology, he simply downloaded an app, clicks on the deliveries he wants to make, and gets in his car to make some money. So simple!

Oh yeah, there's one more thing: humility. None of this happens without humility. He could have easily played victim, called foul, or treated this type of work as if it were beneath him. But instead, he chose humility. He chose the path less traveled. And that is exactly why he (and they) will win.

Sometimes, we just need to do what we need to do, even if only for a season. It's not always sexy. It doesn't bolster status in social circles. It's certainly not easy. But it's the gateway to the reality we are trying to create.

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To Kill or Not to Kill….Their Dreams

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" It's one of my favorite questions to ask young people. It's an open-ended, sky's-the-limit type of question. During my ten years as a youth group leader, I asked this question to hundreds of kids (6th through 12th grade). I noticed an interesting trend. The younger kids would give me one solid answer, but the older kids (typically 11th or 12th grade) would give me two answers.

For the younger kids, it's simple and confident: "I want to be an astronaut." "I want to be a vet." "I want to be a chef."

For the upperclassmen, it gets muddy. It morphs into something more like this. "I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I want to _______." "I used to want to be a chef, but now I want to ________." If they want to be the second thing they mentioned, why state the first one? Curious, I always ask them this question.

"The first answer is my real answer, but the second is my practical answer." Ah, now we're getting somewhere. Somewhere along the journey, someone killed their dreams. Someone decided this kid needed to think more practical, safer, and more achievable. Maybe it was their parents, or teachers, or friends, or coaches.....but it was probably the parents. Why? Because a child's foundational confidence comes from his/her parents. If the parents believe in the kid, it's unlikely that external forces will knock them down.

Here's the problem. In our effort to protect our kids from failure, struggle, and disappointment, we methodically kill their dreams as they grow up. After all, we want our kids to succeed. And falling flat on their face over and over and over doesn't feel like winning. Therefore, we steer our kids into safe, practical, and reliable career paths. We want our kids to make enough money to live, ideally more than enough. We want them to have security.

I might take some heat for saying this, but I don't care about any of that. I would rather my kids fail miserably in the pursuit of their dreams and callings and struggle to make enough income along the way than sell their dreams for safety, practicality, and security. If living a meaningful life requires them to face risk, adversity, and pain, I'll cheer all day for that.

I have zero aspirations for my kids to be wealthy or attain status. I aspire for my kids to live the most meaningful life possible.....period. I don't know what that means (yet) for them, but I will never kill their dreams. If one wants to be an astronaut, then I need to figure out how best to support that dream and encourage that journey. If the other wants to be a rocker, then I'll figure out how best to support that as well.

In a world where 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, I'll be so proud if my kids end up in the 30% camp....whatever that looks like. Rich or poor, status or none, always living for meaning.

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Crazy Friend Update

A few years ago, I wrote an article about my crazy friend. He's a mess with money. Longtime readers might remember this friend, but if not, I'll summarize their financial situation. The family's annual household income was about $270,000. That's a great income, except their annual household expenses were around $360,000. That means, each year, they spent $90,000 MORE than they made. How did they pull off this feat? Well, debt, of course! At that time, they had accumulated $3.2M of debt....with no signs of slowing down.

This family had a lot of options on the table to right the ship (i.e. close the income gap and hopefully start paying off their debt):

• Increase their annual income.

• Trim expenses to prioritize the items that add the most value to their lives.

• Actually stick to their budget.

• Make sacrifices.

• Live with more humility.

Today, I bring you an update. A lot has changed for this family, financially and otherwise. Curious if they were able to right the ship? Well, here goes! Their annual income increased from $270,000 to $490,000.....huge win! Unfortunately, they somehow managed to increase their annual household expenses from $360,000 to $670,000.....yikes! The net impact of these decisions is a negative $180,000 per year.....oh boy! As you can probably guess, this has led to a disastrous situation on the debt front. If $3.2M of debt wasn't bad enough before, it's now more than $3.6M.

What do you think? Is there any way out of this mess? What would it take for this family to get their crap together and finally face the consequences of their continued indiscretions? Do they need a proverbial slap in the face?

I typically don't name names, but today I will. Want to know who this family is? It's the U.S. government. It's the country we call home. I took the actual numbers and adjusted them to contextually make sense through the lens of a normal family. The ratios are the same. Their $490,000 household income is $4.9 trillion. The $670,000 of household expenses is $6.7 trillion. This results in an annual shortfall of $180,000, or $1.8 trillion. Lastly, the $3.6M of debt is $36 trillion!

It's so easy to gloss over these massive numbers. It's hard to wrap our heads around them. We can't even make contextual sense of a billion, never mind a trillion. But through this lens of a family making nearly a half million dollars per year, failing to meet its monthly needs, and racking up more than $3M of debt along the way......it sounds insane!

Financial irresponsibility is all around us. Nobody is telling us to do it right and get it right. We have wholesale cultural permission to act impulsively, get what we want now, and kick the can of consequences down the road for another day. I think you deserve better than that. That's no way to live. Fortunately, you don't have to. A better reality exists, but it's on the other side of a lot of intentionality, humility, and discipline.

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But Not All the Fun Things

One of my favorite things is receiving random voice memos from Meaning Over Money co-founder Cole Netten. Cole is known for sending long rants that offer a combination of podcast ideas, requests for guidance, or just a general release valve to the madness of our culture around money.

Yesterday's voice memo was a podcast idea. He doesn't know it yet, but it triggered the opposite content idea than originally intended. He highlighted how I often say that it's not the coffee (or other small purchases) that's killing people. Rather, we're burying our financial lives through a handful of key massive decisions. Yesterday's voice memo was to point out (and rant about) how the price of coffee shop coffee is getting so ridiculous that maybe the coffees ARE killing people. Considering I own a coffee company, I was deeply offended by his remarks (haha!!).

He does make a great point; coffees aren't cheap these days! It's not uncommon for people to drop $6-$9 on a single coffee drink. That's the new normal. However, I think it does the topic a disservice when we look at the price of a single transaction in our day and scapegoat it as THE reason we face financial tension.

We can (and should) have fun things, but we can't have ALL the fun things. The coffee alone isn't killing us. We can choose to have the coffee. The clothes alone aren't killing us. We can choose to have the clothes. The problem arises when we decide we want ALL the fun things.

I just had this conversation with a client the other day (and I appreciate them for allowing me to share this on the blog!). One spouse blamed the other spouse for the Starbucks runs killing them. The other spouse accused the first spouse of gas station snack pit stops as the financial culprit. The truth is, neither of those things is what's killing them. Their problem is they are trying to have ALL the fun things, including:

• Daily coffees

• Daily gas station snack runs

• Lots of clothes

• Drinks with friends

• Frequent dining out

• Weekly massages

• Monthly botox

• Frequent phone upgrades

• Country club membership

• 3-4 sports/activities for each kid

• High-end haircuts

• Continuous gun purchases

It's death by a thousand cuts. There's nothing wrong with any of these items IF they add value to their life and are consistent with their values. But for some reason, they've decided they deserve ALL the fun things....and it's crushing their finances (and their marriage).

Where does contentment come into the picture? What about saving/investing? Giving isn't even on the radar. Humility is desperately needed. It's an arms race of more, an unwinnable battle. They are in the thick of it; one day, they will likely wake up and face the harsh consequences of their decisions.

It's okay to enjoy that coffee, or that meal, or that massage. None of these items, in a vacuum, will kill you. You can have fun things. But you can't have ALL the fun things. Discernment is a powerful tool. I hope you feel confident in yours this week.

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Micro Losses, Macro Wins

One of my clients felt frustrated. When I asked her how the most recent monthly budget went, she confessed that she didn't do so hot; she overshot four categories. Curious about this, I told her I would check her numbers quickly. Here's what I found. As explained, she overspent on four different categories in the amounts of $27, $33, $40, and $41.

Sure, that's not ideal. The objective is to spend what we budget, no more and no less. So when she whiffed on four categories, that wasn't the plan. However, she was missing the bigger picture. Upon review, I noticed that while she whiffed on those four categories, her entire budget was within about $25 of her target. That's awesome! In other words, she may have had some micro losses on specific categories, but she was a winner on the macro level.

To prove a point, I checked my own budget. While she missed four categories on her budget, Sarah and I overspent on 13. Yes, 13 separate categories were a miss on our budget. It happens. Life happens. But we rarely get bent out of shape over it. Instead of dwelling on micro losses, we focus on the macro. In the case of our total budget, we were within $100 of the target......which is a win!

Don't psych yourself up over micro losses. So what if you overspent on household goods by $40? So what if you spent $30 more on kids than you had intended? Sure, we should always strive to do better, and we will hopefully do better next month. However, focus on the big picture. It's never going to be perfect. You'll screw up. Life will happen. Unforeseen expenses will pop up. That's called being human.

If we give ourselves permission to experience micro losses, we'll be more inclined to give ourselves grace, focus on the big picture, and achieve what matters more: macro wins!

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Cost, Value, and Your Gut

I've eaten $10 meals that were absolute ripoffs.

I've eaten $300 meals that were bargains.

I've worn $30 jeans that were absolute ripoffs.

I've worn $150 jeans that were bargains.

I've recently beaten the drum of the importance of looking through the lens of value. Not value as in cheap, but value as in something is worth more than we pay for it. Several readers have asked how one would discern if something adds more value than it costs.

Here's my short answer: It's in your gut. You know when you know, and it's highly subjective. For example, that $300/person meal I referenced above was one of the most amazing things I've ever experienced (and I'd do it again in a heartbeat). However, some of you might feel very little value for restaurant experiences and would rather jump off a cliff than spend $300 for a single meal. That doesn't make you right/wrong or me right/wrong.....it makes us different.

As such, we each need to view our decisions and prospective decisions through our own unique lens. There's a gut feel to this cost vs. value tension. My financial coaching service is another great example. I once had a prospective client leave a consultation saying my pricing was the biggest ripoff in the world. One hour later, another prospective client said the exact same pricing structure seemed like a steal of a deal. One wasn't right, and the other wrong; they just had different lenses.

There's no mathematical formula to determine if something adds more value than it costs. So many factors are involved, some of which are intrinsic. There's value seen, and value felt. Value you can quantify, and value you can't. Value you can compare to alternatives, and value that stands on its own.

My encouragement is to always use YOUR gut. Look at your life and your prospective decisions through your unique lens. You won't always get it right. You will sometimes regret a purchase decision because it failed to meet your perceived value. That's ok; we live and learn. Every whiff will help you get better for the next decision. Enjoy the journey!

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Fleeting

Good news: I didn't die! My alumni basketball tournament was a blast. We went 0-3, and it was a humbling experience, but I had a great time. I'm so grateful that my back held up and I was able to compete without significant injury. I definitely lacked confidence and was cautious with my movements, but I think this experience will give me the momentum to keep working toward getting on the court more often.

I didn't anticipate being the oldest team there, but alas, we were the old guys. One of my favorite parts of the day was when we got matched up against a much younger team comprised of kids of my high school classmates. Yes, we played the kids of our peers. There were some great young men in the bunch, and it was fun to interact in that context.

The entire experience shined a glaring light on a reality that haunts us all: time is fleeting. It seems like just two years ago I was playing high school ball, and just like that, I'm playing against grown men who are the children of my classmates. Time is funny like that.

Experiences like this and reminders like today's reiterate the importance of living with meaning. If we just live our lives kicking the can down the road one day, one week, one month, and one year at a time, we'll one day wake up with overflowing regret.

If you're 40 years old, you have maybe 40-50 years left. Of those, how many will allow you the good health and mental cognition to soak in every experience? It's fleeting. Every day brings us one day closer to our end. I'm not trying to be depressing, but rather create urgency. If time is fleeting we ought not waste it.

I so badly want people to seize their best lives and live with meaning. They deserve it. You deserve it. We have one shot at this thing called life, and it's far to short to spend it pursuiring money, stuff, and status.

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On the Other Side of Fear

I spent part of yesterday meeting with an awesome couple experiencing some pretty crazy life changes. To my surprise, the wife said I once told her something that has continuously stuck with her. I don't remember saying it, but it sounds like something I would say. "There's nothing in life worth doing that doesn't involve fear."

We humans tend to treat fear as a warning sign that we shouldn't do something, but I think it's quite the opposite. Fear is a tell that we SHOULD do it. Often, what we want most is directly on the other side of fear. Based on some recent major decisions, this couple is certainly living out this principle. It's exciting - and encouraging - to see.

Coincidentally, I'm about to face one of my biggest fears in a few hours.

14 years ago, I suffered a crippling foot injury. After nearly two months on crutches and countless specialist consultations, it was recommended that I have the nerves cut out of the bottom of my right foot. Thankfully, one surgeon stepped in and pointed me in a better path. Turns out, I had torn a tendon and fractured a joint on the bottom of my foot, causing nerve-damage-like symptoms. That set the table for more than a year of physical therapy, which concluded with a warning that I may never be able to independently walk without wearing a splint. Fast forward about four years, and not only was I walking without a splint, but I had full athletic ability with that foot. I was so grateful!

Then, not long after that, I experienced a crushing back injury. I again spent more than a year in physical therapy, trying to regain a sense of normal again. While I've definitely regained normal day-to-day function, my basketball career ended 10 years ago when that injury occurred. I haven't played one bit of competitive full-court basketball since.

Here's where the fear comes in. Today, I'll be participating in an alumni basketball tournament with some of my old high school teammates. It's been 25 years since I've seen some of them. We're playing in my old high school gym. We'll be playing against teams 20 years younger than us. We'll have at least three games. I'm terrified. This will either be the most fun day of my year, or an unmitigated disaster. You best believe you'll find out which way this goes.

There's something profoundly beautiful about going head-first through our fears. Sure, we could play life safe, taking the easy path at every opportunity. That would certainly save us a lot of failure, embarrassment, and pain. But it would also rob us of meaning and fulfillment.

I really don't want to do what I'm about to do, but I'll be so glad I did it. I hope you have your own version of that in your life soon. Please don't shy away from the fear. Lean into it. Go through it!

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Yes, Too Simple

I ran into a friend at a coffee shop yesterday. It was good to see him, but he had a bone to pick with me. He wasn't actually mad at me, but he did have a problem with yesterday's post. "The thing that bothers me about your content is that you oversimplify things." That was the best compliment I received all week! It made my day!

Here's my beef. Personal finance is typically treated like some sort of above-people's-heads, MBA-level rocket science. In fact, the entire financial industry is constructed that way to convince people they need to hire outside help (you know, the experts!). They are masters at taking simple things and making them complicated. On the flip side, my entire mission is to bring it back the other way and simplify the things that have been artificially made to seem complicated.

Would you believe the buddy I mentioned above is in the financial industry? What a coincidence! Meanwhile, I received a bunch of messages from current and former clients who affirmed the simplicity of implementing yesterday's idea. They said it felt weird at first, but once they recalibrated their life around this new mode of operation, it finally made their finances easy to navigate. Boom!

Simplify, simplify, simplify. If it doesn't seem too simple, it means it's not simple enough yet. I don't know about you, but I have far more important and meaningful things to do in my life than spend my time, energy, and worry on complex finances.

If you're interested in simplifying your finances and need some ideas on where to start, we just published a seven-part series on our Meaning Over Money Podcast called 101 (episodes 405-411). In it, we tackle some of the most foundational topics in personal finance and get back to the basics. Topics include:

• Budgeting

• Navigating lumpy expenses through the use of sinking funds

• Personal spending in marriage

• Managing inconsistent or volatile income

• The power of non-retirement taxable investing

• Life Insurance

• Taxes

If any of these sound interesting to you, check them out. They are 100% free and can be found on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you know someone in your life who could benefit from them, please consider sharing.

I hope you have a meaningful and SIMPLE day. Always remember, you have far more important things to do than spend all your time and energy dealing with your finances. Simplify!

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Taking Timing Off the Table

Have you ever stressed out about the timing of your finances? For instance, your mortgage payment is about to get pulled from your account, and you have a paycheck also arriving soon, and you're crossing your fingers and toes, hoping the paycheck happens first. Sound familiar? That's a tremendously stressful endeavor, and millions of Americans deal with it monthly....or even weekly!

Confession: I don't know what day any of my expenses get pulled from my account.....not one. Sounds pretty irresponsible for someone who helps others get more intentional with finances, right? One of the principles I talk about in my coaching is taking timing off the table.

I teach people to look at life through the lens of calendar months. This month is this month, and nothing else matters until this month is over. We know how much money we'll make this month, and if we're intentional, we'll know how much money will be leaving our account (spend/save/give). As long as those numbers align, we shouldn't have to worry.

Here's where people get tripped up. Our income isn't in our account on day one; it arrives in various increments as the month progresses. This is the wrench that messes us all up. Here's my little hack to not only keep the train on the tracks, but make your financial life so much simpler. Start with a cushion, any cushion. When the month begins, we need a chunk of money in our checking account. $1,000, $3,000, $5,000, $10,000.....I don't care what number you choose, as long as it's enough to prevent you from feeling stressed about timing.

Next, we need intentionality. Once we know how much money is coming in this month, we need a plan for ALL of it. We can spend it, save it, or give it. If we're going to make $5,000, then we need a plan to spend/save/give ALL $5,000. If we're going to make $15,000, then we need to spend/save/give ALL $15,000. We are NOT spending the cushion money; that's just a cushion. We are only spending the money coming in this month. Money in, money out. Once the month is done, we should end with as much cash as we started with.....which becomes the cushion for the following month.

Here's a simple illustration, using $5,000 as the starting cushion and an $8,000 monthly income:

Beginning Monthly Balance: $5,000

Monthly Income: $8,000

Planned Spend/Save/Give: -$8,000

Ending Monthly Balance: $5,000

If we play this out for 20 years, you should wake up on the first of the month 20 years from now with $5,000 in your checking account. You took timing off the table, and life feels a lot less stressful.

This obviously isn't a catch-all for all that ails us financially, but for many families, it can be a game-changer. If we shift our mindset to this way of thinking, timing is never an issue again. Instead, we can stop dwelling on money and simply live a meaningful life.

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Learning vs. Doing

I love learning! Reading books, watching YouTube videos, asking experts.....all of it. For me, there's nothing more beautiful than transitioning from ignorance to competence, from weakness to strength.

However, I'm witnessing a problem develop in our current culture. With unlimited resources at our disposal - often for low or no cost - we're becoming so fixated on learning that we're not actually doing.

We learn how to do something, then learn more about how to do it, then maybe learn a little bit more about how to do it better......and never actually do it. I watch people read six books on a subject, but never put into practice the ideas or concepts they learned.

At some point, it needs to move from our brains to our hands and feet. Knowledge does no good if it's not put into practice. Ignorant action is always more productive than expert inaction.

This is why all the talking heads bother me so much. It's easy to spout off about how people should do this or do that, but where is the fruit? Are they walking the walk, or just talking the talk?

I'm all about educating ourselves and committing to learning new skills and ideas, but my bigger focus is action. Oh yeah, and sometimes failure through doing is the best lesson we can receive. The real world is the ultimate classroom.

My encouragement today is to do. Yes, educate yourself. Digest material, listen to experts, and seek out development......but do! Whatever that thing is in your world today, take action. Even if you're not ready, fully educated, or well-equipped, just do. Put one foot in front of the other and give it your best shot. Trial by fire is a wonderful teacher.

As for me, I have two projects on my plate today that I'm absolutely not equipped to tackle. I'm nervous. I'll probably fail. I'm most certainly going to get frustrated with myself. I'll definitely be seeking research and education on a few nuances along the way. But I'll be doing. One way or another, I'm moving forward. And no matter what happens, I'll be better for it.

I wish you the same today! Have an awesome day!

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