It’s Just Money: SAHM Edition

I took some heat for yesterday's post about the phrase "It's just money." A few fun responses include, "You're again advocating for irresponsibility," and "It must be nice to not care about money."

In a surprising twist, I received about a half-dozen messages from one particular group of people: Stay-at-home moms and husbands of stay-at-home moms. I didn't necessarily connect these dots when I wrote yesterday's post, but these folks sure did. I'll summarize their takeaway: It's nearly impossible for a family to decide to become a one-income household without implementing the "It's just money" mindset.

Think about that. In more than 90% of situations (by my estimation), a family will end up worse off financially by electing to have one spouse stay at home instead of paying for childcare and having the second spouse work a paid job. In other words, the only way to make the decision for one spouse to stay at home is to acknowledge that other factors are more important to them than having more resources.

Each respondent shared their personal versions of this story. Every version was different, but all included one key theme: Sacrifice. In order to connect the financial dots, every single-income family must decide what gets sacrificed. For some, it's vacations. For others, it's dining out and lifestyle. Some people give up the possible opportunity to retire earlier. Others live in more conservative houses or drive older vehicles.

Regardless of each family's version of sacrifice, the math equation is the same. If a family chooses to have one spouse stay at home with the kids, they will inevitably have less material wealth than had they made the opposite decision. It's just money. I love it!

I can relate to all of these families, as Sarah and I made a similar decision to be a one-income household when we became parents. It hasn't always been easy, financially speaking, but we would have made the same decision 100 times out of 100. It's the biggest no-brainer for us in the world. As a finance guy, I understand the opportunity costs of such decisions, and if I let the materialistic side of me win, we would be much better off financially. However, it's just money. Sacrifices must be made. Values must win out. Meaning must prevail.

Whatever you're up to in this season of life, I hope you're able to feel confident and convicted about meaning prevailing over money. This isn't about me forcing my values on you, but rather, it's about encouraging you to let YOUR values supersede your materialistic instincts so you can live your most meaningful life. Your future self will thank you so much for that gift!

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It’s Just Money

Some of my business partners and I were engaging in an intense conversation. We have some huge decisions ahead of us, and there's a lot on the line. There are so many considerations: risk, upside, impact, mission, and potential pitfalls. In the midst of this debate, I made a controversial suggestion that involved me shifting a large portion of the risk from the company to my personal financial shoulders.

One of my partners expressed concern for my personal finances and the potential negative implications of implementing such an idea.

"It's just money," I responded.

No, I don't want to be irresponsible with what I've been blessed with; that's poor stewardship. However, at the same time, my top priority in life is NOT to accumulate more money, stuff, and status. Ultimately, my mission is to further the mission. And in the case of this particular debate, if it requires me to risk my own personal finances to ensure the long-term success of the mission, then so be it.

This type of attitude is the product of two things:

• The realization that money will not and cannot make us happy. Money can do a lot of things, but our happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment cannot be driven or defined by how much money we accrue in our bank accounts.

• There's nothing more powerful than a mission that matters. When we believe in something and the impact it can have on people, that's the pinnacle of living.

It's just money.

That phrase can save us from a lot of heartbreak. It's so easy to let financial mistakes and failures beat us down. We think about it and say to ourselves, "I wish I wouldn't have done that!" Ultimately, though, what did it really cost you? Yeah, a few hundred dollars is a few hundred dollars. Yeah, a few thousand dollars is a few thousand dollars. It's not nothing. It might have some heft to it. However, life is about so much more than money.

Please don't let money be the driving force behind your perspective. Don't let money make you sad.....and don't let money make you happy. Don't let money define you as a failure......and don't let money define you as a winner. Don't let money guide you into decisions you otherwise wouldn't feel proud making. Don't let money distract you from your mission.

Yes, let's be good stewards. Yes, let's try to make wise choices. And YES, always stay true to the mission. It's just money.

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Lessons From a Linebacker

Our family attended a local high school football game last night. It was the two public schools in our town, facing off against one another in the annual rivalry game. Both schools are some of the largest in the state. There were an estimated 10,000-12,000 in attendance at the stadium. Yeah, not the high school football I grew up with. 

One of the highlights was watching Finn and Pax's flag football coach, who is a player on one of the teams. He's a good kid. The boys loved playing for him, and I thought he seemed like a great young man. 

Here's what I know about his particulars:

"Hi, I'm Travis. I'm Finn and Pax's dad."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Dawson."

"What year are you?"

"I'll be a junior."

"What position do you play?"

"I play linebacker."

Short, sweet, clear. 

We were excited to see if he would be at the game. We checked the program: "Dawson, Junior, LB, #6." We found our guy on the sideline! We knew he was in the house, but would he play?

As the defense stepped onto the field for the first time, he trotted out. He's starting! We were excited to see him. Would he get much action? Then, it began…..

Tackle.

Another tackle.

Crushed the quarterback.

The crowd is wildly yelling his name.

Another tackle.

He was one of the most hyped guys on the sidelines, wildly cheering on his teammates and amping up the crowd. 

They put him in at running back.

He scores a long touchdown.

More tackles.

He seemed to live in the heart of the action on nearly every snap.

Crushed another guy.

Sack.

Another sack on the next play.

He's a madman!

I turn to Google. The moment I typed in his name, a series of articles popped up about how he was named all-state as a sophomore (a sophomore!) and is a returning leader on one of the best teams in the state. I had no idea!!!!

All this from a kid who just casually told me he's going to be a junior and plays linebacker. He could have told me all about his accolades and status. He could have let me know who he is. He could have made sure I knew he was the man. Instead, he was just him. He was a player on the football team, and he was coaching my kid. I respect him so much for this. He was a wonderful coach, and my kids still talk about him all the time. Did I mention I respect the heck out of this kid?

I think we can all take a page out of Dawson's playbook. Let our actions speak for us. Be humble with our mouths and impactful with our actions. Less talking, more walking. Proud of you, Dawson. You got a supporter in me, and a couple little boys over here that you've impacted more than you know. Grateful for the way you carry yourself; people are watching.

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Never Offend For Sport

After a quiet morning on the e-mail front, I received a deluge of feedback in the afternoon regarding yesterday's post. I knew it was coming, but it was more aggressive than anticipated. I certainly knew I would receive backlash, which is part of the reason I haven't published about that topic much until now. However, after a few engaging conversations with friends, I felt the nudge to suck it up and engage in the topic.

Two ideas come to mind when I think about receiving backlash:

1. A wise mentor once told me, "Travis, you're always going to offend someone, so just make sure it's the right someones." Dang!!!! It's true, though. We will inevitably offend people along the journey, one way or another. It's a when, not if. If that's true, we might as well offend people by being truthful to ourselves.

2. I never offend for sport. It breaks my heart when I offend people. I never set out to offend or hurt people. I try to make sure that when I speak, my intentions are pure. If I'm going to say something that could possibly be received as offensive, I'm going to do it with a mission in mind. In situations like yesterday's post, the mission is to challenge people to think about a certain topic through a particular lens.

In a time when offending people seems to be a game, sport, and hobby, I recommend we try a different strategy. No, we'll never completely avoid being offensive to some people at some times. There's no way to avoid it. However, we can take a different approach. Aim for sincerity and let the chips fall where they may.

I hope you regularly feel challenged by my posts. I hope I give you something to think about. I hope it even inspires you from time to time. I never intend to offend. However, if I do offend you, please know that's never my mission. I never want to offend for sport.

Have an awesome day!

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Where Should It Go?

In yesterday's post, I posed a question. I challenged each reader to consider, with a completely clean slate, where their assets should go when they die. If you could draft a plan with no preconceived notions, where would the assets go? Oh yeah, I also gave three caveats:

1. We're talking about who gets it AFTER your spouse. Pretend your spouse is also gone.

2. Your kids are grown, and they no longer depend on your financial care.

3. You have something of substance left when you pass.

I've asked hundreds of people this question, and more than 9 out of 10 will say something along the lines of "equally split between my kids." Why? Because.

Well, where should it go? First, I need to clarify one thing. Your assets should go wherever you choose for them to go. The decision is 100% yours. Not mine. Not your family members'. Not your lawyer's. Yours and yours alone.

With that said, I want to share some thoughts to get you thinking today.

I've always loved the phrase, "fair is not equal and equal is not fair." We aren't obligated to give the same amount to each of our beneficiaries. There might be various reasons why one would give more to one child than the next. Don't allow pressure, guilt, or obligation guide you.

On a related note, I think we need to revisit the notion that all money is a blessing, and if all money is a blessing, more money is an even bigger blessing. The truth is, money has the ability to cripple us, enable us, self-destruct us, and zap any and all forms of meaning right from our souls. I watch it play out on a weekly basis. There's nothing that can crush the ambition of some people like the arrival of money.

If you're planning to give money to someone, consider giving it while you're still alive. There might be a season of your beneficiary's life that's better suited or more needed for such a gift. Besides, how beautiful would it be to see it with your own eyes!?!?

I have a tough question for my fellow Christian friends. If everything we have belongs to God (a core principle of our faith), why would we give all our assets to our family when we die? If everything we have is His, but yet our last act on this planet is to ensure our family retains His assets, does that seem aligned with the God's ownership principle?

I'll share my family's plan. When Sarah and I pass away, nearly everything will be given to our charitable trust to be given away. Our two little men, who will hopefully be strong, faithful men by then, will be entrusted to manage the giving of the money during their lifetimes. Further, I pray the example we set for our kids will inspire them to follow suit when they pass away, entrusting their children with a similar responsibility.

Again, you need to 100% make your own decision on this matter. But I hope I gave you something to think about today.

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Where Does It Go?

Let's dabble in the theme of death again, shall we? An interesting question was recently brought up in a group conversation. "Where do you want your money to go when you die?"

Everyone around the table quickly and instinctively answered:

• "Evenly between my kids."

• "Split between my kids."

• "To my kids. Evenly, of course."

• "50% to one kid and 50% to the other."

All four people had the exact same answer, without thought or hesitation. "Why?" I asked the group.

• "Isn't that what everyone does?"

• "Because that's what I'm supposed to do, right?"

• "I never thought about that question."

• "Are there other options?"

Nobody had a good reason. By default, we instinctively believe that splitting our assets evenly between our children is the best and correct path for each of us. But why?!?!? Nobody really seems to know.

I have lots of thoughts on this topic.......which I will share in due time. Today, though, I want you to ask yourself the same two questions:

• "Where do I want my money to go when I die?"

• "Why?"

Caveats to this question:

• Unless we're a mixed family, it's almost a given that our first beneficiary is our spouse. My question applies to the next level, after your spouse. Assume you're both gone.

• Assume your children are grown. This isn't an I-die-while-my-kids-are-young type question. Kids are grown and independent adults (i.e., they no longer depend on your financial care).

• You have something to give. Don't assume you'll have nothing. Let's pretend there's something of substance left when you pass.

Please take five minutes to think about this topic today. Really think about it. Throw all preconceived notions out the window and start from scratch. You have a blank canvas and can paint any picture you want. What does it look like? Please feel free to share your answers with me…..or keep it to yourself for now. If you want to share, you can hit “reply” to this e-mail or drop a comment at the bottom of the webpage. Then, tomorrow, I'll send part two your way (including my own perspective).

Have an amazing day, full of meaning and impact! Also, don't die. Not yet. There's still so much good work to be done.

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Easier to Just Stay At Home

In just a few hours, I'll be the keynote speaker at an event I've wanted to speak at for several years. Hundreds of the most influential Christian business leaders in our state will be in attendance. I'm really, really, really excited.......

.......and I'm really, really, really nervous. It would be easier to just stay at home. I've been planning this talk in my head for months and preparing for it for weeks. I'm going to share some challenging ideas and encourage some radical shifts when it comes to the pursuit of excellence.

Can I just be frank and tell you I'm terrified? Yeah, it would definitely be easier just to stay at home. If I were to stay home today, there's zero chance I could fall flat on my face and face a giant embarrassment. On the flip side, staying home also ensures I don't make a difference. Staying home would be me turning in my permission slip to help people. Staying home would all but guarantee I don't fulfill my purpose today.

It sure would be easier to stay at home, though!

Whatever you're called to do today, this week, or this month, don't just stay at home. Put yourself out there. Face your fears. Risk failure. Take a swing and see how the chips fall. You might just impact some lives along the way!

As for me, I hope to rejoin you tomorrow morning with less stress, more composure, and a lack of stories about failure and embarrassment. Have a great day, all!

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Permission Granted

My inbox and phone have been flooded with messages over the past few days. People are struggling with all sorts of emotions right now. One particular message hit especially hard.

"Travis, for the last few years I thought your meaning over money message was stupid. It felt like a cheap way out of taking personal responsibility and doing the right thing for your family. I felt like you were being a wimp and taking a loser route. But last week something changed in me. I started looking at my life and realized I only do what I do for the money. Other than that I feel like my life is meaningless. I'm not doing any good for the world. I'm just living for me and that needs to change, but I don't feel like I have permission to take a different path this late in the game."

Welcome to the club, my man! We're so good to have you. Permission granted! I get why so many people roll their eyes at these ideas and principles. I understand why I get so much criticism. I don't take it personal......anymore.

It's never too late to choose meaning over money. It's never too late to turn the tables over and start afresh. It's never too late to reject society's notion of normal to pursue the path less traveled. It's never too late to take stock of what matters most, then refocus your life toward that.

God will use all things for good; even the bad stuff. Scratch that, especially the bad stuff. Nothing is wasted in God's economy. I deeply hope this man takes this nudge and runs with it. I hope this is the beginning of a beautiful story that will unfold in front of his family, friends, and everyone he has the privilege of interacting with. He doesn't need my permission to act, but perhaps my encouragement will give him the confidence he needs to get started.

You don't need permission, either. However, if you're looking for it, I'll give it to you in the form of encouragement. Life is too short and too important to allow money to drive our decisions. Perhaps it's time to let meaning take the wheel.

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Noisy But Quiet

I returned home on Friday night from the Nebraska cattle ranch I've been working with. My first order of business yesterday was to spend some time at Northern Vessel. The weather was perfect and the sun was shining.

However, I noticed something the moment I walked into the shop. Despite the place being absolutely packed (which is normal), the energy was off. Hundreds of people flowed in and out of the shop, but at the same time, it felt empty. As one of our baristas put it, "noisy but quiet."

People were still spending time with loved ones. People were still enjoying their free day. People were still consuming tasty beverages. But something was off. You could cut the tension with a knife. Perhaps it was just me? I chatted with a dozen different people, each saying the same thing. Everywhere they've been has felt similar: noisy but quiet.

Maybe that phrase not only applies to rooms, but to people as well. Noisy but quiet. That's how I'm feeling. I have lots going on right now. I am serving countless people. I'm leading businesses. I'm trying to make solid decisions. I'm preparing for speeches. I'm creating content. It's noisy. However, it's quiet. Inside me, it feels quiet. The energy is off. I can cut the tension inside my soul with a knife.

We ALL go through times like these. Different events, seasons, and situations can trigger it for each of us. We might feel perfectly well one moment, and just like that, life feels different the next.

I don't claim to be an expert on this topic, but I'll share the little wisdom I possess today. During times like these, we need to keep moving forward -- step by step, one foot in front of the other. The only other option is to cower and whither away, and nobody wins when we select that option. Therefore, I'll just take one step today. I hope you do the same.

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If My Life Ended Today….

I separately shared conversations with two of my best friends yesterday. Both of them expressed a sense of being shaken up by recent events, particularly driven by the fact that they are both the exact same age as Charlie Kirk. It was the first time either of these men had thought about their mortality in such a raw way. One of these guys said he's been pondering the following question: "If my life ended today, what would I have to show for it?"

That's an intense question! How would you answer? I've written multiple times on this blog about how I've always felt I’d experience a premature death. I don't know why I think that, but it's something I've pondered for decades (so far, so good!). As such, I've been thinking about this question for quite some time.

Here's one thing I know. I haven't waited until "later" or "someday" to do the things I'm called to. Faith will always prevail. Even at our own detriment, Sarah and I have made tough choices to follow a challenging path. A path that's led to much fruit. Lots of struggle, but so many blessings. We've wilfully and knowingly made things difficult for ourselves. However, we did so at the hands of our calling. While I can't be certain, I hope others (including my two children) would internalize that principle and use it to alter their own life choices. I pray that's something beautiful I can leave behind.

Here's one thing I won't leave behind: regret. I am deeply committed to leaving no regrets on the table. I'm not scared of many things in life (except for maybe snakes), but I'm deeply terrified of regret. Regardless of when my life ends, I pray I close my time on earth with no regrets.

Tomorrow is not promised. Every tomorrow is a blessing. Every tomorrow is an opportunity to live our calling, now. Every tomorrow is a challenge to eradicate future regret. I hope to see you again tomorrow, but if I don't, I can promise you I left it all on the field.

I don’t mean to sound morbid with this post, but I pray this spurs a conversation within yourself today.

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Not Throwing It Away…..Today

I'm still reeling. These last few days have been absolutely brutal. Yesterday's blog post was the shortest post I've ever written. I simply had no words. The tank was empty; I was completely drained. Again today, I don't feel great. I have a lot of emotions spinning in me. Like so many others, my instinct is to react. My gut says to explode. Every ounce of me wants to let people have it.

However, at the same time, I keep thinking about this idea I podcasted about more than three years ago. It's an idea I think about often, but today, more than ever, this idea remains foundational in my life. We each have a choice:

1. We can explode with anger, vengeance, and frustration. We can tell people off, make ridiculous social media posts, or leave nasty comments on other people's posts. We can unleash our opinions on the world, leaving a wake of wreckage in our path, essentially throwing away any influence we ever had with people in our circle.

2. We can navigate life with a posture of restraint, retaining influence in people's lives. While we might hate their opinions and behaviors, and we won't get the instant (but fleeting) satisfaction of telling them how dumb they are acting, we can keep the right to be a positive influence in their lives.

I'm teetering between #1 and #2. Every ounce of me wants to lash out. However, doing so will require me to throw away any and all influence on many people's lives. Looking at it the other way around, there are countless people in my life that I will likely never trust again after this week. Any influence or equity they had in my life has been torched. It's sad, but true. Perhaps they don't care, but it's still sad.

In order to keep a proper perspective, I went back and listened to that episode (Episode 131 of the Meaning Over Money Podcast, dated 6/27/22). It's weird listening to your own voice to gain insights, but I gotta do what I gotta do. I fully encourage you to listen as well. That episode feels more timely than ever. You can find it on APPLE, SPOTIFY, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Today, I'm going to choose restraint. I hope I choose restraint again tomorrow. Every day is a new battle. Keep fighting the fight, retaining influence on other people's lives. Your influence matters.

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Few Words

I have few words today, friends. After the recent public and cold-blooded murders of Iryna Zarutska and Charlie Kirk, plus another senseless school shooting, I lack everything I need to write today's post. My encouragement is zapped. My wisdom is futile. I have nothing remotely funny or clever to say. The tank simply feels empty.

This appears to be a fork in the road for all of us. Do we continue down the road of anger, violence, and vengeance? Or do we find common ground and show each other dignity? After scrolling social media last night, I'm afraid to answer that question. Further, as I search my own soul and have a glimpse of what's inside me, I'm also scared to personally answer my own question.

Whatever today brings, try to go to bed tonight on the positive side of the ledger. Leave the world better than you found it today.

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My 8, Her 1

I was having a perfectly normal yet good day yesterday. I was stressed by some time-sensitive endeavors, but it was a good day. Probably an 8 out of 10. The weather was nice, the sun was shining, and I was eager to serve those whom I had the privilege of serving. Then, it happened. I was in the pharmacy to pick up some treats for my kids when I crossed paths with a young lady (probably 17-18 years old). To say she was rude and disrespectful would be a gross understatement. She was borderline inappropriate with how she behaved.

My gut reaction was to be snippy with her, possibly fire back with a little smart comeback. However, I restrained myself and tried to simply be polite with her. Inside, though, I was seething. Would my dark thoughts prevail, or would I handle myself in a way I'd be proud? My good side ultimately prevailed, and I handled myself with respect and dignity. I was courteous with her despite her harsh attitude.

Fast forward five minutes, and I walked toward the checkout. Who's in front of me? The rude young lady. She was there to purchase just one item: a pregnancy test. Oh boy. I think it's safe for me to assume she was having an epically stressful day. She might have been in the midst of a 1 out of 10 day.

We have a principle at Northern Vessel that's foundational to how we conduct ourselves. Our guests NEVER have to earn our hospitality. Every person that walks through our doors deserves dignity and respect.....period. Even if they are having a 1 out of 10 day, our mission is to serve them at the highest level. Taking this approach in business and life requires us to put our guard down and be willing to make the first move. It requires us to approach situations with humility and vulnerability, even when it might blow up in our face.

When we're having an 8, 9, or 10-type day, there are countless people around us who are having a 1, 2, or 3-type day. Do we deserve to be treated like dirt? Of course not! However, what an opportunity we each have to be a steadying presence in people's lives when they are at their worst. Even when we want to lash out or match their negativity, we have an opportunity to lift their day, even for just a moment. It's not much, but to someone having a 1 out of 10 day, it could mean everything.

I'm really glad I handled myself well in front of that young lady. I hope she's alright. I've been thinking about her a lot, and I pray she's surrounded by loving, caring, and honest people.

Whatever type of day you have today, I hope you muster the strength to show class and dignity to everyone......especially those who don't seem to deserve it. They may need it more than anyone.

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Leaving a Gift For Future You

I had a ridiculously fun experience yesterday. Nearly four years after one of my clients stepped away from our coaching relationship, they reached out and asked if we could set up a one-time coaching meeting. They are contemplating a huge life decision and wanted a second opinion. I get it, as this is a heavy consideration in front of them, ripe with all sorts of consequences (financial and otherwise).

I understood the general concept and heart behind the question, but I didn't yet know the broader context. Then, as happens before all my coaching meetings, they sent me updated financial information. I opened the Excel file and smiled; I immediately knew something they didn't. In the nearly four years since we last met, they had done precisely as I recommended. They followed my advice nearly verbatim. That was the moment I knew it would be a fun and productive meeting!

My job was easy at that point. Instead of trying to measure all the pros and cons of this seemingly heavy decision, I was able to visually illustrate why not only could they do it, but they should do it. They diligently, intentionally, and consistently structured their finances and invested in such a way that they now have a myriad of options on how to handle the next season of life. That flexibility, in turn, will now unlock one of their dreams. They left a beautiful gift for their future selves, and today, their future selves are able to receive said gift.

This is the mind-bending part about our financial lives. Every decision we make impacts two people: Current us and future us. When current me makes a wise decision, it's a gift for future me. When current me makes a bone-headed decision, it's a curse for future me. Whether we want to admit it or not, future me will always become current me at some point in time. Even 80-year-old future Travis will become current Travis in 2061. A time will come when the future old man me will become current me.....I'll be that guy!

I think about this a lot when I reflect on the wild life choices Sarah and I have made over the past six years. With the benefit of hindsight, there was a wonderful season where then-current Travis and Sarah left a truly blessing-filled gift for future Travis and Sarah. That future Travis and Sarah is us today. We're reaping the blessing of decisions that previous versions of us made.

What gifts or curses are you leaving to your future self? That's an amazing question to ask today. What do you want your future self to have? What does future you need from current you today? Whatever the answer is to that question, today is a good day to give that gift.

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Ugly Scoreboards

Yesterday was Finn and Pax's first flag football game of the season. Pax's excitement was sky-high, and he was hoping to perform at the highest level. On the very first play of the game, he threw an interception that was returned for a touchdown. In a matter of five seconds, they were losing 0-7. Ouch!

I was expecting the worst. Would he start crying? Would he get angry? Would he pout and feel sorry for himself? To my surprise, he seemed fine. His offense went three-and-out on its next possession, and their opponent scored an 80-yard touchdown on the first play of their next drive. Two minutes in, and they were down 0-14.

Later on, he missed a tackle that resulted in a long touchdown. Ok, now he was really going to be down. Except he wasn't. He was on the sideline, hyping up his teammates, bringing encouragement, and celebrating every little win. Who is this guy?!?! They went into halftime down 0-21, and he seemed oddly jolly.

As the second half unfolded, his team dominated. Pax moved to defense, where he made himself present on nearly every snap. On the other side of the ball, we scored four touchdowns in a row. Each time we scored, Pax sprinted onto the field and wildly celebrated his teammates. It was a remarkable sight, and I was so proud of him. We won 28-21, and I was extremely proud of both boys' efforts.

The most profound part of that experience for me was watching Pax stay positive, encouraging, and confident despite all the adversity that he endured. He was a stellar teammate and the ultimate hype man. He could have let any one of those events keep him down, yet he persevered.

After our post-game ice cream, I told him that was a perfect analogy for life. We will absolutely get knocked down over and over and over. That's never in question. What's in question, though, is what we'll do about it. Will we give up? Will we cower? Will we be a victim? Will we make excuses? Will we complain? Will we blame others? Or. Or. Or will we get up and keep moving forward?

So many people I'm working with are throwing pick-sixes. They just got scored on. They just gave up a long touchdown. They just missed a play. They are at halftime, down 0-21. They are getting their butts kicked by life. But what happens from here on out is still to be written.

Wherever you're at today, whether down 0-21 or on the winning side of the ledger, the future is still in your hands. Please don't let the past mistakes, unfortunate situations, or embarrassing failures keep you down. Today is a great day to get up, dust yourself off, and put some points on the scoreboard of life.

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Make It Hurt a Little

Yesterday was a great day for Cyclone fans all over the world, as the football team won its second consecutive Cy-Hawk game against our rival, the Hawkeyes. I'd like to say I enjoyed watching the game, but to be honest, it was a stressful and miserable endeavor from start to finish. That game is always tough to watch, but I was excited about the outcome.

The catch: I watched it from home. I had been eagerly anticipating being there in person with our season tickets, but by Friday, I knew we needed to simplify our weekend and watch it from home. I have a huge talk coming up, and I really needed more rest and more prep time.

When one of my friends found out I was staying home, he had a question: "How much did you get for those tickets?!?! That's the most valuable game of the year!"

"I gave them away."

His face immediately formed a look of disgust. "Why would you just give them away?!?! You could have gotten at least $600 for them!!!"

"Because I wanted to," I replied. The truth is, there was no amount of money I could have received for those tickets that would have provided me with as much joy as giving them to another family. That family was able to make memories, share an experience together, and be part of something truly awesome. It was priceless!

Giving is more valuable than money, every single time. Sure, we could make it a math equation. If I give away $1,000, I have $1,000 less to spend on xyz. That math is correct. That math is real. However, the simple math fails to encapsulate the greater beauty of giving. Whenever we give, it changes something inside of us. It shifts our perspective from "me" to "them." It forces us to look outside ourselves. It requires we think about ourselves less, and other people more.

Would an extra $400-$600 come in handy? Absolutely, it would! It was very tempting, too! The selfish and self-serving side of me really wanted to hit the cha-ching button on those tickets. However, we needed to remain pure in our intent with our season tickets: Make memories with our kids and bless other people. Mission accomplished.

Giving is more valuable than money. If you agree, fist bump to you! If you don't, would you please consider putting me and this idea to the test? Consider blessing someone in a big way this week. Make sure it requires tangible sacrifice on your part. Make it hurt a little. Then, see what happens. It's beautiful!

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Happy Curation

On the heels of a recent post about a client of mine that has done a beautiful job of curating their life, I received a handful of e-mails from blog readers asking for real-life examples of what it looks like to curate one's life. I absolutely love this, and it got me thinking about how Sarah and I have managed to curate our own family's life over the past six years.

With that context in mind, the following are a handful of examples of how we've intentionally curated our lives in recent years:

• We live two minutes from Finn and Pax's school (one way) and two minutes from my office (the other way). Our logistical life is situated within a half-mile radius on the same street. It's simpler than simple.

• We rent our house, which gives us complete predictability on our cost of living. It's one of the biggest life hacks on the planet.

• We allocate a healthy amount of money each month for travel, allowing us to travel a lot.

• Sarah stays at home (while part-time nannying and part-time volunteering), meaning we have a lot of logistical flexibility while relieving me from many of life's inconveniences. This allows me to focus on what I need to focus on.

• I never take a meeting before 9AM, which enables me to spend my early mornings with the boys and take them to school each day.

• Since we keep our living expenses low, we're able to focus heavily on generosity. This changed our lives.

• Once I left my prior career and started my self-employment journey, I gave myself the freedom to engage with any new work that I felt called to try. This has led me to work on several different endeavors at any given time.

• I purchased an affordable convertible ($9,000) that I use as a fun commuter car for half the year. It adds an immense amount of richness to my day-to-day life.

• We live within walking distance of several restaurants, coffee shops, parks, and shops.

Each of these things combines for a curated life that's exactly how my family wants to live. I'm NOT advocating for you to live a similar life. Rather, my encouragement is for you to methodically and intentionally curate your own life to align with your values. There's no reason to be a victim of circumstance when you can be the author of the journey. Happy curation!

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From the Ashes

One of my friends experienced something beyond horrifying. They've been through it all, and somehow stand upright on the other side of it. I can't even imagine the amount of pain they've endured.

During a recent conversation, I shared that I'm hopeful and confident that beauty will eventually rise from the ashes of this chaos. Over the subsequent 45 minutes, they shared beauty, after beauty, after beauty.

Watching their friends, family, and neighbors rally around them with unconditional love, support, and generosity. They've never felt more loved than they do now.

Speaking of generosity, the love they've experienced from those around them has unlocked an entirely new understanding of what it means to be joyfully and sacrificially generous. Some of their perspectives on giving have been rewired, and the potential consequences of this shift are exciting!

Watching their kids grow in their faith, resilience, and perseverance. Nobody wishes their children to experience pain and suffering, but to see faith bloom during this season has been a tremendous blessing.

Gaining a newfound outlook on life, relationships, finances, and what it means to pursue meaning over money.

Feeling a deep sense of gratitude. Not dwelling on all the things we don't have, but being sincerely grateful for all we do.

Beauty, through the ashes. Sometimes we get more than we bargained for, and we'd give anything to undo it, but beauty will always rise from the ashes.

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Carving a Path

According to society, our younger generation is screwed. They will never save money. They will never buy a house. They will never retire. They will never be able to survive without having 3-4 jobs. They will never have a standard of living that resembles the generations before them. At least that's the narrative I hear on a daily basis. 

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with one such young adult. 23 years old. Limited education. Comes from a family with few financial resources. Lives in a humble apartment. 

Oh yeah, and he will make more income this year than my family. No, he's not an influencer. No, he didn't invent anything. No, he wasn't given a cushy job by someone with influence. 

He developed a blue-collar skill and decided to sell it to people. After doing that a bunch of times, he did it a bunch more. He saved, saved, and saved. Then he bought a van. Then he hired a few people to help him. Then he hired a few more. Today, he has an entire team that serves people all around the city. He's crushing it! Reminder, he's 23. 

As he shared updates about his journey, I couldn't help but smile. He created something out of nothing. He carved his own unique path. He put in the work, made sacrifices, and figured it out one failure at a time. There's nothing special about him other than his willingness to do what others won't. In today's marketplace, that's a superpower. 

We live in a country that allows each of us to carve a unique path. There's literally unlimited opportunity…..if we're willing to pursue it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with choosing a traditional, more linear path. That can be an awesome and fulfilling life, and many people around me are living examples of that. However, if you're feeling discontent with your status, standing, or progress with your current path, always remember that alternative paths exist. An entire alternative universe exists! A universe that you're the author of.

I hope your life, both at work and outside of it, is fulfilling and meaningful. I hope you wake up every day excited for what's to come. If you're not, though, I encourage you to muster the courage to carve a different path. It's right there in front of you.

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Say No to Guilt

Do you ever make financial decisions out of guilt or societal pressure? If yes, that means you're human. If no, that means you're lying......or a robot. It happens to all of us at times. Throughout the course of our day-to-day lives, we face thousands of decisions, big and small. We run into situations where we might want to make one particular decision, but the walls of guilt and/or pressure start to close in.

Tipping is one area that's becoming increasingly difficult for people to navigate. It seems like everyone and everything wants a tip. I was recently solicited for a tip from a machine that was fully automated. What do you mean the robot wants a tip?!?!?

In a recent survey conducted by Talker Research, it was discovered that Americans are spending $283/year on guilt-driven tipping in 2025, which happens an estimated 4.2x per month. $283/year is nearly $24/month. We each spend an average of $24/month on tips, solely dictated by the guilt and pressure!

As the owner of a coffee shop, I'm acutely aware of this tension. On one hand, I completely get why people are growing weary of the systematic and manufactured pressures to tip. On many occasions, it does feel like we are getting set up and manipulated.

On the other hand, I embrace the idea of our team being handsomely rewarded for excellence and hospitality. I want them to crush it, but I want them to earn it! I want them to add so much value to that experience that people want to freely and generously tip them (no guilt!).

Where I personally land on this topic is to never be influenced by guilt or pressure when tipping. When I'm at a coffee shop or most other service providers, I demand excellence. When excellence is delivered, I tip exceedingly well. Even when the service is poor (which is now a common occurrence), I tip something. I know my opinion is controversial to many, but I'm still a tipping purist at heart. I believe tipping is an intimate form of generosity, grace, and an opportunity to reward and incentivize excellence. I'm all-in on tipping.

My Meaning Over Money business partner, Cole, has a different perspective. He's beyond tired of our tipping culture and is quick to hit "no tip" in many situations. For example, if the establishment isn't in the food and beverage industry, no tip. If it's a food and beverage establishment and he has to order at a counter or walk up to grab his own food or drink, no tip. If the employee isn't polite and friendly, a much lower tip. Similar to me, but in the completely opposite way, Cole doesn't feel guilt, either. He is sincere in his actions and doesn't lose sleep over it.

While I disagree with Cole's tipping principles, I fully approve and affirm his endeavor to make guilt-free and pressure-free decisions. That's an important part of living with meaning in our finances. Nothing good comes from guilt, so let's strive to remove it from our day-to-day habits.

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