Just Notice

I met a friend for lunch yesterday at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants. I wouldn't say I'm one of their top customers, but I do make it in around once per month.

It's one of those order at the counter and they bring it to you type of places. While trying to order my meal, I struggled to find my desired entree on the menu (evidence that I'm not there too frequently). Just then, the woman behind the counter said, "I think you're looking for #14." Caught off-guard, I scanned the menu board to find item #14, only to discover it's exactly what I was looking for.

"Wait, how did you know that's what I was looking for?!?!"

"When you walked in, my dad told me you would be ordering a #14, and he already started preparing it for you."

First, am I really that predictable!?!? Wow!

Second, I was shocked they noticed me to that degree. I didn't know they even recognized me, and not only did they recognize me, they knew what I wanted even before I opened my mouth.

That single exchange tremendously moved the needle for me. Their actions didn't cost them anything, and yet, made all the difference in the world. In one simple act, they just seared in my loyalty, which will inevitably result in hundreds more dollars in revenue from me in the near future.

Just notice. It's a spectacularly simple strategy to move the needle in your endeavors. All it takes is a little intentionality, some care, and a desire to be more excellent. Whatever you're about to do today, just notice. It may seem like nothing to you, but it could be everything for someone you encounter.

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Sometimes, You Get Both

I often beat the drum of pursuing meaning over money. I'm a broken record. It's a hill I'll die on. I have a podcast called Meaning of Money, for crying out loud. This idea is woven into my core, and I want to dedicate my life to helping others see it and practice it.

Yesterday, I shared the story of a client who excitedly accepted a job because it provided his family with a huge income boost. This increase in monthly resources allowed this family to do a lot of good stuff, financially speaking. However, a deep regret set in just a few months later, realizing they had made a big mistake.

Let me be clear. This couple's mistake was not the fact they accepted a job that increased their family's income. The mistake was choosing money over meaning. When we prioritize money over meaning, we lose. Maybe not right away, but at some point.

Today, I want to clarify one important point. We don't have to choose between meaning and money; we just have to pursue meaning. Pursuing meaning does NOT mean we are opting for a life of financial struggle. In practice, the pursuit of meaning often provides both meaning AND money. Sometimes, you get both.

If we pursue money, we might just find it. I know countless people who have dedicated their lives to the pursuit of wealth. Many of them have found it. You know what else they found along the way? Loneliness, brokenness, misery, emptiness, and oftentimes, a life they merely tolerate. The resulting wealth provided by this lifestyle acts as a self-medicating relief, masking the pain with comfort.

On the flip side, if we pursue meaning, we WILL find it. Meaning comes in all shapes and sizes, and is as unique as each of us is. People who pursue meaning live with a different attitude and approach to life. There's something about them; you can see it in their eyes. In addition to finding meaning, these people also often find money. Why? When someone is pursuing a life full of purpose, meaning, and impact, pouring their blood, sweat, and tears into something, they can't help but have some level of financial success. This is the irony of pursuing meaning.

Sometimes, you get both. Life is a crazy adventure, opportunities abound. When we steadfastly endeavor to live a life rich in meaning, there's no telling what opportunities are around the next corner. Sometimes, you get both.

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Instant Regret

"I think I made a huge mistake." Not the text I expect at 1AM on a random weeknight. It was from a client.

A few months prior to that random late-night text, my client had a big decision to make. The husband had just received an offer for a job that would pay $21,000 MORE than his current job, a jump that would take him from $82,000/year to $103,000/year. That's real money! This seemed like a no-brainer decision to both him and his wife. After all, this new opportunity would equate to approximately $1,300 more in their monthly take-home budget. This was big time for them!

I had my doubts, and I'll share why. His current job, the lower-paying one, filled his tank. He found tremendous meaning in this job, and he had deep connections with his co-workers. In short, he loved what he was doing. This new job, though, meant more money for his family. This new opportunity also fell into his field of expertise, but he was 50/50 on whether this specific role was the best use of his gifts and passions. But the money!!!

They thanked me for my insights and decided to sleep on it for a few nights. Ultimately, the new opportunity (and the financial rewards that came with it) were too attractive to turn down. They excitedly accepted the job, and a new chapter began.

"I think I made a huge mistake." I immediately texted back, inquiring what had happened......though deep down, I already knew. Though the bigger paychecks were awesome, he was miserable in this new role. His community was gone, the role wasn't as fulfilling, and his new boss was a jerk. This was the worst-case scenario for him. What did his wife think of the whole thing? While she was glad to have more money coming in, she wasn't a huge fan of him coming home grumpy at night, watching him struggle, and him always being tired. To put it bluntly, this wasn't the man she knew.

When I asked about how the new financial situation has impacted their life, the wife responded, "It feels like blood money. I'd give it all up if we could just go back to the way things were."

Things rarely go well when we make decisions based on dollars and cents. Yes, money has to play a role. But when we put money over meaning, we usually lose. Fortunately, this couple quickly learned this lesson and are seeking ways to navigate a different journey. I pray they do, and I'll do anything I can to help them. But their story is a cautionary tale for us all. More money is always appealing, but not at the expense of a fulfilling and meaningful life.

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Must Be Nice

"Must be nice." Ah, gotta love that phrase. "Must be nice" is a politer way to say "You got lucky" or "I'm jealous." It's also a phrase that signals the beginning of the end. The mere utterance of these words signals that your inputs are detached from your outputs. Using this phrase means outcomes are not correlated with executon. Mentioning this phrase means you've lost before you've even had a chance to play the game.

These words were said to me on Saturday afternoon on the heels of the Downtown Des Moines Farmers' Market. My friend saw our huge line as he passed through the market and had some "feedback" for me afterward. He gave me permission to write about it, so that took away some of the sting. In short, though, he attributed our long lines to good fortune. Right place, right time.

He's not alone in this sentiment, and this doesn't just apply to Northern Vessel. If you've built something that matters (whether it be a business or career), there are countless people in your life who are sopping with jealousy. Or, in the words of one of my business owner clients, "Travis, you're the only person in our lives we can even talk to about this stuff. You're the only one who will genuinely celebrate with us." He, too, gets lots of "It must be nice" comments. Jealousy is everywhere.

The truth is, it does feel nice. It feels wonderful to create something that matters. However, ahead of that niceness is a ton of blood, sweat, tears, pain, suffering, failure, and growth.

In this conversation, my friend asked what I attributed our success to. I think there are a lot of reasons for it, and they all revolve around inputs, not outputs. While most people believe in obsessing about the outputs, we believe in obsessing over the inputs and merely measuring the outputs.

Here are some of our inputs:

• We're obsessed with finding the right people. It's extremely difficult to get hired at NV. TJ's standards and expectations are brutally high.

• Financially, we believe in paying our team ridiculously well. TJ hasn't given me permission to share specifics (yet!), but we created a compensation structure for the farmer's market that boggles the mind. Interests are aligned, and our team is incentivized to crush it.

• In turn, the work is a grind! It's like going to battle. Our team goes into market days knowing they will be wreckedby the time we're done. My hope is they look back on that experience and say, wow, that was awesome!

• Unreasonable hospitality. It's not good enough to quickly serve a coffee. Anyone can serve a coffee. But can you make people feel a certain way while doing it? The experience is everything.

• Constant obsession with getting better and more efficient. "Good enough" isn't good enough. Every team member has the green light to propose ideas for "better."

I pray you get rid of the phrase "It must be nice" from your life, and keep all the "It must be nice" people at arm's length. Whatever you're into, obsess about the inputs and measure the outputs. Keep going! "Nice" is coming.

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5.2

Yesterday marked a hallmark day in my year: The first day of farmer's market season! This is the third year Northern Vessel has set up shop at the Des Moines Farmers' Market (regularly voted one of the top five markets in the country). 

Our operation is simple, but difficult. The simple part is that we only sell one product: our signature oat milk cold brew latte. The difficult part is scaling it to levels that challenge common sense and any form of reasonableness.

The market is open from 7am-12pm on Saturday mornings, May through October. Five hours, once per week, for six months. 26 bites at the apple. You get one shot to make the most of that precious time. Heading into our first year, we had no idea what we were doing. We essentially winged it, figured out what didn't work, tweaked, tested, and repeated. Eventually, we plateaued at a point where we could sell 2.8 drinks per minute. It was a massive success! We were proud of our achievements and thoroughly enjoyed the process.

Heading into our second year, we knew our peak was around 2.8 drinks per minute, but we aspired to do it better. A better experience, more fun, more hospitality, a better overall vibe. We wanted that three-minute experience to be the highlight of someone's day. 

By the third week of our second season, we realized our minds were far too small. After testing (and failing) new ideas, our constant tweaking yielded results we never even imagined. In the heart of that season, we capped out at 5.2 drinks per minute.....it was bonkers.

In this last offseason, heading into the third year, we looked at it differently. No matter how close we think we are to our peak, we realize we still haven't even scratched the surface of what's possible. This mere notion led our team down a rabbit hole of obsession. For the past few months, we've tested new ideas and debated countless tweaks. What if this person stands here? What if those cups are positioned there? What if we used this other piece of equipment to fill cups instead of the normal one? What if a different person fills that role?

As this season approached, that 5.2 drinks per minute number lingered in our minds. This time, though, we didn't look at it as a ceiling, but rather a floor. In our minds (or perhaps imaginations), we believed we could blow by a previous record that never seemed possible to begin with. Our new goal: 7.0 drinks per minute for five hours. Yesterday was our first test. In yesterday’s market season opener, with unseasonally low temps, we landed at 5.2 drinks per minute.....tying our previous peak-season record. Now, we tweak.

I love this team!

I have much more to say about this, but I'm quickly running out of real estate. I'll pick that up soon. In the meantime, here's my takeaway. Whatever you think is possible....is. Whatever you think isn't possible.....isn't. And whenever you think you've reached your peak, you haven't even scratched the surface. Keep tweaking!

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It’s Pretty Great to Be Young

I was recently blessed to speak at a high school business class. It's a talk I've given about once per semester for the past two years. The topic of the lesson was investing, similar to how I teach it to my clients.

During my talk, I tried to frame investing risk through the lens of the long-term U.S. stock market history. I've written about this topic several times, but today, I'm going to share an idea that could (er, should) re-shape our perspective of risk...and the power of compounding for young people.

We have solid stock market data going back to 1870, just five years after the Civil War ended. That's 154 years of history! Through year-end 2024, those 154 years produced an annual return of nearly 9.2%. Yes, it's a mess. Yes, it's volatile. Yes, it's crashed.....many times. But through all that, 9.2% annual returns for 154 years (and 10.4% for the last 100 years!). For the sake of simplicity, let's just call it 9%.

My audience this week was a collection of high school kids in the 16-18 year-old range. For the sake of this little thought experiment, let's say they averaged 17 years old. If a 17-year-old simply invested $1,000 into the U.S. stock market today and planned to patiently keep it invested until age 65, what would that look like? At a 9% annual return, that single $1,000 contribution would eventually reach approximately $62,000! Think about that! If you're 17 years old and make a decision to invest one time, that decision would yield a 62x outcome by age 65.

"Yeah, Travis, but what if something bad happens!?!?"

Something bad WILL happen. In fact, during a 48-year stretch between 17 and 65, many bad things will happen. We will experience many recessions, stock market crashes, and other unknown calamities.

"Yeah, Travis, but what's the worst that could happen?"

I'm glad this imaginary voice in my head asked that question! Here's a fun fact. During our 154 years of history dating back to the Civil War, the WORST 48-year stretch in U.S. stock market history provided an annual return of 5.64%. That was the 48 years ending in 1920, a period in which cars hadn’t even yet been invented. Had someone invested $1,000 at age 17 and experienced the WORST 48 years in history, their initial investment would be worth approximately $14,000 at age 65. To put it another way, historically speaking, the WORST you could do by investing $1,000 into the U.S. stock market at age 17 and letting it sit until age 65 is yielding a 14x outcome.

How risky does that feel? The worst historical outcome for a 48-year investment term is making 14x your money. "Risky" isn't a word I'd use to describe that. For me, there are three big takeaways today:

1. Time is our friend

2. History is on our side

3. It's pretty great to be young

Please forward this to a young adult in your life. They need to hear it.

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Sign Here

I met a blog reader yesterday. We spent about an hour together, and I thoroughly enjoyed our time together. We dabbled in conversations around careers, meaning, materialism, parenting, debt, marriage, and budgeting. Overall, it was such a treat to meet him, and I hope it's the first of many encounters.

He said one thing that was particularly fascinating to me, and on the spot, I told him that it needed to be today's blog. I'm going to paraphrase him, as I don't remember his exact quote. In short, he said that between the ages of 20 and 30, we tend to make financial decisions based on what other people tell us to do. Parents, mentors, co-workers, friends, family. After all, we're young and this is our first time dealing with real-life money stuff. Thus, we trust.

He also added that we spent much of that decade "signing away":

• Sign here, and these loans will pay for your college.

• Sign here, and you can use this shiny plastic card to buy whatever you want.

• Sign here, and you can buy this car (but only after you sign here on this other document for the loan).

• Sign here, and you will own this house (along with all the not-yet-known responsibilities that come with it).

• Sign here, and you can take all these furniture and appliances home without paying interest for 36 months.

• Sign here, and you can marry this person (this one is actually pretty awesome).

• Sign here, and you'll be the parent of record on this child's birth certificate (this one is pretty amazing, too!).

We sign, sign, and sign.....for a decade. Then, we wake up sometime in our 30s and realize our life looks a lot different. The wisdom (or lack thereof) in each of those signatures has set the foundation for what our life now looks like. For many of us, it's scary, daunting, and suffocating. We realize some of those signatures, in hindsight, caused tremendous damage to our lives.

As my new friend was sharing this idea with me, I couldn't help but think back to all my "sign here" moments during my 20s. Each of those moments, without knowing it, caused ripple effects that I still feel 15-20 years later.

Perhaps we need to slow down....especially in those young adult years. Perhaps we need to more carefully consider our "sign here" moments, thinking through the ripple effects it might have on our future. Perhaps we need to surround ourselves with a wiser circle of influence, one that won't lead us down these dangerous roads.

If you're well past your 20s, as I am, perhaps you need to find some young adults in your life and invest in them. These young men and women desperately need strong influences to help guide them to places they won't regret 20 years later. It's our job, collectively, to help this generation avoid so many of the crippling mistakes we made. We might not be able to go back in time to help our younger selves, but in a poetic way, perhaps serving this next generation well is our DeLorean.

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Driving Your (or Their) Future

We're sticking on the topic of cars again today, courtesy of an e-mail I received from blog reader Randy. Specifically, Randy pointed out how these modern-day mortgage-sized vehicle payments aren't just a curse to our month-to-month finances, but their impacts compound over time. He's so, so right about that, and his observation reminds me of a story from a few months ago.

I'll set the stage. I was meeting with a 30-year-old couple. They make a good income and live a normal life, but they have an issue. There's not enough margin in their monthly budget to save for retirement. In short, they are fearful that they won't have enough money to retire one day.

Upon reviewing their budget, I confirmed they don't, in fact, have much margin in their month-to-month cashflow. I also confirmed they have zero saved for retirement. Oh yeah, and one other fact: The husband's monthly vehicle payment was approximately $1,200. Curious, I asked them about this glaring number in their budget. The husband told me they've had a vehicle payment in this range since getting married five years ago.....but they can "easily afford it." By the way, this doesn't include the wife's car payment.

I'll summarize:

• A $1,200 vehicle payment is normal to them, as evidenced by having one for at least five years (spanning three different vehicles).

• Their $1,200 vehicle payment is "easily affordable."

• They live month-to-month.

• To date, they haven't had enough margin to save for retirement.

This situation isn't isolated to this couple. Without even realizing it, millions of Americans are putting themselves in a similar situation. To create urgency, I shared a visual with them. What if they stopped the vehicle payment cycle by selling this vehicle, purchasing an affordable vehicle with cash, and began investing that $1,200/month payment?

Here's the math. If this couple invests $1,200/month from age 30 to age 65 and does absolutely nothing else investing-wise, they would end up with approximately $3.5M by age 65. How much work would this require? 10 minutes to set up an investment account and automate it. Then, nothing. Zero work. Zero effort. Zero brain damage. They could lose their login credentials and come back 35 years later to find $3.5M chillin' in their account. Yes, it's that simple. Compounding.

What if instead of investing, we were talking about the compounding impact of generosity? My kids recently participated in a day of service to prepare packages for Meals From the Heartland. This ministry packages and distributes meals all over the world, feeding millions of hungry people. Each serving costs approximately $0.29. $1,200 invested in this initiative would fund 4,100 meals in a single month. Looking at the bigger picture, that's 49,200 meals per year! From age 30 to 65, that's 1.7 MILLION meals. Nearly 2 million meals!!! How many lives is that?!?! You could literally change the world! Compounding.

But yeah, that truck is pretty sweet! It's got heated seats, fancy cameras, a massive engine, and turns all the heads while sitting at the stoplight. People will surely know you're successful now!

Decisions compound. Choose wisely.

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Anatomy of a Midlife Crisis

After writing about my 2006 350Z here, here, and here, one of our daily readers recently requested an update. In short, how am I enjoying my midlife crisis after one year?

The term midlife crisis is officially defined as "A period of intense self-doubt and questioning that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically between 40 and 60 years old. It's often characterized by feelings of dissatisfaction with one's life, a desire for change, and a sense of nostalgia or a longing to recapture youth."

First, I think the term midlife crisis is silly. I used to believe the hype, but I've come to understand something. "Midlife crises," if done well and for the right reasons, are anything but crises. In fact, they are the opposite. As I've watched them play out in other people's lives, and in my own, there's no "crisis" in play. Rather, it's a form of ultra-delayed gratification by responsibly purchasing something many years down the road instead of impulsively and destructively making a similar decision at a younger age. In my case, 17 years after I initially wanted to (and almost did) purchase it. This delayed gratification turned the same decision from a potentially destructive force in my life to a mere footnote.

With that context in mind, I want to share a reflection on the first year of owning my "midlife crisis." First, yes, it's been amazing. My family and I have created so many memories with it, and it adds a lot of value to my day-to-day. Here's what the first year cost for all that richness:

• Purchase Price: $9,000

• Tax and Tags: $605

• Repairs: $789

• Tows: $220 (which led to the above repairs!)

• Insurance: $816 ($68/month)

• Winter Storage: $500

So, after my initial purchase, I spent a total of $2,930 during the first year. In other words, it feels like the steal of the century. I've had a lot of people question and criticize the purchase, but in my mind, it was the biggest no-brainer imaginable. Luckily, I don't care too much what other people think. Otherwise, I'd spend my time, and a whole lot more money, doing far more ridiculous things that I don't even care about.

Here's my message today. Do what adds value to your life. Forget what other people think, expect, or say. If something will add tons of value to your life, amazing. Also, don't forget that you don't have to break the bank or damage your finances to do cool things. Get creative, have fun, and carve your own path.

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She Did It

11 years ago, during a run-of-the-mill youth group discussion, a young lady told me her dream was to be a stay-at-home mom one day. Her face lit up when she made this declaration; so confident, so excited. She was a gifted athlete who would eventually go on to play at the D-1 level in college, and then transition into a very successful young career in the professional world. All the while, though, her stay-at-home mom dream persisted.

Last week, I received a text message out of the blue: "Today was my last day of work!!! Tomorrow, I'll be officially working my dream job of full-time stay at home mom. YAY!"

So beautiful! I haven't had a chance to chat with her verbally yet, but I can't wait for that conversation. I'm so happy for her. I'm so excited for her. I'm so proud of her.

None of this was by accident, though. She didn't luck into it. Good fortune didn't strike her. She and her husband worked for it. They planned for it. They sacrificed for it. This has been the plan for so long, and now, they get to reap the rewards for all the discipline and dedication that led them to this moment. I'm so happy for this couple, these new parents, and this dream career my friend is about to pursue.

Our culture says it's not possible. Our culture says we're all victims of bad timing and tough economic conditions. Our culture says a single-income life is unattainable....especially for young people. Yet, dedicated, disciplined, and sacrificial couples are doing it all the time. It IS possible.....if we're willing to pay the price to make it happen.

I'm grateful my young friends are willing to pay this price, and they will undoubtedly thank their younger selves for bringing this dream to life.

Whatever your version of this is (whether being a stay-at-home parent or some other dream), do it. Don't let other people or our prevailing culture rob you of your hope, aspirations, and dreams. Fight for it. Stay persistent. Pay the price. Make it happen.

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Lessons From the GaGa Pit

I was recently talking to the kids about their second-grade recess activities. GaGa Ball is a fan favorite, a real grade school tried-and-true. Curious, I asked them if anyone in the class was particularly good. Both kids immediately blurted out, "Ezra!" Ezra, they tell me, dominates GaGa Ball.

I haven't spent meaningful time watching their class play GaGa, but this answer surprised me. I know the kids well enough to know who the athletes are (I’ve coached many of them), and Ezra doesn't live in the athlete cohort in my mind. What I know about Ezra is that he's a brilliant little guy. He's one of the most insightful and intelligent second-graders I know.....but I've never seen him play a sport before.

Now, I was extremely curious! "So, Ezra is the best?" "Yeah, Dad, he wins all the time!"

"What makes Ezra so good at GaGa Ball?"

"He does a really good job dodging the ball, and he lets everyone hit the ball out of bounds and get themselves out."

Ah, I love it. Ezra's secret weapon is to be smart, patient, and not try to do too much. It's not a glamorous approach, but in the opinion of my two kids, it makes him the best GaGa Ball player on the lot.

I think we could all learn something from Ezra. Be smart, be patient, and not try to do too much. If us adults would follow this strategy, it would save so many of us from the heartaches we cause ourselves.

Everyone seems to be out here swinging for the fences, trying to look good, seeking instant gratification, and chasing it. Meanwhile, the Ezras of the world are playing the long game, disregarding some perceived status others are trying to earn. He's not in the business of looking good or letting his emotions win over.....he's in the business of winning.

What if we handled our investments like Ezra? Smart, patient, not trying to do too much. Most people would have dramatically better returns if they would just stay the course and not try to time or outsmart the market.

What if we handled our spending like Ezra? Smart, patient, not trying to do too much. Most people would have far less debt, be much more measured, and spend primarily on things that align with their values.

What if we handled our careers like Ezra? Smart, patient, not trying to do too much. Most people would have far more contentment and would more confidently work their way up their respective ladders. They wouldn't feel the need to jump ship to the next shiny object, and would be far more willing to consistently put in the work to succeed.

I love this Ezra story. I told my kids that Ezra's strategy is something to learn from. We don't always have to be a hero. We don't always have to make the dramatic play. Sometimes, we need to be smart, patient, and not try to do too much. Well played, Ezra, well played!

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More Trapped Than Ever

I recently had the opportunity to meet up with an old friend. This friendship goes way back to our business school days. I remember our last semester of college when we each received offer letters from two different companies for the same dollar amount: $42,000 per year. I remember how we went out for a drink to celebrate. $42,000?!?! We thought we struck gold. Fast forward a few months, we were both working our respective jobs, and it did, in fact, feel like we struck gold. That felt like so much money to us formerly broke college kids.

20 years have passed since that moment. Today, we're a lot less single, our families have grown, and our black hair is a bit more gray. You know what else has changed? His income. In a recent conversation, he shared that his household income now exceeds $500,000 per year. A half million dollars! That's a far cry from the $42,000 he started making.

Here's where the story gets, er, "good." Knowing what I do for a living, he had a direct question for me (and graciously asked if I would write about it). While he's grateful for his current income, he and his wife struggle to make ends meet with this income. You heard that correctly. $500,000 per year doesn't seem like enough income to care for his family.

Let me re-frame this conversation. He once felt rich making $42,000 per year. Now, making $500,000 per year, he feels broke. Yes, inflation plays a role, but not as much as you'd think. Looking at historical inflation calculator, $42,000 in 2005 is worth approximately $69,000 today. $69,000 is still a mile away from $500,000. Well, it must be the fact he's married with kids. Sure, that plays a role, but an extra adult and a few small humans don't fill a $431,000 per year hole. What else could it be......?

I pointed out a few observations about his current life, such as:

• The mini-mansion he lives in.

• The three high-end cars in his garage (financed, of course).

• The country club he belongs to.

• The infinite spending on dining and entertainment.

• Countless extravagant trips (which get plastered onto social media)

• The massive pool in his backyard.

• The lake house.

• The two boats at said lake house.

His response: "Yeah, we're living our dream life! We have everything we've always wanted."

And yet, he's more trapped than ever. This is the American dream, turned nightmare. This is the path so many people are on. It feels good. It provides adrenaline. Dopamine flows like a river. It seems like a trophy collection of success. But at the end of the day, we're building our own cage, bar by bar.

You might think, "This guy sounds like a real idiot!" The truth is, he's absolutely brilliant. He's a respected leader, a pioneer of sorts. He's accomplished things many may never dream of. Unfortunately, though, he's cursed by being a human. We humans are flawed beings, and materialism is one of those many flaws. He found the world's way early in life, latched on, and never let go.

His mission, if he chooses to accept it, is to get out of the cage he's trapped in. Do you need a similar mission?

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Forced Reset

It’s the middle of the night. I’m still awake, writing this post on my phone, in a different state, sandwiched between two little sleeping boys in a much-too-small bed in a hotel room that I unexpectedly booked 10 minutes before checking in, just moments ago. If that doesn’t summarize my life, I’m not sure what does.

I’ve had a week. Some of the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows. I’ve served people, and I’ve been served. I’ve been on the giving end of generosity, and the receiving end. I’ve made some people really, really happy…..and others whatever the opposite of happy is.

My tank is simultaneously full and empty. I have a million ideas to write about, but also none. The mind feels crowded, but also empty.

I have so many stories to share, ideas to present, and encouragement to foster. Yet, I don’t have the mental or emotional capacity to adequately share them with the vigor and thoughtfulness they deserve.

So, today, I think the idea on the table is about getting a reset. Despite my best efforts to prove otherwise, we can’t go 100mph for weeks on end and expect a healthy outcome.

I’m hoping to find a reset somewhere in my weekend…..hopefully today. I hope you do, too. I also hope you’re better at this than me. If not, I’m so sorry. Let’s try to improve on this together.

A forced reset is still a reset, so reset I will. Have a wonderful day, and I can’t wait to share more with you tomorrow…..when I’m not delirious.

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The Flourless Cake

Have you ever baked a cake? I've baked a few in my life, and fortunately, it was under the watchful eye of my mom. As a kid, I remember using her cookbook to determine the exact ingredients in the exact ratios. My favorite ingredient was the sugar, of course. After all, that's what made the cake actually taste good. If I had my way, I probably would have elected to replace the gross-tasting flour with even more sugar. If sugar is what makes it taste good, then why not let the sugar dominate!?!? Can you imagine how bad that all-sugar, no-flour cake would have tasted? It would have been a disaster.

During a recent conversation with a client, I asked both spouses what they wanted. They both shared a similar answer. In short, their objective in life was to retire as early as possible (late 40s or early 50s) and spend more time with family.

Curious about where this was going, I asked, "And what else?"

The husband looked confused, so he cleared the air: "Nothing else. We're just going to spend time with friends and family."

Wanting to be sure I understood, I asked one more follow-up: "But nothing else?"

"Nope, we're going to relax and just spend our time with friends and family. Travel, too.....probably with family"

Perhaps this is an unpopular opinion that will be met with a violent backlash, but this seems like a flourless cake. Relaxing and spending time with loved ones is the sugar. It tastes good! It's fun. It's enjoyable. It gives life flavor. But if all we're adding to the batter is sugar, like my childhood baking example above, that's going to be one disaster of a cake.

Work. Purpose. Impact. Service. These are the flour. They don't always taste as good as the sugar, but they are what make a cake a cake. They balance out the ingredients to create something beautiful.....something delicious.

Just as we shouldn't have a flourless cake, we also shouldn't have a sugarless cake. While it might come out of the oven actually looking like a cake, it probably tastes dull and bland. Nobody wants that cake, either! We gotta have the sugar, too!

Our obsession with and idolization of retirement is turning us into a bunch of flourless cakes. We glorify a life of leisure so much in our culture that we forget to add all the ingredients to the bowl in healthy ratios.

My goal isn't to turn an entire generation into a bunch of work-obsessed robots. Rather, I deeply desire for people to see the good in their work. Further, if people understood how much value work adds to their lives, they would quit racing to the finish line (i.e., retirement) and instead pursue work that actually matters to them. Lots of sugar for taste, a healthy amount of flour to give it body, in a ratio that makes it light and fluffy. That sounds like an absolutely delicious cake!

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Back Against the Wall

There's an interesting theme I've noticed over the years. I think about this often, and it was brought up to me by a friend yesterday. When successful business owners or entrepreneurs are interviewed about their origin stories, they don't usually say, "Yeah, life was pretty good, and I was really content where I was, but I threw it all in the trash so I could start over and significantly increase the stress and risk in my life."

Rather, it's usually something more along the lines of, "I lost my job, my girlfriend broke up with me, and I was living in a dump, so I figured, 'why not give it a shot?'" I might have exaggerated that a bit, but there's usually an inflection point of pain that precipitated the career move.

Why is that? Why is it that people who built something amazing didn't start until life punched them in the face? That's a rhetorical question, as I have my own theory: OK is the worst place to be. When we're OK, we're just good enough not to want to rock the boat of life. OK means we're probably not overly miserable, overly impoverished, or overly hungry for better.

I'd argue that OK robs us of a thirst for meaning. OK allows us to say, "It could be worse," and then take steps to prevent "worse" from happening. Sure, I might not be happy, but at least I'm not miserable! Thus, we hold on to "not miserable" like our life depends on it.

On the flip side, I'm watching person after person who experienced profound pain, loss, suffering, and uncertainty pursue a much different path. A scary path. An unknown path. A non-linear path. It's the hardest thing they've ever done, yet at the same time, they report it's the most meaningful they've ever lived.

It's also funny how this group of people wouldn't wish away their painful inflection points, as that would mean wiping their eventual decision to pivot in life. Looking back, the worst thing they ever experienced led to the best.

And all it took was for their backs to be put against the wall. I don't feel bad for people who were put in absolutely terrible gut-wrenching back-against-the-wall positions. I feel bad for the people who have experienced a lot of OK without the pain. Perhaps it's time some of us put our own backs against the wall and use it as an opportunity to live the life we're meant to live. I’m not saying everyone should turn their lives upside down and abandon their jobs, but for those of you silently suffering in the discontent of OK (you know who you are), I’m talking to you!

Whether you're OK, living in deep meaning, or have your back against the wall as we speak, keep fighting for it! It's worth it. I hope you have an amazing day!

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More Hunting, More Fishing

I'm not a big hunter or fisherman. It's never really been my thing, but living in the Midwest, it is for many of my friends. This is where today's story begins.

When I met with a newish client, heaviness was hanging in the air. You could cut the tension with a knife. Eventually, though, I couldn't let it linger any longer. Then, it came out. The husband was frustrated that they didn't have the resources for him to be more active with his passions: hunting and fishing. And by resources, I mean money and time.

I tried to play it cool, but I knew exactly where that conversation needed to go. In short, it wasn't that this couple lacked resources. Instead, they were allocating their resources to things that didn't matter to them. In a matter of minutes, I pointed to more than $2,200/month of expenditures that didn't seem consistent with who I knew them to be. Just one of those expenses was a $1,600/month truck payment. $1,600!!!

He didn't actually seem to care much about his truck, yet he was willfully paying what's practically a mortgage payment for the privilege of having it. He was initially defensive when I pointed out his behavioral misalignment. His words said he cared about a certain set of values, but his budget said he cared about a different set of values. Eventually, though, he saw it!

Very few of these expenses actually mattered to them, but these costs were absorbing a good chunk of their financial margin (making it feel impossible for him to invest in hunting and fishing). Not only that, but the husband would regularly work overtime to make enough income to pay all the bills.....thereby reducing the amount of time even available to invest in hunting and fishing.

With the wave of their magic wand (i.e., humility), they quickly unwound several of their financial commitments, including selling the truck with the ridiculous payment. Almost overnight, they were able to invest their time and money into things that actually mattered to them.....including the husband's love of hunting and fishing.

Always, always, always spend YOUR values. Please don't care what anyone else is doing. Find out what matters most to you, lean hard into that, and ignore all the other noise. Life is so much more fulfilling when we focus our resources where they matter most.

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Getting It Right, Not Being Right

TJ and I have had many intense Northern Vessel conversations over the past three weeks. We've faced (and continue to face) many challenges. All in all, though, these are good things. In just 2.5 years, we've already outpaced our year-seven projection. This is an amazing blessing, but that sort of blessing comes with many trials. TJ and I have an interesting relationship. I've been somewhat of a mentor figure to him over the years, which turned into a big brother / little brother type situation, turned best friends, as well as business partners. On top of that, in my new role as head of operations, I report to him as my boss. It can be tricky!

On this surface, this might seem like a recipe for disaster. That's a lot of landmines to maneuver. However, our dynamic works very well together. It's not due to luck. Rather, a few important dynamics make all the difference in the world. First, we both care deeply about the mission. Ultimately, even when we disagree, we're on the same team and have the organization's best interest in mind. The second, though, is the most important. It's a line in the sand he and I drew more than two years ago, and it's at the center of everything we do. In fact, TJ brought it up yesterday during a particularly intense conversation. 

Neither of us is in the business of being right…… we're in the business of getting it right. The best idea wins, period. This steadfast boundary changes everything. It's not about ego, one-upping the other, or winning a debate. The only thing that matters is getting to the best possible outcome, regardless of our path to get there. Sometimes, he's right. Sometimes, I'm right. Sometimes, neither of us is right. However, we usually get to the right place, and through our trust in one another to be in the business of getting it right, we end up in a far better place for it. 

In my opinion, this is the only mode to operate life. It can sometimes be humbling, even embarrassing, but everyone wins when the best outcome is reached. I see this in my coaching all the time! If one spouse is in the business of being right, the couple won't ultimately reach its potential. This dynamic is usually caused by arrogance, pride, or stubbornness. It's destructive to both the finances and the marriage. On the flip side, if both spouses are in the business of simply getting it right (regardless of who is more right), they will absolutely crush it. I've seen this play out over and over and over, spanning more than a decade with some couples. 

As you navigate your day, be in the business of getting it right, not being right. I promise it will change your life....and your relationships!

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Paying for Outcomes, Not Inputs

I saw the most wonderful TikTok video yesterday! The text on the screen said, "I paid this guy $500 to remove a tree, and it took him less than a minute....I think I overpaid." Behind the text was a video of an enormous crane tearing this massive stump, massive root system and all, out of the soil like it was a small weed. It was thoroughly impressive! The entire point of this video was to show how ripped off this person was because they paid $500 for a job that took just a few minutes.

This is where people get so twisted up. The prevailing thought process in our culture is that when we purchase something, whether a service or a product, we're paying for the cost of the physical inputs and/or the time that went into it. In reality, though, we're paying for an outcome.

In the video mentioned above, they weren't paying for the person's time, and they weren't paying for the cost of the equipment. They were paying for the desired outcome of no longer having that ugly tree stump in their yard. That's it. It doesn't matter how much the business's time or equipment costs. Is having a stump-free yard worth $500 to them? Yes or no? That's the only equation that matters.

I occasionally get the same thing in my coaching. All of my coaching is quoted on a flat-rate basis. The client shall get x number of meetings over y number of months, plus access to me between meetings, for $z. Once in a blue moon, a prospective client will ask me for a formal breakdown of my time (prep, meeting, follow-up hours, etc.). Why? They want to determine what my hourly rate is to determine if my price is fair. Problem: I'm not selling my time. I'm selling an outcome: impact….hopefully life-changing impact. Either a prospective client believes the impact I can make in their life is worth more than the fee I charge, or they don't. If they don't, they absolutely shouldn't hire me.

Coffee is another example. I recently had a friend tell me our Northern Vessel signature oat milk cold brew lattes are a ripoff at $6.50. "What are you putting in them, gold!?!?" Well, close, but no. Housemade cold brew concentrate, oat milk, and simple syrup. "And that costs you $6.50?!?!" People aren't actually paying for coffee, milk, and sugar. They are paying for an outcome. In this case, the desired outcome is an experience. It's the community, camaraderie, atmosphere, hospitality, memories, and, yes, a hopefully delicious drink experience. If this outcome is worth more than $6.50 to someone, they should consider buying one, but if not, they shouldn't!

Whether you're wearing your consumer hat or business hat, always remember this principle. We aren't paying for physical inputs or time.....we're paying for outcomes. Know what you're really selling, and sell it with confidence. Know what you're really buying, and buy it with confidence. What outcome are you trying to obtain? Does xyz product or service provide said outcome and cost less than the value this desired outcome adds to your life? If so, amazing!

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Gratitude, Always Gratitude

If you are a Christian reading this on Easter Sunday, I hope this is a wonderful day of celebration for you and your family. As I think about what this day means to me, it's quite clear: Gratitude, always gratitude. Gratitude for the most amazing gift that we could ever have been given. Gratitude for the life I'm blessed to live. Gratitude for the forgiveness I've received.

Gratitude is the only mode of operation we should have in life. Sure, we could easily point to all the junk, sorrow, and pain we've experienced in this life. We can call foul on all the terrible things that have happened to us. All of that would be fair, and well deserved. It's so easy to blame others, be a victim, and wallow in our own suffering. Oh, believe me, I've been there!

But gratitude is the only way. We can dwell on all the things we don't have......or we can be grateful for what we do have. You will NEVER have everything you want. You will NEVER feel like it's enough. You will NEVER end up where you want. However, everything you do have is something to be grateful for. Everything in front of us is a gift.

If gratitude is at the center of our lives, there's nothing that can knock us out of the game. Bad fortune, profound loss, and unjust circumstances are surely headed our way at some point in the future, but if we center our lives around gratitude, it will never be enough to take us down.

However you're celebrating Easter today, choose gratitude. Always gratitude. Happy Easter!

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Fear Is Not Our Friend

If there's one thing that's true, it's that fear is not our friend. Nothing good happens when we make decisions rooted in fear. This applies to every single aspect of our lives.

When we make investing decisions rooted in fear, we lose.

When we make business decisions rooted in fear, we lose.

When we make purchase decisions rooted in fear, we lose.

When we make career decisions rooted in fear, we lose.

When we make relationship decisions rooted in fear, we lose.

This was the theme of my work this week. We're living in weird times right now. Everyone is a bit stressed, a bit nervous, and a bit off-kilter. The consequence of this reality is that people are continually teetering on the edge of making fear-based decisions. And since nothing good happens when we make decisions rooted in fear, this is a critical inflection point for many.

Here's a little hack I find helpful on this journey. Whenever a decision is in front of me, I ask myself if fear is playing a role. Then, I try to be honest with myself. It's amazing how often fear plays a role, even when we don't think so. I regularly catch myself almost making fear-based decisions, and when I do, I'm able to take a step back, assess it for what it is, and then make a more rational decision without fear skewing me one way or another.

One of my roles in my coaching is to catch people when fear is creeping in. After all, it's easier for other people to spot our blind spots than it is to see our own. As such, consider bringing other people into the fold. Allow others who know you and care about you to help assess key decisions. It's amazing how much insight someone can have when they are on the outside looking in.

None of this seems tremendously profound today, and I'm not overly impressed by writing style or humor, but this just feels like the right message on the right day. Perhaps someone needs to hear this today. Have an amazing day!

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