Four and a Quarter

I recently found treasure! Well, not real treasure, exactly. As I was rummaging through some of my old childhood possessions, I stumbled upon a little wrinkled piece of paper that more resembled a ticker tape than a sheet of paper. It was my original pay stub from my very first job!

I was 15 years old and was hired to be an early morning groundskeeper at my local golf course. My first responsibility was to arrive at the course five days per week at 5AM to rake all the sandtraps before the early bird golfers arrived. My hourly wage for such a stellar job? $4.25/hour. Yeah, you bet I was rollin' in the dough!

It's easy to look at that number - $4.25/hour - and laugh. It was so little, especially after taxes were withheld. However, it might as well have been a million dollars for a 15-year-old kid trying to save money for his first car.

I learned so much at that job. No, I didn't go on to apply my groundskeeping skills in the years and decades that followed. That summer, I learned about discipline, doing difficult tasks, the value of money, and the beauty of work. That job didn't feel beautiful at the time (it kinda sucked!), but over the subsequent decades, I look back fondly at that job and what it taught me.

I hope each of you has your version of my four and a quarter per hour job. The one that paid little, challenged much, and taught you some key lessons along the way. To this day, I never take anything for granted, especially as a business owner. I'm so grateful for each and every dollar of income I'm blessed with to provide for my family.

Sometimes, when I get reflective, I think back to that kid working on the golf course as a 15-year-old, sweating it out for four and a quarter per hour. I'm really glad he did that. Had he not, I don't think I would have developed the habits, mindsets, and principles I have today.

Never forget where you came from, and never take what you have for granted. Both are blessings.

Lastly, if you have kids, don’t rob them of the beauty of work. Encourage them to create their own four-and-a-quarter moments that will shape them, mold them, and teach them valuable life lessons. It’s not even about the money. It’s about learning how to work and the discipline it takes to be successful. That skill is needed more now than ever before!

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One Round At a Time

One of my family's favorite traditions is our weekly Saturday morning Northern Vessel runs. We hop into the car, head to the shop, and enjoy coffee as a family. It's one of my favorite traditions, and marks the end of a great week.

Yesterday, we were perched on the front window bench, enjoying the sun on our backs. Noticing we are now stocking a new drink in the fridge, Pax asked if we could buy one for him to try.

"Sure, bud, but you gotta be the one who buys it."

I've been setting the boys up for these types of real-world interactions since they were five. It's scary for them, often uncomfortable. Forcing them to engage with other adults in a transactional or financial setting can be scary for kids.....which is exactly why I create these types of scenarios.

Pax, now eight and having done this enough times to know I wasn't going to relent, responded, "Okay. Do you want me to use cash or the debit card?"

"Whichever one you want."

"I'll try cash this time."

Then, I gave him my usual pep talk:

• Speak loudly

• Communicate clearly

• Be confident

• Use your pleases and thank-you's

Without hesitation (a new and welcomed development), he took the cash, grabbed his beverage, and approached the register. Then, in a fun little twist of fate, he was met by Antonio, one of our newest baristas. Since we aren't a normal coffee shop, Antonio isn't a normal barista. Antonio is a 6'9" undefeated professional heavyweight boxer. He's a beast. Even I can be intimidated by Antonio! To Pax, he might as well have been Ivan Drago.

Pax handled himself like a little champ, though. He was probably a bit intimidated, but just like Rocky, he didn't back down. I was really proud of how Pax navigated the situation, which is undoubtedly the product of having done this countless times over the past three years. One round at a time, as Rocky's trainer would say!

As parents, it's imperative that we place our kids in these types of situations. Yes, it can be scary. Yes, it can be intimidating. Yes, they are going to fail. Yes, it would be easier to do it ourselves. However, these are the types of repetitions that slowly turn our children into thriving adults.

Furthermore, I'm grateful to Antonio for offering such kindness and hospitality to Pax. That was an intimidating situation, and Antonio allowed Pax to work his way through it and come away with satisfaction and confidence. Antonio is the man!

Parents, please don't rob your children of these types of situations. It might seem simple and meaningless, but these little repetitions can mean everything. Our children deserve to learn about how to use and handle money, as well as real-world interactions with other adults. These are small and powerful wins. Force them. Embrace them. Celebrate them.

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Happy Anniversary, Wall!

Yesterday was a huge day for us at Northern Vessel. No, it wasn't the anniversary of our opening. No, we didn't hit any particular milestones. No, we didn't launch any new products. In fact, practically nobody even knew it was a significant day. As of right now, the only ones in the know are me, the other two owners, our team, and now, you.

Yesterday was the first and only one-year anniversary of not having a car crash through our shop's walls. We've been open for nearly three years, and until yesterday, we've never gone 12 months without having our space devastated by a speeding vehicle.

It's easy to laugh about this today, but the truth is, we've always laughed about it. No, we never found it particularly funny having our business and the safety of our guests/staff put at risk by the misdeeds of reckless people. The truth is, though, we only had two choices: laugh about it or cry about it. We chose laughter.

Regardless of what industry, discipline, career, or role we're in, we WILL be faced with brutal challenges. Obstacles, tragedies, misfortunes, and many other similar words that reek of misery. These types of things are inevitable, but our reaction to them isn't. The onus is on each of us to respond well.

Sure, we could have played the victim card. Our beautiful shop was devastated by a car in August 2023, bringing all our good momentum to a halt. We had everything going for us, then BOOM! (literally), all that good work turned into wreckage. We closed for a few days before reopening with our beautiful glass windows replaced with ugly plywood.

You can probably imagine how euphoric it felt to finally have a fully operational shop in March 2024 when the construction was complete. We were so happy to be back to normal! We spent the next several weeks re-building momentum, preparing for what was sure to be an amazing summer.

Then, in the worst form of deja vu, terror struck again in May 2024 when a second car crushed us again. Devastating! However, we again chose to laugh. A poor attitude wasn't going to fix anything. Instead, we endeavored forward, committed to the vision of providing world-class hospitality despite the new eyesore and hindered operation.

Yesterday, though, we celebrated one year of being car crash-free. We rejoice in the fact our shop is beautiful, our team is thriving, and our guests are joyful.

Nothing will go the way we plan (or hope), so we must continue forward, one step at a time. While I'm talking about a coffee shop, I'm not really talking about a coffee shop. This is our lives. This is our finances. This is our businesses. This is our careers. This is our relationships. We can laugh or we can cry. We can give up, or we can carry on. We can be a victim, or we can push forward. There are a million things that can bring your dreams to a halt. Don't let them. Laugh, persevere, and keep up the good work.

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A Terrible Daughter

I spent yesterday meeting with approximately 50 leaders from all over Colombia, discussing the importance of organizational standards. Standards in transparency, communication, governance, and financial responsibility, to name a few. It was a wonderful day, and I learned so much from the various leaders (each with his/her own perspective and discipline).

At one point in the meeting, my friend Gary asked our guests to stand and share their opinions on why these standards matter. One particular woman, a middle-aged attorney, said something that struck me. I wrote it down, as it was something I wanted to sear into my brain. As with most of my meetings here, my involvement is facilitated through translators, and we're blessed to have three amazing translators with us. (Side note: I'm constantly in awe of how these three women navigate this craft so well!). Here's what this guest said that knocked me off my feet:

"Disorder is the daughter of improvisation. Without standards comes chaos, and eventually failure."

Standards mean everything! I regularly write about the importance of being excellent. Whether you're trying to thrive in your career or successfully run your business, the key is excellence. Excellence, excellence, excellence. However, excellence is born from standards.

Or, as I visually represented to our Colombian team later in the day, you can't have excellence without standards, and you can't have growth without excellence. Standards > Excellence > Growth. Therefore, everything begins with standards. If we try to be excellent without having standards, we've failed before we even start. If we try to grow without being excellent, it's like a house built on sand.....it will eventually collapse.

What are your standards? This is a question we must each ask ourselves. Whether it's in the operation of our family's finances, our careers, our parenting, our marriages, or our businesses, it all begins with standards. My friend TJ says it best: "We don't rise to the level of our aspirations. We fall to the level of our standards." If you tell me what your standards are, I'll tell you what your ceiling is.

My clients who set rock-solid standards will inevitably thrive. Yes, they will be met with stress, tension, turmoil, and unwanted surprises; that's life! However, when standards are established, and then met, success (as dictated by their standards) is nearly inevitable.

My encouragement today is to think about your standards. What standards have you set in the way you approach the various aspects of your life? I can tell you my life is thriving in the areas where I set high standards.....and struggling in the areas where I failed to set standards. I need only look in the mirror to reflect the harsh reality of this principle. Standards mean everything.

I'm so grateful for all my Colombian friends and the memories we made yesterday in Medellín. There are days we will take the to grave with us….yesterday was one of those days for me. After 14 straight hours of meetings, mission, and memories, we ended the night with a little impulsive decision to jump into the rooftop hot tub at our hotel (in the rain, nonetheless). This is the view that concluded our day.

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Taking the Beans For Granted

Have you ever wondered why coffee is so expensive? Yeah, me too! The cost of buying a small bag of quality beans feels exceedingly high. However, after what I experienced yesterday, I'm beginning to wonder why coffee is so cheap.

I spent the day with my new Colombian and Guatemalan friends touring a coffee farm and experiencing what a day in the life of a Colombian coffee farmer looks like. In short, I was astounded by what I saw and experienced. First, one perk of being a Colombian coffee farmer: the views!!! Check out how beautiful this is.

Considering I co-own a coffee company, I feel pretty well-versed. However, that changed yesterday when I had the privilege of seeing it from the producer's point of view. What astounds me most about coffee is how many things must go right for a delicious cup of coffee to reach our hands. It's almost a miracle.

First, the land, climate, and environment must be right to raise quality coffee. The right plants must be planted in the right locations, and cared for accordingly.

Second, and most surprising to me, is the harvesting process. The act of harvesting quality coffee is far more manual than I could have imagined. Each cherry is picked by hand, and must be picked at the precise moment of ripeness, ensuring any bad cherries are excluded. And we're not talking about skipping through vast open fields of coffee. It's more like carefully navigating the steep slopes of a mountain, making sure you don't careen off the edge in the process. Oh yeah, and the ground is probably wet while you're doing it.

Not-yet-ripe coffee cherries

Next comes the separation and drying. Each seed must be extracted from the fruit, then intentionally and methodically dried in the sun for upwards of 25 days. There are several methods to accomplish these goals, each requiring a diligent process.

Once the seeds have been dried and turned into green coffee beans, they need to be roasted. This is where my coffee knowledge starts to pick up. Roasting is both an art and a science. And unless the roaster knows what they are doing, even the best coffee beans in the world will taste like dirt. The craft of roasting well allows us to take high-quality green coffee beans and turn them into something beautiful.

Lastly, once the beans have been roasted, they must be prepared well for the final beverage to be delicious. Even the best beans, roasted at the highest quality, but prepared poorly, can be disgusting.

Five things need to go well in order for a cup of coffee to be delicious:

1. The plants must be appropriately placed and cared for.

2. The harvest must be completed with excellence.

3. The separation and drying need to be executed with intentionality.

4. The dried coffee beans must be roasted exquisitely.

5. The roasted coffee must be prepared with care.

If any one of these steps falters, it's a fail.

So, considering all that, I'm shocked quality coffee is as cheap as it is. Seeing what I saw yesterday makes me wonder what other things in my life I'm taking for granted. What else am I not fully appreciating for what it truly is? Perhaps I need to be more grateful for more of the blessings I have in my life. Who or what am I not giving enough credit to? Something I'll be thinking about today.

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Line In the Sand

I made a lightning-quick trip to Los Angeles to give a talk earlier this week. The event was awesome, and the audience was tremendously engaging. In my closing remarks, I said out loud what most people were probably thinking. Every person in that room has made destructive and painful financial mistakes, whether they know it or not. It’s okay. That’s life. It happens. My plea to them was to give themselves grace. We can’t jump into a DeLorean and go back in time. The past is the past. The ONLY thing that matters is doing better today, tomorrow, and the next day. Every single mistake (financial or otherwise) they’ve made is a mere paragraph in their larger story. 

Regret, remorse, and guilt are inevitable human feelings. None of us can fully escape them. However, each of us can decide what to do with them. If we dwell on it, we will perpetually prevent ourselves from doing better in the future. We will fixate on the past, wallow in the pain it’s caused us, and continually beat ourselves up, wondering what could have been. The alternative, though, is to recognize what happened, learn from it, grow, and commit to doing better in the future. 

Every time I sit down with a new client, I ask them to draw a line in the sand. Where they are today is where they are…..period. Everything that’s happened in the past is in the past, and they are the author of what happens from today forward. People who can do this will thrive, while those who can’t will inevitably repeat history. 

Draw a line in the sand today. Whatever garbage is haunting you, financial or not, put it in the past. Today is a new day, and today is a great day to set a new course. A huge thanks to my friends in Los Angeles for hosting me,  and I couldn’t be more excited for that wonderful group of people I spent that evening with. This is where things get good!

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Losing Battles, Winning Wars

My boys suffered a heartbreaking loss on the football field on Saturday. It was the final pre-playoffs game of the year, and the kids couldn’t have been more excited. From the get-go, it just wasn’t their day. Their team made decent plays, but couldn’t stop their opponent to save their lives. They were somehow blessed with an opportunity to take the lead late in the game, but conceded a pick-six interception in the final few minutes to seal the defeat. They lost the battle, and it was a painful loss. 

However, I’m not in the battle-winning business. I care more about the war. A single game is a battle. We win some and we lose some. That’s life. My bigger focus was on the war. I want to see the bigger picture, the more life-altering impacts.

Early in the season, Pax would celebrate touchdowns with audacious celebrations, resembling his Madden shenanigans. He’d spike the ball, griddy, or do a group celebration with his teammates. One of my encouragements to him is to handle himself with class and professionalism. “Act like you’ve been there before.” He scored two touchdowns and two two-point conversions during this weekend’s game, but instead of showboating, he casually handed the ball to the ref and hugged his teammates. The war!

Finn isn’t the same type of athlete as Pax. While Pax is constantly in the limelight, Finn struggles to find his place. He hasn’t quite yet figured out his body and how to put the physical pieces together. He lacks confidence. He doubts himself. It doesn’t help having a twin who excels in all things sports. At Finn’s request, he plays all-time defense, stemming from his hesitation to run, catch, or throw a ball. During the first six games of the season, he had just one tackle (i.e. flag pull). However, on this fateful day, the day we experienced a heartbreaking defeat, he had a few monumental moments. He snagged his second tackle of the season, saving a touchdown. Then, on the very next play, he INTERCEPTED a pass in the endzone to create a game-relieving turnover. His confidence is building, and he’s giving it everything he has. The war!

Pax is known to be short-tempered and infuriated by losing. While the outcome of the game was a mess and constantly frustrating, every step of the way, he was encouraging teammates, helping opposing players off the ground, and celebrating other people’s wins. The war!

Yeah, that game sucked. We lost the battle. But it feels like we just might be winning the war. 

Don’t let your battle losses deter you from focusing on the war. So many people I work with are losing battles every day, every week, and every month. Life is kicking hard, and it gets exhausting. Job losses, medical emergencies, car trouble, business stress, house maintenance issues, relational tension. It’s okay to lose battles as long as we keep our eyes focused on the war. Whatever this means to you today (and I have a feeling you know), don’t elevate the battles above the war. It’s okay to lose a hundred battles if we eventually win the war. Keep fighting. 

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When the Stakes Are Lower

We had an emergency in our house yesterday. As the kids were getting ready for their football game, Pax realized his receiver gloves were missing. While he was stunned by this development, I was 0% surprised. He's known to just randomly put things in weird and unconventional places. Each time this occurs, I express the importance of things going in their place and the risk he's creating by being negligent with his decisions.

Yesterday, it bit him. His immediate reaction was that we needed to quickly run to Target to buy new gloves. That wasn't happening. It was nearly time to drive to the game, so there wasn't going to be an emergency run for new gloves.

Further, we weren't going to buy him gloves after the game, either. He made a mistake, and now he gets to experience the consequences. Later in the day, Sarah offered to take him to Target to buy new gloves that HE would pay for with his own money.....$20. Ouch!

He really, really, really wants gloves, but the thought of draining his cash to replace gloves he had just a week ago was too painful for him. I'm glad it was painful! Ultimately, he elected to not purchase the gloves. He will play his final two games without them as he considers his options.

It would have been so simple for us to buy him new gloves. However, doing so would have prevented him from learning a tremendously important lesson. Today, he gets to learn this lesson when the stakes are low instead of later when the stakes are much, much higher. This is such a critical concept for parents to practice. If we continually bail out our children (financially or otherwise), we rob them of experiencing the harsh pain and learning the tough lessons.

Pax is frustrated with himself. He wishes he had carried himself differently. And from now on, hopefully, he will. This $20 lesson at eight will possibly save him from a $20,000 lesson at 28. We need to let our kids fail when the stakes are lower, not protect them from failure today while setting them up to get crushed when the stakes are much higher.

As we play football in the backyard later today, I hope it stings him a little. I hope he remembers that feeling and subsequently grows through it. We'll still have a blast playing, though! That kid is getting good!

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Getting to the Excellence Part

I recently discovered that an old friend runs a business. I had no idea he even had a business, which perhaps should have been my first red flag. In any event, I discovered his business upon seeing a social media post from said business, venting about how people need to do a better job "supporting" small businesses. In short, his business was struggling, and unless something changes soon, they may have to shut their doors.

Curious, I did a deep dive into his last 12 months of social media posts. Here's what I found: 50% of the posts were about supporting small business, 40% of the posts were them taking stands on various political topics, and 10% of the postswere related to the business.

I reached out to my friend, offering to help. "Dude, I can't even tell what your business does from looking at your social media." Clearly annoyed, he responded, "People should already know what I do."

He asked if I had any ideas, seemingly open to outside ideas/perspectives. As a matter of fact, I had many......but one stands out above all others. He needs to get to the excellence part.....period. Just be excellent. Serve people well. Add value to his customers. Treat people with hospitality. Do amazing work. At every step of the conversation, he wanted to return to the idea that people need to "do a better job at supporting small businesses."

The same day, I talked to another friend who is struggling at work. He believes he deserves to be promoted, but gets continually overlooked. "Have you been excellent?" I asked. He just stared at me for a few seconds. "Well, I show up to work if that's what you're asking." After some prodding, here's what I discovered:

• He shows up to the office right on time.....never early.

• He NEVER stays past 5PM. If there's a project hanging in the balance, it can wait until tomorrow. "I don't work for free."

• He doesn't respond to messages outside of business hours.

• He admittedly does just enough to get by.

There's nothing excellent about that. I'm not advocating for his firing, but at the same time, I'm not sure why anyone would want to promote someone who doesn't exude excellence.

When all else fails, be more excellent. Are there people out to get us? Maybe. Is life fair? Not at all. Are crappy things going to happen to us? Without a doubt. But through all that noise, excellence stands out. Excellence is the linchpin to everything. There are a million things we cannot control, but our level of excellence is one we can.

So, today, whether you're an employee or a business owner, let's get to the excellence part. Excellence always wins.

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Must Be Nice

"Must be nice." Ah, gotta love that phrase. "Must be nice" is a politer way to say "You got lucky" or "I'm jealous." It's also a phrase that signals the beginning of the end. The mere utterance of these words signals that your inputs are detached from your outputs. Using this phrase means outcomes are not correlated with executon. Mentioning this phrase means you've lost before you've even had a chance to play the game.

These words were said to me on Saturday afternoon on the heels of the Downtown Des Moines Farmers' Market. My friend saw our huge line as he passed through the market and had some "feedback" for me afterward. He gave me permission to write about it, so that took away some of the sting. In short, though, he attributed our long lines to good fortune. Right place, right time.

He's not alone in this sentiment, and this doesn't just apply to Northern Vessel. If you've built something that matters (whether it be a business or career), there are countless people in your life who are sopping with jealousy. Or, in the words of one of my business owner clients, "Travis, you're the only person in our lives we can even talk to about this stuff. You're the only one who will genuinely celebrate with us." He, too, gets lots of "It must be nice" comments. Jealousy is everywhere.

The truth is, it does feel nice. It feels wonderful to create something that matters. However, ahead of that niceness is a ton of blood, sweat, tears, pain, suffering, failure, and growth.

In this conversation, my friend asked what I attributed our success to. I think there are a lot of reasons for it, and they all revolve around inputs, not outputs. While most people believe in obsessing about the outputs, we believe in obsessing over the inputs and merely measuring the outputs.

Here are some of our inputs:

• We're obsessed with finding the right people. It's extremely difficult to get hired at NV. TJ's standards and expectations are brutally high.

• Financially, we believe in paying our team ridiculously well. TJ hasn't given me permission to share specifics (yet!), but we created a compensation structure for the farmer's market that boggles the mind. Interests are aligned, and our team is incentivized to crush it.

• In turn, the work is a grind! It's like going to battle. Our team goes into market days knowing they will be wreckedby the time we're done. My hope is they look back on that experience and say, wow, that was awesome!

• Unreasonable hospitality. It's not good enough to quickly serve a coffee. Anyone can serve a coffee. But can you make people feel a certain way while doing it? The experience is everything.

• Constant obsession with getting better and more efficient. "Good enough" isn't good enough. Every team member has the green light to propose ideas for "better."

I pray you get rid of the phrase "It must be nice" from your life, and keep all the "It must be nice" people at arm's length. Whatever you're into, obsess about the inputs and measure the outputs. Keep going! "Nice" is coming.

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5.2

Yesterday marked a hallmark day in my year: The first day of farmer's market season! This is the third year Northern Vessel has set up shop at the Des Moines Farmers' Market (regularly voted one of the top five markets in the country). 

Our operation is simple, but difficult. The simple part is that we only sell one product: our signature oat milk cold brew latte. The difficult part is scaling it to levels that challenge common sense and any form of reasonableness.

The market is open from 7am-12pm on Saturday mornings, May through October. Five hours, once per week, for six months. 26 bites at the apple. You get one shot to make the most of that precious time. Heading into our first year, we had no idea what we were doing. We essentially winged it, figured out what didn't work, tweaked, tested, and repeated. Eventually, we plateaued at a point where we could sell 2.8 drinks per minute. It was a massive success! We were proud of our achievements and thoroughly enjoyed the process.

Heading into our second year, we knew our peak was around 2.8 drinks per minute, but we aspired to do it better. A better experience, more fun, more hospitality, a better overall vibe. We wanted that three-minute experience to be the highlight of someone's day. 

By the third week of our second season, we realized our minds were far too small. After testing (and failing) new ideas, our constant tweaking yielded results we never even imagined. In the heart of that season, we capped out at 5.2 drinks per minute.....it was bonkers.

In this last offseason, heading into the third year, we looked at it differently. No matter how close we think we are to our peak, we realize we still haven't even scratched the surface of what's possible. This mere notion led our team down a rabbit hole of obsession. For the past few months, we've tested new ideas and debated countless tweaks. What if this person stands here? What if those cups are positioned there? What if we used this other piece of equipment to fill cups instead of the normal one? What if a different person fills that role?

As this season approached, that 5.2 drinks per minute number lingered in our minds. This time, though, we didn't look at it as a ceiling, but rather a floor. In our minds (or perhaps imaginations), we believed we could blow by a previous record that never seemed possible to begin with. Our new goal: 7.0 drinks per minute for five hours. Yesterday was our first test. In yesterday’s market season opener, with unseasonally low temps, we landed at 5.2 drinks per minute.....tying our previous peak-season record. Now, we tweak.

I love this team!

I have much more to say about this, but I'm quickly running out of real estate. I'll pick that up soon. In the meantime, here's my takeaway. Whatever you think is possible....is. Whatever you think isn't possible.....isn't. And whenever you think you've reached your peak, you haven't even scratched the surface. Keep tweaking!

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Sign Here

I met a blog reader yesterday. We spent about an hour together, and I thoroughly enjoyed our time together. We dabbled in conversations around careers, meaning, materialism, parenting, debt, marriage, and budgeting. Overall, it was such a treat to meet him, and I hope it's the first of many encounters.

He said one thing that was particularly fascinating to me, and on the spot, I told him that it needed to be today's blog. I'm going to paraphrase him, as I don't remember his exact quote. In short, he said that between the ages of 20 and 30, we tend to make financial decisions based on what other people tell us to do. Parents, mentors, co-workers, friends, family. After all, we're young and this is our first time dealing with real-life money stuff. Thus, we trust.

He also added that we spent much of that decade "signing away":

• Sign here, and these loans will pay for your college.

• Sign here, and you can use this shiny plastic card to buy whatever you want.

• Sign here, and you can buy this car (but only after you sign here on this other document for the loan).

• Sign here, and you will own this house (along with all the not-yet-known responsibilities that come with it).

• Sign here, and you can take all these furniture and appliances home without paying interest for 36 months.

• Sign here, and you can marry this person (this one is actually pretty awesome).

• Sign here, and you'll be the parent of record on this child's birth certificate (this one is pretty amazing, too!).

We sign, sign, and sign.....for a decade. Then, we wake up sometime in our 30s and realize our life looks a lot different. The wisdom (or lack thereof) in each of those signatures has set the foundation for what our life now looks like. For many of us, it's scary, daunting, and suffocating. We realize some of those signatures, in hindsight, caused tremendous damage to our lives.

As my new friend was sharing this idea with me, I couldn't help but think back to all my "sign here" moments during my 20s. Each of those moments, without knowing it, caused ripple effects that I still feel 15-20 years later.

Perhaps we need to slow down....especially in those young adult years. Perhaps we need to more carefully consider our "sign here" moments, thinking through the ripple effects it might have on our future. Perhaps we need to surround ourselves with a wiser circle of influence, one that won't lead us down these dangerous roads.

If you're well past your 20s, as I am, perhaps you need to find some young adults in your life and invest in them. These young men and women desperately need strong influences to help guide them to places they won't regret 20 years later. It's our job, collectively, to help this generation avoid so many of the crippling mistakes we made. We might not be able to go back in time to help our younger selves, but in a poetic way, perhaps serving this next generation well is our DeLorean.

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Forced Reset

It’s the middle of the night. I’m still awake, writing this post on my phone, in a different state, sandwiched between two little sleeping boys in a much-too-small bed in a hotel room that I unexpectedly booked 10 minutes before checking in, just moments ago. If that doesn’t summarize my life, I’m not sure what does.

I’ve had a week. Some of the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows. I’ve served people, and I’ve been served. I’ve been on the giving end of generosity, and the receiving end. I’ve made some people really, really happy…..and others whatever the opposite of happy is.

My tank is simultaneously full and empty. I have a million ideas to write about, but also none. The mind feels crowded, but also empty.

I have so many stories to share, ideas to present, and encouragement to foster. Yet, I don’t have the mental or emotional capacity to adequately share them with the vigor and thoughtfulness they deserve.

So, today, I think the idea on the table is about getting a reset. Despite my best efforts to prove otherwise, we can’t go 100mph for weeks on end and expect a healthy outcome.

I’m hoping to find a reset somewhere in my weekend…..hopefully today. I hope you do, too. I also hope you’re better at this than me. If not, I’m so sorry. Let’s try to improve on this together.

A forced reset is still a reset, so reset I will. Have a wonderful day, and I can’t wait to share more with you tomorrow…..when I’m not delirious.

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Pushing Through the Pain

My son Pax ran his first 5K this weekend. He carried himself with a combination of excitement and anxiousness in the days leading up to the race. More than anything, he just didn't know what to expect. But as we were mere moments from beginning the race, he was beyond excited.

I told him I would stay by his side every minute of the race. He would set the pace, and I'd stick with him. The opening moments were fantastic.....which lasted all of a half mile. Then, things turned south quickly. I'm not sure he had ever ran more than a half mile in his life, so I was expecting 3.1 miles to break him......and break him it did! His legs hurt. His foot hurt. His lungs hurt. He was facing physical, mental, and emotional demons. He wanted to quit. It was too hard. He wasn't good enough. He wasn't strong enough. He didn't belong there. The self-talk was crushing. There was crying. There was yelling. There was the innocent 8-year-old kid's version of swearing.

My goal was to push him hard enough to step up to the challenge, but not so hard that he'd snap. I would pick out a landmark in the distance and say, "Alright, man, we're going to jog from here to that yellow sign, then we'll walk again. Let's push through the pain." He'd say no a few times, then relent. Then, we'd repeat that cycle all over again.

As we turned the final corner and approached the last tenth of a mile, we could see the finish line. "Pax, I want you to sprint to the finish line with everything you got. Don't leave any gas left in the tank. Just go for it!" And he did! He took off and gave it everything he had. He collapsed to the ground as soon as he crossed the finish line. I couldn't tell if he was happy, sad, angry, or some other emotion. Ultimately, I realized he was just really dang proud of himself. He did something he didn't think was possible. He pushed through the pain, and that was a grander award than any medal he could have received.

Pushing through the pain is one of life's greatest lessons. Success isn't accomplished in the absence of pain. Rather, it's something that happens amidst, in, and through the pain. Pain is inevitable, but it's what we do with the pain that dictates our fate.

This applies to 5Ks, money, work, entrepreneurship, relationships.....everything! Please don't avoid pain. Don't run away from it. Don't hide from it. Pain isn't something to be avoided. It's something to be confronted head-on. When we do, we grow. We win. We prove to ourselves that we can (and should) do things that matter.

I don't know if Pax will ever run a 5K again, but I'm 100% certain he just learned a valuable lesson that will carry with him for decades to come. Push through the pain!

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A Streak of One

Someone recently asked how many days in a row I've published a blog. "Almost 900." "Wow, that's amazing! How in the world do you write 900 days in a row?"

This post isn't about my blog, but the blog provides a tangible example of a very simple and powerful concept. Here was my response to my friend: "It's simple. A 900-day streak is really just 900 one-day streaks. Just take care of today. Tomorrow can wait until tomorrow."

If I think about writing 900 days in a row, it seems unreasonable and unreachable. However, when I think about just writing one post today, that feels workable. Then tomorrow, I'll do the same again.

It reminds me of when I started intermittent fasting (no calories between dinner and noon the following day). My goal was to fast for a week. One day at a time, I achieved my goal. Day 1, then day 2, then day 3.....each day, focusing solely on that day's goal. What started as a goal to fast for one week has become a lifestyle. I don't even think about fasting anymore because it's just part of me. It's now been a fundamental part of my life for over two years, and it's radically changed my life. The same goes for writing, a teeth brushing, and tucking my kids in at night, and going to bed.

Using an obviously silly example, I never set out to brush my teeth for 15,000 consecutive days. Rather, I just took care of business one day, then did it again the next. After enough repetition, it becomes part of our daily rituals.

Here's my good news today: Anything can become a habit, a ritual, a streak. Some of you have ridiculously large dreams, but continuously fall short. Perhaps today is the day to start a streak of one. One repetition. Just one. Then, tomorrow, maybe you'll do it again. Oh wow, two days in a row! How about just one more day? If you're not careful, it will become engrained into the fabric of your life, fully solidified as a piece of you.

I'm not asking you to start a 1,000-day streak. Instead, today, I encourage you to start a streak of one.

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Biting Off More Than You Can Chew

Have you ever said "yes" to something that was far bigger than what you were capable of? Something you had no business saying yes to? Something that almost makes you feel like an idiot for even considering? I've had my share:

• As a 19-year-old, running a college program responsible for bringing celebrities to campus to speak and perform (which usually included dinner and airport drives with said celebrities).

• Adopting twin baby boys.

• Managing billions of dollars of real estate portfolios for some of the largest investors in the world.

• Building a coffee company.

• Launching a podcast when I knew absolutely nothing about podcasting.

• Committing to writing, editing, and publishing one blog post per day for the next twenty years.

To be honest, I shouldn't have said yes to a single one of these. I wasn't qualified for any of them. There was definitely a possibility I would fail. There were absolutely more qualified people for the job.

But saying yes to these types of things is how we grow. It's how we expand our capabilities. It's how we make an impact. Anyone can coast, do the easy things, and simply get by. The art of pushing oneself is also the art of moving the proverbial needle.

I recently said yes to something new. I'm terrified. I'm in way over my head. I might fail. There are most certainly more qualified people than me. But here we are. This new endeavor will soon take me to a faraway land, a completely unfamiliar place. I will be pushed and challenged in ways I've never known. It sounds terrible.....it sounds amazing!

I can't say much about it yet, but rest assured, you will hear plenty about it in due time. Some of you, if interested, will also receive an invitation to get involved. It will be exciting. In the meantime, I'll just be over here in the fetal position, repeatedly asking myself why I just signed up for one of the most intimidating things I've ever been part of.

I hope you bite off more than you can chew today. I hope you say yes to something ridiculous and scary. Not so that you can fail (though you might), but so you can make an impact. You will no doubt grow along the way as well.

Conquer the day!

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When the Experts Aren’t Experting

Yesterday's post landed well and resulted in much dialogue. I've received countless questions, responses, and personal testimonies. Then, I received an unexpected message from a close friend. This friend denounced my insights and said he will trust social media influencer xyz, who says we should sell all of our assets and wait out the storm. I looked up xyz influencer and immediately noticed a few things:

• He has a ton of followers

• He's super young

• He's only been investing for a few years

• He has a twisted and underwhelming understanding of finance

Why did my friend choose to follow the advice of this far less experienced and less knowledgeable person? Because this person has 100x more social media followers than I do. Translation: This guy is an expert.

It reminds me of a story I think about often. When Sarah and I first became parents, I was worried about my kids developing food allergies. It never sat well with me that more people than ever have allergies, and I desperately wanted my kids to avoid it. With this concern in mind, I sought the best expert I could find.

At the time, I was on a non-profit board of directors with a man who founded one of the world's largest food allergy testing labs. He was a pioneer in the field. He had zero social media followers. He's not famous. His face isn't plastered all over the internet. His video clips haven't gone viral. He's a good, humble, honest, and wise man.

I approached him with my concern. Was there anything I could do as a parent to help prevent food allergies from being an issue with my children? He gave me an overwhelming "yes" response and shared his wisdom on preventing food allergies. In short, his advice flew in the face of all the so-called "experts" spouting off their opinions. It was simple. It was profound. Fast forward eight years, and we don't have a single food allergy. Is that because of my friend's advice? Is it because my kids simply had a genetic disposition against food allergies? We may never know, but I trusted a true expert.

A few years later, this conversation came up with a trusted friend about to have her first child. She, too, had the same allergy concern as I did. I shared the wise advice of my allergy expert friend, and she thanked me.

Fast forward a year, I asked her if she followed my friend's advice. No, she didn't. Ultimately, she trusted the advice of a few famous social media moms who had opinions on the subject. The advice was the opposite of my friend's advice. The result? Every one of her kids has food allergies.....bad food allergies. Was it because of her approach? Was it because her kids simply had a genetic disposition toward food allergies? We may never know, but she trusted a famous person with an opinion.

We need to discern our sources carefully. It's so easy to get swept up by the loudest and sexiest voices. There is so much bad information floating around out there. Be careful. Be vigilant. Be discerning.

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The Big 3

My head is spinning. Too many ideas. Too many projects. Too many tasks. Too many next-steps. Too many follow-ups. Too many everythings. It feels like too much. Can you relate? I feel like this often, but this particular idea was hitting especially hard for me last night. I hope someday, someone will teach me the secret to all of this. Until then, I will do what I always try to do: The Big 3.

The Big 3 is a simple idea I heard several years ago. No matter how many things are on the to-do list today, designate the three most important things. The three things that, if accomplished, it doesn't matter what else I got done. The three things that, no matter what else happens today, the day is still considered a win. The three things that, despite the noise and chaos, WILL get accomplished.

I feel like a failure often.....daily. However, the Big 3 help me find the right wins to celebrate and the grace to forgive myself once again. In this very moment, I'm trying to figure out what mine are for today. The bad news is I'm definitely going to fail today. The good news is I absolutely 100% will achieve my big 3. I hope you do, too!

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On the Other Side of Fear

I spent part of yesterday meeting with an awesome couple experiencing some pretty crazy life changes. To my surprise, the wife said I once told her something that has continuously stuck with her. I don't remember saying it, but it sounds like something I would say. "There's nothing in life worth doing that doesn't involve fear."

We humans tend to treat fear as a warning sign that we shouldn't do something, but I think it's quite the opposite. Fear is a tell that we SHOULD do it. Often, what we want most is directly on the other side of fear. Based on some recent major decisions, this couple is certainly living out this principle. It's exciting - and encouraging - to see.

Coincidentally, I'm about to face one of my biggest fears in a few hours.

14 years ago, I suffered a crippling foot injury. After nearly two months on crutches and countless specialist consultations, it was recommended that I have the nerves cut out of the bottom of my right foot. Thankfully, one surgeon stepped in and pointed me in a better path. Turns out, I had torn a tendon and fractured a joint on the bottom of my foot, causing nerve-damage-like symptoms. That set the table for more than a year of physical therapy, which concluded with a warning that I may never be able to independently walk without wearing a splint. Fast forward about four years, and not only was I walking without a splint, but I had full athletic ability with that foot. I was so grateful!

Then, not long after that, I experienced a crushing back injury. I again spent more than a year in physical therapy, trying to regain a sense of normal again. While I've definitely regained normal day-to-day function, my basketball career ended 10 years ago when that injury occurred. I haven't played one bit of competitive full-court basketball since.

Here's where the fear comes in. Today, I'll be participating in an alumni basketball tournament with some of my old high school teammates. It's been 25 years since I've seen some of them. We're playing in my old high school gym. We'll be playing against teams 20 years younger than us. We'll have at least three games. I'm terrified. This will either be the most fun day of my year, or an unmitigated disaster. You best believe you'll find out which way this goes.

There's something profoundly beautiful about going head-first through our fears. Sure, we could play life safe, taking the easy path at every opportunity. That would certainly save us a lot of failure, embarrassment, and pain. But it would also rob us of meaning and fulfillment.

I really don't want to do what I'm about to do, but I'll be so glad I did it. I hope you have your own version of that in your life soon. Please don't shy away from the fear. Lean into it. Go through it!

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Yes, Too Simple

I ran into a friend at a coffee shop yesterday. It was good to see him, but he had a bone to pick with me. He wasn't actually mad at me, but he did have a problem with yesterday's post. "The thing that bothers me about your content is that you oversimplify things." That was the best compliment I received all week! It made my day!

Here's my beef. Personal finance is typically treated like some sort of above-people's-heads, MBA-level rocket science. In fact, the entire financial industry is constructed that way to convince people they need to hire outside help (you know, the experts!). They are masters at taking simple things and making them complicated. On the flip side, my entire mission is to bring it back the other way and simplify the things that have been artificially made to seem complicated.

Would you believe the buddy I mentioned above is in the financial industry? What a coincidence! Meanwhile, I received a bunch of messages from current and former clients who affirmed the simplicity of implementing yesterday's idea. They said it felt weird at first, but once they recalibrated their life around this new mode of operation, it finally made their finances easy to navigate. Boom!

Simplify, simplify, simplify. If it doesn't seem too simple, it means it's not simple enough yet. I don't know about you, but I have far more important and meaningful things to do in my life than spend my time, energy, and worry on complex finances.

If you're interested in simplifying your finances and need some ideas on where to start, we just published a seven-part series on our Meaning Over Money Podcast called 101 (episodes 405-411). In it, we tackle some of the most foundational topics in personal finance and get back to the basics. Topics include:

• Budgeting

• Navigating lumpy expenses through the use of sinking funds

• Personal spending in marriage

• Managing inconsistent or volatile income

• The power of non-retirement taxable investing

• Life Insurance

• Taxes

If any of these sound interesting to you, check them out. They are 100% free and can be found on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you know someone in your life who could benefit from them, please consider sharing.

I hope you have a meaningful and SIMPLE day. Always remember, you have far more important things to do than spend all your time and energy dealing with your finances. Simplify!

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