The Daily Meaning
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Walking the Line Between Guilt and Growth
Welcome to the unexpected third installment of the unexpected three-part series about parenting and money. Thanks to Pax’s broken arm and a lot of reader feedback, this has turned into a fantastic discussion. Over the past few days, I’ve received a lot of questions and wonderings from parents. Many share a situation relevant in their life, then ask if it’s perpetuating guilt or growth. In short, there are a lot of parents doing a lot of good parenting…..in less-than-ideal circumstances. I thought it would be worthwhile to share one common example, as it carries a lot of parallels to many different scenarios we as parents may find ourselves in.
"Daddy, When Does the New Month Start?"
I was expecting a lot of feedback after yesterday’s post, and I was not disappointed. Some people had some questions. Some people shared their own experiences and how it’s negatively impacted them for literally decades. Some people had mixed feelings about my advice. Some people, who use money as a weapon with their kids, defended using money as a weapon with their kids. Lastly, some people interpreted the post as me advocating that we as parents not talk to our kids about money. This is where today’s post comes in.
Don't Let Your Kids Wear It
As the parents of twin boys, our household motto for the last six-and-a-half years has been, “hurt, not injured.” We have a lot of hurts. Bruises, cuts, bumps, and blood…..almost daily. LOTS of hurts. Fortunately, we’ve avoided injury, until now.
You Just Never Know
Just a handful of years ago, I was at a high school girls' basketball game cheering on some of my youth group kids. They were playing against one of their biggest rivals, which is always a fun game to watch. It was one of those years where their rival had a really solid team, led by a uniquely talented player. I remember watching that game and thinking, “I bet she’ll have some success at the next level.” My suspicions were right, but I was also so wrong. Not only would she “have some success.”, but she would go on to become the best women’s basketball player in the world. Caitlin Clark, man!
It's Never Too Late (or Too Early)
Young adults have an amazing opportunity when it comes to getting control over their finances. So many things are working in their favor:
Generous Tomorrow, Generous Today
A very common line of thinking I observe with people is this notion of building wealth today…..then being generous down the road (*if/when/after they achieve a yet-to-be-determined level of wealth, income, or other financial achievements to be named at a later date). It’s spoken as if building wealth or reaching a certain status is a prerequisite to generosity. While I disagree with this sentiment, I do think there is one prerequisite to generosity: having a pulse. Tall bar, I know. If we’re breathing, we should be generous…..period. Not IF we have a certain net worth. Not WHEN we’ve achieved a certain lifestyle. Not AFTER we’re attained a certain income. Generous today, wherever you are.
Finance Bros and Tax Refunds
March is my favorite time of year. Warmer weather, March Madness, and arrogant finance bros on social media belittling people for getting tax refunds. “You just gave an interest-free loan to the government!!!” “What was the opportunity cost of those lost paychecks!?!?” “Screw the man!!!”
"But What Certifications!?!?"
I’ve shared this story with a handful of people, each of which who voiced their displeasure for me not blogging about it yet. So, here goes! A while back I met a couple who was potentially interested in pursuing a coaching relationship with me. When I asked them how they found me, they explained how multiple people in their lives have shared how their work with me has been transformational in their life. I’m always grateful for these stories, though I always feel like I get too much credit.
To Be Or Not To Be (Your Own Boss)
Yesterday, an interesting and unexpected topic came up in my high school money class. A few students mentioned wanting to someday start their own businesses. This is when another student made a few counter-cultural comments. She expressed her confusion about why so many people want to run their own businesses, citing their typical lack of enjoyment and lack of skillsets in the area of actually running the business. Many students were quick to defend the be-your-own-boss concept, citing freedom and control as primary reasons.
"But I Care!!!!"
I’m on the board of directors for multiple organizations, or as a few of my mentors call it, “too many.” For me, there’s something special about non-profit organizations. It brings together a collection of people with different skills and different experiences, each willing to donate a ton of time with absolutely zero to gain in return. There’s something pure about it, but at the same time, it’s oftentimes excruciatingly chaotic.
Coming Full Circle in Omaha
I had an awesome time speaking at the Omaha YP Summit, the country’s largest young professionals conference. Nearly 1,600 people gathered from Omaha (and beyond) to connect, grow, learn, and have fun. I felt really good about my talk and was tremendously encouraged by the feedback.
First Things First
Whenever I post a video clip on social media (like this one) about the importance of pursuing meaning, I know I will get at least one reply of the following (paraphrased): “That’s a privileged thing to say. Some people are just trying to make ends meet.” I have three thoughts about this:
Facing Fears Head-On
I didn’t really sleep last night. I couldn’t get my brain to shut off after delivering my talk at the DSM Small Business Success Summit. The event was good, I think my talk went well (haven’t watched the film yet), and I received a lot of positive and powerful feedback afterward. What made the day so odd is what happened next. I drove home, changed into casual clothing, and immediately started preparing for my next talk (which is tomorrow). Only this time, the audience will likely be 10x the size.
What is Success?
Later today, I’ll be speaking at the DSM Small Business Success Summit. My talk is called What is Success?: Aligning Your Mission with Your Meaning. In it, I’m going to challenge people to throw out the traditional and cultural measuring sticks of success (sales, margins, profits, growth, etc.), and replace them with what really matters. Not what matters to me but rather what matters to them. What really matters.
Ignorance is Bliss, Until It's a Nightmare
Whenever I start working with a new client, there’s a moment early on when they have more money stress and tension than they did before we started working together. On the surface, it seems like the coaching is counter-productive. After all, the whole point of this coaching concept is to make things better…..not worse. There’s a universal truth in all this. Ignorance is bliss. Many people have very little day-to-day tension and stress when it comes to money. It’s not because their finances are in a good place, but rather because, “out of sight, out of mind,” as the saying goes.
It Always Makes Sense.....In Hindsight
Yesterday was the first session of a financial class I host for our church’s youth group students. This is our 10th year, and it’s always one of the highlights of my spring. In the first session, we cover God’s ownership, contentment, and the difference between needs and wants. As we were talking about needs vs. wants, we had what is always a fun conversation. Many needs and wants are clear. Food = need. Video game = want. Clothing = need. Luxury clothing = want.
Curating the Life of Your Dreams
“I thought you were successful.” These were the interesting words spoken by a friend after driving by my house and seeing where we live. Wow…..and ouch! It never ceases to amaze me what people say to me. Perhaps it’s the consequence of living more of a public life and sharing a fair amount of myself through our content? In any event, wow…..and ouch!
It's Why You Play the Game
Coming into today, only one time in 151 opportunities has a #16 seed beat a #1 seed in the NCAA tournament. Enter Fairleigh Dickinson University. I just witnessed them take down #1 Purdue in stunning fashion.
"I Get To Go to Work"
Years ago, a friend shared with me his dream of someday transitioning into a different career. This thing was his passion. Over the years, he was working jobs he didn’t necessarily love, but they paid the bills. Simultaneously, he worked on his craft as a side hustle and eventually returned to school (part-time while he worked full-time) to pursue his dream career.
When Nothing Is Beneath Us
Yesterday, I spent about 10 hours at a client’s office working on a big project they contracted me to do. It’s fascinating work and it allows me to use a lot of the skills I developed during my prior career. The work challenges me, pushes me to get creative, and puts me in positions where I need to fight through roadblocks and frustrations. Overall, it’s been tremendously rewarding and I’ve learned a ton.