Be the Worst Person In the Room

Good morning, friends in the West. Being 13 hours ahead of you (i.e. a time traveler), I can confidently say Monday will be a great day.

Due to popular demand, below are a few photos of my current accommodations in Mongolia. I woke up this morning by stepping out of my ger (traditional Mongolian dwelling) and into a beautiful mountain sunrise view. I shared a wonderful breakfast with friends, followed by a full day of productive meetings.

I intentionally chose a provocative title for today's piece, but it's sincerely how I feel. It's an alternative way to view the old moniker: "You become the average of the five people you spend the most time with." These last few days, I've spent time with countless people who have made far more impact, have a much grander vision, and have made much deeper sacrifices in their journeys than I can ever imagine. So, in other words, I feel like the worst person in the room. I don't use that language to be self-deprecating or critical of myself, but rather because of how much respect, admiration, and love I have for these people and the work they are doing.

For as big as my mission and vision is, spending time with these people reminds me of how small my little brain actually thinks. I'm challenged and encouraged just by being in their presence. Do you have any people like that in your life? If so, spend more time with them. If not, find some……then spend as much time as possible with them.

I've been reflecting on how hard these last five years have been for Sarah and me. The comfort is mostly gone. There is no ease. We progressively see the consequences of our sacrifices. There are days we wish we would wave our magic wand and live a cushier, grander, and more comfortable life. You know, the life most people are pursuing…….the life we used to have before we waved the opposite magic wand. But then, I spend time in rooms like I've experienced these last few days, and I'm reminded that there is far more impact to be made, bigger visions to be cast, and much more profound sacrifices to endure.

No, I'm not trying to demean myself. But wow, there are so many amazing people all around us. My challenge today is to spend as much time with them as you can. Be the worst person in the room; it's a life-giving and honorable place to be. 

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Nobody Wants to Work: 1800s Edition

Question: In your opinion, when was peak music? What decade or period do you believe was the best? I know your answer, and you're right. My answer is probably different than yours, but I'm probably right, too. Let me guess. Your answer probably correlates with your mid-to-late teen years. Am I right? That would be my answer, and the data says you're probably in a similar camp. Someone actually studied this! Check out the graphic below:

In short, we tend to like music that was created after we were born, with our peak love being the music produced when we're teens. Then, it's all downhill from there. By the time we reach age 35, we start to think newer music sucks.

When it comes to music, we all know we're right......but are we? The generational bias runs deep, but we're too stubborn to admit that. This little nuance is silly and innocent when it comes to our generation bickering about what music rocks and what music sucks, but it comes with harsher consequences when it spills into other areas of life.

Notably, I'm thinking about a common cultural narrative in our society. "Nobody wants to work anymore." And by "nobody," we tend to point our fingers at the younger generation. This narrative has been floating around in our society for years, but it catapulted to a whole new level when COVID hit. I heard it three times in the airport just yesterday!

While I think there are a good number of young people who don't want to work, I couldn't disagree more with this sentiment. We're stereotyping an entire generation based on the behavior of the lazy minority. Did you know any lazy turds in your generation? Of course you did! Some of them were probably your classmates, neighbors, and family members. Every generation has them.

For that reason, it made me smile when I stumbled into this little video clip. The content creator curated news clippings from multiple eras, each saying the same thing: "People don't want to work anymore." And the funny thing is, these clips go back as far as 1894!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Josh Drean (@joshdrean)

It's funny to think about. Some (probably) middle-aged dude, nearing the turn of the century and the introduction of the automobile, with the proliferation of cell phones still 100 years away, is ranting to a newspaper about how young people don't want to work anymore.

This video highlights one thing to me. As the older generation(s) leading the way, instead of beating down these kids and young adults with insults, we have an opportunity to lift them up. Sure, some will be lazy turds; no doubt! But most have a drive and a desire to make a difference in this world. This generation will absolutely change the world. Further, this young generation we lament will soon be in charge of this country while we're still alive! Therefore, let's lift people up, encourage them, mentor them, and propel them to heights we've never seen. That would be a fun legacy for our generation, wouldn't it?

Slivers of Light in the Darkness

It's been 24 hours since I wrote yesterday's blog, meaning I should be enjoying the sights and sounds of Mongolia by now. That's not my reality, though. Instead, I'm sitting at the same table in the Chicago airport where I wrote yesterday's piece. 

Let me rewind. As my 11-hour layover ended yesterday, I was eager to board my flight to Istanbul. The anticipation had been building for months, and more so as I sat there. As the gate agents were preparing to begin boarding, I heard an announcement over the speaker: "Would Shelton Travis please come to the ticket counter?" I approached the counter, "Am I in trouble?" "You're not in trouble, but you're not getting on this flight……or any flight." Uh oh. Thus began one of the worst travel experiences of my life. The short version of the story is that my passport didn't have enough term remaining to legally enter Mongolia. Translation: I screwed up. I was nervous about having enough time in the trip's lead-up to renew my passport, but a trusted travel friend assured me I was good to go for this specific trip. BUT. BUT, I didn't confirm. I didn't follow through. I didn't fully vet it. I screwed up. I'm the author of this terrible story. 

Here's what happened next:

• I learned there is an emergency passport service in Chicago; one of the few cities that offers such a service. 

• The passport office still had an early-next-day opening available, so I booked it. 

• I grabbed a hotel room near the airport.

• I got on the phone with the ticketing agency to sort through this mess; I learned my options.

• After 4 hours of crappy sleep, I packed up and took a 45-minute Uber to the Federal building in downtown Chicago.

• I found a passport photo shop, filled out an application for a passport renewal, and met with an agent.

• I waited five hours to pick up my new passport. 

• Meanwhile, I spent 90 minutes on the phone with a ticketing agent to get a new flight. Ultimately, I ended up on the same route as previously scheduled, but one day later. 

• Now, I'm back at the airport, again hopeful to board a flight. 

Needless to say, this has sucked more than I can ever express. It's felt lonely, defeating, and demoralizing. It would be so easy to play the victim card and glass-half-empty this thing into oblivion (the thought crossed my mind). But there have been so many things to be grateful for:

• This debacle happened in a rare city offering same-day emergency passport services.

• My friends John and Jenn, while on the other side of the earth, were a calming presence during my most stressful hours. 

• The fact I was able to quickly grab a cheap hotel room right next to the airport. 

• The hotel clerk, who showed me much grace and generosity when I approached the counter with my makeshift 11PM dinner comprised of roasted peanuts, a Nutrigrain bar, and a guacamole cup (options were sparse, and I was starving). I presented her with a $10 bill. "Not tonight. This one is on me." 

• My early morning Uber driver, who gave me an oddly calm and relaxing drive. Side note: look up "violin covers" on Spotify!

• The Federal Building security guard, who gave me a tip for the best and quickest passport photos down the street. His tip allowed me to arrive just as they opened, avoiding the rapidly building line.

• The Orbitz ticket agent, who showed me amazing patience and hospitality as we navigated the re-booking process. He was a lifesaver!

• If all goes well, I still won't miss any critical meetings in Mongolia. 

This is truly one of the worst travel experiences of my life, but there are always slivers of light in the darkness. We have two options: We can concede defeat, be a victim, and lament how terrible everything is, or keep moving forward, show resilience, and find those little slivers. I'm so glad I was able to find them today.

I hope your day goes far better than my last few have, but even if not, I hope you look for the slivers of light as well!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

When In Rome

People often ask me if I batch my blog posts and keep a bank of them for future use. Truth is, I write and publish each article each day. It's a habit I picked up from the encouragement of my friend, Gary. That practice has added beauty and richness to my life, as well as a bulletproof discipline of consistent writing.....no matter what. It's amazing how many ideas will come to us when we're expected to come up with ideas; it's a fun psychological hack.

I share all this because today, I'm breaking my rule. I'm batching a few blog posts due to my possible schedule quirks and internet connectivity uncertainties. I'm sitting in the Chicago O'Hare Airport on an 11-hour layover, awaiting my flight to Mongolia. By the time you read this (if you are a read-it-as-soon-as-the-email-arrives sort of blog reader), I'll be approaching the Middle East, where I'll connect with a few friends who are coming in from Kenya. My goal is to still write and publish each day (with a bend toward what I'm experiencing in Mongolia), but backup posts will be ready if I get run off the interstate by a herd of animals or ingest too much Airag (fermented horse milk).

Speaking of, I love the expression "When in Rome." It encapsulates my perspective of and approach to travel. The moment I depart Chicago, I will set my Midwest American culture, norms, and preferences aside and embrace the culture I'm entering. The food, language (I'll try), customs, and rhythms. If someone invites me to do something, I'll do it. If someone hands me something to eat, I'll eat it. If someone wants to talk about a particular topic, I'll discuss it.

It's going to be uncomfortable. It's going to be awkward at times. It's going to push my boundaries. But that's what travel is all about! Our American culture isn't "right." Rather, it's our culture. That's great. I love so many things about our American culture. In due time, I'll miss pizza, cheeseburgers, football, my bed, the three amazing weeks we get of Iowa fall weather (IYKYK), and all the other aspects of my American life I never think about. But in the meantime, I'll wholeheartedly embrace a different culture and a different way.....and it will make for some of the greatest travel memories I'll ever experience.

I'll leave you with one rule a wise friend once told me. "If they eat it, why shouldn't you?" Sharing a meal with someone and shutting down their invitation to share their culture (through food) with you is a slap in the face. Having someone share their culture with you is an intimate experience.....and a gift. I never take that gift for granted.

Don't take the gift of culture for granted. Don't retreat to comfort. Don't seek familiar. Don't take the easy way out. When in Rome!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Be Wary of Self-Titled “Experts”

I recently had a conversation that's stuck with me like a never-ending cold. One of my friends showed me her family's recent monthly statement from their financial advisor. This financial advisor works for one of the most respected companies in the industry. That, combined with the fact my friend (and her spouse) don't know a ton about investing, blindly trusted the "expert."

Their advisor was given free rein to "do whatever is best" with their investment account. The advisor, in his infinite wisdom, recommended that he pick out a handful of stocks that he believed would do well. Can you see where this is going?

The statement I was holding clearly stated that their investment portfolio had achieved a -1.4% annual return over the last 36 months. Yes, you read that correctly.....they LOST money over the last three years.

Now, we need something to compare it to. Oh, I know! How about we compare it to a total U.S. stock market index that each of us has access to at the push of a button. These funds contain upwards of 4,000 companies and have very low fees. Examples include FSKAX (Fidelity), VTSAX (Vanguard), and VTI (also Vanguard). Here's what we found. Over the exact same 36-month period, simply holding the total U.S. stock market index would have provided an 8.76% annual return over 36 months.

Let's put that into context. Pretend this family gave the "expert" $100,000 to invest on their behalf. After 36 months, they would have ended up with $95,900 (a $4,100 LOSS). We will also assume this couple clicked a few buttons on their phone and invested another $100,000 into the total U.S. stock market index. After 36 months, they would have ended up with $128,600 (a $28,600 GAIN).

That's a $32,700 difference between the "expert" and a couple that knows nothing about investing. And to top it all off, they are paying the "expert" for the privilege of losing money for them!

I need to land the plane on this rant. Here are my morals of the story:

• Don't blindly trust "experts." It's hard to know what to trust and not trust, but I'll give you a hint. Whenever someone claims to know what specific stocks to invest in, they are, by default, not an expert. Real experts know that playing the stock-picking game is a fool's errand. A true expert understands the big picture and believes you deserve better (and safer).

• It's so, so, so simple to invest in the stock market.....even if you don't know a lot about investing. The total U.S. stock market index gives you access to practically every company you can buy, all with the click of a button.

• Don't review investment returns out of context. If your portfolio receives a 12% annual return over a period of time, but the overall stock market returned 22%, you did terrible. Conversely, if your portfolio lost 5% per year while the overall stock market lost 7% per year, your returns were ironically good. Context matters.

Simple is good, and good is simple. Don't let "experts" lead you astray.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

How to Avoid Failure and Criticism

Guys, lean in. Lean in close. A little further. I'm whisper typing. Do you want to know how to avoid failure and criticism? If so, today is your lucky day. It involves two very simple steps. Here you go:

1. Do nothing.

2. Say nothing.

You're welcome!

Ok, back to my normal typing volume. What I just said is 100% true. If you really want to avoid failure and criticism, simply do nothing. People will most certainly leave you alone if you endeavor to accomplish nothing. In fact, you might even be applauded for it by some people in your life. You know, the ones who will feel validated by their own inaction.

This formula is simple, and it stands the test of time. If you try to do something or say something, you will inevitably be ridiculed. However, if you just keep quiet and focus only on yourself, you can possibly avoid the wrath of others.

What path do you prefer? Here's my answer: Give me the wrath every day of the week. If the cost of making a difference is the sharp knife of judgment, I guess I'll take the cuts.

On the heels of losing a particular platform and voice, a trusted friend asked if it made me want to quit. After thinking about it briefly, I responded, "No, it makes me want to double down on my efforts. The mission is too great."

I thought I'd stop failing and getting criticized; I didn't.

I thought I'd get used to criticism and failure; I didn't.

I thought this entire thing would get easier; it didn't.

Some of you are feeling the exact same way. So today, my job is to tell you to keep going. If you're failing and/or getting criticized, it means you're doing something. That's not a stain, but rather a badge of honor. Wear it well.

You can easily avoid failure and criticism—that option is on the table. Alternatively, you can dive head-first into them. I hope you choose the latter today!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Growing Into It, Not Out of It

Over the years, I've come to understand a universal understanding about budgeting: It's something you do when money is tight, and then eventually grow out of it. It manifests through various comments:

"My kid doesn't make much; they need to budget."

"We make a lot more than we used to, so we stopped budgeting."

"I make plenty of money now, so budgeting is pointless."

I probably hear a variation of this comment at least once per week. To me, it's one of the biggest misunderstandings about budgeting. Actually, I do think income and the need for budgeting are correlated......but the opposite of conventional wisdom. The more money someone makes, the greater the need to budget.

I'll use two examples to illustrate this point:

• Family A: This family has a limited income. Finances are tight, and most of their income goes toward needs and debt. When they budget, the primary objective is to ensure there's enough income to meet these basic needs.

• Family B: This family has a stout income. Their needs are met, and a bunch of discretionary income remains. They don't "need" to budget.....they are fine. However, without a budget, there's a high likelihood that they squander their opportunity to give, save, invest, and spend on things that add value. Without a budget, their impulses and lack of intentionality will waste much of their upside. But with a budget, the sky's the limit.

Family A has a narrower range of outcomes. During this season of life, money is going to feel tight. The difference between budgeting and not budgeting ranges from barely making ends meet (and possibly accruing credit card debt) to making ends meet with a bit of discretionary income left over.

Family B's range of outcomes is like the Grand Canyon. Without a budget, they can essentially squander all of their upside and somehow manage to live month-to-month, feeling significant financial tension every step of the way (this is common). With a budget, they have the power to harness this beautiful financial blessing for so much good. They can give generously, save for future wants/needs, spend money on things that actually add value, and invest meaningfully and intentionally.

It's sad, but LOTS of Family B's will squander their opportunity. I've had the privilege of working with many of them, and when they understand this principle, it's game over! Here's one example. This family had generated a fantastic income for over a decade. Yet, over that time, they'd experienced minimal positive momentum. They didn't have much saved, they gave practically nothing, and their investment portfolio was significantly behind schedule.

Then came the budget. They pushed back against budgeting because they "make too much to need one." Eventually, though, they trusted me enough to try. Fast forward just a few years, and they were giving away more than 20% of their income, had adequate savings, invested in creating memories, and built a million-dollar portfolio......which triggered a desire to ramp up their giving even more. All because of a simple budget.

Budgets change everything! ESPECIALLY if you "don't need one."

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

But What Will You Give Up?

One of my friends reached out, wanting my input about a big decision he and his wife are considering. They own a house that roughly fits their needs, but house fever is setting in. In a weak moment, they cracked the door open and started looking at houses. Surprise, surprise.....they found an amazing one! Fortunately, though, they are taking a measured approach to the decision; hence, they sought my feedback.

I asked for a handful of numbers to understand the lay of the land. What's the current house worth? What's the current mortgage balance? What's the breakdown of the current mortgage payment? What does the new house cost? After a few simple calculations, I derived one critically important number: $1,700. That's how much their monthly payment would increase if they green-lit this decision. There are many other variables worth considering, such as furnishing the house, higher utility bills, additional maintenance considerations, etc. However, that $1,700 number is vitally important.

We talked about a few of these nuances before I asked THE most important question: "But what will you give up?" In other words, where will this extra $1,700/month come from? Oh yeah, I also added one caveat: "And you can't say, 'We'll just make more income.'" He laughed and said he was about ready to say, "We'll just make more income."

"More income" is a terrible answer to this type of question, as it just stacks additional pressure and tension on us. While this new house might increase their standard of living, taking the just-earn-more-money approach will inevitably lower their quality of life.

So, back to the real question. What will you give up? Buying this house will require them to reallocate $1,700/month away from one or more categories. But which ones? Their giving? Their saving? Their investing? Their fun? All of these have substantive consequences. Buying this house isn't inherantly bad, but they must be clear and honest with themselves first.

That's why we must answer this question when making big financial decisions. There's no such thing as a free lunch. Every time we create a financial obligation in our lives, that money has to come from somewhere. We ought to think about that before making such decisions.

Ultimately, they couldn't think of a good answer to that question. They loved the house, but not give-up-$1,700-of-other-things-we-care-about love. Thus, they passed. Good call; very good call. I suspect they will thank their former selves in due time.

Whatever decision you have on your plate that involves the increase of financial obligations, always ask yourself, "But what will I give up?" Your answer will be telling.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Pushing Boundaries

My first trip to Asia was in early 2016. Sarah and I were invited to Hong Kong for me to interview for a board position. To say I was nervous would be a drastic understatement. I grew up in a farm town in the Midwest. Sure, I had traveled a decent amount by 2016, but for whatever reason, Asia felt exceedingly intimidating. While I was terrified going in, what I experienced upon arriving in Asia would change my life forever. Over the course of that trip, and the many Asia trips I've taken since, it's felt more and more like home.

Quick tangent. Sarah and I sold our house in Iowa in 2019. The plan was to rent a small townhome so that we would have fewer household responsibilities and liabilities (mowing, snow removal, potential basement flooding, etc.). With that newfound freedom, we planned to move to Thailand and split our year between Asia and Iowa. That's how convicted I am about my love for Asia.

I've been reflecting on that first trip to Asia lately. The excitement. The anticipation. The fear. The unknowns. As I'm mere days away from my upcoming Mongolia trip, I can't help but think about how unbothered I am about it. I'm not sure what my days there will look like. I don't know what activities we'll participate in. I don't know what cities I'll be traveling to. I haven't started packing. If there's any way I can describe it, it feels like a weekend road trip to Chicago.

This trip will obviously carry more significance in my life than most, but the fact I have no anxious energy heading into it is a weird feeling to think about. I believe that's the power of pushing boundaries.

Things are scary....until they aren't.

Things are new.....until they become normal.

We don't know how to do something.....until we've done it.

It reminds me of a conversation with a friend who desperately wants to start a podcast, but doesn't know how. He's anxious about it. It feels intimidating. He asked how I learned how to podcast. My answer: "By starting a podcast." Cole and I knew nothing.....until we knew something. Fast-forward 360+ episodes later, and we know a lot more about podcasting than when we recorded that first episode.

This principle applies to every single area of my life and your life. The only thing standing between us and where we want to be is having the courage to push the boundaries. Make yourself uncomfortable. Try something new. Push through the fear. You'll be so grateful you did!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Hop Into My DeLorean

Not long ago, I was having lunch with a former youth group kid. He's nearly 30 years old now, diving head-first into life. Career, marriage, ministry, babies....all the good stuff. Amidst that conversation, I uttered the words, "Man, what I would give to go back to being 30!!!!"

Fast forward a few weeks, and I was talking to an elderly man I cross paths with from time to time. He asked about my businesses, kids, and sports teams. Always a fun brief chat! Toward the end, he uttered the words, "I wish I could go back to age 45!"

I thought a lot about that. I'm sitting here in my early 40s, lamenting how I wish I could go back to 30, and an older man is lamenting how he wishes he could go back to an age that's even older than me!

That's when it dawned on me. I don't have a DeLorean that can take me back to age 30, but I do have a different type of DeLorean. Someday (if someone doesn't kill me first), I'll be and old man. And that old man Travis would probably do anything to have a DeLorean that could take him back to his early 40s.

That means today is a gift. I could wish myself younger all I want, but doing so would prevent me from realizing I probably have 40+ productive years left on this earth. What a gift! I'm already living my DeLorean life for soon-to-be old Travis. I best not waste the opportunity.

However old you are, remember there's probably someone who would give anything to go back to your age. Lucky for you that you're already there! Carpe diem! Make it count. Have an awesome day!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

The Competitor In the Mirror

TJ, my Northern Vessel business partner, received a phone call from the Des Moines Register a few days ago. The reporter wanted to know what he thought about Caribou Coffee opening a new location right next door to our Northern Vessel shop. First, that was the first time either of us had heard about Caribou's plans. Second, we did have thoughts!

I'm not sure what the original intent of the article was. I'm being somewhat presumptuous here, and I certainly don't want to put words in anyone's mouth. In short, I think the general idea is that yet another big, national chain location is moving in on local small businesses. This would make sense, as Caribou has more than 750 locations in 11 countries......while we are one of one. This also makes sense, considering it's the prevailing sentiment in our culture right now. Support small. Support local. Stop letting corporations kill the little man.

What TJ ultimately told them was an entirely different story. He talked about how he was excited to have Caribou join the neighborhood, as it would bring more traffic to our little corridor. And if that happens, perhaps we'll have the opportunity to serve those people. Awesome! Here’s an IG Reel he posted about the situation.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by NORTHERN VESSEL (@northernvessel)

I don't fault Caribou for moving in—good for them! This isn't about big business vs. small business. It's not about local vs. national. It's not about who deserves to be here vs. who doesn't. It's about excellent vs. not. Will we be excellent? Will they be excellent? Caribou has every right to set up shop and try to be successful. We don't feel oppressed or victimized. Instead, we're grateful. We're grateful for the customers who trust us, for the brand we're building, for our team driving the mission forward, and for the opportunity to get 1% better each day.

It reminds me of something my friend Michael once told me in a coaching meeting: "Losers focus on winners, and winners focus on winning." There might have been a few f-bombs dropped in that sentence, but this is a kid-friendly blog.

Here's the last line of the Register article, a quote from TJ: "At the end of the day, excellence wins." TJ is so right about that one. Our only choice is to be excellent. Luckily, our only desire is to be excellent.

Regardless of what you do, I have a challenge for you! With so much noise all around us, it's so easy to get distracted and sidetracked from the mission. It's easy to take offense, feel threatened, get jealous, and feel robbed. Those aren't choices.....at least not productive ones. Instead, let's just focus on being excellent. After all, our real competition is the person staring at us in the mirror. Excellence always wins. Just be your best today, get 1% better, and do it again. The rest will take care of itself.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

You May Only Get One Chance

I have a talk coming up next week. I'm excited about it, but with my typical nervous energy. All talks mean a lot to me, and this one is no different. It reminds me of a concept I think about a lot. This talk might be my one and only chance to make a difference in someone's life. Some people in that room have never heard my name, and may never hear my name again. However, I have a 60-minute window to make a difference. That's where the nervous energy comes in. What an opportunity! What a responsibility!

Most of you probably aren't giving a talk next week, but you are doing something that will provide you with rare access to someone. For 5, 15, 30, or even 60 minutes, you might have a brief but powerful window to move the needle in someone's life. I think about all the brief interactions I’ve had throughout the course of my life. Many of them are fleeting and unmemorable, but some make a lasting impact.

I think about the stranger who stopped when I was stranded with a broken-down vehicle. I only spent 10 minutes with him in my life, but his assistance made my day (and perhaps saved it as well).

I think about the woman at the stadium security checkpoint who pointed out I had a forbidden (but not dangerous) item in my bag. Instead of forcing me to trudge all the way back to my car, she showed me grace. That saved my night.

I think about a man who took an hour out of his day to meet with a young 19-year-old Travis to share some wisdom and insights about running a business. This guy had far better things to do that day, but he invested in me. I've never seen him again, but wow, he made an impact on me.

None of these people know how much they impacted me…..but I do! We may only get one chance to make a difference in someone’s life. See the opportunity. Embrace the responsibility. Move the needle!

My upcoming speaking event is actually virtual, and it's free! You know what that means!?!? It means every blog reader has the opportunity to attend (if you're interested). It's with the Greater Des Moines Partnership and is part of their Top Five For Small Business series. It's Wednesday, September 25th at 9AM CST. The Des Moines Partnership is a great organization, and they are doing wonderful things to cultivate and grow business and innovation in our city. I'll be giving a slightly modified version of my main keynote talk, so if you haven't heard that talk before, now's your chance! Here is a preview article I wrote for The Partnership last week, which gives you a taste of what to expect. AND HERE IS THE EVENT PAGE WHERE YOU CAN LEARN MORE AND COMPLETE YOUR FREE REGISTRATION. I hope to see some of you there!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

I Guess I’ll Go There

Today's post will be a bit different than most. It's a post I never intended to write, but I feel an unshakable nudge to do it. I'm not sure what the impact could or should be, but I pray whatever impact it has, it outweighs the discomfort and possible consequences of writing it. I'm also willfully exceeding my self-imposed 500-word limit, but I hope it's worth it!

Occasionally, I'll get hit with a particular question that shakes me to the core. I immediately know the answer to said question, but I rarely answer it head-on. Those closest to me know the answer, but outside of a select few, it's a mostly unknown piece of my story......well, until today. Here's the question:

"You look at life very weird." Yeah, I realize that's not a question. That's the typical setup to the question. Here's what follows: "Why do you see the world the way you do, and what makes you choose the weird life you live?" That's a paraphrase, but it's an amalgamation of the various ways it gets asked.

Several factors probably play into that answer (including faith), but there's one specific factor that, as you'll see in a moment, perhaps moves the needle more than I care to admit. For more than ten years, I have lived under the threat of death (at the hands of another). I've been told it will happen, and others around us have been told it will happen. Not if, but when. It's been an ever-present piece of Sarah and I's lives. We've worked with authorities in multiple municipalities, but unfortunately, nothing can be done until something happens. It feels a bit ironic that "something happening" is me dying, but once that something happens, there's no longer a reason for authorities to protect me from something happening. Oh well, I've made peace with this long ago.

I've always joked that the end of my life will appear on a Dateline episode. It's a tasteless joke, I know. But perhaps it's the joke I needed to tell to work through the insanity of my situation.

I lived in fear for the longest time. Anxious about where I was. Nervous to post on social media. Hesitant to put myself in vulnerable situations. Then, it dawned on me; I was treating myself as if I were already dead.....which is just as bad as death itself. The other person, without even following through on their promise, had already won. That moment sparked an immediate and drastic shift in me.

Instead of living as if I were dying, I would live as if I were celebrating the fact I was still alive. It made me think about meaning, impact, and relationships. I realized that if my life were ultimately cut short, I ought to live with as much meaning and impact as possible while I have the chance.

I don't think about this situation as much anymore. It's not part of my everyday life, and I no longer look over my shoulder. While enough time has passed to cause this threat to (hopefully) become an asterisk in my story, there's no doubt it influences my decisions and which paths I take in this journey called life. I hope I live a long and meaningful life, but if it's going to get cut short for any reason, at least it will be a short AND MEANINGFUL life.

I'm fascinated by people who have looked death in the face. Cancer champions, car crash survivors, and a myriad of other wild situations. One thing that stands out for most is that their experience has significantly altered how they see and approach life. Meaning. Purpose. Gratitude for the time here. The realization that our time is limited.

I just met a new friend yesterday who lives with unapologetic joy, purpose, and meaning. So much so that I brought up this concept with her; I knew something must have happened. Sure enough, she shares the most tragic and painful story imaginable. She stared death in the face, and while it was excruciatingly heartbreaking, something beautiful came out of it: the life she leads and the impact she's making on this world.

While I don't wish terrifying and life-threatening experiences on anyone, I deeply desire each and every person to understand how special this opportunity of life is, find meaning in all of it, and not wait until tomorrow to "actually enjoy it."

Yeah, I'm definitely weird. But I know a lot of other weirdos who also view and live life differently. I hope they realize how much impact they are making, and more importantly, I hope you self-identify with them!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Kicking In the Door

If there's one thing that never ceases to amazing me, it's our human instinct to justify our desires. We'll use just about anything to squint, twist, and sell ourselves into a decision we probably shouldn't make. I'll share an example. This family gave me permission to share their story, but this isn't necessarily about them. Millions of people are similar, and I encounter this phenomenon each week in my coaching work.

The couple has two kids, with a third on the way. They drive a mid-size SUV with about 125,000 miles on it. It's worth about $15,000 today, and they own it free and clear. It's been a reliable vehicle for them, but with the need for a third car seat coming soon, they need something bigger. This is a fact; their current vehicle does not adequately handle three car seats. We defined the gap, identified the need, and established a timeline. The meeting adjourned, and we went our separate ways; so far, so good.

Fast forward about 45 days, and we're scheduled to meet again. When I received their pre-meeting information, I spotted a new number on the top half of their balance sheet. "2024 Escalade". "$95,000." Oh goodness. I immediately scanned down to the bottom of the balance sheet. "Escalade Loan." "$80,000." Double goodness!

I tried to remain calm and approach the subject like a sensible, stable, and collected being.....and I half succeeded.

Me: "What in the world happened since we last met?!?!"

Them: "You know. We needed something bigger."

Me: "Bigger, yes, but you took this to an entirely new level."

Them: "It's exactly what we needed. It's bigger, pretty reliable, and comfortable. We need something comfortable for our road trips."

They needed more space, for sure. But their eventual decision wasn't really about more space. They just used that crack in the door to justify kicking it in. There were a million ways to meet their space needs that didn't involve this type of decision, but that's not what they wanted. They decided to use this named need (more space) to get something far, far, far grander than what they actually needed.

We humans love to do this! We find a need (the crack), then let our desires (the foot) kick the door wide open. Then, when we have to look in the mirror and account for our decisions, we get the privilege of saying, "Well, I needed _____, and I successfully addressed the need." In doing so, we also happened to fulfill wants x, y, and z. Quite the coincidence, eh?

We love kicking the doors in! We do it in our personal lives, in our businesses, and in our organizations. We clearly define a need, give ourselves permission to address the need, and ultimately make a decision that's really about far more than the original need (but meeting the need in the process).

Be careful about kicking in doors. You might not like what you find on the other side.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Scare Yourself Today

I'm heading to Mongolia soon. It'll be my first time there since 2017, so needless to say, I'm excited! It will be fun to reconnect with friends, meet new people, hold some productive meetings, and immerse myself back into the Mongolian culture. This topic recently came up during a conversation with a friend.

"You're going to Mongolia!?!? I could never do anything like that!"

"Why not?"

"I would be too nervous."

"So?"

"I don't like doing things that make me nervous. So I don't think I could ever do something like that."

I feel bad for my friend. Not because I think he should go to Mongolia, but because he's missing out on so much of life by avoiding being uncomfortable.

The first time I went to Asia, I was terrified. I loved it.

The first time I went to the Middle East, I was terrified. I loved it.

The first time I published a podcast, I was terrified. I now love it.

The first time I financially coached a family, I was terrified. It soon became second nature.

It's a cycle: Be fearful > do something scary > grow from it > become less scared > do it again > experience more growth > possibly learn to like it.

If I took an inventory of all the things I most enjoy doing and add the most value to my life, most could be traced back to an origin of fear.

I'm not alone in this sentiment. Countless people I know would say the exact same thing: Do things you're scared of. Don't wait until you're no longer afraid.....do them despite being afraid.

I'm sorry to say it, but I don't know how to coach people through this. I've tried, but fear is a powerful force. Instead, each of us has a powerful role to play. First, we need to live it. Do things we're scared of. Grow. Be less scared next time. Repeat.

Second, we need to share our stories with others. People don't want to be told what to do, but they are moved by the experiences of others. That's where you come in. Share your stories. Vulnerably share how you were afraid....and then what came from it. Those are remarkable stories. They WILL move the needle in others.

Then, if all goes well, those people will become the new do-scary-things champions, sharing their own stories with the others.

Do something scary today!

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Get On the Stage

The boys had their second rock concert yesterday. It was a fantastic experience, and I couldn't have been prouder of them. They played at a new venue in our town in front of hundreds of supportive fans. One kid had five songs, and the other four (with one overlapping song where they both performed together). As the event kicked off, the owner of their band organization addressed the audience. He explained their teaching philosophies are upside-down compared to the prevailing strategies. Instead of practicing to perform, they perform to practice.

In the traditional model, you would practice, practice, and practice, hoping to eventually be good enough to perform on stage. Conversely, in this model, the stage performance is the practice. The act of performing in front of hundreds of people builds resiliency, experience, and a love for the craft. It's not perfect. Heck, it's messy. After all, these are seven and eight-year-olds, and most have less than one year of experience. Finn and Pax had three months of total music experience when they did their first show, and six months now. Yet, they are on stage performing in front of hundreds of people. I love this backward model. The performance is the practice.

When this backward practice-as-performance concept was communicated yesterday, it reminded me of how so many of us live life in the conventional model. We tend to live in a world of theoreticals, what-ifs, and when-I'm-good-enoughs. We practice, dwell, and practice some more, hoping to one day be good enough to put our ideas into motion.

What if we followed this alternative model? What if instead of obsessing about trying to get it right or figuring out the perfect way of doing it, we simply did it? What if we just started investing?.....performing as practice. What if we just started budgeting?.....performing as practice. What if we just started paying off our debt?.....performing as practice. What if we just started applying for jobs or making phone calls?.....performing as practice.

We can practice, practice, practice all we want, but it won't move the needle nearly as much as getting up on that stage. Similar to my kids and their band, it's not perfect. It's messy. You're going to fail. But that's the gateway to greatness. Gain that experience, build resilience, and fall in love with the craft.

Pax and I had some interesting conversations yesterday. He was beyond excited about the performance, but equally terrified. He talked of having butterflies in his stomach. He said he thought he was going to throw up. I watched him anxiously pacing back and forth for 20 minutes before he walked up on stage. Then, when it was his turn, he confidently sat behind his drum kit, beat the daylights out of them, grooved with the music, and played up for the crowd. It was everything to him. As he walked off the stage, I caught him side-eyeing me; he gave me a little nod, then a smirk. That performance was exactly what he needed!

Get on the stage.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

When NOT to Push the Button

Yesterday, I talked about the behavioral phenomenon where people find more perceived security in their cash than the actual relief gained from using said cash to pay off their debt. I first framed it up through my illustrative Saw-esque concept, but then shared the story of an actual family that's continually struggled for seven years with $47,000 of debt (and a hefty $1,300/month combined payment to go along with it). All the while, they were sitting on $60,000 of cash in savings. At any point on the journey, they could have "pressed the button" and instantly paid off the debt (leaving them with $13,000 in savings and $1,300/month extra in their budget).

I said it without saying it, but I think we should push the button! Contrary to common belief, actual relief is almost always superior to the false sense of security of our cash. In the name of having "security," this family lived a stressed and low-quality life for the better part of a decade. The alternative scenario would have provided much fruit. Pay off the debt, use the additional monthly cashflow to rebuild savings (to whatever extent needed), and live with far more margin.

Today, though, I want to share when NOT to push the button. For as strongly as I feel about pushing the button, I'm equally as passionate about NOT pushing the button under one specific scenario: When the behavior that caused the financial mess in the first place hasn't yet been corrected.

In yesterday's example, this couple deeply wanted to create freedom and gain momentum. They made some very poor choices many years ago and were still haunted by them. They have since gained a healthier perspective on money, started budgeting, and found unity in their finances. In other words, they have addressed the root cause of the initial problem.

Let's assume they hadn't. Imagine this same couple came to me with $47,000 of non-mortgage debt, $60,000 of cash, and perpetually bad habits. They aren't budgeting. They still find themselves dipping into their credit cards each month. They plan to use debt to buy their next car. They haven't been sitting on $47,000 for a long time, but that number continues to grow and will likely be higher in the coming months.

In that scenario, using the cash to pay off the debt would be utterly destructive. Doing so would immediately create relief, but also cause a false sense of accomplishment. They would let their guard down, feel progressively more comfortable to spend, and mimic the same habits that led them into this mess. Translation: They will recreate the same situation they just "fixed." Fast forward 18 months, and they are back to $40,000-$50,000 of debt AND have no cash. That's a worst-case scenario I've seen played out far too many times.

Therefore, push the button. Please push the button! However, before doing so, make sure you have a healthy perspective, solid habits, and intentionality. Let the button be a blessing, not a curse.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

To Press or Not to Press (the Button)

I want to start with a little thought experiment. Think of it as my PG-rated version of Saw. You're forced live your life carrying a 20-pound backpack on your shoulders. It's not impossible, but it doesn't feel great. You constantly feel the weight, and it's uncomfortable. It doesn't prevent you from living, but it's less than ideal. No single moment causes acute physical pain, but the cumulative impact of wearing it starts taking a toll. The whole time, however, you have the option of removing the weight forever. All that's required is you push a button on your kitchen counter. The moment you push the button, the weight disappears. Instant relief! There's one small catch: You can only press the button once. Would you press the button?

____

A couple walks into my office, struggling with debt. They are beaten down and frustrated. They look tired. Here's what their situation looked like:

• Student Loan Debt: $22,000 (with a $580 minimum payment)

• Car Loan: $15,000 (with a $520 minimum payment)

• Credit Card: $10,000 (with a $200 minimum payment)

Additional context:

• These are private student loans

• The car has negative equity, meaning they would still owe money even if they sold it.

• They've been roughly in this same spot for their entire 7-year marriage.

After factoring in these three minimum payments totaling $1,300, they have very little margin in their monthly budget. It's tight! They make it work most months, and are doing alright, but they feel the constant weight and tension. Month after month, year after year, they experience the cumulative impact of this weight. It's nothing acute, but it's starting to feel exhausting. They haven't gone deeper into debt in years but haven't found a way to make progress on it, either. Continually seeing this debt hover around $47,000 is taking a toll.

If only they had a button to push! Well, they do, actually! Here's one detail I haven't shared with you: They have about $60,000 in a savings account. "Have you considered using some of your cash to pay off the debt, which would free up $1,300/month in your budget?" I asked them. Like many people before them, they gave me the answer I prayed wasn't coming. "We can't use that cash. That's our security."

"Security?!?! You don't have any security. You're already drowning!!" I was probably sharper than I should have been, but I needed them to realize how badly they were already hurting. They could immediately pay off all $47,000 of debt and still have $13,000 of cash left.

They aren't alone in this sentiment; it's all too common! The perceived sense of security always emotionally outweighs the benefit of actual relief. This is one area where our psychology tricks us. I'm going to flip this on its head....here's what I believe to be the truth: Actual relief always outweighs our false sense of security. They could press the button, but continually choose not to.

Not all people have these buttons to push, but many do. And with that choice, many choose to continually suffer, all in the name of "security."

Would you press that button?

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

This May Only Make Half Sense

Sarah: "Aren't you going to write your blog?"

Me: "I feel like trash!"

Sarah: "You NEVER miss your blog. You've been far sicker than this, and you've never missed a single one."

Me: "I'll figure it out."

Sarah: "Good."

She has a great bedside manner, doesn't she? I expected something more like, "Oh, I'm so sorry you don't feel good. Is there anything I can do for you?" Instead, she immediately reacted with shock at the possibility of me missing my first writing day in nearly two years. The truth is, I can't even fathom a scenario where I don't publish on a given day. Even if both my hands were chopped off, there's a solution out there somewhere. "Hey Siri....."

This is a far cry from November 2022 when I started this blog. Things were going great.....until I got about 10 days in. At that point, I started wondering:

• A) Am I crazy?

• B) Do I even have time for this?

• C) Will I run out of ideas in a matter of weeks.....or days?

With nearly 670 consecutive days under my belt, I can confidently answer these questions. Yes, I'm crazy. No, I don't have time.....but we make time for things that matter. No, there is no limit to the number of ideas if we give ourselves permission.

I did think about Sarah's comment a lot, though. She makes a very interesting point. There have been several days in the last few years where I've felt like I'm on my deathbed. Yet, I somehow wrote, edited, and published a blog each and every one of those days.

I went from not having time or ideas to publish even 2-3 articles per week to not willing to go a single day without writing/publishing.

As I sit here with only half a working brain, I can't help but think how profound the power of commitment is. When we do things because that's what we do, there's nothing that can stop us. This idea makes me think about so many of my clients. Once a new habit is set, it's etched in stone.

I have clients who spent 20 years without budgeting a single time (and being revolted by the idea) to have the practice be a completely non-negotiable part of their marriage and finances.

I have clients who struggled to pay off a single dollar of debt who now attack it monthly like their lives depend on it.

I have clients who lived in comfort and security their entire adult lives and now wake up each day actively pursuing discomfort and struggle.

It's amazing what happens when we stretch ourselves past our falsely-conceived boundaries and into uncharted territory. I hope this piece makes sense to read, as writing doesn't feel completely sensical. More importantly, I hope it gets you thinking about what boundary you need to break through and set a new practice into motion. It will change you. I promise.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.

Closing the Loop

Finn and I were able to close the loop on his gift to the children's hospital yesterday. If you don't know what I'm referring to, I highly recommend reading it here! It was a beautiful time together. We packaged his letter, money, and paperwork, drove to the post office (where he personally dropped his gift in the mail), and we celebrated with ice cream. He was beaming, and I was so proud of him.

Closing the loop was such an important step. I could have made a gift on Finn's behalf and told him, "Good job," but him seeing it through to the natural end was critical for his growth. Here's what the entire loop looked like:

• He worked hard and earned money (actual cash he could see and feel)

• He spent some of that money on fun things (which he personally purchased with the cash)

• He saved some of that money for a bigger purchase (a pocketknife....and yes, he cut himself the first day).

• He set some of that money aside for giving (which he used for the gift to the children's hospital).

Each step, he was personally involved. He could touch and feel every part of the process. The pain and accomplishment of the work. The satisfaction of receiving compensation. The fun of spending. The discipline and sacrifice of saving. The selflessness and love of giving.

This is where so many of us whiff. Whether it's ourselves or in our parenting, we don't close loops with finances. We take shortcuts, stop short of fully completing goals, or inadvertently rob ourselves (and our kids) of the tangibility. When we do this, we lose something important. We lose the meaning, fulfillment, and humanity of the journey.

I wanted Finn to see, feel, and experience every step of this little journey. Once that loop was closed, it triggered so many questions:

• "Do you think my gift will make a difference?"

• "Can I give to the hospital again?"

• "Can I give to other people, too?"

• "Do you think God is happy with my decision?"

• "If I work more, will I have more money to do things with?"

• "Is it okay to save and give more of my money next time I get paid?"

• "When can I get a job?"

His little mind is working overtime. This is the beauty of closing loops. Make a goal. Work toward the goal. Accomplish the goal. Celebrate the win. Start afresh. Life can be a series of awesome loops if we allow it.

I'm sure Finn will screw up many, many times. He'll do selfish things. He'll make mistakes. He'll hurt people. But yesterday, he took a step in a positive direction. He grew, and I probably did as well.

Create new loops, enjoy the journey, close them, and repeat.

____

Did someone forward you this post? We're glad you're here! If you'd like to subscribe to The Daily Meaning to receive these posts directly in your inbox (for free!), just CLICK THIS LINK. It only takes 10 seconds.