Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday! No, I'm not talking about Frosty. I never really understood that part (3 times!) when Frosty blurted out "Happy Birthday" to himself. Also, was his memory wiped each time his magic hat was removed? Anyway, enough with the Frosty tangent.

Today is a big day. I love Christmas. I love the movies, lights, foods, decor, traditions, and music.....all of it. It's the one time of year I feel the intentional nudge to slow down. But today is another big event. It's Jesus's birthday! Amidst all the typical Christmas celebrations and traditions this time of year, in our house we try to always point the focus back to the real meaning of Christmas: Jesus.

He may be the only human in history who, instead of receiving gifts, brought the gift.....the ultimate gift. He was born among us so he could sacrifice himself for us. If you're a Christian, please don't let this get lost in all the fun and celebration today. As for us, we'll have a typical Christmas day. Presents, movies, food, and NBA games (of course!). But we'll also take a moment to place a few candles in cupcakes (or Little Debbie tree cakes based on what I'm seeing in our pantry) and sing Happy Birthday to the one worth celebrating. It's a fun little way to pause, remember, and refocus on what this season is all about.

Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you have the most wonderful day.

We Can’t Have Special Without Boring

Let's be honest. Most days are normal (i.e. boring). We wake up in the same place, eat the same food, do the same things, see the same people.....and repeat. I'm not knocking it, as I'm a creature of habit, but it's true. Yesterday, though, was a different day. I enjoyed some coffee on the couch with the family, knocked out some year-end business admin work, played Madden with Pax, went to Northern Vessel for some delicious drinks, took the kids outdoor ice skating, went snail shopping (weird development), grabbed take-out pizza, and finished the night by watching the Grinch.

Not all days are created equal. Something about yesterday really got to me. While most days fly by and are gone before I know it, I found myself savoring the little moments yesterday. It felt different. It felt special.

It would be easy to wish every day to be like yesterday; it can't be. The normal of life is what makes those special days special. If every day were special, then no day would be special. That's why we shouldn't overlook or demean our normal, day-to-day life. It's the normal that creates the special. That's why going out to a nice restaurant is special.....because it's not normal. If we went to a nice restaurant every night, it would just be called dinner.

This, in part, is what makes the Christmas season so meaningful. We wait, and wait, and wait, all year, until it finally arrives. It's the anticipation. It's the wait. It's the scarcity. Then finally, it's here!

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone! I hope you have a special day filled with special memories. And remember, these types of days are only special because of the normal life we get to live. Embrace the normal and be grateful for it. That's what lays the foundation for the special.

Have an amazing day!

The Slavery of Comfort

Several years ago, one of my friends created a product that I believed was revolutionary. He found the solution for a widespread problem, created a product that addressed it perfectly, and was on the precipice of introducing it to the world. He had so much passion and heart for this idea. He even referred to it as a calling. One problem: He didn't have the time to invest in the launch and implementation. Well, that wasn't the problem, exactly. The problem was how to create the time. The short version of the story is that he needed to scale back or quit his day job. Translation: he needed to take a temporary pay cut to fully make the transition.

His family lived a very comfortable life. Nice house, nice cars, and all the other things that go hand-in-hand with a comfortable life. Taking a pay cut was a tricky proposition, as living a life as comfortable as his is not cheap.

Seeing how special this new opportunity was and how badly he desired it, I had a novel idea for him. Cut back on the lifestyle. There were several ways he could have achieved it. Downgrade his cars. Buy a different house. Spend less on luxuries. He hated these ideas. He was adamant that all of these ideas were non-starters for his family. He even added, "We're not being called to sell our house or cars." Ah, yes, I forgot about the part where God tells us to aggressively pursue comfort! My bad.

You can probably guess what happened next. His dream died. He latched onto his comfortable life and let his calling whither away. He remained in a job that he largely disliked. He continued to wake up each morning merely tolerating what he was about to do. But hey, at least his life was comfortable. At least he retained all the symbols and signals that tell the world he's wealthy and successful.

He, like millions of Americans, is a slave of comfort. It's one of the ultimate ironies. The more comfortable we are, the more entrapped in our comfort we become. We will give up nearly everything for comfort. We give up our dreams, callings, financial freedom, mental health, and even our relationships.

Worse, the entire idea of comfort is a moving target. What's comfortable today will seem blah tomorrow. I have friends who now live in their third "forever" home. Or the couple who built the house of their dreams (6 bed / 5 bath), only to sell it 18 months later, after becoming pregnant (because that house "won't be big enough for a family of four"). There's always something newer, faster, shinier, bigger, and more comfortable. It doesn't end.

Unfortunately, every aspect of our society tells us to pursue comfort above all else. We're slaves to it. It traps us. We can have comfort or progress, but we can't have both.

My strongest encouragement is to choose discomfort. It will change you....and you will change others.

It’s Possible…..If You Believe

I recently met with a young couple who are frustrated with their finances. They are early in their careers with lots of potential, but with one elephant-in-the-room problem: a ton of student loan debt. $60,000 of student loan debt. They've paid some of it off, but it feels daunting to them. If they just make the minimum payments, it will be gone in eight years......but that idea sucks.

"We'd like to pay it off in two years, but we know that's not a reasonable goal." They are right. It's not a reasonable goal. It's an absurd goal. Everyone in their life agrees, too. There's no shortage of people who tell them to quit trying to pay it off. It's not possible, they say. It will take forever, they are told.

Their challenge to me was to develop a plan to get the debt paid off as quickly as possible......whatever that timeline looks like. Paying off debt (as well as other financial ventures) requires creativity. Nothing is black and white. Rather, we need to think outside the box, take inventory of all the different tools in our lives, and find ways to create something beautiful with them.

Here's the end of the story. This couple can pay off this $60,000 in nine months. NINE! Yes, less than one year. They chuckled at the absurdity of my pitch, waiting for the punchline. But there was no punchline. I was being serious. Over the next 10 minutes, I outlined all the tools they had available to them. Piece by piece, we chipped away at the timeline, one month at a time. When I was done, they looked at each other, then back to me, and the wife said, "That actually seems doable. Are you sure the math is right?"

There's one important ingredient that's needed for them to succeed. They actually need to believe it's possible. If they do, it can happen. If they don't, it can't. The belief makes all the difference in the world. This is what sets some people apart from the rest. They have the absurdity to believe something is possible when the rest of the world just shakes their heads and rolls their eyes.

Two ideas come from this. First, be someone who believes. Not blindly believing, but someone who gives yourself permission to dream and plan, then the courage to act. Second, surround yourself with people who believe. People who believe in you. People who believe in your dreams. People who believe in the impossible. Those people will lift you up on the days when your own belief might start to wain.

It's possible.....if you believe.

Doing the Right Thing is Always the Right Thing

We had a situation in our house last night. Sarah and I had dinner plans with our long-lost friends, Ryan and Anna, who are visiting family for the holidays. We were excited for dinner and had a babysitter lined up. Then, something happened. About 90 minutes before the babysitter was scheduled to arrive, our kids received an invite for another activity that was too good to pass up.

We had a dilemma on our hands. We wanted our kids to do this other activity, but we didn't want to disrespect the babysitter by pulling the rug from underneath her. Therefore, we quickly found a workable solution. I contacted the babysitter to communicate our change of plans (along with an apology), then Venmo'd her the same amount of money we would have paid her for her babysitting duties.

On one hand, we didn't owe her anything. She didn't actually spend her time babysitting. She didn't actually earn it. Plus, it would have been great to save 50 bucks. However, paying her was the right thing to do. And doing the right thing is always the right thing. I still felt bad about it, but she got paid in full, and hopefully, she found something else fun to do instead.

It feels like our society operates on a series of technicalities. If there's no hard rule or signed contract, we'll do anything to make self-serving decisions. Here's an example. I go to dinner and use a gift card that covers the vast majority of the bill. Since we typically tip on the amount of our bill, I don't technically have to leave much of a tip. But doing the right thing is always the right thing.

Here's another. Sometimes, my coaching clients use their meetings at a slower pace than originally structured. In that case, they can run out of contract term before using all their meetings. Technically, I don't have to honor these meetings. After all, the contract has expired. But doing the right thing is always the right thing. In that situation, we just extend the contract to ensure they get their final meeting(s) in (at no cost to them).

I could give a hundred more examples, but I'll save you the time. Instead of finding ways to derive the best outcome for ourselves, we should always look through the lens of the right thing to do. If the right thing falls in our favor, great.....if not, great. The right thing is always the right thing.....because it's the right thing.

When we operate our finances this way, we remove all doubt about motives, reasoning, and justifications. It builds trust. It creates goodwill. It shows the other side that we respect them.

Doing the right thing has surely cost me thousands of dollars over the years, but it's an absolute no-brainer. I have a clear conscience and build meaningful relationships in the process. I hope you do the same. Doing the right thing is always the right thing!

Progress Through Imperfection

One of my clients felt frustrated this month. They are early in their budgeting journey, having just finished their first full month of planning, execution, and tracking. It's a newer concept to them, and I'm asking them to approach it in an entirely different way. They are nervous, excited, and cautiously optimistic about the entire thing. They felt pretty good entering their first month, but ultimately exceeded the budget by approximately $150.

They expected me to be disappointed in them, but I was nothing short of excited and optimistic. While they viewed a $150 miss as a loss, I call it a win. Here's why. They were expecting perfection, while I was expecting progress. My hope was for them to have a plan, give their best efforts to honor the plan, do it with unity, and track it accordingly. In my book, they get an A+! Nowhere in there did I expect perfection.

Here's a little secret. The best budgeters rarely get closer than $150 to their targeted budget. What it most often looks like is missing by several hundred on either side of zero, month after month after month. Then, if you take an average over a long period of time, it averages out reasonably close to zero. Perfection is never the goal. The goal is progress through imperfection.

This is a powerful concept with money (among other things). We need to let go of the expectation of perfection. The moment we stop expecting perfection is the moment we can actually make meaningful progress.

You're going to mess up. I'm going to mess up. We're all going to mess up. When we do, we have two options: 1) give ourselves grace and simply move on, or 2) beat ourselves up and dwell in frustration.

Back to the couple at the beginning of the story. They began the conversation frustrated, but ended it encouraged, optimistic, and excited. The lynchpin was grace. They gave themselves grace to be imperfect. Progress through imperfection.

Go be imperfect today!

The Multiplication of Impact

I had lunch with my friend Rob yesterday. Rob is equal parts intense, passionate, and servant-hearted. He's the kind of guy that will empty his entire life savings to help a stranger on the street.

In addition to his day job, Rob runs an organization in Zambia called Shoulder 2 Shoulder. Food insecurity is one of the most significant issues in Zambia, and his organization tries to attack it in two ways. First, by providing food (to 1,500 households per month). Second, by training sustainable farming techniques. Their model is pretty cool. They teach people how to farm their land, provide them with the necessary inputs to farm it, then buy back a portion of their crop (to give away to other hungry people). With the proceeds from selling their crops back to Shoulder 2 Shoulder, the local farmers can afford to care for themselves and buy next year's farming inputs....and repeat.

Rob and I periodically have lunch to catch up on life/work/family, discuss all things generosity, and for him to update me on his ministry work. These discussions always come with a handout. Rob knows I like tables, data, and charts.....so he never lets me down! As I was scanning the page, something caught my eye. "Rob, what's this?," I asked as I pointed to the text: "Shoulder Water." Rob explained that one of the components of his ministry is to drill freshwater wells in villages so people can have clean water to drink. They've drilled 13 wells in the past few years.

Naive, I asked Rob what people do in villages without these wells. They either walk to a different village and carry back the water, or they simply don't have access to clean water.

Progressively curious, I asked how much these wells cost. $2,000. Wait, for $2,000, all in, hundreds of people will go from having no clean water to having clean water, just like that?!?! Rob, so you're telling me that one $2,000 investment changes hundreds of lives for years to come!?!? Talk about a strong return on investment......holy cow!

I gotta be honest. I'm glad I didn't have my checkbook at lunch yesterday. There's a possibility I would have handed my life savings to him. If $2,000 can permanently change hundreds of lives for years to come, is there actually anything better we could do with our resources?

Impact multiplies. It always does. In this case, however, I can't even wrap my head around the possible multiplication consequences. I immediately told Rob I'd fund one well this month. I'd be dumb not to.

Speaking of multiplication, I have an idea. If my $2,000 gift can help change hundreds of lives by giving people easy access to fresh, clean water, what would happen if others got involved? The nifty little handout Rob gave me yesterday indicated their plan is to fund five more wells by this time next year.

What if we funded all five this month? I just claimed one. Do you want one? Two? Or maybe a partial? What if a handful of us, connected by this silly little blog, banded together to multiply impact for thousands of people on the other side of the world for years to come? What if?

Please hit "reply" to this e-mail if you're interested. It's happening....

The Secret Behind the Curtain

We recently introduced our kids to The Wizard of Oz. One of my favorite scenes is when the great and powerful Oz is outed. Until that moment, he's a larger-than-life figure with great power and status. However, there's a moment when Dorothy and her posse get a glimpse of what's actually going on behind the curtain. Turns out, Oz was leveraging technology to make himself look bigger and more powerful than he actually was.

"Travis, how do people afford to live like this?!?!" This is a question that I get at least once per week. I've been asked this question for years, but it's probably ramped up 4-fold in the last 12-18 months. At the heart of the question is a mix of frustration, bewilderment, and voyeurism. Regular people trying to navigate this difficult financial season can't wrap their heads around how everyone around them are buying nice cars, upgrading their houses, affording elaborate trips, and revamping their wardrobes. I often wonder the same thing as I look around and see the madness unfolding in every direction. How in the world do people afford this? Are they harvesting cash from their money tree? Do they all have ridiculously high-paying jobs? Do they have tens of thousands of cash saved in the bank or under their mattress? No, no, and no.

The answer is usually relatively simple. You want in on the secret? I'll tell you if you promise not to tell anyone. **Ok, this is my whisper voice.** Debt. Debt is the fuel bringing all this action to life. Debt is the secret sauce.

It's kinda like the great and powerful Oz. From the outside, it seems like everyone around us is freaking loaded. Unlimited money to do whatever they want. Cars, houses, trips, clothes.....you name it! Also, like Oz, they are using leverage to make themselves seem richer and more successful than they actually are. Except their leverage isn't technology.....it's debt. Debt allows people to afford things they'd never be able to afford otherwise. Debt is the key to (temporarily) unlocking all of life's trappings.

I insert the word "temporarily" because it's just that, temporary. At some point, the music has to stop. We've reached a point in our culture where credit card, auto, mortgage, and student loan debt are nearing all-time highs. The ride up the mountain is pretty fun while ratcheting up the debt. It's exciting, fun, and seemingly sexy. However, there's only so much slack available before it's time to pay the piper. That time is upon us.

People have enjoyed the ride for a good decade, and now they are about to be exposed like Oz was. I've seen behind many curtains over the years. Some of the best-looking curtains contain the ugliest messes behind them.

The curtain you're most jealous of? You probably don't want what's actually behind it. All is not as it appears. Remember, the shinier the curtain, the harder it's trying to hide what's behind it.

Inflation, the Tale of Two Families

Inflation has oddly become a polarizing topic in recent months. To millions of Americans, the weight of it has been heavy, often destructive. The impact of inflation can be felt in nearly every aspect of their lives. It's ever-present, and it feels overwhelming.

Others, however, seemingly roll their eyes at the topic. They acknowledge it exists, but on the whole, believe most people are being overly dramatic about the entire thing. This group sometimes thinks people use inflation as a scapegoat to deflect their poor financial decisions.

I've discussed it on this blog before, but we humans tend to view reality through our personal lens. It's a sample size of one: me. Our own experiences, perspectives, and situations largely inform how we perceive these external forces. Recently, though, I stumbled upon a TikTok video that illustrates this concept so well.

@fmsmith319

Housing and daycare has middle class divided

♬ original sound - Freddie Smith

In short, this man theorizes that the American inflation experience is strongly formed around two variables: 1) When someone bought their house, and 2) The age of their children. Depending on the combination of these two variables, it drastically changes the shape of their financial life. While you/I may disagree with his specific numbers, I believe the concept is true, and his assessment is spot-on.

On the cheaper end of the spectrum are people who purchased their house before 2020 (lower prices and record-low interest rates) and don't have young children requiring childcare. These families have a combined house payment and childcare bill of approximately $1,500/month.

On the most expensive end of the spectrum are people who purchased their house within the last 12-18 months ($4,000/month) and have kids requiring childcare ($2,500/month). Therefore, these families have a combined house payment and childcare bill of approximately $6,500/month.

Comparing these two families, that's a $5,000/month difference....just from two categories. That equates to $60,000/year of spending differential, or closer to $80,000 of gross salary to make up the difference. Again, we can disagree with the specific numbers, but either way, the disparity between these two groups (revolving around just these two categories) is staggering. Also, these two families could live next door to one another. They could live similar and parallel lives, but have completely different financial experiences.

It's no wonder how two people who make similar money can disagree on the topic of inflation. I think this is a great perspective for us all to think about. Some of us live on the cheaper side of this spectrum, and others on the more expensive side.

First, I encourage you not to judge or demean others and their experiences. They are likely doing the best they can, and yes, it probably includes some unwise decisions along the way. Second, I also encourage you not to constantly compare yourself to others. It's so easy to play the woulda, coulda, shoulda game. Unfortunately, we can't hop into a Delorean and make different decisions. We must play the cards we are dealt. So let's play the best hand possible! You got this.

When Moments Are Frozen in Time

One of my favorite parts of the holiday season is ripping through our go-to Christmas movie lineup:

• Elf

• Home Alone

• Home Alone 2

• Christmas Story

• Christmas Vacation

• Rudolph

• Frosty

• Probably a few more I'm forgetting.....

These are movies I've seen dozens of times. When I'm watching them, I find myself obsessing about the tiny little details. Funny little accidents that probably weren't even planned. Some coincidence that happened while filming, and for whatever reason, it ended up in the final cut. 

The scene in Elf when Will Farrell is gallivanting around NYC, engaging with strangers on the street. All of that was ad-libbed with actual strangers in the street. Totally raw, totally unexpected. But now, it's a moment frozen in time. 

Another of my favorites is in Home Alone, when Kevin's mom is in Paris, talking to the Chicago Police Department on the phone. It's a ridiculous scene where the police transfer her back and forth between each other. When the man is talking to her, he's munching on a donut. Mid-conversation, a piece of the donut falls off and lands on his old-school phone receiver. Then, you can hear it plopping on the desk. I don't know why, but that silly little moment is seared into my memory bank.....and it's frozen in time. 

That's a parallel for much of our lives. These little moments in life, while seemingly insignificant, can become seared into someone's memory. It reminds me of a note I received in the mail a few years ago. It was from a young man who wanted to tell his story about becoming debt-free and experiencing a life transformation. In it, he cited a conversation he and I shared in a canoe on a lake in the Boundary Waters as a moment that would become a turning point in his journey. He explained that my advice, encouragement, and confidence in him made a huge difference, ultimately leading him to make some life-altering decisions.

Here's the thing. While I remember sharing an experience with him in the canoe that day, I don't remember that particular conversation. I completely believe it happened, and his retelling sounds like something I would say, but that specific conversation doesn't ring a bell for me. But for him, it meant the world. 

That's the power of moments that are frozen in time. We've all been on both sides of it. Similar to my young friend, I've shared stories with people about how XYZ conversation made a huge impact on my life. A moment that was seared into my memory. Yet, they didn't specifically recall it. 

Remember this. As we're weaving our way in and out of people's presence each day, we never know when a moment will be created that will be frozen in time. We may not even know it's happening, but it is! What a crazy opportunity that gives us! All we need to do is be present, be uplifting, and be genuine. The rest will take care of itself. 

Under the Fold

Yesterday was a wild day. I partnered with our local high school to host three workshops on pursuing meaningful work. The idea stemmed from a talk I recently gave at a local middle school. The concept is simple, but powerful. To find meaningful work in our lives, we need to combine our gifts with our passions in a way that's profitable. I illustrate this by using a Venn diagram. Here's what it looks like:

After the second workshop, a young lady approached me. She thanked me for coming, said she needed to catch her ride, and then handed me a folded sheet of paper. "I took notes while you were talking and have some feedback for you. I included my e-mail address in case you want to talk more about it."

I was instantly overcome by anxiety. I was so shocked by my sudden anxiety that it caused even more anxiety. Wow! This young lady, 25 years my junior, sweetly thanked me for coming and handed me a note, and I'm overcome with anxiety!?!? What the heck is that all about?

After reflecting on it, I think it's a testament to the insane culture we live in. A culture where people constantly crap on each other, hurl insults like they are going out of style, and all news is bad news. Therefore, my immediate gut reaction was that this young lady probably blasted me. I feel immensely guilty for feeling that way, but it's an interesting situation to ponder. It took me about 40 minutes to actually read the note. All the while, it was sitting in front of me while I wondered what it contained under the fold.

So what was in the note? She again thanked me for coming and gave me some constructive feedback about one of my perspectives. I want to share one point she made, which struck me as profound. "Meaning isn't something automatically found in a thing or person. It's added once we give it the attention and work that symbolizes value in our lives."

In other words, meaning isn't inherent. It's not something that either exists....or doesn't. We must create meaning. If we have the wrong attitude, nothing will have meaning. On the flip side, even the most seemingly unmeaningful task can have meaning if we have the right mindset. To sum up her feedback, meaning is created, not found.

I applaud this young lady for a) her courage to share constructive feedback with a complete stranger, b) the humility and tact with which she shared her thoughts, and c) her wisdom and perspective on this weighty topic.

I was nervous to see what was under the fold, but I'm so very grateful for it. It will undoubtedly influence what and how I communicate a few of these topics going forward, and I'll be better for it. Don't be afraid to look under the fold in your life. It's always nerve-wracking and often uncomfortable to receive feedback, but it's always worth it.

When the Seeds Grow

I often think about our responsibility to plant seeds in people. It's an idea I shared about HERE (thanks, Gary!) and HERE (thanks, Laura!), but it's always on my mind. One of the problems with planting seeds is that they don't care much about my desire for instant gratification. When I plant seeds, I want results now! Life doesn't work that way, unfortunately.

Yesterday, I was sitting in a coaching meeting with a new client. The client happened to be two former youth group kids, who have since graduated college, got married, and are now well into their careers. We had a wonderful time, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to walk alongside them in a new way.

In the middle of the conversation, they shared details about a few financial decisions they've made over the years. These decisions have set them up for so much success...I was blown away. Impressed and shocked at how counter-cultural this was, I asked him where he got those ideas. "I got them from you! I learned it in your high school money class."

Wow. Just wow. That was nearly a decade ago. He was just 16 or 17 years old, spending his Sunday afternoons attending a class I annually host for our high school youth group kids. He and I were pretty close then, so I vividly remember our time together. He was very inquisitive and always curious to learn new things. However, like with most teenagers, it was difficult to know how much would actually stick. Planting seeds.

Fast forward a decade, and those seeds have grown so much. It's delayed gratification at its finest. He hasn't been perfect. He's made lots of mistakes. He's made some poor choices along the way. But on the whole, it's beautiful to see how these ideas have taken shape in his life.

We don't always get to see our seeds after they've grown......but sometimes we do! And when we do, it should encourage us that our good work matters. There are days when we want to quit. There are days when we question why we're doing what we're doing. There are days when it seems futile. There are days when it all seems like too much to bear.

But then, in these special little moments, we're honored with the opportunity to see the beauty of those tiny little seeds blossoming into something we could never have imagined.

It's worth it. Please don't forget that. It's always worth it. Keep planting those seeds.

Expensive vs. Priceless

We had a debacle in our house last night. When I arrived home from work, I walked into a disaster. Pax had lost his most treasured possession. You know, that one toy that brings a kid comfort. Most of us had one. It's the toy he always has with him when he's home. THE toy. Well, it was gone. We practically tore the house apart trying to find it. Alas, we did eventually find it.....in the most ridiculous place. His carelessness almost bit him.

The entire situation got me thinking about something. We live in a culture that tells us to covet, protect, and respect the expensive things in our lives. Cars, phones, jewelry, new shoes....the list could go on and on. We must take care of them.....with our life! Why? Because they are expensive. Expensive things must be honored. After all, money is the most important thing, right?

Conversely, there are things in our life that are priceless. Photos, videos, mementos, sentimental items, sensitive documents, etc. These things aren't necessarily worth much money, which is the problem. Since they aren't expensive, we sometimes value them differently. We don't protect and respect these things the same way. We're a bit loose with our handling and care of them. But it's impossible to replace them, no matter the cost.

I don't know about you, but I'd much rather have something expensive stolen, lost, or broken than lose a cheap but priceless item. This almost happened to us last week. We had a scare with Finn's new glasses. For a brief moment, it appeared he had lost them. Replacing them woudl have cost $400-$500. It was frustrating for sure, but I would much rather lose those glasses than lose one of my priceless items.

I frequently hear stories from people about how xyz priceless item was destroyed. Things happen, and sometimes our priceless items are tragically lost. However, I propose that one of the reasons this happens is because we're spending more time protecting and respecting the expensive things in our lives than the priceless things. We simply overlook them, and then lousy luck takes them out.

Pax's situation was a humbling reminder that we need to keep our priorities straight and realize what's most important. I've fallen short in this area at times, and I bet you have, too. One of my next steps is to inventory the priceless things in my life. I suspect there are gaps in how I care for and protect some of these possessions. Once I recognize where some of my deficiencies might be, it's time to correct them. I hope you do the same.

Expensive things can be replaced, for a price. Priceless things can't, no matter the price.

Sunburns vs. Landfills

I ran into a friend at church on Sunday who I hadn't seen in a while. As we were standing next to each other in the coffee line, he noted, "My wife quoted you the other day." Intrigued, I had to hear more. He shared how they were contemplating going on a tropical getaway after the holidays. The trip would cost a nice chunk of change, so it was anything but a no-brainer decision. Ultimately, though, they pulled the trigger. Why? "Meaning over money!" Yes! I love this!

When we buy a car, we have a car. When we buy a phone, we have a phone. When we buy a shirt, we have a shirt. But trips are weird. When we buy a trip, we have nothing. There's literally nothing to show for it. The money is gone, and we are empty-handed upon our return. Some may perceive this as the world's biggest ripoff.

However, let's fast-forward a decade. That car is in a landfill. That phone is in a landfill. That shirt is in a landfill. All our junk is in a landfill. But the trip? We still have nothing, but we have everything. The memories are priceless. The memories will last a lifetime. Nothing can take away our memories. Over time, the stories and photos will be passed down to the next generation. Meanwhile, our junk will be fully decomposed and turned into dust.

In the battle of sunburns vs. landfills, I'll take the sunburns every single time. Yeah, there are probably a few things I'd love to have that will someday be in a landfill, but investing in memories will always take precedence.

Memories over stuff. Sunburns over landfills. Meaning over money. I hope you go on that trip!

The Propaganda of Easy Money

If you ask anyone on the internet (or don't ask), they will tell you about xyz way to make easy money. Everyone has a get-rich-quick scheme to share with us. For a while, it was crypto (until the entire market seized up). For others, it's a pyramid scheme. For many, it's about drop-shipping or re-selling. The real estate bros are my new favorite. On a post that recently went viral, a man is spouting off that everyone should just buy 10 rental properties......then, boom (!!!!), you're filthy rich! Geez, I never realized how easy the money is. Just buy a bunch of properties.......it's like clockwork. Printing money! So easy!

A handful of my young friends spend their time online bragging about all their day-trading wins. "Look at this $2,000 score!" "I made $10,000 last month!" "I just hit a new record high profit from a single trade!" When we see these posts, it's alluring. We think, "If this guy can do it, surely I can, too!!!" Here's the problem: it's not really happening.

Well, let me rephrase. It is, but it isn't. That $10,000 of day-trading wins? He's probably not going to tell people that that number doesn't include the $13,000 of losses he incurred in the same month. Or the tens of thousands of dollars of net losses incurred up to that point. These are true stories, and I see them frequently.

We're also not seeing what's happening behind the curtain of the "just buy real estate" crowd, where most of them are imploding. They buy these properties, assuming it will be easy money, only to find out it's anything but easy. I actually feel a ton of empathy for this crowd. They were sold a half-truth bill of goods, have tightly wound their entire financial world around it, and have no easy way out if/when it blows up in their face.

This is the problem with the propaganda of easy money. We don't want to miss out on amazing opportunities if others are "winning" with them. So we throw our rational brains aside and dive in head-first. It's absolutely crushing people. So many people (especially young men) are falling into this trap.

Sure, we can chalk it up to "boys being boys," but this isn't innocent fun. The consequences can be brutal....and long-lasting. I've had more than a few women reach out to me in the past 18 months, sharing news that their husbands/boyfriends either committed suicide or attempted it. Why? The stress and pain of these get-rich-quick schemes turn into nightmares. It's tragic.

As I'm coming to a close, it's painfully clear that nothing I've written here is the least bit inspiring, motivating, or encouraging. I contemplated scrapping this and starting over, but maybe this is what I'm supposed to publish. Here's my encouragement. It's not too late for people who have been sucked into this toxic culture. Be a positive force in their lives. Model a better, more integrity-filled way. Live by example. They need the truth. Meaning over Money.

Technology Changes Everything

Last night was our annual watching of Home Alone. It's been a yearly tradition since I was nine, and it's only gotten more fun since my kids joined the tradition. We had a blast! 

One of my favorite practices while watching older movies is to assess how the movie would be different if it were to take place in today's era of technology. Some movies wouldn't change much, while others would be completely different. Home Alone fits into the latter category. If this movie happened today, it wouldn't even be a movie. 

First, the parents wouldn't be relying on their plug-in alarm clock. The power outage wouldn't negatively impact them. Instead, their iPhone would have woken them up as planned, they would have systematically and methodically transitioned out of the house, and Kevin would be hanging out at the Eiffel Tower the next day. 

But let's say the power outage prevented their phone from charging, and it died in the middle of the night. Kevin still might have been left alone. However, the phone lines being down likely wouldn't have caused such a major issue. Instead, Mom would have called/FaceTimed Kevin, or literally any other person in their town. Boom, crisis averted. Now, the Wet Bandits still may have burglarized the house in the days to come, but Kevin probably wouldn't have set up his house of horrors to torture those two poor men. 

Try this game next time you watch an old movie. It's so much fun! How would the move be different if it were made in today's technological era? For many movies, it literally reshapes (or ruins) the entire plot. 

• Honey, I Shrunk the Kids: The teens would have been carrying cell phones in their pockets when the shrinking happened. Within a few minutes, they would have called/texted their parents to coordinate logistics. 

• Momento: Instead of relying on tattoos and Polaroid photos with writing on the back, he would have just jotted thoughts in his Notes app. 

• Psycho: Instead of checking into Bates Motel, a quick search of Google reviews would have been a decisive indicator that perhaps other arrangements should be made. 

Technology changes everything. We can yearn for the good old days, wish it didn't exist, or simply call it evil. But it's not going away. It's here to stay, and it's advancing quicker than ever. Each of us can choose whether we use it for good or evil. We also get to decide whether to take advantage of it, or simply disregard it. 

This blog is a perfect example. For very little cost, today's technology allows me to instantly distribute my ideas to thousands of people worldwide. On the flip side, today's technology allows thousands of people to easily access our content for zero cost. The e-mail automatically appears in their inbox, or the webpage is just a click away. What a world we live in!!

What technology can you use to magnify your impact? Take advantage of it! Be a positive force!

The Journey, Not the Destination

I returned home last night after being on the road for 16 of the last 17: KC to Houston to Minneapolis to Midland. I'm beat! It's been a great couple of weeks, but I'm ready to be home for the holidays.

As I've been traveling these past few weeks, combined with the reflection that naturally comes with the Thanksgiving holiday, I can't help but think about how weird this journey called life can be. It's full of twists and turns, ups and downs, with countless roadblocks and pleasant surprises along the way. When we're young, we're naive enough to think we're in control of the journey. We plan our steps and hilariously (in hindsight) believe it will go just as we anticipate.

Truth is, the journey is messy. It can be a struggle filled with pain, suffering, waiting, and frustration. If there's one thing for sure, our journey will go nothing like we originally anticipated. In some ways, this is sad. After all, our dreams are huge and important. But herein lies the beauty of life. All the stumbling blocks, detours, and pain are what make this journey rich.

None of the work, mission, or fun I participated in these last 17 days was even a thought in my head just five years ago. Heck, most of this didn't exist just one year ago. That's the beauty of the journey.

Just like a long road trip in the car, we must have a target destination in mind. That shows us the direction we should be driving. However, what happens between the origin and the destination makes the trip. It's about the journey, not the destination. When cruising down the highway, we might see something off in the horizon that looks interesting. So we decide to explore. Maybe it's cool, and maybe it sucks....but we don't know until we check it out. But regardless of the outcome, it likely adds to the experience. Then, as we get back on the road, Google Maps helps us reorient and continue toward our intended destination. We can always program a new intended destination, but until we do, we'll continue to journey in our planned direction, enjoying the little detours along the way.

I promise you I'm not making good time on the road trip of life, but these detours and side missions sure add a richness to the experience. It would be easy to lament not getting to my destination quicker. If that were my measuring stick, I suppose you could call me a massive failure. Yes, the destination is important, but it just may be the least important piece to all of this. It's about the journey, not the destination.

I hope you have an awesome journey today!

The Secret Superpower of Women

Let me set the stage for you. I was recently in a leadership-level meeting with one of my clients. Maybe eight people were around the table, and we were discussing various aspects of the business. We found ourselves debating a financial principle, and there was some disagreement around the room.

As I was whiteboarding the idea to visualize it, someone mentioned how I was attempting to prove that I was right. I responded, "I'm not in the business of being right, but getting it right." I'm telling this story because of what he said next: "Everyone wants to be right. We all have pride."

He's not wrong, which is the problem. So many of us are in the business of being right, which comes at the expense of getting it right. 15 years ago, I probably would have fallen into this trap. I wanted to be right....badly. But I quickly learned my desire to be right hurt myself and everyone else involved. We can be right if we wish to, but it often means we're getting it wrong.

Luckily, I've been able to drastically shift gears and priorities. I don't often care about being right. I desperately want to get it right. I still have strong opinions, but I try to hold them loosely. This is one of the benefits of pursuing discomfort and failure. If we venture into scary waters, we're bound to find ourselves in positions where we don't necessarily know the answers. That's when we have an opportunity to shift our perspective and focus on the getting it right part.

This concept reminds me of one of our podcast episodes, published more than two years ago. The episode's focus was my case for why women are better at money than men. I believed it then, and that conviction has only grown since. I encourage you to listen to it by clicking the link above, but in case you don't, I'll summarize.

Men have two major flaws when it comes to money. First, they often use money as a scorecard....a measuring stick.....a trophy. The more money they have (or the outward perception of having more), the more successful they are on the measuring stick of success. This leads men down some interesting roads, such as risky investments, flashy toys, and other publicly visible signals that they are winning. The second reason is simple: pride. Men are typically in the business of being right. There have been multiple instances of men who hire me, tell me I'm wrong, then decide to keep doing it the way they've always done it (despite those habits and corresponding results being what led them to hire me in the first place). They are in the business of being right. Us men greatly suffer from this affliction

Women, on the other hand, are generally in the business of getting it right. There's no pride. They know what they want, desire to learn how to get it, then execute. No show, just results. It's so refreshing. I want to be more like that!

Don't be right. Get it right.

Cultural Narratives: College Edition

In yesterday's post, I discussed the importance of seeing through false cultural narratives. I framed the post through the lens of common misunderstandings around the stock market. However, I listed a handful of other cultural narratives wreaking havoc on our society. One raised more than a few eyebrows: "It's impossible to attend college without student loans."

Oh, this is a good one! And by good, I mean toxic and destructive. In my work, student loan debt is one of the top factors ripping people's lives apart. It's not uncommon to see $40,000-$100,000 of student loan debt......per person! I have a lot of empathy for people in these situations, for a few reasons:

• Student loans are the only debt that's non-bankruptable. The only way out is to die. That doesn't feel like "good" debt to me. 

• Student loans are torching people's ability to live a meaningful life. Instead of pursuing work that matters, people must pursue work that pays the inflated bills.

• It's not their fault! It's easy to blame people for their student loan debt, but they were only 17 or 18 when these decisions were made. They likely didn't understand the future consequences and implications. In most cases, the blame primarily lies on the parents. Parents don't trust their teens to stay at home alone for the weekend, but the very next day, they trust their kids to freely make a life-altering decision that will implode their financial life for decades.

Kids deserve better. My kids deserve better, and your kids deserve better! Luckily, better is available. Yes, college is expensive. There's no way around that. The cultural narrative is that the only way to go to college is via student loans. It's a lie! I'll explain why. First, it's essential to break things down so we can look at them from a different perspective. 

In-state public universities in my state cost approximately $24,000/year. Some states are more, and some are less. I'm using public, in-state as my example, as it's a common and accessible option. We can make other choices, such as community college, trade school, out-of-state universities, and private colleges, but all choices have consequences (good and bad). 

That's a lot of money, for sure. But we aren't going to pay $24,000/year. Most schools have an array of in-house scholarships to offer. In my state, most students will end up paying +/- 80% of sticker price, or $19,200ish. 

That's still a lot of money. Let's break it down further. This equates to $1,600/month over 12 months. Ok, now we're getting somewhere. That's a lot, but attainable. Once we know this number, we have an array of options to pay for it:

• Savings

• College fund

• Parents' monthly budget

• Student work

• Other scholarships

• And several other options. 

We don't need them all.....we just need some combination of them to total $1,600/month. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's 100% attainable for most families. And countless kids/families are doing it!

Methodically and intentionally piece together $1,600/month, or suffer for decades? The narrative pushes us to the latter, but we have the power to change the narrative.

The Deceit of Cultural Narratives

A friend recently reached out to ask a few financial questions. During the conversation, he made a comment that stopped me in my tracks: "It's surprising that you're such a big advocate for the stock market when it's doing so poorly." I didn't quite understand where he was going with this thought, so I asked him to explain. He shared that the stock market has been beaten up badly, and it's "only getting worse." He went on to draw into question the practicality of investing in the stock market, and stressed the notion of "too much risk." 

While it's true the stock market dropped by approximately 20% in 2022 (which I would indeed classify as "beaten up"), he doesn't see the whole picture. It's a truth, but a half-truth. Er, a quarter-truth. Please allow me to fill in a few gaps:

• In the first 11 months of 2023, the stock market (S&P 500) is up approximately 19% (not including dividends).

• Over the past five years (including the 20% fall in 2022 and a 32% tanking in early 2020), the stock market has increased by more than 11% per year. 

• The stock market only needs to increase by 4.3% from today's value to hit an all-time 153-year high. 

• Over those 153 years, the market has increased by an average of just over 9% (including the reinvestment of dividends). The average is 11% per year for the past 40 years. 

If all that isn't crazy enough, here's one more fun fact that may blow your mind. The WORST (yes, worst!) the stock market has done over a 30-year period is go up by 4.4x. Crazy, eh? The worst possible outcome during any 30-year window in US stock market history is quadrupling your money (plus a little more). Considering you can't even legally touch your retirement funds (without penalties/taxes) until age 59.5, if you're under the age of 30, you have at least 30 years before you'll even think about withdrawing those funds anyway. Context matters. 

Ok, investment rant over. Here's the bigger takeaway. My friend is the victim of what many of us fall prey to. We're sucked into cultural narratives that feed us enough half-truths until it becomes THE truth. Investing is a big one, but far from the only one. Here are a few others that I frequently see:

• It's impossible to attend college without student loans.

• Buying a house is always a smart financial decision. 

• You need to use a credit card. 

• Groceries must cost your family $1,000+ per month.

• We need to seek out the job with the highest possible income. 

• Having a car payment is inevitable. 

• ____________ (insert yours here).

All of these are cultural narratives woven into the fabric of our society. Also, they are deceitful at best, and destructive at worst. If we just believe the narrative at face value, we concede it is our reality. Then, we casually float downstream toward an impaired reality. 

Always question the narrative. Challenge the narrative. Seek the truth.