The Daily Meaning
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Why Not Both?
I recently found myself in a conversation with a friend when the topic navigated to work and careers. This is one of those friends that we get to be sincerely honest with, and vice versa. In the middle of the chat, he said, “I disagree with your advice to pursue work that matters.” Intrigued by this, I asked him to elaborate. In short, he thinks I put too much emphasis on work.
Life Advice Sunday
Let’s play a little game. I’m going to give you one brilliant little piece of life advice that’s changed my life, then I’d like you to return the favor. One of you may say something that will change my life. Maybe the advice I’m about to give will also move the needle for you. There’s only one way to find out, though. You have a few different options if you choose to accept my challenge:
"Never Again!!!!!"
One of my clients just paid off a ton of credit card debt. It’s a debt they’ve had off and on for the better part of two decades. Now, after about a year of intense work and dedication, it’s gone! When I asked them how it felt to have it finally paid off, they didn’t react with excitement or enthusiasm. Instead, they looked disgusted. “Never again!!!", exclaimed the wife. It was as if years of frustration were let loose in that moment.
The Cost of Status
Do you ever ask yourself why you spend money on x thing? We often buy something because we want it, but why do we want it? It’s the reason behind the reason. It’s not atypical to have multiple reasons to buy something, needs and wants alike. Regardless, it’s important to recognize our true motives. When we do, we make better choices for better reasons. Let’s use a recent real-life example I encountered. Someone wanted to buy a truck. Here’s the breakdown:
The Great Reset
15 years ago, my life was completely upended. As I walked into the office one morning, instead of walking to my desk, I was led into a conference room where all my colleagues were sitting. It was explained to us that our company was being shut down and everyone would be fired. In that moment, I watched my intentionally-created life dissolve before my eyes. I loved my job, my co-workers were like family, I was a newer homeowner, I found a wonderful church, and I had been engaged to Sarah for just a handful of days. Oh yeah, and I had a ton of debt. Normal debt. “Good” debt. Responsible debt. Affordable debt. Except now that I was facing possible unemployment, those debt payments didn’t seem so innocent and “good” anymore.
"I'll Get the Next One"
We Americans have a problem. It’s an epidemic of the non-medical sorts. On the whole, we struggle to accept generosity from one another. Many people are quick to show generosity to others (which is awesome!), but when it comes to being on the receiving end of generosity, we avoid it like the plague. We tend to defer, deflect, and re-direct. Guilt and pride are usually at the center of our generosity denials, but there can be many reasons for it.
Some Seeds Are Hard to Water
When it comes to work, ministry, and life, I often think about the idea of planting seeds. Whatever we’re doing, we have the opportunity, responsibility, and possibility to make an impact in someone’s life. This concept is the basis of my friend Gary Hoag’s book, The Sower. I highly recommend this one, by the way! When we water seeds, we never know how they will turn out. Some will sprout, while others won’t. Some will grow small, and some will grow big. But either way, they don’t sprout right when you water them…..it takes time. All we can do is diligently water, pray, water some more, and wait.
When "Skin in the Game" is Anything But
One of my favorite topics to engage in with teens and parents alike is the idea of getting through college debt-free. As you can imagine, this can be on the controversial side of the conversational spectrum. However, it’s something I believe in deeply, and I have countless examples of clients, friends, and youth group kids successfully navigating that journey. It’s one of my favorite wins to acknowledge and celebrate.
It's (Not) Just an Exercise
Today is one of my favorite days of the year. No, not because it’s NBA playoff time (though that helps!). It’s the final session of my high school money class. During our time together, we’re going to do one of my favorite exercises, which is meant to help them understand what young adult life looks like. Until now, they have very little income, very few bills, and very little need to be fully intentional with their finances. That will surely change within the next handful of years. In the exercise, I give them a theoretical young adult monthly income, a handful of known monthly expenses, and ask them to create a full monthly budget for the life they want to live. The energy is always high, they complete the exercise with optimism, and it ends up being a referendum on their values/interests.
The Psychological Impact of Sunk Costs
I thought you deserve an update on my NBA play-in game ticket debacle. After literally everything working against me, I had two tickets to last night’s 8-seed play-in game (which cost a total of $550)…..and nobody to go with me. As the week played out, I continually debated what to do about the situation.
The Chicken and Egg of Hospitality
Yesterday, I woke up to the pleasant surprise of my friend TJ having an op-ep published in the Des Moines Register. In it, he makes a case for genuine, servant-hearted hospitality. Not service, but hospitality. This is a topic that’s near and dear to TJ’s heart. I know this because I talk to him maybe 4-6 times per week and it comes up in approximately 100% of our conversations. It’s at the core of everything he does as a business owner (and as a person, frankly).
It Will Change You
It wasn’t long ago that I struggled to create written content for this blog. For three years, I would maybe publish 1-3 posts per month. That is if I published anything at all. The most I ever published in a single month was 7 posts (which felt like a massive accomplishment). I simply didn’t have enough content or enough time to do more than 3 posts most months.
Can't Win 'Em All
On Saturday, I was struck with a brilliant idea. Ok, maybe it wasn’t brilliant……but in my head it was! The Minnesota Timberwolves were a near lock for the 9th seed in the NBA’s Western Conference, meaning they would host a home play-in game on Wednesday night. Considering this is a borderline bucket list item for me, the idea of road-tripping to this game excited me. That’s when my second brilliant idea surfaced. My buddy, Keaton, is a Minneapolis resident and a huge Timberwolves fan. It was then and there that I decided to buy fantastic seats for that game and gift my friend an awesome experience. He said he was in, I bought the tickets, and I rearranged my schedule. Investing in memories, notching off a bucket list item, and giving an awesome gift to a friend…….such a cool situation! Brilliant, right?!?!
Green Egg & Ham
I ran into my friend, Abby, yesterday and asked her about her Easter weekend. She mentioned her family had smoked ham and a ton of other food. Then, she added, “They smoked it on a green egg smoker.” This launched into an entirely different conversation, leading another person to laugh about the fact someone would make a smoker in the form of a green egg. Who does that? Why would they do that? What’s the point of doing that?
"I Did It!!!"
One of the main topics I teach in our high school money class is how it’s possible for every single person to graduate from college debt-free. Not surprisingly, this is a very controversial idea. Our culture teaches us that we are either a have or a have-not, and our student loan fate rests in which one we are. I think this toxic belief is one of the primary reasons why much of our society is crippled with a ton of student loan debt.
Not All Days Are Created Equal
Sometimes, life feels repetitive. The same rhythm, the same routine, the same responsibilities, the same drives. Even when these things align with your values and mission, the repetitiveness can make us weary at times. But not all days are created equal. Some days just stand out. Some days are different. A special event, meeting someone new, reconnecting with an old friend, starting a new project. These types of days are special, but they wouldn’t be special if it weren’t for the “normal” days. It’s kind of like a vacation. A vacation is a vacation because not every day is a vacation. If every day were a vacation, a vacation wouldn’t be a vacation. Can we make up a new term and just call it the “vacation paradox”?
The Many Shapes and Sizes of Sacrifice
On the heels of yesterday’s post, a handful of people reached out asking about the idea of sacrifice. The joy piece is simple and self-explanatory. The sacrifice piece, however, can be a bit trickier. Sacrifice looks different for everyone. For my youth group students, giving $20 may be a sacrifice. To a few of my clients, though, a $10,000 gift wouldn’t be a sacrifice at all.
It is Good
I keep wanting to introduce today’s blog by wishing everyone a “Happy Good Friday,” but that seems a bit off. It doesn’t feel good and it doesn’t seem worth celebrating……that shall come on Sunday. Today is always a tricky day for me. It feels intense, somber, and introspective.
Enjoying the Little Moments
Yesterday, while in the middle of a coaching session, the tables were turned on me. The client is a very successful business owner who is notoriously hard on herself. The conversation morphed into a discussion about how, on multiple occasions, she stopped to enjoy the little moments throughout the month. A client of hers reached a milestone. A testimonial where someone shared how much my client impacted their life. A staff member who had a breakthrough. A day when she was able to step away from the business to enjoy time with her family. Awesome little moments.
How Much Lemonade Can You Make?
I’m a big believer that good can always come from bad situations. Turning lemons into lemonade, right? But what happens when there are just too many lemons? I suppose we should keep making lemonade, but how much lemonade can you make?