But Would You Live For Them?

I was having drinks with a handful of guy friends recently. There were four of us in total. We discussed all the normal-type things: Family, work, sports, faith, and upcoming travel plans. The conversation evolved to a bit of a morbid topic, triggered by a recent news story about a family that was attacked by a random assailant.

"I would die for my family," exclaimed one of my friends. One by one, each of my friends said the same thing. As a husband and father, they would die for their family. Noble. I agreed with them about this sentiment. If push came to shove, I would sacrifice myself for my family.

However, I asked a follow-up question. "Yeah, but would you live for your family?"

They looked at me, puzzled. For the ten minutes before this topic, each of them shared about how miserable they were in their respective careers and lives. All three of these guys are massively successful, as defined by the world, but each secretly lives in misery.

Each one of these men has achieved something in their lives, and in an effort to retain the comfort, stability, and ease of this new lifestyle, they continuously make choices to maintain the status quo. In other words, they are drowning in their own pool of comfort. In the sports world, it's called "playing not to lose."

None of them is actually living (their words), and their lives are struggling as a result. There's tension in their marriages and tension in their parenting. Their careers suck. Time keeps ticking too fast, but at the same time, not fast enough to finally get to this retirement finish line they fantasize about. They are depressed but mask it in normalcy. The life they are living isn't actually living. It's a form of delayed dying.

I think most people would willfully die for their family, but many won't actually live for their family. Here's the modern-day recipe for a day in the life:

• Wake up and get ready.

• Spend 8-10 hours at a job you tolerate or dislike.

• Come home grumpy and disgruntled.

• Spend a few precious hours with family.

• Count down the days until the weekend arrives.

• Savor the weekend, which might include spending time with friends/family, going on a trip, and/or buying something fun.

• By Sunday afternoon, begin the dread of the Sunday Scaries.

• Wake up on Monday and repeat.

That's a comfortable life. That's a normal life. That's a predictable life. But is it living? Most people, when confronted with this question in an honest setting, will say "no."

Here are a few questions I ask myself:

• Am I pursuing work that matters when I wake up each morning?

• Am I seeking comfort or pushing myself out of my comfort zone?

• Am I actively serving God and serving others?

• Am I giving sacrificially?

• Am I embracing the adventure or playing it safe?

• Am I proud of what I model for my kids?

I think most of us would die for our family, no doubt! That's the sign of loyalty, love, and honor. But would you live for them? Are you willing to truly live?

My three friends desperately need a shift. They know it and I know it. It will take courage and the willingness to disregard society’s expectations. They can do this…..and so can you.

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Mission and Memories…and One More Thing

Many years ago, during a double dinner date in Hong Kong, my friend Gary Hoag said something that has permanently stuck with me:

"There are two things worth investing in. Mission and memories."

I didn't realize it back then, but those words would rock my world from that point forward. If I were to summarize my day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month, and year-to-year decisions, 90% of what I do would fall into one of those two buckets. Mission and memories. 

This week, I get to experience both with Gary. Today kicks off a series of meetings and adventures in Medellín, Colombia, beginning with a tour of some coffee farms. Over the coming hours, I'll be laboring in the coffee fields, trying to gain a better understanding of what a day in the life of a Colombian coffee farmer looks like. I couldn't be more excited for this, and I hope I take away something profound and impactful for the greater mission. 

Gary and I were able to link up at the Houston airport before our flight to Medellín.

While Gary lives in the U.S., I've seen him more often abroad than in America. We've traveled the world together, spoken together, worshipped together, camped together, fished together (though what I did barely resembled fishing), and written books together. We've traversed the Great Wall of China together, explored the vastness of the Mongolian wilderness together, scaled Hong Kong's Victoria's Peak together, and meandered through the night markets of Thailand together. 

Memories, memories, memories. And, oh, the mission! Each one of those memories is rooted in mission. Deep, meaningful mission. But do you see the other common thread running through all this? Relationships. We weren't meant to do this alone. Mission and memories aren't for us to prove we're good enough to do it ourselves. In fact, it's the opposite. There's a multiplication effect that happens when we integrate our relationships with mission and memories. One plus one does not equal two; it often equals something far greater than we can imagine. 

There's no telling what impact we can have if we bring others into the fold. This week's mission isn't for me to hoard all to myself. This isn't something I get to individually endeavor, and then tell everyone how cool I am. One person can move the needle, but a group working together for a shared cause can change the world. I can't wait to share more about the vision and invite you to join me.

I don't know how today's post will land, but regardless of what your weekend looks like, I hope you internalize (and incorporate) Gary's words as I did: "There are two things worth investigating in. Mission and memories." Oh yeah, and bring someone else along as well!

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The Chomp

In just a few hours, I'll board a flight to Medellín, Colombia. Then, over the next few days, I will meet people, see things, and discuss ideas that may potentially have a ripple effect for generations to come. Today is what I was referring to when I shared the idea of biting off more than we can chew. Today is the chomp.

If I'm being honest with myself, my life would be much easier and more comfortable if I had just stayed home today. I could spend the weekend relaxing with my kids, getting rested, and knocking out a bunch of important work projects early in the week. Instead, I'm waking up at 4AM on a Saturday and flying to South America to discuss things far bigger than me.

If I'm still being honest with myself, I wouldn't have it any other way. We weren't born to live easy or comfortable lives. We were born to serve others and make a difference. That looks different for each of us, and for me, this week, it means flying to Colombia.

If you look in the mirror and can say to yourself that your life feels pretty comfortable right now, I challenge you to change that. I challenge you to do something that puts you outside of your comfort zone. I've had seasons of comfort in my life. They feel good! It's like a warm and cozy blanket. I had time to do what I wanted. I had money to do what I wanted. In a lot of ways, I felt very much in control of my fate. That all sounds quite appealing......except it's a slow-acting poison. Nothing can lull us to sleep quite like comfort.

Here's one way I often look at it. If/when I'm living in comfort, I have to simultaneously recognize how much hurt, pain, suffering, brokenness, and discomfort is out there. Sure, I could create a beautiful little bubble for me and my family to comfortably live in, but that feels like a selfish and self-serving way to go through life. Then, I think about my favorite scripture:

Proverbs 3:27 - "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act."

We all have something to give: Money, stuff, wisdom, service, influence, skills, experience, time, etc. We can sit in comfort, or we can choose to act.

I will be sharing a lot more about this trip in the coming days, but today, I wanted to set the table. Whatever is on your agenda today, I hope there's some discomfort woven into it. We weren't put here to pursue leisure, but rather, to pursue impact. Yes, find some leisure. Enjoy some leisure. Savor some leisure. But make sure it's woven into the discomfort and impact.

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(Not) Doing It For Free

I casually ran into one of our Northern Vessel baristas yesterday, which is always a treat. In our conversation, I congratulated her on an amazing day at the farmer's market. I applauded her hard work, contagious vibe, killer hospitality, and ridiculously fun paycheck. She thanked me and shared how much fun she had. She said she wishes she could do it every day. Regarding the rewarding payday, she said she's grateful......but she loves it so much she'd "do it for free."

That's a tell! I laughed at her response and told her I know exactly what she means. I couldn't love this response more! The best work is the work we'd do for free if we could, but at the same time, we get to provide for our family while doing it. That's what it looks like to thread the needle of work that matters.

She never implied that it wasn't work......it was brutally hard work (my words, not hers). She was grinding non-stop, serving up hundreds of drinks per hour. Every interaction was a new opportunity, a new responsibility, to create a special experience for that specific customer. Each guest walked into that moment with their own mood, baggage, experiences, and expectations. For many, it was the first time they ever interacted with our brand. My friend, acting as the caretaker of the brand, was the lynchpin in how that person felt about us after they left our little booth. That's hard work! But it's meaningful work!

I'm so grateful for my friend. I 100% believe she would do it for free if she could, but fortunately, she doesn't have to. It actually makes me want to pay her even more. People who pursue (and find) work that matters are needle-movers. When we find our work that matters, our blood, sweat, tears, and passions are about to be put on the table, and as a result, everyone wins.

I pray my friend continues to feel that way about her work, and I pray each of you pursues and finds work that makes you feel the same. It's available to each of us, and it's far sweeter than we can even imagine. Work that matters matters. My friend deserves that.....you deserve that.

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Getting to the Excellence Part

I recently discovered that an old friend runs a business. I had no idea he even had a business, which perhaps should have been my first red flag. In any event, I discovered his business upon seeing a social media post from said business, venting about how people need to do a better job "supporting" small businesses. In short, his business was struggling, and unless something changes soon, they may have to shut their doors.

Curious, I did a deep dive into his last 12 months of social media posts. Here's what I found: 50% of the posts were about supporting small business, 40% of the posts were them taking stands on various political topics, and 10% of the postswere related to the business.

I reached out to my friend, offering to help. "Dude, I can't even tell what your business does from looking at your social media." Clearly annoyed, he responded, "People should already know what I do."

He asked if I had any ideas, seemingly open to outside ideas/perspectives. As a matter of fact, I had many......but one stands out above all others. He needs to get to the excellence part.....period. Just be excellent. Serve people well. Add value to his customers. Treat people with hospitality. Do amazing work. At every step of the conversation, he wanted to return to the idea that people need to "do a better job at supporting small businesses."

The same day, I talked to another friend who is struggling at work. He believes he deserves to be promoted, but gets continually overlooked. "Have you been excellent?" I asked. He just stared at me for a few seconds. "Well, I show up to work if that's what you're asking." After some prodding, here's what I discovered:

• He shows up to the office right on time.....never early.

• He NEVER stays past 5PM. If there's a project hanging in the balance, it can wait until tomorrow. "I don't work for free."

• He doesn't respond to messages outside of business hours.

• He admittedly does just enough to get by.

There's nothing excellent about that. I'm not advocating for his firing, but at the same time, I'm not sure why anyone would want to promote someone who doesn't exude excellence.

When all else fails, be more excellent. Are there people out to get us? Maybe. Is life fair? Not at all. Are crappy things going to happen to us? Without a doubt. But through all that noise, excellence stands out. Excellence is the linchpin to everything. There are a million things we cannot control, but our level of excellence is one we can.

So, today, whether you're an employee or a business owner, let's get to the excellence part. Excellence always wins.

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Just Notice

I met a friend for lunch yesterday at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants. I wouldn't say I'm one of their top customers, but I do make it in around once per month.

It's one of those order at the counter and they bring it to you type of places. While trying to order my meal, I struggled to find my desired entree on the menu (evidence that I'm not there too frequently). Just then, the woman behind the counter said, "I think you're looking for #14." Caught off-guard, I scanned the menu board to find item #14, only to discover it's exactly what I was looking for.

"Wait, how did you know that's what I was looking for?!?!"

"When you walked in, my dad told me you would be ordering a #14, and he already started preparing it for you."

First, am I really that predictable!?!? Wow!

Second, I was shocked they noticed me to that degree. I didn't know they even recognized me, and not only did they recognize me, they knew what I wanted even before I opened my mouth.

That single exchange tremendously moved the needle for me. Their actions didn't cost them anything, and yet, made all the difference in the world. In one simple act, they just seared in my loyalty, which will inevitably result in hundreds more dollars in revenue from me in the near future.

Just notice. It's a spectacularly simple strategy to move the needle in your endeavors. All it takes is a little intentionality, some care, and a desire to be more excellent. Whatever you're about to do today, just notice. It may seem like nothing to you, but it could be everything for someone you encounter.

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Driving Your (or Their) Future

We're sticking on the topic of cars again today, courtesy of an e-mail I received from blog reader Randy. Specifically, Randy pointed out how these modern-day mortgage-sized vehicle payments aren't just a curse to our month-to-month finances, but their impacts compound over time. He's so, so right about that, and his observation reminds me of a story from a few months ago.

I'll set the stage. I was meeting with a 30-year-old couple. They make a good income and live a normal life, but they have an issue. There's not enough margin in their monthly budget to save for retirement. In short, they are fearful that they won't have enough money to retire one day.

Upon reviewing their budget, I confirmed they don't, in fact, have much margin in their month-to-month cashflow. I also confirmed they have zero saved for retirement. Oh yeah, and one other fact: The husband's monthly vehicle payment was approximately $1,200. Curious, I asked them about this glaring number in their budget. The husband told me they've had a vehicle payment in this range since getting married five years ago.....but they can "easily afford it." By the way, this doesn't include the wife's car payment.

I'll summarize:

• A $1,200 vehicle payment is normal to them, as evidenced by having one for at least five years (spanning three different vehicles).

• Their $1,200 vehicle payment is "easily affordable."

• They live month-to-month.

• To date, they haven't had enough margin to save for retirement.

This situation isn't isolated to this couple. Without even realizing it, millions of Americans are putting themselves in a similar situation. To create urgency, I shared a visual with them. What if they stopped the vehicle payment cycle by selling this vehicle, purchasing an affordable vehicle with cash, and began investing that $1,200/month payment?

Here's the math. If this couple invests $1,200/month from age 30 to age 65 and does absolutely nothing else investing-wise, they would end up with approximately $3.5M by age 65. How much work would this require? 10 minutes to set up an investment account and automate it. Then, nothing. Zero work. Zero effort. Zero brain damage. They could lose their login credentials and come back 35 years later to find $3.5M chillin' in their account. Yes, it's that simple. Compounding.

What if instead of investing, we were talking about the compounding impact of generosity? My kids recently participated in a day of service to prepare packages for Meals From the Heartland. This ministry packages and distributes meals all over the world, feeding millions of hungry people. Each serving costs approximately $0.29. $1,200 invested in this initiative would fund 4,100 meals in a single month. Looking at the bigger picture, that's 49,200 meals per year! From age 30 to 65, that's 1.7 MILLION meals. Nearly 2 million meals!!! How many lives is that?!?! You could literally change the world! Compounding.

But yeah, that truck is pretty sweet! It's got heated seats, fancy cameras, a massive engine, and turns all the heads while sitting at the stoplight. People will surely know you're successful now!

Decisions compound. Choose wisely.

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Paying for Outcomes, Not Inputs

I saw the most wonderful TikTok video yesterday! The text on the screen said, "I paid this guy $500 to remove a tree, and it took him less than a minute....I think I overpaid." Behind the text was a video of an enormous crane tearing this massive stump, massive root system and all, out of the soil like it was a small weed. It was thoroughly impressive! The entire point of this video was to show how ripped off this person was because they paid $500 for a job that took just a few minutes.

This is where people get so twisted up. The prevailing thought process in our culture is that when we purchase something, whether a service or a product, we're paying for the cost of the physical inputs and/or the time that went into it. In reality, though, we're paying for an outcome.

In the video mentioned above, they weren't paying for the person's time, and they weren't paying for the cost of the equipment. They were paying for the desired outcome of no longer having that ugly tree stump in their yard. That's it. It doesn't matter how much the business's time or equipment costs. Is having a stump-free yard worth $500 to them? Yes or no? That's the only equation that matters.

I occasionally get the same thing in my coaching. All of my coaching is quoted on a flat-rate basis. The client shall get x number of meetings over y number of months, plus access to me between meetings, for $z. Once in a blue moon, a prospective client will ask me for a formal breakdown of my time (prep, meeting, follow-up hours, etc.). Why? They want to determine what my hourly rate is to determine if my price is fair. Problem: I'm not selling my time. I'm selling an outcome: impact….hopefully life-changing impact. Either a prospective client believes the impact I can make in their life is worth more than the fee I charge, or they don't. If they don't, they absolutely shouldn't hire me.

Coffee is another example. I recently had a friend tell me our Northern Vessel signature oat milk cold brew lattes are a ripoff at $6.50. "What are you putting in them, gold!?!?" Well, close, but no. Housemade cold brew concentrate, oat milk, and simple syrup. "And that costs you $6.50?!?!" People aren't actually paying for coffee, milk, and sugar. They are paying for an outcome. In this case, the desired outcome is an experience. It's the community, camaraderie, atmosphere, hospitality, memories, and, yes, a hopefully delicious drink experience. If this outcome is worth more than $6.50 to someone, they should consider buying one, but if not, they shouldn't!

Whether you're wearing your consumer hat or business hat, always remember this principle. We aren't paying for physical inputs or time.....we're paying for outcomes. Know what you're really selling, and sell it with confidence. Know what you're really buying, and buy it with confidence. What outcome are you trying to obtain? Does xyz product or service provide said outcome and cost less than the value this desired outcome adds to your life? If so, amazing!

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The Three Types of People

I've long believed there are only two types of men in this world: Those who can wear fancy hats, and those who can't. I fit squarely in the can't camp.

As much as I'd like to spend the next 450 words lamenting my inability to pull off fancy hats, I want to instead discuss a different type of grouping I often think about. This time, I believe there are three types of people in this world:

1) People who say yes to anything and everything, always jumping at the newest shiny object.

2) People who take the path of least resistance. They will say yes to the easy things, no to the challenging things, and do whatever is necessary to coast through life by giving the least amount of effort possible.

3) People who say yes to meaningful and impactful things, regardless of how difficult and painful they might be. While the things they say yes to may seem scattered or random, common and powerful themes tie them all together. This is the group I was advocating for in yesterday’s post.

I used to spend a lot of time in camp #1. I would say yes to anything that sounded interesting. The net result of this behavior was a constant sense of overwhelmingness and stress. People who live in this camp aren't trying to sabotage their lives, but rather discover what moves the needle and what doesn't. It's the visible manifestation of curiosity and self-discovery. I still have tendencies toward this camp, but I've been able to hone in on what matters most.

I'd argue that most people live in camp #2. They just want to do their job, not kill themselves doing it, come home, hang with family, and repeat. They prefer not to get too involved with the problems of this world, instead choosing to pursue a better life for themselves and those they love. They mind their business, keep their head down, and keep moving forward through life.

I'm not a fan of camp #2. I get why people live in it, though. It's comfortable. It's simple. It's predictable. It's linear. On the surface, all of those traits sound appealing. However, in my opinion, there's something missing. It's like preparing a beautiful steak to perfection, but not seasoning it. It's got a nice sear, and the cross-cut reveals your precisely executed temperature. It looks amazing! You take a bite, expecting something wonderful.....but it tastes bland. It's got the look, texture, and temperature, but it has no flavor.

I'm not an advocate for people chasing shiny objects all the time. I don't think we should say yes to all things. It's a one-way ticket to burnout. However, I will fight until my last breath for people to transition from camp #2 to camp #3. Some of you might be one "yes" away from changing the trajectory of your life forever. Not an easier life. Not a more comfortable life. Not a wealthier financial life. But a better life.....full of meaning, impact, fulfillment.....and flavor.

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Biting Off More Than You Can Chew

Have you ever said "yes" to something that was far bigger than what you were capable of? Something you had no business saying yes to? Something that almost makes you feel like an idiot for even considering? I've had my share:

• As a 19-year-old, running a college program responsible for bringing celebrities to campus to speak and perform (which usually included dinner and airport drives with said celebrities).

• Adopting twin baby boys.

• Managing billions of dollars of real estate portfolios for some of the largest investors in the world.

• Building a coffee company.

• Launching a podcast when I knew absolutely nothing about podcasting.

• Committing to writing, editing, and publishing one blog post per day for the next twenty years.

To be honest, I shouldn't have said yes to a single one of these. I wasn't qualified for any of them. There was definitely a possibility I would fail. There were absolutely more qualified people for the job.

But saying yes to these types of things is how we grow. It's how we expand our capabilities. It's how we make an impact. Anyone can coast, do the easy things, and simply get by. The art of pushing oneself is also the art of moving the proverbial needle.

I recently said yes to something new. I'm terrified. I'm in way over my head. I might fail. There are most certainly more qualified people than me. But here we are. This new endeavor will soon take me to a faraway land, a completely unfamiliar place. I will be pushed and challenged in ways I've never known. It sounds terrible.....it sounds amazing!

I can't say much about it yet, but rest assured, you will hear plenty about it in due time. Some of you, if interested, will also receive an invitation to get involved. It will be exciting. In the meantime, I'll just be over here in the fetal position, repeatedly asking myself why I just signed up for one of the most intimidating things I've ever been part of.

I hope you bite off more than you can chew today. I hope you say yes to something ridiculous and scary. Not so that you can fail (though you might), but so you can make an impact. You will no doubt grow along the way as well.

Conquer the day!

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Ahhhh, Simpler Times

One of my favorite features of Apple's iPhone iOS is the ability to use widgets on the home screen. My two favorite widgets are Weather and Photos. I like the Weather widget because, well, weather. And I like the Photos widget because it continually curates images from my ever-changing Featured album. Yesterday, while in the thick of some heavy business challenges, I was hit with this image:

"Ahhhh, simpler times," I thought to myself. This picture was taken 18 years ago, shortly after Sarah and I started dating. We were so young, so energetic, so spirited, so......naive. We had our entire lives ahead of us, and nothing was going to stop us.

As I look at that picture, part of me instantly wishes we could go back to these simpler times. Less stress, less pressure, less tension. The couple in this picture hadn't yet experienced so much of the pain and suffering that would soon arrive:

• The involuntary relocation.

• The death threats.

• Five years of gut-wrenching fertility battles.

• The loss of a newborn.

• Marital tension.

• Losing relationships with half of my family.

• Two life-altering injuries.

• Business failures.

• Countless deaths.

In some ways, I yearn to go back to those simpler times. Life would be so much easier if I could wipe my memory and live without this burden. If I could make the pain go away. Maybe get zapped with one of those little flashing memory-wiping gadgets used in Men In Black. Even if I had the chance, I wouldn't, though.

That young guy I see in the photo. While he can jump a lot higher and has a lot less gray hair, he can't make an impact like the current version of me can. He doesn't have the skills, wisdom, and experience to move the needle in people's lives. He wants to, but he can't......yet. He still needs to endure the pain, suffering, and struggle waiting for him before he'll be ready to maximize his impact.

The same goes for you. You undoubtedly have pain, suffering, and struggle in your past (and probably your present). That doesn't make you lesser. It doesn't hinder you. It doesn't make you a failure. It's actually what has shaped you to do the work you're about to do. Sure, your life would be much simpler had you not had to endure all that, but it also would have taken you out of the game to make the impact you are meant to make.

You didn't go through all that for nothing. The pain wasn't endured in vain. This is where it gets good!

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What is Excellence?

I'm preparing for what may be the most anticipated talk I've ever given. The audience will include CEOs and other leaders from some of the most well-known organizations in the Midwest. The topic? Excellence.

I'll be exploring how organizations can practice excellence in their day-to-day operation. Not by simply talking about excellence, but actually putting one foot in front of the other.

As a consumer, what does excellence look like to you? What would an organization do that would make you stop and think, "Wow, that was amazing!"

My mind immediately gravitates to Chewy, an online pet supply company. This story has lived rent-free in my head ever since I first heard it. One of the things Chewy is most known for is its monthly subscriptions to pet food and other frequently-used supplies, which systematically show up at the consumer's door. These products are needed, like clockwork, month after month. But then, something tragic happens: the loss of a pet. It's inevitable.

This is when a potential gut-wrenching moment happens. A family is mourning the loss of its pet, and a fresh bag of dog food shows up at the door (along with a new charge on their card). Talk about rubbing salt in the wound.

The customer calls Chewy to cancel the subscription, explaining their pet recently passed away. Chewy, in its relentless pursuit of excellence, reacts with empathy. First, it reverses the charge on that customer's card while simultaneously canceling their subscription. Second, it tells the customer NOT to send the supplies back. Instead, please bless a friend or loved one with them. Third, Chewy sends the customer a bouquet of flowers, communicating its condolences for their recent loss. That's excellence in practice.

I have a first-hand story to add to the mix. About six weeks ago, one of our periodic Northern Vessel customers stopped by the shop with his dog. During the interaction, one of our baristas offered the dog a treat. The man declined, citing that the dog only eats one particular kind of treat. The barista made a mental note.

Six weeks go by, and the man returns to the shop, again accompanied by his dog. And again, our barista offers the dog a treat. The man declined, citing that the dog only eats one particular kind of treat. This time, though, the barista was prepared. He pulled out the exact treat this man's dog could have and presented one to the sweet dog. The man was shocked.....and grateful. Our barista, in my humble opinion, showed excellence.

What about you? Would you share a personal story of excellence with me? What experience moved the needle for you? How did it impact your relationship with that organization? I thrive on these stories, and I firmly believe my future audience will, too!

Always seek excellence. Whether you're going to the grocery store, getting your vehicle serviced, grabbing a cup of coffee, or getting your hair cut. Anyone can perform a task, but why not choose excellence? Oh yeah, while you're at it, choose to be the excellence other people deserve!

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Better Than You Found It

I got rocked by a single moment yesterday. #12 McNeese had just taken down #5 Clemson in the first round of the NCAA basketball tournament. McNeese was up by a mile, only for Clemson to claw itself back into the game, but McNeese ultimately held on for the victory (its first NCAA tourney win in school history!). It gave me chills!

For weeks, it's been speculated that NcNeese head coach Will Wade had already accepted the head coaching position at NC State, essentially making him a lame-duck coach for the most important games of the year. If this news is true, Coach Wade will soon pack his bags, say his goodbyes, and start afresh at a new school with new players.

This added an interesting dynamic as I watched the post-game celebration. Coach Wade respectfully shook hands with the opposing coaches and players, and as soon as that was finished, he frantically darted into the stands where he wildly hugged countless people. He was beaming. It was nothing other than pure unadulterated joy. After a few minutes, he worked his way back to the court, where the TV broadcast correspondent interviewed him.

"We're advancing, baby! We'll take it!"

He was asked about his emotions in this moment: "We've made school history, man! We've never won a game [in the NCAA tourney]. We didn't have much history when we got there. We've broken almost every record. I'm so proud for our guys, for our university, our president, our athletic director. It's incredible! This changes our university. This changes our university."

All this from a man who may be a former employee in a matter of days. He cared; he cared deeply. This moment sat with me. I recorded it on my phone and watched it over and over. I kept repeating the same phrase in my mind: Leave it better than you found it.

There's a reality in life we must all face. Everything we do will end soon. You WILL leave your job. You WILL have a final conversation with people in your life. You WILL stop engaging with xyz organization. You WILL stop running your business. You WILL have a final engagement with your client. You WILL stop attending your church. You WILL die. There WILL be an end, and it's sooner than we'd like to believe.

If that's true, we should each live life with a focused mission: Leave it better than we found it. Our workplace, the people in our lives, the organizations we engage with, the businesses we own/run, the clients we serve, the churches we attend, and the non-profits we support. We're here but for a moment, then gone.

It reminds me of something a wise friend once told me. Every gravestone includes three things: A birth date, a death date, and a dash between. What we do with the dash is what matters most. None of us know how long our dash will be, but we each have an opportunity to add value to the world while we're living the dash.

Whatever you do today, leave it better than you found it. Time is short. Embrace the dash. Oh yeah, one last thing: Go McNeese!

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Legacy: Digital Footprint Edition

I received an unexpected message from Meaning Over Money co-founder Cole Netten. I was expecting another one of his ridiculous voice memo rants about a particular topic that may or may not make good content (but will most certainly be entertaining!), but it was something much different. He asked if we could record more episodes with him in them. Considering he's very much a behind-the-camera sort of cat, his request surprised me. I'm always down to record content with him, but I was curious about this sudden shift.

He referenced a conversation he and I recently had about my constant and intentional endeavor to create a digital legacy for my children. Someday, I'll be dead. Hopefully, not for a long time, but it's coming soon. When that happens, my kids will be left in this world without me. When I think about my life and my own journey, I don't have a lot of memories or touch points to the past. I've seen a few grainy home videos, giving a small glimpse of what life looked like before I could remember, but there's not much. In some ways, multiple generations are just gone.....poof. That's the circle of life and the limitations of technology, and I get it, but what if there was something we could do about it?

Due to the amazing advances in technology, both physically and in the cloud, we live in a new information world order with unlimited possibilities. We often warn kids: Everything you do will be out there forever! Also, the good news: Everything you do will be out there forever! That's the golden opportunity we all possess. Every single time I create something, whether it be an article, podcast, YouTube video, or book, I think about those who will be left after I'm dead and buried.

If I died today, my kids would be left with 111 hours of podcast content and a half-million words of blog content.....and that's just my own content. It doesn't include YouTube, podcast appearances, guest articles, and the books I've helped write. That content is forever, for better or worse....hopefully better!

With this idea in mind, Cole is going to be joining me on the show more often. We'll get a bit more personal in some of our episodes, pulling back the curtain society tries to make us live behind. I hope it helps people, gives them a different perspective, and provides much-desired encouragement, but I also hope it's a window for my children to understand who their dad was and how he saw the world.

I have a difficult challenge for you today. Consider how you can best leave a digital footprint for those who come after you. Maybe it's starting a YouTube channel, podcast, or a blog. Perhaps it's writing a book, publishing music, or creating art. Or maybe it's something I've never even thought of. Only you know you, but you definitely know you. I challenge you to create something that matters. When you're dead and buried beside me, make sure to leave a beautiful gift for those you love.

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When the Legs Go Numb

We had our first big snowstorm of the season in the Midwest this week. So much so that it caused school to get canceled one day and delayed the next. The boys were excited, but for more reasons than one. In addition to skipping school, they were excited to shovel the driveway and sidewalks. Not only was it snowy, but it was cold; negative five degrees cold. Despite that, the boys spent nearly an hour outside before their delayed school day started, shoveling away. It was fun to see a couple second graders out there putting in the grind. At one point, Finn came in, claiming his legs were going numb. I encouraged him to come inside to warm up for a bit, and then continue his good work.

They were proud of themselves, and I was proud of them, too. They were also excited to make some money. They didn’t know how much it would be, but they knew it would probably be good. 

I don’t believe in allowances. From a behavioral science perspective, allowances teach kids they are entitled to something. That’s not how the world works, though. Earning money requires work. Hard work. Sometimes undesirable work. 

Here’s how it works in our house, and how I teach it to hundreds of parents. My kids have responsibilities in the house because they are members of the family. Put their laundry away, throw their clothes in the hamper, take their dishes to the sink, change the trash. Normal stuff. They don’t get paid for these tasks, but they are expected to step up and do so without complaining.  

Then, there are always opportunities to take on projects for pay. Mow the yard, shovel the snow, rake the leaves, clean the garage, etc. Each project is accompanied by compensation, but they don’t know how much until they are done. 

This next part is important. They NEVER get paid by the hour. They get paid for performance. If they crush a task, they get paid as such. If they mail it in, their pay reflects that as well. I don’t care how long it takes. I care about effort and excellence. 

They each made $20 for shoveling. I could have paid them less….far less. But I’m not paying for second graders to shovel. I’m paying to have the sidewalk shoveled, period. We shouldn’t train our kids to expect crappy pay because they are young. We should train our kids that excellence is rewarded and a lack thereof is not. 

It’s not perfect. They still gripe at times. Their laziness pokes its head out once in a while. But it’s a journey. I have another 10 years to train them up before the world will test them and push them. My job is to prepare them, not coddle them. I’m proud of those two little men. One day, one project, one failure, one win at a time. 

Keep fighting, parents! Whether you have 13 years or 13 months left before they leave the nest, there's still amazing work to be done....and you're the perfect person to show them the way.

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Changing the World By Changing Yours

I just received the best news! An old friend, someone I haven't talked to in several years, contacted me to share a life update. He said that after three years of blood, sweat, and tears, he and his wife paid off their $125,000 of consumer debt (student loans and credit cards). Whoa!

When I asked him how that happened, his answer shocked me. "Remember that one time we were having drinks at _____? Someone asked you about paying off all your debt. I thought to myself, if you could do it, so could I. So I did."

If I could do it, so could he! Yes! I couldn't love that more. This debt had haunted him for nearly two decades.....until that day three years ago when he decided enough was enough. Then, he changed his life forever.

Here's the opportunity on the table for you today. You have an opportunity to change the world by changing yours. Without even knowing, my actions to change my own family's world eventually inspired this other family to change theirs.

People are watching. People see things. They might not listen to your advice, but they can't ignore the fruit of your actions. When you make good decisions (financial or otherwise), and your life improves, it's impossible not to see. This happens with my clients all the time. Their lives start to shift, they live with more freedom and meaning, people around them notice, and a new wave of inspiration strikes and new group of people.

If you want to help others, lead by example. If you want to inspire generosity, practice generosity. If you want to inspire debt-free living, become and stay debt-free. If you want to inspire work that matters, aggressively pursue work that matters.

Whether you see it or not, people are watching. And whether you realize it or not, your actions are moving the needle in other people's lives, for better or worse. What a fun and intense opportunity.....and responsibility.

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Bing!

Happy Groundhog Day to those who celebrate! What are your favorite Groundhog Day movies? For me, it's probably Groundhog Day....or maybe Groundhog Day. I saw on Facebook last night that my friend Ryan was watching it. On one hand, that's awesome. On the other hand, it's a bit of a party foul to watch it on Groundhog Day Eve. To me, that feels like unloading the Christmas tree and thrashing open all the gifts on Christmas Eve. Oh well, I digress.

Groundhog Day has been and will forever be one of my favorite movies. If you haven't seen it (which is a shame), I'll summarize. Bill Murray, a semi-famous meteorologist from Pittsburgh, begrudgingly travels to nearby Punxsutawney to cover the annual Groundhog Day celebration.

For unknown reasons, Bill Murray gets caught in a time loop where he lives the same day over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over. It's as depressing as it is ridiculous, as thought-provoking as it is hilarious. Underneath its comedic facade is a deeply meaningful movie, filled with wisdom and virtue.

Here's the question I always ask myself while enjoying this film. Is it enough to do the right thing? On a basic level, we know right and wrong. We understand how we should handle ourselves and how we shouldn't. If that's true, is it enough to simply put ourselves through the paces of doing it "the right way?"

As you can imagine, I have an opinion. I tend to believe simply doing the right thing isn't enough. I think it goes deeper than that. I think intent plays a big role in all this, which is woven into the fabric of this film. I call it doing the right things for the right reasons.

It's one thing to do the right thing, but it's an entirely different beast when we're doing the right thing for the right reasons. A sincerity, if you will. A spirit of openhandedness. A posture of generosity. Doing the right thing without any expectations in return.

Oftentimes, we do the right thing if/when it serves our own purposes or self-interest. But what happens when the right thing doesn't benefit us......or even hurts us?

What if doing the right thing means sacrificing ourselves for the betterment of others?

What if doing the right thing means taking a harder path when it means we can make someone else's path easier?

What if doing the right thing means caring so deeply about the intent of the action, knowing well the outcome is very much uncertain?

What if doing the right thing means foregoing more money and a higher standard of living so we can live out a more specific call in our life?

I'm not sure my little rant made total sense, but perhaps it will give you something to think about before or after you watch the film. Not during, though. During the movie, I hope you enjoy it as thoroughly as I will. Oh yeah, and one more thing: Bing!

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Ode to Reps

I recently appeared on a podcast, but it was a different kind of podcast. It was recorded just like a typical podcast, but at the same time, there was a live audience watching/listening. It was facilitated via Zoom, so I could see the attendees' faces while recording. Just one problem: Only five of the 150 scheduled attendees actually showed up. Therefore, I was doing a live virtual talk to an audience of five that would eventually become a podcast. Odd, I know.

Overall, I thought it went fantastic. On the heels of the event, the organizer reached out to thank me, apologize for the small turnout, and share a few thoughts. One particular comment struck me: "It was interesting watching you perform. Even though there were only a few people there, you gave off the same vibe as if there were 1,000 people in the room."

Good! That's exactly what I was hoping for. I'm a firm believer that every rep counts; we never know what impact we'll make. It reminds me of something I learned from being a youth group leader. If we hosted a big event and only a handful of kids showed up, that didn't mean it was a loss. Rather, it meant we could pour everything we had into those few kids. I loved that mentality!

I think this mindset carries into every aspect of life. Each repetition is an opportunity to give 100%, regardless of the circumstance. Further, giving 100% in the less assuming settings earns us the right to make an impact elsewhere.

It ALWAYS reminds me of my favorite music video, Ode To Sleep by Twenty One Pilots. If you haven't seen this video, and I'm 99% sure you haven't, please take a few minutes to experience it.

The video opens with Tyler and Josh performing in a small dingy room in front of just 12 people. What's most fascinating to me is that they are performing with the same energy one might exude in a large arena. They were going off.

The video transitions to a different show, 18 months later. This time, they are playing in a "dark, sweaty basement" in front of 300 people. Again, the same massive energy that doesn’t seem to match the audience size. They were going off.

Lastly, the video transitions one final time. This time, 18 months later, they are performing again. However, the audience has ballooned to 12,000 loyal fans. The moment the screen flips to HD and pans across the electric crowd still gives me chills. Again, the energy was off the charts. They were going off.

I can't get this music video out of my head. It has 26 million views, and I suspect half a million of them are just me. I so much appreciate their willingness to give 100% of themselves each repetition, whether 12 people or 12,000 people.

I don't know what you have going on today, but whatever it is, it deserves 100%. You never know the impact you'll make.

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Stepping Across the Line

Whenever I write about my disgust in the "support small business" movement, I suffer a momentary wave of panic that I'll lose some of my small business owner subscribers. After all, my ideas on the subject are about as counter-cultural as they come. I've lost my fair share of readers from this position, but I'm grateful for everyone who has stuck with me and has been willing to hear a different perspective.

With that context in mind, I have a fun story to share. One of my small business owner friends recently reached out via text. He confessed there were many days where his finger hovered over the "unsubscribe" button out of frustration, but for whatever reason, he decided to give me the benefit of the doubt. He's a big believer in "supporting" small businesses. This isn't news to me, as I've watched him spout off that destructive narrative for years on his social channels and in his marketing.

Here's what he said next! "A while back I decided to give your idea a try. Instead of asking people to support me, I just tried to be more excellent. Do better at marketing. Treat customers better. And give people more reasons to come to my business instead of someone else's (or the big box stores)."

I'm loving this so far! Let's continue: "And it worked! My revenue has doubled in the last 6 months and I wonder why I spent so much time worrying about people supporting me. As you say, excellence always wins."

Yes! Yes! Yes! By the way, I've seen a shift in his business from watching their social media. The change is palpable. They carry themselves with a newfound confidence, and it's clear they are in the business of serving people well.

They now realize customers don't owe them anything. Customers don't exist to serve them, but the other way around. Their sole responsibility is to earn the right to serve people, serve them with excellence, and earn the right to serve them again. And if they do that well enough, earn the right for those people to share the news with others.

This is exactly what my friend has done, and his business and family are thriving as a result. He used to act entitled to people's business and feel victimized by a lack of support. Today, he and his team add a ton of value to many people's lives; they are thriving!

This is the way business should be done. I'm not arrogant enough to think I will single-handedly change the world here. However, together, we have the potential to bend the culture and slowly move the needle in this area. My friend is certainly making a difference in his little neck of the world.

Whether you own a business or work for an organization, today is another opportunity to be excellent. If we do, the rest will take care of itself.....eventually. No excuses, no justifications, no entitlement. Just excellence.

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Ode To Insecurity

Today's post is about Cole Netten, my Meaning Over Money partner. My relationship with Cole and his wife Kate began in their later college years, as they were about ready to graduate, get married, and join the working world. Upon graduation, Kate began her teaching career, and Cole found a pretty good office job. It wasn't the job of his dreams, but it was safe, steady, and provided security for his new family. It was a responsible job.

Just days into his new job, I invited Cole to lunch since we were now working in the same building. When he showed up, he looked like a shell of his former self. It was still Cole, but yet it wasn't. His zest for life seemed missing. His go-with-the-flow nature was replaced with angst. He looked absolutely miserable!

Within a matter of weeks, Cole impulsively quit his job and told Kate about this decision AFTER he did it. Yikes! What in the world was he thinking!?!? He landed a solid job right out of college! This job would have provided a nice income for them. It would have helped them grind out their debt. It would have allowed them a higher standard of living. It most certainly would have felt more secure. Yet, Cole instinctively lit a match and burned it down.

Fast forward several years, and Cole and Kate still don't have security. Their standard of living isn't something to envy. Their financial life is anything but steady or predictable. While all that may be true, there's something else I need to add: They live a truly blessed life. Cole's career as a filmmaker is just as choppy and uncertain as it's ever been. Kate primarily stays home with their THREE kids, from newborn to four. In my opinion, their marriage is something worth mimicking. They are truly a special couple. But "secure" isn't on their scorecard of life.

A few days ago, Amazon Prime released a new documentary titled ChiefsAholic, a film about a Kansas City Chiefs Superfan who was secretly living a double life as a serial bank robber. Cole helped make this movie!

Add this to the ridiculous list of projects he's done:

• Shooting feature segments for College Gameday.

• Manning Taylor Swift watch in the underbelly of Arrowhead Stadium for ESPN.

• Doing commercial work for prominent regional and national companies.

• An accomplished drone pilot.

• Shooting and grip work for feature Hollywood films and documentaries.

• Shooting post-game press conferences in the Kansas City Chiefs locker room.

• Shooting weddings for NFL superstars.

Oh yeah, and he's barely 30-years-old. He's done all this in less than a decade. What in the heck is he going to do in the next 10, 20, or 30 years? All because he turned his back on a "good" job. A "secure" job. A "responsible" job.

I'm so freaking proud of this guy. Not so much for what he's accomplished, but for the road-less-traveled example he's setting for hundreds or thousands of people around him. Meaning over money. Purpose over security. It's one thing to say it, but another to live it. He and Kate live it.

Take from this what you will. Oh yeah, and go watch ChiefsAholic on Amazon Prime!

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