100% Ours

Tempers were flaring, f-bombs were tossed like hand grenades, and the occasional tears arose. This was the scene of a recent sit-down I had with a struggling couple. The subject matter: the income differential between the two spouses. More specifically, how the couple makes financial decisions given their income differential.

Here's the high-level summary of the situation:

• Husband makes 70% of the income, and the wife makes 30%.

• The husband handles the day-to-day finances.

• The husband's income pays for the family's needs, and the wife's income pays for the wants (travel, dining out, entertainment, etc.).

• The husband spends anything he wants, but gives his wife "an allowance." After all, she only makes 30% of the family's income.....so this is generous (his words, not mine).

• Every time there's an argument, the husband throws out the trump card: "I make more than twice as much as you, so I get to make the call."

As the conversation unfolded, the husband realized I must have had a look of disgust on my face at the words coming out of his mouth. He seemed surprised. After all, he knew that I was the breadwinner in my marriage. As such, I would naturally align with him, right?

By my records, I made 98.5% of our family's income in 2025. Translation: My marriage is far more unbalanced than his. With that context in mind, I explained to them (mostly him) that their way of handling finances is beyond toxic. They are keeping score with money and using it as a weapon. Further, their dumb idea of allocating her income to wants meant that if she ever wanted to take a different job or stay at home, she would be solely responsible for ripping all enjoyment and adventure from the family. Gross.

I may make 98.5% of my family's income, but our income is 100% "ours." Not mine. Not mostly mine. Ours. Everything Sarah and I make is viewed as a collective pot for us to manage together. Yes, I do the day-to-day finances. Yes, I createthe first draft of the monthly budget. Yes, I have more financial expertise than her. However, she ALWAYS has a 50/50 say in all we do. In fact, early in my marriage, I promised myself that I would never get more monthly personal spending money than she does. She would always get the same as me....or more on some occasions.

Something powerful happens when couples view money as a collective pot. It allows a full integration of life and decision-making. This income isn't for this, and that income isn't for that. It's just money in and money out. We're both called to different work in our lives, and in this season, my work provides 98.5% of our income. That doesn't make her less valuable or less impactful. It just means my work pays more. Sarah is impacting the world in different ways; important ways.

Whatever income dynamic you have in your marriage, I strongly (STRONGLY!!!) encourage you to adopt a "100% ours" mentality. You're a team, not a competition. Be in this together, side by side.

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“Mom, Can You Take Me To Wal-Mart?”

Finn steps into Sarah's SUV after a long day of 3rd-grade life. He heaves his bookbag over his shoulder, then slings his coat. It's finally time for him to relax, grab a snack, and do his typical Finny things. This day, though, he requested a detour: "Mom, can you take me to Wal-Mart?"

As you can imagine, Sarah was quite confused by this out-of-nowhere request. Naturally, she asked him why. "Because I want to buy you a birthday gift with my money."

Wow. Just wow. After Sarah squeegied her melted heart off the floor, she happily obliged. As they roamed the aisles of Wal-Mart, Finn made sure Sarah maintained a healthy distance (so as not to spoil her surprise). He took his time, weighed his options, and then eventually made his selection.

Now, the even more adult part: making the purchase. With Sarah still removed from the scene, Finn approached the check-out line in what must have resembled the grocery store scene from Home Alone. Finn pulled out his wallet, inserted his debit card, and entered the PIN he had spent much time memorizing. Boom! Little Finn had completed his mission!

It wasn't until 24 hours later that the rest of the family learned what he spent his hard-earned money on:

Well done, Finny, well done! He's not always a little gentleman, but when he does, he gentlemans well.

Parents, keep having discussions with your kids about money. Working, spending, saving, and giving. All of it matters. It will rarely go exactly the way you hope it will, but in the long run, you'll see little glimmers of promise. That pretty little necklace Finn bought for his mom is one of those glimmers. He worked hard, earned money, managed it well, enjoyed some wants for himself, and used some to buy his mom a present. Proud of that little dude.

Keep going. Don't give up. This next generation is counting on us to prepare them to leave the world better than they found it. Let's teach them well and lead by example.

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A Nasty Coke Habit

One of my friends recently threw an interesting question at me. He has a Coke habit. No, not kind of coke…..he has the Coca-Cola variety of habit. Every single workday, he buys a bottle of Coke from the vending machine when he gets to work. $2.50/bottle. This habit drives his wife nuts. First, why does he need a bottle of Coke every day?!?! Second, if he's going to buy a bottle of Coke, why does he need to buy it from a vending machine?!?!

I'm going to set aside any health-related considerations and focus solely on the economic/behavioral factors. Why does he need a Coke each day? Well, why do I drink a cup of black coffee every day? Why does my buddy Evan eat a little cup of yogurt (with chocolate chips) each day? Why does my son Finn eat popcorn every day after school? Because some habits help us create an enjoyable rhythm to life. A familiarity. A comfort. None of these things are needs; they are wants. For me, there's nothing more enjoyable than savoring a steaming mug of black coffee shortly after I wake up. It's a staple habit of my day. Regardless of the cost, this small, repeatable habit adds significant value to my life. My friend's bottle of Coke falls into that same camp. It gives him something to look forward to. 

But what about the vending machine? Why wouldn't he just buy a case of bottles at Costco, then bring one to work each day? After all, that would make a lot more economic sense. He couldn't justify himself (to the ire of his wife), but I immediately spotted it. The ritual of buying his drink means way more than he realizes. The walk to the machine, the conversation he has with his friend while at the machine, the sound of clicking quarters, watching the bottle tumble down to the chute, and extracting the ice-cold bottle from the little door. Further, this little ritual isn't simply a ritual; it's a trigger. The moment he practices his ritual is a proverbial switch flipping in him. That's the moment he shifts from his personal self to his professional self. It's game time! He's ready to tackle the day.

Without realizing it, he long ago established a trigger that lets him turn on the engine. He's amazing at his job, and I would argue that this practice has played a positive role in his journey. By my math, he spends north of $600/year on this "dumb habit," as his wife refers to it. In my opinion, though, it might be one of the best financial investments in his life. A simple joy, a tangible trigger, a moment of normalcy. I'm not a pop drinker, but I think it's pretty dang cool. 

I have a few similar habits in my life, and perhaps you do, too. Whatever they are, I encourage you to not unfairly judge them as "wastes" or "irresponsible." Each of us needs to find a rhythm that allows us to experience normalcy, meet a simple want, and act as a trigger to something even more important in the journey. 

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Grocery Carts and Little Signals

Several years ago, I ran into a colleague at the grocery store check-out line. This colleague was well known in the community as a generous person. This struck me as odd, as my gut feeling toward him was that he was a complete jerk. Perhaps I was being too judgmental.

A few minutes after our brief encounter, I walked out of the store and into the parking lot. Though there were many cars, it felt quiet out there. As I approached my car, I realized my colleague was parked directly beside my car. When he pulled away, I discovered that he left his grocery cart immediately behind my car! There was a grocery cart return station 20 feet from our cars, but he decided to just haphazardly disregard his cart out in the open?!?!

Ever since that day, I've thought a lot about how people handle themselves with grocery carts. In my mind, a person's decision in that moment can be an interesting glimpse into their character. How we treat people and the world around us when nobody is looking is telling.

Since that original grocery cart incident, my obsession with watching people's grocery cart decisions has sparked so many new stories. After nearly 10 years of thinking too much about this topic, I can confidently say that people who haphazardly disregard grocery carts make terrible friends. Conversely, you know who I love to spend time with? The people who not only return carts to the return station, but also slide the cart all the way into the preceding cart, thereby making the worker's job that much easier. Those people are the best!

In a world with so much noise, I think it's important to pick up on the little signals of life. It's easy to put on a loving face when the lights are shining and people are looking, but how do we treat others when there's no attention to be gained or reputation to protect? Those are the moments that tell us everything we need to know.

I don't know about you, but engaging with people behind the scenes, in life's smallest moments, is one of my favorite things in the world. I love how, after I interact with someone, my kids ask, "Do you know that person?!?!" No, bud, we should just be loving to everyone, whether we know them or not. Those are my moments. That's when I feel most alive and most capable of moving the needle in my day-to-day life.

Today's takeaways:

• Love people well.....especially when no one's watching.

• Find meaning in the small moments.

• Spot the little signals that tell you about someone's character.

• Put your shopping cart away.

• Don't hang out with people who don't.

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Blind Spots, In Action

Yesterday's post was on the spicier side, not because of my words, but because of the overarching subject matter. Several of my friends reached out yesterday (in love) to suggest I stay clear of these types of topics and instead keep my focus on my core mission. If you stuck with me and you're back today, I hope you'll see how it all fits together.

"Our blind spots are killing us. They are killing our relationships, our personal growth, and our success." Those were some of my parting words in yesterday's post. Despite clear evidence right in front of us, we humans tend to see only what we want to see.

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Many years ago, one of my young friends was struggling to land a good job. He was extraordinarily bright, charming, and driven. In his words, he was "overqualified" for all the jobs he was applying for, thus resulting in him being repeatedly turned down for job opportunities. In a fun little twist of circumstances, my team was hiring, and I thought he might be a good fit. I invited him to apply, and he eagerly obliged.

The interview was a disaster. While he was, in fact, a bright, charming, and driven young man, he came across as arrogant, condescending, and entitled. He presented himself as a know-it-all, made terrible eye contact, and overall, lacked professionalism.

Needless to say, he didn't get hired. The entire situation was a dumpster fire. On the heels of this debacle, he again lamented to me about how he's simply too "overqualified" for most jobs, and he's a victim of his elevated abilities. When I shared some feedback from the interview process, he immediately dismissed me, seeing only what he wanted to see. If he could overcome his blind spots, he would have easily been able to develop his interview skills, allowing his true giftedness an opportunity to flourish.

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In the past few years, I've met with countless young couples who are struggling with their finances. As we work through the numbers and their personal financial situations, they offer their perspective on what's happening: "The Boomers have ruined our economy, and it's nearly impossible for our generation to succeed. The entire system is stacked against us, and nobody gives a s#$t." The exact words of one of these disgruntled people.

Translation: they are victims of overarching systemic issues. Inflation, high housing prices, a tough job market, stagnant wages.....the list goes on. While I'm not arguing that these things do or don't exist, I think there's more to the story.

Here's what I uncovered. Their financial lives were comprised of a series of terrible and destructive decisions. They've structured their lives in such a way that they constantly back themselves into financial corners. However, since they only see what they want to see, they are blind (and defiant) to these dynamics. If they could overcome their blind spots, they could easily gain control of their finances and set themselves free from the misery that's been bestowed upon them.

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Lastly, I'll share the story of Sam. Like millions of Americans, Sam is in tens of thousands of dollars of consumer debt...$59,000 to be exact. Credit cards, car loans, student loans. Everything he's been told his whole life indicates he's screwed, and there's no way out. A debt-filled life is inevitable. I walked him through a simple but effective process that would free him from all this debt within 24 hours. "Impossible!" The black-and-white numbers said it was doable, but he saw only evidence of the doomed nature of his life. If he could overcome his blind spots, he could transform his life.

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These blind spots are so very real. They aren't just costing us dollars and cents; they are costing us our freedom, our dreams, our callings, and our meaning. Please don't allow your blind spots rob you of what could otherwise be something truly special.

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Massive Blind Spots

Before I dive in, I need to clarify one thing. This post is NOT political. In fact, my goal is for you not to know which side of the fence I sit on by the time you finish this piece. Please remember this as you continue.

By now, most people have probably heard about and watched the video footage from the horrific incident that took place last week in Minneapolis. Just to be clear, what I'm talking about is a situation where an ICE agent shot and killed a woman in a vehicle. Regardless of your leanings, this incident was tragic. Many lives have and will be ruined as a result of this event.

Once again, this is another story that has ripped the country in half. Anger, resentment, vengeance, and all sorts of negative feelings are stirring all around us. Immediately after the story broke, people made up their minds about the "truth." Without knowing anything, people already knew what happened......and coincidentally, the "truth" about what happened aligns perfectly with their prevailing beliefs.

In the following days, more information and video footage of the event surfaced. All this new information filled in the gaps and provided more clarity on the truth. Something interesting happened, though. Despite having even more information, people were as split as ever about the "truth." One person could watch all the video footage and conclude one "truth," and another person could watch all the video footage and conclude a completely different "truth." To one person, the footage proves the shooting victim was 100% innocent, and it's an open-and-shut case of corrupt and evil law enforcement. To another person, the very same footgate proves the law enforcement agent was 100% innocent, and it's an open-and-shut case of the natural consequences of domestic terrorism.

How can we all watch the exact same video footage and reach polar-opposite verdicts? Because we humans ultimately see what we want to see. If we want to see corrupt law enforcement, we'll see corrupt law enforcement. If we want to see domestic terrorism, we'll see domestic terrorism. We'll absorb the facts and details that support our already-held beliefs while disregarding, dismissing, or minimizing the facts that may be contrary to what we want to believe.

I shared this idea with a handful of friends over the past few days. Every single person, without fail, explained to me that I was wrong and tried to convince me that their perspective was the absolute "truth"......and these were people on polar opposite sides from each other. See the irony here?

Life is full of nuance. If all we do is look for the facts to support what we already want to be true (which, again, is a subconscious phenomenon), we're doomed. We're doomed on a relational level, we're doomed on a personal growth level, and we're doomed on a success level. Our blind spots will crush us, either drip by drip or quite violently.

I certainly don't always get this right, but man, I try to be aware. Very few things in life are 100%/0%….the truth typically lives somewhere in the middle. We all have massive blind spots. I encourage you to find yours, and in the meantime, I'll continue seeking mine.

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Got a Secret to Tell Ya

Today is your lucky day, as I got a secret to tell ya. Ready for it? Okay, here goes. You know all the people in your life who look wealthy? They probably aren't. In fact, most people who look wealthy are far from it. I've worked with hundreds of families over the years, and this is a common and predictable theme.

They might have a lifestyle that suggests they are wealthy, but, in a fun twist of irony, these perceptions they create are among the factors that keep them from actually being wealthy. Cars, houses, clothes, trips, toys, technology, clubs....each of these externally facing expenditures puts pressure on finances (never mind the debt). Translation: In an attempt to look wealthy, people often sabotage the finances that might lead them to actually become wealthy.

I have a bonus secret for you! You know all the people around you who are just living normal underwhelming lives? A good chunk of those families are actually wealthy. They don't care what you, me, or anyone else thinks of them. They don't need to show off. They don't need to portray a certain image. They simply take care of their business and keep their heads down. These also happen to be the most generous people, too, as they don't feel the need to selfishly spend all the money on themselves.

Next time you see one of your friends, family, co-workers, or neighbors and think to yourself, "man, I wish I were as wealthy as they are," you might already be. You might think you want their financial life, but if you were to see what's on the other side of that curtain, it might make you grateful for the life you do have.

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Under Our Noses

Do you ever feel like you don't have much, if any, financial margin in your month-to-month life? I've felt that way at times, and I regularly meet people who believe the same.

I could tell countless stories about this idea, but instead, I'll share one specific encounter I recently had that perfectly sums up today's point. Here's the context:

• Husband and wife, both late 30s.

• Three young children.

• Monthly take-home income of around $9,000.

• They have a mortgage and one medium-sized car loan.

• Constant frustration and tension in the marriage since there isn't margin to do the things they really care about.

We spent about an hour going through their budget. Sure enough, there really isn't any margin once everything is accounted for. Or is there?

What I often find is that even when people don't believe they have margin, they actually do have margin right under their noses. It's sneaky. Category by category, I whiteboarded all the components of margin I saw in their financial life.

• $800 worth of dining out each month.

• $175 worth of streaming services each month.

• $500 worth of combined personal spending each month.

• $500-$750 worth of travel each month.

So while finances feel tight and there doesn't appear to be margin, they DO have margin. However, they've just chosen (whether consciously or subconsciously) to use that margin to fill the above-referenced categories. In total, they had approximately $2,200/month of actual margin.

My challenge to them was to look in the mirror and sincerely ask themselves what they wanted to do with that margin. It's okay to do what they are already doing, but it's not okay to whine about it and feel like a victim. If they are a victim of anything, it's of their own choices. Therefore, let's make sure we're making rock-solid choices.

I didn't share this with them to guilt them or embarrass them. Rather, I wanted them to see just how truly blessed they are. Second, I wanted them to embrace this opportunity to add the most value to their lives.

After multiple conversations, they reoriented where some of their monthly cashflow was going. This month, they don't feel nearly as stressed. They don't feel like victims. They don't feel like they are on the outside of their dreams, looking in. They recognize the margin they do have, and they are embracing the opportunity to harness it well. Beautiful!

It's a fantastic exercise. I encourage you to try it for yourself!

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The “Normal” Way

Things are done a certain way. In nearly every area of our lives, there's a "normal" way to do something. Is it the right way? Is it the best way? Is it the most beneficial way? Doesn't matter! It's the normal way, and that's all that matters. Get in line, stay in line, and don't rock the boat!

This is a concept we often talk about at Northern Vessel. We ask ourselves what the "normal" way is, then obsessively explore if there's a better way. In many circumstances, this has drawn much criticism (and sometimes hate). However, bucking "normal" can also be the gateway to something much, much better.

We put that idea to the test again this week as we try to re-imagine what a coffee shop drink experience could and should be. We've been in the lab drumming up something truly weird and (possibly) exceptional, and we'll be testing it at a bigger scale soon. Nobody's seen this yet, so I thought I'd give you a little peek:

A coffee shop iced beverage served in a can. You order your drink, the barista handcrafts it in front of you, and it's served in a sealed can. Want to drink it immediately? Simply pop the top and enjoy (with or without a straw). Want to enjoy it during an upcoming meeting? Toss it in your bag or purse and pop the top once you get to your destination. So simple, so effective, so not "normal." Is this a great idea? I’m not sure, but I suspect we’ll find out soon.

So many things in our lives fall into this bucket. The way we approach our careers. The way we handle our finances each month. The way we perceive generosity. The way we invest. The way we engage (or don't) with debt. There's the "normal" way, then there's the, in my strong die-on-the-hill opinion, a better way. A simpler, more effective, not so "normal" way.

A few years ago, I met with a young lady who was struggling in her career. The "normal" path wasn't satisfying her. She was doing everything she was taught to do when navigating a career, but it felt empty. She confessed to me her real dream. It was a weird dream. Then, she added, "But that's not how we're supposed to do things."

"Who cares!?!?" I asked her. It's her journey, and she's the only one who would ultimately eat the consequences of her actions (for better or worse). I told her that while her dream was in fact "not normal," that's exactly why she should pursue it. And pursue it she did! She's now more than two years into a very non-traditional career path, and she's loving every moment of the wild ride. It's not easy, and it's most certainly not always fun, but it's the most rewarding adventure she's ever been on. This only happened because she was willing to challenge the "normal" way.

You do countless things because it's the "normal" way. Which ones do you need to look more closely at to determine if there's actually a better way?

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Here’s My Prediction

"What's the stock market gonna do this year?"

One of my friends asked me to look into my crystal ball and let him know what he can expect from his stock market investments in 2026. Here is my prediction: Somewhere between -40% and +40%.

He rolled his eyes at me, pointing out that that doesn't sound like an expert answer. Great observation, as any "expert" who claims to know what to expect is a fool, not an expert.

The market was supposed to get crushed in 2020 after COVID reared its head: it ended the year +18%.

The market was supposed to have a bad year in 2021 on the heels of an inflated 2020: It ended the year +28%.

The market performed as expected in 2022: it ended the year -18%.

The market was supposed to have a tough year in 2023: it ended the year +26%.

The market was supposed to have an even tougher year in 2024: it ended the year +25%.

The market was supposed to be devastated in 2025 (which seemed to be evidenced by the early 20% tariff-driven "collapse"): it ended the year +18%.

In theory, the market will get crushed in 2026. In practice? I guess somewhere between -40% and +40%. More importantly, nothing that happens during the year, good or bad, will influence my investing decisions or perspective. This year doesn't matter. Next year doesn't matter. All that matters is the big picture....decades.

Therefore, sit back, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the roller coaster ride. Oh yeah, and embrace your meaningful life along the way. Life is too short to worry and lose sleep over something we can't control.

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Win the Moment

Two nights ago, we held our annual State of the Union meeting for our Northern Vessel Coffee team. It was great to gather everyone in the room together. We shared laughs, enjoyed food, discussed friction points, and cast a vision for the year to come. In short, our 2026 strategy is boring: No major changes. No shiny objects. No distractions. We're simply going to lock in and endeavor to become more excellent at every aspect of our business.

The idea of "no shiny objects" came up a few times. In the past, we've always had some audacious idea in the works; something to look forward to. Some were massive successes, and others were epic failures. This year, however, there is no such shiny object.

I felt moved in the moment and shared something with the team. For me, there is something better than a shiny object: the moment. Every single person we have the privilege of serving creates a moment—a brief moment of their life for us to make a positive impact. A moment of encouragement. A moment of laughter. A moment of mourning. A moment of being seen. A moment of support. A moment of something.

My best advice and encouragement for the team is to "win the moment." Our team is blessed with the opportunity to create thousands of moments. Each offers the possibility for us to "win the moment." Not "win" in the sense of competition or achievement, but rather, making a difference for good. It's hard to fully explain what I mean, but a Google review came in yesterday that sums it up so beautifully:

"The best part of our day." Our team won the moment. They created something special out of what could have otherwise been a mere transaction. This person didn't merely buy coffee; they shared an experience.

Shiny objects are fun (and oftentimes euphoric), but choosing to win the moments of life is far more satiating and lasting than any of that. That's my encouragement today. Whatever you're doing today or this week, win the moment. The opportunities are right there in front of you; it only requires us to step into them.

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A Neutral Gear

One of my young friends texted me about the recent developments in Venezuela. He wanted to know how I feel about the situation. I told him, in short, I don't know. Everyone is so quick to have a snap judgment, one way or another, on every topic. In my mind, it's not a simple black-and-white issue; it's complex. Further, I simply don't know enough to have a strong opinion. Perhaps I will at some point, but it's okay not to be an expert at everything.

Considering I write and podcast regularly, I'm no stranger to having opinions. However, I hope people can appreciate my strong desire to stay in my lane. I don't claim to be an expert on every topic in the world. I know what I know, and I don't know the things I don't know.

Social media has turned us into a society where we're forced to immediately jump to one side or the other. One day we're medical experts, the next we're geopolitical experts. One day we're economists, and the next we're environmental scientists. Every time a news story breaks, we quickly rush to our side and staunchly defend it without concern for the facts or truth.

Today, I'm advocating for having a neutral gear. It's okay to sit in neutral while we learn, digest, and process. We don't have to be an expert. We don't need to die on every hill. It's okay to acknowledge that a topic or situation has nuances and complexities.

If you're willing to die on every hill, you have no hills. If you're an expert on every topic, you're not an expert at anything. If it's so quick and easy to pick a side on every topic, the facts don't really matter.

I have my share of opinions, for sure. However, for the other 95% of topics in the world, I try to sit in neutral until I can truly understand them. It's not a race to get there quickly; it's a journey to get it right. I invite you to have a neutral gear as well.

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He Gets It….For Now

My 9-year-old son Pax was ecstatic! After a grueling few hours of work on a random Saturday afternoon, he received a cash deposit into his bank account. His new total balance: $107. This is the most money he'd ever possessed at one time. Typically, he squanders it as fast as he receives it. It's not uncommon for his account balance to hover between $0 and $2. But today, he has more than a hundred bucks.

While in the midst of his celebration, I ask him if he's planning to use it for anything in particular. "There's not really anything I want right now. So, no."

"Congrats, you're wealthy now!" I said.

"Having more than $100 makes me wealthy?"

"No, it's not about how much you have. You not wanting more than you have makes you wealthy. That's called contentment."

Granted, we just passed Christmas. He received some fun gifts, and he's still riding that high. I'm sure it's merely a matter of time before his materialistic instinct kicks in again. In the meantime, though, I want to stress these principles to him. These aren't principles for little kids; they are principles for humans.

If we always want more, we're never wealthy. If we can control our desires and ensure that our wants never exceed our resources, we're wealthy. This is a universal truth, regardless of age, education, or income.

I know families who make $400,000/year that are poor, and I know families who make $80,000/year who are wealthy. The mindset dictates everything. My family's income is lower than it was seven years ago when I left my prior career, but we're wealthier than ever before. We're not beholden to our wants, desires, and physical aspirations.

Are there material things we want? Absolutely! We'd love to purchase different cars (which we probably will soon). We'd love a small condo in our favorite lake town. I'd love to eat at Michelin-starred restaurants every month. I'd love to make a half-dozen international trips each year. I'm not immune to these human wants, but they don't drive me. They don't dictate my position in life. They don't define me.

I hope Pax sits on this idea for a while. I hope he savors the fact that he's not in a constant state of want. Then, at some point, I hope he finds something really, really cool that he wants to spend the money on. I hope he thoroughly enjoys it and knows that it was the absolute best use of his funds and adds a ton of value to his life. That's another valuable lesson. But for now, he's wealthy.

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They Can’t All Be Winners

Having published on this blog for nearly 1,200 consecutive days, I regularly get asked one particular question:

"How do you manage to have great ideas every day?"

Answer: I don't.

The truth is, not all days can be winners. I've really struggled writing the past few days. The ideas aren't flowing. The vibe isn't hitting. It doesn't feel natural.

While it never feels great to be in a rut, it forces us to make a decision:

1. We can shelf it and wait until it's perfect (which will probably never come).

2. We can ship it....period.

Shelving our creativity doesn't serve anyone. It robs others of your gifts while simultaneously robbing you of growingthrough the struggle. On the flip side, pushing through, no matter how it feels, helps us develop skills, habits, and discipline.

I wake up every day knowing that I MUST produce. No excuses. No justifications. No outs. While that might feel like a lot of pressure, it's actually freeing. The expectation isn't perfect. Rather, the expectation is impact. Nothing I produce will be 100% flawless, but my prayer is that someone will be moved. That's it. There's a freedom in that. There's beauty in that.

I know many people who read this feel a similar tension about an area of their life. It's a tension that lingers in the air. It can feel immensely frustrating. It often holds us back from moving forward in the areas we're called to step into. It makes us hesitate. We relent. We doubt ourselves. We wonder if we're good enough.

You are. You are good enough. Your work is worthy. Please don't be afraid to step into that thing. You'll win. Those whom you serve will win. The world will be a better place. You got this.

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Terrible Reasons

One of my clients recently gave me the surprise of a lifetime. After making so much progress, primarily due to their sacrifice and discipline, they arrived at a coaching meeting with a new priority: purchasing a new car. And not just any car, but a $75,000 vehicle they absolutely can't afford. When I asked them what drove this recent development, one of the spouses responded, "All of our family and friends are buying new vehicles. We make good money, so we think we deserve to buy something nice, too."

That's a terrible reason to buy a new vehicle! First, I don't know the financial situation of any of their friends or family, but assuming they follow general demographic trends, they can't afford these vehicles, either. I've seen more $1,000/month vehicle payments than I care to admit, and I can testify that they are more common than most people would believe.

Just because our friends and family are making insane decisions, it doesn't mean we should follow suit. This awesome young couple is doing so well with their finances, and their impulses to keep up with the Joneses have the potential of erasing 18 months of hard-fought progress.

This is the battle we all face. Every day is a gauntlet of more. A gauntlet of comparison. A gauntlet of jealousy. A gauntlet of social media highlight reels. And every day, we must stay strong and stick to our knitting.

Sarah's vehicle has 220,000 miles, and mine has 150,000. We're about due for some new purchases. However, those purchases cannot come at the expense of our integrity, our peace, and our plan. We have specific goals for our lives, and we're not about to let a materialistic urge set us back. Instead, we're taking intentional steps each month to prepare for a vehicle transition. I can promise it's not a $75,000 transition, though. We know the budget we need to hit to thread the needle of getting what we need.....for a cost we can afford to pay in cash. It won't be the flashiest vehicle on the lot, but it will allow our family to continue down the path we're called to walk. It will allow us to walk in peace. It will allow us the margin to fight the battles that life throws at us. That, friends, is a win. Not a sexy win, but a massive, life-giving win.

Don't let the urge for more knock you off the path toward better. Don't unwind years of progress for a fleeting feeling of euphoria. It's not worth it. It's never worth it.

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One Day at a Time

Did you know that 90% of New Year's resolutions fail? It's actually worse than that. Studies show that 23% of New Year's resolutions fail within the first 7 days of the year! 43% fail within the first 30 days. By mid-February, more than half of New Year's resolutions are already dead.

I despise New Year's resolutions. It's not that I don't appreciate the sentiment behind them. I spent years starting (and failing) New Year's resolutions, too. The problem isn't in the idea; the problem is the execution.

Here's the problem. A New Year's resolution doesn't take anything more than some empty, albeit well-intentioned, words. It's a verbal declaration....with nothing behind it.

"I'm going to become a bodybuilder."

"I'm going to lose 75 pounds."

"I'm going to write a book."

"I'm going to be a better parent."

"I'm going to stop drinking."

All of these are good things, but in the general-ness of the proclamations, there's no real meat to them. There are no natural next steps that would actually bring these resolutions to life. They are wishlists. They are hopes. They are dreams.

Here's what I suggest as an alternative. Set a new habit. Pick something; something achievable. If you really want to lose 75 pounds, set one habit that will move you closer to it. Walk 10,000 steps per day. Don't eat after dinner. Cut out soda. Pick a small habit that, when repeated daily, will move you closer to your goal.

Finances are the same way. "I want to pay off $80,000 of student loans." I love the goal (or resolution), however, that statement alone won't unlock that potential outcome. Instead, what's needed are some simple, repeatable habits. Budget every month. Track spending every month. Find a way to bring in extra income. Intentionally make larger payments on one debt. Pick one or two "want" categories to cut back on each month. Paying off $80,000 of debt is a huge challenge, but it's also achievable. Most people aren't doing it, but you don't have to be most people.

Those are just a few examples. Don't set resolutions this year.....you'll surely fail. Instead, pick one or two small but repeatable habits that will naturally lead you closer to where you want to go. Then, once these habits become a standard practice in your life, you can add new habits or intensify the existing ones. That, I'm confident to say, is a fool-proof way to succeed.

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A Blank Canvas

Happy New Year, everyone! I don't know why, but this day gives me so much hope, optimism, and excitement each year. I've felt that way since I was a little kid, and that feeling never fades. I think what excites me so much is that it always feels like a blank canvas.

It's a clean slate, a fresh start, a new beginning. That canvas is so crisp, so clean, so empty. We are the artists. The brushes and paints are in our hands. What will we do with that opportunity? Will we continue to fall into the same traps as before? Will we fall prey to the ongoing pressures of our world? Will we take the path of least resistance and simply keep doing what we've always done?

Or, will we decide to carve a new path, a different path? Will we etch out a new storyline that has the potential to fundamentally transform our lives forever?

I feel the constant tension between continuing down the exact same road I'm on and having the courage to pivot. I see the hope and promise of what could be, but am I brave enough to go for it?

The same goes for you. You have a blank canvas in front of you. Today is day #1. This is where it begins. What masterpiece will you create with the blank canvas that lies before you? I can't wait to find out.

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Meddling

With another year coming to a close, a close friend recently texted me and asked if I would share what adjustments I've been making to my investments. After all, the world is constantly changing! It's important that we tweak and optimize our investment portfolio, right?

I shared all my adjustments with him, and I thought I'd do the same with you. With that context in mind, I'm going to give you a detailed breakdown of all the adjustments I made in 2025:

My apologies, that was kinda boring. Perhaps you'll find 2024's adjustments more exciting:

Ok, this isn't helping. How about 2023:

The truth is, I don't tweak, optimize, mettle, or adjust. I simply invest broadly (and cheaply) in the U.S. stock market and allow time to run its course. Outside of rolling my former employer's 401(k) into my IRA nearly 7 years ago, I haven't made a single adjustment to my investment portfolio in 10+ years. It might even be 20 years, but my memory doesn't allow me to confidently testify to anything longer than a decade out.

If your investing isn't the easiest, simplest, and most hands-off thing in your life, you're doing it wrong. And by "wrong," I also mean poorly. Nothing good happens when we meddle. The best thing we can do is invest the right way and allowtime to pass. That's it. That's the secret.

If this is already what you're doing, congrats on your inevitable future (eventual) success. However, if everything I'm presenting seems foreign to you, perhaps now is a great time to reorient your portfolio and your perspective.

Have a very happy NYE!

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Swapping Now for Most

As I continue to reflect on the year that's been and what's to come, I'm repeatedly reminded of a quote that always hits home for me: "Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most." This quote is often credited to President Abraham Lincoln, and while I'm not sure that's true, whoever said it was a genius.

We, humans, do a really, really good job of choosing what we want now, knowing (consciously or subconsciously) that it will cost us what we want most. Debt is a great example of this. We use debt to get the things we want now, and the payments we eventually have to make will cost us something grander in the long run. Career choices are the same. We often choose jobs based on what they pay us right now, failing to consider the trajectory or other open doors a lower-paid role could provide.

We can even boil it down to something as simple as that donut sitting on the table. Yeah, slamming that treat (or three) would be really appealing right now, but does that action help me get to where I'm trying to go with my health and fitness in the long run?

As I continue to set goals and lay down parameters for the new year, I'm constantly thinking about what I want now vs. what I want most. Does XYZ decision help me get what I want now, or does it help me get what I want most? I don't always like the answer, unfortunately. There are a few things I need to give up now in order to get what I want most. My assistant and I chatted about that yesterday, and to be honest, it's humbling.

While these can be tough pills to swallow, I take solace in realizing that much of my life today is the product of past me choosing most over now. The freedoms we get to live have a direct correlation with the sacrifices Sarah and I made early in our marriage. I can tell you with 100% certainty that some of those decisions way back when felt utterly gut-wrenching. However, fast-forward 10-15 years, and I can testify that our life is 10x better because of it.

Therefore, no matter how much some of these now vs. most decisions can suck, choosing most ALWAYS pays off in the end. Bank on that, and do what you need to do.

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What’s Next?

Not sure if you noticed or not, but we have a new year starting in a few days! New Year's Eve and New Year's Day are always two of my favorite days of the year. They always seem to spark a few things in me:

1. Much-needed reflection about the year that's been.

2. Visioning about the year that's to come.

I live so much in the moment that I rarely take time to reflect on what's happened or what's to come. I'm hyper-fixated on what's right in front of me, and other things tend to get lost in the mix.

My life and businesses have taken so many twists and turns in 2025 that I'm practically living in a different world at the end of the year than I was at the beginning. With that comes the need to ask myself the tough questions. Later today, I'll meet with my assistant, Alyssa, to discuss what next year should/could look like. I have some tough decisions to make. Exciting decisions to make. Sacrificial decisions to make. Life-giving decisions to make. Gut-wrenching decisions to make.

In many ways, I think 2026 could be my best year yet. At the same time, though, it's likely to be the most challenging year yet. There's one condition, though. The only way this potential can be unlocked is if I'm willing to make the decisions that need to be made. Am I willing to get uncomfortable? Am I willing to pay the price? Am I willing to make the appropriate sacrifices? We shall see, and I'll be sharing more details with you soon.

Let's turn the mirror around. What about you? I encourage you to take some time in the next few days to take stock of what's been, look ahead to what could be, and challenge yourself to make the necessary decisions to unlock it. Staying right where we are is always the simplest and most comfortable path. It takes literally no effort to just keep doing what we're already doing. However, my gut tells me there's something in life you know you need to do. This is a great time to draw your line in the sand.

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