Not Scary Anymore

An old friend, one I haven't seen in nearly a decade, sent me a text out of the blue: "It's not scary anymore!" My initial reaction was to brush off the seemingly errant text as a mistake. It's not scary anymore? That's a bizarre text from someone I haven't seen in a decade. Then, another text arrived.

In short, this friend said they had been listening to the podcast and reading the blog for years. One of the biggest takeaways over that time has been this weird notion that we ought to find meaning in our work. It's an oddly countercultural topic, and as I've pointed out time and time again, it's a rare state to live in.

"It's not scary anymore!" Turns out, after treating work as a necessary evil for more than 20 years, this friend finally decided work needed to play a meaningful role in his life. After much soul searching and a process to humble himself financially/materialistically, he and his wife both decided to find meaning in their work.

This culminated in both of them finding new jobs within the past year. One spouse took a massive pay cut, and the other experienced a lateral financial move. Dinner table discussions used to involve dreams and aspirations of retiring early. Today, though, it looks different. They each share stories from their meaningful work days, dreaming of what the future might hold in these respective roles.

"It's not scary anymore!" The term Sunday Scaries was all too familiar to this couple. After a long and fun weekend, both of them would regularly get crushed on Sunday afternoons by the reality of what's coming tomorrow. Oh crap, here we go again. Let's brace ourselves for another week of stress, misery, and emptiness. Week in, week out.

I received another text from him last night. "I never realized Sunday nights could be this enjoyable." So good. The Sunday Scaries have been replaced with hope, optimism, and excitement for what's to come.

This made my day. This made my week. This made my month. Heck, this made my year! We don't have to perpetually suffer the Sunday Scaries until we can find an off-ramp to retirement. Life should matter today.....not just someday. A world exists for each of us where we go to bed excited for what's to come, and pop up out of bed to get the meaningful day started. That starts with our work. Other things definitely matter, and we must have meaning outside of work, but if we're going to spend 1/2 of our waking hours at work, it starts with the work. Please allow your work to matter. Please give yourself permission to pursue work that matters.

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Screwing Up My Own Recipe

Today's post is inspired by one of our readers from Guatemala, who emailed me regarding yesterday's post. Turns out, most of us totally botched the recipe I laid out yesterday. And by most, I'm including myself. In fact, I botched it hard! So hard, in fact, that I ended up being a victim of an out-of-state involuntary relocation because my finances didn't provide the margin for me to make my own choices.

Just in case you all somehow think I'm some financial wiz kid who has always got it right, here are some of the costly decisions I made between the ages of 16 and 27 (i.e., all the ways I violated and brutalized the recipe I laid out in yesterday's post):

• I had my first car loan at age 15. Fifteen! It was a pretty sweet Camaro that I painted Carolina Blue.

• Instead of choosing any number of in-state colleges, I elected to pay 4x as much as necessary to attend an out-of-state school.

• I signed up for my first credit card one month into college, effectively delinking my income from my spending. I never carried a balance, but using a credit card no doubt had a psychological impact on my spending.

• During my second year of college, I sold my reliable, paid-off car and purchased a $19,000 Acura Integra. Very sweet car, but to this day, it's the most expensive car I've ever purchased. Think about that. The car I bought 24 years ago, with a poor college kid's income, was the most expensive car I've ever purchased. Just wow!

• I bought my first house two years after graduating from college. I felt the cultural pressure to move quickly and shoot high, and I certainly met the mark on both.

• My giving was approximately zero. And by zero, I'm not sure it ever even crossed my mind! That young Travis was selfish!

• I kept up with the Jonses the best I could. I didn't know if I would win the race, but I was sure giving it my best effort.

• I used debt for everything, all the way down to my wife's engagement ring. By the time my company shut down and I was involuntarily relocated, my debt had ballooned to $236,000.

• Meaning? What's that?!?! My goal was to make as much money as possible, enjoy said money, and invest the rest effectively so I would have even more money to enjoy later.

In other words, I lived a "normal" life and fell right into the hands of our culture's toxic perspectives. I was the epitome of our modern materialism.

There was always hope for me, and fortunately, I eventually became humble (and humbled!) enough to change. Regardless of where you are or what mistakes you've made (or still making), there's always hope for you, too! It's never too late to make meaningful shifts. A few chapters of your story have already been written, but great books aren't defined by the beginning. In fact, the best stories get progressively better as the adventure unfolds, and your story is no different. Here's to the next chapter!

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The Recipe

Okay, wise guy, Travis. What's the recipe? It's funny how the feedback rolled in from yesterday's post. Everyone 40 years old and above applauded my post, while everyone under the age of 40 cursed me. To frame it up, I wrote about a juxtaposition I experienced yesterday. While waiting for a client to join a Zoom meeting, I saw a social media video of anearly 30-something ranting about how his generation has been absolutely screwed out of a decent life. Then, two minutes later, I met with an early 30-something couple that's absolutely crushing it. What's the difference? Decisions compound. Good decisions compound our lives in a positive way, and bad decisions compound our lives in a negative way.

The biggest question I received since yesterday is what a series of good compounding decisions looks like in a real-life situation. The below sequence of events, in rough chronological order, is my idealized version of this recipe. Everyone's unique story will most certainly differ from this.

• As a teenager, learn the art of spending, saving, and giving while NOT using credit cards. 90% of us don't get this one.

• Buy that first car with cash. It's probably not going to be your dream car, but it will be an awesome experience!

• When graduating high school, carefully choose that next step. If attending college, intentionally choose a college that you can afford; NO student loan debt. Every one of us has options to attend a college or trade school without debt. This is where most Americans' negative compounding begins.

• Find a job that roughly meets the following two criteria: pays the bills and leads you closer to the field/work you're called to do. It doesn't have to be the dream job, but you also don't have to willfully sign up for 30 years of misery, either.

• Secure housing that accounts for less than 25% of your take-home pay. Creativity might be needed for this one, but success on this item unlocks so many options!

• Don’t rush to buy a house! Young adults don’t know what their life could/should look like, so an early house purchase is rarely a blessing.

• DO NOT jump to upgrade the vehicle. A workable vehicle is a workable vehicle.

• Once in a grown-up job, carve out a lifestyle conservative enough to allow for fun, saving, giving, and investing. It might not be much, but work each of those into your monthly practices.

• Learn to budget well. A well-executed budget unlocks so many doors!

• Save a healthy emergency fund (3+ months of expenses).

• Consistently increase the amount going into your investments.

• Make giving a priority.

• Find the right partner. The wrong partner will cause so much heartache and trouble. Find someone who aligns with your values.

• Find your why, and aggressively pursue it with everything you've got. Clearly defining this will enable you to intentionally plan your finances to align with this vision.

• Don't be afraid to turn your back on the normal way of doing things. Keeping up with the Joneses is a great way to end up stressed and miserable, like so many around us.

• Endeavor to stay out of debt. Outside of your primary residence, there's no reason for any of us to borrow money on anything. See, counter-cultural. This principle will change your life!

• Find meaning in all of it; the exciting and the mundane, the large and the small.

Controversial? Perhaps. Effective? Absolutely.

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Compounding Decisions

One of my clients was running late to a Zoom coaching meeting yesterday. Since I had a few minutes to burn, I decided to scroll social media. Within 30 seconds, I stumbled upon a brutal rant from an early 30-something. This man, self-identifying as a younger millennial, went scorched earth about the older generations and how they set up the younger generations for utter failure. In his words, he and everyone his age (and younger) are essentially screwed.

• Can't make enough money to survive.

• Will never buy a house.

• Can't afford to get married.

• Not enough resources to raise children.

• Zero chance of retiring.

Limited incomes, heavy debt burdens, and spiraling monthly expenses were highlighted as contributing factors to the misery. Each of these problems were somehow pinned on the older generations. I could almost hear a little baby violin playing in the background.

Here's the irony. My client, who was running a few minutes late, is the exact same age as the jaded victim from the social media post. One difference, though. This couple is absolutely crushing it! Through intentionality, consistency, humility, sacrifice, and a strong work ethic, this couple has carved out a beautiful life for their family. Make no mistake, it was no accident. This couple has had a vision for the past decade, and they've executed well. It wasn't always easy, and it was rarely sexy, but here we are.

When I spend time with this awesome couple, I'm reminded of a principle that's a universal truth in money and elsewhere: decisions compound. When we make good decisions, the implications of those decisions compound into the future. When we make poor decisions, the implications of those decisions also compound into the future.

Back to the man from the social media post. I was so fascinated by his rant that I checked out some of his other content. Sure enough, I found example after example of how his poor decisions have compounded on him. Here's a summary:

• He chose to go to a small private school to play a sport. Tuition was sky high.

• The sky-high tuition caused him to sign up for more than $100,000 in student loans.

• Immediately after college, he purchased a new car. He's since traded in for 2-3 different new cars. The negative equity rolled from each, resulting in today's car payment of nearly $1,000/month.

• In order to pay his quickly rising monthly obligations, he signed up for the first reasonably paying job he could find. He hates it, but it pays the bills....barely.

• In part because of how much he hates his work, he goes on lots of vacations. He can't always afford them, but the credit cards help him connect those dots. That's okay, though, as he'll pay them off in a few months.

• Things are increasingly tight, so it's difficult to save anything for retirement.

His decisions have compounded. Each one leads to the next. The pressure builds. If he were to ask me for advice, here's what I'd tell him: "Start making some key positive decisions. Move the needle. Let it compound. Make another. Watch it compound more. Keep fighting the good fight. Eventually, the compounding will be your best friend instead of your worst enemy."

Today's decisions will eventually compound for future you. Make sure it compounds in the direction you desire.

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Exercise the Muscle

During my 10-year stretch as a youth group leader, I taught hundreds of high school students about generosity. It was always one of my favorite topics to engage students with! In one of my favorite talks, I discussed a concept I like to call "exercising the giving muscle."

Think of it like doing the bench press. You wouldn't just walk into the gym and randomly decide to start throwing around 300-pound reps. It would kill you! Instead, you start small. Maybe it's 100 pounds, then 150 pounds. You graduate to 200 pounds, then slowly build your way up to 250 pounds. Each time you exercise those muscles, you get a bit stronger, allowing you to lift more next time.

Giving is much the same way. Inside each of us is a proverbial giving muscle, and like the bench press, we need to start slow. You probably don't wake up randomly one day thinking you're going to give a car away. Every journey of generosity has a beginning.

Early in my journey, I remember how I would constantly scan the horizon, looking for an opportunity to exercise my little baby giving muscle. One of my favorite and game-changing reps came at a local coffee shop. Sarah and I were in line at the register, waiting to order our customary Saturday morning drinks. Two women were at the counter ordering in front of us. I could tell they were tourists.....and I could tell something was wrong. After a bit of eavesdropping, I gathered that they had accidentally left their purses back at the hotel. They were frustrated with themselves, conceding they would need to run back to the hotel before getting their coffee.

"I got you," I said. They looked at me, confused. "We're going to buy your drinks. We got you." We're talking maybe ten bucks. This wasn't some heroic act.....it was just a few lattes. One of the women started tearing up, moved with emotion by our act of generosity. Reminder, it was literally only ten bucks.

That moment moved me. Through my simple act of exercising my giving muscle, I realized how even small acts of generosity have the potential to move the needle in people's lives. That was a big turning point for me. If $10 can move someone like that, what about $100? What about $1,000? What about $______?

That moment stuck with me for years, constantly reminding me that every gift matters. Every act of generosity has the potential to make an impact. My call to action with the high school students was to exercise that muscle. Buy lunch for a friend. Take a peer out for coffee. Surprise a teacher with a fun little gift. Hold the door open for a stranger. Clean the locker room after practice so the coaches or managers don't have to. Exercise that muscle!

That's a good call to action for each of us today as well. Whether big or small, find ways to exercise the giving muscle today!

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I Like I Like Car

If I had to put my finger on it, my generosity journey began 12-13 years ago, in my early 30s. While I was actively giving at that point, I wouldn't have called myself a giver. It was something I did, but not who I was. Then, due to a series of interesting events, my eyes began to open to genuine generosity; joyful and sacrificial generosity. While I don't remember all the particular moments and experiences that triggered the generosity journey within me, I do remember stumbling upon a YouTube channel called I Like Giving.

I Like Giving was a story-driven channel, focusing on profound acts of generosity. I was inspired and humbled by each of their videos. More than anything, it opened my eyes to the tremendous power of creative and out-of-the-box giving. However, there was one I Like Giving video that moved the needle deep within me. It was called I Like Car, a story of a woman who gave away all $5,000 of her saved resources to help a widow. She needed this $5,000 to buy a car, but she decided the widow needed it more than she did. What unfolded next was amazing.....check it out HERE.

Fast forward more than a decade, and I was sitting in a board meeting yesterday. The group started talking about a mutual friend of ours. This wasn't an out-of-bounds conversation, as this particular friend is intertwined with our ministry. Then, it happened. One of my colleagues referenced how our mutual friend was once a recipient of a fun gift. In fact, there's a cool video on YouTube about it. It's called I Like Car.

Me:................. (while screaming on the inside)

Wait, that random video that helped inspire my entire life more than a decade ago was about a person I now call a friend?!?! I couldn't believe it. As soon as our board meeting concluded, I opened YouTube to check for myself. Sure enough, there was my friend on the receiving end of a beautiful gift. And not only was she on the receiving end of a gift, but I, too, was on the receiving end of the same gift. That video helped transform my life in ways I cannot even describe. My friend's living example of joyful and sacrificial generosity sparked something in me that she will never know.

I know we live in a small world, but it's not every day that we realize someone in our life played a major role in our journey years before we would formally meet. Amazing!

I'm not even sure what the takeaway is today; I just needed to share that story! But since I brought it up, perhaps you should check out the video yourself. It helped shift my heart around giving all those years ago, and maybe it can do the same for you today, too!

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Rich

I recently met with a new client. Right on cue, I opened the couple's spreadsheet and prepared to cast it onto the TV affixed on the wall. As I was about to start talking, the husband interrupted. "No matter what your spreadsheet says, we're rich."

You better believe I was interested in what he had to say! He proceeded to share how amazing their life is:

• Awesome marriage

• Healthy kids

• Safe neighborhood

• Annual vacation

• Work they each enjoy

• Great friendships

• Engaged at church

In short, regardless of how much wealth or income they have, they've already made it.

Want to know my opinion? They are 100% right. They are rich. They live such a beautiful life. Sure, they'd like to handle their money better (which is why they hired me), but that's a consolation prize to the game they are actually playing. They know what matters most, and they are playing to win!

It's one of the most fun ironies about money. When we define success as more money, stuff, and status, we'll spend our best years chasing. Conversely, when we define success as more meaning, we'll naturally feel more financially successful as our material contentment grows.

They are rich. The best kind of rich. They don't need the world to define a shallow and materialistic scoreboard for them. They have a better scoreboard, and they are crushing it. The world might not see it that way, but they don't seem to care what the world thinks.

Neither should you.

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Rewriting History

What movie completely changed the way that you see the world? Have you seen any movies that fundamentally changed you? For me, there's one particular movie that messed me up in so many ways. Memento. This film was released 25 years ago and now sits at the #57 slot in IMDB's top-rated movies of all time list.

I don't want to share too much about it, as I suspect far less than half of our readers have seen it. If that's you, go watch it immediately! I just checked, and you can stream it for free on Amazon Prime. The entire concept of the movie is mind-blowing in and of itself, but at its heart is a concept that has long resonated with me: Our very human ability (and inclination) to rewrite history.

I recently spent time with a couple that is struggling. They've always struggled with finances, and money-related stress seems to be playing on repeat in their marriage. Every week, every month, every year. Stuff happens, and they can't get control of it.

Something interesting happened during the conversation. When I asked them to share what sequence of events led them to where they are today, they weaved together a peculiar story. It was a gut-wrenching story of misfortunes, unfairness, and bad breaks. Here's what makes their story peculiar to me. I knew this couple for the entirety of this 10-year stretch they were speaking about, and my recollection is much, much different than the story they shared with me. In my version of the story, each season of misfortune was triggered by a tremendously poor decision on their part. Yes, the pain and suffering they experienced aligns with my recollection, but the causes of said turmoil were a completely different story.

In my opinion, this couple rewrote their history. They didn't do it to lie or manipulate. Rather, their engineered story stems from an attempt (consciously or subconsciously) to soften the feelings of regret and resentment. It sounds wild, but I think each of us has a predisposition to do the same. It doesn't necessarily make us liars, but there's a certain risk in this behavior.

If we rewrite our history to soften our own personal responsibility, it creates the potential for us to repeat our own troubling past. When we don't face reality on reality's terms, we're apt to make the same mistakes again. When we don't force ourselves to experience the consequences of our own actions, it enables us to make more harmful decisions in the future.

This couple in front of me had a choice. They could face reality on reality's terms......or believe the rewritten history. If they continue to believe their rewritten history, there's very little chance they can overcome their behavioral and financial hurdles and end up in a good place. However, if they face reality head-on and commit to doing it differently going forward, there's no limit to the amount of beauty they can experience together.

I speak this concept as if it's easy. It's not. It's simple, but far from easy. However, some of the simplest things in the world are the most powerful. This is one of them.

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Hyperbole For the Masses

Plunged. Tumbled. Sank. Crashed. Tanked. The media has had no lack of hyperbolic words to describe what happened to the stock market on Friday. People are losing their minds! If you aren't aware, the U.S. stock market fell by approximately 2.7% on Friday. Based on the dozens of texts I've received since then, many people are anxious.

"Market Falls Off a Cliff," reads one international news outlet headline. If you're casually scrolling the web, what do you do with a headline like that? I'll tell you what many people do. They start to get scared. Is it warranted? Should people be worried? Is now a great time to be fearful?

Well, it depends on what your goals are. If your goal is to never see your account balance fall below where it is today, then yes, you should be terrified. However, if your goal is to end up in a good spot years or decades from now, no, you shouldn't be worried in the least.

One of my friends specifically asked about how badly the stock market got crushed on Friday. After all, the hyperbole used to describe those events makes it sound like doomsday. Please allow me to put it into perspective. After the market fell by 2.7% on Friday, we are down to a level that had never before been achieved since the Civil War.....until 9/11/2025. That's right. The price of the stock market today is at level that was an all-time high less than a month ago. Here, maybe this chart will serve as a clear visual:

This chart illustrates what the last five years have looked like for the U.S. stock market. That tiny little blip in the upper right-hand corner of the chart is Friday's "plunge." It's about as scary as a Halloween-themed show made for toddlers.

Will the stock market experience a far more significant decline? Probably. When will it happen? No clue. None of that is important, though. What's important is that we continue to practice the "do nothing" strategy and simply live our meaningful lives. Let the market be the market because the market is always the market. P.S., that's a good thing. We have the greatest stock market that has ever existed, and 155 years of proven data to back it up. Therefore, I love letting the market be the market because the market is always the market.

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My Collections

In yesterday's post, I confessed that I don't personally collect anything. Everyone around me seems to have collections, but my life is seemingly void of collectibles. Does that make me weird? Am I missing out? I challenged our readers to share their viewpoints and perspectives on collecting. I so much appreciate your insights.

After much consideration, it dawned on me that I do, in fact, collect things. However, instead of collecting material things like I used to when I was younger, my collections look different now. I'm not sure how I missed it so badly yesterday, but it turns out I'm indeed a collector. Here's what my collections look like:

• I collect memories.

• I collect experiences.

• I collect photos and videos.

• I collect trips.

• I collect countries visited.

• I collect food eaten.

• I collect sights seen.

• I collect first-time endeavors with my kids.

• I collect impactful moments with those whom I have the honor of serving.

I totally missed the mark yesterday when I was focused too much on the physical, and not enough on the intangible.Those things I listed above? I cherish them so much, and if I'm honest, I pursue them violently.

I recently read a study about why time seems to go faster as we age. Turns out, there's a scientific answer for it. Our brains measure time in significant events: first-time experiences, landmark moments, profound experiences, etc. When we're younger, we naturally have more of these moments in our lives. The world feels new and exciting. We're more likely to be adventurous. We have a childlike wonder.

Then, as time passes, that childlike wonder begins to fade. What once felt new and exciting starts to feel bleh. When I was a kid, I remember the astonishment I felt each time my family drove into downtown Chicago. The buildings, the lights, the sounds, the people. It was all so....intense! Today, though, it's a different experience. I took my family there a few weeks ago. This time, it was just a cool city. I still love Chicago, but the wonder has somewhat faded.

This is why it's so important for me to collect memories and experiences. The more often I approach life with a childlike wonder, the more significant events get seared into my brain. How has this panned out? The 20 years from age 18 to 38 seem like a blur, gone in the snap of a finger. On the flip side, the six years from 38 to 44, intentionally approaching life with this new mindset, have felt like two decades. I've had more monumental memories and experiences in the past six years than I did in the 20 years prior to that, combined. That's very cool to think about; that's very depressing to think about. But I'm going to focus on the cool here!

Collect memories. Collect experiences. Collect impact. The act of collecting that which is intangible is a tangible effort toward a more meaningful and enduring life. I'm not even sure if that last sentence makes sense, but upon 15 reviews, I'm gonna stick with it!

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Collecting?

A friend recently asked me what I collect. In response, I just stared at him. My brain was churning, but nothing was registering. Collecting....collecting....collecting. What do I collect? I couldn't think of anything. I don't collect anything?!?!

I used to collect baseball cards. I used to collect video games. I used to collect watches. I used to collect Chicago Bulls memorabilia. I used to collect DVDs. I used to collect CDs. Today, though, I can't think of a single thing I collect. Is that weird? It feels weird to me, but at the same time, I can't think of anything I would want to collect.

It feels odd to me that I used to collect lots of things, but now collect nothing. I have some theories on why I don't collect things anymore, but I'll save those theories for another day.

What about you? What do you collect? What moves the needle for you? Why? What does it do for you? How does it add meaning to your life? I'm genuinely fascinated by this topic. I want to learn what others are doing.....and why. I feel like i might be missing something in my own life, but I'm not sure what.

Please hit reply if you receive this blog via e-mail, or please comment below if you are reading on the website. I can't wait to learn more about this topic, and your perspectives on it.

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…..For Me

Whoa, I really stepped on a landmine with yesterday's post. I received countless e-mails and texts from people about my young friend's "irresponsible" coffee habit. To summarize, I have a young friend who recently gave up her six-times-per-week coffee shop visits. Making this sacrifice saves her $150/month, which sounds great......on the surface. Ultimately, though, she gave up one of the most important things in her life while blindly keeping a $675/month car payment that she couldn't care less about. The entire point of the piece was to suggest that we ought to thoughtfully look at our big rocks before willfully giving up smaller things that matter so much to us.

The hate came rushing in! To summarize at least a dozen people's responses to my article: Going to coffee shops is a waste of money.

That's it. Buying fancy coffee drinks at coffee shops is a terrible use of money. It's reckless, irresponsible, and foolish. There are a million better uses for that money than buying dumb coffee. That's the narrative.

Please allow me to rephrase the response I received from people: "Going to coffee shops is a waste of money.....for me."

The same can be said about countless other things:

• Golf is a waste of money......for me.

• Fancy restaurants are a waste of money.....for me.

• Hunting and fishing equipment is a waste of money.....for me.

• Sports and concert tickets are a waste of money.....for me.

• Spa treatments are a waste of money.....for me.

• Vacations are a waste of money.....for me.

• High-end fitness studios are a waste of money.....for me.

I have great news for you today. It doesn't matter what other people think you should do with your money. They have different values than you. They have different priorities than you. They have different beliefs than you. They have different standards than you.

When I look at the list of possible expenditures above, some appear awesome and some are a waste of money.....for me. If you discern the same list, you're going to have different answers.....for you. That's the beauty of pursuing meaning in our lives. It looks different for everyone. As soon as someone tries to tell you what should matter and what shouldn't, they've lost credibility to speak into your decision-making.

I don't care what expenditures you value and which ones you don't. My biggest care is that you know what's important to you, pursue it aggressively, and know what's not important to you, and avoid it just as aggressively. Whether you love or hate coffee, act accordingly. Whether you love or hate vacations, act accordingly. Whether you love or hate ____, act accordingly. That's where the rubber meets the road in finding more meaning in our money. Please don't fall for the trap of living other people's values. Your values are awesome enough.

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Don’t Miss the Big Rocks

One of my friends wants to get right with her money. She's sick of working so hard, yet feeling so little progress. She makes good money, but there never seems to be enough. She might as well be a hamster in a wheel. She's running fast, but not going far.

Here's another fact about my friend. She loves coffee! By "love," I mean it's one of her favorite things in the world. If she were to be honest, there are few things in life more enjoyable than going to her favorite coffee shop, spending time with the staff and other customers, and enjoying a good coffee drink. 

With that context in mind, here's what happened. She recently confessed to me that she stopped buying coffees. Her tone was simultaneously proud and depressed. Proud that she's able to save money on coffee, but depressed that she just sacrificed her favorite thing in the world. 

The sacrifice isn't immaterial, though. At about $6.50 per day, approximately six days per week, that's around $150/month she's now saving by not going out for coffee. Pretty cool, right? I'm sure the world will applaud her prudence and responsibility.

I have a different take, though. Yes, she's saving $150/month that can now go toward other expenses and goals. That's fantastic, but in doing so, she literally gave up one of the most valuable things in her life. That's a pretty tough sell for me.

In our conversation, I asked her a few other questions. Here's a little tidbit I found out: Her car payment is $675/month. Here's another fun fact: She doesn't give a crap about her car. It's a car. It gets her from Point A to Point B. Her decision to buy such a car stemmed from her family's insistence that she get something "reliable," and her peers' encouragement that she deserved to drive something nicer. Thus, she now spends $675/month on a car that barely moves the needle for her.

It's an interesting comparison. She gave up one of her favorite things in life to save $150/month, while at the same time, she is blindly paying $675/month for something she doesn't care about. I think she missed the mark.

Don't miss the big rocks in your life. It's so easy to point our fingers at the small, but obvious items in our lives that "we don't need." However, instead of trying to rob ourselves of the little pleasures that can add richness to our lives, perhaps we need to look for the bigger rocks; the larger but less obvious expenditures that significantly move the needle. Most of us have them......several of them.

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The Financial Paradox

I received a message from a blog reader the other day. In fairness, this person is also a trusted friend who has earned the right to be brutally honest with me. Here's what he said:

"For stressing the importance of meaning over money, you sure do talk about money a lot."

Ouch! While I could have taken offense to this, I think it brings up an important idea. There's a fun little paradox when it comes to this idea of focusing on the meaning by focusing on our finances.

When we don't properly address our finances and instead try to simply enjoy life, we find ourselves stressed out about money and feeling the weight of our financial pressures. Alternatively, when we spend time and energy intentionally handling our finances, it's much easier to live a life with materially less financial stress, without the weight of financial pressures.

In other words, when we spend adequate time and energy on getting our money right, we don't actually have to think nearly as much about money. See the paradox? When it comes to my own finances, I probably spend 15 minutes per week on finances. I allocate my transactions in my budgeting app, pay a handful of bills, and transfer some money. Once per month, I'll spend 10 minutes creating the following month's budget, then Sarah and I spend 5-10 minutes discussing/negotiating it. Then, probably around the 20th of the month, Sarah and I will talk for another 10 minutes to ensure we're not getting too far ahead of any given category. That's it, probably less than two hours per month.

Then, during the other 718 hours per month, we try to enjoy a meaningful life. We don't focus on the money so that we can obsess about the money. Rather, we focus on the money so that we don't have to dwell on the money.

No, we shouldn't constantly obsess about our money. At the same time, though, it's critical that we spend enough time getting our money right so that it doesn't have to be the frustrating elephant in the room for those other 718 hours.

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A Lesson From 10-Years-Ago Mr. Beast

Mr. Beast. He's the #1 YouTuber of all time. With 443 million subscribers, nobody has dominated the platform quite like him. He's a billionaire and a household name worldwide. Love him or hate him, people cannot deny the influence he's had over the past several years.

I don't regularly consume his content, but the video he posted yesterday quickly grabbed my attention. It's a video he recorded, uploaded, and scheduled 10 YEARS AGO. That's right. A video was published that had been in the YouTube queue for a decade. Here it is, in case you're interested in watching the three-minute clip.

I'm enthralled by this video, but for a different sort of reason. In it, he states that as of the time of recording, he had 8,000 subscribers. He's oozing with confidence, but at the same time, the appearance of so much doubt. He goes on record stating that if he doesn't have at least one million subscribers by the time this video is published, he will have failed. That's a pretty audacious goal, but in hindsight, it's funny (reminder: 443 million subscribers and the biggest YouTuber of all time). But I continue to be struck by the doubt in his voice.

It doesn't have to be one or the other. The majority of the most successful people I know possess both confidence and doubt. They are confident in the vision and their ability to execute, but at the same time, doubt is always on the mind. The fear of failure, impostor syndrome, and a lingering feeling that they are moving beyond their abilities.

I'm not going to self-label myself a success, but I can testify to having these very feelings. I wake up each day oozing with confidence about what I'm about to do, but at the same time, a constant and varying feeling of inadequacy. Can you relate?

I don't think we have to choose one or the other. In fact, I think the combination of both is healthy. If all we have is confidence, we can become arrogant, uncoachable, and stuck in our ways. If all we have is doubt, we hinder our ability to execute on the vision and are more likely to give up in the presence of challenges.

I hope you have a ton of confidence with your mission......but do so with humility and a coachable heart.

It's okay to have doubts, but take the appropriate steps to walk with confidence while you progress down the path.

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At 4PM

Where will you be at 4PM today? Not physically, but mentally, emotionally. What will be going through your mind when the bell strikes four? Studies show that 4PM on Sunday afternoons is the most depressing hour of the week. Why? The weekend has largely come to a close, and now our attention has shifted to what's ahead.....and what's ahead is work tomorrow. And considering 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, by 4PM on Sunday afternoons, most people enter what's referred to as the Sunday Scaries.

Have you ever had the Sunday Scaries? I know I have! Based on the data, there's a high likelihood that more than half the people reading this know exactly what I'm talking about!

What about you, today? Will you be feeling the Sunday Scaries later today? Some of you already know the answer is "yes." If that's you, I have good news and bad news.

First, the good news. A different reality exists! Each of us has the power to choose a path that doesn't involve the Sunday Scaries. In fact, there's a reality where Sunday nights become one of the best nights of the week! It can be a chance to reflect on the fun weekend that was, while simultaneously getting excited for the good work that's to come.

Now, the bad news. Living a Sunday Scaries-free life doesn't happen by accident. We can't luck ourselves into it. It won't just automatically click. Removing the Sunday Scaries requires each of us to be intentional, taking specific steps to change our course. It often requires us to abandon comfort in pursuit of something grossly uncomfortable. The fear of the unknown is almost always scarier than our own sucky reality. However, what if I told you that the unknown you're so scared of can actually be oh so awesome?

I'm so unbelievably excited for Monday. By 4PM today, I will be increasingly pumped for the work I'm about to do this week. I can't tell you I've always lived in this reality, and I can't tell you it was easy to move into this new reality, but I will tell you that it was worth it every single bit.

Set an alarm on your phone for 4PM today. When it goes off, ask yourself how you're feeling. Take that answer for whatever it's worth.

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In a Snap

I have a story you've probably never heard. It's a story that took place more than eight years ago, but at the same time, it might as well have been eight days ago. It's a story that rocked me to the core then, and its implications still linger today.

After adopting our two little men (we brought them home on their one-month birthday), we knew we wanted to become parents again. We felt it in our souls. It wasn't a matter of if, but when. After the boys' first birthday, we decided to fire up the adoption process once again.

As our boys approached the 18-month-old mark, we found out we would soon be blessed with twin baby girls. We were ecstatic in ways I could never even express in words. In so many ways, this was the ultimate answer to our prayers.

Then, it happened. After a sequence of truly tragic events, we lost our daughters. To say we were gutted would be the understatement of a lifetime. At the same time, though, we still needed to love and parent those cute little boys at home. It was the loneliest and most numbing island either of us had ever been on. Mourning a tragic loss while also trying to be grateful for what God has already blessed us with. It felt like a paradoxical whipsaw.

In a snap, our lives changed forever. We were so broken by what happened that we closed the door on future children. I've since come to terms with all that happened, and I'm truly grateful for my two little men. Being their dad is one of the greatest joys of my life.

It's crazy how much life can change in a snap! One minute our world looks a certain way, then BOOM, it will never be the same again. These thoughts are always on my mind when I'm meeting with coaching clients. It's one thing to manage our life, work, and finances under the assumption that life is one way, but does our plan work if life changes in a snap?

This is where so many people get burned. Their lives are engineered for things to work so long as their reality remains similar to what it is today. What about the snap!?!? What will we do if our lives change in a snap? Can we navigate the choppy waters? Will we be able to pivot? Do we have the margin necessary to keep the proverbial train on the tracks?

I don't share my little sob story to garner pity. Rather, I want to illustrate that life can (and does) change in a snap. My biggest encouragement for you today is to prepare your lives for the snap. Where do you need to create margin? Where is your life currently too rigid and in need of flexibility? What shifts would you be able to make if everything blows up in your face?

I hope your life significantly lacks these negative in-a-snap moments, but let's not bank on it.

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As Simple As a Name

A few years back, one of my clients had a big, big dream. It was the type of dream that practically everyone in his life (but for his wife and me) told him was "stupid." It was "reckless," "irresponsible," and "selfish." In other words, he had a pretty awesome dream!

Like many people who pursue crazy dreams, it can be tremendously scary to walk away from a decent income and start over at something much lower. In this particular family's case, they would soon experience a 70% decrease in their monthly take-home income. Therefore, we needed to make a plan!

For each of the nine months leading up to the scary transition, the couple would set aside a chunk of cash in their emergency fund. After bulking up this fund, they would then be able to take monthly draws from it, as needed, to supplement their monthly income in the early stages of their new scary life.

One problem: the mere idea of drawing down their emergency fund felt terrible. As the husband put it, "I'll feel like I'm failing.....an emergency. I don't want my life to feel like an emergency." Even though that's what the money was supposed to be used for, he couldn't emotionally or mentally get over the idea of drawing down on his bulked-up emergency fund to feed his family.

Therefore, I suggested something ridiculous. "Change the name of the account." That's why they pay me the big bucks (haha!). They thought it was a stupid idea, but the conversation continued. If they are setting money aside for this very purpose, then drawing these funds as needed is the fulfillment of the dream. It's not a failure, but rather the realization of the dream! Therefore, I suggested they change the name of that account from "Emergency Fund" to "The Dream Fund."

While ridiculous, it's exactly what they needed. It completely flipped the switch from a behavioral science perspective. Instead of viewing the depletion of that account as a loss, they experienced it as the planned execution of the greatest adventure of their lives.

Fast forward to today, and they no longer have The Dream Fund. They made it to the other side of their scary transition, and instead of having a dream fund, they are living their best dream life. It hasn't been easy, but it's been one of the most meaningful endeavors they've ever experienced.

I'm so proud of them, and I love thinking about their story. Sometimes, it's as simple as a name. We humans are weird beings. We tell ourselves stories and twist around our own thoughts. We get in our own way and sabotage our own best interests. On the flip side, if we can hack our own behavioral quirks, we can get to the other side of a truly amazing life. Yes, it's ridiculous. But also, yes, it's awesome.

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Everything and Nothing

I was casually reviewing the finances of a young couple a few weeks ago; all normal stuff. Item by item, we checked off my list. Then, we got to savings. "How much do you have in savings?"

"We have $25,000 in our savings account."

"What is that account used for?"

"It's used for everything. We just throw money in it whenever we have extra, and that savings account is used for everything."

"By everything, do you mean nothing?"

***Uncomfortable laughter arose from both spouses.***

I want to share a massive behavioral science hack when it comes to saving. If you just blindly and arbitrarily dump money into a savings account that's intended for everything, it's actually used for nothing. Why? Because when something is for everything, then every penny spent on something is another penny that can't be spent on something else. We become paralyzed; everything becomes nothing.

The natural next step is that we simply become hoarders. If our savings account is for everything, then there's no amount of money that's enough. After all, everything is a lot of money.....infinite money. Thus, we simply hoard.

Then, if we're hoarding money into an "everything" savings account, there's a series of opportunity costs:

• We don't actually save for our future needs in life.

• We feel guilty for spending money on wants.

• We don't get around to investing for our future.

• We don't even get close to opening up our generosity.

Everything stalls at the blind saving.

Here's my suggestion. Open a series of savings accounts. Name them. Give each a purpose. Needs savings. Wants savings. Then, in your monthly budget, specifically allocate money to them. Actually fund them. If you say you're going to save $500 in your Travel Fund savings account this month, move $500 into your savings account this month.

Once that happens, it's technically already been spent: travel. Therefore, there's no doubt what that money is to be used for. It's sitting in a dedicated savings account specifically for you to enjoy on a trip. No guilt. No second-guessing. No doubts. It's already been saved. Now, enjoy! The same goes for every other category. Be specific. Be intentional. Don't psych yourself out. Honor the promises you made to yourself.

This one little hack can transform our relationship with money. I encourage you to give it a shot!

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The Benefit of Hindsight

I received several angry messages from buddies regarding my recent post about why we shouldn't time the stock market. These buddies, of course, are "investing experts." They are mirror images of the man I covered in the previous post. They believe what he believes and acts as he acts. Here's what one of them said (excluding the expletives):

"You can't invest today in good faith. The &%$#@!& market is far too expensive. Every dollar you put in is begging to be lost. Stop giving your readers &@$#% advice!"

I present to you Exhibit A:

This is a graph of the U.S. stock market (S&P 500) since 1/1/2000. As 2000 unfolded (far left side of the graph), due to the tech bubble, the stock market hit unprecedented levels of "too expensive." The market was clearly overvalued, and experts warned that it was too high to justifiably invest.

Do you see where this is going? Yeah, while the market felt a bit rich in 2000, with the benefit of hindsight, it now looks cheap. In fact, today, the stock market is 4.4x higher than it was at the peak of "too expensive" in August 2000.

It's not all roses and sunshine, though. What you'll see if you look close enough at this graph are the following rough patches:

• 46% loss after all-time high in August 2000

• 54% loss after all-time high in October 2007 (second-worst crash in history)

• 32% loss after all-time high in January 2020

• 25% loss after all-time high in December 2021

• 20% loss after all-time high in January 2025

And today, after the stock market hit a new all-time high in September 2025, we're back in the same position. Will we get our butts kicked again? Absolutely! However, with the benefit of hindsight, today's all-time high will eventually look cheap.

I say it over and over again, but please don't let the naysayers (or "experts") scare you into fear-based decisions. History always has a way of taking care of itself.....eventually. The benefit of hindsight will soon prove your patience right.

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