3 Men, 3 Mindsets

Today's post is inspired by a recent piece written by my great friend, Gary Hoag. If you're a longtime reader of this blog, you probably know that Gary is the inspiration and encouragement behind this blog. If you didn't know that, now you do! In either case, you should totally subscribe to Gary's daily writings.

An excerpt from Gary's recent article:

"A story is told of a visitor to London during the time of the construction of St. Paul's Cathedral, the architect of which was Sir Christopher Wren. The visitor stopped at the construction site and asked some of the workmen what they were doing. One said, 'I am working to get money to keep my family.' Another said, 'I am working here because it is the kind of work I have been trained to do.' A third man said, 'I am helping Sir Christopher Wren build a great cathedral.'"

Three different men, three different mindsets. All things being equal, I think we can assume that all three of these men were doing similar work and earning similar wages. However, they might as well have been living on different planets. Each of these men woke up in the morning, got dressed, commuted to work, and started their workday. All three of their daily routines might have also looked similar to one another.

What happened when they got to the worksite, though, is where everything changed. Sure, they were performing the same work, but the mindset behind said work changes everything.

• One man was there because work is a necessary evil.

• One man was there to put his training and skills into practice.

• One man was there to make an impact.

Three men, three mindsets.

All work matters. Your work matters! Regardless of what you're doing today, your work matters. You might make the same dollar amount regardless of your mindset (I would argue even that's up for debate), but there's no doubt which mindset will drain our tank and which mindset will satiate something deep within us. Same paycheck, drastically different experience.

We can talk all we want about our work not having to have meaning, but considering we spend half our waking hours at work, feeling meaning in our work makes a world of difference in our journey. It has the power to turn terrible into okay, okay into good, and good into great. It puts an extra pep in our step, makes the tough moments worthwhile, and juices up the wins. Regardless of what work I'm performing, I want to be more like the third man. "I am helping Sir Christopher Wren build a great cathedral."

Meaning is a choice. Apathy is a choice. Impact is a choice. Misery is a choice. Choose wisely.

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Like an Oncoming Freight Train

I usually see the criticism coming! Most days, when I hit "publish," I know whether or not to brace myself for the backlash. Over the last five years of writing and podcasting, I feel like I have my finger well-placed on the pulse of oncoming anger. Well, I whiffed this week. A few days ago, I wrote a piece about how I put my kids in positions where failure is very much on the table. Here's one specific quote from that piece:

"My kids get sick of me talking about the pursuit of failure; I celebrate it. I applaud them each time they give something their best shot and subsequently fall flat on their face."

I celebrate my kids' failure!?!? Yes, correct; it’s fantastic! I don't revel in their misery or something twisted like that, but I celebrate the act of taking risks, failing, and getting back up. It builds character, grit, and perseverance. In a world that tells parents to protect their kids from failure, I'm leading my children into it like an oncoming freight train.

I'll take this sentiment one step further. I'd rather my two boys fail at every single dream and calling in their lives than to achieve success in something they don't give a rip about. I don't yet know what their dreams will be, but I'd rather they completely bomb in their relentless pursuit of them than take the easy way out and pursue a "safe" or "normal" path for the sake of avoiding failure.

Regret is the worst feeling in the world.....even worst than failure. Regret is looking back and wishing we had tried, while failure is knowing we gave it our best shot and it didn't work out. If those are my two options, give me the pain of failure every day of the week!

I hope my kids are tremendously successful in whatever they do, but I promise you (and them), I will root them on to relentlessly pursue their dreams and callings at every step of the way, even in the presence of painful, agonizing, gut-wrenching failure.

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A Question From Mr. Clear

In doing some research for a potential project, I stumbled upon a Tweet yesterday afternoon. James Clear, the author of the best-selling phenomenon book, Atomic Habits, asked a profoundly meaty question:

This falls in line with my ongoing messaging about budgeting: "It's not about spending less, but rather spending better." We need to lean harder into the things that add value to our lives while simultaneously turning our backs on the things that don't. That's the recipe for finding more meaning in our money.

When I see families exhausted and frustrated by their finances, it almost always includes their unintentional spending on things that don't actually matter to them. Consequently, they don't have the resources to spend on things they actually care about. It's the ultimate emotional drain.

However, when we can be laser-focused on what actually matters to us, blocking out all the noise around us, it oftentimes feels like we got a raise. Further, life just feels better when our resources go toward valuable things. There's no worse feeling than spinning our tires by spending all our hard-earned income on stuff that doesn't move the needle in our lives.

I'll answer Mr. Clear's questions, but after I do, I challenge you to answer them for yourself.

What single expense in my life delivers the least amount of happiness per dollar spent?

• This might be an unpopular opinion in my house, but some of our streaming services. If it were up to me, we'd justhave YouTubeTV and Netflix.....that's it. However, because x show is on y platform, we subscribe to y platform. And z show is on b platform, we subscribe to b platform. In my mind, this is one of the least effective categories in our budget.

• If this is true, I should probably engage Sarah about this and see how important it is to her (and how important it is for me to push back on).

What single expense in my life delivers the most amount of happiness per dollar spent?

• Dining out, and there's not a close second. I so cherish the time our family spends dining out, whether it's a quick meal with the kids or a date night with Sarah.

• The other one I was debating was Travel, but on a dollar-for-dollar basis, dining out offers a far higher return.

• If this is true, it would argue that we should consider increasing our dining out category each month. I think we skimp on this one far too often.

Your turn.

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The Endless Pursuit of Better

We had our first official full-day experiment with our canned drink concept at Northern Vessel last week. To say people were excited would be a gross understatement. I could figuratively see people's brains melting before my eyes. Needless to say, the overwhelming feedback tells us we're on the right track.

To summarize, we're trying to innovate the way we serve our customers. About 70% of our beverages are served iced, even in the dead of winter. Instead of serving our iced drinks in traditional cups, we're piloting a process to can handmade drinks on the fly. Here's what it looks like in action:

I firmly believe this will be one of the most revolutionary things we've ever done at NV. It will have ripple effects that I don't yet even know about. Can you tell I'm excited?!?!

One of my friends happened to stop by the shop on that canning test day. He sent me the following text several hours later: "What's the point in doing this? You're already the best coffee shop in the state....probably the Midwest. Why rock the boat?"

Whether we're the best shop in the state or region is entirely up for debate. That's what we desire to be, but it's obviously a subjective topic. However, it's clear we've carved out some level of success. If that's true, "why rock the boat?" as my friend so bluntly inquired?

I've received this question countless times over the past 3+ years since we began building NV into what it is today. "It's good enough" is another way it's often phrased.

All this brings me back to an idea I can't let go of: The endless pursuit of better. If there's a better way to do something, don't we owe it to those we serve to find it? If our drinks can be better, why not serve them better drinks? If the experience can be enhanced, why not provide it? Sure, there's a "normal" way to do things in every industry. But sometimes, we need to look past normal and find "better."

All of us have things in our day-to-day lives that fall into the "good enough" camp. It's good enough, and good enough is good enough. But what if we could find a better way? A better way to do the laundry. A better way to handle our money. A better way to get to work. A better way to serve our clients. A better way to keep the madness in order. Better is better. This isn't about lack of contentment, but rather a deep-seated desire to grow, improve, and make a more impactful difference in the world.

Back to the canned drinks. Why would we blow up our entire workflow, increase our COGS (cost of goods sold), lower our gross margins, further constrain our already-tight dry storage capacity, and risk losing customers when we've already established ourselves as "successful"? Because our guests deserve better, and we firmly believe this will provide a better overall experience.

I invite you into the endless pursuit of better….in all you do. It's a fun and humbling journey, but we ALWAYS end up better for it.

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Scared of the Medicine

As yesterday unfolded, I kept coming up with new ideas for today's post. I have so many things to write about. I could write about this, or maybe that. What about that really cool thing that happened? Oh, wait, what about this other thing? Needless to say, my brain melted.

Considering I publish every day, I have plenty of time to unpack these stories in the coming days/weeks. One thread seemed to weave through each of my ideas, though: Failure.

On the whole, we humans are terrified of failure. We're scared enough that we go to great lengths to avoid it. We'd rather not pursue something we want out of fear that we might not get it. See the irony in that? We regularly accept a 0% chance of success in xyz goal because not even trying feels better than trying and failing.

Here's the wild part about failure. Failure isn't the manifestation of a loss. It's not some finality that ends the story. Rather, failure is the admission price to success. Failure isn't losing.....it's a necessary step toward the victory we seek.

Yesterday, I watched the product of failure. In multiple situations, I saw pain turn into glory, fear into joy, and terror into confidence. My kids get sick of me talking about the pursuit of failure; I celebrate it. I applaud them each time they give something their best shot and subsequently fall flat on their face. It's never fun in the moment, but that's where our character and grit are built. Not only do I not shield my kids from failure, but I put them in situations to fail.

I want to unpack this idea more in the coming days, but until I do, just know that we've had a LOT of failure over here in the Shelton household. And that, friends, is where the beauty comes from. I can't wait to share those stories soon!

Here are three questions for you to sit on today:

1. Where have you let fear of failure hold you back from doing something that mattered?

2. When have you shielded your kids from potential failure?

3. How might these situations played out differently if instead of trying to avoid failure, we chased it?

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100% Ours

Tempers were flaring, f-bombs were tossed like hand grenades, and the occasional tears arose. This was the scene of a recent sit-down I had with a struggling couple. The subject matter: the income differential between the two spouses. More specifically, how the couple makes financial decisions given their income differential.

Here's the high-level summary of the situation:

• Husband makes 70% of the income, and the wife makes 30%.

• The husband handles the day-to-day finances.

• The husband's income pays for the family's needs, and the wife's income pays for the wants (travel, dining out, entertainment, etc.).

• The husband spends anything he wants, but gives his wife "an allowance." After all, she only makes 30% of the family's income.....so this is generous (his words, not mine).

• Every time there's an argument, the husband throws out the trump card: "I make more than twice as much as you, so I get to make the call."

As the conversation unfolded, the husband realized I must have had a look of disgust on my face at the words coming out of his mouth. He seemed surprised. After all, he knew that I was the breadwinner in my marriage. As such, I would naturally align with him, right?

By my records, I made 98.5% of our family's income in 2025. Translation: My marriage is far more unbalanced than his. With that context in mind, I explained to them (mostly him) that their way of handling finances is beyond toxic. They are keeping score with money and using it as a weapon. Further, their dumb idea of allocating her income to wants meant that if she ever wanted to take a different job or stay at home, she would be solely responsible for ripping all enjoyment and adventure from the family. Gross.

I may make 98.5% of my family's income, but our income is 100% "ours." Not mine. Not mostly mine. Ours. Everything Sarah and I make is viewed as a collective pot for us to manage together. Yes, I do the day-to-day finances. Yes, I createthe first draft of the monthly budget. Yes, I have more financial expertise than her. However, she ALWAYS has a 50/50 say in all we do. In fact, early in my marriage, I promised myself that I would never get more monthly personal spending money than she does. She would always get the same as me....or more on some occasions.

Something powerful happens when couples view money as a collective pot. It allows a full integration of life and decision-making. This income isn't for this, and that income isn't for that. It's just money in and money out. We're both called to different work in our lives, and in this season, my work provides 98.5% of our income. That doesn't make her less valuable or less impactful. It just means my work pays more. Sarah is impacting the world in different ways; important ways.

Whatever income dynamic you have in your marriage, I strongly (STRONGLY!!!) encourage you to adopt a "100% ours" mentality. You're a team, not a competition. Be in this together, side by side.

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“Mom, Can You Take Me To Wal-Mart?”

Finn steps into Sarah's SUV after a long day of 3rd-grade life. He heaves his bookbag over his shoulder, then slings his coat. It's finally time for him to relax, grab a snack, and do his typical Finny things. This day, though, he requested a detour: "Mom, can you take me to Wal-Mart?"

As you can imagine, Sarah was quite confused by this out-of-nowhere request. Naturally, she asked him why. "Because I want to buy you a birthday gift with my money."

Wow. Just wow. After Sarah squeegied her melted heart off the floor, she happily obliged. As they roamed the aisles of Wal-Mart, Finn made sure Sarah maintained a healthy distance (so as not to spoil her surprise). He took his time, weighed his options, and then eventually made his selection.

Now, the even more adult part: making the purchase. With Sarah still removed from the scene, Finn approached the check-out line in what must have resembled the grocery store scene from Home Alone. Finn pulled out his wallet, inserted his debit card, and entered the PIN he had spent much time memorizing. Boom! Little Finn had completed his mission!

It wasn't until 24 hours later that the rest of the family learned what he spent his hard-earned money on:

Well done, Finny, well done! He's not always a little gentleman, but when he does, he gentlemans well.

Parents, keep having discussions with your kids about money. Working, spending, saving, and giving. All of it matters. It will rarely go exactly the way you hope it will, but in the long run, you'll see little glimmers of promise. That pretty little necklace Finn bought for his mom is one of those glimmers. He worked hard, earned money, managed it well, enjoyed some wants for himself, and used some to buy his mom a present. Proud of that little dude.

Keep going. Don't give up. This next generation is counting on us to prepare them to leave the world better than they found it. Let's teach them well and lead by example.

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A Nasty Coke Habit

One of my friends recently threw an interesting question at me. He has a Coke habit. No, not kind of coke…..he has the Coca-Cola variety of habit. Every single workday, he buys a bottle of Coke from the vending machine when he gets to work. $2.50/bottle. This habit drives his wife nuts. First, why does he need a bottle of Coke every day?!?! Second, if he's going to buy a bottle of Coke, why does he need to buy it from a vending machine?!?!

I'm going to set aside any health-related considerations and focus solely on the economic/behavioral factors. Why does he need a Coke each day? Well, why do I drink a cup of black coffee every day? Why does my buddy Evan eat a little cup of yogurt (with chocolate chips) each day? Why does my son Finn eat popcorn every day after school? Because some habits help us create an enjoyable rhythm to life. A familiarity. A comfort. None of these things are needs; they are wants. For me, there's nothing more enjoyable than savoring a steaming mug of black coffee shortly after I wake up. It's a staple habit of my day. Regardless of the cost, this small, repeatable habit adds significant value to my life. My friend's bottle of Coke falls into that same camp. It gives him something to look forward to. 

But what about the vending machine? Why wouldn't he just buy a case of bottles at Costco, then bring one to work each day? After all, that would make a lot more economic sense. He couldn't justify himself (to the ire of his wife), but I immediately spotted it. The ritual of buying his drink means way more than he realizes. The walk to the machine, the conversation he has with his friend while at the machine, the sound of clicking quarters, watching the bottle tumble down to the chute, and extracting the ice-cold bottle from the little door. Further, this little ritual isn't simply a ritual; it's a trigger. The moment he practices his ritual is a proverbial switch flipping in him. That's the moment he shifts from his personal self to his professional self. It's game time! He's ready to tackle the day.

Without realizing it, he long ago established a trigger that lets him turn on the engine. He's amazing at his job, and I would argue that this practice has played a positive role in his journey. By my math, he spends north of $600/year on this "dumb habit," as his wife refers to it. In my opinion, though, it might be one of the best financial investments in his life. A simple joy, a tangible trigger, a moment of normalcy. I'm not a pop drinker, but I think it's pretty dang cool. 

I have a few similar habits in my life, and perhaps you do, too. Whatever they are, I encourage you to not unfairly judge them as "wastes" or "irresponsible." Each of us needs to find a rhythm that allows us to experience normalcy, meet a simple want, and act as a trigger to something even more important in the journey. 

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Grocery Carts and Little Signals

Several years ago, I ran into a colleague at the grocery store check-out line. This colleague was well known in the community as a generous person. This struck me as odd, as my gut feeling toward him was that he was a complete jerk. Perhaps I was being too judgmental.

A few minutes after our brief encounter, I walked out of the store and into the parking lot. Though there were many cars, it felt quiet out there. As I approached my car, I realized my colleague was parked directly beside my car. When he pulled away, I discovered that he left his grocery cart immediately behind my car! There was a grocery cart return station 20 feet from our cars, but he decided to just haphazardly disregard his cart out in the open?!?!

Ever since that day, I've thought a lot about how people handle themselves with grocery carts. In my mind, a person's decision in that moment can be an interesting glimpse into their character. How we treat people and the world around us when nobody is looking is telling.

Since that original grocery cart incident, my obsession with watching people's grocery cart decisions has sparked so many new stories. After nearly 10 years of thinking too much about this topic, I can confidently say that people who haphazardly disregard grocery carts make terrible friends. Conversely, you know who I love to spend time with? The people who not only return carts to the return station, but also slide the cart all the way into the preceding cart, thereby making the worker's job that much easier. Those people are the best!

In a world with so much noise, I think it's important to pick up on the little signals of life. It's easy to put on a loving face when the lights are shining and people are looking, but how do we treat others when there's no attention to be gained or reputation to protect? Those are the moments that tell us everything we need to know.

I don't know about you, but engaging with people behind the scenes, in life's smallest moments, is one of my favorite things in the world. I love how, after I interact with someone, my kids ask, "Do you know that person?!?!" No, bud, we should just be loving to everyone, whether we know them or not. Those are my moments. That's when I feel most alive and most capable of moving the needle in my day-to-day life.

Today's takeaways:

• Love people well.....especially when no one's watching.

• Find meaning in the small moments.

• Spot the little signals that tell you about someone's character.

• Put your shopping cart away.

• Don't hang out with people who don't.

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Blind Spots, In Action

Yesterday's post was on the spicier side, not because of my words, but because of the overarching subject matter. Several of my friends reached out yesterday (in love) to suggest I stay clear of these types of topics and instead keep my focus on my core mission. If you stuck with me and you're back today, I hope you'll see how it all fits together.

"Our blind spots are killing us. They are killing our relationships, our personal growth, and our success." Those were some of my parting words in yesterday's post. Despite clear evidence right in front of us, we humans tend to see only what we want to see.

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Many years ago, one of my young friends was struggling to land a good job. He was extraordinarily bright, charming, and driven. In his words, he was "overqualified" for all the jobs he was applying for, thus resulting in him being repeatedly turned down for job opportunities. In a fun little twist of circumstances, my team was hiring, and I thought he might be a good fit. I invited him to apply, and he eagerly obliged.

The interview was a disaster. While he was, in fact, a bright, charming, and driven young man, he came across as arrogant, condescending, and entitled. He presented himself as a know-it-all, made terrible eye contact, and overall, lacked professionalism.

Needless to say, he didn't get hired. The entire situation was a dumpster fire. On the heels of this debacle, he again lamented to me about how he's simply too "overqualified" for most jobs, and he's a victim of his elevated abilities. When I shared some feedback from the interview process, he immediately dismissed me, seeing only what he wanted to see. If he could overcome his blind spots, he would have easily been able to develop his interview skills, allowing his true giftedness an opportunity to flourish.

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In the past few years, I've met with countless young couples who are struggling with their finances. As we work through the numbers and their personal financial situations, they offer their perspective on what's happening: "The Boomers have ruined our economy, and it's nearly impossible for our generation to succeed. The entire system is stacked against us, and nobody gives a s#$t." The exact words of one of these disgruntled people.

Translation: they are victims of overarching systemic issues. Inflation, high housing prices, a tough job market, stagnant wages.....the list goes on. While I'm not arguing that these things do or don't exist, I think there's more to the story.

Here's what I uncovered. Their financial lives were comprised of a series of terrible and destructive decisions. They've structured their lives in such a way that they constantly back themselves into financial corners. However, since they only see what they want to see, they are blind (and defiant) to these dynamics. If they could overcome their blind spots, they could easily gain control of their finances and set themselves free from the misery that's been bestowed upon them.

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Lastly, I'll share the story of Sam. Like millions of Americans, Sam is in tens of thousands of dollars of consumer debt...$59,000 to be exact. Credit cards, car loans, student loans. Everything he's been told his whole life indicates he's screwed, and there's no way out. A debt-filled life is inevitable. I walked him through a simple but effective process that would free him from all this debt within 24 hours. "Impossible!" The black-and-white numbers said it was doable, but he saw only evidence of the doomed nature of his life. If he could overcome his blind spots, he could transform his life.

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These blind spots are so very real. They aren't just costing us dollars and cents; they are costing us our freedom, our dreams, our callings, and our meaning. Please don't allow your blind spots rob you of what could otherwise be something truly special.

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Massive Blind Spots

Before I dive in, I need to clarify one thing. This post is NOT political. In fact, my goal is for you not to know which side of the fence I sit on by the time you finish this piece. Please remember this as you continue.

By now, most people have probably heard about and watched the video footage from the horrific incident that took place last week in Minneapolis. Just to be clear, what I'm talking about is a situation where an ICE agent shot and killed a woman in a vehicle. Regardless of your leanings, this incident was tragic. Many lives have and will be ruined as a result of this event.

Once again, this is another story that has ripped the country in half. Anger, resentment, vengeance, and all sorts of negative feelings are stirring all around us. Immediately after the story broke, people made up their minds about the "truth." Without knowing anything, people already knew what happened......and coincidentally, the "truth" about what happened aligns perfectly with their prevailing beliefs.

In the following days, more information and video footage of the event surfaced. All this new information filled in the gaps and provided more clarity on the truth. Something interesting happened, though. Despite having even more information, people were as split as ever about the "truth." One person could watch all the video footage and conclude one "truth," and another person could watch all the video footage and conclude a completely different "truth." To one person, the footage proves the shooting victim was 100% innocent, and it's an open-and-shut case of corrupt and evil law enforcement. To another person, the very same footgate proves the law enforcement agent was 100% innocent, and it's an open-and-shut case of the natural consequences of domestic terrorism.

How can we all watch the exact same video footage and reach polar-opposite verdicts? Because we humans ultimately see what we want to see. If we want to see corrupt law enforcement, we'll see corrupt law enforcement. If we want to see domestic terrorism, we'll see domestic terrorism. We'll absorb the facts and details that support our already-held beliefs while disregarding, dismissing, or minimizing the facts that may be contrary to what we want to believe.

I shared this idea with a handful of friends over the past few days. Every single person, without fail, explained to me that I was wrong and tried to convince me that their perspective was the absolute "truth"......and these were people on polar opposite sides from each other. See the irony here?

Life is full of nuance. If all we do is look for the facts to support what we already want to be true (which, again, is a subconscious phenomenon), we're doomed. We're doomed on a relational level, we're doomed on a personal growth level, and we're doomed on a success level. Our blind spots will crush us, either drip by drip or quite violently.

I certainly don't always get this right, but man, I try to be aware. Very few things in life are 100%/0%….the truth typically lives somewhere in the middle. We all have massive blind spots. I encourage you to find yours, and in the meantime, I'll continue seeking mine.

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Got a Secret to Tell Ya

Today is your lucky day, as I got a secret to tell ya. Ready for it? Okay, here goes. You know all the people in your life who look wealthy? They probably aren't. In fact, most people who look wealthy are far from it. I've worked with hundreds of families over the years, and this is a common and predictable theme.

They might have a lifestyle that suggests they are wealthy, but, in a fun twist of irony, these perceptions they create are among the factors that keep them from actually being wealthy. Cars, houses, clothes, trips, toys, technology, clubs....each of these externally facing expenditures puts pressure on finances (never mind the debt). Translation: In an attempt to look wealthy, people often sabotage the finances that might lead them to actually become wealthy.

I have a bonus secret for you! You know all the people around you who are just living normal underwhelming lives? A good chunk of those families are actually wealthy. They don't care what you, me, or anyone else thinks of them. They don't need to show off. They don't need to portray a certain image. They simply take care of their business and keep their heads down. These also happen to be the most generous people, too, as they don't feel the need to selfishly spend all the money on themselves.

Next time you see one of your friends, family, co-workers, or neighbors and think to yourself, "man, I wish I were as wealthy as they are," you might already be. You might think you want their financial life, but if you were to see what's on the other side of that curtain, it might make you grateful for the life you do have.

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Under Our Noses

Do you ever feel like you don't have much, if any, financial margin in your month-to-month life? I've felt that way at times, and I regularly meet people who believe the same.

I could tell countless stories about this idea, but instead, I'll share one specific encounter I recently had that perfectly sums up today's point. Here's the context:

• Husband and wife, both late 30s.

• Three young children.

• Monthly take-home income of around $9,000.

• They have a mortgage and one medium-sized car loan.

• Constant frustration and tension in the marriage since there isn't margin to do the things they really care about.

We spent about an hour going through their budget. Sure enough, there really isn't any margin once everything is accounted for. Or is there?

What I often find is that even when people don't believe they have margin, they actually do have margin right under their noses. It's sneaky. Category by category, I whiteboarded all the components of margin I saw in their financial life.

• $800 worth of dining out each month.

• $175 worth of streaming services each month.

• $500 worth of combined personal spending each month.

• $500-$750 worth of travel each month.

So while finances feel tight and there doesn't appear to be margin, they DO have margin. However, they've just chosen (whether consciously or subconsciously) to use that margin to fill the above-referenced categories. In total, they had approximately $2,200/month of actual margin.

My challenge to them was to look in the mirror and sincerely ask themselves what they wanted to do with that margin. It's okay to do what they are already doing, but it's not okay to whine about it and feel like a victim. If they are a victim of anything, it's of their own choices. Therefore, let's make sure we're making rock-solid choices.

I didn't share this with them to guilt them or embarrass them. Rather, I wanted them to see just how truly blessed they are. Second, I wanted them to embrace this opportunity to add the most value to their lives.

After multiple conversations, they reoriented where some of their monthly cashflow was going. This month, they don't feel nearly as stressed. They don't feel like victims. They don't feel like they are on the outside of their dreams, looking in. They recognize the margin they do have, and they are embracing the opportunity to harness it well. Beautiful!

It's a fantastic exercise. I encourage you to try it for yourself!

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The “Normal” Way

Things are done a certain way. In nearly every area of our lives, there's a "normal" way to do something. Is it the right way? Is it the best way? Is it the most beneficial way? Doesn't matter! It's the normal way, and that's all that matters. Get in line, stay in line, and don't rock the boat!

This is a concept we often talk about at Northern Vessel. We ask ourselves what the "normal" way is, then obsessively explore if there's a better way. In many circumstances, this has drawn much criticism (and sometimes hate). However, bucking "normal" can also be the gateway to something much, much better.

We put that idea to the test again this week as we try to re-imagine what a coffee shop drink experience could and should be. We've been in the lab drumming up something truly weird and (possibly) exceptional, and we'll be testing it at a bigger scale soon. Nobody's seen this yet, so I thought I'd give you a little peek:

A coffee shop iced beverage served in a can. You order your drink, the barista handcrafts it in front of you, and it's served in a sealed can. Want to drink it immediately? Simply pop the top and enjoy (with or without a straw). Want to enjoy it during an upcoming meeting? Toss it in your bag or purse and pop the top once you get to your destination. So simple, so effective, so not "normal." Is this a great idea? I’m not sure, but I suspect we’ll find out soon.

So many things in our lives fall into this bucket. The way we approach our careers. The way we handle our finances each month. The way we perceive generosity. The way we invest. The way we engage (or don't) with debt. There's the "normal" way, then there's the, in my strong die-on-the-hill opinion, a better way. A simpler, more effective, not so "normal" way.

A few years ago, I met with a young lady who was struggling in her career. The "normal" path wasn't satisfying her. She was doing everything she was taught to do when navigating a career, but it felt empty. She confessed to me her real dream. It was a weird dream. Then, she added, "But that's not how we're supposed to do things."

"Who cares!?!?" I asked her. It's her journey, and she's the only one who would ultimately eat the consequences of her actions (for better or worse). I told her that while her dream was in fact "not normal," that's exactly why she should pursue it. And pursue it she did! She's now more than two years into a very non-traditional career path, and she's loving every moment of the wild ride. It's not easy, and it's most certainly not always fun, but it's the most rewarding adventure she's ever been on. This only happened because she was willing to challenge the "normal" way.

You do countless things because it's the "normal" way. Which ones do you need to look more closely at to determine if there's actually a better way?

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Here’s My Prediction

"What's the stock market gonna do this year?"

One of my friends asked me to look into my crystal ball and let him know what he can expect from his stock market investments in 2026. Here is my prediction: Somewhere between -40% and +40%.

He rolled his eyes at me, pointing out that that doesn't sound like an expert answer. Great observation, as any "expert" who claims to know what to expect is a fool, not an expert.

The market was supposed to get crushed in 2020 after COVID reared its head: it ended the year +18%.

The market was supposed to have a bad year in 2021 on the heels of an inflated 2020: It ended the year +28%.

The market performed as expected in 2022: it ended the year -18%.

The market was supposed to have a tough year in 2023: it ended the year +26%.

The market was supposed to have an even tougher year in 2024: it ended the year +25%.

The market was supposed to be devastated in 2025 (which seemed to be evidenced by the early 20% tariff-driven "collapse"): it ended the year +18%.

In theory, the market will get crushed in 2026. In practice? I guess somewhere between -40% and +40%. More importantly, nothing that happens during the year, good or bad, will influence my investing decisions or perspective. This year doesn't matter. Next year doesn't matter. All that matters is the big picture....decades.

Therefore, sit back, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the roller coaster ride. Oh yeah, and embrace your meaningful life along the way. Life is too short to worry and lose sleep over something we can't control.

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Win the Moment

Two nights ago, we held our annual State of the Union meeting for our Northern Vessel Coffee team. It was great to gather everyone in the room together. We shared laughs, enjoyed food, discussed friction points, and cast a vision for the year to come. In short, our 2026 strategy is boring: No major changes. No shiny objects. No distractions. We're simply going to lock in and endeavor to become more excellent at every aspect of our business.

The idea of "no shiny objects" came up a few times. In the past, we've always had some audacious idea in the works; something to look forward to. Some were massive successes, and others were epic failures. This year, however, there is no such shiny object.

I felt moved in the moment and shared something with the team. For me, there is something better than a shiny object: the moment. Every single person we have the privilege of serving creates a moment—a brief moment of their life for us to make a positive impact. A moment of encouragement. A moment of laughter. A moment of mourning. A moment of being seen. A moment of support. A moment of something.

My best advice and encouragement for the team is to "win the moment." Our team is blessed with the opportunity to create thousands of moments. Each offers the possibility for us to "win the moment." Not "win" in the sense of competition or achievement, but rather, making a difference for good. It's hard to fully explain what I mean, but a Google review came in yesterday that sums it up so beautifully:

"The best part of our day." Our team won the moment. They created something special out of what could have otherwise been a mere transaction. This person didn't merely buy coffee; they shared an experience.

Shiny objects are fun (and oftentimes euphoric), but choosing to win the moments of life is far more satiating and lasting than any of that. That's my encouragement today. Whatever you're doing today or this week, win the moment. The opportunities are right there in front of you; it only requires us to step into them.

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A Neutral Gear

One of my young friends texted me about the recent developments in Venezuela. He wanted to know how I feel about the situation. I told him, in short, I don't know. Everyone is so quick to have a snap judgment, one way or another, on every topic. In my mind, it's not a simple black-and-white issue; it's complex. Further, I simply don't know enough to have a strong opinion. Perhaps I will at some point, but it's okay not to be an expert at everything.

Considering I write and podcast regularly, I'm no stranger to having opinions. However, I hope people can appreciate my strong desire to stay in my lane. I don't claim to be an expert on every topic in the world. I know what I know, and I don't know the things I don't know.

Social media has turned us into a society where we're forced to immediately jump to one side or the other. One day we're medical experts, the next we're geopolitical experts. One day we're economists, and the next we're environmental scientists. Every time a news story breaks, we quickly rush to our side and staunchly defend it without concern for the facts or truth.

Today, I'm advocating for having a neutral gear. It's okay to sit in neutral while we learn, digest, and process. We don't have to be an expert. We don't need to die on every hill. It's okay to acknowledge that a topic or situation has nuances and complexities.

If you're willing to die on every hill, you have no hills. If you're an expert on every topic, you're not an expert at anything. If it's so quick and easy to pick a side on every topic, the facts don't really matter.

I have my share of opinions, for sure. However, for the other 95% of topics in the world, I try to sit in neutral until I can truly understand them. It's not a race to get there quickly; it's a journey to get it right. I invite you to have a neutral gear as well.

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He Gets It….For Now

My 9-year-old son Pax was ecstatic! After a grueling few hours of work on a random Saturday afternoon, he received a cash deposit into his bank account. His new total balance: $107. This is the most money he'd ever possessed at one time. Typically, he squanders it as fast as he receives it. It's not uncommon for his account balance to hover between $0 and $2. But today, he has more than a hundred bucks.

While in the midst of his celebration, I ask him if he's planning to use it for anything in particular. "There's not really anything I want right now. So, no."

"Congrats, you're wealthy now!" I said.

"Having more than $100 makes me wealthy?"

"No, it's not about how much you have. You not wanting more than you have makes you wealthy. That's called contentment."

Granted, we just passed Christmas. He received some fun gifts, and he's still riding that high. I'm sure it's merely a matter of time before his materialistic instinct kicks in again. In the meantime, though, I want to stress these principles to him. These aren't principles for little kids; they are principles for humans.

If we always want more, we're never wealthy. If we can control our desires and ensure that our wants never exceed our resources, we're wealthy. This is a universal truth, regardless of age, education, or income.

I know families who make $400,000/year that are poor, and I know families who make $80,000/year who are wealthy. The mindset dictates everything. My family's income is lower than it was seven years ago when I left my prior career, but we're wealthier than ever before. We're not beholden to our wants, desires, and physical aspirations.

Are there material things we want? Absolutely! We'd love to purchase different cars (which we probably will soon). We'd love a small condo in our favorite lake town. I'd love to eat at Michelin-starred restaurants every month. I'd love to make a half-dozen international trips each year. I'm not immune to these human wants, but they don't drive me. They don't dictate my position in life. They don't define me.

I hope Pax sits on this idea for a while. I hope he savors the fact that he's not in a constant state of want. Then, at some point, I hope he finds something really, really cool that he wants to spend the money on. I hope he thoroughly enjoys it and knows that it was the absolute best use of his funds and adds a ton of value to his life. That's another valuable lesson. But for now, he's wealthy.

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They Can’t All Be Winners

Having published on this blog for nearly 1,200 consecutive days, I regularly get asked one particular question:

"How do you manage to have great ideas every day?"

Answer: I don't.

The truth is, not all days can be winners. I've really struggled writing the past few days. The ideas aren't flowing. The vibe isn't hitting. It doesn't feel natural.

While it never feels great to be in a rut, it forces us to make a decision:

1. We can shelf it and wait until it's perfect (which will probably never come).

2. We can ship it....period.

Shelving our creativity doesn't serve anyone. It robs others of your gifts while simultaneously robbing you of growingthrough the struggle. On the flip side, pushing through, no matter how it feels, helps us develop skills, habits, and discipline.

I wake up every day knowing that I MUST produce. No excuses. No justifications. No outs. While that might feel like a lot of pressure, it's actually freeing. The expectation isn't perfect. Rather, the expectation is impact. Nothing I produce will be 100% flawless, but my prayer is that someone will be moved. That's it. There's a freedom in that. There's beauty in that.

I know many people who read this feel a similar tension about an area of their life. It's a tension that lingers in the air. It can feel immensely frustrating. It often holds us back from moving forward in the areas we're called to step into. It makes us hesitate. We relent. We doubt ourselves. We wonder if we're good enough.

You are. You are good enough. Your work is worthy. Please don't be afraid to step into that thing. You'll win. Those whom you serve will win. The world will be a better place. You got this.

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Terrible Reasons

One of my clients recently gave me the surprise of a lifetime. After making so much progress, primarily due to their sacrifice and discipline, they arrived at a coaching meeting with a new priority: purchasing a new car. And not just any car, but a $75,000 vehicle they absolutely can't afford. When I asked them what drove this recent development, one of the spouses responded, "All of our family and friends are buying new vehicles. We make good money, so we think we deserve to buy something nice, too."

That's a terrible reason to buy a new vehicle! First, I don't know the financial situation of any of their friends or family, but assuming they follow general demographic trends, they can't afford these vehicles, either. I've seen more $1,000/month vehicle payments than I care to admit, and I can testify that they are more common than most people would believe.

Just because our friends and family are making insane decisions, it doesn't mean we should follow suit. This awesome young couple is doing so well with their finances, and their impulses to keep up with the Joneses have the potential of erasing 18 months of hard-fought progress.

This is the battle we all face. Every day is a gauntlet of more. A gauntlet of comparison. A gauntlet of jealousy. A gauntlet of social media highlight reels. And every day, we must stay strong and stick to our knitting.

Sarah's vehicle has 220,000 miles, and mine has 150,000. We're about due for some new purchases. However, those purchases cannot come at the expense of our integrity, our peace, and our plan. We have specific goals for our lives, and we're not about to let a materialistic urge set us back. Instead, we're taking intentional steps each month to prepare for a vehicle transition. I can promise it's not a $75,000 transition, though. We know the budget we need to hit to thread the needle of getting what we need.....for a cost we can afford to pay in cash. It won't be the flashiest vehicle on the lot, but it will allow our family to continue down the path we're called to walk. It will allow us to walk in peace. It will allow us the margin to fight the battles that life throws at us. That, friends, is a win. Not a sexy win, but a massive, life-giving win.

Don't let the urge for more knock you off the path toward better. Don't unwind years of progress for a fleeting feeling of euphoria. It's not worth it. It's never worth it.

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