Just Take a Step

You never know what will happen by simply taking a step. Some steps are insignificant. Some steps move us forward. Some steps hinder our progress. Some steps change everything. Here's the problem: We rarely know which is which.

In the fall of 2015, I received a phone call from a guy I barely knew. His name was Gary Hoag (yes, the same Gary I often talk about in my writing). I had only met him one time at that point, but I was excited to speak to him again. Long story short, he called to ask if I would be interested in joining him in some international ministry. The next step would be for Sarah and me to fly to Asia to interview with the board. I had never been to Asia. I had lots of emotions. I was excited, anxious, and overwhelmed. What should I do?!?!

I took a step. I booked plane tickets and we boarded a plane for Asia. Some steps change everything; this step changed everything. Ten years later, I still call these people family. I've experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows with these people. I've seen the best of humanity, and the worst of humanity. I've seen the overwhelming awesomeness of God, and the absolute brokenness of our world. I've seen things I can never unsee.....for better or for worse. Through it all, we've done it together. Grateful doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about this group of people.

All because I took a step. One simple step. That step could have meant nothing. It could have been insignificant. It could have been as forgettable as any step. We never know which is which. But this particular step changed everything.

We humans are so good at saying no, justifying inaction, and normalizing the status quo. Sometimes, though, we just need to take a step. No, we won't know where our steps will lead. No, we don't know if it will impact us. No, there's no certainty our lives will be better for it. However, there's no way for us to experience life-changing steps without first being willing to simply take a step.

Taking a step is one of the hardest things about the human experience. It's risky. It's scary. It's uncertain. All true, but it can also be beautiful. Today, I challenge you to take a step. I don't know what your step is, but I think you do. There's something you know you need to step into. It could be nothing.....or it could change everything.

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It’s the Third Question For Me

Why do some people succeed while others flounder? Is it luck? Good/bad fortune? Circumstance? I think about this a lot as I watch people all around me.

One of my favorite speakers at the Global Leadership Summit this year was former Alabama football coach Nick Saban. Coach Saban is arguably one of the best football coaches of all time, with a resume to back it up. One of the most interesting things he talked about at the Summit was how he approached his players.

When he first met a player, he would ask them three questions:

1. What are your personal goals? Some players wanted to be a starter. Some wanted to graduate. Some wanted to make the NFL.

2. Working backward, what do you need to do to achieve those goals? In other words, if a player wanted to make the NFL, what specific steps would the player need to take to make it happen?

3. Are you willing to do what it takes to see it through?

It's the third question for me! Lots of people have goals. Some people plot out the steps to make it happen. Few have the fortitude to actually achieve them. Talk is cheap, action is work, and perpetual consistency is tremendously difficult.

Very few people have the fortitude to do what it actually takes to achieve the goal. I'll give you two personal examples. For years, I've wanted to be a high-level professional speaker. I absolutely love the idea. However, a few years ago, I plotted out what I would need to do to make it happen. Truthfully, I'm not willing to do what it takes to make it happen. I used to feel guilty about that, but when push came to shove, the cost for other areas of my life wasn't worth the prize. I've mourned that loss, but it's an intentional choice.

Here's the other side of that coin. TJ, my Northern Vessel business partner, has a unique dream. He wants to create the single best coffee shop in America. Just like the speaking dream, we've drawn out what needs to happen to bring that dream to life. We know what must be done. Finally, the third question: Are we willing to do what it takes to see it through?

The answer is a resounding "Yes!" We're 100% able, willing, and excited to do what needs to be done to bring that dream to life. It's a brutal endeavor, but a beautiful one. It's become one of the greatest joys of my life, and I never take that for granted. Will we actually become the best coffee shop in America? Time will tell, but we're committed to the pursuit of excellence.

That third question is what matters most. Think about what you want most. Really think about it! Are you willing to do what it takes to bring it to life? The honest answer to that question probably tells you everything you need to know.

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Block By Block

Yesterday was a special day for me. Nobody knew it was a special day, but I felt it from front to back. Pax has really come alive these past few days, actively engaging with the various leaders we're spending time with. Yesterday alone, Pax spent time with leaders from five different countries and was exposed to six different languages. Every once in a while, he would give me a look. It was a look that communicated some combination of impressed, curious, and excited. He was like a sponge. His eyes are opening to the world, and his curiosity is palpable.

As the day progressed, I could see him gaining more confidence. He asked more questions, volunteered to help out, and approached people whom, just a few days prior, he seemed intimidated by. Block by block.

"Dad, when can we go to Mongolia?" Those words are music to my ears. His view of the world is expanding. He's starting to see a bigger picture forming. He's beginning to think about people outside his own little bubble. Block by block.

A few of the men said they were going to swim out into Lake Huron, where there's a large sand bar a few hundred feet out. It's an intimidating lake that's more akin to an ocean. Water as far as the eyes can see, with waves caused by the recent storm continuously crashing on shore. Pax, having grown in his confidence and trust in this diverse group of leaders, eagerly and excitedly jumped in with us. Block by block.

Will this week change Pax's life? Maybe, but probably not. However, what he's experiencing during his time here is a key building block in a broader journey. It's uncomfortable, but fulfilling. It's nerve-wracking, but exciting. Man, I'm proud of that little guy. We still have a few days left, and I'm excited to watch both boys add a few more blocks.

Perhaps this message is for your kids.....or maybe it's for you. Block by block. Every experience (especially the ones that put us out of our comfort zone) is an opportunity to add a block. Subject yourself to new, interesting, and challenging experiences. Put yourself out there. Find new ways to serve. Engage with people who are different than you. Embrace new cultures. Every single block makes us better.

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Loaded Freighters

After a full day of meetings in eastern Michigan yesterday, we spent the evening walking alongside Lake Huron just a stone's throw from Canada. Pax and I threw the football (while he was running imaginary routes around the seagulls), Finn looked for fossils along the beach, the adults engaged in conversation, and we all enjoyed the beautiful sunset. One of the highlights was watching the freighters work through the narrow channel between the U.S. and Canada. These massive vessels are the length of two to three football fields, yet navigate confidently through the choppy waters.

I noticed something interesting while watching these vessels. One of them was fully loaded. I can't even imagine how much weight it was carrying, but the sheer scale was amazing. It sat fairly deep in the water, and its pace was slow. I suspect it takes a massive amount of fuel to propel it, and turning is probably a tricky endeavor.

The second freighter appeared empty. It sat higher in the water and moved quickly. The vessel seemed more nimble and likely required less fuel to propel it through the water.

I think that's a fitting analogy for how we live. Some of us are loaded freighters, weighed down with so many material possessions. Our lives are full of stuff and financial obligations. There's a heftiness to it. We move more slowly and we're less nimble. It takes more fuel (i.e., money) to propel us through life as we try to carry all this weight.

Other people, though, live life like an empty freighter. Their lives are simpler and more prudent. Since they float higher on the water, they are more nimble and can more easily pivot when desired. They require far less fuel to propel them through life. The empty freighters of life often live with far more margin and need fewer resources to maintain the status quo.

I remember a time when I lived like a loaded freighter. It gets tiring after a while! While the various freight I carried was kinda cool, the perpetual weight grew tiring. Eventually, I looked in the mirror and asked myself what I was doing. Was it really worth carrying around all this weight? What if I didn't have this pulling me down? What decisions could I make if I unloaded some of it? What pivots would life allow if I could be more nimble?

The answers to those questions changed everything. In a very short period of time, we shifted from living like a loaded freighter to an empty freighter. We felt freer, decisions felt easier, and we were able to pivot in ways I only previously dreamed about. It changed my life, and I've watched similar decisions change countless other families' lives as well. There's something oh so beautiful about unloading the freight. It might not seem like much on the surface, but below the water, it makes all the difference in the world!

Perhaps it's time to unload some of the freight.

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The Discomfort in Comfort

During the same conversation that sparked yesterday's post about the willful pursuit of discomfort, one of my friends shared something interesting. He pointed out that there's an irony in our culture's pursuit of comfort—specifically, the pursuit of material comfort (stuff and status). The more we pursue material comfort, the more uncomfortable we actually become.

Here's how this plays out. I'll pretend I just purchased an expensive car. To pull the trigger, I probably had to spend some cash on the down payment. That cash expenditure results in me having less cash in the bank, which is a form of discomfort. Second, I now have a large monthly car payment, reducing my available monthly take-home income, which is a form of discomfort. Now that I own this nicer car, I need more expensive insurance coverage. This added expenditure is a form of discomfort.

Now that I'm driving around in an expensive car, I'll probably keep my head on a swivel, ensuring nobody gets close to it. I'll park in the back of every lot, be careful where I'm going, and constantly keep my eyes out for trouble/damage. This added attention and vigilance is a form of discomfort.

Now that I spend a larger chunk of my financial resources on this car, there are other ripple effects. I'll probably need to make one (or more) of the following choices:

• I'll have less discretionary income for travel or other fun purchases (leading to immediate pleasure discomfort).

• I'll have less money to save for future needs (leading to near-term or mid-term financial discomfort).

• I'll have less money to save for retirement (leading to long-term financial and life discomfort).

• I'll have less money to give (leading to internal discomfort).

Yes, the new and fancy car is comfortable....very comfortable! However, the consequence of pursuing this new version of material comfort is several other forms of discomfort. That's ironic, and sad!

I don't usually chat with people while they're living in the honeymoon phase of their comfort-driven decisions. Rather, I typically spend time with them after they've experienced the shadowy, discomfort-laden side of these decisions. It's not always pretty on that side.

Pursuing comfort is rarely what we're actually seeking. Instead, pursue meaning. Violently pursue meaning. That will occasionally lead you to spend money on things that can make you comfortable, but more often than not, it will lead you in some surprising directions. Please don't allow your pursuit of material comfort lead you into these unintended consequences. Life is too short to deal with that!

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Willful Discomfort

Can we all agree that life can be uncomfortable? Regardless of how much comfort we try to pursue, discomfort will find us. Don't agree? Last time I checked, none of us make it out alive. Discomfort is coming, but the who, what, when, where, why, and how are still up in the air.

Last night, I had the blessing of spending time with a group of people ranging from long-time friends, to acquaintances, to first-time encounters. The conversation went deep. I heard several profound stories that rocked me to the core.

Something interesting dawned on me by the time the night concluded. Every one of these amazing stories had one thing in common: willful discomfort. While life will inevitably become uncomfortable at times, every person in that room willfully subjected themselves to discomfort along their journey. Not only that, but this willful act of discomfort had a direct connection with the beauty that subsequently unfolded.

This is a topic I write and talk about a lot, but it never goes out of style. Here's one example from my own life. Just over six years ago, Sarah and I made the radical decision that I would leave my 15-year career, our family would take a 90% pay cut, and we'd start over with a completely different life. All the material comforts our world had to offer were staring us in the face, and we turned the other way. Culturally, what we did was stupid. Mathematically, what we did was stupid. Comfort-wise, what we did was stupid.

However, with the benefit of six years of hindsight, that willful discomfort was easily the best decision I've ever made in my life. It might have also been one of the toughest things I've ever done, but that's a story for a different day. That single act of willful discomfort transformed our family, our lives, and the impact we've been able to make. Many decades from now, when I look back on my life and the thousands of key decisions I made, I will surely pinpoint that decision and a few other ridiculous acts of willful discomfort as the turning points of my life.

Sure, discomfort will find all of us.....eventually. However, what I'm suggesting today is that we should each willfully pursue discomfort. Find it, welcome it, and embrace it. When we're willing to stare at discomfort in the face and not allow it to deter us, everything is on the table. That's living!

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Time and Attention

We are in the midst of family adventures. I always wonder if my kids (almost nine) will be "too cool" for some of the ridiculous ideas I manufacture in my brain. Perhaps that day will come, but not yet! Again and again, our adventures are met with awe, wonder, and excitement (or in Pax's case, random public griddy dances).

It never ceases to amaze me how the simplest and least complex activities and experiences move the needle with kids. Even a random trip into a convenience store can spark smiles and memories. I find that these interesting little experiences spur me on to come up with even more little experiences.

The truth is, they compound. Every little experience builds on the last. It becomes one long story that weaves through time and space. Today will be full of new adventures and memories, and as a parent, I want to harness this opportunity to truly enjoy it. I know it won't last forever, so we might as well not take it for granted.

I often hear from clients who are frustrated and disenchanted by not having enough money to give their kids "special experiences." Don't let money be the deciding factor. Money can buy experiences, but experiences aren't conditioned upon money. Further, the amount of money we spend doesn't directly correlate with the memories that are created. Sometimes, the cheapest memories are more valuable than the most expensive ones.

Don't let money be the elephant in the room. Time is your most valuable resource. Whether you have money to invest in your experiences or not, invest your time and attention. Diligently and consistently invest your time and attention into these precious opportunities. That’s the secret sauce to opening an entire new world for our children. They could take or leave the money, but they deeply crave our time and attention. Therefore, let’s invest it well!

Have an awesome day! Please go create some cool memories.

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It’s Just the Way It’s Done

Do you ever find yourself doing things a certain way simply because that's just the way it's done? Maybe it's just the way others do it. Or maybe it's just the way you've always done it, for whatever reason. But in any event, we often get stuck in a certain autopilot groove, for better or worse. 

I think about this a lot, especially when I assess my own rhythms of life. My first time thinking about this topic was when I started spending meaningful time in Asia. As expected, their culture is so much different from ours. As I watched closely, I realized some of their cultures, customs, and rituals are awesome. And if that's true, why don't we model some of our behaviors similarly? Probably because we simply do it the way we do it. Over time, I started adopting non-traditional habits and customs into my own life.

My second profound moment was when I left the corporate world after 15 years. I started asking myself questions like, "What is a workday?" "What is a work week?" "What is a vacation?" 

After six years of obsessing about these questions, I've landed in some interesting places:

• I never start work before I've been able to hang out with my kids and drive them to school. 

• I never take a meeting before 9 AM. 

• I work at the office every Thursday night.

• If my kids ask me to do something with them during a workday, I’ll try to engineer my day around it.

• I typically do my most meaningful work on Saturday afternoons. 

• I regularly travel during the week for non-work purposes, but find ways to integrate my work into it. 

• I work in four different offices (sometimes all in the same day), depending on context and situations. 

• I regularly work at night after Sarah and the kids go to bed.

• I regularly have non-work meetings with interesting people about peculiar subjects that seem incongruent with my work.

All this to say, after a lot of intentionality, I've successfully managed to stave off nearly every trope about what a day, week, and trip should look like. I'm NOT suggesting you model your life after mine. Far from it! Actually, you doing that would be counter to my entire point here. What I'm suggesting is that each of us should look in the mirror, ask ourselves if we could rip up the script and redesign our day-to-day and week-to-week lives, what would it look like? Your answer is going to be much different than mine......and that's a good thing!

Try me on this one. Put it to the test. Even just a few small tweaks to "normal" could make a massive difference in your life!

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On Brand

On the heels of yesterday's post about bougie purchases, I ran into a friend today mere hours after he had read that post. He shared a few thoughts about the post, then asked me about a recent bougie purchase I've made. I told him that I recently purchased Twenty One Pilot concert tickets for my family right around Finn and Pax's ninth birthday; they weren't cheap!

He looked at me for a few seconds, then responded, "Seems on brand."

"On brand." He's so right. Knowing me, it didn't surprise him that I dropped a good chunk of money for Twenty One Pilot concert tickets. In his perspective, that's exactly the sort of bougie thing my family would do. In other words, our version of bougie tightly aligns with our family's values and interests.

I also heard from a handful of readers about their version of bougie, and in every single situation, it seemed "on brand." That's a great tell! When our behaviors align with our values, we can be confident that we're making decisions that add value to our lives.

Where many people go astray is when they make culture-driven decisions that don't actually align with their values. They do things because that's what other people are doing. From the cars they buy, to the clothes they wear, to the neighborhoods they live in, to the trips they take. Without even realizing it, we allow the prevailing culture to dictate how we use our precious resources.

So, when my buddy called my bougie decision "on brand," I took that as the ultimate compliment. Whatever you're up to, whatever you're spending money on, whatever you're investing time/energy into, ask yourself the question, "Is this on brand?" If the answer is "yes," do it with confidence!

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Bougie to Thee, Not to Me

One of the most interesting aspects of my coaching business is having an opportunity to see behind the curtain of hundreds of people's financial lives. What's coming in, what's going out, and how all the pieces fit together. Most intriguing, though, is getting a front-row seat to how people perceive money. With that context in mind, I have a question for you today: What is bougie?

To start, here's the formal definition of the word: "relating to or characteristic of a person who indulges in some of the luxuries and comforts of a fancy lifestyle." In other words, bougie can be used in reference to an expenditure that's a bit (or a lot!) over-the-top; something that transcends fulfilling a mere want, and into a completely different category.

Here's another fun part of my coaching. Nobody agrees on what is considered bougie, and people rarely admit that their own decisions, actions, or purchases are bougie. Translation: Bougie is something above us that other people are partaking in.

Let me share some real-life coaching examples with you, and you can decide for yourselves. Are the following expenditures bougie?

• $25,000 for a trip to Disney

• $2,500/month on groceries

• $90,000 for a family vehicle

• $1,500/month on dining out

• $2,000/month on clothing

• $1,800/month on beauty treatments/procedures

• $1,000+/month on pets

• $5,000/month on housing (in a non-high-cost-of-living city)

• $600/month on work lunches

• $2,000/kid for Christmas gifts

These are all real-life examples I've encountered just in the past 12 months. What's your gut reaction? For each of these items, my suggestion that they are a form of "bougie" was met with shock or confusion. For those who made these decisions, these were run-of-the-mill want decisions.....even borderline "needs" in their minds. What say you?

Again, this is what makes behavioral science so interesting to me. Never underestimate our ability to shape our perspective of a broad reality based on our own narrow purview (or specific desires).

I'm not necessarily criticizing people for their decisions. After all, it's their journey, and they will reap the consequences of their choices (for better or for worse). My role isn't to tell them what to do, but rather, help them understand what they are really trying to achieve, and execute it with excellence. Where my criticism lies is how we humans so often tell ourselves a story to fit our own narrative. We can take something bougie and turn it into a mere want, then take this mere want and turn it into a need. We're so good at this (me included!).

I think the most important thing we can each do is be honest with the person we see in the mirror. Name things for what they are. Recognize bougie for bougie, a want for a want, and a need for a need. Then, through that honesty, make the best decision for our journeys. When we do, we'll make crisper decisions and go all-in on things that actually add value to our lives.

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When the Beauty Arrives

In July 2024, I wrote a piece titled 'Beauty From the Pain' about a friend who was experiencing profound turmoil in her life. The post was about the reality that while painful moments are absolutely terrible while in the midst of them, beautiful things often transpire from them. I ended the piece with this: "Someday, preferably sooner than later, I hope my friend sees how much beauty came from this season of her life. She deserves it! Whatever pain you're experiencing, just know that a beautiful chapter will soon be written. Keep pressing on. You deserve it, too."

A few days ago, 55 weeks after writing that piece, that same friend sent me the most amazing update about her journey. After so much hurt, unknown, and self-doubt, she's about to enter a brand new season of life, full of optimism and opportunity. And just as predicted, the very things that caused her so much pain last year will now be used as tools to help her thrive in this next chapter. Beauty from the pain!

This is one of the things that makes life so hard. Despite feeling like our lives are flashing before our eyes, those tumultuous seasons seem to linger. It feels like we're stuck in quicksand, trapped in our own circumstance. However, if we can see it through and KNOW there is beauty on the other side of this pain, it could give us the extra boost of energy and motivation we need.

Whatever pain you're going through today, know that the end is near, and beauty is waiting on the other side. We won't know what form that beauty will come in, but it sure will be fun to find out!

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Well, Well, Well Again

In my June 28th post, I discussed how the U.S. stock market had just hit a new 155-year all-time high. More importantly, I reiterated that an all-time high isn't something to be scared of. In the post, I detailed how frequently our stock market hits new all-time highs, and why that's just a regular feature of long-term investing.

Without fail, I received nearly a dozen messages pushing back against my message. One person told me I'm "stupid." Another told me I'm "naive." A third told me I'm "uneducated." That was a fun day to open my inbox!

Lots of people (who claim to be wise investors) get on their soapboxes and tout the strategy of "buy the dip." In other words, try to time the market by investing after it crashes. That would be an amazing strategy if we had a magic 8-ball or DeLorean. The problem with timing the market is that we must be right twice: first, when to buy, and second, when to sell. Besides, that's a stressful and time-consuming endeavor. In the entire investment world, there are only a few dozen people who can be successful at this for an extended period of time, and they aren't your brother's co-worker's neighbor. It's not your financial advisor, either!

Since I wrote that post on June 28th, the U.S. stock market has achieved another 12 all-time highs: One in June, 10 in July, and one in August (yesterday!).

Once in a while, my friend Brett will respond to a post with a simple question: "Where's the meaning in this post?" While today's post isn't jam-packed with meaning, I do have one very strong, meaning-filled encouragement. Please don't spend your time, energy, stress, or anxiety worrying about your investments. Simply invest in the U.S. stock market via low-cost index funds, be patient, and stop thinking about it. You have so many more important things to think about in your life than the fate of your investments. Their fate is awesome......long-term. Instead, invest your time and energy in your family, your work, your relationships, and your ministry. The ROI of those things is far greater than money will ever provide!

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Speaking of Forever Homes

Yesterday's post caused quite a stir! The mere idea of the Hedonic Treadmill causes many to get uncomfortable. It's an unsettling notion that we're all subject to certain psychological phenomena and triggers. We'd like to believe that we're 100% in control and rational in all that we do, but scientifically speaking, we're not.

Two readers specifically commented on my forever home reference. "Forever homes are real!" exclaimed one person. Another person frustratingly reiterated to me that it's okay to buy a forever home.

First, yes, forever homes are real.

Second, yes, it's okay to buy a house.

We have a major problem, though! A forever home is only a forever home because of our current context. As soon as our context changes, so too does the framing of our forever home. One of my friends is living in their fourth "forever home." Another friend is in the process of moving into their second "forever home."

This is peak Hedonic Treadmill. The second family mentioned above currently lives in one of the top 20 houses I've ever been in. It's stunning! Some houses are well located. Some houses are big. Some houses are nice. This one is all three. It's simply immaculate! When they purchased it five years ago, it was THE definition of their "forever home." In fact, using the phrase "forever home" allowed them to justify making some questionable decisions to buy the house in the first place. After all, if they are going to die in this house and invest in it for the long run (i.e., forever), it's okay to squint while making dangerous decisions, right?

That's one of the reasons why the phrase "forever home" is used so frequently in our culture. The mere phrase shifts the narrative in our brains, giving us just the right amount of excuses to do something we probably shouldn't.

Today, though, they feel differently about it. Five years after purchasing it, this house no longer meets their needs. They need more space (five bedrooms in the main living area aren't enough for them and their three kids). They need a bigger pool. It needs a "better guest house." The theater room feels outdated. It lacks amenities for proper hosting.

With all that in mind, they are in the closing process of their next "forever home." By "forever," what they really mean is they are about to make some more questionable decisions, and due to the Hedonic Treadmill, they will soon again redefine their version of a "forever home."

I'm not trying to pick on my friends. They aren't dumb. They aren't naive. They aren't mock-worthy. They are human. They are quite human. Here's my point in sharing their story. There is no end to the Hedonic Treadmill. We can't outrun it. There's never enough. It's impossible to reach a certain level and then say, "There we go, we're good now." If we don't catch ourselves, we'll be chasing it until our dying breath.

It's okay to take the off-ramp. We can elect not to play the Hedonic Treadmill game. We can't entirely avoid the Treadmill, but we can decline to play the game.

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There’s No Escaping It

I occasionally write about a phenomenon called the Hedonic Treadmill. It's a term in the behavioral science world that refers to the inevitability that every time our life changes, good or bad, it quickly becomes "normal."

That shiny new car? Soon, it will just be a normal ol' car.

Our "forever home" we've always dreamed about? Soon, it will just be called home, only for us to replace it with a new dream in our head, uniquely called "forever home."

The newest iPhone with all the latest bells and whistles? Soon, it will be too slow, too small, and out of date.

The massive pay raise that you knew would change your life forever? Soon, it will just be what it costs to live, and "enough" will be something higher.

I was recently sharing this concept with a few buddies. One of them generally agreed with me, while the other was obstructive. "I'm not an idiot, I don't fall for #&!% like that." I tried explaining that since he's human (well, at least I think he is), there's no escaping the Hedonic Treadmill. Its impact on our lives is unavoidable.

"Prove it!" he responded.

Alright, here goes nothing. I would propose that almost everything in our modern world is an example of the Hedonic Treadmill.

Safe and drinkable water from the faucet? At one point, it was the biggest luxury in the world.

Air conditioning on a summer day? It wasn't long ago that we would simply sweat it out for a quarter of the year.

Hot showers? Humans spent thousands of years not even considering this possibility. Today, we treat cold showers as a form of mental and emotional toughening.

Internet? If you even spoke the word before the 1990s, people would look at you like you were crazy.

Phones? Have we forgotten how insane it is that we can pick up a device and immediately talk to someone on the other side of the planet? Amazing!

Planes? Speaking of the other side of the world, we can drive to an airport, jump into a metal tube, and literally be on the other side of the world by the end of the day. Unreal!

Today, in the 21st century, we take each one of these things for granted and consider them "normal." Not long ago, even mere decades in some of my examples, we would consider these things groundbreaking, reserved for just the few wealthiest people. Then, the Hedonic Treadmill strikes us and we normalize them as quickly as we adopt them.

It's so easy to take our lives for granted. We quickly adjust to whatever reality we live in, and call it "normal." However, the life we live today would be anything but normal to those who came before us. I'm not trying to make us feel guilty for our modern-day amenities. Rather, I'm suggesting that we carry ourselves with a posture of gratitude and never underestimate the power the Hedonic Treadmill has on each of us.

Contentment, humility, and perspective are beautiful traits to possess. They are the only weapons we have to combat the Hedonic Treadmill.

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1,000

"Just write daily. It will change your life."

These words from my dear friend Gary Hoag sat with me for weeks. I could feel the weight of his statement, yet at the same time, I couldn't wrap my head around it. "Just write daily. It will change your life."

It took me a few months to get over myself, but eventually, I decided to trust Gary. Thus, the Daily Meaning was born. I only had two rules for this new endeavor:

1) 500 words or less

2) Publish daily, no exceptions.

By no exceptions, I mean no exceptions. I needed to create an environment where there are no outs. No justifications. No excuses. I committed to writing, editing, and publishing every single day of my life, regardless of circumstance. Even on my worst days. Even on my best days. Even on my sick days. Even on my where-am-I days. Even on my wilderness days. Even on my I-want-to-crawl-in-a-hole-and-die days. Even on my Sarah-and-I-are-fighting days. Even on my too-busy days. Even on my don't-know-what-to-write-about days. No exceptions. I write because I write.....period.

Today is day 1,000. 1,000 days in a row of writing and sharing my ideas with the world. Gary, I gotta tell you, you were right. It changed my life. Sincerely. It enabled me to serve thousands of people all over the world, meet new friends, engage daily with curious readers, and through the art of writing, learn how to think better.

I've written in ditches, tents, Mongolian gers, airports, cars, hospitals, funeral homes, amusement parks, planes, resorts, ships, gyms, schools, factories, arenas, and more than a dozen countries. When writing is woven into our lives, the world becomes our canvas, our creativity becomes our brush, and our experiences become our paint. It's all so beautiful. Not just the tangibly beautiful things, but everything.....including the pain.

Where do we go from here? To me, the answer is simple: "Just write daily." My commitment to you, and myself, is to continue writing daily, endeavoring to add value to people's lives, and perhaps provide a few laughs along the way (even if at my expense). If my theory is correct and everything we do builds into the next, the next 1,000 days should be even better than the first. I guess we'll find out.

My sincere thanks to everyone who signed up to take this journey with me. I hope the few minutes we share together each morning are as valuable for you as they are for me. Please never hesitate to hit "reply" and share what's on your mind. It's sincerely the highlight of my day. I'm eternally grateful for each of you.

God bless, and cheers to the next 1,000 days.

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Wednesdays

I'm often accused of having an exciting life. I meet with fascinating people, am engaged with a multitude of different endeavors, and visit interesting places (both here and abroad). On the surface, I can see how people would believe I lead an exciting life. The truth is, however, my life is quite boring. I live a tremendously boring life with some exciting moments sprinkled in. If you don't believe me, you should ask Sarah!

One of the talks at the Global Leadership Summit this week was about how the best leadership is boring. Sure, there are exciting moments and opportunities, but if you were to follow even the most "exciting" leaders around in their day-to-day lives, it's probably pretty boring! The exciting 5% are the highlights, while the boring 95% is where the deep, meaningful, and impactful work gets done in what can feel like the mundane.

And boring is good! I crave boring. I cherish the boring. I love the routines, daily disciplines, and rhythmic schedules. They keep me grounded. They give me peace. They allow me to focus my most creative energies on serving people well. Sure, I love the weird and interesting things I get to do in my life, and I'll never take any of that for granted, but boring is good!

After this talk, Walker Hayes jumped onto the stage with his guitar. Please forgive me, but I had no idea who Walker Hayes is. I've never heard the name before, but from the roar of the audience, I was in the minority (as evidenced by his 1.3M followers on IG). Anyway, Walker comes onto the stage and shares his reflections on the first few talks of the day. Specifically, he shared about how, on the surface, his life as a traveling musician and songwriter is exciting. However, he admitted that his life, too, is also fairly boring.....and that's a good thing. Then, he played a song about it, titled Wednesdays. I encourage you to click the link above or click play on the embedded video below to check it out. So beautiful.

Whatever your day looks like today, whether boring or exciting, I hope it's a beautiful one!

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Lessons From My First 10 Years at the GLS

Day One of the Global Leadership Summit was a huge win. I thought the speakers were phenomenal, and a few of them seemed like they were speaking right into my soul. I always find it crazy when the perfect message hits us at the perfect time.....just when we need it most. That was my experience yesterday, for sure.

As we were waiting for the conference to begin yesterday morning, my friend Dan and I were discussing our key takeaways from the conference over the past decade. Since this is my 11th Summit, I've thought a lot about this topic. Therefore, I'm going to share the three main lessons the Summit has taught me over the years. No, these aren't lessons shared by specific speakers. Rather, they are lessons I learned about learning. This applies to the Summit, but through a broader lens, I think it applies to life as a whole.

Lesson #1: Be humble. We can't learn new things if we think we already have things figured out. I noticed this about myself during the first few years of the Summit. For whatever reason, I'd go into certain talks with an "I already know this stuff" posture. That's a sure-fire way to get nothing out of it. It's a great way to stay stagnant and remain right where we're at. Eventually, I recognized that I can learn something from anyone......period. It doesn't matter their education, experience, age, or discipline. If they have a pulse, I have something to learn from them.

Lesson #2: Less is more. In my earlier years attending the Summit, I wanted to walk away with dozens of new ideas and takeaways. I wanted to learn everything and change my life in 100 different ways. Then, I learned the hard way that trying to do 100 things is a great way to do nothing. Change is hard enough, never mind several changes at the same time. Instead, I shifted my goal to latch onto 2-3 key ideas and takeaways that could transform my life/business. That simple shift in mentality changed everything.

Lesson #3: Application. Sure, it's great to learn new things: conferences, podcasts, YouTube videos, books, online courses. There are countless ways for us to learn new ideas and skills. One thing I recognized early in my Summit days was a disconnect between how I felt immediately after the Summit vs. one month later. I learned all these new things and somehow thought that was enough. It wasn't! Ideas stuck in our brains do no good. Instead, we need to apply our learnings to our lives and business. We need to put one foot in front of the other and do the hard work. It's only then that we get to experience true impact.

That's my strategy heading into day two of the Summit. Be humble, find a few key takeaways, and apply them effectively. Regardless of where you're at today, I encourage you to do the same. Principles to live by!

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It’s All Connected

I'm excited to spend the next two days at the Global Leadership Conference, an annual event that I've been excitedly and dutifully attending for the last 11 years. I'm sure many blog posts and podcast ideas will blossom from what I experience these next few days, and I look forward to sharing that with you!

One of the things I was most excited about this week was the 5-hour drive with my friend Dan. I don't see him often, so any meaningful time I get with him is something I cherish. However, just a few days ago, he texted me and told me he would be flying to Chicago and would meet me there. What?!?!

He shared with me that he wanted to "get a long run on Lake Michigan" to celebrate a fun milestone in his business. Weird, I know....but that's Dan! Fast forward to yesterday, and I had just arrived at the hotel. Dan shot me a text that he just wrapped up his run and hopped into an Uber to meet me at the hotel. He also included a data link to the run he just completed: 23.57 miles! Immediately after exiting a plane. On a hot summer day. Dan, man!

This is one of the things I love most about Dan. I'm not an avid runner like he is, but I greatly appreciate his discipline and desire to push himself into discomfort. It's all connected, as far as I'm concerned. The fact that he can hop on a plane specifically to rip out a 24-mile lakeside run on a hot summer day tells me a lot about how he's wired and how he approaches life. The way he navigates relationships, work, business, ministry, parenting......it's all connected.

One of the fun pics Dan sent me during his 24-mile journey.

If it's true that it's all connected, then it feels like everything is a chain reaction to everything else. I feel this about my recent health journey. First was the intermittent fasting, then the intentional walking, then the shift in what I eat, then the daily biometric scale, and then lastly, the Garmin watch that monitors my vitals 24 hours per day. Each one led to the next, and most of them wouldn't have happened without the prior. It's all connected. Where this has led me is a far more intentional life. What I put in my body, how I move my body, the disciplines I practice daily, how I structure my work, and the consequences of my actions. This also spills over into my parenting and relationships.

While I'm bummed I didn't get to ride with Dan yesterday, I love that he was able to fly in earlier to run 24 hot miles. It will no doubt lead to some other great things for him, as it's all connected.

As you navigate your life today, I hope you can see how it's all connected. Everything is tied to everything else. That can be a very, very good thing, or a very, very bad thing. Make it the best of things! Have an awesome day.

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Normalize Winning

One of my favorite parts of my work is walking alongside small businesses, helping them unlock new gears they never knew existed. For example, this week I'm meeting with a business coaching client who has far surpassed every goal he ever set for his business. Whether it's revenue, client roster, gross margins, impact, or net income, he has exceeded every benchmark that he previously used to define "winning."

It's not that he originally doubted himself, but rather, he never thought to dream this big. He never actually gave himself permission to win like this. His original plan was to simply provide enough income to support his family and save for the future. It never dawned on him that he could create something this impressive. It never occurred to him that he possessed the ability to build something so cool.

But here we are! Every time we walk through his numbers, his eyes get big and his smile even bigger. He's dumbfounded by where this is going, but he's embracing it every step of the way. The biggest shift that allowed this to happen is that he normalized winning. He stopped being bashful and feeling guilty about his newfound success, and is instead focused on practicing excellence and serving people well. The rest takes care of itself.

Another consequence of shifting our perspective and dreaming bigger is the decision-making shift it requires of us. If our goals are small, we’ll make decisions that will unlock these small goals. However, when our goals are large, it requires a different set of decisions to unlock it. Will we achieve these wild goals? Maybe or maybe not. However, there’s a high likelihood that even if we fail to meet the goal, we’ll end up in a far better spot than had we set expectations lower.

While this may seem like a "duh" idea, I sincerely believe it's one of the key drivers for people who are trying to build something (whether a business, career, or ministry). Normalize winning, whatever that looks like for you. Whatever you think the ceiling is, double it.....triple it.....quadruple it. It's okay to shoot high and work toward a yet-to-be-defined target.

More than anything, though, be sure to approach it with meaning, purpose, and a desire to make an impact. When you do, it makes the journey all that much more fulfilling. If you find meaning in the day-to-day process, regardless of the outcome, you've already won.

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Planning For Imperfection

Shhhhhhh, please don't tell my wife I'm sharing this story. However, if you know her, you know what I'm about to say is 100% true! Sarah has an interesting approach to time and logistics. If she needs to be at an event that begins in 20 minutes, she will walk out of the house at such time that if everything goes PERFECTLY, she will arrive at the event exactly on time.....and not a minute earlier. Do you know how often things go perfectly? Zero. She hits a few extra stop lights, forgets something and needs to run back in the house, construction creates a traffic backup, or she ends up parking further away. Things never go perfectly, and as a result, she's inevitably late to nearly everything. While it hasn't ended our marriage (yet), it's a maddening way to approach life. Things NEVER go perfectly.

No, I'm not seeking marriage counseling today. Rather, I think Sarah's example is a perfect representation of what happens when we plan as if things will go perfectly. When that's the baseline assumption, bad outcomes are inevitable.

This brings me to a more serious version of this phenomenon. Many families operate their finances as if everything will go perfectly. They structure their standard of living, monthly costs, and lifestyle choices all the way up to their current income. As long as things stay good and steady, the train will remain on the tracks. However, you probably already know that life doesn't usually go perfectly. Things happen. People lose jobs, kids get sick, the engine in our car dies, the furnace breaks down in the middle of winter. Life happens!

My Meaning Over Money business partner, Cole, often asks me how so many people can continue to live this way without consequences. It feels like there are no negative repercussions to planning for perfection. "Soon enough," I respond. It's only a matter of time for many. Eventually, life catches up, and the imperfection creates a gaping chasm in people's lives.

Fortunately for many, we've ridden an unprecedented wave of positive since the 2008 recession. Things have been uncharacteristically good for an uncharacteristically long period of time. However, it feels like we're starting to turn a weird corner. The problem, though, is that it doesn't impact you until the moment it does. Everything is perfectly fine......until it's your worst nightmare.

This nightmare has recently struck several people I know. For years, these families have enjoyed the fruits of positivity. Life has been good, really good! The bad news: they were planning for perfection. All it took was one job loss to knock them completely off course. Instead of being able to navigate the tricky situation that life threw at them, their lives are in turmoil. Selling houses, spouses leaving dream jobs to secure other income streams, pulling kids out of activities, whipping out the credit cards.

I'm not condemning them. In fact, I have so much empathy for them. It didn't have to be this way, though. Instead of planning for perfection, we should plan for imperfection, knowing that life will hit us. Moderate the lifestyle, create more monthly margin, stay out of debt, keep a healthy cash savings. Allow for life to happen......because it will.

Most of us still have time to recalibrate for imperfection before life hits us. Let's seize this opportunity!

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