The Daily Meaning
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When the Legs Go Numb
I don’t believe in allowances. From a behavioral science perspective, allowances teach kids they are entitled to something. That’s not how the world works, though. Earning money requires work. Hard work. Sometimes undesirable work.
You’re Still An Author
Each day, when you wake up, you're the author of your journey. Every decision you make, every encounter you have, every challenge you face, and every win you celebrate each represent an excerpt in the story you're writing.
The Unlikeliest of Inspiration
Then, he added something else. "Do you know the Mickey Christmas Carol movie? That's what made me interested in helping people who are poor and don't have homes. They talked about it on there, and I was really interested. Giving stuff to people for free and helping them."
All Roads Lead Back to Childhood
One theme was clear through your feedback, and the same goes for most things in our lives: All roads lead back to childhood. What we perceive as normal, and the rituals we practice, can largely be attributed to our growing-up experience.
You’ll Never Be Ready
I recently saw a stunning yet not surprising statistic. The U.S. birth rate is at a 75-year low. We're having half as many babies as we did in 1950 (12 per 1,000 people now vs. 24 per 1,000 people then). Even crazier, the birth rate has decreased every year since 1988. Wild!
The Memory Paradox
There's a paradox with memories, though. Memories don't actually cost anything. Spending money isn't a prerequisite for creating memories. Now, if you want to create memories at an amusement park or concert, then yes, it will cost something. But spending money isn't what makes a memory.
Closing the Loop
This is where so many of us whiff. Whether it's ourselves or in our parenting, we don't close loops with finances. We take shortcuts, stop short of fully completing goals, and inadvertently rob ourselves (and our kids) of the tangibility.
Heartbreak. Joy. Impact.
What makes you angry? What breaks your heart? What makes you sad? What puts a knot in your stomach? What gets you fired up?These are some of the questions I ask people when they are interested in giving, but don't know where to start.
Encountering the Fork
This is a test, a turning point, a fork in the road. If he ultimately chooses to walk away from something because it's difficult, that could easily become his mode of operation. If something gets hard, quit. If the next thing gets hard, quit.
Why Must You Taunt Me, Apple?
As I attempted to write today's post, my phone oddly and repeatedly reminded me of past photos. Hey look, Travis, it's a cute picture of Pax eating ice cream when he was 3! Travis, check out this handsome little 2-year-old Finny riding a boat. It was almost as if Apple and Father Time were teaming up to taunt me.
No Paybacks
On a recent trip to KC, Sarah and the boys visited the Truman Library. Pax wanted to purchase a souvenir, but he didn't have his money with him. Sarah, knowing he had at least that much money in his wallet at home, agreed to buy it for him and we would take the money out of his wallet when they returned home (i.e. pay it back). That's what happened, buyer’s remorse set in, and that's what ultimately led to the meltdown.
Period.
As we were on our way to the science center yesterday, my family enjoyed a quick lunch at a downtown patio. Toward the end of our meal, a young woman approached us, looking distressed. "I'm sorry, and I'm really embarrassed to even ask, but I could really use some help. Do you have a few dollars you could give me?”
I Won't Be Stealing His Blessing
As he divided up the money into three components (spending, saving, and giving), he turned to me and said, "Dad, I'm going to use my giving money to buy you a new battery so you can fix your watch." I've been wearing a broken watch for a few months now. I have other watches, but this one is my favorite. Unfortunately, though, the battery died. So, at this point, it's for aesthetics only.
Remorse is Setting In
As they each opened their wallets to deposit their spending cash, they were welcomed to an empty cavern where money used to live. They were immediately upset at the idea of having no spending money (except for the cash they just earned). Sarah reminded them that they spent all their money on the 4th of July. I could see disappointment and buyer's remorse take over their expressions.
Cultivating the Next Generation of Stewards
One of the main questions I get asked about is how to teach kids about money. Most parents don't actually teach kids about money, and the ones who do typically do so in the most toxic of ways. I don't usually say anything when I see terrible teaching play out because, well, they didn't ask for my opinion. But since I have a platform, today I'll be sharing the way I recommend teaching it. First, I'll share a few key principles that I believe are essential:
Leading Kids to (Financial) Hoarding
Do you see a theme? Guilt and shame. Not intentionally, usually. Slowly but surely, we're chipping away at their hearts for spending and generosity. We're trying to help them be "responsible" with money, but what we're really doing is grooming our kids to financially hoard. Get more. Have more. Build wealth. Become "independent.”
Suffer Now or Suffer (More) Later
Can we be honest? It's hard to watch our kids learn hard lessons. To watch them suffer, hurt, and face the consequences of their actions. We love our kids, and our instinct is to protect them from pain. With that said, we have two options: watch them suffer when they are young (when we're there to help them navigate and grow), or watch them suffer in adulthood (when the stakes are higher, the consequences steeper, and we're not there to save them).