Being Ungrateful Beings

Do you ever think about how much we take for granted? I think about this topic a lot, but never more than I have this week. Post-hurricane Houston has been a mess. I've spent most of the last three days in an 85-90 degree office with no electricity, no A/C, no lights, and no WiFi. Nothing. I didn't have a hotel for two days. Very few restaurants were open. People were waiting in line for hours to get gas. I sweat through my clothes for three straight days. It felt like my brain was melting onto the table.

I know I'm being dramatic here, but I thought it would be fun to verbalize how I was feeling. Back to my original question: Do you ever think about how much we take for granted? I rejoiced when I had a real meal. I rejoiced when I checked into a hotel. I rejoiced when I felt the relief of A/C. I rejoiced when I had enough hotspot signal to use the internet. All these little take-it-for-granted conveniences of life felt like a luxury.

What if we lived our lives with that perspective? What if we truly appreciated how good we have it? A roof over our heads. A/C and heat to keep the temps stable. Our various pieces of technology that allow us to connect with the world. A working bathroom. Lights to see in the dark. Getting gas without waiting in 2-hour lines. Accessible food. A comfortable bed. What if we stopped taking for granted all these normalcies of life?

After all, we aren't far removed from a time before these things existed. I vividly remember a time without cell phones and WiFi. Some of you remember a time without TV. Many of you remember a time without A/C. We take all this for granted, to our own detriment.

Most of us have all our needs met.....and more. Yet, we so quickly turn ourselves into victims when we compare ourselves to people around us. We so easily conflate needs and wants. "I NEED that car." "I NEED a new phone." "I NEED a bigger house." We so quickly forget how good we really have it.

Today, I'm going to carry myself with a posture of gratitude, and I hope to do the same when I get home from Houston tonight. Most of us have everything we need, and more. Perhaps we should start acting like it.....

Inflicting Impact

I spent Monday trying to get to Houston WHILE a hurricane was pummeling the city (smart move, I know). Nearly every flight was canceled that day, but United re-booked me for a later flight that actually got me there safely. As I boarded my Denver-to-Houston flight, I chatted with a young man (maybe 16 or 17) trying to get home to Houston from a mission trip. Unfortunately, he was the victim of eight flight cancellations over the prior 18 hours. He looked beat up yet oddly optimistic. 

As we boarded the plane, he eagerly awaited his coveted exit row seat. "I've never sat in the exit row before!" Then, as he approached his seat, he disappointingly found a middle-aged man sitting there. They both had tickets for the same seat. The flight attendant quickly swooped in to sort out the confusion. After checking her records, the flight attendant informed the middle-aged man he had unknowingly been upgraded to first class. As he began to vacate his row, the middle-aged man looked at the kid and said, "Why don't you take my seat. Enjoy it!" "Are you for real?" asked the young man. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" The young guy had a massive smile on his face as he turned around and excitedly walked to the front of the plane. 

For the middle-aged man, this probably would have been his 120th time sitting in first class. He knew that. Deep down, I think a little light bulb went off for him, realizing a first-class seat would probably move the needle for the young man. I call this "inflicting impact." Using whatever resources we're blessed with to do the most good. All we have is all we have. It's so easy to get jealous of what a friend, family member, or co-worker has. But that doesn't do us any good. Further, when we dwell on what we don't have, we lose sight of what we do have. Once we become fully aware and present in what we do have, it's our responsibility to manage it well and maximize impact. In the case of that flight, this man used his upgrade to bless someone far more than he would have benefited from it. He inflicted impact with something he had. 

It was such a small gesture, yet I have a feeling that young guy will be sharing his wild story about how that one time he was on a mission trip and got eight flights canceled while trying to fly home in a hurricane, and some stranger generously let him sit in first class. That epic tale will be told for years!!!! Better yet, that sequence of events may even inspire that young man to unlock his own generosity in the days, weeks, and months to come. It's silly and far-fetched to think about, but that middle-aged man may have changed the trajectory of that young man's life. I know, I know, I'm a hopeless romantic……

……but what if?

Inflict impact. Use whatever you have, big or small, to move the needle for others. 

There’s Far More In You

Last summer, we at Northern Vessel were blessed with an invitation to sell our signature Oat Milk Cold Brew Lattes at the Downtown Des Moines Farmer's Market. If you've never been to the Des Moines farmer's market, it's quite the spectacle. It draws a massive crowd and is regularly named one of the country's top five markets. We were beyond excited to set up shop at the market, but had no idea what we were doing. What tents do we need? What about signs? What products should we serve? How should the process flow? What equipment do we need? So many questions to answer, with only one way to find out: test, tweak, repeat. We improved a lot over the course of the summer, eventually hitting a point where we consistently served 60-65 gallons each Saturday morning. The numbers became steady enough that it felt like we had hit our ceiling. It was a fun season, and we were grateful for every bit of it!

Entering the 2024 market season, we knew 60-65 gallons was roughly our ceiling. However, the tweak, test, repeat cycle is in our blood. We experimented with new equipment, different processes, and altered personnel roles. By the third week, we realized there was far more in us; we had unlocked an entirely new gear. That 60-65 gallons rose to 80, then 95, then 110, and eventually 120. 120 gallons of coffee in a five-hour stretch!?!? It was bonkers. That's more than five cups per minute for five straight hours…..unreal. We entered this year believing 60-65 gallons was our ceiling, but now we live in a reality of double that number. 

The crew celebrating their 120-gallon grind. Andrew, Michael, TJ (founder), and Jon.

I think about this a lot. There's far more in us than we believe. Whatever you think your ceiling is, double it. Heck, triple it. 10x?!?! I don't know what the real ceiling is, but I promise you it's much higher than you think it is.

It reminds me of a client I met with last week. They are an amazing young couple with a ton of student loan debt. They started with $115,000ish of combined student loan debt when they were engaged. Over a period of 3+ years, they paid off approximately $50,000. They were winning, but progress was painfully slow (for their taste). That's when they brought me into the fold. Deep down, they believed there was more in them, but it needed to be unlocked. They wanted this $65,000 of debt to die…..and die quickly. They aren't quite there yet, but the end is in sight (we have a debt-free celebration dinner planned for August!). When all is said and done, they will have paid off this last $65,000 in eight months. Eight months!!! There was far more in them.....and they unlocked it!

Like this young couple, there is far more in you! Whatever areas of life this may apply to you (you know which ones!), you deserve it. Find it. Test, tweak, repeat. Stay curious. Be confident. Keep growing. Know your purpose. Unlock it.

Keeping the Relationship Pure

Relationships and generosity, two of the most meaning-filled things in life. Typically, these two dynamics run parallel to one another. After all, both are a manifestation of love and compassion. They run parallel until, well, they don’t. Once in a while, a situation arises where the two can collide. 

My phone rings. Weird, it’s from a friend I haven’t spoken to in years. Let’s call them the Smiths. “Travis, we need your help,” exclaimed Mr. Smith. What unfolded in the subsequent minutes was a story about friendship. Not just any friend, but the Smiths’s nearest and dearest friends. Long story short, this family (a couple with a few young kids) was going through a significant financial struggle. Life was hitting hard, and it was beginning to take a toll on everyone involved. This situation moved the Smiths deeply. They felt an overwhelming calling to step in and serve their friends in some way. However, the magnitude of their ideas would potentially alter their relationship with their friends. 

The Smiths are an interesting couple. They carry themselves with humility and discretion. They have a modest house, older cars, and simple clothes…..very much a middle-class lifestyle. Behind the scenes, though, they are extremely blessed financially. Not many people know this, and they like it that way. It allows them to live a normal life, give ridiculously generously, and teach their kids right. 

Being the loving, compassionate, servant-hearted, and generous people they are, they had a wild idea. With the snap of their fingers, they could make their best friend’s financial struggle disappear. Doing so, though, created risk. Would their friends even accept the gift? Would their friends feel guilty? Would their friends feel like they owe them? Would their friends view them differently? There were a million ways adverse outcomes could arise from this well-meaning intention. 

That’s when my phone rang. “Travis, we need your help.” After discussing the situation, we came up with a creative way for them to anonymously help their friend without risking the relationship. Or, in the words of the Smiths, “keep the relationship pure.” We crafted a plan to facilitate a gift that would meet this family in their darkest hour.

Fast forward a few weeks, their friends received the financial miracle they never even imagined would come. It was a life-altering experience……for both couples. The recipient of radical, anonymous generosity felt so grateful, blessed, seen, and cared for. The giver of the radical, anonymous generosity felt a meaning in their life they have never expereinced before, especially with money. To put a cherry on top, the relationship remains pure.

Generosity always wins. Oh yeah, it also changes lives. Will you let generosity change your life today?

Cultivating the Next Generation of Stewards

One of the main questions I get asked about is how to teach kids about money. Most parents don't actually teach kids about money, and the ones who do typically do so in unhealthy ways. So, today I'll be sharing the way I recommend teaching it. First, I'll share a few key principles that I believe are essential:

• There are only three things we can do with money: spend, save, and give. All are equally important.

• Don’t give an allowance. Allowances teach kids entitlement. Instead, kids should be expected to do basic chores because that's what we do in our family: We serve each other and contribute.

• Aside from the normal chores, offer special projects that allow kids to take initiative, do good work, and be compensated for said work. This practice helps connect work, money, and the value of a dollar.

• It's critical to let our kids fail. They are either going to fail under our roof where we can help them navigate it, or we can protect them for 18 years, just for them to fail bigger (and without our presence) when they are adults. I repeatedly allow my kids to experience buyer's remorse, regret, and lack of resources to buy things. These are fantastic (and critical lessons) for our kids to learn.

• If you're a Christian, it's important to teach kids that money is not ours to begin with. Rather, it's His, and our job is to manage it well.

I typically view this kids-and-money topic as three stages:

Stage 1 - Age 2-6: During this stage, we're just trying to teach kids what money is and how it works. This is typically done through spending and giving. We can bless others through generosity, and we can use it to buy toys. I split the money 50/50 between the two categories. It's done very simply and at a higher level. Piggy banks are usually the tool of choice.

Stage 2 - Age 7-11: During this stage, we're trying to connect the dots between work and money by allowing the kids the opportunity to work in exchange for compensation. This is also the stage where saving for a larger purchase is introduced (delayed gratification!). Whenever I pay the kids for projects, I do so in multiples of three: $3, $6, $9, $12, $15, etc. That way, the kids can allocate 33% for spending, 33% for saving (on a larger item they select), and 33% for giving. My kids use wallets for spending, and separate zip-lock bags for saving and giving.

Stage 3 - Age 12+: During this stage, we teach kids about banking. We use the same principles as above, but at this level, we introduce checking and savings accounts. This is also the stage where they will probably seek outside work opportunities.

There’s definitely more to unpack in the future, but hopefully, this quick summary helps! I know a lot of you are trying to work through these dynamics. You got this, parents!

Thanks, Brook!….and AI

Last night, on my way home from a wedding, I received a text from my friend, Brook. He wanted to hang out. I told him I'd love to hang out, but I needed to get some writing done for the next day's blog when I got home. I jokingly added, "Well, unless you write it for me."

Two minutes later, he sent me a complete blog post. He simply opened his preferred AI tool and entered the prompt, "Can you write me a short blog post about taking advantage of time in the summer to find meaning; from different perspectives?" 30 seconds later, it provided him with a complete article built around his request. That's scary, isn't it? That's exciting, isn't it? That's weird, isn't it?

Two things are clear:

1) AI is rapidly changing our world.

2) AI is here to stay.

It's easy to wish it away or demonize it, but it's not going anywhere. We can choose to use it for good, or use it for evil. We are the ones holding the gun. In the coming weeks, I'll be sharing some thoughts on the AI revolution and how it relates to meaning and money. I'll start with a harsh critique it recently gave my podcast. I'm sure you'll love that!

Anyway, here’s Brook’s 30-second AI article (copied and pasted with zero edits). It’s pretty insightful….and scary. I think you'll enjoy:

FINDING MEANING IN THE SUMMER

Summer is a season of warmth, relaxation, and endless possibilities. It's a time when the days are longer, the nights are shorter, and the world seems to slow down just enough for us to catch our breath. But beyond the sun-soaked beaches and barbecues, summer offers a unique opportunity to find deeper meaning in our lives. Here are a few perspectives to inspire you:

The Adventurer's Perspective - For the adventurer, summer is a time to explore new horizons. Whether it's hiking through lush forests, camping under the stars, or embarking on a road trip to uncharted destinations, the spirit of adventure can lead to profound self-discovery. Embrace the unknown, challenge your limits, and let the journey itself become a source of meaning.

The Reflective Perspective - Summer's slower pace provides the perfect backdrop for reflection. Take time to sit by a tranquil lake, journal your thoughts, or meditate in a serene garden. Reflect on your past experiences, set intentions for the future, and find meaning in the quiet moments of introspection. This is a chance to reconnect with your inner self and gain clarity on your life's purpose.

The Social Perspective - Summer is also a season for connection. Reconnect with family and friends, host gatherings, and create lasting memories with loved ones. Meaning can be found in the laughter shared around a bonfire, the stories told during a picnic, and the bonds strengthened through shared experiences. Cherish these moments of togetherness and let them remind you of the importance of relationships.

The Creative Perspective - For the creatively inclined, summer is a canvas waiting to be filled. Whether you're painting, writing, photographing, or crafting, let the vibrant energy of the season fuel your creativity. Express yourself in new and exciting ways, and find meaning in the act of creation. Sometimes, the process of bringing something new into the world can be deeply fulfilling.

The Restorative Perspective - Finally, summer is a time for rest and rejuvenation. Allow yourself to slow down, take a break from the hustle and bustle, and focus on self-care. Whether it's lounging by the pool, reading a good book, or simply enjoying the sunshine, find meaning in the moments of relaxation. Remember that taking care of yourself is essential for finding balance and happiness.

No matter which perspective resonates with you, summer is a season ripe with opportunities to find meaning. Embrace the warmth, the light, and the possibilities, and let this summer be a time of growth, connection, and self-discovery.

His Greatest Hook Shot

A few days ago, I stumbled upon a news story on my social media feed. However, much to my shock, it wasn't a recent news story. It's actually five years old, but since it's new to me, perhaps it's new to you, too!

It was about Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. In case you aren't familiar with him, I'll give you the cliff notes version. Kareem is regarded as one of the best basketball players who ever lived. He was a fixture of the 1970s and 1980s NBA, primarily known for his signature sky hook. He's a 6x champion, 19x all-star, 6x MVP, and second all-time leading scorer in NBA history. It's safe to say he won a lot of hardware! For many, his face belongs on the basketball Mt. Rushmore.

The news article I saw wasn't about his on-the-court efforts. Rather, it was something he did off the court, long after he last laced up his sneakers. In 2019, Kareem reportedly sold a bunch of the previously-mentioned hardware, including his championship rings and MVP trophies. As a reminder, these items are iconic in the sports world....and practically priceless. Yet, he woke up one morning and decided to sell them to a bunch of strangers. In total, he collected about $2.8M for parting ways with these artifacts.

Why in the world would he do that?!?!? This is where the story gets good! He elected to sell these pieces of memorabilia so he could donate the proceeds to at-risk youth. Upon being questioned about this decision, he said: "When it comes to choosing between storing a championship ring or trophy in a room, or providing kids with an opportunity to change their lives, the choice is pretty simple. Sell it all. Looking back on what I have done with my life, instead of gazing at the sparkle of jewels or gold plating celebrating something I did a long time ago, I'd rather look into the delighted face of a child holding their first caterpillar and think about what I might be doing for their future. That's a history that has no price."

Kareem has every reason in the world to covet, cherish, and possess these trinkets of his success. Yet, he took the most counter-cultural and anti-materialistic approach possible: he sold it and blessed people.

Mission and memories. That's what I think of when I learn about these types of acts. Nobody can take away his athletic feats or accomplishments. Millions of people (mostly Lakers fans) will take to their graves the way Kareem made them feel. A trophy or ring doesn't define it....it already happened! So, the natural next step is to lean into the mission part. He used what he had to move the needle in other people's lives.

While we probably don't have trophies or championship rings worth millions lying in our nightstands, we all have something to give. Possessions are just things. Sure, they are cool. Sure, they are fun. But they are still just things. Meanwhile, mission and memories are forever.

Ready to Jump Back In

I hope you had a wonderful 4th of July yesterday. We had a blast. We spent the day in my hometown, which is known for its epic July 4th celebration. The day was jam-packed with fun events, tasty food, and, of course, fireworks. We're heading home later today, and I'll be attending the wedding of a former youth group kid tomorrow. To summarize, this is a pretty awesome weekend.

All that said, I'm ready to jump back into work. I have lots of good things in store next week, and I'm excited to get going. Truth is, I feel this most weeks. Even when I'm having the best weekend, I'm simultaneously looking forward to work. It's an odd and understandably counter-cultural reality.

Considering that 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, it's obvious that most people don't have a similar perspective. The majority of people crave Fridays, dread Mondays, and find Sunday afternoon the most depressing time of the week. I'm fully aware of these dynamics and have spent time in this camp.

On the flip side, there's a growing number of people in my life who are pursuing a different sort of reality—the type of reality that allows them to enjoy their weekends and vacations but be equally excited to get back to work.

This is a hot take, but I believe this is a reality that everyone can have. I take a lot of flack for saying things like that, but I truly believe it. Work can have meaning. Work should have meaning. That doesn't mean work should replace our personal life in terms of fulfillment and meaning, but rather add to it. We don't have to choose one or another......we can (and should) have both.

Someday, when I'm gone (hopefully a long time from now), I hope one of the legacies I leave behind is this: the conviction, confidence, and commitment people have to pursue work that matters. This is one of my greatest purposes. There is no more fulfilling endeavor for me than to help people find the path of meaning—not meaning in their personal lives, but meaning... period. No matter what I accomplish, watching someone shift gears and fully pursue the life they were meant to live is the ultimate high.

If you're reading this and feel excited about what you'll be doing next week, congrats! That's a massive win, and I'm so encouraged by that. If you feel anything but excited about what's to come on the other side of this long holiday weekend, just know better is out there. I sincerely hope you gain the conviction, confidence, and commitment to find it. It's a difficult pursuit, but so, so worth it.

Embracing Freedom

We have a lot of issues here in the United States. We're far from perfect. There's tension, strife, political unrest, and economic tensions. It's safe to say we have our fair share of problems. However, despite all that, this is a pretty special place. I've spent time in 25 different countries over the past 18 years, dating back to an England/Ireland trip with my friend Eric in 2006. I've been to most of Europe, the majority of the Middle East, Central America, and several SE Asian countries.

Every country I've visited has provided me with a unique perspective. There are so many beautiful places, filled with amazing people, wrapped in fascinating cultures around the world. Simultaneously, every time I travel abroad, I'm reminded of the uniqueness and beauty of our own country. Most notably, our freedom. It's easy to take it for granted, but wow, it's something worth embracing. So yeah, we have problems, but we shouldn't forget that we also have something special here. Today, we celebrate the freedom that we share together.

Within each of our own lives, we also have a different kind of freedom available to us. It's the kind of freedom that stems from healthy financial stewardship, avoidance of debt, and the refusal to pursue a materialistic life. Our society's culture of stuff, money, and status has the power to entrap us. But it's a choice. We each have the power to choose our own path.

Some of you have chosen the path of freedom. You have made sacrifices, humbled yourselves, practiced discipline, and established values different from what our culture pushes down our throats. Congrats to you! It's a difficult path, but if you've tasted it, you know just how amazing it can be.

If you haven't chosen freedom (yet), perhaps now is the time. It's never too late to change course. Even if you've driven down the worldly road for decades, you still have a choice. The fork in the road is still in front of you.

Happy 4th, everyone! I hope you celebrate our freedom today, while also embracing a different kind of freedom.

It’s Not About Looking Down

I was recently at lunch with a few friends. Both are successful in their own right, but one is considered uber-successful by most accounts. I don't know specifics, but I suspect he has tens of millions of dollars.

When our server delivered the check, I told the guys I'd like to pick up lunch for the group. They both thanked me for the gesture, and we went about our business. However, as we were standing in the parking lot, the successful-but-not-tens-of-millions-successful guy approached me and asked, "Why did you buy our lunch? We didn't need you to do that....especially (other guy)."

Correct, neither of them "needed" my generosity. They are both financially blessed, and money is certainly not an issue. I didn't show them generosity because they "needed" it, but rather because I wanted to bless them.

Giving isn't about assessing where we stand on some superficial hierarchy compared to a potential recipient of our gift. That's a cheap and shallow way to perceive giving. Rather, giving should be about the act of blessing someone.....period. Whether it's a financial gift or some other form of service/sacrifice, it should be done with a sincere heart and pure motives.

I absolutely believe in giving to people in need. I believe in that deeply. However, it's not about looking down. It's about looking outward. It's about putting others before ourselves and being willing to serve others with whatever we have to share. I'm so grateful I'm able to buy my friends lunch. It was an honor to do so!

Here's my encouragement for you today. When you give, don't do so through some arbitrary scorecard. Just give. Just share. Just bless others. Don't look down.....look outward.

The Dip Is a Myth

I have a strange hobby. Occasionally, I'll set a random reminder on my phone for the distant future. These reminders usually stem from conversations with buddies or goals with clients. It's always a fun treat to get a random, obscure reminder. Yesterday, I woke up to a memorable one: "Remind Ryan the dip is a myth." That's it. That's all it said.

This reminder stems from a conversation I had with a group of friends one year ago yesterday. A few of the guys asked me about my opinions on investing. After I shared my perspective (which you've heard here often), a guy (we'll call him Ryan) disregarded the entire thing. "I'm saving all my cash to buy the dip. That's where the real money is made." For context, he had liquidated most of his retirement investments and was sitting on mostly cash, eagerly anticipating a crash. I can't remember the exact amount, but it was a bit north of $200,000.

I, of course, couldn't disagree more with this sentiment. It's a proven bad strategy, oozing with naivety, a false sense of control, and overconfidence. After all, buying the dip requires you to know when the dip actually occurs, put your money where your mouth is, and know when to sell.

Further, let's not forget the stock market is up far more than it is down. To demonstrate, here are a few staggering statistics about the last 154 years of U.S. stock market history:

• The market has been up in 74% of calendar years.

• It's been up 78% of 2-year stretches.

• Even crazier, it's been up 85% of 3-year periods.

The odds are heavily in favor of up!

After sharing the behavioral, philosophical, and historical reasons why buying the dip is a terrible idea, Ryan responds, "You're wrong. You'll see." We agreed to set a reminder 12 months out and compare notes 365 days later.

Well, yesterday was the day, according to my pop-up reminder. So, how did Ryan fare? Here's a screenshot of how the Vanguard total U.S. stock market index performed over the last 12 months:

+25.2%. Ouch! Not only did Ryan not win, he got crushed. In his arrogance and greed, assuming he had $200,000 sitting in cash, he lost at least $50,000 of gains! That's a tough lesson.

I sent him the reminder today, along with the market performance screenshot I included above. He responded, "It was the right decision—it still is. I'll keep waiting for the dip." Old habits die hard.

Will Ryan ever succeed in this endeavor? Maybe. The odds are heavily stacked against him, though. It will require a mix of luck, close monitoring, the conviction to act, the conviction to act again, and a lot more luck. Conversely, he could follow the statistical odds of success by simply investing now and never worrying about it again. I like that option much, much, much better.

Fortunately for you, the best way is the simplest way. The dip is a myth, so just invest.....then patiently (and boringly) wait.

Forgetting the Plot

I'm coaching the second-grade boys' basketball program for my kids this summer. It's structured as two open gyms per week, focusing on skill development, relationships, learning the game, and fun. The first two sessions were great, but last night's was a mess. It was chaotic, we didn't stick to the plan, the kids got frustrated, and the coaches lost control of the action. In short, we forgot the plot. Amidst all the chaos and unforeseen circumstances, we lost sight of the purpose of being there. I take 100% ownership of that. I feel a lot of frustration and regret toward myself. All that said, I'm confident we can get the train back on the tracks at our next session. I'm excited to learn from these lessons and get back to the desired plot.

In many ways, this is a close parallel with life. Amidst the chaos, busy, and unforeseen events, it's easy to forget the plot. We say to ourselves that x, y, and z are our primary objectives. Yet, if we were honest with ourselves, our actions may say otherwise. This is a dynamic I've seen in my own life, and I see it multiple times per month with the families I have the privilege of coaching. Life is crazy. It's intense, unpredictable, and throws many curveballs at us (never mind the fastballs occasionally thrown at our heads!). If we're not careful, we forget the plot.

Here are a few examples of how this can play out. Perhaps one or more of these examples resonates with you.

The couple who says their top priority is to spend more time with family, but ultimately structures their life in such a way that they spend even less time with the family. They think to themselves, "If we make a lot more money, we'll have more freedom to spend time together." However, in the pursuit of more money, they create a life with even less freedom. They forgot the plot.

Or the couple whose top priority is to get out of debt so they don't feel as restricted in their finances. They lock down the finances so they can aggressively pay off the debt, but ultimately create a money culture in their family where spending money becomes taboo. They inadvertently rewire themselves to be cheap and overly frugal. In their pursuit of a less restrictive financial life, they create an even more restrictive life. They forgot the plot.

Or the couple whose top priority is to be more generous, but only after abc goals are accomplished. They have every intention of increasing their generosity, but they continually set artificial hurdles and boundaries in front of it. They aggressively pursue these objectives, while simultaneously being even less generous....for the purpose of eventually becoming more generous. It becomes a complete self-sabotage. They forgot the plot.

Here's a quick tip on how to avoid this. Every so often, ask yourself what's most important; write it down. Then, look at your actions and see if/how they align with your objectives. If they are aligned, awesome! If not, you might have lost the plot. Luckily, you're the author of the story. It's never too late to get back on track!

The Three-Month Rule

Happy last day of the month. How in the world is the year half over?!?! Today also marks a special occasion. Being thelast day of the month means tomorrow brings a brand new budget. If you're a budgeter, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's a day that brings hope, possibility, and excitement. It's a new opportunity to bring our values to life through our finances. For some of you, it's also a great opportunity to close the book on a really crappy month and start afresh. Either way, tomorrow is your day!

If you're not a budgeter, perhaps July is your month to begin. Whenever I talk to people who don't budget, I ask, "Why?" There are a million reasons people don't budget, but there are a few common responses:

• "It doesn't work for us."

• "I suck at it."

• "It was too hard to follow."

• "I didn't like it."

All of these are valid reasons, but on the flip side, they are probably (half) wrong. Budgeting is simple—eventually. Budgeting is powerful—eventually. Budgeting is a game-changer—eventually. Budgeting isn't something we just pick up and are magically good at. After all, if you don't budget, there's a strong likelihood you've operated your finances without one for years....maybe decades. So we can't expect to be overnight experts.

Whenever coaching someone on their first budget, I always add, "you're probably going to fail." Encouraging, I know! But it's true. The first month, or two, or even three will probably be a mess. The goal isn't to crush this budgeting thing in the first month, but rather experiment, learn, and grow. What works. What doesn't. What abc category costs. Why xyz category needs to be changed. How to better track. How to engage our spouse better.

The problem for most prospective budgeters is they don't do a great job the first month, feel like trash about it, and simplygive up. You're supposed to fail! That's all part of the game. I call it "the three-month rule." Those first three months will be tough, but it's the setup for what's to come. Typically, by the fourth month, most people are fairly locked in and confident to execute on their plan.

That's my encouragement to you today. If you don't budget, I encourage you to give it a try, give yourself grace, know you're going to mess up, and know it's going to get better. If you give it at least three months, I strongly believe it will become a valuable tool in your financial arsenal.

And remember, budgeting isn't about spending less; it's about spending better. It's about harnessing every dollar of income you're blessed with this month and aligning it with your values. Spend, save, and give in accordance with YOUR values.

Happy new budget month, y'all!

The Tale of Two Encounters

Words are powerful. Words can build up, tear down, create impact, and cause destruction. Whoever championed the "sticks and stones" jingle must not have experienced the wrath of words. Every day, when we go about our business, we wield a weapon. We have a choice: Use it for good or for harm. 

Businesses, and those who represent them, have the same choice to make. It's amazing how many business owners don't fully appreciate the power of words. It seeps through their behaviors, their team, and their culture. I watch business after business flop in the simplest ways. 

I recently had two separate encounters that highlighted this concept. 

The first was at a local restaurant. As my friends and I took turns ordering our entrees, two guys slightly mispronounced the name of their desired order. Both times, the server quickly corrected them. It wasn't a big deal, but again, words have power. They felt slightly embarrassed, and a little ticked that the server felt the need to correct when she knew exactly what they were asking for. 

The second encounter was also at a local restaurant. This time, I was flying solo. After receiving my meal, I noticed I was missing an item. I walked up to the counter, informed them of the error, and respectfully asked if they could provide it to me. Just then, however, I realized I was the one who made the error. The specific combo I selected did not include said item. After catching my mistake, I apologized (being slightly embarrassed) and thanked them. The woman, however, immediately replied l, "No apology needed. That's quite ok. Let me get you one anyway," and then handed me the item I didn't deserve in the first place. It wasn't a big deal, but again, words have power. 

Guess which restaurant I'll be going back to. All because of a few simple yet powerful words. Culture, as demonstrated by these interactions, is a powerful thing. It can make or break a business. 

I was recently hanging out at our coffee shop, Northern Vessel. After ordering my drink, I waited off to the side, chatting with a few other customers. When the customer in front of me received her drink, she told the barista that it was the wrong drink. "This is an x…..I ordered a y." They actually received exactly what they ordered. I heard the order and saw what they received. It was dead on. I knew it, and the barista knew it. But the barista quickly responded without hesitation, "I'm so sorry; I'll get you a new one right away." So perfect! We wasted a drink, but so what? That was the cost of giving the customer a positive experience and using words for good. 

I smiled on the inside, but I probably smiled on the outside as well. I love our team and the way they serve people with hospitality and dignity. It's a beautiful sight.

Sticks and stones can hurt, but words can destroy. Let's be better. Let's demand better. Let's reward better.

Multiplication, Not Addition

My head is still spinning from last night's debate. Perhaps yours is, too. Therefore, I thought a little palette cleanser would be welcomed today.

Amidst all the craziness that hit my social media feeds last night, this little gem popped up. Gold. Pure gold. Check it out! This is one you have to see for yourself. My words can't properly frame up how this situation played out. So, if you didn't click the link above, here's another chance!

We’re not crying, you are 🥹 pic.twitter.com/7Wiv2QUuqM

— New York Red Bulls (@NewYorkRedBulls) March 25, 2024

Generosity isn't addition. When we give, it's not making a dollar-for-dollar, hour-for-hour, or act-to-act impact. It multiplies. It transcends the original gift, oftentimes spiraling into something much, much bigger than initially intended. This player thoughtfully shared his jacket with one kid, ultimately blessing all the kids. One simple act of generosity multiplied into something much bigger than him.

That's the opportunity in front of each of us. We can use our resources to add to our own pot, or we can multiply them by sharing. It's an important choice, and, for me, it's an easy choice. Multiplication is always more powerful than addition. Generosity always wins.

Humility Is a Powerful Tool

I received lots of feedback from yesterday's post about how inflation is clamping down on millions of families. Many of you said something to the tune of, "It's like you read my mind" and "I'm glad I'm not the only one." I'm glad you feel seen and heard!

However, I did receive one piece of criticism. I somewhat expected it, as it's a sensitive topic with many. Here's the line that got several people fired up: "If you have assets tied to debt (and hefty loan payments), you might consider selling them. One of my clients sold their vehicle, and it immediately freed up $800/month from the car payment being done."

As one reader put it, "Selling a car doesn't fix anything! You still have to buy another car."

Fair point. That's true. This family sold a car but then had to buy one. So today, I thought I'd illustrate what this concept looks like in practice.

This family had two vehicles. One was a large SUV (the wife's vehicle), and the other was a truck (the husband's vehicle). The wife's vehicle had a $442 monthly payment, and the husband's had an $812 monthly payment. These payments, combined with several other factors, resulted in significant financial stress due to a shrinking margin caused by inflation. They were hurting! Their marriage was hurting!

After several conversations, they realized changes must be made. While it took about six months, they ultimately decided the most effective and best decision was to sell the husband's truck to wipe out the monthly payment. The truck was worth about $65,000, and they owed $60,000.

After selling it, they had about $5,000 in cash and $812/month extra in their budget (plus whatever they were spending on insurance)......but they still needed a vehicle. They took the $5,000 from the sale of the truck, combined it with another $6,000 from savings, and purchased a modest used car for $11,000 in cash.

Just like that, they waved their magic wand and freed up $812/month in cashflow. That decision changed everything for them, financially speaking. However, there was another side to this story. In order to execute on this plan, they needed one more thing: humility. This was a public act. One day, he was driving around in this big, fancy truck, and the next, he was driving a car that would impress nobody. That act requires humility and a keen sense of what's truly important. I'm so proud of them for taking that step.

Further, their decision to take that step is the gateway for so much growth and contentment. They unlocked a new level in their relationship with each other and their relationship with the world around them. It's no longer about what other people think, but what adds the most value to their family. They are playing a new game, a better game.

They took responsibility. They took action. They led with humility. Their lives are better as a result. It’s a beautiful recipe.

The Clamps Are Tightening

Do you ever feel like you make good enough money and manage it well, yet there's simply no margin in your financial life? If so, you aren't alone. Millions of families in this country are experiencing this phenomenon. Inflation has wreaked havoc on so many people. What not long ago felt like a respectable income has turned into "just scraping by." Even though inflation is going down, its consequences are here to stay. This is a common misconception about inflation. When inflation goes down, it doesn't mean prices go down. Rather, it means prices are going up less quickly from their now-inflated levels. It's a mess.

I regularly meet with families that make $8,000, $10,000, or $12,000/month of take-home income, barely making ends meet. Much of this can be attributed to the cost structure established by the family prior to inflation setting in, which is difficult to change. It's embarrassing for people, and they feel alone. After all, it's weird to tell your friends or family members, "Yeah, I know we make $160,000 per year, but we're really struggling." That sort of conversation will make people play their miniature violins with their eyes rolling. Therefore, people suffer in silence.

It feels like the clamps are tightening. We can stave off the financial pressure for a while, but eventually, it starts to add up. The normal life costs keep increasing until they've squeezed out the margin. One-off expenses, such as medical bills, car maintenance, and house repairs slowly bleed people dry. We make purchase decisions that entrap us in debt. We experience shocks to our income. One by one, families are breaking.....it's so sad!

If any of this hits home for you, perhaps what I'm about to say next can help you relieve some of your pressure. Here is a menu of options to help you navigate a tight financial season:

• Find areas of your monthly budget to cut. You may need to trim down on dining out, travel, or other wants.

• If you have assets tied to debt (and hefty loan payments), you might consider selling them. One of my clients sold their vehicle, and it immediately freed up $800/month from the car payment being done.

• Temporarily tone down your investment contributions.

• Temporarily stop saving toward your sinking funds. Yes, these are important, but it's more important to keep the financial train on the tracks.

• Find extra income. A side hustle or side job can relieve a ton of financial pressure.

• If you're not sitting on a cheap mortgage, it might be time to downshift your housing.

You aren't alone! But at the same time, the burden of navigating it is on you. I don't like it any more than you do, and I think we have some major problems on our hands, but it's the reality we're stuck with (for now). We must face it head-on so our families can live to fight another day. It's a tall order, but you got this!

I'm happy to chat if you have any questions about your own situation. This is a scary and prevalent issue, and you don't need to face it alone.

Stumbling Into Memories

I had a weird and fun experience last night. I made a quick 24-hour trip to Omaha for a few meetings. On a quick fuel stop en route to my destination, I booked a hotel room so I would have a place to land when I got there. It's a hotel we've stayed at before. I knew what I was getting, which was good enough for me. As I pulled my car up to the main door to check in, I noticed a surprising number of people walking around wearing college gear. That's when it dawned on me, "Oh yeah, I think the College World Series is going on right now." Then it dawned on me that the CWS is immediately across the street from my hotel….Awesome! Then, after a quick Google search, I realized last night was THE final game of the tournament. Championship round, best of three games, Tennessee and Texas A&M tied 1-1. Holy cow! The final game of the CWS was taking place in mere hours, mere feet from where I was sleeping. 

A view of the stadium from the front door of my hotel

Yes, I was tired. Yes, I was hoping to take it easy. Yes, I had work to do. Yes, the heat index was 112 degrees. Yes, I had an early wake-up time the next morning. But when we stumble into memories, we must seize them! I jumped into the SeatGeek app and found the cheapest ticket available ($53). Two hours later, I was watching the final game of the CWS (in which the Tennessee Vols won their first-ever national championship). Unreal!

As I always say (which is a tribute to my friend Gary Hoag), the two best investments in life are mission and memories. Sometimes, we need to intentionally create memories; other times, we stumble into them. However, we must do one thing when we stumble into them: say "yes." There were a million reasons I wanted to decline. This wasn't part of my plan. I wasn't prepared. Did I mention the heat index was 112 degrees?!?!? But that's how some of the best memories go down. My "yes" or "no" decision was the gateway to determining my fate. I ultimately said "yes," and I'm so glad I did. I experienced something I never thought I would. I wish my friends or family were with me, but it was an amazing experience. 

It was a perfect combination of a little luck, a wise "yes*," and a $53 financial investment. One of the biggest bargains of my life. 

I hope you're intentional about creating memories along your journey, but I also hope you say "yes" when you stumble into them as well. Oftentimes, those are the most special ones. Don’t miss those blessed opportunities to add richness to your life.

*I originally said "no" about 4 times, then almost said "no" AFTER buying my ticket, then almost said "no" mid-game (3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th innings) due to the extreme heat and sun. But I didn't! I honored my "yes" and I was rewarded handsomely for it.

But at What Cost?

Despite repeatedly writing and talking about materialism and the risks of pursuing more, I'm also human. I got bit by the jealousy bug last night! The boys were invited to swim at a friend's house, which was quite thoughtful of the host family. When I arrived to drop them off, I was met with the backyard pool of all backyard pools. Wow, this thing was stunning: waterslide, basketball hoop, tons of seating, an outdoor living room (with a massive TV), a built-in kitchen.....the whole works! Just the pool area alone probably cost more than my house is worth. My immediate reaction was jealousy.

Then, as I always do, I took a step back and looked myself in the proverbial mirror. We all have choices. Do I really want that pool? Do I really want that house? Is that what I really want? If so, why am I not pursuing it? If having xyz is so important, I should react and act accordingly.

Then, I ask myself one more question: "But at what cost?" For every decision or pursuit, there's a cost. There's no free lunch. For every dollar we spend on one thing, there's one less dollar to spend somewhere else. For every hour invested in something, there's one less hour to invest elsewhere.

So, I suppose I could endeavor to have a house with a pool like theirs. That's on the table. But at what cost? Here are a few costs off the top of my head:

• I'd probably need to use most (or all) of the liquid savings we built for other purposes.

• I'd probably be forced to abandon my current career path in exchange for a higher-paying job that would support the necessary house payment.

• Our generosity would probably fall off a cliff.

• We would probably lose the flexibility and freedom our current life structure provides.

• We'd probably lose the ability to freely travel like we do now.

When I look in the mirror and ask myself the "but at what cost?" question, that pool suddenly doesn't feel as appealing as it did in the moment.

It's not a matter of IF we will get bit by the jealousy bug, but WHEN. It's going to happen. As such, we must be ready to face it head-on. That's where the "but at what cost?" question can be so handy.

I don't have any negative feelings towards people who do things that make me jealous. After all, they are simultaneously making decisions that have their own costs. That's what makes all of this so personal. We each have choices to make.

It's not about making THE right choice. Instead, we should each pursue the right choice for us. The right choice for you and the right choice for me.

I know I'll get jealous again, but when I do, it will be another opportunity for me to look in the mirror and ask myself if I'm truly pursuing the life I'm meant to live. That's a gift!

Sucker For a Vanilla Dish

I found a new life hack. A few times per week, I get mentally stuck. Call it paralysis, brain fog, or distraction. Whatever it is, I just can't get the motor going to power through whatever tasks are on the agenda.

Whenever this happens, I hop in the convertible, drive to Sonic, and order a small vanilla dish. Then, I sit under the sun, with the car stereo playing, enjoy my ice cream, and think. No distractions, no motives, and no pressure. Just me, the sun, a delicious ice cream, a little music, and my thoughts. It sounds silly, but that's turned into such a beautiful time for me to reset my brain and process the various ideas bouncing around my head. Many of my blog ideas are born in that space.

It costs me $3 and 20 minutes of my day, a small investment for a considerable payoff. During a recent vanilla dish pilgrimage, I was thinking about how valuable certain financial and time investments can be in our lives. Not all spending is created equal. Many of our expenditures make little to no actual impact on our lives. Then, some silly $3, 20-minute investment in a mid-day Sonic run can totally move the needle.

If we were wise, we would take inventory of all the things we invest our money and time into and assess how much value we're receiving for the cost. If it's valuable, keep it. If it's not, cut it. When we do that, it's amazing how many things we'll discover are an absolute waste. Conversely, it's funny to see how many things that are seemingly ridiculous or "wasteful" are actually valuable.

What about you? What vanilla dishes exist in your life? Where do you find tremendous value in something that may otherwise be considered ridiculous or "wasteful?" Inquiring minds want to know!