No Right Time

A young couple was hurting. Deeply in debt, tension in the marriage, and jobs they loathed. They felt stuck. They wanted a better life, but it felt utterly unattainable. After about 30 minutes, we visually mapped on the whiteboard how they could simply (but not easily) free themselves from this debt and the life they feel stuck in. All it would take is 15 months, a ton of intentionality, a dose of humility, and a bunch of discipline.

"This isn't the right time."

What do you mean this isn't the right time?!?! You are broke, miserable, and relationally hanging on by a thread. Doesn't this time seem as good as any?

"We have too much going on right now. Maybe in a year or two when things line up a little better."

That's when I had to break the news to them. There is no right time. The right time will never come. Their lives will absolutely not get easier. Nothing will line up better. This needle they are hoping to thread doesn't exist.

Literally every month of their life from here until they die will be the wrong time. If that's true, then there's no better time than now! Seriously! Regardless of what you're hoping to accomplish, there is no right time. It might seem like a better time might, possibly, perhaps, maybe be on the horizon......but it's not. There's no such thing. As such, there's no better time than the present!

This is the #1 rule when engaging in our goals, financial or otherwise. If we recognize there really isn't ever going to be a good time, then we might as well start now. Yes, today is a bad day to start; so is tomorrow. So we should probably just get started today.

I can read your mind. You have something you want to do. It's been itching at you. You desperately want to get going, but now's not the right time. I agree, it's not......but no right time will ever exist. Therefore, let's get started.

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The Wrong Question

I've seen countless machinations of this question on social media over the past few years, but here's how someone framed it on a post I stumbled upon a few days ago:

"What would you rather have, an in-person job that pays $150,000 or a work-from-home job that pays $125,000?"

I see what they are doing here. They are trying to establish the monetary value of being able to work from home, or the monetary value of not having to go into an office. When I read this, though, I feel like they are asking the wrong question.

Is working from home inherently better than working in person? Some say yes, some say no. What if one job is a soul-sucking, outside of our competencies, void of meaning (to us) job? What if one job checks every box we could possibly have when it comes to awesome work, such as values, culture, skills, meaning, and trajectory?

This takes me back to the infamous statistic showing that 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. One of the contributing factors to this phenomenon is the fact that we look at work as a necessary evil, and are willing to sell ourselves to the highest (and/or least sucky) bidder.

If we could get over the hump of treating work like a necessary evil, we would make different choices. If we would make different choices, we would end up in different places. If we would end up in different places, we would find much higher levels of meaning, satisfaction, and fulfillment in our work.

Some people may think I'm being hyperbolic here, but I've noticed a common theme over the course of hundreds of conversations with people who are weighing job options. The compensation is almost always, and oftentimes, the only factor that gets put on the table for consideration when making decisions. I always find that to be fascinating! That's when I start asking the other questions. What about the specific role? What about the values and culture of the organization? What about the upward mobility? What about the meaning you find in this opportunity?

I strongly believe that if we start asking better questions, we'll end up in better places. We can't undo all the questionable decisions we made in the past, but the next decision opportunity is right around the corner!

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Back Against The Wall

Over the last week, I've encountered several challenges in my client work where it felt like my back was against the wall. The issue was unique, material, and complex. It also required me to figure it out.....with no Plan B available. These were true back-against-the-wall, "or else" moments. To be honest, sometimes it feels like it would be easier to just throw my hands in the air and admit defeat. However, something interesting happens when our backs are against the proverbial wall: We figure it out. Somehow, some way, we work through it. I hate to admit it, but if my back wasn't against the wall, I'm not sure I would have found the way. But once I do figure it out, I will forever possess that skill for later use. Over and over and over I encounter these types of scenarios in my work.

Last night, as I was reflecting on the onslaught of back-against-the-wall challenges I've recently tackled, I thought back to when Sarah and I first got married. I had just been involuntarily relocated to a different state, and we had $236,000 of debt. The easiest path would have been to give up and succumb to the terrors in front of us. However, since our backs were against the wall and it felt like a red-alert-lockdown-type of moment, we were forced to figure it out. 4.5 years later, we were debt-free. As much as I would love to take credit for being so wise (though I clearly wasn't, as evidenced by the $236,000 of debt), it was the back-against-the-wall nature of our situation that forced us to figure it out.

No, I'm not a big fan of having my back against the wall. It sucks. It sucks on a macro level, and it sucks on a micro level. However, there's no better way to figure something out than to have no other options. While I don't wish your back to be against the wall, if you ever find yourself in that situation (or are there today!), I encourage you to use it! Use that pressure to fuel you into a better reality. Use it to aid you in your "figuring it out" stage. It's often a messy process, but it will be worth it. Also, as an added bonus, once you have figured it out, you'll possess that skill for the rest of your life! That's pretty dang cool.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some more back-against-the-wall client challenges facing me today. Wish me luck, and good luck to you as well.

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Respecting Lanes

About 15 years ago, Sarah and I were watching Netflix on the couch when I received an urgent text. It was about 1 AM, and the text was from one of my youth group kids, a 16-year-old girl. After making a few questionable decisions, she found herself in an uncomfortable position at a house party. She was somewhere between not wanting to make poor choices, scared of getting hurt, and nervous that she would end up in the car with an impaired driver. Needless to say, she was freaking out. One of my policies as a youth group leader was that if the kids ever found themselves in a tough spot, I would pick them up, no questions asked. On this particular night, she was nervous about calling her parents, so she texted me. Sarah and I jumped into the car, picked her up, and took her home.

Fast forward 15 years, I recently reached out to this young lady for advice. Yes, I was her youth group leader. Yes, I'm nearly twice her age. Yes, I walked alongside her during some of her most difficult teenage moments. But today, I need her wisdom, insights, and expertise. She works in a field that falls outside my purview, and today, I need her help.

I spent my entire life being disregarded and dismissed by the generation ahead of me. I was constantly treated like my wisdom, insights, and expertise didn't count. After all, these people were decades older than me. I was just a kid to them. What could some young dude have to offer them?!?! They were worse off for having this short-sighted perspective. I always promised myself that one day, when the roles reversed, I wouldn't do the same.

Well, as Father Time would have it, I'm no longer the youngest guy in most rooms. I now regularly find myself being on the older end of the age range in conversations. How am I doing with the promise I made myself? I suppose I need to let others answer that question for me, but considering I'm actively seeking advice from a woman whom I walked alongside during her teenage years, I'd like to think I'm succeeding.

We all have lanes. I have lanes, and you have lanes. Some of my strongest lanes revolve around the intersection of meaning, work, and money. I can help move the needle in this area of people's lives. Another lane is helping businesses gain greater clarity and control over the inner workings of their financial operations. Those are lanes I specialize in. Simultaneously, I need to recognize all the things in life that aren't my lane.

Enter my young friend. Despite being half my age, she has a wealth of knowledge in a lane where I desperately need help. I'm not going to her for career, financial, or business advice. I'm not going to her for parenting advice. I'm not going to her for marriage advice. I deeply respect her lane, and as such, I need to have the humility to allow her to speak into that area of my life.

This is a dynamic that most of us confront on a daily basis. In and out of the workplace, we constantly interact with other generations. If we simply get over ourselves and respect people's lanes, we can open ourselves up to so many wonderful things. It's not always easy, but it's always the right (and best!) thing to do.

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Silver Lining to the Memory Loss

I discovered something wild yesterday while I was working in my home office. I stumbled upon a random and mysterious yellow envelope. It had been sent through the Postal Service, but I didn't recognize it. I eagerly but nervously opened it, only to discover it housed 13 handwritten cards addressed to me.

Unreal! The cards were from high school students who attended a talk I gave on December 4th. Turns out, I received this package of cards during the stretch when I was suffering cognitive function decline and short-term memory loss as a result of a neck injury. In fact, I didn't piece this together until yesterday, but I actually gave this talk the morning of the day when my cognitive function deteriorated. I remember this talk well, but I don't recall much about a family event I attended later that evening.

As I read through the cards yesterday, I couldn't help but think how this was such beautiful timing. I've had an absolutely brutal week. It was the kind of week where one can start questioning if they are actually in the right place. Is this where I belong? Am I doing the right things? Is this where I'm meant to be?

As I opened the first card and read the generous words, those doubts I had been carrying were immediately swept away. In an instant, I was jolted back to reality, a reality where I recognize I'm exactly where I'm called to be. Following meaning is a treacherous endeavor. It sometimes means turning our backs on comfort, status, material gain, and an easier path. In its place can be uncertainty, risk, pain, frustration, and heartache.

I've been on all sides of this coin: the good, the bad, and the ugly. I've experienced comfort, status, material gain, and an easier path. I've also performed a drastic 180-degree turn and ran headfirst into uncertainty, risk, pain, frustration, and heartache. I don't claim to be a know-it-all here, but I can confidently testify that despite being the hardest seven years of my life, it's been the most rewarding, fulfilling, and impactful seven years of my life. Knowing what I know now, I'd never go back to "the old way."

I hope some of you have similar stories. If so, please share them with others. In a world that pushes one way to see the world, these stories can be powerful. On the flip side, if you don't have any of these stories, perhaps now is a great time to create them. It's not supposed to be easy, but it is supposed to be rewarding.

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If It Bleeds, It Leads

I received a text from a buddy yesterday. I haven't interacted with him much over the past six months, so he kinda caught me off guard:

"Any thoughts on why the stock market is struggling so much right now? Do you think it will continue to be bad?"

I stared at my screen for at least two minutes, trying to think of an adequate response. What in the world is he talking about?!?! My response:

"As of the closing bell last a few hours ago, the stock market is at the 12th highest price it's ever been in 155 years. What makes you think things are going so bad?"

"I've been seeing things about it on Twitter, TikTok and also the news. Everyone says it's bad and will keep being bad."

There's an old saying that's as relevant today as it was when originally coined: "If it bleeds, it leads." Fear sells. Fear triggers emotion. Emotion triggers reaction. Reaction triggers engagement. Engagement triggers revenue. Revenue triggers $. Translation: Fear = $.

We live in a fear-based society, and nowhere is this more true than in the reporting of financial markets. After all, it's really easy to report how bad things are when the market has a bad day. It's fun for the media to blast big red numbers on the screen, alongside a curated short-term graph that shows a jagged line moving in a down-and-to-the-right trajectory. Fear!

Truth is, the stock market returned 17.7% in 2025 and is up approximately 1% in this young year. The 12 best day-end stock market prices in history have all occurred in the last 31 days. Here, let me show a picture:

This is what the U.S. stock market has looked like over the past five years, yet at the same time, a huge portion of our society thinks we're in the middle of a crash. It’s literally lingering at the peak of the best price in human history, yet many people think we’re in the toilet. If it bleeds, it leads. Fear = $.

My biggest encouragement is to simply ignore the noise. We're not going to stop the media or people around us from using fear to manipulate our emotions. Therefore, we must insulate ourselves from the madness. I find it best to simply ignore it. Period. Live a meaningful life, make an impact on others, give generously, and enjoy some good food.

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E

As I sit here, my brain is completely blank. I've gotten 6 hours of sleep, combined, over the past two nights. I'm absolutely fried. The tank is on E. I have so many ideas, yet at the same time, nothing is coming out. All I can seem to think about is how important sleep is and how detrimental a lack of it can be.

The word we always use is "balance." Balance, balance, balance. Everything is about balance. I used to aggressively pursue balance, but eventually, after years and years of failure, I realized balance is a myth. Balance is something that works well on paper, but terribly in real life.

Now, I can admit that getting 6 hours of sleep over two nights is never a good thing. You got me on that one. However, setting my extreme example aside, it never feels like life is balanced. Rather, it's a perpetual swinging of the pendulum from one side to the other. We're either unbalanced one way, or unbalanced the other way.

There's nothing wrong with this. In fact, I'd argue it's a healthy and normal rhythm of life. It doesn't mean we shouldn't try to maintain a healthy lifestyle; instead, it means we should simply give ourselves more grace while we try to figure it out. Every day, week, month, and season is different, and each deserves its own rhythm. We should try to embrace it for whatever it is, wherever that pendulum falls.

I'm sure my life will be perpetually unbalanced one way or another, but I hope to go easy on myself as I navigate that journey the best I can. For now, though, I'm gonna try to get some shut-eye.

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3 Men, 3 Mindsets

Today's post is inspired by a recent piece written by my great friend, Gary Hoag. If you're a longtime reader of this blog, you probably know that Gary is the inspiration and encouragement behind this blog. If you didn't know that, now you do! In either case, you should totally subscribe to Gary's daily writings.

An excerpt from Gary's recent article:

"A story is told of a visitor to London during the time of the construction of St. Paul's Cathedral, the architect of which was Sir Christopher Wren. The visitor stopped at the construction site and asked some of the workmen what they were doing. One said, 'I am working to get money to keep my family.' Another said, 'I am working here because it is the kind of work I have been trained to do.' A third man said, 'I am helping Sir Christopher Wren build a great cathedral.'"

Three different men, three different mindsets. All things being equal, I think we can assume that all three of these men were doing similar work and earning similar wages. However, they might as well have been living on different planets. Each of these men woke up in the morning, got dressed, commuted to work, and started their workday. All three of their daily routines might have also looked similar to one another.

What happened when they got to the worksite, though, is where everything changed. Sure, they were performing the same work, but the mindset behind said work changes everything.

• One man was there because work is a necessary evil.

• One man was there to put his training and skills into practice.

• One man was there to make an impact.

Three men, three mindsets.

All work matters. Your work matters! Regardless of what you're doing today, your work matters. You might make the same dollar amount regardless of your mindset (I would argue even that's up for debate), but there's no doubt which mindset will drain our tank and which mindset will satiate something deep within us. Same paycheck, drastically different experience.

We can talk all we want about our work not having to have meaning, but considering we spend half our waking hours at work, feeling meaning in our work makes a world of difference in our journey. It has the power to turn terrible into okay, okay into good, and good into great. It puts an extra pep in our step, makes the tough moments worthwhile, and juices up the wins. Regardless of what work I'm performing, I want to be more like the third man. "I am helping Sir Christopher Wren build a great cathedral."

Meaning is a choice. Apathy is a choice. Impact is a choice. Misery is a choice. Choose wisely.

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Like an Oncoming Freight Train

I usually see the criticism coming! Most days, when I hit "publish," I know whether or not to brace myself for the backlash. Over the last five years of writing and podcasting, I feel like I have my finger well-placed on the pulse of oncoming anger. Well, I whiffed this week. A few days ago, I wrote a piece about how I put my kids in positions where failure is very much on the table. Here's one specific quote from that piece:

"My kids get sick of me talking about the pursuit of failure; I celebrate it. I applaud them each time they give something their best shot and subsequently fall flat on their face."

I celebrate my kids' failure!?!? Yes, correct; it’s fantastic! I don't revel in their misery or something twisted like that, but I celebrate the act of taking risks, failing, and getting back up. It builds character, grit, and perseverance. In a world that tells parents to protect their kids from failure, I'm leading my children into it like an oncoming freight train.

I'll take this sentiment one step further. I'd rather my two boys fail at every single dream and calling in their lives than to achieve success in something they don't give a rip about. I don't yet know what their dreams will be, but I'd rather they completely bomb in their relentless pursuit of them than take the easy way out and pursue a "safe" or "normal" path for the sake of avoiding failure.

Regret is the worst feeling in the world.....even worst than failure. Regret is looking back and wishing we had tried, while failure is knowing we gave it our best shot and it didn't work out. If those are my two options, give me the pain of failure every day of the week!

I hope my kids are tremendously successful in whatever they do, but I promise you (and them), I will root them on to relentlessly pursue their dreams and callings at every step of the way, even in the presence of painful, agonizing, gut-wrenching failure.

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A Question From Mr. Clear

In doing some research for a potential project, I stumbled upon a Tweet yesterday afternoon. James Clear, the author of the best-selling phenomenon book, Atomic Habits, asked a profoundly meaty question:

This falls in line with my ongoing messaging about budgeting: "It's not about spending less, but rather spending better." We need to lean harder into the things that add value to our lives while simultaneously turning our backs on the things that don't. That's the recipe for finding more meaning in our money.

When I see families exhausted and frustrated by their finances, it almost always includes their unintentional spending on things that don't actually matter to them. Consequently, they don't have the resources to spend on things they actually care about. It's the ultimate emotional drain.

However, when we can be laser-focused on what actually matters to us, blocking out all the noise around us, it oftentimes feels like we got a raise. Further, life just feels better when our resources go toward valuable things. There's no worse feeling than spinning our tires by spending all our hard-earned income on stuff that doesn't move the needle in our lives.

I'll answer Mr. Clear's questions, but after I do, I challenge you to answer them for yourself.

What single expense in my life delivers the least amount of happiness per dollar spent?

• This might be an unpopular opinion in my house, but some of our streaming services. If it were up to me, we'd justhave YouTubeTV and Netflix.....that's it. However, because x show is on y platform, we subscribe to y platform. And z show is on b platform, we subscribe to b platform. In my mind, this is one of the least effective categories in our budget.

• If this is true, I should probably engage Sarah about this and see how important it is to her (and how important it is for me to push back on).

What single expense in my life delivers the most amount of happiness per dollar spent?

• Dining out, and there's not a close second. I so cherish the time our family spends dining out, whether it's a quick meal with the kids or a date night with Sarah.

• The other one I was debating was Travel, but on a dollar-for-dollar basis, dining out offers a far higher return.

• If this is true, it would argue that we should consider increasing our dining out category each month. I think we skimp on this one far too often.

Your turn.

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The Endless Pursuit of Better

We had our first official full-day experiment with our canned drink concept at Northern Vessel last week. To say people were excited would be a gross understatement. I could figuratively see people's brains melting before my eyes. Needless to say, the overwhelming feedback tells us we're on the right track.

To summarize, we're trying to innovate the way we serve our customers. About 70% of our beverages are served iced, even in the dead of winter. Instead of serving our iced drinks in traditional cups, we're piloting a process to can handmade drinks on the fly. Here's what it looks like in action:

I firmly believe this will be one of the most revolutionary things we've ever done at NV. It will have ripple effects that I don't yet even know about. Can you tell I'm excited?!?!

One of my friends happened to stop by the shop on that canning test day. He sent me the following text several hours later: "What's the point in doing this? You're already the best coffee shop in the state....probably the Midwest. Why rock the boat?"

Whether we're the best shop in the state or region is entirely up for debate. That's what we desire to be, but it's obviously a subjective topic. However, it's clear we've carved out some level of success. If that's true, "why rock the boat?" as my friend so bluntly inquired?

I've received this question countless times over the past 3+ years since we began building NV into what it is today. "It's good enough" is another way it's often phrased.

All this brings me back to an idea I can't let go of: The endless pursuit of better. If there's a better way to do something, don't we owe it to those we serve to find it? If our drinks can be better, why not serve them better drinks? If the experience can be enhanced, why not provide it? Sure, there's a "normal" way to do things in every industry. But sometimes, we need to look past normal and find "better."

All of us have things in our day-to-day lives that fall into the "good enough" camp. It's good enough, and good enough is good enough. But what if we could find a better way? A better way to do the laundry. A better way to handle our money. A better way to get to work. A better way to serve our clients. A better way to keep the madness in order. Better is better. This isn't about lack of contentment, but rather a deep-seated desire to grow, improve, and make a more impactful difference in the world.

Back to the canned drinks. Why would we blow up our entire workflow, increase our COGS (cost of goods sold), lower our gross margins, further constrain our already-tight dry storage capacity, and risk losing customers when we've already established ourselves as "successful"? Because our guests deserve better, and we firmly believe this will provide a better overall experience.

I invite you into the endless pursuit of better….in all you do. It's a fun and humbling journey, but we ALWAYS end up better for it.

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Scared of the Medicine

As yesterday unfolded, I kept coming up with new ideas for today's post. I have so many things to write about. I could write about this, or maybe that. What about that really cool thing that happened? Oh, wait, what about this other thing? Needless to say, my brain melted.

Considering I publish every day, I have plenty of time to unpack these stories in the coming days/weeks. One thread seemed to weave through each of my ideas, though: Failure.

On the whole, we humans are terrified of failure. We're scared enough that we go to great lengths to avoid it. We'd rather not pursue something we want out of fear that we might not get it. See the irony in that? We regularly accept a 0% chance of success in xyz goal because not even trying feels better than trying and failing.

Here's the wild part about failure. Failure isn't the manifestation of a loss. It's not some finality that ends the story. Rather, failure is the admission price to success. Failure isn't losing.....it's a necessary step toward the victory we seek.

Yesterday, I watched the product of failure. In multiple situations, I saw pain turn into glory, fear into joy, and terror into confidence. My kids get sick of me talking about the pursuit of failure; I celebrate it. I applaud them each time they give something their best shot and subsequently fall flat on their face. It's never fun in the moment, but that's where our character and grit are built. Not only do I not shield my kids from failure, but I put them in situations to fail.

I want to unpack this idea more in the coming days, but until I do, just know that we've had a LOT of failure over here in the Shelton household. And that, friends, is where the beauty comes from. I can't wait to share those stories soon!

Here are three questions for you to sit on today:

1. Where have you let fear of failure hold you back from doing something that mattered?

2. When have you shielded your kids from potential failure?

3. How might these situations played out differently if instead of trying to avoid failure, we chased it?

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100% Ours

Tempers were flaring, f-bombs were tossed like hand grenades, and the occasional tears arose. This was the scene of a recent sit-down I had with a struggling couple. The subject matter: the income differential between the two spouses. More specifically, how the couple makes financial decisions given their income differential.

Here's the high-level summary of the situation:

• Husband makes 70% of the income, and the wife makes 30%.

• The husband handles the day-to-day finances.

• The husband's income pays for the family's needs, and the wife's income pays for the wants (travel, dining out, entertainment, etc.).

• The husband spends anything he wants, but gives his wife "an allowance." After all, she only makes 30% of the family's income.....so this is generous (his words, not mine).

• Every time there's an argument, the husband throws out the trump card: "I make more than twice as much as you, so I get to make the call."

As the conversation unfolded, the husband realized I must have had a look of disgust on my face at the words coming out of his mouth. He seemed surprised. After all, he knew that I was the breadwinner in my marriage. As such, I would naturally align with him, right?

By my records, I made 98.5% of our family's income in 2025. Translation: My marriage is far more unbalanced than his. With that context in mind, I explained to them (mostly him) that their way of handling finances is beyond toxic. They are keeping score with money and using it as a weapon. Further, their dumb idea of allocating her income to wants meant that if she ever wanted to take a different job or stay at home, she would be solely responsible for ripping all enjoyment and adventure from the family. Gross.

I may make 98.5% of my family's income, but our income is 100% "ours." Not mine. Not mostly mine. Ours. Everything Sarah and I make is viewed as a collective pot for us to manage together. Yes, I do the day-to-day finances. Yes, I createthe first draft of the monthly budget. Yes, I have more financial expertise than her. However, she ALWAYS has a 50/50 say in all we do. In fact, early in my marriage, I promised myself that I would never get more monthly personal spending money than she does. She would always get the same as me....or more on some occasions.

Something powerful happens when couples view money as a collective pot. It allows a full integration of life and decision-making. This income isn't for this, and that income isn't for that. It's just money in and money out. We're both called to different work in our lives, and in this season, my work provides 98.5% of our income. That doesn't make her less valuable or less impactful. It just means my work pays more. Sarah is impacting the world in different ways; important ways.

Whatever income dynamic you have in your marriage, I strongly (STRONGLY!!!) encourage you to adopt a "100% ours" mentality. You're a team, not a competition. Be in this together, side by side.

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“Mom, Can You Take Me To Wal-Mart?”

Finn steps into Sarah's SUV after a long day of 3rd-grade life. He heaves his bookbag over his shoulder, then slings his coat. It's finally time for him to relax, grab a snack, and do his typical Finny things. This day, though, he requested a detour: "Mom, can you take me to Wal-Mart?"

As you can imagine, Sarah was quite confused by this out-of-nowhere request. Naturally, she asked him why. "Because I want to buy you a birthday gift with my money."

Wow. Just wow. After Sarah squeegied her melted heart off the floor, she happily obliged. As they roamed the aisles of Wal-Mart, Finn made sure Sarah maintained a healthy distance (so as not to spoil her surprise). He took his time, weighed his options, and then eventually made his selection.

Now, the even more adult part: making the purchase. With Sarah still removed from the scene, Finn approached the check-out line in what must have resembled the grocery store scene from Home Alone. Finn pulled out his wallet, inserted his debit card, and entered the PIN he had spent much time memorizing. Boom! Little Finn had completed his mission!

It wasn't until 24 hours later that the rest of the family learned what he spent his hard-earned money on:

Well done, Finny, well done! He's not always a little gentleman, but when he does, he gentlemans well.

Parents, keep having discussions with your kids about money. Working, spending, saving, and giving. All of it matters. It will rarely go exactly the way you hope it will, but in the long run, you'll see little glimmers of promise. That pretty little necklace Finn bought for his mom is one of those glimmers. He worked hard, earned money, managed it well, enjoyed some wants for himself, and used some to buy his mom a present. Proud of that little dude.

Keep going. Don't give up. This next generation is counting on us to prepare them to leave the world better than they found it. Let's teach them well and lead by example.

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A Nasty Coke Habit

One of my friends recently threw an interesting question at me. He has a Coke habit. No, not kind of coke…..he has the Coca-Cola variety of habit. Every single workday, he buys a bottle of Coke from the vending machine when he gets to work. $2.50/bottle. This habit drives his wife nuts. First, why does he need a bottle of Coke every day?!?! Second, if he's going to buy a bottle of Coke, why does he need to buy it from a vending machine?!?!

I'm going to set aside any health-related considerations and focus solely on the economic/behavioral factors. Why does he need a Coke each day? Well, why do I drink a cup of black coffee every day? Why does my buddy Evan eat a little cup of yogurt (with chocolate chips) each day? Why does my son Finn eat popcorn every day after school? Because some habits help us create an enjoyable rhythm to life. A familiarity. A comfort. None of these things are needs; they are wants. For me, there's nothing more enjoyable than savoring a steaming mug of black coffee shortly after I wake up. It's a staple habit of my day. Regardless of the cost, this small, repeatable habit adds significant value to my life. My friend's bottle of Coke falls into that same camp. It gives him something to look forward to. 

But what about the vending machine? Why wouldn't he just buy a case of bottles at Costco, then bring one to work each day? After all, that would make a lot more economic sense. He couldn't justify himself (to the ire of his wife), but I immediately spotted it. The ritual of buying his drink means way more than he realizes. The walk to the machine, the conversation he has with his friend while at the machine, the sound of clicking quarters, watching the bottle tumble down to the chute, and extracting the ice-cold bottle from the little door. Further, this little ritual isn't simply a ritual; it's a trigger. The moment he practices his ritual is a proverbial switch flipping in him. That's the moment he shifts from his personal self to his professional self. It's game time! He's ready to tackle the day.

Without realizing it, he long ago established a trigger that lets him turn on the engine. He's amazing at his job, and I would argue that this practice has played a positive role in his journey. By my math, he spends north of $600/year on this "dumb habit," as his wife refers to it. In my opinion, though, it might be one of the best financial investments in his life. A simple joy, a tangible trigger, a moment of normalcy. I'm not a pop drinker, but I think it's pretty dang cool. 

I have a few similar habits in my life, and perhaps you do, too. Whatever they are, I encourage you to not unfairly judge them as "wastes" or "irresponsible." Each of us needs to find a rhythm that allows us to experience normalcy, meet a simple want, and act as a trigger to something even more important in the journey. 

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Grocery Carts and Little Signals

Several years ago, I ran into a colleague at the grocery store check-out line. This colleague was well known in the community as a generous person. This struck me as odd, as my gut feeling toward him was that he was a complete jerk. Perhaps I was being too judgmental.

A few minutes after our brief encounter, I walked out of the store and into the parking lot. Though there were many cars, it felt quiet out there. As I approached my car, I realized my colleague was parked directly beside my car. When he pulled away, I discovered that he left his grocery cart immediately behind my car! There was a grocery cart return station 20 feet from our cars, but he decided to just haphazardly disregard his cart out in the open?!?!

Ever since that day, I've thought a lot about how people handle themselves with grocery carts. In my mind, a person's decision in that moment can be an interesting glimpse into their character. How we treat people and the world around us when nobody is looking is telling.

Since that original grocery cart incident, my obsession with watching people's grocery cart decisions has sparked so many new stories. After nearly 10 years of thinking too much about this topic, I can confidently say that people who haphazardly disregard grocery carts make terrible friends. Conversely, you know who I love to spend time with? The people who not only return carts to the return station, but also slide the cart all the way into the preceding cart, thereby making the worker's job that much easier. Those people are the best!

In a world with so much noise, I think it's important to pick up on the little signals of life. It's easy to put on a loving face when the lights are shining and people are looking, but how do we treat others when there's no attention to be gained or reputation to protect? Those are the moments that tell us everything we need to know.

I don't know about you, but engaging with people behind the scenes, in life's smallest moments, is one of my favorite things in the world. I love how, after I interact with someone, my kids ask, "Do you know that person?!?!" No, bud, we should just be loving to everyone, whether we know them or not. Those are my moments. That's when I feel most alive and most capable of moving the needle in my day-to-day life.

Today's takeaways:

• Love people well.....especially when no one's watching.

• Find meaning in the small moments.

• Spot the little signals that tell you about someone's character.

• Put your shopping cart away.

• Don't hang out with people who don't.

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Blind Spots, In Action

Yesterday's post was on the spicier side, not because of my words, but because of the overarching subject matter. Several of my friends reached out yesterday (in love) to suggest I stay clear of these types of topics and instead keep my focus on my core mission. If you stuck with me and you're back today, I hope you'll see how it all fits together.

"Our blind spots are killing us. They are killing our relationships, our personal growth, and our success." Those were some of my parting words in yesterday's post. Despite clear evidence right in front of us, we humans tend to see only what we want to see.

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Many years ago, one of my young friends was struggling to land a good job. He was extraordinarily bright, charming, and driven. In his words, he was "overqualified" for all the jobs he was applying for, thus resulting in him being repeatedly turned down for job opportunities. In a fun little twist of circumstances, my team was hiring, and I thought he might be a good fit. I invited him to apply, and he eagerly obliged.

The interview was a disaster. While he was, in fact, a bright, charming, and driven young man, he came across as arrogant, condescending, and entitled. He presented himself as a know-it-all, made terrible eye contact, and overall, lacked professionalism.

Needless to say, he didn't get hired. The entire situation was a dumpster fire. On the heels of this debacle, he again lamented to me about how he's simply too "overqualified" for most jobs, and he's a victim of his elevated abilities. When I shared some feedback from the interview process, he immediately dismissed me, seeing only what he wanted to see. If he could overcome his blind spots, he would have easily been able to develop his interview skills, allowing his true giftedness an opportunity to flourish.

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In the past few years, I've met with countless young couples who are struggling with their finances. As we work through the numbers and their personal financial situations, they offer their perspective on what's happening: "The Boomers have ruined our economy, and it's nearly impossible for our generation to succeed. The entire system is stacked against us, and nobody gives a s#$t." The exact words of one of these disgruntled people.

Translation: they are victims of overarching systemic issues. Inflation, high housing prices, a tough job market, stagnant wages.....the list goes on. While I'm not arguing that these things do or don't exist, I think there's more to the story.

Here's what I uncovered. Their financial lives were comprised of a series of terrible and destructive decisions. They've structured their lives in such a way that they constantly back themselves into financial corners. However, since they only see what they want to see, they are blind (and defiant) to these dynamics. If they could overcome their blind spots, they could easily gain control of their finances and set themselves free from the misery that's been bestowed upon them.

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Lastly, I'll share the story of Sam. Like millions of Americans, Sam is in tens of thousands of dollars of consumer debt...$59,000 to be exact. Credit cards, car loans, student loans. Everything he's been told his whole life indicates he's screwed, and there's no way out. A debt-filled life is inevitable. I walked him through a simple but effective process that would free him from all this debt within 24 hours. "Impossible!" The black-and-white numbers said it was doable, but he saw only evidence of the doomed nature of his life. If he could overcome his blind spots, he could transform his life.

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These blind spots are so very real. They aren't just costing us dollars and cents; they are costing us our freedom, our dreams, our callings, and our meaning. Please don't allow your blind spots rob you of what could otherwise be something truly special.

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Massive Blind Spots

Before I dive in, I need to clarify one thing. This post is NOT political. In fact, my goal is for you not to know which side of the fence I sit on by the time you finish this piece. Please remember this as you continue.

By now, most people have probably heard about and watched the video footage from the horrific incident that took place last week in Minneapolis. Just to be clear, what I'm talking about is a situation where an ICE agent shot and killed a woman in a vehicle. Regardless of your leanings, this incident was tragic. Many lives have and will be ruined as a result of this event.

Once again, this is another story that has ripped the country in half. Anger, resentment, vengeance, and all sorts of negative feelings are stirring all around us. Immediately after the story broke, people made up their minds about the "truth." Without knowing anything, people already knew what happened......and coincidentally, the "truth" about what happened aligns perfectly with their prevailing beliefs.

In the following days, more information and video footage of the event surfaced. All this new information filled in the gaps and provided more clarity on the truth. Something interesting happened, though. Despite having even more information, people were as split as ever about the "truth." One person could watch all the video footage and conclude one "truth," and another person could watch all the video footage and conclude a completely different "truth." To one person, the footage proves the shooting victim was 100% innocent, and it's an open-and-shut case of corrupt and evil law enforcement. To another person, the very same footgate proves the law enforcement agent was 100% innocent, and it's an open-and-shut case of the natural consequences of domestic terrorism.

How can we all watch the exact same video footage and reach polar-opposite verdicts? Because we humans ultimately see what we want to see. If we want to see corrupt law enforcement, we'll see corrupt law enforcement. If we want to see domestic terrorism, we'll see domestic terrorism. We'll absorb the facts and details that support our already-held beliefs while disregarding, dismissing, or minimizing the facts that may be contrary to what we want to believe.

I shared this idea with a handful of friends over the past few days. Every single person, without fail, explained to me that I was wrong and tried to convince me that their perspective was the absolute "truth"......and these were people on polar opposite sides from each other. See the irony here?

Life is full of nuance. If all we do is look for the facts to support what we already want to be true (which, again, is a subconscious phenomenon), we're doomed. We're doomed on a relational level, we're doomed on a personal growth level, and we're doomed on a success level. Our blind spots will crush us, either drip by drip or quite violently.

I certainly don't always get this right, but man, I try to be aware. Very few things in life are 100%/0%….the truth typically lives somewhere in the middle. We all have massive blind spots. I encourage you to find yours, and in the meantime, I'll continue seeking mine.

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Got a Secret to Tell Ya

Today is your lucky day, as I got a secret to tell ya. Ready for it? Okay, here goes. You know all the people in your life who look wealthy? They probably aren't. In fact, most people who look wealthy are far from it. I've worked with hundreds of families over the years, and this is a common and predictable theme.

They might have a lifestyle that suggests they are wealthy, but, in a fun twist of irony, these perceptions they create are among the factors that keep them from actually being wealthy. Cars, houses, clothes, trips, toys, technology, clubs....each of these externally facing expenditures puts pressure on finances (never mind the debt). Translation: In an attempt to look wealthy, people often sabotage the finances that might lead them to actually become wealthy.

I have a bonus secret for you! You know all the people around you who are just living normal underwhelming lives? A good chunk of those families are actually wealthy. They don't care what you, me, or anyone else thinks of them. They don't need to show off. They don't need to portray a certain image. They simply take care of their business and keep their heads down. These also happen to be the most generous people, too, as they don't feel the need to selfishly spend all the money on themselves.

Next time you see one of your friends, family, co-workers, or neighbors and think to yourself, "man, I wish I were as wealthy as they are," you might already be. You might think you want their financial life, but if you were to see what's on the other side of that curtain, it might make you grateful for the life you do have.

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Under Our Noses

Do you ever feel like you don't have much, if any, financial margin in your month-to-month life? I've felt that way at times, and I regularly meet people who believe the same.

I could tell countless stories about this idea, but instead, I'll share one specific encounter I recently had that perfectly sums up today's point. Here's the context:

• Husband and wife, both late 30s.

• Three young children.

• Monthly take-home income of around $9,000.

• They have a mortgage and one medium-sized car loan.

• Constant frustration and tension in the marriage since there isn't margin to do the things they really care about.

We spent about an hour going through their budget. Sure enough, there really isn't any margin once everything is accounted for. Or is there?

What I often find is that even when people don't believe they have margin, they actually do have margin right under their noses. It's sneaky. Category by category, I whiteboarded all the components of margin I saw in their financial life.

• $800 worth of dining out each month.

• $175 worth of streaming services each month.

• $500 worth of combined personal spending each month.

• $500-$750 worth of travel each month.

So while finances feel tight and there doesn't appear to be margin, they DO have margin. However, they've just chosen (whether consciously or subconsciously) to use that margin to fill the above-referenced categories. In total, they had approximately $2,200/month of actual margin.

My challenge to them was to look in the mirror and sincerely ask themselves what they wanted to do with that margin. It's okay to do what they are already doing, but it's not okay to whine about it and feel like a victim. If they are a victim of anything, it's of their own choices. Therefore, let's make sure we're making rock-solid choices.

I didn't share this with them to guilt them or embarrass them. Rather, I wanted them to see just how truly blessed they are. Second, I wanted them to embrace this opportunity to add the most value to their lives.

After multiple conversations, they reoriented where some of their monthly cashflow was going. This month, they don't feel nearly as stressed. They don't feel like victims. They don't feel like they are on the outside of their dreams, looking in. They recognize the margin they do have, and they are embracing the opportunity to harness it well. Beautiful!

It's a fantastic exercise. I encourage you to try it for yourself!

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