The Winding Road of Life

Seven years ago, I was sitting in an office building in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, pitching a real estate fund to a prospective investor. Yesterday, I gave a four-hour workshop on excellence to 25 Christian non-profits, recorded a podcast episode, counseled a couple in pain, and spent the rest of the day doing cattle ranch work. Life moves fast.

Someone recently asked how I got from there to here. Truthfully, I'm not sure. I used to believe that life would feel linear, a generally straight line from point A to point B. Then, I experienced life. It's hard to digest just how fast everything goes and how winding the road can be.

It would be so easy to say "no" to all the detours and side streets life has to offer. After all, those paths can be scary, sometimes risky. Prevailing wisdom says to keep our eyes straight ahead and remain on the interstate.

There's something beautiful about these winding roads, though. There's a richness. There's awe. There's meaning. It's not to say these roads are always easy (they aren't), but based on my 44 years of life, I'd argue they are worth it in so many ways.

My brain is fried after all I experienced yesterday, so I'm going to keep today's post short while I spend more time reflecting on what just happened. My hope for you is that you encounter some windy, scary, and interesting side streets. I pray that when you do, you have the courage and boldness to say "yes" to the alternate route. It likely won't always go smoothly, but I sincerely believe it will be worth it. Have an awesome day!

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“Of Course You Did”

I recently got in trouble with Sarah. I made her a promise.....then I let her down. No, it wasn't some monumental, marriage-critical promise. She asked me to buy coffee beans. For years, we've had a running argument in our house. I would open an Amazon box to discover coffee beans. "Sarah, we literally own a coffee company!!!! We buy some of the best coffee in the world.....and we get an employee discount on it!!!" I even went so far as to tell her that I'll immediately throw away any random coffee she buys outside of our shop. Dramatic of me, I know.

Anyway, she's come around and now honors the fact that we should probably buy the beans from our own company. Props to her. It might have taken three years, but better late than never, I'm told.

In accordance with our new agreement, if she ever needs coffee beans, I'll make sure to pick them up when I'm at the shop. Recently, she made a request for coffee. We were almost out at home, and she needed me to bring her the goods.

I drove to the shop, purchased a bag of coffee, and sat down at a table to get some work done. Over the next hour, I ended up in conversation with a couple of young ladies who were visiting the shop for the first time. One of the women saw my bag of retail coffee and asked, "Is that any good? I've heard good things about that brand, but I've never tried it. I was thinking about buying some."

Toward the end of the conversation, I handed her my bag of coffee and told her to enjoy it. She was surprised....and grateful. It was a little weird to her that a total stranger would hand over something they'd just purchased for themselves, but I'm glad she went along with it.

Fast forward to me showing up at home, empty-handed. "Did you get coffee?" Sarah asked.

"I did!!!! But then I gave it to another woman."

"Of course you did."

That last "of course you did" made my day. It wasn't an "of course" that I'd gift something to another woman, but an acknowledgment that my randomly handing something to a stranger didn't even move the needle for her. She almost expects it. First, I love that she's learned to expect that from me, and second, I love that she's cool with it.

Generosity should have no limits. If I walk out of the grocery store with a bunch of food, and I encounter someone on the way to my car who needs it more than I do, I give it. Period. No questions asked. That's how life ought to be lived. No rules. No exceptions. No buts. No justifications. No excuses. Generosity always wins.

You might not be someone who would elicit an "of course you did" response from a loved one......yet. However, that identity can be right around the corner. Just keep saying "yes" to generosity and see what happens.

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If You Believe

Our family had a fantastic Easter yesterday. Nothing fancy. Church, lunch, road trip home. However, what that day signifies is far greater than whatever plans we executed. For us, as believers, that day means everything.

If you believe in the Easter story, it should change everything; and by everything, I mean everything! In my mind, there's no way to believe the Easter story without it revolutionizing the way we perceive and handle money.

As a person of faith, I so strongly believe in how the relationships with our faith, work, and money are deeply intertwined.Here's what that looks like through my eyes:

• Our work matters. Our work matters so much. Every time we go to work, it's an opportunity to serve others and be a living witness of the faith.

• Our money and stuff isn't actually ours. Rather, we're merely managers. If that's true, then there's no limit to the amount of generosity we should show to others.

• Our home isn't here on Earth. Instead of working to accumulate money, stuff, and status, we should be pursuing a different sort of prize. Or, as the Bible puts it, storing up treasures in Heaven vs. storing up treasures on Earth.

• We have a responsibility to be good stewards with the time, talent, and resources we've been blessed with. Not just what we give, but also with what we keep.

• The pursuit of excellence isn't optional; it's the standard. There should never be a reason not to chase excellence in all we do.

Happy Easter, everyone! I hope you had a great day, and I hope you have a great week.

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Unicorns Still Exist

One of the sneaky little benefits of writing a daily blog is the privilege of looking back at old writings. Every now and then, I'll take a peek at what I wrote on this day over the years. Today, I stumbled upon this little gem from this day, April 5th, 2024.

In some ways, the ideas I shared in this post two years ago are even more controversial now than ever. The sentiment in our prevailing culture is that we're all screwed, relegated to a life of mere tolerance at best, or misery at worst.

Today, just as much as ever, I'll die on the hill that not only is living a meaning over money life possible, but critical to our wellbeing. Sure, if we want to constantly pursue money, stuff, and status, we might find some of that. It's the American way, after all. There is no lack of people telling each of us to make that the focal point of our pursuits.

On the other hand, pursuing meaning is a continually difficult endeavor. It oftentimes requires us to make sacrifices and turn our backs on the cultural definitions of success. At the same time, we may find ourselves battling the societal pressures and expectations thrust upon us.

I believed those words two years ago when I wrote them, and I still believe them today. Pursuing meaning never gets easier, but it 100% gets progressively more fulfilling as the years pass and momentum builds. Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about, and some will hopefully find out soon.

The world tells you that you can't. I'm telling you that you can. Decide which one you believe, and act accordingly.

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When Backwards Is Forward

Several months ago, one of my clients made a counter-cultural move. With small children at home, the husband intentionally took a different job. No, that's not counter-cultural. What's counter-cultural is the fact that he willingly and knowingly took a $10,000 pay cut. We're not talking about someone who makes huge money and then makes huge money minus $10,000. I'm talking about someone who makes a normal income, where there's not a ton of margin each month, who now makes a normal amount of money minus $10,000. See, counter-cultural.

When he walked into the room for our coaching meeting, he seemed light as a feather. He had a little extra pep in his step. He and his wife seemed like their marriage was as good as ever. He looked sincerely happy! However, I had to ask him the question: "Do you ever wonder if you should have stayed at the old job?"

"No, not a single doubt!" he said with a massive grin. I couldn't have loved it more!

Society says he's going backwards, but in the world of meaning over money, that dude just won the jackpot! He's living with so much joy, purpose, and fulfillment. Sure, he's making $10,000 less per year than he was, but that was the best $10,000 he ever spent!

His wife agrees. She also beams when talking about his new job and how it's made their lives better. She's proud of him and so happy that he's living his best life right now. One could say that his decision "hurt" his family, but she would vehemently reject that. They are better than ever, and it's not even close.

I've so often watched friends around me sabotage their lives for an increase in income. They left jobs they loved to take jobs that paid more. Over and over and over, I watch regret set in. Sure, the extra income feels really cool for a while; there's no denying that. However, once the dust settles and that new income just becomes normal, they have to reckon with the reality that they wake up each day with less enthusiasm, excitement, and purpose than they used to. To me, that's tragic.

Don't let our culture convince you that the definition of winning in your career is more income. Sure, there might be more income. More income might be the byproduct of your excellent work. However, more income in and of itself isn't winning. Pursue the meaning. Pursue the purpose. Pursue the life you never want to leave. That's the real definition of winning.

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Presents vs. Presence

One of my good friends, a sincerely good man, is facing a quandary. He doesn't see it that way, but I do. Here's the short version of the story. He's in the midst of a multi-year work assignment that's crushing him. 80-hour weeks, endless travel, and a stress level that boggles the mind. But does he enjoy the work or find meaning in it? Nope, none whatsoever. Well, then, why in the world is he subjecting himself (and his family) to this ongoing reality?

"I want to be able to give my kids ______." His tone immediately shifted from work and back to his kids. He wants to provide his kids with the good life. Material possessions, a high standard of living, and story-worthy trips. He wants his kids to have the childhood he never had. In other words, he wants to take society's idealized version of the American dream and transplant it into his kids.

After much ranting, he asked me what I thought about the topic (knowing that I have these kinds of conversations with people every day). "Your kids want presence, not presents."

I'm sorry, parents, but your kids don't give a crap about the material trappings of this world. They may say things that lead you to believe they do, but ultimately, they just want you present in their lives. Period.

As a culture, we need to start asking ourselves what's really important. Do we really want to train our children to believe that the be-all and end-all is money, stuff, and status? People's immediate reaction to that question is probably, "Of course not, idiot!" However, if those same people were to look in the mirror and ask themselves what their actions are saying (and modeling to their kids), they might be communicating a different message than desired.

I recently turned down a ridiculous financial windfall. It was an opportunity to do really cool work for a LOT of money. It was flattering. My ego kinda enjoyed it. It sounded sexy. A tiny materialistic piece of me desperately wanted to say yes. The answer was a resounding "no." Presence over presents. I can't allow myself to deviate from the mission, and one of those missions is to be a present and engaged father.

Everyone is dealing with their own realities and situations. Nothing is simple. Nothing is black-and-white. You might face financial pressures. You might feel the tension. Other considerations might be in play. Regardless of where you're at and what's on the table for you, if you're a parent, please don't believe the lie that presents are more important than presence. Presence will win every single time.

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The Minions Learned the Hard Way

Like every spring, the tornadoes are upon us here in the Midwest. When the crazy storms hit the other night, and the kids experienced their predictable freak-out, we gathered in the basement to ease their fears. I took advantage of that time by snuggling with them in the guest bedroom and watching a movie on the portable projector: Minions!

I hadn't seen that movie in ages, and as expected, it was silly. Something stood out to me, though. In the opening scene, the Minions bounced from serving one evil entity to the next. From the T-Rex, to ancient Egypt, to Napoleon. Then, while between evil masters, they found refuge in this little utopic ice den. They created a sanctuary for themselves, built beautiful shelters, and lived their lives in comfort and safety.

Then, something happened. They got depressed. Too much of a good thing became a very not good thing. Endless fun, games, relaxation, and safety lost their luster, and they literally became depressed. The narrator stated, "Without a master, they had no purpose." In their world, a master represented a boss, and through the boss, they had work. Without work, they had no purpose. They didn't need money. It wasn't a necessary evil (no pun intended). Work wasn't a means to an end. The work, in and of itself, was the meaning.

I think this is such a beautiful metaphor for what we talk about on this blog and on the podcast. Work has meaning; it matters. We weren't created to be idle, living our little lives of leisure. We were created to be productive, add value, and pursue purpose. Sure, we're probably not all called to serve evil villains, but we're called to serve someone. We're probably not called to steal the British Royal Family's Crown Jewels, but we are called to be productive in some other ways.

Leisure is great, in doses. Comfort is great, in doses. Relaxation is great, in doses. All of these things are tremendously valuable, and equally important......in doses. However, when they become THE pillars of our lives, we lose meaning and purpose.

The Minions learned the hard way, but luckily, we don't have to. Meaning and purpose can take a million different shapes, but I guarantee it looks different than the endless pursuit of leisure, comfort, and relaxation.

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An Open Postcard, Revisited

During a recent speaking event, someone in the audience asked me, "What's your origin story?" Such an intriguing question! Mere hours after that talk, I received one of those Facebook notifications about past posts "on this day." This particular post caught my eye. It was a blog post I published six years prior. In fact, it was one of the first things I ever published on my website, nearly three years before The Daily Meaning was born.

As I read that post last night, it seemed, in and of itself, the heart of my origin story. It was framed through the lens of a postcard I wrote to my then-toddler kids on the eve of resigning from my 15-year career and starting over. I was scared, excited, and queasy.....did I mention scared?!?!

As I re-read the words I wrote to my kids all those years ago, I don't think I would change a thing. I encourage you to read it, and I hope those scared words add value to you today just as I hope they someday add value to my grown kids. You can find it HERE.

Have a great day!

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Tell Me They Only Care About Money

Yesterday, on the 46th anniversary of The Miracle (USA's iconic Olympic hockey underdog victory against the Soviet Union), the American Olympic men's hockey team did it again. This time, though, it was against Canada. 46 years, another gold medal. It was a historic moment, and one I don't think I'll ever forget.

The game was a nail-biter from start to finish, culminating in a golden goal just a few minutes into overtime. In an instant, everyone in the arena was crying. The US players (and their fans) were crying tears of joy. The Canadian players (and their fans) were crying tears of sorrow. Even the NBC commentators were choking up as they were trying to put into words what this moment meant. It was pure ecstasy......and pure agony.

Here's something interesting, though. Every single player on both the US and Canadian rosters plays in the NHL, the world's most prominent hockey league. These players play with each other and against each other multiple times per week, year after year. Yet, this moment was so profoundly important to everyone on the ice.

It would be so easy to talk about how these rich professional athletes just do it for the money. Tell that to my TV yesterday. What I saw was pure emotion. Yeah, money is cool, but whether we like to admit it or not, money is far from the ultimate driver. The world might run on money, but at our core, we humans run on meaning. Watching those players yesterday, I don't think money was on their minds.

Let's talk about the money, though, as it's very, very real. After doing a little research, I found that these two teams have 50 rostered NHL players. Combined, their annual salaries (not including any sponsorships or outside income) total approximately $390 million. That means, on average, the players representing USA and Canada in yesterday's game make approximately $8 million per year.

Yet, in the postgame interview, the hero player for the US squad was crying, bleeding (from getting his front teeth knocked out), and talking about how much he loves his country.

It's so easy to point our fingers and accuse professional athletes, celebrities, and large business owners of only caring about money. I think we have it backwards. The presence of money and fame isn't the tell that they only care about money. Rather, the presence of money and fame is oftentimes the byproduct of pouring their blood, sweat, tears, and passions into something they deeply care about.....and succeeding.

I'll end with this. I think we would all be much more successful in our endeavors and pursuits if we cared as much as those 40-50 players on the ice yesterday. Yes, they are rich. Yes, they are famous. But I don't think that's what fuels them. I think they have meaning filled to the brim. That's something worth fighting for.

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The Value of a Pizza

"Dad, can we have pizza tonight?"

Ah, the common words of a nine-year-old. The boys were craving pizza last night. Since I, too, was kinda craving pizza, I wasn't about to fight the idea. "What should we get?" I asked.

Lots of ideas were tossed around, ranging from frozen pizza, to national chain to-go pizza, to local pizza shops. Ultimately, we (unsurprisingly) landed on our favorite local pizza shop. Additionally, there was one more request: "No pick-up. Let's eat there." Deal!

Pizza is one of those things that has a wide range of styles, quality, and prices. For example, we could have gotten a decent frozen pizza for $5-$7 or grabbed a national chain pizza for $10-$12. Instead, we paid $20 (plus tip) for a pizza....around $26 total. Was the local pizza 4-5x better than a frozen pizza? Was the local pizza 2.5x better than the national chain pizza? Probably not. It's pretty good pizza, don't get me wrong! We love this pizza. But 2.5-5x better than the alternatives? Not exactly.

It's not really about the pizza, though. Sure, we were there to eat a pizza. However, what we were really there for was an experience. We wanted to go to our spot, enjoy our time together, engage with the familiar staff, and create memories. We didn't pay $25 for a pizza......we paid $25 for an experience that happened to include a pizza.

We had a blast. We talked about all the fun things we did earlier in the day, and looked forward to the week ahead. It was a good time. The pizza was fantastic as well, but that wasn't the heart of the story.

Memories, experiences, adventure, and time with those we care most about. That's always worth investing in.

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God Bless, Mr. Van Der Beek

I was floored. I opened Twitter a few days ago, only to discover that James Van Der Beek had passed away after a brief battle with cancer. As a '90s kid, Van Der Beek was everywhere. From Varsity Blues to Dawson's Creek to countless appearances everywhere else, James was a fixture of the time. Every girl wanted to date him, and every guy wanted to be him. He seemed invincible.

Maybe it's because of his position in my life during those formative years, or perhaps because he's only four years older than me, but his passing has sat heavily on me these past few days. It's yet another reminder of our mortality and the fragility of life. Also, as a father, it feels like a gut punch knowing he left behind six children ranging from 4 to 15 years old.

James hasn't played a meaningful role in my life for more than 20 years, but when I learned of his cancer battle a few years ago, I started watching his content. He's a sweet, introspective, and wise man. In just a short video clip, James has the ability to cut through the noise and offer insights that seem truly valuable. Today, I want to share one clip that has stuck with me for a few years. It's only fitting that I share his words today in celebration of his life.

I'm not going to provide any context or follow-up commentary, as I think James communicates it so eloquently. HERE’S THE VIDEO CLIP…..ENJOY!

Life is short. Pursue wins that matter. Don't lose sight of what's important. Have a great day.

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Except He Didn’t Say Fudge

Remember that one time (earlier this month) I blindly clicked a link from my friend Ryan and purchased a TV without knowing anything about it? A few weeks ago, I wrote about my belief that we need to be an expert where we're an expert, acknowledge our gaps, and humbly entrust others to help us fill those gaps.

Today, I bring you an update on what happened after I purchased that mystery TV. I'll set the scene. With my purchase confirmation e-mail in hand, I walked into a local Best Buy to claim my purchase. The man behind the register politely asked me for an order number or a QR code to scan, and I quickly obliged. Beep, goes the scanner. The man behind the register paused. Was he confused? Was something wrong? Was there simply a delay in the system?

After what seemed like a minute (which was probably only 10 seconds), he became animated. "Hilly fudge! Are you crapping me? What in the fudge?!? What in the fudge!?! How in the fudge did you do this?!? Oh fudge!"

Except he didn't say fudge (in my best A Christmas Story narration voice). In fact, none of those were the words he actually used. I'll let you decode it. In any event, he was beyond excited. He asked if I could give him a minute to see if there were any similar deals still available for him to personally grab. There weren't.

Seeing that I appeared to be confused by his reaction, he asked me, "Do you know what you just got?" Nope, I didn't. "Well, how did you do this?" he asked. When I told him I just blindly clicked a link from a friend and clicked "buy," he was even more shocked.

He went on to explain that I purchased a $3,200 TV for only $750. Again, I don't really know anything about this.....I just clicked a link and drove to the store to pick it up. The next day, I had it all set up in my living room. The verdict? It's easily the best TV I've ever laid my eyes on. I actually didn't even know TVs could do this.

Will I always come out on the winning side of trusting other people to fill in my gaps? Of course not! However, more times than not, I'm going to end up in a far better place than I ever would have by trying to figure it out myself. Better yet, I don't have to spend the time, energy, or brain power to get there. All that's needed from us is to find people we trust, then trust.

I know this is a weird position to take in life, but it's a hill I'll die on. We need to focus our time, energy, and brain power on the areas we know best. Then, we delegate. We entrust others to walk alongside us and provide much-needed insights and guidance. I couldn't love that any more than I do! In the meantime, I'll be watching and re-watching all the Twenty One Pilots music videos on the new TV!

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Your Values, Not Mine

One of my clients asked me what I think about a particular decision they are making. Here's how I responded (paraphrased, as I definitely don't remember word for word):

"On a personal level, you don't want or need my opinion. We are on totally opposite sides of this decision; we couldn't be further apart from each other. However, what I think doesn't matter. This decision clearly aligns with your values and what's most important to you, and therefore, that's most important to me. It doesn't matter what I or anyone else thinks of this decision. This is your life, your journey."

The topic? They are considering buying a very, very, very, very nice house. And with that many "very"s, I'm talking about one of the nicest houses I've ever seen in my life. Considering I'm content living in this 80-year-old, one-bathroom house we currently rent, we couldn't be further apart.

This is where nuance MUST come into play. Do you know how successful I'd be walking alongside people if all I did was try to jam my values down their throats? When it comes to money and work, very few things are black-and-white. Instead, it's all different shades through different lenses. What's right for one is wrong for another. What's wise for someone is dumb for another.

This is the problem with most people's financial advice: It's portrayed through their personal lens as right and wrong. You shouldn't buy coffee. You should only buy the nicest coffee. You shouldn't go out to eat. You should only eat at fancy steakhouses. You shouldn't drive a nice car. You shouldn't drive a used car. You shouldn't travel. You shouldn't care about anything other than travel. You should, should, should, should.

Whenever we try to tell other people what to value, we've lost the plot. Instead, it should be about ideas. There are ideas, principles, practices, and habits that are proven to work well. Once we're able to digest those things, we can pursue our values through those lenses.

To my client who is considering buying a tremendously nice house, that's cool. It's not my type of cool, but it is theirs! After walking alongside them, seeing their heart, and understanding what moves their needle, it's probably the right decision for them. Context matters. It always matters.

Therefore, don't listen when other people tell you what you should or shouldn't value. They are them; you are you. We're all different. Embrace your uniqueness, and approach your work and finances accordingly.

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Blood Money

Have you ever had a decision in front of you that you knew in your heart the correct answer would result in you losing a ton of money? Here's an extreme example. You have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make $50,000 for a single day's work......but it's the day of your kid's high school graduation. $50,000 is a lot of money! But it's also your kid's graduation! Is a single one-hour ceremony really worth losing $50,000?

These are the types of scenarios I refer to as "blood money." It's money for the sake of money, even at the expense of something even more important or meaningful (perhaps our dignity). Over the course of my adult life, I've encountered maybe a dozen of these opportunities. A high-paying job/project that I should say "no" to because it would surely steal my job. A financial windfall that would come with major strings attached. Work that needed to be done at the expense of attending an important life event.

I wish I could tell you I always made the right choices in these scenarios, but unfortunately, I haven't. The pain of my regret is where I coined the term "blood money." I looked at the financial reward for x decision and felt disgusted in myself. The financial rewards I received might as well been drenched in blood. I ripped meaning from my life for the benefit of dollars. It's the antithesis of what I believe in, yet I've fallen for it more than once.

There are several families in my coaching going through similar situations. Blood money is on the table. The culturally right decision is to say yes to this money, but the consequences could be dire. What will they choose? Only time will tell. My strongest encouragement to them is to remember what their purpose is. If they are honoring that, they will (usually) make the right choices.

Always choose wisely, as everything is connected to everything.

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What a Privilege

I recently stumbled upon a quote that stopped me in my tracks:

"What a privilege to be tired from the work that you once prayed for."

I've had quite the month. I'm utterly exhausted. Some days were fun, many were a grind, and a handful excruciating. All the while, though, I kept thinking about that quote. What a privilege it is, indeed, to be tired from the work I once prayed for.

It's so easy to lose sight of how blessed we are. I'm immensely grateful for every opportunity on my plate. Nearly seven years ago, with two toddlers and Sarah locked into her stay-at-home mom role, I left my prior career, and our family took a 90% pay cut. Overnight, we went from having plenty to not having nearly enough. Every month was a struggle. The budget was cut down to about nothing, and we had to be tediously careful with every dollar spent. Month after month, we struggled to build the business and get our legs under us. Fast forward to today, and there's no other word to use than "grateful."

I'll never take for granted how this journey has played out. We've experienced the worst of the worst and the best of the best. Though I have some scars from along the way, I'm not sure I'd undo any of it if I had the chance. Instead, I think those scars will continuously help remind me what a privilege it is to be tired from the work (and life) I once prayed for.

I hope this resonates today. Have a blessed day!

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It’s Okay

Have you been on social media lately? Wow, it's a crazy world out there. If a Hollywood blockbuster apocalyptic thriller came to life and lived in the digital world, that would be today's social media environment. Every single time I open any single one of my social media apps, I'm instantly met with a barrage of unhinged humanity.

Today, I want to share a little life hack with you. Some of you already practice this, which might be where I picked up on the habit. Alright, here goes: We don't have to have an opinion about everything. Do you know how emotionally, mentally, and spiritually draining it is to have a strong opinion about each and every topic? It's exhausting!

Sure, there are events, situations, and developments in our lives that naturally elicit feelings. However, I'm not sure we humans were meant to have strong opinions about everything, especially things that are five standard deviations beyond our purview, our understanding, and our expertise. "I don't know" is a perfectly acceptable answer. In fact, I think I use the phrase "I don't know" more than any other phrase. I'd actually take it one step further. If we never admit that we "don't know," it brings into question whether we know anything.

What does this have to do with the overarching topic of this blog? Here's how. It's nearly impossible to live a meaningful life if we let ourselves be spread razor-thin by everything going on around us. Sometimes, we need to practice humility and not know something. After all, if we truly want to be masters of our crafts, our lives, our influence, and our relationships, we must not allow ourselves to be consumed by all the world has to offer (er, shoved down our throats). This isn’t me saying that we shouldn’t care what’s going on around us. I think we should care deeply. However, there’s something brutally unhealthy about having steadfast, unwavering opinions about every single thing. It can drive us into the ground.

I'll probably have a lot of opinions today, but I'm going to try to focus them on things that actually fall within my purview, influence, passions, and skillsets.

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Silver Lining to the Memory Loss

I discovered something wild yesterday while I was working in my home office. I stumbled upon a random and mysterious yellow envelope. It had been sent through the Postal Service, but I didn't recognize it. I eagerly but nervously opened it, only to discover it housed 13 handwritten cards addressed to me.

Unreal! The cards were from high school students who attended a talk I gave on December 4th. Turns out, I received this package of cards during the stretch when I was suffering cognitive function decline and short-term memory loss as a result of a neck injury. In fact, I didn't piece this together until yesterday, but I actually gave this talk the morning of the day when my cognitive function deteriorated. I remember this talk well, but I don't recall much about a family event I attended later that evening.

As I read through the cards yesterday, I couldn't help but think how this was such beautiful timing. I've had an absolutely brutal week. It was the kind of week where one can start questioning if they are actually in the right place. Is this where I belong? Am I doing the right things? Is this where I'm meant to be?

As I opened the first card and read the generous words, those doubts I had been carrying were immediately swept away. In an instant, I was jolted back to reality, a reality where I recognize I'm exactly where I'm called to be. Following meaning is a treacherous endeavor. It sometimes means turning our backs on comfort, status, material gain, and an easier path. In its place can be uncertainty, risk, pain, frustration, and heartache.

I've been on all sides of this coin: the good, the bad, and the ugly. I've experienced comfort, status, material gain, and an easier path. I've also performed a drastic 180-degree turn and ran headfirst into uncertainty, risk, pain, frustration, and heartache. I don't claim to be a know-it-all here, but I can confidently testify that despite being the hardest seven years of my life, it's been the most rewarding, fulfilling, and impactful seven years of my life. Knowing what I know now, I'd never go back to "the old way."

I hope some of you have similar stories. If so, please share them with others. In a world that pushes one way to see the world, these stories can be powerful. On the flip side, if you don't have any of these stories, perhaps now is a great time to create them. It's not supposed to be easy, but it is supposed to be rewarding.

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E

As I sit here, my brain is completely blank. I've gotten 6 hours of sleep, combined, over the past two nights. I'm absolutely fried. The tank is on E. I have so many ideas, yet at the same time, nothing is coming out. All I can seem to think about is how important sleep is and how detrimental a lack of it can be.

The word we always use is "balance." Balance, balance, balance. Everything is about balance. I used to aggressively pursue balance, but eventually, after years and years of failure, I realized balance is a myth. Balance is something that works well on paper, but terribly in real life.

Now, I can admit that getting 6 hours of sleep over two nights is never a good thing. You got me on that one. However, setting my extreme example aside, it never feels like life is balanced. Rather, it's a perpetual swinging of the pendulum from one side to the other. We're either unbalanced one way, or unbalanced the other way.

There's nothing wrong with this. In fact, I'd argue it's a healthy and normal rhythm of life. It doesn't mean we shouldn't try to maintain a healthy lifestyle; instead, it means we should simply give ourselves more grace while we try to figure it out. Every day, week, month, and season is different, and each deserves its own rhythm. We should try to embrace it for whatever it is, wherever that pendulum falls.

I'm sure my life will be perpetually unbalanced one way or another, but I hope to go easy on myself as I navigate that journey the best I can. For now, though, I'm gonna try to get some shut-eye.

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3 Men, 3 Mindsets

Today's post is inspired by a recent piece written by my great friend, Gary Hoag. If you're a longtime reader of this blog, you probably know that Gary is the inspiration and encouragement behind this blog. If you didn't know that, now you do! In either case, you should totally subscribe to Gary's daily writings.

An excerpt from Gary's recent article:

"A story is told of a visitor to London during the time of the construction of St. Paul's Cathedral, the architect of which was Sir Christopher Wren. The visitor stopped at the construction site and asked some of the workmen what they were doing. One said, 'I am working to get money to keep my family.' Another said, 'I am working here because it is the kind of work I have been trained to do.' A third man said, 'I am helping Sir Christopher Wren build a great cathedral.'"

Three different men, three different mindsets. All things being equal, I think we can assume that all three of these men were doing similar work and earning similar wages. However, they might as well have been living on different planets. Each of these men woke up in the morning, got dressed, commuted to work, and started their workday. All three of their daily routines might have also looked similar to one another.

What happened when they got to the worksite, though, is where everything changed. Sure, they were performing the same work, but the mindset behind said work changes everything.

• One man was there because work is a necessary evil.

• One man was there to put his training and skills into practice.

• One man was there to make an impact.

Three men, three mindsets.

All work matters. Your work matters! Regardless of what you're doing today, your work matters. You might make the same dollar amount regardless of your mindset (I would argue even that's up for debate), but there's no doubt which mindset will drain our tank and which mindset will satiate something deep within us. Same paycheck, drastically different experience.

We can talk all we want about our work not having to have meaning, but considering we spend half our waking hours at work, feeling meaning in our work makes a world of difference in our journey. It has the power to turn terrible into okay, okay into good, and good into great. It puts an extra pep in our step, makes the tough moments worthwhile, and juices up the wins. Regardless of what work I'm performing, I want to be more like the third man. "I am helping Sir Christopher Wren build a great cathedral."

Meaning is a choice. Apathy is a choice. Impact is a choice. Misery is a choice. Choose wisely.

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A Question From Mr. Clear

In doing some research for a potential project, I stumbled upon a Tweet yesterday afternoon. James Clear, the author of the best-selling phenomenon book, Atomic Habits, asked a profoundly meaty question:

This falls in line with my ongoing messaging about budgeting: "It's not about spending less, but rather spending better." We need to lean harder into the things that add value to our lives while simultaneously turning our backs on the things that don't. That's the recipe for finding more meaning in our money.

When I see families exhausted and frustrated by their finances, it almost always includes their unintentional spending on things that don't actually matter to them. Consequently, they don't have the resources to spend on things they actually care about. It's the ultimate emotional drain.

However, when we can be laser-focused on what actually matters to us, blocking out all the noise around us, it oftentimes feels like we got a raise. Further, life just feels better when our resources go toward valuable things. There's no worse feeling than spinning our tires by spending all our hard-earned income on stuff that doesn't move the needle in our lives.

I'll answer Mr. Clear's questions, but after I do, I challenge you to answer them for yourself.

What single expense in my life delivers the least amount of happiness per dollar spent?

• This might be an unpopular opinion in my house, but some of our streaming services. If it were up to me, we'd justhave YouTubeTV and Netflix.....that's it. However, because x show is on y platform, we subscribe to y platform. And z show is on b platform, we subscribe to b platform. In my mind, this is one of the least effective categories in our budget.

• If this is true, I should probably engage Sarah about this and see how important it is to her (and how important it is for me to push back on).

What single expense in my life delivers the most amount of happiness per dollar spent?

• Dining out, and there's not a close second. I so cherish the time our family spends dining out, whether it's a quick meal with the kids or a date night with Sarah.

• The other one I was debating was Travel, but on a dollar-for-dollar basis, dining out offers a far higher return.

• If this is true, it would argue that we should consider increasing our dining out category each month. I think we skimp on this one far too often.

Your turn.

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