The Lie of Lies

I recently sat down with a newer retiree. It's a man in his early 60s. His kids are young adults, pursuing their own dreams, aspirations, and careers. His wife was a stay-at-home mom for the majority of their child-rearing years. He had an objectively successful corporate job, which he generally enjoyed. After years of discipline, diligence, and patience, he had enough financial resources to ride off into the sunset and fulfill the American dream of living a life of leisure (i.e., stop working).

Uh oh, he fell for the lie! Even before we sat down, I knew how this conversation was going to play out. Sure enough, and right on cue, he shared the same story I hear over and over and over. He followed the conventional wisdom of our society by pursuing a life of leisure. After all, work is bad. Work is a necessary evil. Work is something we do because we have to, and naturally, as soon as we don't have to do it, we should quit doing it. He followed this mode of operation to a T. He knocked it out of the park financially, so he quit.

That's the lie! He fell for it! I don't say that to disparage him, though, because most of us fall for the same lie. He's two years into his retirement, bored and frustrated. He used to have influence, make an impact, be productive, and serve others well. He willingly (and excitedly) exchanged that for sleeping in, tending his garden, cooking more meals, and tinkering in his garage. As he thinks about this trade-off, he feels scammed. He gave up so much meaning, and for what? Leisure. Rest. "Nothingness," as he put it.

His problem wasn't leaving his prior job. His problem was walking away from something without walking toward something else. He wishes he could go back. He desperately wishes he could go back. But he can't. Here was my challenge for him: Pursue work that matters. Whatever that means in this season of life, pursue it with the same vigor, curiosity, and excitement he pursued his work during his 20s. His life isn't over. Heck, in many ways, it's just beginning. He might have 20-25 solid, productive years left in him. After these last two years, he recognizes he still has so much more to give.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and predict that he will make more impact in the next 5-10 years (whatever he ends up pursuing) than he made in the entirety of his prior 40-year career. That's how it works. That's what happens when we choose not to throw away all of our wisdom, experience, relationships, influence, skills, and knowledge.

Or he could just keep tinkering in his garage and tending to his garden. That's what society says he should do. Society says he deserves that. Society says he's earned that. Maybe so.....or maybe, just maybe, he deserves to live with purpose and meaning. Either way, it's time for the next chapter to be written.

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A Reminder From Waterlooville

One of my hobbies is watching the web activity on my website. I always find it fascinating to understand who is reading my blog, and from where. It boggles my mind that we've had readers from at least 101 different countries this year alone. After enough posts, I start to forget what I wrote about in the past. Therefore, when I see the names of blog posts pop up in the live web feed, they sometimes catch my eye. For example, I recently saw someone from Waterlooville, UK, read a post titled How Many Apples Are In a Seed? Waterlooville?!?! I went straight to Google Maps. Waterlooville is a town of 35,000 people, approximately 60 miles southwest of London, right along the southern coast of the UK.

The fact that someone from Waterlooville took time out of their day to read some of my words blows my mind. I never take this for granted, and I sincerely hope something I say means something to someone. Perhaps this person was moved by my post in some small way.

Speaking of the post, the title made me raise an eyebrow. What in the world was that one about?!?! I clicked to find out for myself. Oh yeah, I remember that one!!!! It was a post from April 2024 about the importance of simply planting seeds, using UCONN coach Geno Auriemma as the example. Reading it brought back good memories, but it also reminded me of an idea I think about over and over and over.

We oftentimes don't know what impact we're making. Instead, our job is simply to plant seeds. We plant, plant, plant, water, water, water.......then wait. Some of our seeds will die. Some will sprout, but ultimately not make it. Then, sometimes, our seeds will not only sprout, but grow into something far more beautiful than we'd ever imagine. The tough part is we don't know which ones are which. Therefore, all we can do is keep planting, keep watering, and trust God to sort it out. I loved the message then, and I love it now.

Distant friend in Waterlooville, it would be fun to meet you someday. I wish you well. I hope your life is full of meaning, impact, and joy, planting seeds every step of the way. Please keep up the good work!

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Fraud Alert

I received quite the scare a few weeks ago when I checked into my hotel in Bogotá, Colombia. The woman at the front desk asked me for my debit card for incidentals and processing. After I inserted my card and entered my PIN, I received an unexpected message on the terminal: "Card Declined." Oh boy! Never fun to be in another country, only to have your bank access revoked.

Then, I felt a vibration in my pocket; a text message from my bank. Given that I don't typically spend money on hotels in Bogotá, Colombia, my bank's fraud-alert system kicked in. The text asked me to confirm if this was a real transaction or potential fraud. I confirmed that I am, in fact, trying to process a hotel room in Colombia, re-ran my card, and it was approved. The bank algorithms have improved drastically over the years, picking up on our behavior patterns and habits. It's good to know that when the bank senses something is amiss, it tries to protect us.

One of my friends recently had a similar but different experience. This friend believes in generosity and is a regular giver. However, he was moved to make a larger gift than he normally would. Much larger! Can you see where this is going? He logged in to the organization's giving portal and confidently entered his data. Then, the moment had arrived: "Submit."

"Card declined." What?!?! Then, as in my Bogotá hotel experience, he felt a vibration. His bank's fraud alert system had kicked in, sensing something was amiss. This transaction ran afoul of his normal behavior patterns and habits. After confirming to his bank that this was, in fact, a real transaction, he re-entered the data onto the organization's giving portal and successfully made his gift.

I loved this situation! His generosity was moved to the point that his own bank thought fraud was being committed. What a tell! An amazing tell!!! Those are the kind of tells that get me excited. He pushed himself enough that his own bank shut him down.

I love this friend so much, and I'm grateful I got to witness such a funny situation unfold in real time. I look up to this man so much, and I, too, want to live life so generously and audaciously that my own bank thinks I'm committing fraud against myself. Through the lens of sacrificial generosity, that's a strong sign we're moving in the right direction.

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Their Opinions Don’t Matter

Today's post is courtesy of my guy Ryan. I'm not sure Ryan has ever read the blog, but we talk about it often, and he knows me better than most people on earth. So, when he texts me a link and a message that reads "feels like a blog," I know it's about to be good. He sent me a link to the following VIDEO CLIP. The actual video is a bit long, so I'll summarize. It's about how, coming out of high school, Patrick Mahomes was ranked the 22nd best quarterback of the 2014 graduating class. In other words, the experts believed there were 21 other quarterbacks better than who we now know to be one of the best quarterbacks who has ever lived. Well, we know how that worked out.

Other people's opinions don't matter. They just don't. I've watched countless aspirations go up in flames due to the inappropriate, unnecessary, unwarranted, and unsolicited words of well-intentioned people. When our confidence and convictions are already on shaky ground, it doesn't take much from the outside to topple our house-of-cards psyche. It's a good thing their opinions don't matter!

One of the closest people in my life called me a "f'ing idiot" when I left my prior career to start my own company and begin the journey I'm now on. Fortunately for me, when those words were muttered to me, I already knew other people's opinions don't matter. I'm so glad I didn't care. I'm so glad I knew back then that we shouldn't care what other people think.

I'm sure Patrick Mahomes had plenty of well-intended people around him who advised that he hang it up and pursue a "safer," "more stable" career. I'm glad he didn't listen to them. Their opinions didn't matter, and fortunately for Patrick, history will look different upon him because of it.

I often tell my boys that other people's opinions don't matter. When it comes to their callings and aspirations, my opinions don't matter, either. I'll definitely have opinions, and I'll probably share them, but along the way, I need them to know that ultimately, they don't matter.

Whatever you are called to do, block out the noise. Don't listen to people's opinions. Will you succeed? Will you fall flat on your face? Who knows, but at least give yourself the opportunity to find out for yourself rather than taking the advice of people whose opinions don't matter. Sure, Patrick Mahomes could have been an all-time bust. But instead, he has three Super Bowl rings. Remember that.

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A Different Person

I ran into a close friend yesterday who had been following the blog over the last week while I was in Colombia. He asked a very interesting question: "How do trips like that impact you?"

In short, I sincerely believe I return from those types of trips as a different person. When we leave our personal bubbles and allow ourselves to be uncomfortable, it stretches us in ways that are hard to fully communicate.

Those types of experiences challenge everything we know to be true, everything we take for granted, and every bias we use to engage the world around us. Those types of experiences also call into question who we are as people, what our place in the world is, and how we can best serve the greater good. So yeah, I don't think it's hyperbole to say that we return as different people after trips like that.

My first trip out of the country was at age 26; to England and Ireland. Despite both of those countries being Westernized and English-speaking, that trip profoundly changed me. My small little mind couldn't believe how big the world was, yet at the same time, how small it was. That trip showed me that no matter what I thought I knew, I actually knew nothing. Fast forward twenty years, and I think I've been to upwards of 40 countries. Each trip, each location, and each experience changed me in a different way.

How did this trip change me? My takeaways are pretty clear:

• Even the biggest, most audacious dreams are possible. We don't get to decide what's possible. Only God can decide.

• Time is but a number. No matter how long or short something will theoretically take, reality doesn't care about projections. It will happen when it's supposed to happen.

• People don't have to be world-changers to change the world. Some of the largest impacts come from the smallest, most humble beginnings.

• Life is so, so fragile. We can't take our days for granted. Any day could be THE day.

• There are a lot of dark forces in the world, darker than we often see with the naked eye or while stuck in our bubbles.

• Relationships are the key to everything. I've known this, but this trip was another reminder of the sheer power and beauty of relationships.

• Everyone has a role. Each person on our team brought specific, non-replicable roles to the table. None of us could have filled the others' roles. Regardless of your role, it matters. Don't judge. Don't compare. Don't minimize yourself.

It's going to take me a few weeks to fully process everything that happened on this trip. However, it's safe to say that I'll never be the same after it. I'm a different person. God willing, a better person.

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From What We Have

I've talked about this concept many times on this blog over the past four years, but last night I experienced its purest form. We often make giving overcomplicated. We factor in all our bills, obligations, and other financial commitments, then assess whether there's enough remaining to give. Since we are human and our brains are wired a certain way, there's rarely anything left to give, regardless of our income. Thus, we elect not to give.

Put through its proper lens, giving should be much simpler. "What do I have to give?" we should ask ourselves. After all, we are called to give from what we have, not from what we don't have. If I have something, I should give it. If I don't, I shouldn't. This means financial resources, of course, but it should also include skills, experience, passion, relationships, influence, etc.

If I have the skills and experience to help businesses, some of that skill and experience should be given freely to serve others. If I have a relationship that would be valuable to someone else's endeavors, I should give that freely to help others.

In our Palmful of Coffee curriculum, we again go back Biblical to giving in its simplest form. We give from what we have, not from what we don't have. This concept can and will set us free. It allows us to practice generosity regardless of our current life situation. It allows us to stop comparing ourselves to others and simply give, knowing that all blessings matter.

Last night, it came full circle. As I sat in the front row of church in a Colombian village, I watched giving, in its simplest form, play out in real time. Men, fresh out of the fields in the nearby mountains, carried a large sack of green coffee beans to the front of the church and placed it at the base of the podium. Then another man. Then another man. Soon, the base of the podium was lined with some of the world's best coffee. These men might not have had a lot of financial resources, but they had coffee, beautiful coffee.

While we call this program Palmful of Coffee, it's not strictly about coffee. It's about giving from what you have, not from what you don't. Most church members had coffee, but some had milk, yogurt, corn, lemons, eggs, papaya, etc. That's what they brought. They didn't look in the mirror and say, "I don't have coffee, so I guess I can't participate." No, they looked in their storehouses and saw freshly picked papaya, then elected to give from what they had.

We make this too complicated. ALL of us have something to give. And if we would stop comparing ourselves to everyone else, we would recognize the beautiful opportunity we each have to simply give from what we have. Last night was one of the most special nights of my life, and I will surely remember it forever. But this lesson of Palmful of Coffee, give from what we have, can remain with each one of us every day for the rest of our lives as well.

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Comfort Is the Enemy

My favorite line from one of my keynote talks is, "Comfort is the enemy of progress, and failure is the admission price to success." We live in a culture that's obsessed with comfort. We seek comfort at all costs. We use our time, resources, influence, and experience to obtain whatever comfort is available to us. In fact, many facets of comfort have become status symbols for "winning" in this country.

On the flip side, despite my undeniable human attraction to comfort, I detest it. About a decade ago, I realized that comfort was the primary factor in preventing me from living my calling, my purpose. The pursuit of comfort often forces us to make decisions that subvert our ability to make an impact and find meaning. Comfort is a drug that sedates us, medicates us, lulls us into a complacent state.

Today, I'm embarking on a new adventure. I'm going somewhere I've never been, engaging with people I’ve never met. I'm about to be tremendously uncomfortable. I'll be the only person who doesn't know the language. Nearly 100% of my communication will be via translators. Will they accept me? Will they like me? Will they respect me? Will they value my ideas? These are all natural thoughts that stem from aggressively pursuing discomfort. Heck, I've been uncomfortable for a few weeks just thinking about it.

Despite all that, I also understand the flip side. Without discomfort, I have no chance of making a difference. Without discomfort, I'm waiving my right to create impact. Without discomfort, life simply wouldn't be as rich.

In a matter of hours, every aspect of "normal" will turn on its head. I'm not ready for it, yet at the same time, I couldn't be more ready. I crave the awe, wonder, and curiosity that discomfort brings. It will be scary....it will be amazing. It will be trying.....it will be beautiful.

Comfort is the enemy. Discomfort is our friend. I look forward to sharing more about this journey over the next week. Blessed to have you here.

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“What’s In It For You?”

A few weeks ago, I found myself in a fascinating conversation with a handful of friends. The conversation meandered to generosity. Knowing that generosity is one of my favorite topics in the world, one of the men at the table asked me a question: "What's in it for you? Why are you so into this stuff? What are you getting out of it?"

"Nothing. That's the point," I responded. In order for our giving to be true generosity, we can't receive anything in return. If we give and expect something in return, that's a transaction. That's done with motives, not a generous spirit.

"But why?" my friend continued to press. "If you're not getting anything in return, why not just spend it on yourself?"

Ah, now we were getting to the true heart of the topic. There's a cultural thread woven into the fabric of our society that says that if we earn it, it's ours to enjoy on ourselves. While this is legally true, it's not the highest and best use of our resources. When I look at the resources I'm blessed with, there's a tension at play. I can spend on my wants......or spend on other people's needs. If I don't put a pool in my backyard, my kids have to use the public pool. If those starving children don't eat, they might die. If I don't buy another pair of boots, I might not be as color-coordinated. If that family can't get their utility bill paid, they won't have running water. The math feels simple to me. Money spent on other people's needs has a significantly higher ROI than money spent on my own wants. I’m not saying there’s anything inherently wrong with spending money on pools or boots; I’m just trying to paint a picture of how my brain works.

We do actually get something from our giving, though. Heart change. When we give without expecting anything in return, something inside us changes. A selfish little piece inside of us dies, and something new is born. Each act of giving rips us apart a little more, a little more, a little more. If we're not careful, we might inadvertently undergo a full heart surgery. The old us is gone, replaced by someone new.

"What's in it for you?" Nothing.....and everything.

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70-Year-Old Travis

A blog reader recently reached out with a thought-provoking question. It's in reference to my repeated insistence that I don't believe in the traditional American retirement. The question was quite lengthy, so I'll paraphrase it: "Do you really expect to be working at 70 years old? What does that even look like?"

It's difficult to project what my life might look like 25 years from now, but I'll share some thoughts on this topic. Interestingly, many blog readers are even better qualified to answer, as they are living this reality of pursuing meaningful work in their 70s as we speak. In any event, I'll start. What does work look like for 70-year-old Travis?

I don't suspect I'll be ripping out endless 10-hour days, but the work will probably resemble full-time. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. How I describe this to others is the idea of shifting. Sometimes we upshift, increasing the intensity. Sometimes we make a lateral shift, merely refocusing our energies. Sometimes we downshift, decreasing the intensity. I suspect work in my 70s will be some form of a downshift from my current rhythm.

• Slower mornings, allowing me to enjoy more coffee time with Sarah, get more reading in, and stay physically active.

• A less regimented schedule. The lines between work days and weekend days get a bit blurrier. A day is a day. Life becomes more fluid. I'll work more when I have more energy and more inspiration, and less when I have less.

• More frequent travel. 4 days here, a couple of weeks there. Much of my work is probably mobile.

In terms of what work I'll be doing, it's hard to say. I don't even know what type of work I'll be doing next year, never mind 2+ decades from now. However, if I had to guess, I suspect it will be a combination of a few things:

• Pouring into the next generation of leaders.

• Building or iterating whatever enterprise I'm called to engage in.

• Serving those who wish to be served, at whatever level they wish to be served.

• Creating content and resources that will remain on earth after I depart.

I'm tremendously curious about what that stage will look like, but I don't want to rush to get there. Life is amazing now. The kids are young, I have tons of energy, and my present work matters so much to me. That future will unfold in due time, and when it does, I hope I still have the same level of conviction about always pursuing meaning and work that matters. I think future me will have a blast navigating that journey.

If you're in your 70s and living some parallel life to future me, I'd love to hear from you. What's changed with your work life since your 40s or 50s?

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It’s Kinda Like a Blog

Over the past few months, Sarah and I have found random pieces of paper and notebooks scattered around the house containing notes from the kids. The notes are generally around 2-3 sentences each, detailing some part of their day. Many of them are dated.

When we asked the boys about them, they answered very matter-of-factly: "Those are our journals. It's kinda like a blog." Hmmm, where would they get the idea of writing blogs?!?! I'd by lying if I said I wasn't completely touched by this little detail. It's fun to know they see what I do, and in some ways, want to emulate it. Moral of the story: kids are always watching.

It gets more interesting. Without divulging full "blog posts," I'll share a few excerpts I've seen:

• "We played football after Dad got home."

• "Dad took us camping."

• "Dad came to our game."

In a journal entry that may only be 2-3 sentences, it's wild that my mere presence in their lives makes the short list of notable events in their day. Again, I was touched, and again, kids are always watching!

I'm on record of saying I don't care what my kids decide to do in life. I will support, celebrate, and encourage any path they feel called to pursue. However, in the meantime, it feels great knowing that they are watching, taking mental notes, and using what they see as launching points to try new things. I'm so proud of them for that, and it makes me even more convinced that setting these positive examples needs to be one of the most important things in my life right now.

Kids are always watching. Words to live by....in so many different ways. If that's true, and the kids are sincerely watching, please go live a life today that you're proud for them to witness. I will endeavor to do the same.

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Remembered For

One of my friends is nearing the end of his life. We've had some interesting conversations recently. As you can imagine, he's been quite introspective lately. He recently asked me a question that I've been thinking about: "What will I be remembered for?"

It's a fascinating question. In many ways, it's the culmination, aggregation, and consolidation of 70+ years of life. What will I be remembered for?

I'm a big believer in reverse engineering. We take the desired outcome and work backward to determine the steps needed today, tomorrow, and the next day to get there. For my friend, much of his cake is baked. The work is done, and now he's trying to discern how the cards are stacked. For many of us (hopefully), there's so much work yet to be done.

What do I want to be remembered for? I'm not going to answer that yet, as I want to give you time to ponder your own answer. But perhaps today is a great day to reflect on the implications of this question.

Here's an alternative way to look at this question. If you were to die today, how would you be remembered? Do you like your answer? If so, you might be on the right track. If not, it might be time for some major soul-searching. Again, I'll save my answer for later.

Here's one thing I know. I DO want to be remembered, and I DO want those memories to be of the positive and impactful variety. Today, I hope my decisions, words, and actions make that more likely, not less. I hope you do the same.

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Once You See It

I recently found out that one of my friends is taking her family abroad this summer. Not some fancy adventure to Europe, but a deeply cultural experience in a place most Americans will ever see. "This will change your kids' lives forever!" I exclaimed. She wholeheartedly agreed.

Something powerful happens when we see parts of the world that are extremely foreign to us. When we leave our little bubble and get a glimpse of the bigger picture, it has the potential to melt our minds. Everything we know and believe can be turned upside down in a matter of days.

I didn't have one of these experiences until my 30s, but when I did, it permanently shifted my life forever. It's one of the reasons my family lives in a one-bathroom house and drives aging vehicles. No matter how we live here in our bubble, we're rich. Period. There's no way around it. Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

People are hurting. People are sick. People are hungry. People are cold. People are hot. People are unsafe. Yet, here we are, whining that our house isn't big enough, our cars not new enough, our clothes not sylish enough, and our technology not fast enough.

Here's a thought that often crosses my mind. If I had the choice between improving my family's standard of living and helping hundreds (possibly thousands) of people attain a livable standard of living, which would I choose? It turns out, we have that choice every day of our lives. It's easy to think we don't actually make that choice, but not making a choice is still making a choice.

This isn't meant to elicit guilt. Guilt is a terrible master. Rather, this is my encouragement for each family to seek out new perspectives. Let's step out of our bubbles and truly see what's going on around us. Let's get uncomfortable. Let's challenge ourselves to open our eyes. Let's get an up-close view of how the rest of the world lives. Then, and only then, can we be in a position to make some of these difficult choices (without guilt!).

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Systems and Standards

One of my friends, a fellow business owner, recently asked me what our goals are at Northern Vessel. We've never actually set any goals. In fact, we never discuss goals. There's no set of expectations for what we'd like to accomplish. Instead, it's more aspirational, directional. Continue to push the boundaries of excellence and find ways to exhibit hospitality in new and unexpected ways. To what end? No end. We're seeking the journey, not the destination.

This entire conversation reminds me of a quote I heard about a decade ago. "We don't rise to our goals. We fall to our systems and standards."

The NFL is a great example. All 32 teams start the season with the same goal: to win the Super Bowl. However, only one team will accomplish that goal. It's not that one team has a better, more cemented goal. Rather, a handful of teams simply have better systems and standards. Eventually, through the ebbs and flows of the season, each team falls to its systems and standards, and the team with the best systems and standards (plus a little luck) prevails.

Systems and standards. That's something we obsess about at Northern Vessel. It's an ongoing discussion with our team. It's a never-ending pursuit that impacts every guest interaction and every drink we prepare.

Saturday was the second week of the Des Moines Farmers' Market, the country's second-largest market. I heard there were north of 25,000 people present. Our team was excited and well-prepared. After spending three years obsessing about our systems and standards (including building our wonderful team), they are clearer now than ever.

I've attended many market Saturdays, and it never ceases to amaze me how locked-in and excellent the team is. Despite a seemingly unending line stretching 100+ people deep, our team strives to meet each guest with enthusiasm and hospitality. This week, the team served one drink approximately every 13 seconds for 5 hours. It's a pace that still boggles my mind, and I'm continually grateful for every person who decides to spend part of their market Saturday engaging with us. It's never lost on me, nor do I ever take it for granted, when a market patron decides to get into a coffee line (for a vendor that sells just one drink option) that wraps around the block.

I still feel like I need to do a better job at setting goals, but every time I feel that wave of guilt, I come back to the idea of systems and standards. The relentless pursuit of excellence. I don't know where we'll be a year from now, but regardless of what that looks like, I hope the systems and standards are higher than ever, we pursue an even grander version of excellence, and the hospitality pushes the boundaries more than ever.

Systems and standards. Whatever you're jumping into this week, please keep this in the back of your mind. We'll all eventually fall to our systems and standards, so we ought to raise them in the meantime.

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For What?

I received a question from a blog reader after yesterday's post. I don't know this man personally, but based on my handful of e-mail interactions, I respect him a lot. He's very insightful and always brings wisdom to the conversation. I also know by now that his intentions are always honest. Therefore, when he asked me a fairly intense question, I received it with the utmost respect and care.

In short, he asked why I'm so personally interested in my investments. It would appear to be an obvious answer, culturally and financially speaking, but he added some additional context based on my prior content:

• I don't believe in retirement.

• I don't plan to leave my children a large inheritance.

• I believe and practice joyful and sacrificial generosity.

• I'm anti-hoarding

• I don't care to "build wealth."

• Money, stuff, and status don't interest me.

Therefore, his sincere question has so much merit. If all that is true (and I testify that it is), why do I personally care about having investments? He didn't say this, but based on the fact pattern I shared above, it's possible that I'm a liar, a hypocrite, or don't quite follow the principles I teach. Again, this is me saying this (not my friend!). Why, then, do I personally care about investments?

I responded to his message, but after pondering it more, I thought it might make for an interesting blog post. Why do I believe all those things above, yet still have personal investments?

It's a two-part answer:

• A day will come when I'm no longer physically or mentally able to do good work. I hope that time doesn't arrive until my 80s, but it will most certainly arrive at some point. When that happens, I want to ensure we can financially care for ourselves.

• A day might come when I leave this planet before Sarah does. Statistically, men typically die sooner than women. As such, I want to make sure Sarah will be financially cared for after my passing.

Both of these factors lead me to pursue investment assets that can someday achieve one or both of these objectives. Something interesting happens along the way, though, when we perceive retirement investing through this atypical lens. The math looks different, easier. When you won't need retirement funds until later in life, the math says we need to contribute less money for a shorter period of time (since the wonders of compounding have more years to cook).

What that means in my household is that nearly eight years ago, we realized that if we are good stewards and ensure our investments are well managed, we might not need to contribute much more (if any) to meet our two long-term goals stated above. In other words, we're probably going to (eventually) be fine with what we already have invested, so investing more would only serve our own materialism, pride, or selfish endeavors.

Therefore, we made a very odd but definitive decision approximately eight years ago. We will commit to never investing again. No more contributions. No more pushing. No more building. No more more. Enough is enough because enough is enough.

It's a weird journey to follow, and oftentimes difficult given my strong bend toward finance and "winning," but living life with an external focus rewires our souls. It connects us to people unlike anything else I can compare. I'm not necessarily advocating that people try to adopt this way of viewing life, but perhaps it will give you something interesting to ponder today.

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The Line

Yesterday's post drew the ire of many. Well, one excerpt, anyway: "I don't care to sell things that can be shared. Several of these possessions have added value to my life, and now they can add value to someone else's. That's how we're created to live, not peddling our used stuff for cents on the dollar."

That one comment fired up the comment train. I partially saw this coming, as the mere idea of not selling our possessions when parting ways with them is a countercultural approach. Several people applauded this mentality, while many others criticized it. One curious reader asked a really thought-provoking question:

"Where's the line? How far do you take this? At what point would you stop giving something away and sell it instead?"

I haven't thought about this question, specifically, but I do have a very clear answer: a house. For Sarah and me, the line is a house. We will sell a house. Everything below that shall be given away. The last two cars we parted ways with were given, not sold. Well, in the case of Sarah's previous vehicle, the recipient insisted on paying us $500, which we honored. No trade-ins. We have something of value, and it served us well for a season of life. Now, we get to share it with someone else; the cycle continues.

When we sold our four-bedroom house and moved into a small two-bedroom townhome, nearly everything was given away. 2/3 of all our furniture. All the lawn equipment. The patio set. My home office. Most of the decor. Each of those interactions with the excited recipients was a gift. I remember the looks on their faces. The relief in their eyes. The gratitude in their voices. That's worlds better than selling something on Facebook Marketplace for pennies on the dollar.

I get it, this is a weird way to live. It's a stretch. It feels like we're leaving money on the table....because, well, we are. However, it's not about money. It's about carrying a posture of possession, not ownership. I possess objects in my life, but I'm not the ultimate owner. He is. That's what it looks like when we actually live in faith. We are called to give from what we have, and uniquely enough, what we have is what we have. Therefore, give it. Give it freely. Give it joyfully. Give it sacrificially.

I dare you to give it a try. Start small. Find something you value, and give it to someone else. It will mess with you in the best of ways. Then, watch how it changes you.

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Ignore the Bar

“The bar has never been lower.” It’s a saying my friend TJ and I talk about often. We live in a society where the bar, the standard, the excellence, continues to diminish by the day. We settle for mediocrity because, well, mediocrity is often one of the few choices available.

Frankly, I don't care what the bar is. The bar sucks. The bar is a fraud. "Industry standards" and “best practices” are buzzwords to justify complacency and apathy.

I live in a town with 197 restaurants, according to Google. Competition is high, and businesses are fighting for attention, yet the bar remains low. Restaurants regularly offer a medioce product, inconsistent results, bad service, and virtually no hospitality, nonsensical pricing, and then play the victim card when they eventually close their doors. There are definitely some solid places in my town, but so many are missing the mark. The bar has never been lower.

That's why what happened to my family yesterday stands out even more. We were out of town for a lacrosse game. After the frigid game concluded, Sarah suggested we find a restaurant to celebrate. Problem: There were virtually no restaurants between the game and our city. I pulled up Google Maps to see what I could find. Interestingly, there was a town of 1,000 people nearby, and the only restaurant in the town was rated a 4.7 (which is typically a pretty high mark for a restaurant).

We were hungry, so why not?!?! From the moment we walked in, we had a stellar experience. The building was old, but clean. The parking lot was full. Our server was beyond friendly. The drinks and food came out quickly. Drinks were refilled like clockwork. The prices were good. The food was perfectly executed. The staff had a posture of gratitude for us stopping in. In other words, they crushed it!

In a town with 197 restaurants, steep competition, and nearly endless options, the bar is low. Yet, in a town of 1,000, with ZERO competition, the bar is high. This little restaurant ignored the bar and decided "good enough" isn't good enough. This is exactly how small business should be done. I don't know anything about this business other than what I experienced yesterday, but I wish I could shake that owner's hand. Well done!

We (you, me, and everyone we have some level of influence on) need to ignore the bar. We shouldn't care what everyone else is doing. We shouldn't care what's good enough. Instead, we should reestablish the bar. Set a new standard. Raise expectations to a new level. There are two modes by which to live life: Follow along or carve a different path. When it comes to excellence, I suggest we carve a new path. Following the crowd is like discovering a chunk of fool's gold. It looks valuable at first glance, but once you look a bit closer, you realize you lost.

Provide excellence. Demand excellence. Force a higher bar.

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Where’s a DeLorean When We Need One?

I taught three high school classes last week. My favorite part of any talk is always the Q&A at the end. As the frequency of questions started to diminish, I said, "We have time for a few more questions. C'mon, guys, give me something spicy. Spicy is good."

A young lady on my far left raised her hand. "What is your net worth?"

I said spicy....I didn't mean SPICY!!!! That one caught me off guard, as it's the first time I've ever been asked that publicly. I froze for a second. What do I say? What do I say? What do I say?

"Wow, that was spicy! I don't feel comfortable answering that." Then I moved on.

A missed opportunity! Of everything I experienced last week, that was my biggest regret. I beat myself up for hours! I had such a beautiful opportunity there, and I whiffed. I could have shared something profoundly important, but I didn't. I could nearly see Reggie Miller giving me the choke sign like I was Spike Lee at MSG (IYKYK!).

If I could step into my DeLorean and get a do-over, this is what I'd say:

I'm not going to share my net worth, and here's why. Sharing numbers like that one is the quickest way to spiral into the curse of comparison. Either my number is higher than yours, and you're jealous, or my number is lower than yours, and you judge me as less than. Either way, nothing good can come from it.

Net worth is a great way to keep score.....if we're basing our measuring stick on the world's way. Instead, I tend to measure success by how intentionally and meaningfully someone is living their life. Do they wake up every day excited for what's to come? Are they making a difference? Do they find meaning in their work? Do they lie their head on their pillow at night knowing they left it all on the field? Some of the most successful people I know have low net worths, and some of the biggest failures I know have huge net worths.

I do find value in net worth, but only through the lens of that particular individual. In fact, I make every client track their net worth each time we meet. NOT because that's the ultimate goal, but rather, because it's usually a solid barometer to understand if they are or are not achieving their desired goals. It's a tell; it's not the be-all end-all. If a couple is trying to get out of debt, there should be a natural increase in net worth over time as the debt is paid down. If someone is starting a business, there should be a natural increase in the value of that business as NOI improves. In other words, net worth makes a good comparison tool under the same roof, not under different roofs.

Lastly, and most importantly, net worth measurements have a negative correlation with the greatest use of money: generosity. A decade ago, Sarah and I made the decision to give away every single penny we have. Nothing is ours. Everything is to be shared. The natural outcome for this way of life is that our net worth will eventually dwindle to zero. That's a weird way to perceive life, but I enjoy the dwindling more than I do the building.

I'd do anything for a DeLorean right now! Have a great day, all!

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New Fear Unlocked

It's been a few months since I've been scared out of my mind. One would think I'm finally on the other side of crushing fear, but alas, here we are again. Tomorrow, I'll be leading a 4-hour workshop for 25+ Christian non-profit organizations; some of the most prominent, impactful organizations in my state. The topic of the workshop: The relentless pursuit of God-honoring excellence.

As I was telling Sarah about the workshop, she asked a very innocent question: "How much of those four hours will you be on stage? 30 minutes? An hour?"

"All 4 hours! It's literally just me!"

Her eyes got really, really big; I think she got scared for me! I don't blame her. This is far bigger than me. Heck, I should be in the audience learning from some of these organizations. I look up to many of these people and would be honored to sit in front of them for four hours to learn. Yet, here we are, in reversed roles, with them in the chairs and me on stage with a microphone. Yeah, you bet I'm terrified!

I'm about to reach the point where I wonder why I said "yes" to this. My life would be so much simpler, safer, and stress-free had I NOT signed up for this endeavor. I could have avoided the risk of utter failure. I could have eliminated the possibility of letting people down. I could have reduced the risk of a massive heart attack striking me at any moment.

There's a shadow side to that, though. Saying "no" would have removed any possibility I have of making a difference, moving the needle, or otherwise positively impacting people. Saying "no" would have been an intentional forfeiture of my opportunity and responsibility to use my skills, experience, and insights to serve others. Saying "no" would have debilitated my ability to gain experience and personally grow.

No, I'm not a fan of my heart possibly ripping through my chest, and I'd sure appreciate a full night's sleep (instead of restless hours and constant nightmares), but I couldn't be more grateful or excited for this opportunity.

Have you recently experienced self-inflicted terror? If so, congrats, as both you and the world are better for you having done that. If not, perhaps now is as good a time as any to say "yes" to something bigger than you. Unlock something totally new within you. Make an impact. Use whatever experience, talent, insight, and wisdom you have to offer the world. It might suck in the lead-up (and maybe even in the moment!), but you'll soon look back as one of the most wonderful decisions of your life.

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Tank Filler

The last few days have felt like a mental and emotional beating. Nothing significant happened, but everything involved in my days fell on the difficult side of the ledger. My tank was running low. That's when I decided to do something that nobody should do on an empty tank: aimlessly scroll TikTok. However, what I stumbled into filled my tank to the brim.

I found a series of videos of a man who approached homeless people and asked if they would like to come over to his house for dinner. Over and over and over again, people were creeped out by this invitation. Some politely declined, while others reacted rudely. In each video, though, someone accepted the invitation.

It wasn't as simple and streamlined as dinner, though. The man behind the camera tried to meet people right where they were. One man expressed his embarrassment at only having the clothes on his back. Immediately, the generous man decided to swing by Target on the way to dinner so he could pick out some clothes: pants, shirt, shoes, socks, underwear.....an entire outfit. The homeless man was stunned.

As soon as they arrived at the stranger's house, he invited the man to enjoy a hot shower. Some time later, the homeless man stepped out of the bathroom looking clean and refreshed, with a giant smile on his face. Then, they shared a homemade meal together. Toward the end of the video, the homeless man said, "I've never had an experience like this before."

It was simple. It was unique. It was powerful. These videos moved me so deeply. It reminds me of the biblical principle that we're called to give from what we have, not from what we don't have. We all have something to give, and all it takes is keeping our eyes open and being willing to step in when the moment arises. Or, better yet, seek the moment.

Each of us has something to give, and in our own unique ways. We don't have to copy the generosity of others (such as the man in these videos). Rather, we need to find our own generosity journey. Who we serve and how we serve them is one of the greatest Rubik's Cubes of life. It might seem confounding at first, but after some intentionality and repetition, we discover another side of ourselves that we never knew existed. It's one of life's greatest opportunities, greatest responsibilities, and greatest joys.

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Anti Tipping Fatigue

Years ago, I realized I was living with a conflict of interest. On the one hand, I love dining out so much that I want to maximize the number of times I can do so each month. On the other hand, I like to be extraordinarily generous with my tipping. The tension between these two desires is that the larger I tip, the more I spend on dining out, the fewer times I get to dine out. See my dilemma?!?!

That's when I came up with a little hack I'm about to show you. If I give a normal-ish tip (call it 20%), that comes from our Dining Out category, as any normal restaurant meal would. However, if I decide to go big on my tip (for whatever reason), that tip comes from our Other Giving category. Now that I had a resolution for my constant conflict of interest, it unlocked a new gear in our giving rhythms.

Having this newfound outlet for giving opened so many doors for Sarah and I. We started keeping our eyes open for special opportunities to move the needle in someone's day/life. It gave us additional reps to exercise our giving muscles. It created powerful little moments to engage people in a direct and meaningful way. It forced us to keep giving at the forefront of our daily lives. In other words, this little hack to unlock more and better dining experiences surprisingly played a revolutionary role in building our heart for joyful, sacrificial generosity.

I couldn't recommend this enough. In a culture where people are experiencing tipping fatigue, push the pendulum all the way to the other side via outlandish giving through the lens of tipping. When most servers are expecting to be neglected, shine an even brighter light on their good work.

Wanna feel alive today? Go out to eat at a local restaurant. When you wrap up your meal and leave the tip, walk out of the restaurant (out of sight) and watch your server’s knees buckle as they discover what you just did. You don't need a thank you, acknowledgment, or a pat on the back. You just smile, get in your car, drive away, and know that you might have made a difference in that person's life today. If you ask me, there's nothing better we can spend our money on than that.

Wanna get on the other side of tipping fatigue? Use tipping to create impact on this world, one dining experience at a time.

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