It’s Not Fair

Pax was visibly shaken after watching Tyrese Haliburton go down early in game 7 last night. Haliburton, a former Cyclone and clearly the most clutch player in this year's NBA Playoffs, was lying on the floor in agonizing pain after tearing his Achilles. He immediately knew he was done (plus next season as well). In that moment, the Pacers' chance of winning a title essentially evaporated. 

Pax is right; it's not fair. It was a good teaching moment. It's not fair, and it never will be. Still, Pax was dumbfounded by how quickly everything changed. He went from believing Haliburton was about to win a title to knowing he probably won't see him play again until he's 10 (in October 2026 when the following season starts). It's not fair.

We didn't get too deep into it last night, but this is something he'll see more and more as he grows. Life isn't fair, and there's nothing he can do about it. As a parent, my job is to teach him to simply fight through the inequity, no matter what. Sure, be mad about the unfairness. Yeah, feel frustrated by it. But after that, fight. We fight, or we cower. We push ahead, or we step aside. We persevere, or we give up.

This is going to be a brutal experience for my kids. Time and time again, they will get a front-row seat at how unfair life is. My job isn't to protect them from it, but rather, to train them to push through it. As a parent, watching them deal with unfairness may be one of the hardest things I ever experience. However, it's critical we teach them through it, not try to help them avoid it.

This is something I watch play out in people's lives daily. It's somewhat easy to find success when things are going our way. Then, something happens. Something unfair. We unjustly lose our job. Someone rips us off. An irresponsible driver totals our car. How we handle these unfair situations is what determines if we'll ultimately be successful or not. This is where the rubber meets the road.

It's not a matter of whether we can get to the other side of this adventure without experiencing unfairness. That's an impossible task! Instead, what matters most is how we respond when life gets unfair. That's what I want to teach my kids. We will be closely watching Haliburton's journey back to the court. I have a feeling it will be an inspiring example of what it looks like to attack unfairness head-on.

Life isn't fair. It doesn't owe us anything. We will draw the short straw more times than we'd like to believe. It's all part of the game. Keep fighting.

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I Don’t Support Him At All

Out of the blue, I received a DM from one of the most successful business owners I know. She wanted to know if I could connect her with the marketing agency we use at Northern Vessel for our photography. She loves our content and desires a similar vibe for one of her businesses. I told her I'd be honored to connect her, but we don't use an agency. It's just one young man named Noah; he's awesome, and I'd love to make an introduction.

I told this story to a few friends, and one of them responded, "I'm so glad you're supporting a small business like that. I'm sure Noah loves your support."

If you're a regular blog reader, you probably already know where this is going.

"Oh, I don't support him at all!"

"Wait, I thought you and Noah are friends....."

"We are friends, but Noah doesn't need my 'support.' He does awesome work, and that's all that matters. I’m just connecting one excellent business to another excellent business that might be able to serve the other well.”

"But people like him need support from us. It's the only way they can make it."

"That's ridiculous....and demeaning. He doesn't need people's support. He just needs to be excellent at his craft. His excellence is what makes it for him, and his excellence is the only reason I referred him to a friend. He earned that."

We can pursue support, or we can pursue excellence. Noah never asked for my support; he's too busy trying to be excellent. Noah is just a young man with a lot of talent and a crapload of passion. He's so hungry to do good work! If he wasn't excellent, my business owner friend would never have asked me for a referral, and if he wasn't excellent, I would never have given it. Noah earned that, and to assume anything else is an insult to his good work.

We all have the opportunity to be Noah today. The fruit of our actions will speak for itself. The conversations we foster, the art we create, the work we produce, and the results that materialize. Nothing good that happens to me today will be the product of someone's "support," and neither will yours. Therefore, I encourage you to abolish the word "support" and simply embrace the word "excellence."

Oh yeah, and if you're stopping by the Northern Vessel shop or our booth at the Des Moines Farmers' Market today and see a young man snapping photos, say hello! Noah would love to meet you.

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Bohemian Rhapsody and Umbrellas

"Dad, can you take me to buy an umbrella?"

"Uh, sure, Finn, we can do that. Why do you want an umbrella?"

"Every man needs an umbrella."

I didn't have a comeback for that, but if the little man wants an umbrella, I'll take him to buy an umbrella. This is what I call closing the loop. First, we work. The work results in money. Part of the money is given. Some of the money is spent. Repeat. Work = money = generosity/spending.

So, if Finny wants to spend some of his money on an umbrella, that's how we're going to close this loop. Truthfully, he's worked hard this summer. Lots of mowing and other odd jobs. Hot, sweaty, sucky jobs. He doesn't always love the work, but he appreciates what it stands for.

So, when ol' Finn wants to jump in the car and go to the umbrella store, we ride! He was so proud of his new umbrella, but as we walked out of the store, he asked another question. "Is there anywhere I can buy a Queen CD?" Yes, an 8-year-old wanted to buy a 70s album.......in CD form. As a matter of fact, I did know a place where we could potentially score a Queen CD. Fifteen minutes later, we were rocking out to some Bohemian Rhapsody.

Closing the loop is so important, and on that day, Finn closed the loop in style!

Work = money = generosity/spending.

Work = money = generosity/spending.

Work = money = generosity/spending.

And the repetition continues.

Parents, keep at it. It won't always go perfectly (I'll talk about Pax another day....). Some loops will be effective, and some will flop. Some loops will be rewarding, and some will be a drag. But the loops matter, and the kids are learning (even when it doesn't seem like it).

Go create some loops with your kids today!

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It’s Noisy Out There

Is it just me, or does the world feel extra noisy these days? I don't even need to inventory all the crazy situations and scenarios playing out locally, nationally, or globally. Things are intense right now! People are anxious and scared, and it feels like the ratchet is turning ever so, tightening our society one click at a time.

In just the past week, I've talked to multiple people (sane, normal, rational people) who are starting to unwind. The fear of the what-if has taken its toll, and that anxiety is manifesting in questionable decisions.

I think we need to stay true to the plan. Whatever your plan is, stay true. Now is not the time to throw your goals, plans, progress, and ideas into the trash. No rash decisions are necessary. You've worked too hard to let a moment of weakness or vulnerability cause it all to unravel.

If you're paying off debt, keep going.

If you're trying to top off your emergency fund, keep going.

If you're trying to lean into generosity, keep going.

If you're trying to lock in your investing behavior, keep going.

If you're trying to get on the same page as your spouse, keep going.

If you're trying to pursue work that matters, keep going.

If you're trying to create something beautiful, keep going.

Please, please, please don't let the noise around you knock you off course. Stay true. Practice the art of discipline, consistency, and persistence. The noise we're experiencing may create challenges in some form or fashion, but it doesn't define you. Even if other people set a torch to their finances, dreams, goals, progress, and relationships, it doesn't mean you have to. Stay true.

It's noisy out there. Don't let it overwhelm you. You got this.

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More Chapters To Be Written

Father's Day, 2016. That was an epic day for me. After nearly five years of waiting to become a father, I was about to spend Father's Day as an actual dad.....unreal! It was a moment I had dreamt about my entire life, and now it was here! My son was born three days before Father's Day, the perfect timing! Everything was lining up just right.

Did I say Father's Day 2016 was epic? Let me rephrase that. It was an epically bad day.....one of the worst days of my life! When I woke up on Father's Day, I wasn't a father. Just two days prior, Sarah and I lost our son, Asher. In a stretch of just 48 hours, I went from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. Instead of spending Father's Day 2016 celebrating the miracle of life, I remember sitting in my typical front-row seat at church, head buried in my hands. Those 60 minutes in that church seat on Father's Day 2016 are some of the most painful and profoundly memorable moments of my life.

As with everything in life, there were only two options: 1) Let our new reality destroy us (which it almost did), or 2) Keep moving forward. We chose to keep moving forward. It was a mess, but with a lot of support and healing, we navigated through that season of life.

Just four months later, we were blessed with our twin sons, Finn and Pax, and life has never been the same. Despite the pain and suffering we've endured, I consider myself so blessed. I have nothing but gratitude, though I'd be lying if I said I don't still feel the pain of that prior loss. It's all part of the story.

Think about your favorite book or movie. I'm willing to bet the protagonist wins in the end. Victory, happiness, love, or defeating the bad guys. The hero always wins....eventually. However, if you open the book to almost any page in the middle, there's struggle, challenge, pain, suffering, and tension. The protagonist is fighting their battles, trying to achieve what will eventually end happily ever after.

While real life isn't "happily ever after," it does resemble a book. Wherever we're at in life, there are still more chapters to be written. Some of you are dealing with tremendous pain and suffering right now. I'm so sorry! But more chapters are still to be written.

I have clients facing unprecedented challenges and tension in their lives (financial and otherwise). I constantly remind them this is just one chapter of a beautiful story. And like all protagonists seeking their victory, this is their middle chapter, tension-building, gut-wrenching moment. This is where they have a choice: 1) Let their new reality destroy them, or 2) Keep moving forward.

Wherever you're at today, choose door #2. Keep moving forward. Remember that whatever you're experiencing in this season of life is just one of many chapters still to be written.

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Whole Isn’t Whole

I often receive a handful of related comments whenever I talk about the need to be excellent:

• Everyone makes mistakes.

• Where's the room for grace?

• Nobody's perfect.

• S*** happens.

All good points, but today, I want to debunk this argument.

How would you feel? You're dining at a well-respected restaurant with your family. One of your small children orders chicken. However, when the dish arrives, you cut into it and realize the chicken is completely raw. The server apologizes and says they will send out a new one. The new one eventually arrives, fully cooked, and the rest of the meal is largely uneventful. Other than (eventually) replacing the raw chicken dish with a cooked one, no other concessions are made. How would you feel?

How would you feel? A landscaping company is at your house doing some work. For whatever reason, a mistake is made, and they nick your irrigation line. The business owner apologizes and says they will have a professional repair it at no cost to you. How would you feel?

How would you feel to be on the receiving end of these two situations? Well, these are both real-life scenarios that played out last week, and in each, the customer was livid. The restaurant customer is a close friend, and the landscaping company business owner is also a friend. Why would both of these situations end poorly? After all, both customers were made whole.

Whole is not whole, that's why. When a mistake is made, whole isn't enough. Excellence doesn't mean perfection. Excellence doesn't mean we won't make mistakes. Excellence means being better and doing better in all things, including on the heels of mistakes. You WILL screw up. You WILL fail. You WILL botch it. The mistake isn't what defines you; it's how you respond after the mistake that separates excellence from bleh.

In both situations, the business owner should have made the customer whole......PLUS another step.

For my buddy that received raw chicken, maybe the restaurant comps that dish and throws in a dessert. Maybe they comp the entire meal. Maybe they give them a gift card on the way out the door. Whole is not whole, and they blew an opportunity to send my friend away with an amazing story of excellence (plus many return visits).

For my buddy who made a mistake on the landscaping job, he, too, had options. Maybe he could have offered a discount on the job. Or perhaps hand the homeowner a handwritten card with a restaurant gift card in it. Or offered a complimentary follow-up service. Whole is not whole, and he missed an opportunity to create a lifelong customer. He’s a young business owner, and I think he’s going to nail this one next time!

This isn't a blog about IF you make a mistake. It's only a matter of WHEN you do. It's coming. You might even screw up today......I'm sure I will! Excellence isn't defined by how little we mess up. Rather, it's about how we respond when we do. Whole is not whole. Take one more step!

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Destroy the Bar

My friend was beyond frustrated. He had just fired an employee, but right before that, another stopped showing up. My buddy owns a successful landscaping company. "Travis, if you know anyone who wants to work, let me know. We pay good money."

"You bet," I responded. "What particular skills are you looking for?"

"Someone who will show up and show up on time. That's it. We can teach the rest."

The bar has never been lower. In a field that requires certain skills, my business owner friend simply needs people who will show up. I asked if he cares about people being hard workers. "Well, that's preferred, but the most important part is that they are present. I'll take that!" Again, the bar has never been lower.

Sarah and I spent the last two days in a lake town at a waterfront hotel. The boys are at Grandma and Grandpa's house, so we have a few rare days of alone time. We've had a blast catching rest, sun, and relaxation. We've also hit a bunch of the local restaurants, bars, and coffee shops. Let's just say the results have been wildly mixed. Translation: The bar has never been lower!

Between the service, food quality, hospitality, cleanliness, and timeliness, it's been a wild experience. Very few places are doing things well. Yet, despite that, many appear to be succeeding. I found myself wondering what would happen if someone set up shop with an explicit goal of being excellent. They would take over this little world! Why? Because the bar has never been lower.

I'm not picking on this particular town. I see it every day in every city, including my own. "Good enough" seems to be the motto of our day, creating a sleepwalking culture where businesses look to the left and look to the right, trying to determine how little effort must be exerted to stay on par with their peers. If the bar is low, expectations can remain muted and still eke out a victory they call survival.

I'll share an example of someone who doesn't give two rips about the bar. Sarah and I walked into a little deli. It was bright and vibrant, with a ton of energy.....you could feel it. The front of the store was stocked with a unique mix of products. The back half, though, was where the magic happened. There was a deli counter on the left, with two women ripping out gorgeous sandwiches and slinging little tubs of homemade salads. As I approached the counter, one of the women greeted me like I was her long-lost nephew. She was patient while she excitedly helped me navigate my choices.

The second woman was eager to scoop me up a few salads to pair with our sandwiches. She, too, couldn't have been more cheery. Lastly, with sides in hand, we turned to the right, where we were greeted with a counter full of handmade desserts. Another woman was there to joyfully ring us up and close out our experience. Even before we tasted the food, we were served an experience. By the way, the food was ridiculously good! This place is striving for excellence, and I suspect they are finding success. They see how low the bar is, then crush it.

That's our mission today. Recognize how low the bar is, then destroy it.

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Never a Straight Line

Success is a funny thing. When we watch other people experience wins, it looks like their success is a straight line, up and to the right. However, our own personal journey never seems to be the same. It feels more like a jagged stock market chart, with ups, downs, peaks, valleys.....and more valleys. It feels anything but "successful."

I think we're too hard on ourselves. Or, to be more precise, I think we're looking at the wrong things when judging ourselves. Remember that one time a friend coaxed me into buying a biometric scale? This scale has played a major role in my health journey since February. Specifically, I've been focusing on reducing my body fat percentage. I jump on the scale every morning as soon as I wake up, and the data stacks up over time. Here's what a typical month can look like:

I went in the wrong direction on 12 of the 29 days! It's not supposed to feel this crappy. I make wise choices, eat intentionally, and get a ton of steps, yet more than one-third of the time, I fail. Or, that's one way to look at it. Sometimes, we're too zoomed in and miss the bigger picture. The following image is a weekly snapshot since starting this endeavor in February:

The line seems to be going in a better direction, but I again went in the wrong direction in five of the 17 weeks. It still feels kinda crappy! Or, that's one way to look at it. Maybe I'm still zoomed in too far. The following image is a monthly snapshot since starting:

Oh! That doesn't feel so bad. In fact, that almost looks like a convincing win. I'm going in the right direction! Even on the days or weeks it doesn't seem like it, I'm achieving my goals! Success is never a straight line. Sometimes, we just need to zoom out to give ourselves a clearer perspective.

My financial coaching clients often experience something similar. They’ll blow their budgets, whiff on paying off debt, miss their investment goals, and get into marital money fights with each other. It can feel demoralizing. That’s when I step in with a zoomed-out view and show them that while they might have just experienced a bump in the road, look how much progress they’ve made so far! It’s never a straight line, but if we zoom out enough, it looks pretty dang good.

Whatever you're trying to accomplish, please don't beat yourself up over the micro results. Instead, obsess over the micro inputs and measure the macro outputs. You'll stay sane, crush your goals, and thank yourself for keeping the correct context in mind. It's never a straight line; not for you and not for them. Enjoy the bumpy journey.

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Knowing Your Worth

I witnessed something atrocious yesterday.

As I was waiting to get a haircut, the other barber in the shop had a peculiar interaction with a customer. This customer asked the barber for a jar of hair product, and the barber quickly obliged by grabbing it off the shelf and handing it to him. "How 'bout I give you $11 for this?" The barber looked stunned; stunned enough that she froze and looked uncomfortable. The shelf price is $24, by the way (it's the same product I use). A few more interactions happened, but I didn't hear. She eventually responded, "$11 is fine." But then, I heard him ask, "Well, what does it cost you?"

While cutting another man's hair, my barber jumps in, "It costs her $12." The man, being ever so thoughtful and generous (tongue in cheek), said, "I don't want you to lose money. I'll give you $12." I can't put in writing the things I wanted to do to that jerk. He couldn't have been more demeaning in his approach. In short, he treated her like a single penny of markup on the product from her cost would have been unfair to him. Again, I wanted to do things that would have landed me in jail.

Whether you're an entrepreneur or work in a traditional job, I cannot stress enough the importance of knowing your worth. Sure, some people think they are worth far more than they are (you know who I'm talking about!). However, most of us far undervalue ourselves....especially small business owners. Yesterday, that barber grossly undervalued herself. Selling product is a meaningful part of her business's revenue stream, and some jerk weaseled his way in and undercut her.

I have a rule in my coaching/consulting services. If I quote a package for a prospective client and they ask for a discount, I won't let them hire me....not even at full price. Their request means they don't value what I'm bringing to the table, at least not to the level of what I'm charging.....and that's okay. My services aren't for everyone. Some people don't want my services at all. Some people want my services, but at a much lower price. Neither of them should hire me. It means I'm not the right person for them. I'm not mad at them for it, and I certainly don't take it personally. But that's not the right client for me.

It reminds me of a moment I had early in my coaching career. One of my friends suggested that I immediately double my rates. Hesitant, I told him I would tentatively give it a shot later in the day, as I had two consultations. I quoted both prospects the same price, roughly double as my friend suggested. The first prospect said it was the biggest discount in the world and asked if we could start immediately. The second prospect said it was a massive ripoff and people would be stupid to hire me.

Whatever you do, it's not for everyone. Your hourly wage. Your annual salary. Your sales commission. Your fee. Some people will laugh at you, calling you a ripoff. Others, though, will see what you really bring to the table and will eagerly pay you to serve them well. Know your worth, and don't let a couple jerks knock you off your path.

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Never As Good As We Believe

May was an epic month for us at Northern Vessel. We experienced unprecedented growth and achieved things we never thought possible. We sold 1,100 gallons of our signature oat milk cold brew latte alone. Unreal developments, and I'm so grateful for all of it.

At the same time, however, we encountered and discovered gut-wrenching problems that knocked us down a peg or two on the ego scale. This is a universal principle I firmly believe in: No matter how good we might think we're doing, we're never as good as we believe. Danger lurks behind every corner, and our successes often mask the warts.

I'm not trying to go all Debbie Downer on you today. In fact, I think this is the most encouraging message of all. There's ALWAYS room for improvement. That's why some of my favorite coaching clients are the ones who are already doing well in their finances, businesses, and careers. No matter how good they might think they are doing, we WILL unearth some warts when we pull back the layers. Translation: There's no cap on their potential!

One of my clients is in the process of paying off more than $80,000 of student loan debt, $2,000/month, month after month. Not too shabby, and they hope to be done in less than 40 months. Common sense would suggest they are doing pretty awesome, but ultimately, they aren't doing as well as they believe. My job was to help them dig deeper and find their warts. After a few small but meaningful tweaks, their 40-month payoff plan has been reduced to 17 months. That's the power of realizing we're never as good as we believe. I'm excited for them!

Whatever area of your life this piece makes you think about, just know that you have far more in you. The only thing it requires of you is the humility to look deeper and genuinely desire to see the warts under the surface. Once you find them and address them head-on, you'll be able to hit a new, unprecedented trajectory.

As for us at Northern Vessel, we have our work cut out for us to correct some of these flaws. We owe our customers excellence. No matter how good people tell us we are, we can't quit striving for an even higher standard, in every aspect of the business. We owe that to our customers......and ourselves. You do, too, in whatever discipline you happen to find yourself in. Today's a great day to push forward.

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Four and a Quarter

I recently found treasure! Well, not real treasure, exactly. As I was rummaging through some of my old childhood possessions, I stumbled upon a little wrinkled piece of paper that more resembled a ticker tape than a sheet of paper. It was my original pay stub from my very first job!

I was 15 years old and was hired to be an early morning groundskeeper at my local golf course. My first responsibility was to arrive at the course five days per week at 5AM to rake all the sandtraps before the early bird golfers arrived. My hourly wage for such a stellar job? $4.25/hour. Yeah, you bet I was rollin' in the dough!

It's easy to look at that number - $4.25/hour - and laugh. It was so little, especially after taxes were withheld. However, it might as well have been a million dollars for a 15-year-old kid trying to save money for his first car.

I learned so much at that job. No, I didn't go on to apply my groundskeeping skills in the years and decades that followed. That summer, I learned about discipline, doing difficult tasks, the value of money, and the beauty of work. That job didn't feel beautiful at the time (it kinda sucked!), but over the subsequent decades, I look back fondly at that job and what it taught me.

I hope each of you has your version of my four and a quarter per hour job. The one that paid little, challenged much, and taught you some key lessons along the way. To this day, I never take anything for granted, especially as a business owner. I'm so grateful for each and every dollar of income I'm blessed with to provide for my family.

Sometimes, when I get reflective, I think back to that kid working on the golf course as a 15-year-old, sweating it out for four and a quarter per hour. I'm really glad he did that. Had he not, I don't think I would have developed the habits, mindsets, and principles I have today.

Never forget where you came from, and never take what you have for granted. Both are blessings.

Lastly, if you have kids, don’t rob them of the beauty of work. Encourage them to create their own four-and-a-quarter moments that will shape them, mold them, and teach them valuable life lessons. It’s not even about the money. It’s about learning how to work and the discipline it takes to be successful. That skill is needed more now than ever before!

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One Round At a Time

One of my family's favorite traditions is our weekly Saturday morning Northern Vessel runs. We hop into the car, head to the shop, and enjoy coffee as a family. It's one of my favorite traditions, and marks the end of a great week.

Yesterday, we were perched on the front window bench, enjoying the sun on our backs. Noticing we are now stocking a new drink in the fridge, Pax asked if we could buy one for him to try.

"Sure, bud, but you gotta be the one who buys it."

I've been setting the boys up for these types of real-world interactions since they were five. It's scary for them, often uncomfortable. Forcing them to engage with other adults in a transactional or financial setting can be scary for kids.....which is exactly why I create these types of scenarios.

Pax, now eight and having done this enough times to know I wasn't going to relent, responded, "Okay. Do you want me to use cash or the debit card?"

"Whichever one you want."

"I'll try cash this time."

Then, I gave him my usual pep talk:

• Speak loudly

• Communicate clearly

• Be confident

• Use your pleases and thank-you's

Without hesitation (a new and welcomed development), he took the cash, grabbed his beverage, and approached the register. Then, in a fun little twist of fate, he was met by Antonio, one of our newest baristas. Since we aren't a normal coffee shop, Antonio isn't a normal barista. Antonio is a 6'9" undefeated professional heavyweight boxer. He's a beast. Even I can be intimidated by Antonio! To Pax, he might as well have been Ivan Drago.

Pax handled himself like a little champ, though. He was probably a bit intimidated, but just like Rocky, he didn't back down. I was really proud of how Pax navigated the situation, which is undoubtedly the product of having done this countless times over the past three years. One round at a time, as Rocky's trainer would say!

As parents, it's imperative that we place our kids in these types of situations. Yes, it can be scary. Yes, it can be intimidating. Yes, they are going to fail. Yes, it would be easier to do it ourselves. However, these are the types of repetitions that slowly turn our children into thriving adults.

Furthermore, I'm grateful to Antonio for offering such kindness and hospitality to Pax. That was an intimidating situation, and Antonio allowed Pax to work his way through it and come away with satisfaction and confidence. Antonio is the man!

Parents, please don't rob your children of these types of situations. It might seem simple and meaningless, but these little repetitions can mean everything. Our children deserve to learn about how to use and handle money, as well as real-world interactions with other adults. These are small and powerful wins. Force them. Embrace them. Celebrate them.

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Happy Anniversary, Wall!

Yesterday was a huge day for us at Northern Vessel. No, it wasn't the anniversary of our opening. No, we didn't hit any particular milestones. No, we didn't launch any new products. In fact, practically nobody even knew it was a significant day. As of right now, the only ones in the know are me, the other two owners, our team, and now, you.

Yesterday was the first and only one-year anniversary of not having a car crash through our shop's walls. We've been open for nearly three years, and until yesterday, we've never gone 12 months without having our space devastated by a speeding vehicle.

It's easy to laugh about this today, but the truth is, we've always laughed about it. No, we never found it particularly funny having our business and the safety of our guests/staff put at risk by the misdeeds of reckless people. The truth is, though, we only had two choices: laugh about it or cry about it. We chose laughter.

Regardless of what industry, discipline, career, or role we're in, we WILL be faced with brutal challenges. Obstacles, tragedies, misfortunes, and many other similar words that reek of misery. These types of things are inevitable, but our reaction to them isn't. The onus is on each of us to respond well.

Sure, we could have played the victim card. Our beautiful shop was devastated by a car in August 2023, bringing all our good momentum to a halt. We had everything going for us, then BOOM! (literally), all that good work turned into wreckage. We closed for a few days before reopening with our beautiful glass windows replaced with ugly plywood.

You can probably imagine how euphoric it felt to finally have a fully operational shop in March 2024 when the construction was complete. We were so happy to be back to normal! We spent the next several weeks re-building momentum, preparing for what was sure to be an amazing summer.

Then, in the worst form of deja vu, terror struck again in May 2024 when a second car crushed us again. Devastating! However, we again chose to laugh. A poor attitude wasn't going to fix anything. Instead, we endeavored forward, committed to the vision of providing world-class hospitality despite the new eyesore and hindered operation.

Yesterday, though, we celebrated one year of being car crash-free. We rejoice in the fact our shop is beautiful, our team is thriving, and our guests are joyful.

Nothing will go the way we plan (or hope), so we must continue forward, one step at a time. While I'm talking about a coffee shop, I'm not really talking about a coffee shop. This is our lives. This is our finances. This is our businesses. This is our careers. This is our relationships. We can laugh or we can cry. We can give up, or we can carry on. We can be a victim, or we can push forward. There are a million things that can bring your dreams to a halt. Don't let them. Laugh, persevere, and keep up the good work.

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A Terrible Daughter

I spent yesterday meeting with approximately 50 leaders from all over Colombia, discussing the importance of organizational standards. Standards in transparency, communication, governance, and financial responsibility, to name a few. It was a wonderful day, and I learned so much from the various leaders (each with his/her own perspective and discipline).

At one point in the meeting, my friend Gary asked our guests to stand and share their opinions on why these standards matter. One particular woman, a middle-aged attorney, said something that struck me. I wrote it down, as it was something I wanted to sear into my brain. As with most of my meetings here, my involvement is facilitated through translators, and we're blessed to have three amazing translators with us. (Side note: I'm constantly in awe of how these three women navigate this craft so well!). Here's what this guest said that knocked me off my feet:

"Disorder is the daughter of improvisation. Without standards comes chaos, and eventually failure."

Standards mean everything! I regularly write about the importance of being excellent. Whether you're trying to thrive in your career or successfully run your business, the key is excellence. Excellence, excellence, excellence. However, excellence is born from standards.

Or, as I visually represented to our Colombian team later in the day, you can't have excellence without standards, and you can't have growth without excellence. Standards > Excellence > Growth. Therefore, everything begins with standards. If we try to be excellent without having standards, we've failed before we even start. If we try to grow without being excellent, it's like a house built on sand.....it will eventually collapse.

What are your standards? This is a question we must each ask ourselves. Whether it's in the operation of our family's finances, our careers, our parenting, our marriages, or our businesses, it all begins with standards. My friend TJ says it best: "We don't rise to the level of our aspirations. We fall to the level of our standards." If you tell me what your standards are, I'll tell you what your ceiling is.

My clients who set rock-solid standards will inevitably thrive. Yes, they will be met with stress, tension, turmoil, and unwanted surprises; that's life! However, when standards are established, and then met, success (as dictated by their standards) is nearly inevitable.

My encouragement today is to think about your standards. What standards have you set in the way you approach the various aspects of your life? I can tell you my life is thriving in the areas where I set high standards.....and struggling in the areas where I failed to set standards. I need only look in the mirror to reflect the harsh reality of this principle. Standards mean everything.

I'm so grateful for all my Colombian friends and the memories we made yesterday in Medellín. There are days we will take the to grave with us….yesterday was one of those days for me. After 14 straight hours of meetings, mission, and memories, we ended the night with a little impulsive decision to jump into the rooftop hot tub at our hotel (in the rain, nonetheless). This is the view that concluded our day.

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Taking the Beans For Granted

Have you ever wondered why coffee is so expensive? Yeah, me too! The cost of buying a small bag of quality beans feels exceedingly high. However, after what I experienced yesterday, I'm beginning to wonder why coffee is so cheap.

I spent the day with my new Colombian and Guatemalan friends touring a coffee farm and experiencing what a day in the life of a Colombian coffee farmer looks like. In short, I was astounded by what I saw and experienced. First, one perk of being a Colombian coffee farmer: the views!!! Check out how beautiful this is.

Considering I co-own a coffee company, I feel pretty well-versed. However, that changed yesterday when I had the privilege of seeing it from the producer's point of view. What astounds me most about coffee is how many things must go right for a delicious cup of coffee to reach our hands. It's almost a miracle.

First, the land, climate, and environment must be right to raise quality coffee. The right plants must be planted in the right locations, and cared for accordingly.

Second, and most surprising to me, is the harvesting process. The act of harvesting quality coffee is far more manual than I could have imagined. Each cherry is picked by hand, and must be picked at the precise moment of ripeness, ensuring any bad cherries are excluded. And we're not talking about skipping through vast open fields of coffee. It's more like carefully navigating the steep slopes of a mountain, making sure you don't careen off the edge in the process. Oh yeah, and the ground is probably wet while you're doing it.

Not-yet-ripe coffee cherries

Next comes the separation and drying. Each seed must be extracted from the fruit, then intentionally and methodically dried in the sun for upwards of 25 days. There are several methods to accomplish these goals, each requiring a diligent process.

Once the seeds have been dried and turned into green coffee beans, they need to be roasted. This is where my coffee knowledge starts to pick up. Roasting is both an art and a science. And unless the roaster knows what they are doing, even the best coffee beans in the world will taste like dirt. The craft of roasting well allows us to take high-quality green coffee beans and turn them into something beautiful.

Lastly, once the beans have been roasted, they must be prepared well for the final beverage to be delicious. Even the best beans, roasted at the highest quality, but prepared poorly, can be disgusting.

Five things need to go well in order for a cup of coffee to be delicious:

1. The plants must be appropriately placed and cared for.

2. The harvest must be completed with excellence.

3. The separation and drying need to be executed with intentionality.

4. The dried coffee beans must be roasted exquisitely.

5. The roasted coffee must be prepared with care.

If any one of these steps falters, it's a fail.

So, considering all that, I'm shocked quality coffee is as cheap as it is. Seeing what I saw yesterday makes me wonder what other things in my life I'm taking for granted. What else am I not fully appreciating for what it truly is? Perhaps I need to be more grateful for more of the blessings I have in my life. Who or what am I not giving enough credit to? Something I'll be thinking about today.

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Line In the Sand

I made a lightning-quick trip to Los Angeles to give a talk earlier this week. The event was awesome, and the audience was tremendously engaging. In my closing remarks, I said out loud what most people were probably thinking. Every person in that room has made destructive and painful financial mistakes, whether they know it or not. It’s okay. That’s life. It happens. My plea to them was to give themselves grace. We can’t jump into a DeLorean and go back in time. The past is the past. The ONLY thing that matters is doing better today, tomorrow, and the next day. Every single mistake (financial or otherwise) they’ve made is a mere paragraph in their larger story. 

Regret, remorse, and guilt are inevitable human feelings. None of us can fully escape them. However, each of us can decide what to do with them. If we dwell on it, we will perpetually prevent ourselves from doing better in the future. We will fixate on the past, wallow in the pain it’s caused us, and continually beat ourselves up, wondering what could have been. The alternative, though, is to recognize what happened, learn from it, grow, and commit to doing better in the future. 

Every time I sit down with a new client, I ask them to draw a line in the sand. Where they are today is where they are…..period. Everything that’s happened in the past is in the past, and they are the author of what happens from today forward. People who can do this will thrive, while those who can’t will inevitably repeat history. 

Draw a line in the sand today. Whatever garbage is haunting you, financial or not, put it in the past. Today is a new day, and today is a great day to set a new course. A huge thanks to my friends in Los Angeles for hosting me,  and I couldn’t be more excited for that wonderful group of people I spent that evening with. This is where things get good!

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Losing Battles, Winning Wars

My boys suffered a heartbreaking loss on the football field on Saturday. It was the final pre-playoffs game of the year, and the kids couldn’t have been more excited. From the get-go, it just wasn’t their day. Their team made decent plays, but couldn’t stop their opponent to save their lives. They were somehow blessed with an opportunity to take the lead late in the game, but conceded a pick-six interception in the final few minutes to seal the defeat. They lost the battle, and it was a painful loss. 

However, I’m not in the battle-winning business. I care more about the war. A single game is a battle. We win some and we lose some. That’s life. My bigger focus was on the war. I want to see the bigger picture, the more life-altering impacts.

Early in the season, Pax would celebrate touchdowns with audacious celebrations, resembling his Madden shenanigans. He’d spike the ball, griddy, or do a group celebration with his teammates. One of my encouragements to him is to handle himself with class and professionalism. “Act like you’ve been there before.” He scored two touchdowns and two two-point conversions during this weekend’s game, but instead of showboating, he casually handed the ball to the ref and hugged his teammates. The war!

Finn isn’t the same type of athlete as Pax. While Pax is constantly in the limelight, Finn struggles to find his place. He hasn’t quite yet figured out his body and how to put the physical pieces together. He lacks confidence. He doubts himself. It doesn’t help having a twin who excels in all things sports. At Finn’s request, he plays all-time defense, stemming from his hesitation to run, catch, or throw a ball. During the first six games of the season, he had just one tackle (i.e. flag pull). However, on this fateful day, the day we experienced a heartbreaking defeat, he had a few monumental moments. He snagged his second tackle of the season, saving a touchdown. Then, on the very next play, he INTERCEPTED a pass in the endzone to create a game-relieving turnover. His confidence is building, and he’s giving it everything he has. The war!

Pax is known to be short-tempered and infuriated by losing. While the outcome of the game was a mess and constantly frustrating, every step of the way, he was encouraging teammates, helping opposing players off the ground, and celebrating other people’s wins. The war!

Yeah, that game sucked. We lost the battle. But it feels like we just might be winning the war. 

Don’t let your battle losses deter you from focusing on the war. So many people I work with are losing battles every day, every week, and every month. Life is kicking hard, and it gets exhausting. Job losses, medical emergencies, car trouble, business stress, house maintenance issues, relational tension. It’s okay to lose battles as long as we keep our eyes focused on the war. Whatever this means to you today (and I have a feeling you know), don’t elevate the battles above the war. It’s okay to lose a hundred battles if we eventually win the war. Keep fighting. 

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When the Stakes Are Lower

We had an emergency in our house yesterday. As the kids were getting ready for their football game, Pax realized his receiver gloves were missing. While he was stunned by this development, I was 0% surprised. He's known to just randomly put things in weird and unconventional places. Each time this occurs, I express the importance of things going in their place and the risk he's creating by being negligent with his decisions.

Yesterday, it bit him. His immediate reaction was that we needed to quickly run to Target to buy new gloves. That wasn't happening. It was nearly time to drive to the game, so there wasn't going to be an emergency run for new gloves.

Further, we weren't going to buy him gloves after the game, either. He made a mistake, and now he gets to experience the consequences. Later in the day, Sarah offered to take him to Target to buy new gloves that HE would pay for with his own money.....$20. Ouch!

He really, really, really wants gloves, but the thought of draining his cash to replace gloves he had just a week ago was too painful for him. I'm glad it was painful! Ultimately, he elected to not purchase the gloves. He will play his final two games without them as he considers his options.

It would have been so simple for us to buy him new gloves. However, doing so would have prevented him from learning a tremendously important lesson. Today, he gets to learn this lesson when the stakes are low instead of later when the stakes are much, much higher. This is such a critical concept for parents to practice. If we continually bail out our children (financially or otherwise), we rob them of experiencing the harsh pain and learning the tough lessons.

Pax is frustrated with himself. He wishes he had carried himself differently. And from now on, hopefully, he will. This $20 lesson at eight will possibly save him from a $20,000 lesson at 28. We need to let our kids fail when the stakes are lower, not protect them from failure today while setting them up to get crushed when the stakes are much higher.

As we play football in the backyard later today, I hope it stings him a little. I hope he remembers that feeling and subsequently grows through it. We'll still have a blast playing, though! That kid is getting good!

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Getting to the Excellence Part

I recently discovered that an old friend runs a business. I had no idea he even had a business, which perhaps should have been my first red flag. In any event, I discovered his business upon seeing a social media post from said business, venting about how people need to do a better job "supporting" small businesses. In short, his business was struggling, and unless something changes soon, they may have to shut their doors.

Curious, I did a deep dive into his last 12 months of social media posts. Here's what I found: 50% of the posts were about supporting small business, 40% of the posts were them taking stands on various political topics, and 10% of the postswere related to the business.

I reached out to my friend, offering to help. "Dude, I can't even tell what your business does from looking at your social media." Clearly annoyed, he responded, "People should already know what I do."

He asked if I had any ideas, seemingly open to outside ideas/perspectives. As a matter of fact, I had many......but one stands out above all others. He needs to get to the excellence part.....period. Just be excellent. Serve people well. Add value to his customers. Treat people with hospitality. Do amazing work. At every step of the conversation, he wanted to return to the idea that people need to "do a better job at supporting small businesses."

The same day, I talked to another friend who is struggling at work. He believes he deserves to be promoted, but gets continually overlooked. "Have you been excellent?" I asked. He just stared at me for a few seconds. "Well, I show up to work if that's what you're asking." After some prodding, here's what I discovered:

• He shows up to the office right on time.....never early.

• He NEVER stays past 5PM. If there's a project hanging in the balance, it can wait until tomorrow. "I don't work for free."

• He doesn't respond to messages outside of business hours.

• He admittedly does just enough to get by.

There's nothing excellent about that. I'm not advocating for his firing, but at the same time, I'm not sure why anyone would want to promote someone who doesn't exude excellence.

When all else fails, be more excellent. Are there people out to get us? Maybe. Is life fair? Not at all. Are crappy things going to happen to us? Without a doubt. But through all that noise, excellence stands out. Excellence is the linchpin to everything. There are a million things we cannot control, but our level of excellence is one we can.

So, today, whether you're an employee or a business owner, let's get to the excellence part. Excellence always wins.

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Must Be Nice

"Must be nice." Ah, gotta love that phrase. "Must be nice" is a politer way to say "You got lucky" or "I'm jealous." It's also a phrase that signals the beginning of the end. The mere utterance of these words signals that your inputs are detached from your outputs. Using this phrase means outcomes are not correlated with executon. Mentioning this phrase means you've lost before you've even had a chance to play the game.

These words were said to me on Saturday afternoon on the heels of the Downtown Des Moines Farmers' Market. My friend saw our huge line as he passed through the market and had some "feedback" for me afterward. He gave me permission to write about it, so that took away some of the sting. In short, though, he attributed our long lines to good fortune. Right place, right time.

He's not alone in this sentiment, and this doesn't just apply to Northern Vessel. If you've built something that matters (whether it be a business or career), there are countless people in your life who are sopping with jealousy. Or, in the words of one of my business owner clients, "Travis, you're the only person in our lives we can even talk to about this stuff. You're the only one who will genuinely celebrate with us." He, too, gets lots of "It must be nice" comments. Jealousy is everywhere.

The truth is, it does feel nice. It feels wonderful to create something that matters. However, ahead of that niceness is a ton of blood, sweat, tears, pain, suffering, failure, and growth.

In this conversation, my friend asked what I attributed our success to. I think there are a lot of reasons for it, and they all revolve around inputs, not outputs. While most people believe in obsessing about the outputs, we believe in obsessing over the inputs and merely measuring the outputs.

Here are some of our inputs:

• We're obsessed with finding the right people. It's extremely difficult to get hired at NV. TJ's standards and expectations are brutally high.

• Financially, we believe in paying our team ridiculously well. TJ hasn't given me permission to share specifics (yet!), but we created a compensation structure for the farmer's market that boggles the mind. Interests are aligned, and our team is incentivized to crush it.

• In turn, the work is a grind! It's like going to battle. Our team goes into market days knowing they will be wreckedby the time we're done. My hope is they look back on that experience and say, wow, that was awesome!

• Unreasonable hospitality. It's not good enough to quickly serve a coffee. Anyone can serve a coffee. But can you make people feel a certain way while doing it? The experience is everything.

• Constant obsession with getting better and more efficient. "Good enough" isn't good enough. Every team member has the green light to propose ideas for "better."

I pray you get rid of the phrase "It must be nice" from your life, and keep all the "It must be nice" people at arm's length. Whatever you're into, obsess about the inputs and measure the outputs. Keep going! "Nice" is coming.

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