Destroy the Bar

My friend was beyond frustrated. He had just fired an employee, but right before that, another stopped showing up. My buddy owns a successful landscaping company. "Travis, if you know anyone who wants to work, let me know. We pay good money."

"You bet," I responded. "What particular skills are you looking for?"

"Someone who will show up and show up on time. That's it. We can teach the rest."

The bar has never been lower. In a field that requires certain skills, my business owner friend simply needs people who will show up. I asked if he cares about people being hard workers. "Well, that's preferred, but the most important part is that they are present. I'll take that!" Again, the bar has never been lower.

Sarah and I spent the last two days in a lake town at a waterfront hotel. The boys are at Grandma and Grandpa's house, so we have a few rare days of alone time. We've had a blast catching rest, sun, and relaxation. We've also hit a bunch of the local restaurants, bars, and coffee shops. Let's just say the results have been wildly mixed. Translation: The bar has never been lower!

Between the service, food quality, hospitality, cleanliness, and timeliness, it's been a wild experience. Very few places are doing things well. Yet, despite that, many appear to be succeeding. I found myself wondering what would happen if someone set up shop with an explicit goal of being excellent. They would take over this little world! Why? Because the bar has never been lower.

I'm not picking on this particular town. I see it every day in every city, including my own. "Good enough" seems to be the motto of our day, creating a sleepwalking culture where businesses look to the left and look to the right, trying to determine how little effort must be exerted to stay on par with their peers. If the bar is low, expectations can remain muted and still eke out a victory they call survival.

I'll share an example of someone who doesn't give two rips about the bar. Sarah and I walked into a little deli. It was bright and vibrant, with a ton of energy.....you could feel it. The front of the store was stocked with a unique mix of products. The back half, though, was where the magic happened. There was a deli counter on the left, with two women ripping out gorgeous sandwiches and slinging little tubs of homemade salads. As I approached the counter, one of the women greeted me like I was her long-lost nephew. She was patient while she excitedly helped me navigate my choices.

The second woman was eager to scoop me up a few salads to pair with our sandwiches. She, too, couldn't have been more cheery. Lastly, with sides in hand, we turned to the right, where we were greeted with a counter full of handmade desserts. Another woman was there to joyfully ring us up and close out our experience. Even before we tasted the food, we were served an experience. By the way, the food was ridiculously good! This place is striving for excellence, and I suspect they are finding success. They see how low the bar is, then crush it.

That's our mission today. Recognize how low the bar is, then destroy it.

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Never a Straight Line

Success is a funny thing. When we watch other people experience wins, it looks like their success is a straight line, up and to the right. However, our own personal journey never seems to be the same. It feels more like a jagged stock market chart, with ups, downs, peaks, valleys.....and more valleys. It feels anything but "successful."

I think we're too hard on ourselves. Or, to be more precise, I think we're looking at the wrong things when judging ourselves. Remember that one time a friend coaxed me into buying a biometric scale? This scale has played a major role in my health journey since February. Specifically, I've been focusing on reducing my body fat percentage. I jump on the scale every morning as soon as I wake up, and the data stacks up over time. Here's what a typical month can look like:

I went in the wrong direction on 12 of the 29 days! It's not supposed to feel this crappy. I make wise choices, eat intentionally, and get a ton of steps, yet more than one-third of the time, I fail. Or, that's one way to look at it. Sometimes, we're too zoomed in and miss the bigger picture. The following image is a weekly snapshot since starting this endeavor in February:

The line seems to be going in a better direction, but I again went in the wrong direction in five of the 17 weeks. It still feels kinda crappy! Or, that's one way to look at it. Maybe I'm still zoomed in too far. The following image is a monthly snapshot since starting:

Oh! That doesn't feel so bad. In fact, that almost looks like a convincing win. I'm going in the right direction! Even on the days or weeks it doesn't seem like it, I'm achieving my goals! Success is never a straight line. Sometimes, we just need to zoom out to give ourselves a clearer perspective.

My financial coaching clients often experience something similar. They’ll blow their budgets, whiff on paying off debt, miss their investment goals, and get into marital money fights with each other. It can feel demoralizing. That’s when I step in with a zoomed-out view and show them that while they might have just experienced a bump in the road, look how much progress they’ve made so far! It’s never a straight line, but if we zoom out enough, it looks pretty dang good.

Whatever you're trying to accomplish, please don't beat yourself up over the micro results. Instead, obsess over the micro inputs and measure the macro outputs. You'll stay sane, crush your goals, and thank yourself for keeping the correct context in mind. It's never a straight line; not for you and not for them. Enjoy the bumpy journey.

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Knowing Your Worth

I witnessed something atrocious yesterday.

As I was waiting to get a haircut, the other barber in the shop had a peculiar interaction with a customer. This customer asked the barber for a jar of hair product, and the barber quickly obliged by grabbing it off the shelf and handing it to him. "How 'bout I give you $11 for this?" The barber looked stunned; stunned enough that she froze and looked uncomfortable. The shelf price is $24, by the way (it's the same product I use). A few more interactions happened, but I didn't hear. She eventually responded, "$11 is fine." But then, I heard him ask, "Well, what does it cost you?"

While cutting another man's hair, my barber jumps in, "It costs her $12." The man, being ever so thoughtful and generous (tongue in cheek), said, "I don't want you to lose money. I'll give you $12." I can't put in writing the things I wanted to do to that jerk. He couldn't have been more demeaning in his approach. In short, he treated her like a single penny of markup on the product from her cost would have been unfair to him. Again, I wanted to do things that would have landed me in jail.

Whether you're an entrepreneur or work in a traditional job, I cannot stress enough the importance of knowing your worth. Sure, some people think they are worth far more than they are (you know who I'm talking about!). However, most of us far undervalue ourselves....especially small business owners. Yesterday, that barber grossly undervalued herself. Selling product is a meaningful part of her business's revenue stream, and some jerk weaseled his way in and undercut her.

I have a rule in my coaching/consulting services. If I quote a package for a prospective client and they ask for a discount, I won't let them hire me....not even at full price. Their request means they don't value what I'm bringing to the table, at least not to the level of what I'm charging.....and that's okay. My services aren't for everyone. Some people don't want my services at all. Some people want my services, but at a much lower price. Neither of them should hire me. It means I'm not the right person for them. I'm not mad at them for it, and I certainly don't take it personally. But that's not the right client for me.

It reminds me of a moment I had early in my coaching career. One of my friends suggested that I immediately double my rates. Hesitant, I told him I would tentatively give it a shot later in the day, as I had two consultations. I quoted both prospects the same price, roughly double as my friend suggested. The first prospect said it was the biggest discount in the world and asked if we could start immediately. The second prospect said it was a massive ripoff and people would be stupid to hire me.

Whatever you do, it's not for everyone. Your hourly wage. Your annual salary. Your sales commission. Your fee. Some people will laugh at you, calling you a ripoff. Others, though, will see what you really bring to the table and will eagerly pay you to serve them well. Know your worth, and don't let a couple jerks knock you off your path.

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The Three Invisible Legs

Warning: Non-traditional post….and a bit longer than normal. I felt conflicted, but ultimately decided I needed to take this tangent today.

Shockwaves were recently sent through my community when a popular restaurant unexpectedly closed. It's a newer restaurant that's known to be quite busy. Social media was abuzz, with many commenters dumbfounded by how a business as busy as this can't make it financially.

There were, of course, the obligatory comments about tariffs, evil landlords, how there are already too many restaurants, and people not "supporting" small businesses (which is ironic considering the place was constantly packed).

Several people sent me news articles about the closure, asking for my perspective. As a society, we judge how good a business is doing by how much traffic it has. After all, it's tangible. More people equals more revenue, and more revenue equals more profit.

Today, I want to discuss what I refer to as the three invisible legs of business. Like a real three-legged stool, a business needs all three of these legs to stand firm. If one or more is missing (often the case), the business is at risk of faltering. With that setup, here are the three legs:

First, capital structure. This refers to how the business is funded. Some businesses require little capital to launch, creating little to no capital structure tension. However, if a business owner relies heavily on debt, the financial burden of this capital structure can feel heavy. Consumers can't see how this dynamic silently and brutally plays out behind the scenes. The moment a business owner creates the capital structure is the moment a certain level of risk/pressure is introduced (or not).

Second, overhead. One of the other hallmark moments that defines a business's financial fate is when its overhead is established. Think about these as fixed costs. Rent, utilities, insurance, software, labor (for non-service businesses), etc. These expenses must be paid whether or not a single penny of revenue is generated. And depending on how the business owner approached this, it can feel anywhere from light as a feather to an anvil tied around your ankle.

Third, gross margins. This is one of the least understood nuances of business.....even among business owners. The gross margin is how much profit each good or service generates when sold. For example, if a retailer buys a t-shirt for $10 and sells it for $15, it generates a 33% gross margin ($5 profit divided by $15 sale price). However, the underbelly of gross margins in most people's businesses is that they don't account for the full cost. Let's use the same t-shirt example. Not only do we need to include the cost of the shirt, but also the card processing fees, tags, bags, and any other nuances. Let's say these costs account for an additional $3. Instead of a $5 profit, it's actually only $2.....which is a 13% gross margin. Margins matter so much! If a business doesn't have satisfactory margins, they won't even be profitable if they sell a billion dollars worth of goods!

This is where all three invisible legs get slotted together. There needs to be enough sales at a high enough gross margin to overcome the capital structure and overhead.....plus enough to provide a sustainable profit. All three legs matter so much, and this is where many businesses are whiffing. It's a simple concept, but difficult to execute.

I’ll close with an example:

Business A generates $45,000 of monthly revenue at a 35% gross margin. That’s $15,750 of gross profit. After subtracting $11,000 of overhead and $4,000 of debt payments, it has $750 of profit remaining.

Business B generates the same $45,000 of revenue, but at a 50% gross margin. That’s $22,500 of gross profit. After subtracting $7,000 of overhead and $1,000 of debt payments, it has $14,500 of profit remaining.

It looks the same from the outside, but behind the curtain, Business B is making nearly 20x as much profit on the same amount of sales. These dynamics can be staggering!

Consumers, hopefully you find this interesting and make you see things differently next time you go into a business. Business owners, please focus on these three legs; your survival and success depend on it.

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Losing Track

Most people have a stark understanding of the rhythms of their week. They can feel it in their souls. What makes me say this? The vast majority of people have a little internal clock that counts down to Friday. There's an anticipation that builds all week, culminating with a euphoric feeling as Friday afternoon approaches. Then, as the weekend wears on, the opposite happens. As the weekend fun ticks on, a little sense of dread starts building, particularly on Sunday afternoons. Some call it the Sunday Scaries. But in any event, most people have a good feel for their weeks.

While I know this feeling intimately, that's not how I experience life today. My day-to-day and week-to-week experiences are quite different, and borderline disorienting. If I were to put a checkmark in the "con" category of pursuing work that matters, one might be this: Every day feels the same.

No, every day doesn't look the same. I do different things each day, and my work varies widely. However, my perspective of my days and weeks doesn't deviate. I can't tell weekdays from weekends. I can't discern the night before a work day and the night before a day off. I don't have an internal clock that says tomorrow should be Friday, or a sense that Monday is approaching. Every day feels exactly the same to me.

On one hand, this is an awesome feeling. I look forward to each and every day, regardless of whether it's a work day or a vacation day. I wake up with a bold sense of anticipation and excitement.

On the other hand, I lose track of time. I never remember if tomorrow is a work day or a weekend. I wake up most mornings not immediately knowing if I'm supposed to work or relax. It's surreal.

I never really thought much about this feeling until a client brought it up. He explained a similar concept in his life, and up to that moment, I just thought I was the only crazy person who felt this way. Now, I'm beginning to understand there's an entire group of people who experience this surreal dynamic to their rhythms.

For as weird and disorienting as this feeling is, I decided I'm going to chalk it up as a win. After all, if we're looking forward to each day, regardless of what degree of work or play it entails, that should tell us something about the life we're pursuing.

Does this resonate with you? Can you relate? I'm curious how people respond to this idea. Am I crazy? Does this even sound appealing? Please react to this and share what's on your mind. I hope you have a great start to your week. Wait, it is Monday, isn't it?

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You Didn’t Put a Ring On It

Two years ago, one of my clients made a dramatic shift in her career when she accepted a new job in a new industry. Her career started in the field she studied in college, but seven years later, she felt called to move in a different direction.

These last two years have been fantastic for her, but she again feels called in a different direction....into yet another completely new industry. The feelings of guilt are growing. She's developing a self-consciousness about this development. Is she a traitor? What will her friends and family think? Shouldn't she be using her degree? Wouldn't it be better to stay in one place?

Here's my feedback to her: "You didn't put a ring on it. You aren't married to a specific job or a particular industry. Do what you gotta do."

Then, she turned the tables on me. "Travis, how do you know you want to do what you're doing for the rest of your life?"

The truth is, I don't. I might be doing the exact same thing 20 years from now......or I might make another drastic shift in 20 months. I have no idea, and that's exciting! All I know is that I'm exactly where I need to be today, and tomorrow, I'll endeavor to do the same.

All we have is the present. We can't go back and redo what's already happened, and we can't yet influence the future. Today is what we have to work with, so we might as well honor it by following our calling.

Not only do I think my client is making the right decision, but I wish more people were as bold as she is. So many people would be blessed and live with far more meaning if they were honest with themselves and brave enough to follow their unique calling (even if their calling seems crazy to others).

You didn't put a ring on it, so please don't treat it like you did. It's okay to make a shift. Don't live with the regret of wondering what would have happened had you actually followed that calling.

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Downshifting

I shared this with a few readers already, but yesterday's post was one of the rare instances where I dreaded hitting the "publish" button. I knew the backlash would be swift and severe, and I was right. Within just a few hours of the post going live, I received at least 30 messages.....and nearly all of them were negative. You can read yesterday's post HERE, but in the event you don't want to, I'll summarize:

• Yesterday was the 20th anniversary of starting my career.

• I'm almost 44 years old.

• I'm only 1/3 through my career. Translation: I implied that my career will stretch (God willing) into my early-to-mid 80s.

• I don't believe in the world's made-up concept of retirement. It encourages us to remove ourselves from the game and live for ourselves just when we're entering our peak impact years.

• I think we all deserve better than to coast out our remaining days like a bunch of spoiled slugs. You have so much more in you!

Most of the negative feedback revolved around the idea that some people who are retired still work, volunteer, be productive, and use their skills. If that's you, I applaud you. But I also have some news for you: You're not actually retired. See, I think culture has created a perverted definition of the word "retirement." We generally define retirement as one or more of the following things:

• No longer working full-time (i.e. working less than the traditional 40-hour week).

• No longer working at a job that sucks (i.e. "I'm doing something I love now").

• No longer getting paid for the work (i.e. volunteering).

All three of those are still work. Part-time work is still work. Meaningful or enjoyable work is still work. Volunteer work is still work. Therefore, if you "retired" and now fall into one or more of these categories, you didn't retire; you just quit your job and shifted your career to something new.

I call it downshifting. Blog reader Randy is "retired," except he's not. He merely downshifted his pace and transitioned into different roles. He's actually making more impact in this season of his career than ever before.

Blog reader Dave may soon be in the same camp. He'll "retire" in the world's eyes, but he's not actually retiring. Instead, he'll probably downshift and focus more time on other work. Similar to Randy, he'll make far more impact in the next season than he has in all his years prior.

My friend Julie "retired" a year ago, but she did nothing of the sort. Though a "retirement" party was thrown in her honor, she merely left that job, downshifted, and transitioned into different work. Knowing her, she'll probably even upshift again at some point.

Ironically, much of the criticism I received yesterday was from people who aren't actually retired, but rather fall into this weird and twisted definition the world has set before us. Each one of them is and will make more impact in this next season of their downshifted careers than ever before. And for that, I applaud them for their service and commitment to serving others.

Yes, true "retirement" is an option. We can bask in comfort and live the remainder of our years for ourselves. The other option is to stay in the game. Downshift. Transition. Focus. Create impact. Pursue meaning.

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1/3 Through the Race

Today marks the 20th anniversary of starting my career: June 6th, 2005. Just a few days after graduating with a finance degree from Iowa State University, I packed up my dumpy little apartment and moved into an equally dumpy little apartment in suburban Kansas City.

I spent the next four years growing my career in institutional commercial real estate investing before being involuntarily relocated to Des Moines, Iowa, during the Great Financial Crisis. It was a scary and frustrating time, but I was so grateful for the opportunity to keep a job when everyone around me was losing theirs. I was hurt, but blessed.

I spent the next ten years continuing my commercial real estate journey, eventually leading me to work primarily with European and Middle Eastern clients. Those were some special years, and I grew tremendously through them.

However, during the back half of that decade, I felt this lingering pull to make a dramatic shift and dedicate my life to something different. That was a hard decision, though, as I was making more money than I ever imagined I would. Ultimately, I had to choose meaning over money, and in June 2019, I started my financial coaching business.

These last six years have been absolutely wild. It started as financial coaching for families, but quickly grew to include business consulting, podcasting, writing, speaking, and Northern Vessel. I'm so grateful for all of it. It's been the honor of a lifetime.

Today, I'm almost 44 years old. As I reflect on the past 20 years, I realize I'm about 1/3 through my career. So much has happened already, but I can't even fathom what's about to happen in the next 40 years of this career. Here's one thing I do know, though. Whatever happens in the next chapter will dwarf the impact I had in the first 20 years of my career. No matter how much good happened in the past, the future will surely be brighter.

How do I know that? Here's how. 44-year-old Travis has more experience, skills, insights, relationships, influence, and resources than the Travis who existed over the prior 20 years. As such, there's almost zero chance I don't make a bigger impact this next season than the last. Everything builds on everything.

The irony of this situation is that our culture will soon cheer me on to retire and ride off into the sunset. It will tell me that I can afford to quit work and start "enjoying life." So many people I know are leaving the game before even reaching their peak impact years. They raced to this made-up 21st-century concept called retirement, where they will now coast out the remainder of their lives in comfort. Instead, they could literally be changing the world by engaging in the world with everything they have to offer.

Don't get me wrong; I'm all for freedom of choice. Everyone has the right to do whatever they want with their life. I don't have a right to tell people what they should or shouldn't do. However, I'm going to use whatever influence I have, and the example I have the opportunity to model, to show that each of us has so much more to offer this world than the world is giving us credit for.

Whatever impact you made in the past pales in comparison to what you can do from here on out. Prove it.

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The No Lending Rule

Sarah and I have a rule in our marriage that's so ingrained into our being that I forget it's considered weird. We will NEVER lend money to someone. Nobody. No amount. For any reason. There's not a single exception we would ever make to this rule.

Many people would call this selfish on our part. "Why wouldn't you help a friend or family member who needs help?!?!" First, I'd argue that lending money to people who are struggling isn't a form of help; it's a quick way to put an even heavier burden on them. Think about it. There's a reason someone needs money, and it probably involves them not having money. And if they are asking for (or receiving) money from you, it means they've probably already tapped other sources of debt. Translation: They are hurting!

It's so sad to see the pain in someone's eyes as they share about how their relationship with a loved one became impaired over a $20, $50, or $100 debt. Entire families have been ruined over a few hundred bucks. In Sarah's and my opinion, our relationships are worth far more than that (priceless, even!). In a recent study, it was reported that 33% of Americans were owed money from a friend or family member. The same study also reported that almost half of respondents say the debt has caused negative consequences to the relationship. Therefore, Sarah and I would NEVER lend money to a friend or family member.

Back to us being selfish (tongue in cheek). There's no amount of money I wouldn't give someone as a GIFT. If someone in my life needs something, I got them. If someone is hurting, I'll provide. If someone is facing a struggle, I'll write the check. On one condition, though. It's a GIFT. No paybacks. No guilt. No strings attached. They must lovingly receive the gift as a gift.....period.

If someone demands that they give something in return, here's what I say. "Down the road, after you've recovered from this situation, you're going to encounter someone who is hurting. Bless them. Help them. Serve them." That's called community. That's actual love.

Today, I'm begging you to NEVER lend money to a friend or family member again. Don't risk the relationship over some stupid money. Also, don't leave them hanging. If someone in your life is hurting, step into the gap and share some of what you have. No paybacks. No guilt. No strings attached. Be a true blessing to them. You might just change their lives, and in turn, eventually change other people's lives through them. It's the circle of generosity rippling through our communities.

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Never As Good As We Believe

May was an epic month for us at Northern Vessel. We experienced unprecedented growth and achieved things we never thought possible. We sold 1,100 gallons of our signature oat milk cold brew latte alone. Unreal developments, and I'm so grateful for all of it.

At the same time, however, we encountered and discovered gut-wrenching problems that knocked us down a peg or two on the ego scale. This is a universal principle I firmly believe in: No matter how good we might think we're doing, we're never as good as we believe. Danger lurks behind every corner, and our successes often mask the warts.

I'm not trying to go all Debbie Downer on you today. In fact, I think this is the most encouraging message of all. There's ALWAYS room for improvement. That's why some of my favorite coaching clients are the ones who are already doing well in their finances, businesses, and careers. No matter how good they might think they are doing, we WILL unearth some warts when we pull back the layers. Translation: There's no cap on their potential!

One of my clients is in the process of paying off more than $80,000 of student loan debt, $2,000/month, month after month. Not too shabby, and they hope to be done in less than 40 months. Common sense would suggest they are doing pretty awesome, but ultimately, they aren't doing as well as they believe. My job was to help them dig deeper and find their warts. After a few small but meaningful tweaks, their 40-month payoff plan has been reduced to 17 months. That's the power of realizing we're never as good as we believe. I'm excited for them!

Whatever area of your life this piece makes you think about, just know that you have far more in you. The only thing it requires of you is the humility to look deeper and genuinely desire to see the warts under the surface. Once you find them and address them head-on, you'll be able to hit a new, unprecedented trajectory.

As for us at Northern Vessel, we have our work cut out for us to correct some of these flaws. We owe our customers excellence. No matter how good people tell us we are, we can't quit striving for an even higher standard, in every aspect of the business. We owe that to our customers......and ourselves. You do, too, in whatever discipline you happen to find yourself in. Today's a great day to push forward.

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Four and a Quarter

I recently found treasure! Well, not real treasure, exactly. As I was rummaging through some of my old childhood possessions, I stumbled upon a little wrinkled piece of paper that more resembled a ticker tape than a sheet of paper. It was my original pay stub from my very first job!

I was 15 years old and was hired to be an early morning groundskeeper at my local golf course. My first responsibility was to arrive at the course five days per week at 5AM to rake all the sandtraps before the early bird golfers arrived. My hourly wage for such a stellar job? $4.25/hour. Yeah, you bet I was rollin' in the dough!

It's easy to look at that number - $4.25/hour - and laugh. It was so little, especially after taxes were withheld. However, it might as well have been a million dollars for a 15-year-old kid trying to save money for his first car.

I learned so much at that job. No, I didn't go on to apply my groundskeeping skills in the years and decades that followed. That summer, I learned about discipline, doing difficult tasks, the value of money, and the beauty of work. That job didn't feel beautiful at the time (it kinda sucked!), but over the subsequent decades, I look back fondly at that job and what it taught me.

I hope each of you has your version of my four and a quarter per hour job. The one that paid little, challenged much, and taught you some key lessons along the way. To this day, I never take anything for granted, especially as a business owner. I'm so grateful for each and every dollar of income I'm blessed with to provide for my family.

Sometimes, when I get reflective, I think back to that kid working on the golf course as a 15-year-old, sweating it out for four and a quarter per hour. I'm really glad he did that. Had he not, I don't think I would have developed the habits, mindsets, and principles I have today.

Never forget where you came from, and never take what you have for granted. Both are blessings.

Lastly, if you have kids, don’t rob them of the beauty of work. Encourage them to create their own four-and-a-quarter moments that will shape them, mold them, and teach them valuable life lessons. It’s not even about the money. It’s about learning how to work and the discipline it takes to be successful. That skill is needed more now than ever before!

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Unbusy

Well, summer is here! The kids just finished second grade and look forward to a fun summer. Countless people have asked me a very common question: "Do you have a busy summer planned?"

We have an unbusy summer planned. I feel like life is already too busy and can easily get out of control. Summers are just the same. Busy, busy, busy. Our strategy is simple, though. We are going to spend the summer unbusy.

Sure, we have a few trips planned and there are some activities here and there. However, most days are completely wide open.......by design. Busy does not mean valuable. Busy does not mean good. Busy does not mean meaningful.

In fact, I'd argue being unbusy can be even more meaningful. I so much cherish the slow, spontaneous moments of an unbusy summer. The out-of-the-blue bonfires, the impulsive trips to eat ice cream, the spur-of-the-moment basketball challenges, the on-a-whim drive-in theater adventures, the spontaneous opportunities for generosity. Those are the most special memories in our house. Unbusy, but flexible.

Just yesterday alone, I played Pax one-on-one in basketball, cooked steaks with Finn, and shared some cruising time in the convertible with Pax. These memories are priceless, yet free or almost free. It's not about some grandiose adventure that costs several days and many thousands of dollars. It's about slowing down enough when it counts so that we can be present. Small but powerful moments.

I'm used to the following conversation:

Friend: "What do you have going on this weekend?"

Me: "Absolutely nothing. We don't have anything planned."

Friend: "Those are good sometimes."

Me: "We try to make that every weekend."

Friend: ........

Unbusy. Those who know me well know how much I've struggled with busy in my life. I have a bit of a reputation....spanning decades. However, this is one area of unbusy I've been able to dial in. My family will not fall into the culture of busy. It's worn as a badge of honor in our society, but I reject that. Unbusy is the plan. We'll fight for that each day and each week this summer, and we'll absolutely fail at times, but we'll give it our best shot.

I hope some of you will join us in the pursuit of an unbusy summer.

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Excellence, On Display

I spent yesterday morning observing my town's farmer'’ market, wearing a few different hats. First, I'm on the board of directors for the organization that hosts the market. Second, I have multiple clients that operate booths at the market. I spent the day watching, chatting, and taking notes.

First, my town's farmer's market is Thriving, with a capital "T." It's amazing to watch how it's evolved over the years, blossoming into a destination. That's a difficult task, considering it's only a 20-minute drive away from one of the top three markets in the country. For years, my town's farmers’ market was a consumer's consolation prize for not driving to the Downtown Des Moines Farmers' Market. Now, however, it's THE go-to for many people.

That sort of transformation doesn't happen by accident. Rather, it's a byproduct of excellence. That's not a simple endeavor, though, as each company operates independently. Each experience is different. Every booth, every product offering, every pricing strategy. All it takes is a handful of bad vendors to spoil the reputation of the market. On the flip side, it takes multiple examples of excellence to establish a winning reputation for the market.

What I witnessed yesterday was widespread excellence. There are no coincidences. When businesses are excellent, people flock. When they aren't, they don't. I've written about this before, but an entire segment of our population preaches "support small business." They shout it from the rooftops, casting a shadow of guilt, manipulation, and obligation upon the broader audience. What they have to sell may or may not be any good, but we should "support" them because they are small (and local).

The irony of this phenomenon is that almost everyone is small and local. As I witnessed the behavior of the market-goers yesterday, they flocked to the excellent businesses and largely avoided the "support small business" businesses (which often correlate with a lack of excellence).

People don't care about supporting you; they care that you're excellent. If you're excellent, they will come. If you aren't, they won't. This is always painfully obvious in a farmer's market setting. Sure, you can talk down to everyone (on social media or in person), telling them they need to support you, but the cream always rises to the top. If you lack excellence, you'll suffer, and it has nothing to do with you being a small business.

Farmer's markets are the great equalizer. Everyone is on the same playing field. Most vendors have the same booth size, the same hours, and the same foot traffic. What they do with that opportunity, however, is what really matters. Those who are excellent will thrive. Those who aren't will either learn to become excellent, or fizzle out.

Next time you're at your local farmer's market, keep your eyes open for these dynamics. It's a fun way to walk through the market! Oh yeah, and while you're there, find some excellent businesses and allow them to serve you well!

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Worst Nightmare or Dream Come True

A question was posed at my table: "What would you do if you suddenly had enough money to live and no longer had to worry about finances?"

The answers were nearly unanimous. "I'd quit my job." "I'd quit my job." "I'd quit my job." "I'd quit my job." Then, it was my turn to answer....except I didn't have an answer. I froze. Even with the benefit of now having weeks to think about it, I can't think of a single action I'd take if I suddenly had enough resources to no longer worry about finances. I certainly wouldn't quit my job, and that feedback caused quite the stir at my table.

Let's modify the original question. "What would you do if you suddenly had enough money to live and no longer had to worry about finances?.....with one catch: You MUST quit work."

For most, this is the most no-brainer question of all time. In fact, it's a double win! Security AND retirement.

Curious about how some people might respond to this question, I saved it for a client meeting. I knew I would be meeting with a husband and wife who both love their jobs. They are living their true calling. They ooze with passion. Therefore, this was a perfect opportunity to ambush them with this question. For additional context, they are NOT wealthy. They live a very middle-class lifestyle and absolutely don't have financial security.

"What would you do if you suddenly had enough money to live and no longer had to worry about finances?.....with one catch: You MUST quit work."

Husband: "I don't think I could accept that offer. It sounds terrible."

Wife: "No way I'd do that. My work means too much to me."

Husband: "I know you wouldn't do it, Travis. This sounds like your worst nightmare!"

He knows me too well! They gave me the exact answers I thought they would, and, in fact, this scenario is my worst nightmare. The thought of having all the resources I've ever needed but not doing what I do for work would be like living in a horror movie.

I've shared this with several people and have received two polar opposite responses. 90% of the people shook their heads like I'm a raging lunatic. The other 10% of people nodded their heads with me and told me it's like I'm reading their minds.

I have empathy for people on both sides of this equation. I'm not here to tell people how they should feel, but I'll share how I'd feel if I were in the 90% camp that would eagerly jump for that theoretical opportunity. For me, it would be a sign that I need to do something different. I want to do something so valuable to me that no amount of money could get me to quit it. That's a tell for me. I've been on both sides of this equation, and I'll do almost anything to stay on this side.....including turning down life-altering money.

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The Book Challenge

Someone recently posed an interesting question to me, and after much consideration, I thought I'd pose the same question to you: What is the most impactful book you've ever read?

Books have the power to transform us, take us to a different place/time, and think about things in a way we never imagined. For centuries, books have been a driving source of knowledge, wisdom, perspective, and experiences. Books have the power to shape, mold, and strengthen. Books are amazing!

I have thought long and hard about this question and have a few answers. I discussed this topic with a few friends, and I was fascinated by each person's answers. As such, I'd like to rip the band-aid off this and see if I can get hundreds more answers. What is the most impactful book (or few books) you've ever read? Some of you might be inclined to say The Bible. Fantastic answer, and I would agree, but for the sake of this exercise, let's exclude The Bible.

What is the most impactful book (or few books) you've ever read?

One of mine has to be Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara. This book has completely rewired the way I perceive interactions and running a business with excellence. In fact, this book and its associated principles are the foundation of what we're trying to build at Northern Vessel.

The second is The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz. This is the book that first lit the match for my fascination with behavioral science. It was the entry point for what would become dozens of books on the subject, shaping how I speak about, teach, and engage the topics of work and money.

If I can add a third to my list, it's The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck. I first read this masterpiece in upper elementary school, and it changed my entire perspective on writing. This book showed me the impact we can have with words and storytelling.

What about you? I want to know what the most impactful books have been in your life and, if you're willing to share, why. You can hit reply to this e-mail, or if you're reading on the website, drop a comment below. I can't wait to compile a comprehensive list and share it with everyone. Better together. Always better together. Have a great day.

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Even When You Don’t See It

I recently had a fun interaction with a young couple. As we discussed how this couple operates their financial lives, I was continually impressed by how they had things set up. From how they budgeted, the tools they used, and the principles they practiced. For not being financially-minded people, they sure had a firm grasp on their finances! They were leaps and bounds ahead of most people.

Curious, I asked how they ended up in such a cool place already in their marriage. "We both listen to your podcast all the time, then we talk about it, then we try to implement pieces of it in our marriage."

Wow, just wow! To be honest, it's hard to see the true impact of a podcast. 425 times, we recorded, edited, published, and trusted that our Meaning Over Money Podcast would make a difference. 425 episodes. 113 hours of me talking into a microphone, published into the abyss.

While it would be so much more fun, rewarding, and emboldening to see every impact our work makes, that's not reality. We might get a glimpse into some of our impact, but most happens behind the scenes. We set things into motion and trust good will come from it. That applies to all jobs in all disciplines. Here's the beautiful thing, though. Impact is still impact, even when you don't see it. It all counts the same whether you're watching it first-hand or if you never know about it at all.

So much of what you do each day impacts the world in ways you never would imagine. Things you say, actions you take, decisions you make. Yes, some days feel futile. You might get home and wonder if it was all for nothing. No, in fact, it wasn't. Good came from your work today, whether you know it or not. And more good will come from it tomorrow.

This is all to say, don't be discouraged. Don't underestimate the impact you're having. Each day you set yourself into the world and endeavor to do good work, good things ARE happening. Your work matters. You're making ripple effects on this world, whether visible or invisible, and the world is a better place for it. Keep up the good work.

Here's my prayer for you today. Like this young couple I had the pleasure of speaking with, I hope you get a little glimpse into the impact your work is having on the world. I hope you get a little boost of encouragement just when you need it. Don't miss it or dismiss it when it comes. Celebrate, be grateful, and keep up the good work!

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The Many Paths to Neither-ville

I have to admit, my recent piece titled Givers, Receivers, Neithers, and Eithers has quickly become one of my favorite things I've ever written. You had a lot to say about this one, too, and I loved reading your perspectives, insights, encouragement, and criticism. Many of you suggested that there are more than four camps of people, citing specific examples. Upon processing, I still believe there are only four camps.

Here's something interesting, though. Each example someone brought up was valid. I agree with and affirm every one. However, these examples weren't different camps, but rather various paths to Neither-ville.

Here's how I described Neithers in my prior post: "Neithers, the most common group in America, believe in personal responsibility, independence, and autonomy. They believe people ought to help themselves, but if they don't (or can't), there's someone else responsible for stepping in. Neithers closely associate their hard work with their money, and have a desire to use said money to progress their family's interests (security, wealth, comfort, lifestyle, or status). Neithers are proud to make it on their own. They'd rather suffer harsh consequences than take a handout from someone. "I don't need help" is a common phrase Neithers would think or say."

Based on my verbiage, the primary reason for Neithers being Neithers is a core belief in personal responsibility, independence, and autonomy. That's 100% true, and I'll die on that hill. However, that's not the only path to Neither-ville; there are many paths! That's why our collective aggregation toward Nither-ville is so pervasive.

With that said, here's a more complete list of how people find their way into the Neither camp:

• Greed. This one is fairly obvious. If we genuinely believe what we have is ours, and having more is better than having less, we develop a natural predisposition to be a Neither. This typically aligns with people whose mission is to "build wealth" or keep up with the Joneses.

• Hoarding. This one is similar to greed, but with a purer intent. For various reasons (typically involving childhood experiences), some people develop a scarcity mindset and a subsequent predisposition to hoard financial assets. For these people, there's never enough to be enough, thus giving becomes nearly impossible.

• Fear. Similar to hoarders, fear-based people often experience financial trauma in their childhoods, resulting in a perpetual fear that everything will be taken away at any minute. This creates much friction when generosity is in play.

• FIRE. There's an entire segment of our population that subscribes to FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early). These people are racing to retirement, and any act of generosity delays their frantic pace toward the coveted end of their careers. Thus, generosity gets left in the dust.

• Narcissism. For some, everything really is about them, and when that happens, it becomes nearly impossible to look outside of themselves to see the bigger picture. Narcissists struggle to give, as giving rarely serves their self-interests.

• Bubbles. Some people, at no fault of their own, live in a bubble. They have their own problems and are unaware of the plight of others. In their mind, they "need" the resources just as much (or more) than others, thus opting to hold the resources for themselves.

As a recovering Neither, I can confidently attest that everyone can move out of the Neither camp and into the Either camp. Whatever your hurdles, just know there's so much beauty on the other side of this.

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Symptoms vs. Afflictions

My kids have brutal seasonal allergies. Just a few weeks ago, Pax's eyes were nearly swollen shut when he got out of bed. He also had the sniffles and the sneezes.....he was a mess!

When Sarah saw him, she didn't say to me, "Travis, we need to treat his swollen eyes." No, of course not. No amount of eye drops would have fixed that problem. She said, "We need to do something about his allergies." This is intuitive, of course, and any other approach would be laughable. We don't address the symptoms; we address the affliction. The disease, the sickness, the root cause. In Pax's case, he didn't have a case of swollen eye syndrome. He had seasonal allergies, and one of the symptoms was swollen eyes.

In yesterday's post, I shared about how three of my friends are secretly miserable. In the post, I talked about how many of us are willing to die for our family, but at the same time, aren't willing to actually live for our family.

I highlighted what a day in the life often looks like for people stuck in a misery loop. Part of this loop involved a feeling of discontentment with one's work. However, I didn't specify if the misery is caused by work or if the misery felt at work is caused by a broader issue. This is a classic example of symptoms vs. afflictions. Which causes which?

The truth is, it varies from person to person. In the case of my three friends, two of them have work that is an affliction. It's toxic for them. They are doing the wrong jobs for the wrong reasons. It's eating them from the inside out, which is leaking into other areas of their lives.

The third man, however, is a different story. The misery he feels at work is a symptom of a broader issue. Notice how when I laid out a series of questions I ask myself about whether I'm actually living, only one of the six questions involved work. The other five questions revolved around other aspects of life. In the case of this particular man, he was violating several other questions, and the misery he experienced at work was a symptom.....not the affliction. In fact, he could have the best job in the entire world, and he'd probably still feel miserable. That's what it looks like when we're not actually living.

Perspective matters, and in the case of our work, we need to realize that our mindset and attitude impact our experience. If we're not actually living, there's no amount of job changes that will make us feel meaning in our work. Therefore, it's imperative that we pursue meaning in ALL areas of our lives. If we’re not right, we need to look inside for the affliction instead of treating every external symptom like it’s the problem.

I shared my post and some of your feedback with my three friends. It didn't solve their issues, but it certainly opened up some new dialogue. Thanks so much for that! These three men deserve to actually live, which may or may not involve different work. But that's why it's so important to recognize the difference between afflictions and symptoms in our lives. Acknowledge symptoms and treat afflictions.

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But Would You Live For Them?

I was having drinks with a handful of guy friends recently. There were four of us in total. We discussed all the normal-type things: Family, work, sports, faith, and upcoming travel plans. The conversation evolved to a bit of a morbid topic, triggered by a recent news story about a family that was attacked by a random assailant.

"I would die for my family," exclaimed one of my friends. One by one, each of my friends said the same thing. As a husband and father, they would die for their family. Noble. I agreed with them about this sentiment. If push came to shove, I would sacrifice myself for my family.

However, I asked a follow-up question. "Yeah, but would you live for your family?"

They looked at me, puzzled. For the ten minutes before this topic, each of them shared about how miserable they were in their respective careers and lives. All three of these guys are massively successful, as defined by the world, but each secretly lives in misery.

Each one of these men has achieved something in their lives, and in an effort to retain the comfort, stability, and ease of this new lifestyle, they continuously make choices to maintain the status quo. In other words, they are drowning in their own pool of comfort. In the sports world, it's called "playing not to lose."

None of them is actually living (their words), and their lives are struggling as a result. There's tension in their marriages and tension in their parenting. Their careers suck. Time keeps ticking too fast, but at the same time, not fast enough to finally get to this retirement finish line they fantasize about. They are depressed but mask it in normalcy. The life they are living isn't actually living. It's a form of delayed dying.

I think most people would willfully die for their family, but many won't actually live for their family. Here's the modern-day recipe for a day in the life:

• Wake up and get ready.

• Spend 8-10 hours at a job you tolerate or dislike.

• Come home grumpy and disgruntled.

• Spend a few precious hours with family.

• Count down the days until the weekend arrives.

• Savor the weekend, which might include spending time with friends/family, going on a trip, and/or buying something fun.

• By Sunday afternoon, begin the dread of the Sunday Scaries.

• Wake up on Monday and repeat.

That's a comfortable life. That's a normal life. That's a predictable life. But is it living? Most people, when confronted with this question in an honest setting, will say "no."

Here are a few questions I ask myself:

• Am I pursuing work that matters when I wake up each morning?

• Am I seeking comfort or pushing myself out of my comfort zone?

• Am I actively serving God and serving others?

• Am I giving sacrificially?

• Am I embracing the adventure or playing it safe?

• Am I proud of what I model for my kids?

I think most of us would die for our family, no doubt! That's the sign of loyalty, love, and honor. But would you live for them? Are you willing to truly live?

My three friends desperately need a shift. They know it and I know it. It will take courage and the willingness to disregard society’s expectations. They can do this…..and so can you.

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One Round At a Time

One of my family's favorite traditions is our weekly Saturday morning Northern Vessel runs. We hop into the car, head to the shop, and enjoy coffee as a family. It's one of my favorite traditions, and marks the end of a great week.

Yesterday, we were perched on the front window bench, enjoying the sun on our backs. Noticing we are now stocking a new drink in the fridge, Pax asked if we could buy one for him to try.

"Sure, bud, but you gotta be the one who buys it."

I've been setting the boys up for these types of real-world interactions since they were five. It's scary for them, often uncomfortable. Forcing them to engage with other adults in a transactional or financial setting can be scary for kids.....which is exactly why I create these types of scenarios.

Pax, now eight and having done this enough times to know I wasn't going to relent, responded, "Okay. Do you want me to use cash or the debit card?"

"Whichever one you want."

"I'll try cash this time."

Then, I gave him my usual pep talk:

• Speak loudly

• Communicate clearly

• Be confident

• Use your pleases and thank-you's

Without hesitation (a new and welcomed development), he took the cash, grabbed his beverage, and approached the register. Then, in a fun little twist of fate, he was met by Antonio, one of our newest baristas. Since we aren't a normal coffee shop, Antonio isn't a normal barista. Antonio is a 6'9" undefeated professional heavyweight boxer. He's a beast. Even I can be intimidated by Antonio! To Pax, he might as well have been Ivan Drago.

Pax handled himself like a little champ, though. He was probably a bit intimidated, but just like Rocky, he didn't back down. I was really proud of how Pax navigated the situation, which is undoubtedly the product of having done this countless times over the past three years. One round at a time, as Rocky's trainer would say!

As parents, it's imperative that we place our kids in these types of situations. Yes, it can be scary. Yes, it can be intimidating. Yes, they are going to fail. Yes, it would be easier to do it ourselves. However, these are the types of repetitions that slowly turn our children into thriving adults.

Furthermore, I'm grateful to Antonio for offering such kindness and hospitality to Pax. That was an intimidating situation, and Antonio allowed Pax to work his way through it and come away with satisfaction and confidence. Antonio is the man!

Parents, please don't rob your children of these types of situations. It might seem simple and meaningless, but these little repetitions can mean everything. Our children deserve to learn about how to use and handle money, as well as real-world interactions with other adults. These are small and powerful wins. Force them. Embrace them. Celebrate them.

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