Wednesdays

I'm often accused of having an exciting life. I meet with fascinating people, am engaged with a multitude of different endeavors, and visit interesting places (both here and abroad). On the surface, I can see how people would believe I lead an exciting life. The truth is, however, my life is quite boring. I live a tremendously boring life with some exciting moments sprinkled in. If you don't believe me, you should ask Sarah!

One of the talks at the Global Leadership Summit this week was about how the best leadership is boring. Sure, there are exciting moments and opportunities, but if you were to follow even the most "exciting" leaders around in their day-to-day lives, it's probably pretty boring! The exciting 5% are the highlights, while the boring 95% is where the deep, meaningful, and impactful work gets done in what can feel like the mundane.

And boring is good! I crave boring. I cherish the boring. I love the routines, daily disciplines, and rhythmic schedules. They keep me grounded. They give me peace. They allow me to focus my most creative energies on serving people well. Sure, I love the weird and interesting things I get to do in my life, and I'll never take any of that for granted, but boring is good!

After this talk, Walker Hayes jumped onto the stage with his guitar. Please forgive me, but I had no idea who Walker Hayes is. I've never heard the name before, but from the roar of the audience, I was in the minority (as evidenced by his 1.3M followers on IG). Anyway, Walker comes onto the stage and shares his reflections on the first few talks of the day. Specifically, he shared about how, on the surface, his life as a traveling musician and songwriter is exciting. However, he admitted that his life, too, is also fairly boring.....and that's a good thing. Then, he played a song about it, titled Wednesdays. I encourage you to click the link above or click play on the embedded video below to check it out. So beautiful.

Whatever your day looks like today, whether boring or exciting, I hope it's a beautiful one!

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Your Ideal Reset

My family recently had its annual summer vacation. We take several random trips throughout the year, but this is our sixth year taking this specific trip. It's the highlight of our family's summer, and an event most highly anticipated by all four of us.

Including travel days, we were gone for eight days. If you ask Sarah, she would say that a few more days would be perfect. If you ask me, two to three fewer days would be perfect. Even while having the best time in the world, I start going stir crazy by day six. It's not that I take it for granted or don't love it, but by that time, my mind and body are ready to get back to work.

A study conducted in 2012 found that, on average, the ideal length for a vacation is eight days. That's when we achieve maximum satisfaction before the law of diminishing returns kicks in. If you're not familiar with the law of diminishing returns, think about a delicious apple pie. That first slice is amazing! The second slice is also pretty fantastic! The third slice, though? That third slice starts to make us feel a little lethargic. What about the fourth slice? The fourth slice makes us queasy. What about the fifth? We're in a coma. Somewhere between the first slice and the second slice is peak satisfaction, which begins to diminish after that until we become worse off.

Vacations are the same. After a certain amount of time away, we achieve our peak satisfaction from our trip. Then, the law of diminishing returns kicks in. In my particular situation, I hit that point around day six. I NEED to get back into life and rhythm. I NEED to serve people again. I NEED to re-engage with my company.

The law of diminishing returns is one of the key reasons I vehemently disagree with the notion of early retirement. For those who believe that a life of leisure is the prescription to happiness, the law of diminishing returns has some bad news for you. In practice, a life of leisure eventually becomes empty and unfulfilling.....like that fourth and fifth slice of delicious apple pie. Too much of a good thing can become a very bad thing.

The alternative, though, can be beautiful. A mix of work and play, time on and time off, serving people well before getting a reset, pushing hard and then resting. It's a give and take. We don't have to grind ourselves into a pulp so that we can eventually take our ball and go home. My biggest encouragement is for people to find a permanently sustainable rhythm that you never want to retire from. How amazing would that be!?!?

What about you? What's your ideal vacation timeline? Sarah votes for 10 days. I vote for 5 or 6. The data says 8. What say you?

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Blood Money

I've received countless thoughtful responses to yesterday's post about my friend who turned down his dream job because it would require him to effectively take a $850/month pay cut. His dream, calling, and aspirations were sitting right in front of him, and all he had to do was say "yes." He said "no." Money overcame meaning. He knows that, and he also recognizes that the societal pressures all around him were the driving force for his ultimate decision.

One reader took exception to my analysis and aggressively came to the defense of my friend. "You're a finance guy, Travis. You know the math. If your friend invests $850 each month for the next 25 years, that's $1,000,000. That's how he gets to create generational wealth. He'd be stupid to throw away that opportunity."

The math is correct. $850 contributed per month, at a 9% annual return, for 25 years (300 months), would result in about $950,000. He's absolutely right.

You know what I call that? Blood money. If my friend throws away his dreams, calling, and aspirations for the next 25 years (from age 42 to 67) and instead hoards all of this excess money, he'll end up $1M richer. Last time I checked, he only gets one life. One chance. One opportunity. One shot at this. And he's going to exchange the 25 most productive years of his life for a million dollars?!?!? Blood money!

If you know me (whether personally or through the blog/podcast), you know that I'm a big believer in investing. I teach it, advocate for it, encourage it, and help people execute it. I'm a staunch believer in the power of long-term investing. However, NEVER at the expense of meaning and impact. If our investing prevents us from living a meaningful life or it's at the expense of making an impact on others, it defeats the purpose.

Money for money's sake is like losing the game in the first quarter, but not yet knowing you lost. It's the kind of loss that sneaks up on us and blindsides us just as we thought we were about to win.

Sure, my friend could elect to invest $850/month for the next 25 years by turning down his dream. It will result in a million dollars. That's real money. Alternatively, he could live with meaning and follow his dream, calling, and aspirations, and undoubtedly live an amazing life. Not 25 years from now when he has a ton of money, but today. Today. Tomorrow. Next week. Next month. Next year. Always.

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No Countdowns

We tend to look at lives as some form of long-term countdown. We perceive ourselves (and our loved ones) as 90 years old, then count backwards. I'm 30, I have 60 years left. I'm 50, I have 40 years left. I'm 70, I have 20 years left. For whatever reason, we put this arbitrary date on our proverbial calendar, then measure our time against that.

One of my friends recently found out his wife has "One to three months" left to live. In their 30s, their internal clock probably said they had 60 more years left in the countdown. Then, at the snap of a finger, their countdown is reduced to 30-90 days.

There are no countdowns. All we have is today, plus whatever tomorrow brings. There's a tension in that unknown, as we must embrace today for all it is while also preparing for the future in our imagination. We might be gone tomorrow......or still here at 90.

I've mentioned several times on this blog that I've always had a feeling that my time would come sooner rather than later. It's not a comforting feeling, but it has helped me think a lot about this topic.

While I spend much of my professional time helping families prepare for the long run, I also beat on the drum of living with meaning TODAY. If all we do is live for today, we might end up sabotaging our future selves. On the flip side, if all we do is live for the future, we might never actually live with true meaning. Again, the tension.

In a world with no countdowns, the answer feels obvious to me. Simply live with meaning. Live with meaning today, live with meaning tomorrow, and hopefully, God willing, continue living with meaning when we're 90. If we're living with meaning, everything else will eventually sort itself out. It's not about how much we spend, save, or invest. It's not really a mathematical conversation at all. Instead, let's look past the money and aggressively pursue meaning for meaning's sake. In a world with no countdowns, meaning is the thread that holds it all together.

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A Hole Full of Water

Yesterday, I had the privilege of swimming with my kids. If you're a parent of small children, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Never underestimate the power of a hole full of water. There's something magical about it for kids. For hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, the boys swam, jumped, and splashed around. We dove for toys, did handstands, practiced our cannonballs, made hurling football catches, and plenty of other silly games.

To me, this represents the simplicity of life. Life doesn't require massive outlays of money, elaborate plans, and exotic destinations. Often, it just requires a hole full of water. Perhaps not literally a hole full of water, but a figurative hole full of water. The simple things are the best things. The simple things are the most valuable things. That principle applies to adults just as much as it does to kids.

Think about your purest moments of peace. Do they revolve around some elaborate and expensive endeavor? I suspect most people's answers will be a hole full of water type answer.

My hole full of water is a cup of black coffee in the morning, a long walk with a good podcast playing in my ears, and watching a movie at night with kids positioned against both my hips. Those are my holes full of water. Simple, pure, inexpensive, and priceless.

What are your holes full of water? Whatever they are, keep going back to those wells.

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Empty Soul, and Tons of Regret

As I was scrolling social media last night, I stumbled upon something that stopped me in my tracks. It was a distraught-looking middle-aged man staring into the bathroom mirror, with the following text plastered across the screen: "30 years of service to a job, and all you have to show for it is an empty house, empty soul, and tons of regret." I'm not going to share the post, as my thoughts aren't as much about this particular man as they are about the broader phenomenon.

I've seen this look on too many faces. I've heard these words from too many mouths. So many people (especially men) are suffering in silence.

One of the root causes of this phenomenon is our perspective on work:

1. We generally view work as a necessary evil. We expect work to suck, then just like clockwork, it sucks.

2. If work sucks, then the objective becomes the race to someday quit working (i.e., retirement).

3. If work is supposed to suck and our goal is to get to the finish line as quickly as possible, we unintentionally create a self-fulfilling prophecy in the selection of our job(s).

4. When we spend half of our waking hours at work, and said work is soul-sucking, then there's probably not a lot of gas left in the tank for the things we do actually care about. Thus, those things also suffer. Our relationships, our hobbies, and our passions.

5. When we finally "win" the race and get to retirement, we realize this life of leisure wasn't actually the answer after all. That brings on an entirely new level of pain and emptiness.

6. Enter the regrets.

The solution to this is unbelievably simple, yet so very difficult. It's called aggressively and violently pursuing meaning each and every day. Every day matters. Weekend days matter. Work days matter. Holidays matter. Vacation days matter. Young days matter. Middle-aged days matter. Older days matter.

But if we live our lives as if half our waking hours don't matter because we at least have the rest, the pain starts to bleed into all the days. Instead, what if all the days mattered? What if we found just as much meaning in our job as we did in our home life? What if our work provided a similar richness that our weekends provide?

It's simple. It's difficult. It's attainable. It's worth it.

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It’s NEVER Too Late

A few readers have recently accused me of being fatalistic in my two recent posts about rich vs. wealthy. The first post is HERE, and the second post is HERE. In short, I made the argument that there's a massive difference between being wealthy (all about money) and being rich (nothing about money). I followed it up by saying it's possible to have both, but the irony is the journey to both requires us to pursue rich (meaning), not wealthy (money). Meaning over money, if you will. When we pour our blood, sweat, tears, and passions into something, there's a strong likelihood we'll have some form of financial success.

Here's what one reader said about my two posts: "I feel like you're telling people that once they pick a road, they are screwed. That's it. That's your fate."

First, I totally understand how someone could read into my words and think that. I'm always grateful for the back-and-forth with readers; that's what gives this daily blog a soul!

Here's where I land on this topic. Not only do I disagree with the notion that once you pick a path, you're screwed, but I would double (er, triple!) down on the idea that it's NEVER too late to choose rich. It's NEVER too late to opt into meaning. It's NEVER too late to aggressively pursue work that matters.

I regularly tell 40-somethings that today is a great day to change their lives and take drastically different paths. Sure, they might have been chasing money, stuff, and status for two decades now, but they still have so much time left. It's NEVER too late.

I regularly receive messages from blog readers and podcast listeners who say something along the lines of (paraphrased), "I used to pursue money, but now I pursue meaning." Here's one thing all of these messages had in common. Almost every single person who switched their priority from being wealthy to being rich said they are so glad they did. Nobody ever says they regret pursuing the meaning and wish they would go back to pursuing money. Interesting!

In summary, after my unexpected three-part series, here's where I land on the topic:

• Being rich ALWAYS surpasses being wealthy.

• You can have both, but the path to both requires the pursuit of meaning.

• It's NEVER too late to change your mind and take a different path.

Regardless of whether you're 17 or 87, you still have time. Make that precious time count!

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Yes, You Can Have Both, But….

One of my friends was livid at yesterday's post. In it, I discussed the difference between being wealthy and being rich. Being wealthy has everything to do with money, and being rich has nothing to do with money. I concluded the piece with this: "I'll die on the hill a million times that rich far exceeds wealthy every day of the week."

My friend, a very wealthy man, told me that my perspective on this topic is "small-minded" and "narrow." In his words, "Why choose one when you can have both?"

He's absolutely right......in the most wrong of ways. By his own admission, based on my definition of rich, he's poor. But now that he has wealth, he's going to find richness. However, in his mind, wealth is the key to subsequently finding richness. He couldn't be further from the truth. I'll save the gut-wrenching stories and gory details for confidentiality's sake, but he'll be the first to admit that his life lacks joy, meaning, and purpose. There's a lot of brokenness and pain caused by his steady pursuit of wealth.

His original point is right, though. You can be both wealthy and rich. It's not one or the other. However, there's an irony here. The only way to get both (in most cases) is to simply pursue richness. His own testimony is the cautionary tale of what happens when we try to pursue wealth. We just might find it, but it's not all that it's cracked up to be. Plus, the journey to get there often involves actions, decisions, and behaviors that sabotage our ability to have a rich life.

On the flip side, the pursuit of a rich life becomes more about the journey than the destination. It involves actions, decisions, and behaviors that lead to more meaning, purpose, and impact. Here's the irony. When we aggressively live with meaning, money often follows. That's not some prosperity gospel-type stuff, but rather a reality: when we pour our blood, sweat, tears, and passions into something that matters deeply to us, it's hard not to find some level of success. The journey toward meaning often intersects with excellence and impact, which translates into some form of compensation.

I'm not suggesting we have to choose between meaning and money......but I am 100% suggesting we ought to violently pursue meaning. Then, we let the chips fall how they may.

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Rich vs. Wealthy

There are two families in this story.

Family A has a household income of $550,000. They live in a big house in a gated community, drive luxury vehicles, and belong to a few exclusive local country clubs. They wear nice clothes, send their kids to private school, and are generally viewed as "successful."

Family B has a household income of $85,000. They live in a modest house, drive 8-year-old cars, and don't belong to any clubs. They wear forgettable clothes, send their kids to public school, and probably aren't viewed as much of anything.

Which family would you like to be?

From a money, stuff, and status perspective, Family A has it going on in all the right places. They've made it! They are living the American Dream, and I suspect many people look up to them as the model for where they would like to be someday.

From a money, stuff, and status perspective, Family B leaves a lot to be desired. They are living the most normal lives imaginable. I'm not sure anyone looks at them and envies their lives. Nobody is modeling their lives after them, saying to themselves, "Someday, I'd like to be where they are!"

Family A is wealthy, but Family B is rich.

Here's what we don't see. Family A, while having all the visible attributes of success, is struggling. There's a lot of financial tension in the marriage. Neither spouse particularly likes their jobs. Vacations are an act of escapism, but at the end of the trip, a feeling of dread sinks back in. From a day-to-day, week-to-week perspective, "joy" isn't a word that would describe their lives. They are busy, busy, busy, but that only adds to the stress.

Family B, on the other hand, is rich. While they don't have the material wealth that our society would deem successful, they live with so much peace and meaning. Every time I sit down with them, I'm inspired to be more like them. More purpose, more love, and more contentment. Their marriage is amazing, they feel almost no financial tension, and they both wake up each day excited for the good work they're about to do. They are rich!

Being wealthy is not the same as being rich. One has everything to do with money, and the other has nothing to do with money. I've had the opportunity to be both wealthy and rich, and I'll die on the hill a million times that rich far exceeds wealthy every day of the week. That's the essence of meaning over money. When we aim to live a wealthy life, we might just find what we're looking for. When we aim to live a rich life, though, we'll inevitably find deep meaning and impact to the degree many people will never understand.

I wish you much richness.

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Everything Is Temporary

As humans, we tend to possess a fatalistic view of life. We treat many (or most) decisions, whether big or small, as permanent. The cars we buy, the houses we live in, the jobs we take, the hobbies we pick up, the clubs we join, the people we associate with.....and the list goes on.

One of my friends recently shared how he's miserable in his job but doesn't know what to do.

Another friend just moved into what he's calling his "forever home."

A former youth group kid is beating himself up over what major to select in college, as that single decision will cement his career path.

One of my clients is frustrated after selling a car she couldn't afford and buying a car she can afford. To her, this simply feels like her new reality.

Another client is in the midst of a brutal season of paying off debt. The budget is tight, and most dollars are going to the bank. It feels like this season will last forever.

No matter our situation, everything is temporary.

That job you have? You'll either leave it for something else or retire from it. It's temporary.

That forever home? You'll either let the hedonic treadmill push you into a new "forever home," downsize into something smaller, or die. It's temporary.

Your college major? You'll either use it, or you won't. Or maybe you will for a while, then do something else. It's temporary.

That crappy car you're driving during this season of life? If you take care of your business, you'll soon be driving something better. It's temporary.

Does it suck paying off debt every single month? Eventually, you'll be free from the mess and you'll live in a completely new (and debt-free!) reality. It's temporary.

There's so much freedom in knowing that everything we do is temporary. No decision is forever. No reality is everlasting. No suffering is perpetual. To me, as a Christian, the only forever that exists is what happens after I die; the rest is just noise. So, today, remember that. No matter how high or how low you feel, everything is temporary. If that's true, it should give you tremendous freedom to simply live a meaningful life, unafraid of this false (and inaccurate) sense of forever. Carpe Diem!

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Always the Long-Term

I still can't over how my convertible survived my stupidity and the flash flood I subjected it to. Two days removed from floodgate, everything seems to be working. The stereo, speakers, automatic seats, dashboard controls.....everything! Unbelievable! Not only that, but the car is 19 years old. So today, a huge shout-out to the engineers at Nissan who created something nearly two decades ago that could withstand all that life would throw at it. I think it's truly remarkable!

It makes me think about a concept TJ and I discuss often as we build Northern Vessel. Whenever a decision needs to be made, we filter it through the lens of the following question: Which option is better for the firm 10 years from now? It's always about the long-term for us. That may not always sound fun, but in my experience, it ALWAYS yields the best outcomes. However, in order for that principle to carry forward, we must be willing to accept delayed gratification.

Here's one example where we didn't follow this principle. In December 2023, we thought it would be fun (and financially advantageous) to run a crazy gift card special for the Christmas season. For a 15-day window, we ran a buy-one-get-one special on $20 gift cards. For every $20 gift card purchased, customers would receive a $20 gift card for free. We had some strategic reasons for pulling the trigger on such an insane idea. One of the reasons was to boost cashflow for some upcoming projects. In just 15 days, we sold nearly $30,000 of gift cards......and gave away another $30,000 of gift cards.

While that cashflow influx (and the other ancillary benefits of getting thousands of NV gift cards in stockings and under trees) was nice, it was a decision that benefited us more in the short term than the long term. Fast forward 19 months, and we're just now starting to run on a net positive monthly gift card variance. When we made that decision, we failed to consider which decision would be better in the long term.

I'd like to think those Nissan engineers who spent lots of time, energy, and money designing and building a car that would thrive in the long term. Sure, they could have cut corners and boosted gross margins by producing a slightly cheaper vehicle, but they chose the long-term. As a customer, I'm so grateful for that. Today, I tip my cap to those engineers from 20+ years ago who considered the long term and saved my bacon two decades later.

It's so hard to view life through this lens. After all, the sexier and more enjoyable decision is almost always the one that benefits us more in the short term. Signing up for car payments vs. investing monthly. That Chipotle burrito vs. paying down debt. Focusing on our core products vs. grabbing whatever income streams we can find. Obsessing about excellence vs. trying to drum up more customers. Hitting the fast-food drive-thru vs. making a healthy meal at home. Taking a high-paying job we don't care about vs. a lower-paying job we might love.

If we were wise, every decision would be framed through the lens of what benefits us more 10 years from now. We might not like the answer (today), but our future selves will thank us soon enough!

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Your Youngest You

I had a blast speaking to a few hundred high school kids yesterday. There aren't many things I'd change about my talk, which is a rare thing for me to say. As I was staring at so many young faces, it dawned on me how not young I am. It's kinda depressing to think that I have 25-30 years on them. Where does time go!?!?

It's so easy to look at young people and wish we were younger again. We tell ourselves that we'd give anything to go back in time. Take all my money. Take all my status. Take all my accomplishments. Take all my everything. I'd give up every single thing in my life to be younger again.

On the flip side, think about this. Imagine future you, 30 years into the future. That older version of you would also give up all the money, status, accomplishments, and everything to be where you are right now. In some ways, that makes your status in life worth more than all the money in the world. You're the youngest you'll ever be. Youth is your friend. There's so much opportunity in front of you.

Think about that today, then act accordingly. Today is your youngest you.

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Get To

I was recently chatting with one of our young Northern Vessel employees, and he said something awesome: "My friends always talk about having to go to work. I get to go to work."

He went on to share about how much he enjoys working for us. He mentioned his co-workers, the leadership, our guests, the culture, learning new skills, being challenged, and, of course, making money.

Is this the perfect job in the world? Depends on who you ask. I'd like to think we've done a good job creating a culture that people want to engage with. However, I think a MAJOR factor is this young man's perspective. He has a healthy perspective of work and intentionally seeks meaning in it, which drives his get-to attitude.

On a related note, one of my eight-year-olds was excited to return home from a handful of days in KC visiting his cousins. Yeah, I think he was excited to see me, but he was also excited to mow. He didn't have to mow.....he got to mow. I gave both kids the option, and Finn jumped at it.

Similar to our NV barista, Finn's passion for the work is a mix of things. He's always had a heart for mowing, he enjoys seeing the visual progress of his actions, he knows it's a way to serve his family, and, of course, the money. By the time he got done, he was hot, sweaty, and content. He was also $30 richer, which made him smile.

Is mowing the best job in the world? Depends on who you ask. In Finn's case, while I believe he has some passion for it, I think he has a really healthy attitude towards it. His perspective is healthy, which drives his get-to attitude.

Whatever is on your plate today, I encourage you to have a get-to attitude. Whether it's the best work in the world, or something far from perfect, the work matters. You can treat it like a have-to, or a get-to. The choice is yours, and that choice will play a significant role in how it goes. Always choose "get to."

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Meanwhile, Everyone Else Is Spinning

I received THE best follow-up message from my recent 'Our Eyes Deceive Us' post about the importance of proper context. To summarize, I highlighted how my family's $1,000/month travel spending allocation ruffles a lot of feathers......often the same feathers that unknowingly actually spend far more than that in their own lives.

This reader commented that their monthly travel budget is $1,500, and each time they take a fun trip, people in their life respond with, "Must be nice." Oh, you know how much I love the phrase, "Must be nice."

Is this blog reader outlandishly rich and just throwing money around like it's going out of style? My understanding of this family tells me they don't. Instead, I get the sense that this family simply prioritizes the things that matter most to them in life......and disregards the rest. In fact, in the e-mail, they pointed out that if they were forced to reduce spending in their budget, travel "would be one of the last things we cut." Again, more than anything, this tells me that this family understands who they are, what they value, and successfully shuts out the noise. It's beautiful!

Meanwhile, everyone else is spinning in circles. Most of the "must be nice" people around us are so busy spending money on things that don't actually matter to them that they don't leave margin to invest in things that do. This isn't some provocative theory; it's a recurring theme I've observed in countless families. It's so easy to fall into this trap!

The car payments, the inflated mortgage payments, the constant credit card churn......all these items lead to a leaky bucket that prevents us from being able to actually live the life we desire. We may think we want the big houses, fancy cars, and high-end lifestyles, but the data says otherwise. You wouldn't believe the number of people who rock out $1,000/month vehicle payments and have no emotional attachment to their vehicles. Or the people who decided to purchase houses that far exceed their needs and budgets, who are secretly living house-poor. Or the people who are busy living a status-boosting lifestyle, but would actually prefer more peace. This isn't me casting judgment on people....I've been there!

To the reader who graciously sent me that e-mail, I hope it is nice! I hope it's nice to travel. I hope it's nice to live in accordance with your values. And I hope it's nice to block out all the noise! I hope people continue to watch the example you set, and ultimately decide to follow in your footsteps.

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Childlike Wonder

Sarah and I took the boys to a dinner theater show last night. It was a phenomenal experience. I wondered how much they would enjoy it, but to my surprise, they came alive and soaked in every second of it. My favorite part was watching the kids yell, scream, cheer, and boo as the action was playing out. They were all in!

I often wonder at what age most of us lose that zest, that imagination, and that wonder. There's a moment in life where we go from having that childlike wonder to getting hit with a blast of reality. It's like our dreams, creativity, and imagination were robbed from under our noses without us even knowing it.

One of my commitments over the past decade has been to live with more childlike wonder. I crave to see things differently and be crazy enough to ask, "Why not?" Every ounce of me wants to revolt against what's normal and expected, instead sharing my version of creativity with the world.

Truthfully, I feel younger now than 15 years ago. While my body certainly isn't, my mind, soul, and imagination are. It's so easy to lose sight of those things in life. After all, life can be brutal. It can often feel like we're repeatedly getting punched by circumstances. It's no wonder we often abandon our childlike wonder, and grasp survival instead.

Watching my kids last night was yet another reminder of how important our imagination, creativity, curiosity, and wonder really are. There's nothing more joyful than living life with that zest that only small children seem to possess.

I have some absolutely insane ideas that have been fighting to come out for a while now. Outside of my assistant and a few close friends, very few people know about some of these ridiculous ideas. Watching my kids over the last few days has been all the affirmation I need to pull the trigger and just say "yes" to some of these quirky inspirations.

As for you, I hope you find a way to keep hold of that childlike wonder that once fueled you. Some of it is still there, even if placed deep on the back burner. Perhaps today is the day to dust it back off.

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A Little Discretion Goes a Long Way

If you know me, you know I LOVE food! I have a soft spot in my heart for unique and memorable dining experiences. I deeply treasure the financial investment in a good meal at a restaurant.

At the same time, I feel like so much of my coaching work is spent trying to encourage families to tone down their dining out spending. It's not that I'm against dining out (obviously), but sometimes a family's dining out spending is actually detrimental to their broader objectives.

For example, let's say a family is trying to pay off a bunch of debt or commit to investing. For multiple reasons, there's just not enough margin in the budget to make meaningful progress in these goals. Therefore, we scan their budget to find ways to free up margin. Here's how one of those recent conversations played out. About three-quarters of the way down the budget, we find this: "Dining Out: $800." This is a single-month number for two parents and two under-10 kids.

This is the moment where I point out that perhaps $800 is a bit heavy.

"But we hardly even go out to eat. We maybe go out once per week. I don't think we can cut this category."

**This is me doing my best to keep a straight face**

I happen to live in a family with two parents and two under-10 kids, and live in the same town they do.

I didn't do a good job of keeping my straight face, and they could see my skepticism. "It costs at least $120 just to go to xyz restaurant. Going out to eat is ridiculously expensive these days!"

It was ironic they used xyz restaurant as an example, as my family just visited xyz restaurant the prior week.

"Well, I took my family to xyz restaurant last week, and our total bill was $45."

"That's impossible!"

We compared notes. When my family goes to this restaurant, we order three entrees and eat family style; plenty of food! We also get water. No appetizers, no desserts. When they go to this restaurant, they each order a full adult entree.....which is beyond overkill for their family. But first, they start with an appetizer or two. Everyone also gets a "fun drink," as my kids call them. Lastly, they might get some desserts to polish off the night.

A little discretion goes a long way. Please don't hear me condemning their dining experience. I'm all for going all-in on dining. However, it's a party foul to use no discretion, spend $120 for what could have been accomplished with $45, call it a need, and subsequently whiff on your goals. Sometimes, we need to have boundaries.

For those of you interested, my family's monthly dining out budget averages $250 these days. It's rarely glamorous, but it does provide a margin for multiple outings with my family each month, plus a date night. We could definitely push this number higher, but for now, it allows us to knock out some other goals. There's a season for everything.

A little discretion goes a long way. Please don't allow "normal" to sweep you away and rob you of your goals that matter most.

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Finn’s Reminder

I had a killer idea for today's post, but one moment knocked it right out of me. Last night, shortly after bedtime, I was getting some work done on the couch when out of the blue, Finn came walking out. He approached me, gave me a big hug, and said, "You're the best dad ever. I'm so glad you're my dad." Then, as quickly as he arrived, he scurried back to bed.

Dang, that was unexpected. There are lots of days when I feel like I whiffed, screwed up, or wasn't present enough. Then, there was last night. Between you and me, I really needed that.

These last few days have been a lot of fun in our house. Yeah, there have been lots of sibling fighting, arguing, and tormenting. Yeah, it's been stressful at times. Yeah, I've thought about drop-kicking a little man. But we've had so many small, special moments together. It's been a special run in our house, and for that, I'm so grateful.

Truthfully, the special moments haven't been some profound event. Rather, it's more so a matter of seizing those small little moments. Watching fireworks, sharing snacks, running around in the rain, watching new movies, going on walks, quick trips to the store, and cruising around town. These things seem so innocent and pedestrian, but to our children, they can significantly move the needle.

This is my semi-regular reminder that we don't need to spend a ton of money to create memories. Blowing the bank, taking a bunch of PTO, and racking up the credit card is not a prerequisite to creating memories and sharing experiences with our kids. Usually, it just requires us to slow down, be present, and live in the moment.

I'm sharing this reminder with you today, but in all seriousness, I'll probably set a reminder to have this post shared with me periodically so I don't forget, either. It's so easy to get swept up by life. Let's endeavor to fight that current.

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Freedom Has a Catch

Social media was ablaze yesterday, filled with people lamenting about how we're not actually free. There was anger, embarrassment, resentment, and condemnation. Do we live in a perfect country? No way! Is it a free country? I've traveled to approximately forty countries over the years, all wonderful in their own ways, and have yet to find one that offers the same level of freedom and opportunity as America. Traveling abroad is one of my favorite things in life, and I always find nuances and dynamics in each country that I deeply admire (perhaps enough to move there at some point in my life), but I always return to America with a sense of gratitude for what it is. Again, we're not perfect....not even close.

When I look around and see what people around me are doing with their lives, I'm humbled. I have countless examples, but here’s one. I know a guy who immigrated to this country when he was 17. He didn't know a single word of English, and as he puts it, he was "poor poor." It was a struggle for him, to say the least. Fast forward a few decades, and he's created a beautiful career and life for his family. He, too, would acknowledge this country isn't perfect. On the flip side, when asked about his decision to move to America, he had this to say: "There's nowhere else in the world where a man like me could move to and have the opportunity to do what I've done. I owe a debt of gratitude to this country, as does everyone who comes after me. I love this place so much. I'm proud to be an American."

Whenever I talk to people who feel stuck in their work and believe they have no options, I think of my friends like the man above. Each of us has the freedom and power to choose our work. There are millions of jobs out there, each with its own positives and negatives. None of them are perfect, but some would be perfect fits for each of us.

It always feels ironic to me that 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, yet we all live in a country that allows us the opportunity to shift our work at any time. Countless people in my life walk this ironic path. They are miserable, yet don't feel compelled to do anything about it.

That's the catch with freedom. Yes, we're free. Yes, opportunity is abound. Yes, we have countless options. However, the catch is that we each must raise our hand, say "yes," step forward, and take action to harness that freedom. No matter how good or how bad you have it right now, better is on the other side of stepping into the freedom.

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Freedoms

Every July 4th, I find myself dwelling on the word "freedom." Yes, of course, the freedoms we celebrate in America as a result of the events that transpired nearly 250 years ago. However, this day also makes me reflect on other types of freedom. So many freedoms to be thankful for!

On July 4th, 2009, I didn't exactly feel free. I had recently moved to Iowa in what can only be described as an involuntary relocation. My company in Kansas City had been shut down, everyone fired, and I had a gut-wrenching decision in front of me: Join my newly unemployed friends in one of the worst job markets of our lifetime, or pick up my entire life, leave everything I loved, relocate to a different state, and keep my job. Oh yeah, did I mention I had been engaged for three days? Wonderful times!

There was an elephant in the room that seemed to have more decision-making power than me: the $236,000 of debt hanging around my neck. For several years, I had made some questionable choices that didn't seem like a big deal.......until they became my worst nightmare. So there I was, on July 4th, 2009, reflecting on how I didn't exactly feel free. I felt enslaved to my debt, my job, and my past choices.

Luckily, that wasn't the end of the story, but rather just the beginning. Sarah and I married later that year, began building a life together in Iowa, and eventually paid off the $236,000 in debt. Month by month, win by win, our lives slowly began to shift. Getting out of that debt was one of the most freeing experiences I've ever had.

Fast forward more than a decade, and I get to dedicate my life to helping other people achieve freedom.

The freedom from debt.

The freedom from living other people's values.

The freedom to aggressively pursue work that matters.

The freedom to be outrageously generous.

The freedom to live counter to the prevailing culture.

The freedom to build that business they had always dreamed of.

The freedom from money being a tension point in their marriages.

The freedom to live for the meaning, not the money.

Whether you're celebrating a freedom today, or in the midst of pursuing one, I hope you take a few minutes to reflect on your journey with a spirit of gratitude, dedication, and aspiration. The best is yet to come. Happy 4th of July, everyone!

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The Wrong Scorecard

I just had a heartbreaking conversation with an acquaintance. He's in his mid-50s, married, with two children who are about to graduate from high school. He confidentially shared this with me, but also asked me to anonymously write and podcast about it.

Here's the context. This man can no doubt be considered successful. He has a prominent position in a prominent company. He's played the game, worked hard, navigated his way up the corporate ladder, and consequently, has reaped many financial rewards. He and his wife live in a large, beautiful suburban home, drive luxury cars, send their kids to a prestigious school, and live a VERY comfortable life. He aggressively and diligently invested throughout his career, leading him to a point where he has more than enough to retire right now (let's call it +/- $5 million). In his mid-50s, he could easily walk away from his job today and never worry about money again.

You're probably reading this and thinking to yourself, "Yeah, what's the problem? I'd love to be in his shoes!"

What he said next is where the story takes a dark turn. "If I could do it all over again, I'd do everything differently. I think I was using the wrong scorecard."

His work pursuits and the demands of his job required him to be away from his family on an almost weekly basis. As he framed it, his kids are about ready to leave the house, and he doesn't even feel like he knows them. Now that he has this pot of wealth and the ability to hit the career eject button, he feels this massive void and missed opportunity. His kids are about ready to leave the house, he finds little to no meaning in his work (other than the money it produces), and he has no passions, hobbies, or interests outside of making more money. "Now that I look back, it all feels kind of worthless."

He confided in me because it's deeply embarrassing. He feels pretty guilty about having this level of regret and shame when most people would give their left thumb to be in his shoes. "It doesn't feel as good as I thought it would."

For decades, he believed the appropriate scorecard to measure his success was his bank account and the freedom it provided him. Today, though, he's seeing things through a different lens. Now that he has the financial freedom to walk away from work, retire into the sunset, and live a blessed financial life, he realizes there might have been a different (and better) scorecard to use for this journey called life.

He and I spent many hours talking about meaning, impact, generosity, and contentment. The importance of being a father and husband. The need to disconnect our identity from our money, stuff, and status. The deep, inherent, God-given hunger to be productive and add value to other people's lives. The realization that no amount of money will truly make us happy. The soul-filling, life-giving power of generosity. It was a beautiful conversation.

Bad news: This man has been using the wrong scorecard for decades.

Good news: He can change the scorecard today!

What scorecard are you using?

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