Accountability, But With Grace

A few days ago, I shared my It's Gotta Come From Somewhere principle. When we screw up our budget (when, not if), we can't give yourselves a free pass, nor can we take the path of least resistance by robbing our savings, throwing it on a credit card, or melting away our cushion. Instead, once we blow our budget, our immediate mission is to reallocate cash from a different category to fill the gap.

One nuance I don't think I delivered properly was the importance of giving ourselves grace in the process. Don't beat yourself up. Don't linger on the failure for days, weeks, or months. Don't let it define you. Don't get into constant fights about it with your spouse. Forgive yourselves (and each other!) and move on.

It doesn't have to be one or another. We don't have to choose between dealing with the consequences OR giving ourselves grace. Instead, we should deal with the consequences of our mistakes WHILE giving ourselves grace. Grace does not mean the absence of consequences and accountability, just as the presence of consequences and accountability does not mean the absence of grace.

I work with couples who still can't get over $1,000 mistakes they made nine years ago. Nearly a decade later, they still beat themselves and each other up over it. They've long ago dealt with the consequences of their mistakes, but haven't found a way to offer grace yet.

I'll say something profoundly obvious and simple: We can't live a truly meaningful life if we're dwelling on past financial mistakes. Let's say you made a $1,000 screw-up 12 months ago, and you've been carrying it with you. What you're essentially telling yourself is that your happiness and fulfillment are worth a mere $1,000. I don't think that's true, and you probably don't, either, but your attitude toward the mistake says otherwise.

Here's my challenge for you today. Think about your past financial mistakes, regrets, and screw-ups. Think about each one of them. Which ones weigh on your conscience? Which ones linger within you? Please find a way to give yourself grace and move on. You can't undo what's happened in the past, but you can CHOOSE to stop letting it impair your present.

Accountability, yes. Consequences, yet. But always grace, too.

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Thanks For the Pain!

Some days I have to find my writing inspiration, and some days my writing inspiration finds me. Today is an example of the latter. As I was casually scrolling my social media feeds yesterday, I stumbled upon a post by my friend Teresa. She owns a successful business and continues to grow more excellent each day. Here's an excerpt from her post:

"I'd like to once again take a second to thank my previous employer for laying me off. Every knockdown is just an opportunity to come back even stronger."

Her story is wild, and similar to many epic stories of success, it involves profound pain. It would be so easy for her to wish away all the junk that's happened to her, but at the same time, that same junk is what set the table for what has become a beautiful story.

Had she not experienced the pain, uncertainty, and stress of a layoff (with a baby at home, mind you), I'm not sure she would have developed the vision and courage to launch the business she's now blessed with. Comfort might have lulled her into complacency. "Good enough" could have been the motto of her prime years. She might have conceded that mild misery is an acceptable way to traverse this thing called life.

Instead, though, pain met her head-on! The pain knocked her down, forcing her to take a hard look in the mirror; a glimpse in the mirror she might have avoided if things were merely "good enough."

I can relate to Teresa's experience so much, and I have a feeling many of you can, too. One of the worst experiences of my life was being 3.5 years into my dream career and learning that my company was being shut down. I had also been engaged to my wife for just three days (yeah, that was fun). I had my comfortable life all planned out when I woke up that morning, but by the time I went to bed, I was hurt and scared.

Fast forward 17 years, and I can now confidently say that the most profoundly painful experience in my life was the beginning of the most beautiful journey. NONE of what I have today would be without me having gone through the pain, suffering, and uncertainties brought on by that debacle.

Thanks for the pain! Cheers, Teresa! From one hurt friend to another, I'm so glad you're a living, breathing example of what it looks like to use one's pain for good. People are watching. People are noticing. People will continue to be impacted by your example. Keep pursuing excellence!

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It’s Gotta Come From Somewhere

As the month winds down, Sarah and I realized we bombed a few of our budget categories. Specifically, we totally botched the kids, dining out, and entertainment categories. Part of this was due to the kids' birthday, but another part was just negligence. We fell asleep at the wheel.

It's not ideal, but it's also not the end of the world. With that said, there's still no free pass. As I tell all my coaching clients, "It's gotta come from somewhere." It's okay to whiff on categories every once in a while, but when we do, the money has to come from somewhere. Dipping into savings, tapping credit cards, or further depleting our checking account balance aren't great answers. Instead, it comes down to reallocating money in the budget.

Let's say we overspend on a handful of categories by $500. There's only so much income coming in this month. In other words, we need to figure out where we can find $500. In our particular situation, it's going to come from an important savings goal we established a few months ago. Instead of setting money aside for this particular item, we need to reallocate that cash in our budget to subsidize our mistakes. It hurts, but it's pure.

That sucks, and that's the point! When we don't allow ourselves free passes to be negligent or irresponsible, it provides an added layer of accountability. I hate that we screwed this up, in part, because I hate the consequence of not being able to set money aside for an important purchase. On the flip side, we need this level of accountability so we'll be better next time.

And we WILL do better next time. These things are too important for us to continuously screw up. We made a mistake. We fixed the mistake. Now, we must do it better in October so we can achieve our goal. It's simple, but powerful.

Don't give yourself a free pass. When you screw up, it's gotta come from somewhere. Don't allow yourself to live without consequences or accountability; that's a recipe for disaster! Short-term disaster. Medium-term disaster. And most importantly, long-term disaster.

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Live By the Sword, Die By the Sword

A massive scandal broke out in my city yesterday. Then, in mere minutes, it became a national scandal. Protests were quickly organized, and idealizations of riots were discussed on social media. Then, the inevitable happened. Local companies began drawing lines in the sand and making bold proclamations on their business social media accounts. Not the owners' pages, not the employees' pages, but the actual business pages.

One of my close friends sent me a sharp, but concise assessment that sums up his perspective (and mine): "Live by the sword, die by the sword."

This is a topic I've written about at length. Whenever a company decides to embody human values and shove them down the throats of its customers, two things will inevitably happen:

1. Current and prospective customers who share said values will be immediately attracted to the business. They will throw "support" at the business by posting about it on social media, buying something from the business, and/or giving a good review of the business on Google or another review website. I call this living by the sword.

2. Current and prospective customers who disagree with said values will be immediately revolted by the business.They will likely never engage with this business again, drag the business through the mud with whatever influence they have, and/or give a terrible review. I call this dying by the sword.

Here's the problem about living by the sword and dying by the sword. It's not a zero-sum game. When businesses lose a customer due to these practices, the customers are gone forever (possibly taking others with them). However, when a business gains a customer due to these practices, the customer likely won't remain a customer.

Why? Any "support" someone shows a business as a result of a company projecting certain values is fleeting. It's not builton trust, competency, or tangible value. Relationships not built on excellence are temporary or false relationships. It likely doesn't have legs.

I've watched so many of my friends torch their businesses to the ground by living by the sword and dying by the sword. It doesn't take much to move the needle in a negative direction. At first, it doesn't feel like it's hurting all that much. "I don't need their business anyway." Slowly but surely, though, the business feels the impact. A little this month. A little next month. It's not the end of the world, though! Then, before they know it, it's getting harder and harder to connect the financial dots. I've seen it so many times, and unfortunately, I'll continue to see more of it.

Here's the alternative: pursue excellence. Serve people well. Add value to their lives. Make a positive impact on their day. All the people! The people you love AND the people you might hate (if that's something you're feeling). Just be excellent.....period. Excellence always wins. If we do that, the rest will take care of itself. However, if we decide to live by the sword, we'll eventually die by the sword.

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When the Stingrays Eat Your Fist

We had a great time adventuring around Chicago yesterday. One of the highlights of the day was spending time at Shedd's Aquarium, one of the best aquariums in the country. I remember going there as a kid, and it lived up to the hype that lives in my head. The kids had a blast, and we saw some pretty remarkable things.

One of my personal highlights was watching the boys feed stingrays. If you've never fed a stingray, it's an intimidating task. You take half of a small dead fish (such as a sardine) and close your fist around it, with a good portion of the fish protruding above your fist. Then, you dunk your fist as far under water as possible so the stingray can swim over the fish. Lastly, the stingray opens its mouth as it swims over, snagging the dead fish out of your closed fist.

On the first pass, one of the stingrays practically swallowed Pax's entire fist while trying to grab the fish out of it. Pax looked in shock, but he quickly gained the confidence to try again. Finn was the same way. What started as a scary endeavor quickly morphed into a fun adventure.

I love manufacturing scary situations, both for myself and for my kids. Not fear for fear's sake, but rather, the opportunity to push ourselves past what we thought was possible.

I'm heading back into the Boundary Waters wilderness next week, ready to again face my fears. This will be my 7th or 8th trip there, and I can't say it ever gets easy. It will be cold, wet, physically challenging, uncomfortable, and mentally draining. I'm dreading it. However, at the same time, I also crave it. I need my system to be shocked. I need to face discomfort in the most direct of ways.

Some of the best growth of my life has happened in the Boundary Waters. It's where I discovered true contentment. It's where I realized life isn't meant to be lived in comfort. It's where I found out there's far more in me than I ever knew.

So when I watched my kids struggle to feed those stingrays, all I could do was smile. They were fighting their own battles, facing their own fears. Ultimately, they prevailed and learned some valuable lessons. I hope to do the same thing next week when I face my fears in the wilderness.

That's my challenge for you today as well. Find ways to get uncomfortable, face fears, push yourself in ways you never knew existed. Every time we force ourselves to do scary things, we become the type of person who does scary things. It might start simple, like feeding a stingray or sleeping in 25-degree weather with no tent, but it can quickly morph into the way we approach the bigger things in life: our career, finances, relationships, and parenting.

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Investing In Two Little Banditos

Amidst one of the most challenging stretches of my last five years, I was able to carve out a few days to travel to Chicago with my family. The goal? Attend a Twenty One Pilots show for Finn and Pax's ninth birthday. It cost money, time, rest, and several other not-insignificant sacrifices. It, along with many other things, has added a tremendous amount of pressure to my life.

All that being said, it was so good to lock in a new memory with my kids. We had a blast at the concert (their third Twenty One Pilots concert to date). There's nothing like watching their excitement build, then experience the payoff, one song after another. They screamed, sang, laughed, and reacted with awe. It was amazing.

There are a lot of things I could have used with this money, time, and bandwidth, but I'm glad I invested all of that into making memories with the kids.

That's the tension we face each day. There's always something that needs our money. There's always an obligation that needs our time. There's always a pressure that requires our bandwidth. There's always something that needs some of our something. If we're not careful, we'll get so lost in the needs that we forget about the other important things in life.

Last night, though, the other important things got addressed in my life. I'm grateful for that, and hopefully, it will provide memories that last a lifetime.

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A View to the Other Side

A few weeks back, one of my friends asked me a fairly sharp question. It wasn't meant to be offensive, condemning, or destructive. It was a sharp, but sincere question: "Why do you so aggressively talk about these meaning over money principles when most of the world already agrees with you?"

I thought she was joking! When the rest of the world already agrees with me?!?!? What planet is my friend living on? I asked her a few questions, and here's what I discovered. She's a Gen-Z'er who spends most of her time with other Gen-Z'ers. That generation, stereotypically speaking, believes more in these meaning over money principles than any generation before. In any event, she's inadvertently surrounded by a lot of people who loosely believe that meaning is more important than money.

However, she's also built differently. She oozes meaning. She's passionate about what she does, and her calling is profound. She also carries herself with a lot of contentment.....i.e. the materialistic ways of our culture don't sway her as much as others.

To summarize, though, she generally believes that most people fall in her camp. I hated to break it to her, but she's an odd duck in our modern society. An awesome duck, but an odd duck. I love how she sees the world, but she's the exception, not the rule.

Want to know what the rule is? This is the rule. Check out this short video clip. You can either click THIS LINK or click the image below. If you don't have TikTok on your device, you can open it in a web browser. I would paraphrase it or quote it, but I need you to see it with your own eyes and hear it with your own ears.

@mikemancusi The answer is money. Its always money. #money #moneytok #finance #lifeadvice ♬ original sound - Mike Mancusi

This is what I'm battling every day. Not him. Not this particular man. He might be a great guy. I don't know anything about him, and this is literally the only video I've ever consumed of his. For all I know, he and I could be buds. But his perspective - the sheer bluntness of his perspective - is analogous to what much of our society believes. And when people believe something, their actions typically follow suit.

This brings me to my purview. Every day, I interact with countless people who are making decisions in accordance with beliefs similar to those in this video. It's not going well. At scale, people are making decisions to sabotage their lives and any meaning they could be pursuing. This is leading to record-breaking mental health struggles and an epidemic of Americans disliking or hating their jobs. Depression up. Divorce up. Suicide up. So many bad things....up.

As you navigate your day today, I encourage you to think about this. Which belief system do you subscribe to? Whatever your answer was, what decision patterns are stemming from these beliefs? Is it time to make an adjustment? Whether I know you or not, I desire so much better for you than more money. I'm not against you having more money, but at the same time, I want something for you that money can never buy: meaning and purpose.

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Someone Should Check On Him

I had a doomed conversation in early April. One of my friends, a self-described investing expert (but with a bunch of suffixes after his name to back up his mouth), made a dire proclamation to me. In his words, "the stock market meltdown has begun.....it's time to go all cash." Translation: He, in all his brilliance, was predicting an immediate, all-out stock market crash and planned to sell all his investments to avoid losing money. Further, with his masterful wisdom, he was telling everyone around him (including me) to do the same.

Here's some added context. When he shared his "expertise" with me, it was in the midst of the great tariff scare of 2025. The stock market had experienced a few bad weeks, and people were anxious. The overall stock market was down nearly 20% from the all-time high it experienced just six weeks prior. That's when he sold.

My buddy had personally lost $200,000 (around 17%) and was now sitting on about $1,000,000 of cash in his portfolio. According to him, he was going to let the market continue to crash, and he would swoop back in to "buy the dip."

Five months have passed since he made this decision. Wanna know where we stand today? The market is up approximately 40% since he sold all his investments. 40%!!! The market has hit 24 new all-time highs since his bold proclamation, including a new one yesterday afternoon.

Had he simply done what actual wise investors do (nothing!), his $1M portfolio would be up by $400,000. In his desire to be smarter than everyone else and try to play games with the market, he lost out on $400,000 (!!!!) of upside. All he had to do was nothing. Literally, nothing. When I explained to him that his strategy has a terrible historical track record, he laughed. Today, he's $400,000 poorer because of it.

Someone should check on him. Well, I actually did yesterday. Let's just say "frustrated" would be a gross understatement to describe his state of being. He was so sure he was going to outsmart the market this time. He would have bet his life savings on it. Strike that, he did bet his life savings on it.....and lost.

He's at a loss on how to move forward. Does he now wait until the market falls? Does he just lick his wounds and get the money back working for him? Both options feel like a loss to him. These are the psychological implications of trying to play these sorts of games.

Here's what I told him: "What's done is done. You can't go back and get a redo. However, you can promise yourself you'll never do this again. Call it an expensive lesson. Humble yourself. Don't try to be smarter than everyone else. Invest your money and leave it invested. The market will take care of the rest....eventually."

We'll see where he goes from here, but it's a cautionary tale for all of us. The best investors in the world are the ones who know they aren't smarter than the market. Patience beats brains every day of the week. I have 155 years of history to prove it. Today is a great day to do nothing, and tomorrow is a great day to do nothing, too.

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It’s Just Money: SAHM Edition

I took some heat for yesterday's post about the phrase "It's just money." A few fun responses include, "You're again advocating for irresponsibility," and "It must be nice to not care about money."

In a surprising twist, I received about a half-dozen messages from one particular group of people: Stay-at-home moms and husbands of stay-at-home moms. I didn't necessarily connect these dots when I wrote yesterday's post, but these folks sure did. I'll summarize their takeaway: It's nearly impossible for a family to decide to become a one-income household without implementing the "It's just money" mindset.

Think about that. In more than 90% of situations (by my estimation), a family will end up worse off financially by electing to have one spouse stay at home instead of paying for childcare and having the second spouse work a paid job. In other words, the only way to make the decision for one spouse to stay at home is to acknowledge that other factors are more important to them than having more resources.

Each respondent shared their personal versions of this story. Every version was different, but all included one key theme: Sacrifice. In order to connect the financial dots, every single-income family must decide what gets sacrificed. For some, it's vacations. For others, it's dining out and lifestyle. Some people give up the possible opportunity to retire earlier. Others live in more conservative houses or drive older vehicles.

Regardless of each family's version of sacrifice, the math equation is the same. If a family chooses to have one spouse stay at home with the kids, they will inevitably have less material wealth than had they made the opposite decision. It's just money. I love it!

I can relate to all of these families, as Sarah and I made a similar decision to be a one-income household when we became parents. It hasn't always been easy, financially speaking, but we would have made the same decision 100 times out of 100. It's the biggest no-brainer for us in the world. As a finance guy, I understand the opportunity costs of such decisions, and if I let the materialistic side of me win, we would be much better off financially. However, it's just money. Sacrifices must be made. Values must win out. Meaning must prevail.

Whatever you're up to in this season of life, I hope you're able to feel confident and convicted about meaning prevailing over money. This isn't about me forcing my values on you, but rather, it's about encouraging you to let YOUR values supersede your materialistic instincts so you can live your most meaningful life. Your future self will thank you so much for that gift!

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It’s Just Money

Some of my business partners and I were engaging in an intense conversation. We have some huge decisions ahead of us, and there's a lot on the line. There are so many considerations: risk, upside, impact, mission, and potential pitfalls. In the midst of this debate, I made a controversial suggestion that involved me shifting a large portion of the risk from the company to my personal financial shoulders.

One of my partners expressed concern for my personal finances and the potential negative implications of implementing such an idea.

"It's just money," I responded.

No, I don't want to be irresponsible with what I've been blessed with; that's poor stewardship. However, at the same time, my top priority in life is NOT to accumulate more money, stuff, and status. Ultimately, my mission is to further the mission. And in the case of this particular debate, if it requires me to risk my own personal finances to ensure the long-term success of the mission, then so be it.

This type of attitude is the product of two things:

• The realization that money will not and cannot make us happy. Money can do a lot of things, but our happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment cannot be driven or defined by how much money we accrue in our bank accounts.

• There's nothing more powerful than a mission that matters. When we believe in something and the impact it can have on people, that's the pinnacle of living.

It's just money.

That phrase can save us from a lot of heartbreak. It's so easy to let financial mistakes and failures beat us down. We think about it and say to ourselves, "I wish I wouldn't have done that!" Ultimately, though, what did it really cost you? Yeah, a few hundred dollars is a few hundred dollars. Yeah, a few thousand dollars is a few thousand dollars. It's not nothing. It might have some heft to it. However, life is about so much more than money.

Please don't let money be the driving force behind your perspective. Don't let money make you sad.....and don't let money make you happy. Don't let money define you as a failure......and don't let money define you as a winner. Don't let money guide you into decisions you otherwise wouldn't feel proud making. Don't let money distract you from your mission.

Yes, let's be good stewards. Yes, let's try to make wise choices. And YES, always stay true to the mission. It's just money.

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Lessons From a Linebacker

Our family attended a local high school football game last night. It was the two public schools in our town, facing off against one another in the annual rivalry game. Both schools are some of the largest in the state. There were an estimated 10,000-12,000 in attendance at the stadium. Yeah, not the high school football I grew up with. 

One of the highlights was watching Finn and Pax's flag football coach, who is a player on one of the teams. He's a good kid. The boys loved playing for him, and I thought he seemed like a great young man. 

Here's what I know about his particulars:

"Hi, I'm Travis. I'm Finn and Pax's dad."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Dawson."

"What year are you?"

"I'll be a junior."

"What position do you play?"

"I play linebacker."

Short, sweet, clear. 

We were excited to see if he would be at the game. We checked the program: "Dawson, Junior, LB, #6." We found our guy on the sideline! We knew he was in the house, but would he play?

As the defense stepped onto the field for the first time, he trotted out. He's starting! We were excited to see him. Would he get much action? Then, it began…..

Tackle.

Another tackle.

Crushed the quarterback.

The crowd is wildly yelling his name.

Another tackle.

He was one of the most hyped guys on the sidelines, wildly cheering on his teammates and amping up the crowd. 

They put him in at running back.

He scores a long touchdown.

More tackles.

He seemed to live in the heart of the action on nearly every snap.

Crushed another guy.

Sack.

Another sack on the next play.

He's a madman!

I turn to Google. The moment I typed in his name, a series of articles popped up about how he was named all-state as a sophomore (a sophomore!) and is a returning leader on one of the best teams in the state. I had no idea!!!!

All this from a kid who just casually told me he's going to be a junior and plays linebacker. He could have told me all about his accolades and status. He could have let me know who he is. He could have made sure I knew he was the man. Instead, he was just him. He was a player on the football team, and he was coaching my kid. I respect him so much for this. He was a wonderful coach, and my kids still talk about him all the time. Did I mention I respect the heck out of this kid?

I think we can all take a page out of Dawson's playbook. Let our actions speak for us. Be humble with our mouths and impactful with our actions. Less talking, more walking. Proud of you, Dawson. You got a supporter in me, and a couple little boys over here that you've impacted more than you know. Grateful for the way you carry yourself; people are watching.

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Never Offend For Sport

After a quiet morning on the e-mail front, I received a deluge of feedback in the afternoon regarding yesterday's post. I knew it was coming, but it was more aggressive than anticipated. I certainly knew I would receive backlash, which is part of the reason I haven't published about that topic much until now. However, after a few engaging conversations with friends, I felt the nudge to suck it up and engage in the topic.

Two ideas come to mind when I think about receiving backlash:

1. A wise mentor once told me, "Travis, you're always going to offend someone, so just make sure it's the right someones." Dang!!!! It's true, though. We will inevitably offend people along the journey, one way or another. It's a when, not if. If that's true, we might as well offend people by being truthful to ourselves.

2. I never offend for sport. It breaks my heart when I offend people. I never set out to offend or hurt people. I try to make sure that when I speak, my intentions are pure. If I'm going to say something that could possibly be received as offensive, I'm going to do it with a mission in mind. In situations like yesterday's post, the mission is to challenge people to think about a certain topic through a particular lens.

In a time when offending people seems to be a game, sport, and hobby, I recommend we try a different strategy. No, we'll never completely avoid being offensive to some people at some times. There's no way to avoid it. However, we can take a different approach. Aim for sincerity and let the chips fall where they may.

I hope you regularly feel challenged by my posts. I hope I give you something to think about. I hope it even inspires you from time to time. I never intend to offend. However, if I do offend you, please know that's never my mission. I never want to offend for sport.

Have an awesome day!

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Where Should It Go?

In yesterday's post, I posed a question. I challenged each reader to consider, with a completely clean slate, where their assets should go when they die. If you could draft a plan with no preconceived notions, where would the assets go? Oh yeah, I also gave three caveats:

1. We're talking about who gets it AFTER your spouse. Pretend your spouse is also gone.

2. Your kids are grown, and they no longer depend on your financial care.

3. You have something of substance left when you pass.

I've asked hundreds of people this question, and more than 9 out of 10 will say something along the lines of "equally split between my kids." Why? Because.

Well, where should it go? First, I need to clarify one thing. Your assets should go wherever you choose for them to go. The decision is 100% yours. Not mine. Not your family members'. Not your lawyer's. Yours and yours alone.

With that said, I want to share some thoughts to get you thinking today.

I've always loved the phrase, "fair is not equal and equal is not fair." We aren't obligated to give the same amount to each of our beneficiaries. There might be various reasons why one would give more to one child than the next. Don't allow pressure, guilt, or obligation guide you.

On a related note, I think we need to revisit the notion that all money is a blessing, and if all money is a blessing, more money is an even bigger blessing. The truth is, money has the ability to cripple us, enable us, self-destruct us, and zap any and all forms of meaning right from our souls. I watch it play out on a weekly basis. There's nothing that can crush the ambition of some people like the arrival of money.

If you're planning to give money to someone, consider giving it while you're still alive. There might be a season of your beneficiary's life that's better suited or more needed for such a gift. Besides, how beautiful would it be to see it with your own eyes!?!?

I have a tough question for my fellow Christian friends. If everything we have belongs to God (a core principle of our faith), why would we give all our assets to our family when we die? If everything we have is His, but yet our last act on this planet is to ensure our family retains His assets, does that seem aligned with the God's ownership principle?

I'll share my family's plan. When Sarah and I pass away, nearly everything will be given to our charitable trust to be given away. Our two little men, who will hopefully be strong, faithful men by then, will be entrusted to manage the giving of the money during their lifetimes. Further, I pray the example we set for our kids will inspire them to follow suit when they pass away, entrusting their children with a similar responsibility.

Again, you need to 100% make your own decision on this matter. But I hope I gave you something to think about today.

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Where Does It Go?

Let's dabble in the theme of death again, shall we? An interesting question was recently brought up in a group conversation. "Where do you want your money to go when you die?"

Everyone around the table quickly and instinctively answered:

• "Evenly between my kids."

• "Split between my kids."

• "To my kids. Evenly, of course."

• "50% to one kid and 50% to the other."

All four people had the exact same answer, without thought or hesitation. "Why?" I asked the group.

• "Isn't that what everyone does?"

• "Because that's what I'm supposed to do, right?"

• "I never thought about that question."

• "Are there other options?"

Nobody had a good reason. By default, we instinctively believe that splitting our assets evenly between our children is the best and correct path for each of us. But why?!?!? Nobody really seems to know.

I have lots of thoughts on this topic.......which I will share in due time. Today, though, I want you to ask yourself the same two questions:

• "Where do I want my money to go when I die?"

• "Why?"

Caveats to this question:

• Unless we're a mixed family, it's almost a given that our first beneficiary is our spouse. My question applies to the next level, after your spouse. Assume you're both gone.

• Assume your children are grown. This isn't an I-die-while-my-kids-are-young type question. Kids are grown and independent adults (i.e., they no longer depend on your financial care).

• You have something to give. Don't assume you'll have nothing. Let's pretend there's something of substance left when you pass.

Please take five minutes to think about this topic today. Really think about it. Throw all preconceived notions out the window and start from scratch. You have a blank canvas and can paint any picture you want. What does it look like? Please feel free to share your answers with me…..or keep it to yourself for now. If you want to share, you can hit “reply” to this e-mail or drop a comment at the bottom of the webpage. Then, tomorrow, I'll send part two your way (including my own perspective).

Have an amazing day, full of meaning and impact! Also, don't die. Not yet. There's still so much good work to be done.

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Easier to Just Stay At Home

In just a few hours, I'll be the keynote speaker at an event I've wanted to speak at for several years. Hundreds of the most influential Christian business leaders in our state will be in attendance. I'm really, really, really excited.......

.......and I'm really, really, really nervous. It would be easier to just stay at home. I've been planning this talk in my head for months and preparing for it for weeks. I'm going to share some challenging ideas and encourage some radical shifts when it comes to the pursuit of excellence.

Can I just be frank and tell you I'm terrified? Yeah, it would definitely be easier just to stay at home. If I were to stay home today, there's zero chance I could fall flat on my face and face a giant embarrassment. On the flip side, staying home also ensures I don't make a difference. Staying home would be me turning in my permission slip to help people. Staying home would all but guarantee I don't fulfill my purpose today.

It sure would be easier to stay at home, though!

Whatever you're called to do today, this week, or this month, don't just stay at home. Put yourself out there. Face your fears. Risk failure. Take a swing and see how the chips fall. You might just impact some lives along the way!

As for me, I hope to rejoin you tomorrow morning with less stress, more composure, and a lack of stories about failure and embarrassment. Have a great day, all!

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Permission Granted

My inbox and phone have been flooded with messages over the past few days. People are struggling with all sorts of emotions right now. One particular message hit especially hard.

"Travis, for the last few years I thought your meaning over money message was stupid. It felt like a cheap way out of taking personal responsibility and doing the right thing for your family. I felt like you were being a wimp and taking a loser route. But last week something changed in me. I started looking at my life and realized I only do what I do for the money. Other than that I feel like my life is meaningless. I'm not doing any good for the world. I'm just living for me and that needs to change, but I don't feel like I have permission to take a different path this late in the game."

Welcome to the club, my man! We're so good to have you. Permission granted! I get why so many people roll their eyes at these ideas and principles. I understand why I get so much criticism. I don't take it personal......anymore.

It's never too late to choose meaning over money. It's never too late to turn the tables over and start afresh. It's never too late to reject society's notion of normal to pursue the path less traveled. It's never too late to take stock of what matters most, then refocus your life toward that.

God will use all things for good; even the bad stuff. Scratch that, especially the bad stuff. Nothing is wasted in God's economy. I deeply hope this man takes this nudge and runs with it. I hope this is the beginning of a beautiful story that will unfold in front of his family, friends, and everyone he has the privilege of interacting with. He doesn't need my permission to act, but perhaps my encouragement will give him the confidence he needs to get started.

You don't need permission, either. However, if you're looking for it, I'll give it to you in the form of encouragement. Life is too short and too important to allow money to drive our decisions. Perhaps it's time to let meaning take the wheel.

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Noisy But Quiet

I returned home on Friday night from the Nebraska cattle ranch I've been working with. My first order of business yesterday was to spend some time at Northern Vessel. The weather was perfect and the sun was shining.

However, I noticed something the moment I walked into the shop. Despite the place being absolutely packed (which is normal), the energy was off. Hundreds of people flowed in and out of the shop, but at the same time, it felt empty. As one of our baristas put it, "noisy but quiet."

People were still spending time with loved ones. People were still enjoying their free day. People were still consuming tasty beverages. But something was off. You could cut the tension with a knife. Perhaps it was just me? I chatted with a dozen different people, each saying the same thing. Everywhere they've been has felt similar: noisy but quiet.

Maybe that phrase not only applies to rooms, but to people as well. Noisy but quiet. That's how I'm feeling. I have lots going on right now. I am serving countless people. I'm leading businesses. I'm trying to make solid decisions. I'm preparing for speeches. I'm creating content. It's noisy. However, it's quiet. Inside me, it feels quiet. The energy is off. I can cut the tension inside my soul with a knife.

We ALL go through times like these. Different events, seasons, and situations can trigger it for each of us. We might feel perfectly well one moment, and just like that, life feels different the next.

I don't claim to be an expert on this topic, but I'll share the little wisdom I possess today. During times like these, we need to keep moving forward -- step by step, one foot in front of the other. The only other option is to cower and whither away, and nobody wins when we select that option. Therefore, I'll just take one step today. I hope you do the same.

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If My Life Ended Today….

I separately shared conversations with two of my best friends yesterday. Both of them expressed a sense of being shaken up by recent events, particularly driven by the fact that they are both the exact same age as Charlie Kirk. It was the first time either of these men had thought about their mortality in such a raw way. One of these guys said he's been pondering the following question: "If my life ended today, what would I have to show for it?"

That's an intense question! How would you answer? I've written multiple times on this blog about how I've always felt I’d experience a premature death. I don't know why I think that, but it's something I've pondered for decades (so far, so good!). As such, I've been thinking about this question for quite some time.

Here's one thing I know. I haven't waited until "later" or "someday" to do the things I'm called to. Faith will always prevail. Even at our own detriment, Sarah and I have made tough choices to follow a challenging path. A path that's led to much fruit. Lots of struggle, but so many blessings. We've wilfully and knowingly made things difficult for ourselves. However, we did so at the hands of our calling. While I can't be certain, I hope others (including my two children) would internalize that principle and use it to alter their own life choices. I pray that's something beautiful I can leave behind.

Here's one thing I won't leave behind: regret. I am deeply committed to leaving no regrets on the table. I'm not scared of many things in life (except for maybe snakes), but I'm deeply terrified of regret. Regardless of when my life ends, I pray I close my time on earth with no regrets.

Tomorrow is not promised. Every tomorrow is a blessing. Every tomorrow is an opportunity to live our calling, now. Every tomorrow is a challenge to eradicate future regret. I hope to see you again tomorrow, but if I don't, I can promise you I left it all on the field.

I don’t mean to sound morbid with this post, but I pray this spurs a conversation within yourself today.

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Not Throwing It Away…..Today

I'm still reeling. These last few days have been absolutely brutal. Yesterday's blog post was the shortest post I've ever written. I simply had no words. The tank was empty; I was completely drained. Again today, I don't feel great. I have a lot of emotions spinning in me. Like so many others, my instinct is to react. My gut says to explode. Every ounce of me wants to let people have it.

However, at the same time, I keep thinking about this idea I podcasted about more than three years ago. It's an idea I think about often, but today, more than ever, this idea remains foundational in my life. We each have a choice:

1. We can explode with anger, vengeance, and frustration. We can tell people off, make ridiculous social media posts, or leave nasty comments on other people's posts. We can unleash our opinions on the world, leaving a wake of wreckage in our path, essentially throwing away any influence we ever had with people in our circle.

2. We can navigate life with a posture of restraint, retaining influence in people's lives. While we might hate their opinions and behaviors, and we won't get the instant (but fleeting) satisfaction of telling them how dumb they are acting, we can keep the right to be a positive influence in their lives.

I'm teetering between #1 and #2. Every ounce of me wants to lash out. However, doing so will require me to throw away any and all influence on many people's lives. Looking at it the other way around, there are countless people in my life that I will likely never trust again after this week. Any influence or equity they had in my life has been torched. It's sad, but true. Perhaps they don't care, but it's still sad.

In order to keep a proper perspective, I went back and listened to that episode (Episode 131 of the Meaning Over Money Podcast, dated 6/27/22). It's weird listening to your own voice to gain insights, but I gotta do what I gotta do. I fully encourage you to listen as well. That episode feels more timely than ever. You can find it on APPLE, SPOTIFY, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Today, I'm going to choose restraint. I hope I choose restraint again tomorrow. Every day is a new battle. Keep fighting the fight, retaining influence on other people's lives. Your influence matters.

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Few Words

I have few words today, friends. After the recent public and cold-blooded murders of Iryna Zarutska and Charlie Kirk, plus another senseless school shooting, I lack everything I need to write today's post. My encouragement is zapped. My wisdom is futile. I have nothing remotely funny or clever to say. The tank simply feels empty.

This appears to be a fork in the road for all of us. Do we continue down the road of anger, violence, and vengeance? Or do we find common ground and show each other dignity? After scrolling social media last night, I'm afraid to answer that question. Further, as I search my own soul and have a glimpse of what's inside me, I'm also scared to personally answer my own question.

Whatever today brings, try to go to bed tonight on the positive side of the ledger. Leave the world better than you found it today.

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