Too Too Much of a Good Thing

Yesterday was a fun day. We had the opportunity to spend some time in the sun at a phenomenal little resort right along the ocean. It was absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately, it ended up being too much of a good thing….or maybe too too much. With some combination of sun sickness and food poisoning, I spent the last 18 hours with some of the worst sicknesses imaginable. I'll save you the gory details, but my favorite part was the horrid hallucinations.

That's why you're receiving this post later than usual, as I have been at death's doorstep until this very moment.

Yesterday was a very harsh reminder that too much of a good thing is never a good thing. The sun was amazing, but seven hours of constant sunlight while hanging right next to the Equator is not a good thing. I got punished for my overzealousness.

The same goes for nearly every area of life: Money, stuff, status, relationships, food, vacation. For each of these, there's enough. The amount that will add value to your life, retain a healthy balance, and live a quality life. Then, there's too much of a good thing. Once we cross that line into too much territory, these things no longer benefit us, but start deteriorating us.

The trouble is it's sometimes difficult to recognize when we've crossed that line. The worst thing we can do is anchor ourselves to what other people are doing, as I did yesterday. When we use others as the point of comparison, we're likely to inadvertently jump off the cliff because we followed them right off. Just because others were getting seven hours of straight Equator-level sunshine, it doesn't mean I should be. Similarly, just because your peers are buying monster houses, fancy new cars, and funding a lifestyle that should only be reserved for a multi-millionaire, it doesn't mean you have to. Don't anchor yourself to others.

Instead, we need to decide what's enough. What's enough sun? What's enough house? What's enough car? What's enough lifestyle? If we make this conscious decision, we can live a healthier and more fulfilling life.

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Trigger. Trigger. What Is the Trigger?

One of my favorite conversations with young people (under 25 years old) is asking them what they want to do when they're adults, and why. I say under 25 because that's typically when people start allowing their dreams to die.

Every single time, there's a trigger. Something that happened. A story. An event. A set of circumstances. THE trigger. For example, one of my former youth group kids experienced the pain, suffering, and victory over childhood cancer. After spending much of her life in and out of hospitals, she grew up to become a pediatric nurse, serving young kids who are going through similar experiences she went through. Beautiful!

One of my high school classmates experienced two triggers in the same day. When we were kids, he witnessed his grandfather pass away on a plane while flying home from Disney World. He would eventually become a pilot AND an undertaker. A morbid but true story.

When it comes to my own kids, I encourage them to put everything on the table. Anything and everything is a possible dream career. I don't discourage. I don't push. I don't manipulate. I simply expose them to as many things as possible, and know something will eventually trigger them.

This week has been especially fun for me as a parent. Being away from their rhythms and routines, they have a front-row seat to see all sorts of new opportunities. I always wonder what will trigger them. Will it be the musicians they've listened to? Or the singers, dancers, skaters, and divers they watched? Will it be the ship captain or any number of the crew they've interacted with? Will it be the local business owners we encountered on the islands? Will it be something I never even realized? Or, maybe nothing will trigger them.....yet.

The boys want to start a YouTube channel with his brother, performing classic rock songs on their drums and guitar. Cool. I'll help them get it going.

Finn wants to start a mowing business like a local kid who mowed our yard a few times. Amazing. I told him I can help show him when the time is right.

Whatever their eventual triggers are, I will do whatever I can to support, encourage, and cultivate them.....even if it's not something I would have chosen for him. This is a controversial take in our current times, but I won't specifically push my kids to pursue something for the sake of money or status. Instead, I'll encourage meaning 100% of the time. That may or may not include money and status, but pursuing meaning will certainly produce meaning.

My two little men have maybe 70-80 years left on this planet. I want them to spend it pursuing meaning, finding fulfillment, and impacting others. If they make a bunch of money, great. If they earn a ton of status, fine. But I will always encourage them to seek the meaning first, no matter what.

It all starts with a trigger. A trigger I may be part of, but one I may not know about for a long time.

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When In Honduras

Our plan for this family vacation was to keep it simple—lots of swimming, eating, and playing. We weren't intending to do any crazy excursions. However, as I was flipping through some of the different options, one stood out to me: Playing with sloths. Have you ever played with a sloth? I haven't even seen a sloth in real life. Do they even exist? Are they really that slow? Are they as cute as I picture them? There was only one way to find out. When in Honduras, as they say.

So, yesterday, while docked in Roatan, Honduras, we took a little family adventure that included a cute little sloth named Flash. We held parrots, let monkeys jump on our heads, and viewed the coral reef through a glass-walled submarine boat. Oh yeah, and we met Flash!

Just say yes to memories. Two days ago, I had never even seen a real-life sloth. Today, we're family friends with a cute little sloth named Flash. That memory is worth far more than a material possession that will surely end up in a landfill 5-10 years from now. That memory is forever!

Wherever life takes you this week, month, or year, find opportunities to say yes to memories. They may seem questionable, or a hassle, or expensive, or perhaps even a waste, but some of them will sear into you and your family's memory banks forever. Not all of them, and not all the time. Some might fall flat, land short, or be all-out duds. However, some will be pure gold. Yesterday was pure gold for our family. I'm glad I said yes when every ounce of me wanted to say no and stick to the plan of remaining chill. Future me will thank past me one day.

Let your future self do the same to you!

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A Pretty Pathetic Life

A blog reader whom I've never met recently reached out with a personal update. After reading this blog for the last 18 months, as well as simmering in modest misery (or general indifference) for the previous 15 years at his job, he finally decided life is too short to wake up every day to go to a job that sucks. His previous goal was to retire as quickly as possible so he can quit this soul-sucking rat race. He found a new job, quit his old one, and now lives a different reality. He no longer obsesses about retirement. Instead, he wonders how long he'll get to do this newfound awesome work.

His family took a 15% pay cut for this shift to happen, which scared him to death. However, after living in his new financial reality for the past several months, he realizes that while his standard of living is slightly lower, his family's quality of life has significantly improved!

It reminds me of a message I received a few years ago after publishing my favorite Tweet of all time, which I occasionally re-publish for sport: "Early retirement isn't a dream. It's the consolation prize for not having a dream."

As you can imagine, that sort of idea can set this world ablaze. I received a storm of backlash from that Tweet, ranging from text messages, to DMs, to in-person disagreements. However, my favorite response to date is this: "You must have a pretty pathetic life to prefer working."

He got me! He nailed it. I, indeed, live a pretty pathetic life. So much so that all I want to do is slave away in misery, biding my time until I'm buried. I'm joking, of course, but I can't stop thinking about this cultural narrative about work. Work = bad. Work = necessary evil. Work = misery.

As I often mention, we don't have to choose between meaning at home and meaning at work. Not only can we have both, but we should have both. We wake up with meaning, then drive to meaning, then have meaning all day, then drive home toward meaning, then meaning until we go to bed, then repeat. It doesn't have to be a constant back-and-forth between meaning and misery. We don't have to torture ourselves for decades on end.

So, to my new blog friend who must be living a pretty pathetic life to no longer crave an early retirement, cheers! I hope these next 20+ years are far more rewarding than anything early retirement could have provided you. This is where your career starts to get good!

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This Could All Be Yours, For Only…..

One of my friends recently reached out to me, confused and seemingly frustrated. He was dumbfounded as to how his friends were seemingly lapping him financially when, in his estimation, their income was probably similar. When I asked what makes him think that, he cited a few financial decisions one of his closest friends recently made. In short, his best friend purchased a $700,000 house, which apparently proves he's rich. As I explained to my confused friend, a large house purchase isn't a sign of wealth, but rather a sign of a high cost of living. Here's the quick math I gave him:

• Let's assume his friend made a 5% down payment, or $35,000. That means they needed to finance the remaining $665,000.

• With a 6.75% interest rate on a 30-year schedule, the monthly principal and interest payment would be approximately $4,300/month.

• The real estate taxes for their jurisdiction would be approximately $1,200/month.

• Homeowner's insurance would likely run in the $200/month range.

• Therefore, their minimum monthly payment would be approximately $5,700.

• I say minimum because that number does not include repairs and maintenance. We should expect to pay at least 1% of the house's value per year (over the long run) on repairs and maintenance, or approximately $500-$600/month.

• Oh yeah, and while it assumes they put a $35,000 down payment on the house, it doesn't factor in any money they spent on furnishing it.

Therefore, on average, this couple is spending at least $6,000/month for their house, plus another $50,000+ the day they move in.

"Holy #$#@!!!! I would never want that sort of pressure on my family. We'd have to give up everything else we value in order to make that work. And that financial pressure would make us feel like absolute crap."

"Good, so you have no reason to be jealous of them!"

There's no free lunch in life. Whenever we see someone around us making extravagant purchases, there's a very real cost. There are consequences. When they spend that money, it's $x less they get to spend on something else. Or if they financed it, it's $y more added to their budget each month, for years, to pay it off. Every action has a reaction.

If that last paragraph is true, then we should all spend less time being jealous of other people's decisions, and more focused on simply making value-add decisions for our own family. Life is so much better that way!

Or through the lens of a recent conversation I had with one of my sons, he asked, "Dad, why don't we live in a house like my friend ____ lives in?" Translation: Why does our house suck when his friend is living in a mansion? My answer was simple. We make intentional choices that allow us to do the most important things for our family: Dad gets to help people, Mom gets to stay at home to be with you more, we give generously, and we travel to make lots of memories.

Whatever financial choices you make today, I hope they align with your family's values, goals, and vision. Don't live the world's values....live yours.

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The Power of Uncomfortable Memories

Some memories are easy to say "yes" to. They are appealing, instantly satisfying no-brainers. They ooze with awesomeness, and we can't wait to reach for them. Then, there are the others.

We boarded our cruise ship yesterday, eager to escape the -30-degree wind chills that have been wreaking havoc on the Midwest for weeks. Yet, as we boarded the ship, the temps were a shockingly low 45-degree wind chill. I was freezing and tired when we finally entered our stateroom, ready to relax. Then, I heard the magical words: "Dad, let's go swimming!"

Oh boy. These kids came to go swimming, and 45-degree temps weren't going to stop them. Reluctantly, I changed into my trunks, and we spent the next two hours doing something more closely resembling the polar bear plunge than Caribbean cruise swimming. We sipped Shirley Temples and played like it was our only chance to swim for months. We bounced back and forth between the hot tub and the pool, not letting the weather dictate our itinerary (nor caring about the fact our feet were completely numb). Memories were made......lots of memories were made.

We'll likely make a ton of new memories together on this trip, but I have no doubt spending the afternoon swimming in 45-degree temps will be seared in for years (or decades).

There's something special about uncomfortable memories. Those memories where we're pushed just outside our comfort zone, resulting from our willingness to stretch ourselves into saying "yes" to things our impulses tell us to decline. In fact, if I were to list out my top 20 memories of all time, 15 of them would probably be the result of a "yes" decision I can't believe I made. If I had only trusted my gut and said "no" like any sane person should, each one of those special memories would be wiped from my being (as well as any impact they had on my growth and development).

My call to action today is to say "yes" to uncomfortable opportunities. Even if every ounce of you is screaming "no," just say "yes." You don't even have to know what you're doing it, other than to know something good will come from it. Something good always comes from it!

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Ripping Off the Facade

Running a business is a lot like parenting: While it seems like everyone is an expert, we’re all just winging it. It seems daunting and overwhelming because, well, it is. But then it gets somewhat easier, eventually, while still being forever difficult. This is a gross misconception I see with a lot of young business owners. Not young in the sense of their age, but young as it pertains to their experience running a business. We’re led to believe that owning our own businesses means we get to set our own hours, be our own boss, work less, and have more fun. While these things can be true, they typically aren’t. Young business owners can quickly become shell-shocked, morphing into feelings of inadequacy, helplessness, and a constant state of being overwhelmed. Imposter syndrome starts to set in and we might spend our days (and sleepless nights) wondering if we’re cut out for this whole entrepreneurship thing. We wake up feeling like we might just be the next Jeff Bezos, then go to bed later that day wondering if we’re about to be homeless. 

Can you relate to that? Based on the hundreds of conversations I’ve had with business owners, I think most can. Today, I want to remove the facade from business ownership. Whatever you think business ownership is, it is. But all that insecurity, doubt, and struggle you carry with you? It’s that, too. Just because you might feel inadequate, overwhelmed, and underequipped doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be a business owner. These are common experiences; I’d argue healthy experiences. All meaningful work should push us, challenge us, and stretch us, including (and especially) business ownership. We should regularly do things we’ve never done before, wondering how we got into this precarious situation. 

What sets successful business owners apart from the rest are a handful of clear characteristics:

• The stomach to fight through the ups and downs, knowing there will constantly be more fires to put out.

• A grand vision for where you’re trying to go, willing to sacrifice the near-term shiny objects for your biggerpurpose. 

• The humility to know you can’t do it all on your own.

• The willingness to do things you’ll inevitably fail at.

• The curiosity to ask questions and learn new ideas/skills that seemed foreign to you yesterday.

• A commitment to understand your numbers and have a firm grasp of your financial structure.

• An unwavering desire to serve people well and add value to their lives. 

Even if you possess all those characteristics, it’s still going to be hard! Very hard! But that’s what makes business ownership so beautiful. If it were that simple, everyone would do it. And if it were that easy, everyone would do it well.

If this sounds like you, don’t let fear (and imposter syndrome) be what stops you.

If this doesn’t sound like you and you’re currently a business owner, don’t be afraid to step back into traditional employment. Moving away from business ownership doesn’t define you as a loser, just as moving toward business ownership doesn’t make you a winner. Work that matters is work that matters……period. Please never let someone else tell you what your meaningful work should be. 

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It’s Not the Job That Sucks

As a reminder, 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. Pretty sad, eh? 7 out of 10 people are living somewhere between mere tolerance and absolute misery. I've talked about this countless times before, but today, I will take a different approach. Here's my hot take of the week: It's not your job that sucks.

Well, your job may or may not suck, but that's not what's driving this 70% number. There's a saying that lives rent-free in my head: "People don't leave bad jobs; they leave bad leaders."

The data is beginning to show that people who have a terrible job but a great leader surprisingly experience more enjoyment, meaning, and fulfillment in their work than people who have a great job but a terrible leader.

My own life experience affirms this. When I was in high school, I worked at a cheese factory. No, not a Cheesecake Factory. A literal cheese factory. Unsurprisingly, being 17 years old and waking up at 4AM every Sunday to package cheese is a terrible job. It was cold, boring, and monotonous. However, I enjoyed that job! Why? Because my leaders were really good. They breathed life into the work, and the culture thrived.

Conversely, many years later, I had one of the coolest jobs ever. I won't share too many details about it, as I don't want what I'm about to say to land on a specific person. But let's just say the job was really freaking cool! However, my leader wasn't so great. Their attitude, coldness, self-serving priorities, treatment of others, seeming unwillingness to hold people accountable, and overall lack of respect created an environment where neither I nor others found enjoyment, meaning, or fulfillment. They sucked the life out of the work, and the culture suffered.

I have two takeaways today. First, if you're one of the 70% of Americans who dislike or hate their job, it means you might be one good leader away from joining the 30% club. Perhaps that means an intentional shift within your current organization, a similar job at a different organization, or some other lateral but small move would suffice. It doesn't mean you must blow up your entire life like I did. You don't have to make a drastic 180-degree turn to find meaning in your work. This should be fantastic news! Congratulations, one small tweak might be the difference between misery and meaning. Between tolerance and fulfillment. Between dread and excitement.

Here's my second takeaway. Many of you are leaders in your organizations. Through your leadership (or lack thereof), some of you are turning crappy jobs into amazing jobs, and some are turning amazing jobs into crappy jobs. You possess the keys to other people's work experience. While that doesn't sound fair, and perhaps an overweight responsibility, it's reality. It's your reality, and it's your team's reality. Oh yeah, and it's an amazing opportunity!

So, if you're in a job you dislike or hate (as most Americans are), ask yourself why. Is it really the job? Or is it your leaders? The answer to that question may change everything.

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Adopting the Box

Each year, our family participates in a multi-week church program for families. The goal of the event is to connect families of young children together, share meals together, and serve together. We eat, play games, hear a brief message, and do a service project together with other families. It's become one of my family's favorite events of the year.

A few weeks ago, the night's service project was to go to the grocery store, purchase various food items, and drop them off in a pre-assigned blessing box. If you're not familiar with a blessing box, it's a little stand-alone cabinet that houses non-perishable food items for whoever needs them, no questions asked. If someone needs food, they just need to find a local blessing box and grab whatever they want. These boxes are placed all around the residential areas of town.

Here’s an example of what blessing boxes look like

The boys were excited to shop for the box, which led to an adventure at the grocery store. Each had particular items (personal favorites) they wanted to bless people with, and were excited to deliver the goods to the box they were assigned. When they showed up at the given address, they realized they were coincidentally walking distance from our house. They couldn't believe it, and were beyond excited to be serving people in our own neighborhood.

A few days later, while talking about the experience, Finn asked a peculiar question. "Can that be our box?" "What do you mean, Finn?" asked his confused Mom. "Can we keep filling it and make sure there's always good food in there?"

Oh dang! My little man wants to adopt that box and take ownership of it. Amazing. Yes, yes, yes, we can absolutely do that. It's fun to see the wheels turning. This is why it's so important for us parents to model various forms of generosity, big and small. More is caught than taught, and when we walk out giving with our own hands and feet, the kids feel it.

Here's where this all comes together. As I mentioned in a recent post, the boys have been working hard to earn some money ahead of an upcoming vacation (evidenced by their snow shoveling in -5-degree weather). One of the practices that's a standard in our home is for the boys to give away at least 25% of everything they make. As they were excitedly counting their money the other night, they asked if they could use their giving to buy more food for their box. Again, yes, little man, you can.

Parents, we are raising the literal future leaders of this world. Let's keep going. Keep modeling generosity for them. Even when it doesn't seem like they are listening, they are. Keep fighting the good fight. Let's endeavor to raise leaders who ooze generosity and selflessness. Let's raise leaders who think of others first, and themselves second. I know Sarah and I aren't there yet, but we'll keep fighting the good fight.

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Oh, I Have Landmines!

Yesterday's post landed hard with many, but one particular response triggered today's piece. "Travis, how did you manage to avoid all the landmines?" It never occurred to me that some people think I speak from a position of having lived a stellar and unblemished financial life. It reminds me that I need to share my early adulthood story again soon. There are so many new readers who don't yet know about my brutal failings. 

Today, I want to share the story of one of my landmines. Surprise, it involves a car! Heading into college, I drove a 13-year-old Honda Civic (with old-school flip-up headlights). I paid $2,000 for that car, and it was shockingly reliable. It wasn't pretty, but it was mine and got the job done (it had a pretty sweet stereo, too!). 

However, before my second year of college, my parents suggested I upgrade my car to more reliably manage my 4-hour drives between home and college. I don't remember disagreeing with this idea, as I think a modest breeze would have pushed me over the edge to purchase a cooler car. Thus, the car shopping began. 

Almost any car would have been better than my existing car. At that point, it was probably worth $500-$1,000 and had a ton of miles on it. My options were unlimited! Wanna know what I landed on? I purchased a 2-year-old Acura Integra. Black with black leather, stick shift, fully loaded. It was so awesome! Oh yeah, and it cost $19,000. I don't think thatnumber does my stupidity justice. Adjusting for inflation, that's the equivalent of an 19-year-old buying a $40,000 car today. Wow, just wow. I, of course, didn't have the money for this purchase…..I was a broke college kid with little cash. That's the moment the destructive debt cycle started to churn in my life. In making that purchase, I signed up for years of monthly payments that I needed to make via an on-campus job. I was going to work anyway, but in hindsight, there were lots of things I would rather have spent that money on. 

That single decision set the table for what would eventually be dozens of terrible decisions....more landmines. After all, stepping on one landmine makes us more susceptible to stepping on another. 

The question to answer today is how to reverse the landmine cycle. Here's what I did:

• First, realize you stepped on one. We can't fix what don't know is broken. It took me years to realize I screwed up…..but better late than never. 

• Second, commit to avoiding these types of future landmines at all costs. For me, that meant deciding I would NEVER use debt to buy a car again....ever.

• Third, we must pay the price to actually heal the damage. In my case, that meant paying off the car and subsequently saving up cash to eventually buy a different vehicle. Further, I needed to humble myself and eventually downgrade cars. The following car I bought was a $10,000 Honda Accord….with cash. 

That entire mess took 8 years to clean up, but it's a landmine I will never step on again. It's ok if you've screwed up, but it's time to clean up the mess and move on. Trust me, it's beautiful on the other side.

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Stepping On Landmines

I had a tremendously fun talk in Los Angeles last night. It was a great opportunity to reconnect with old friends and meet some new ones. I had some wonderful chats with people before and after the event, plus some great Q&A immediately following my talk. A common thread was woven into so many of these stories, which is a similar thread I experience in my day-to-day talking with people about money. Every story about financial pain, struggle, or failure starts with a singular moment where the person made a mistake or experienced a misfortune. I call it stepping on landmines.

Here's an example. A buddy shared the story about how he's in a really tough financial situation. He started with his present, then worked his way backward. The story culminates at the beginning, where he steps on his first landmine. He purchased a car he couldn't afford with a monthly payment nobody should afford. That was a landmine. That singular decision set up and set off a chain reaction that spiraled him to where he currently sits.

Story after story after story, each being triggered by the first landmine. The problem with landmines is that once we step on one, it becomes easier and more likely we'll step on another. After all, we don't make the best decisions under duress.

We obviously can't go back and unstep on our own landmines. I have many I wish I could undo. If we can't necessarily unwind our past landmines, what's the point? I have two points on this.

First, simply being aware of this phenomenon will allow us to be vigilant when the NEXT landmine approaches. We don't have to step on it. Instead, we can have the spatial awareness that we're nearing a landmine, but this time, sidestep it. Doing so frees us from the potential consequences, including the increased susceptibility of stepping on another. Just a few key decisions like this have the potential to radically shift our lives forever.

Second, we can help others around us avoid their own. In addition to the landmine stories, I shared some beautiful conversations with other people yesterday. These are people I care about deeply. With whatever insight and influence I had to offer, I was able to shine a light on a few upcoming landmines in their lives. It would be so wonderful if they were able to avoid them. If one thing I said helps one person take a different path, it was a monumental day. That's the opportunity each one of us has today. If we can help one person avoid one landmine, we've changed their world....possibly forever.

I hope you find that encouraging today, because I sure do! Have a great day!

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A Big Truck and a Strong Back

On the heels of one of my recent posts on generosity, I chatted with one of my closest friends. He's one of the most generous people I know, not because he's blessed with endless resources, but because he's attuned to the idea of giving what he has. In fact, he's known for a saying: "I have a big truck, a strong back, and time to give. How can I help you?" 

This is one of the simplest and purest forms of giving what you have, not what you don't. He's not counting his money, flexing his status, or comparing what he has versus someone else. He's offering his vehicle, his hands, and his time. And considering how busy this man is (husband, father, ministry leader, etc.), his offering of his body and his time is a sacrificial act. Lots of people can write a check, but this dude will literally show up in your driveway at 6AM on a Saturday morning and start working. 

I mentioned sacrificial giving, but I should also note it's joyful giving as well. His serving heart reeks of joy and encouragement, not pity, guilt, or obligation. He genuinely wants to give, and it shows. You don't have to be a behavioral expert to spot the difference. When people carry themselves with joy while giving of themselves, the room changes. You can feel it. It's palpable.

These are the two ingredients necessary for true generosity: sacrifice and joy. It's NEVER about how much you have to give, but your willingness to sacrificially and joyfully give from whatever you have. That's it. It's that simple. 

So while the rest of the world will be playing the I'll-give-when-I-get-to-x-dollars game, my guy will be out here giving whatever he has. I couldn't love it more, and I think that's the best encouragement any of us could receive today.

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The Microeconomics of Childhood

The response to my recent When the Legs Go Numb post has been overwhelming. I haven't responded to all my e-mails yet, but trust me, I see you! I appreciate that the post struck a nerve and added to many people's parenting journeys. A handful of people had an interesting observation, though. They loved my ideas about paying kids for performance on voluntary projects, but it doesn't work for their kids. Why? Because their kids don't seem to be interested in earning money.

Now, I'm pretty sure their kids are humans......highly likely! If so, their kids DO have wants, and if that's true, they ARE interested in money (or at least what money can provide). It's not a want problem; it's a microeconomics problem. It's simple supply and demand. We'll call it the microeconomics of childhood.

Let's say you're practicing the very principles I talk about. Don't pay your kids an allowance. Offer them projects to complete in exchange for performance-based compensation. They work, get rewarded, and use said reward to spend/save/give. Cause and effect. Input and output. All is good with the world.

Back to the issue. Many people's kids aren't motivated by money. They don't seem to care. They would rather not work than earn compensation through work. Here's the next question I ask them: Do you regularly buy things for your kids that they want? "Well, yeah, of course!" "Usually." "If we're having a good month, yeah."

This is the microeconomics issue. When we regularly purchase wants for our kids, the supply of money in their lives is high. They may not physically possess the money, but they have access to the money they need to get the things they want. Therefore, the demand for work is low.

I think it's important we parents flip that around. We need to lower the supply of money in our children's lives, thereby increasing the demand for money (i.e. the desire to work). Here's what it looks like in my house:

"Dad, I want a ______."

"That's awesome, bud! Do you have money to buy it?"

"No, I only have $5."

"That's too bad. But if you want to make some money, we have lots of projects you can do."

Pax worked so hard to buy this RC car!

This has happened countless times, occasionally accompanied by tears. If my kids want something badly, I don't want to demean or disrespect that want. Rather, I harness it to encourage the healthy behaviors that result in them earning the money to buy said want. The supply of money is low, creating a higher demand for work.

We're taking a family vacation soon, and my kids know it's their responsibility to have money for souvenirs. As such, They've been working their butts off. It's not because they are the most perfect kids. Had we told them we would buy them whatever they wanted on the trip, their desire to work would be zapped.

So, next time you get frustrated that your kids aren't responding to work the way you had hoped, inspect the microeconomics of childhood in your house. The answer probably lies somewhere in that department.

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Respect the Blessing

One of the perks of writing a daily blog is the fact I get to use my dumb mistakes to positively impact others. Today's edition of Travis-is-dumb is brought to you by the letter "B".......as in boots. On Black Friday, I finally purchased the pair of Helm boots I had been eyeing for years. I even wrote a blog post about them last September. The boots are amazing! They were everything I bargained for, and I'm excited to enjoy them for the next 5-10 years.

Well, until yesterday. For the last several weeks, I've been telling myself I need to clean and polish them. Partly so they look nicer, but primarily because I need to protect them from the elements. Even a few days ago, I thought to myself, "I really need to work on them tonight because of all the snow we're getting." Can you tell where this is going?

Last night, as I began putting on my beautiful boots, I noticed a massive water stain on the leather. One side was essentially ruined. My lack of care resulted in the leather being exposed to the elements, eventually paying the ultimate price. These boots were going to last me for the better part of a decade.....but lived for less than three months. If I want to replace them, which I do, it will cost me $300.

I regularly beat the drum on the importance of not idolizing our possessions. We shouldn't worship things, and stuff shouldn't dictate our decisions. It's far too common for people to love things and use people, when we should be loving people and using things. All of our stuff will soon be in a landfill, after all.

However, while we shouldn't obsess over our material possessions, we are called to be good stewards. We have a responsibility to respect what we've been blessed with. If we spend our resources on a possession that we will disrespect and demean, that's wasteful and irresponsible. In the case of my boots, I was wasteful and irresponsible.

I'll survive and will eventually laugh at this situation, but it's a humbling reminder of how we need to step up and manage well what we're blessed with. We have a beautiful opportunity in front of us, which also comes with an equally important responsibility.

I hope my dumb mistake can inspire you to avoid your own. Heck, I hope my $300 mistake can inspire me to avoid an upcoming $3,000 mistake. If we're not responsible with the little things, it's nearly impossible to be responsible with the big things.

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When the Legs Go Numb

We had our first big snowstorm of the season in the Midwest this week. So much so that it caused school to get canceled one day and delayed the next. The boys were excited, but for more reasons than one. In addition to skipping school, they were excited to shovel the driveway and sidewalks. Not only was it snowy, but it was cold; negative five degrees cold. Despite that, the boys spent nearly an hour outside before their delayed school day started, shoveling away. It was fun to see a couple second graders out there putting in the grind. At one point, Finn came in, claiming his legs were going numb. I encouraged him to come inside to warm up for a bit, and then continue his good work.

They were proud of themselves, and I was proud of them, too. They were also excited to make some money. They didn’t know how much it would be, but they knew it would probably be good. 

I don’t believe in allowances. From a behavioral science perspective, allowances teach kids they are entitled to something. That’s not how the world works, though. Earning money requires work. Hard work. Sometimes undesirable work. 

Here’s how it works in our house, and how I teach it to hundreds of parents. My kids have responsibilities in the house because they are members of the family. Put their laundry away, throw their clothes in the hamper, take their dishes to the sink, change the trash. Normal stuff. They don’t get paid for these tasks, but they are expected to step up and do so without complaining.  

Then, there are always opportunities to take on projects for pay. Mow the yard, shovel the snow, rake the leaves, clean the garage, etc. Each project is accompanied by compensation, but they don’t know how much until they are done. 

This next part is important. They NEVER get paid by the hour. They get paid for performance. If they crush a task, they get paid as such. If they mail it in, their pay reflects that as well. I don’t care how long it takes. I care about effort and excellence. 

They each made $20 for shoveling. I could have paid them less….far less. But I’m not paying for second graders to shovel. I’m paying to have the sidewalk shoveled, period. We shouldn’t train our kids to expect crappy pay because they are young. We should train our kids that excellence is rewarded and a lack thereof is not. 

It’s not perfect. They still gripe at times. Their laziness pokes its head out once in a while. But it’s a journey. I have another 10 years to train them up before the world will test them and push them. My job is to prepare them, not coddle them. I’m proud of those two little men. One day, one project, one failure, one win at a time. 

Keep fighting, parents! Whether you have 13 years or 13 months left before they leave the nest, there's still amazing work to be done....and you're the perfect person to show them the way.

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Here

Sarah and I recently stumbled upon a fascinating film. I was scrolling through Netflix while Sarah vetoed movie after movie. Nothing sounded good to her, and she wanted me to know that. Eventually, frustrated by her unwillingness to commit, I picked something and said, "This is the one! We're going to watch it, and we're going to enjoy it." It indeed was the one.

The movie is called Here. Released last year, it stars Tom Hanks and Robin Wright, and was directed by Robert Zemeckis (the creator of Back To The Future and Forrest Gump). It's one of the most unique films I've ever watched. For example, the entire movie is set at a single camera position, and the screen never fades out; one continuous shot for 1 hour and 45 minutes. See, fascinating!

Photo Credit: IMDB

It's been nearly two days since we watched it, and I can't get it out of my head. At its core, the movie is a reflection on so many of the ideas shared in this blog:

• The pursuit (or not) of meaningful work.

• How deeply our relationships are woven into the quality of our life.

• The cultural and financial pressures to abandon our dreams.

• The struggle and joy that comes with parenting.

• The impacts (both positively and negatively) our sacrifices make in our journey.

• The haunting power of regret.

• The fleeting nature of time.

• Our inescapable need for meaning and fulfillment.

• The relational and emotional impact of debt and financial tension.

• Our human desire to establish roots.

• The beauty of the simplest and most mundane parts of our lives.

• The humbling reality of our own mortality.

• The miracle of forgiveness and redemption.

• The bonding qualities of sharing a meal together.

• The importance of celebrating major milestones in life.

It was simultaneously the saddest and most joyful thing I've watched in a while. I can't help but reflect on my own journey as a man, a husband, and a father. Life is indeed fleeting, and I ought not waste it.

If you enjoy this blog, I highly recommend you check out this film on Netflix. I can't promise you'll like it, but I can promise it will make you think. I hope you have a wonderful day, filled with beauty in both the big things and the small things.

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It’s Who We Are

Amidst a ridiculously fun text exchange with a business owner friend yesterday, I had a feeling a blog idea was about to emerge. I didn't know what, but I could feel it. Then, it happened. She was talking about how businesses, if equipped with the right type of leaders, ooze generosity in all they do. Why? Because generosity isn't something we do, "it's who we are." Boom!

My friend is so right. Generosity isn't an idea. It's not a well-intended thought. It's not even an action, though it manifests through actions. When done right (sacrificially and joyfully), it's embedded into the core of our being. If that happens, there's no option but for said generosity to ooze out in every area of our lives....including in our businesses.

This post isn't an advocation for businesses to practice generosity, though that's amazing. Rather, it's an advocation for each one of us to allow generosity to seep into our cores and crowd out every selfish, greedy, and self-serving cell from our bodies. That's not entirely possible, of course, but it's directional. Each day, we can become more generous.....or less generous. There is no in-between, no standing still.

We can all gripe about how selfish people are today, making some definitive statement about how the world is continually worsening. Examples are all around us, and it takes very little effort to spot and call out greediness. In fact, if you're looking for it, you'll find 100+ examples today alone.

The same is true the other way around, though. Generosity is all around us. Generous acts, big and small. People overflowing with generosity. Businesses overflowing with generosity. Rich people overflowing with generosity. Poor people overflowing with generosity. Small businesses overflowing with generosity. Big corporations overflowing with generosity.

One common thread runs through all of it: People who have generosity woven into their soul, with no other option other than to let it seep out into every area of their lives. The question today is whether or not I'm one of those people. The question today is whether or not you're one of those people. Has it struck you to the core yet? If so, I'd suggest you let it seep into all you do today.....but you were going to do that anyway. If it hasn't struck you to the core yet, keep searching. Once you find it, you'll never see (or treat) the world the same way again.

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Would You Take Their Advice?

Receiving criticism has become a full-time endeavor for me. I used to hate it, but it's grown on me in the past several years. First, the act of being criticized means you're doing something. It's easy to avoid criticism by simply doing nothing. Second, I've learned that receiving criticism is a natural byproduct of giving opinions, and when you provide opinions publicly (blog, podcast, speaking, etc.), you are sure to receive criticisms publicly.

One of my clients recently started to receive quite a bit of criticism.....I mean a lot! First, it means he is doing something. He's trying to move the needle in an area he strongly believes in. Second, since he's doing said work in the public eye, he will inevitably face public criticism.

During a recent meeting, he asked, "How do you do it? Just take all the criticism that comes your way? Does it make you want to give up?"

That's when I shared with him a golden piece of advice I once received from a 16-year-old youth group kid several years ago. It was a typical night at youth group, and each of us was sharing one highlight and one lowlight from the week ("Wows and Pows"). One of mine was that something I said on Twitter triggered hundreds of angry and hateful comments. I felt down. I felt defeated.

That's when my young friend jumped in. "Would you take their advice?"

"Who?"

"The people who are saying hateful things to you. Would you take advice from them?"

"No, of course not!"

"Well, if you wouldn't take their advice, you can't take their criticism."

Boom! Just like that, this young woman disarmed all my insecurity. She was right. If I wouldn't take advice from the people levying all that criticism on me, why should I care about their negative comments? That paradigm shift has changed everything for me!

If someone criticizes my personal financial decisions or advice, I ask myself if I'd take financial advice from them. Do I want my finances to look more or less like theirs?

If someone criticizes my business decisions, I ask myself if I'd take business advice from them. Do I want my business to look more or less like theirs? Heck, do they even have a business?

If someone criticizes my parenting, I ask myself if I'd take parenting advice from them. Do I want my kids to be more or less like theirs? Often, it's people that don't even have kids!

Some of you need to hear this today. Others may not need it today, but be sure to stick this one in your back pocket; the criticism is coming! Anything worth doing will result in criticism. Buckle up and enjoy the ride!

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Snowballing Behaviors

As I recently discussed HERE and HERE, I've been a big fan of my new walking pad. Practically overnight, I quadrupled the number of steps I get each day (up to nearly 13,000 per day over the past five weeks). In the paradigm of what gets measured gets done, this endeavor has been a massive success.

There's another phenomenon at play here, too. Behaviors often snowball. When we change one behavior, others typically follow. Here's what that looks like in my little walking pad world:

• After enjoying Sarah's walking pad so much, I purchased a second one for my home office (along with a desk to go with it).

• One of my buddies asked if I use a biometric scale to track my body composition. I didn't, but I immediately purchased the scale he recommended. I now collect daily data.

• Since I know I'm collecting daily data, I feel more accountable for the decisions I make throughout my day (including my diet).

• Since I'm trying to make better decisions, I dusted off my home gym and have now gotten back into regular lifting.

All because Sarah purchased a silly little walking pad, and I decided to hop on for a few minutes. Behaviors snowball, and I'm really glad I started gaining momentum on these particular behaviors.

Money is much the same way. My goal isn't to get my clients to adopt dozens of well-planned behaviors. Instead, my focus is to help them create a healthy rhythm with just one or two, then trust the snowballing will happen. Budgeting is a perfect example. Once someone starts budgeting:

• They realize they spend money on things they really don't care about. Thus, spending behaviors change.

• Once they realize they aren't a victim of their finances and can regain control of what happens with their money, they get emboldened to pay off debt. Thus, they 10x their aggression toward getting debt-free.

• Paying off debt shows them they can do anything they put their mind to, including saving. Thus, saving momentum improves.

• Once they realize they can dial up their saving momentum, they start believing they can attain things they value. Thus, they prioritize and give themselves permission to spend on things that add value to their life.

• As they gain more insight into their money behaviors, they notice they aren't giving nearly as much as they would like. Thus, it creates an intentional bend toward generosity.

• As they gain better control and momentum in their finances, they realize they aren't beholden to their jobs. Thus, they give themselves permission to pursue work that matters (if they aren't already in it).

• Once they've fully come to terms with the fact that there is a better way to handle and perceive money than society taught them, they aspire to help their kids do it differently and avoid the painful mistakes they've made. Thus, the next generation is transformed.

All because they decided to work a few small financial habits into their lives. This stuff is powerful. Let your (good) behaviors snowball. It might just change everything.

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Lessons From the Barkley Saga

"Wouldn't it be fun if our baristas could make six figures?"

This was one of the many insane ideas we discussed in the early days of planning Northern Vessel's launch. This counter-cultural idea was founded on a core belief TJ and I shared: Just treat people well. What that meant to us was to continually find ways to align interests, reward performance, incentivize winning behaviors, and create a culture of gratitude. Over the past few years, these driving principles have led to some pretty wild ideas and structures. I've faced much criticism from friends and mentors whenever these ideas arise.

"Why would you give up that much upside?"

"You're hurting yourself."

"That isn't market."

"There's no need to do that."

I never take offense to these comments; I get it! What we do can largely be considered stupid and/or irresponsible. But ultimately, I believe that if you treat people like owners, they will behave like owners—culture matters. When our people win, we win. And when our people win big, we win big. It doesn't have to be a fixed pie. We don't have to live our lives (and our businesses) with a scarcity mindset.

Speaking of, I've been thinking about the whooping the Chiefs received at the hands of the Eagles last night. Wow! Never in a million years did I see that coming. After the game, I was reminded of a seemingly innocent scene from HBO's Hard Knocks last summer. It's a brief phone conversation between Giants GM Joe Schoen and star Giants running back Sequon Barkley.

I'll set the scene. Mr. Schoen doesn't want to proactively offer Barkley a large contract at the risk of overpaying him, so he calls Barkley to let him know that he should "test the market." Translation: We're willing to pay you decent money, but not a penny more than we need to.

Mr. Schoen goes on, "If you really wanna be a Giant for life, and you're interested in staying here and coming back, just see what your market is and then have (your agent) come back to us, and we'll see if we can come to an agreement." Translation: If you're as loyal to us as you say you are, you'll sacrifice some money for the privilege of being here, and accept whatever we eventually offer you.

When I saw that clip, I knew there was zero chance he was going to return to the Giants. They violated the Just Treat People Well principle, and there was no turning back. Trust was broken. Interests were unaligned. He tested the market, as instructed, and eventually signed with the Eagles, where he thought he could help them reach the Super Bowl. Fast forward just a handful of months, and Barkley and the Eagles just became Super Bowl champions.

Most of us probably won't ever be an NFL GM (outside of the latest Madden installment), but this situation proves a valuable lesson. Just treat people well. Others don't have to lose for us to win. Align interests. Live with a culture of gratitude. People matter. Strike that.....people matter more than anything.

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